The Josh Innes Show - JIS Classic: Brock Osweiler Wheel Of Sound

Episode Date: June 30, 2025

Here's a classic from December 2016. I think there's some non Brock content as well. This is before Jilly joined the show..I think. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Josh, mother f***ing Guinness. I used to hate this guy, this guy's a jerk. Say what? This is Josh Innis. Josh Innis. We're going till the world stops turning while we burn it to the ground in love. So the Texans put Braxton Miller on IR. Really? Yeah.

So I guess he won't get to not make any more plays anymore? I guess. It's not really his fault. The quarterback's a schmoe anyway. It is the Josh Ennis show. Welcome in. Texans should win this weekend. I think that's pretty safe to say. The Jaguars are no good. It would be very Texans of them to lose though after beating the slaying the beast as it were. You beat the Colts two times in a row for the first time ever. Everyone's excited. It's very exciting. Then you lose to the Jaguars.

That would be so Texans. Are you predicting another loss? No, Jim, I'm not predicting another loss. I just said they're going to beat the Jaguars. But then you said they would lose to the Jaguars. You're starting. Here's what's annoying me. Here's what's annoying me is not only that I think you're just deliberately badgering me. I don't believe I don't think you believe what you're saying. But also it's like now you've become this, like you are to the RaRa

fanboy Twitter community now. Like what Cher used to be to the gay community. Like you're their hero, you are their messiah. Now all these fanboys on Twitter, yeah Jim go get him Jim, you got him Jim. Well I've never claimed myself to be the Messiah. I think they just find a voice in me. I can't help that. It's so baffling. Of course, if the Colts would have won, that nobody would have said anything, it just would have been, oh boy.

But I'm wrong one time. I'm usually right. I'm wrong this time. And everybody just wants to beat me down. There's comments. By the way, the only stories that really get comments on the radio station's Facebook page are things that come from our show. This I've noticed. And it's usually hate. Oh, this idiot, get him off the airwaves anyway. They don't listen to a thing I actually say.

No, they don't. But then they rally behind you now because you're a knucklehead over there and you've rallied your, I'm calling them the Jeminians. You've rallied the Jeminians now because overnight you became Ra Ra Homer because they beat the bad Colts team for the second time in a row. So now you're Ra Ra fanboy Homer and you're the Messiah to the Jeminians. Who's their biggest rival? Nobody!

The Colts. The Texans don't have a rival. What they do in their Divisional is the Colts. The Colts don't view those losers as a rival though. But the Texans view them as a rival. So what? It can't be a rivalry if one side isn't part of the rivalry. The fans view them as a rival. The Colts view the Patriots. The Patriots don't view them as a rival. I don't care what the Colts view us as. Well a rivalry, like isn't that part of it? Like you want them to hate you too?

Things aren't nearly as much fun if you just hate them and it's not reciprocated. But that's our biggest nemesis. How about that? This is the least interesting division, arguably, in all of sports. Not just the NFL. There is no real rivalry. You're not rivals with Tennessee because, oh, Tennessee took the team. Yeah, but nobody really cares about that anymore because Tennessee ain't any good. The Colts, I guess they just became a rival because they were the best team in this lousy division for so long and you couldn't beat them. Nobody cares about the Jaguids.

So I'd argue the AFC South is the worst division in all of sports. Maybe, but it's our division. Yeah, and you're the king of Crap Mountain now. I'm happy for you that you want to come after me, sling arrows at me, because now you're the messiah to the jaminians who worship at the altar of the kings of crap mountain. I'm happy for you. It's our mountain. Well, you're going to win again. So you're going to be at least an eight win team after this week because I don't see a situation where you lose to the Jaguars. They're a disaster. Now, a way they could lose to the Jaguars

is if they can't run the ball and then you're stuck with Brock Osweiler having to do his Brock Osweiler magic. Now you know that we are fond, would you say that fond of making fun of Brock Osweiler? Yeah, it's a pastime. He is, he over explains everything. He says nothing yet in a 50 second sound bite he can say so much and say so little. He's kind of a dunce, he's kind of a hayseed. And we like to make fun of him. Should we bring out the trash-wiler, the ass-wiler garbage can this weekend? I think so. It's the last game we can do it. Well, no. They still have one more on Christmas Eve. I'm not going out on Christmas Eve.

So I might bring the ass-wiler garbage can. Do you think it'd be a big hit if I brought it out? Oh, yeah. Thanks, Doug. I think most people still hate Brock Osweiler even though they won this week. I think it's still popular. So I'll bring it out this weekend. But we've created something called the Brock Osweiler Wheel of Sound. Now here's how the Brock Osweiler Wheel of Sound works. We have got some of the best sound bites from Brock Osweiler, things that just make us chuckle. We sit in the room back there and just listen and we find him to be humorous unintentionally. So we have this wheel. There are seven pieces of sound on this

wheel. I'm going to spin this and whatever one it lands on will play it. Now let me give you the categories here, okay? Number one is... hold on, let me start number one. Brock doesn't want to go into too many details, then goes into too many details. Brock gets a laser to the eyeball. Brock gets Pagano's point. Brock is frustrated. Brock is a static, but in no way sounds a static. Brock needs more of touchdowns.

And finally, 30 seconds of Brock coughing to the Beavis and Butthead theme song. We've noticed that a couple of weeks ago, Brock coughed a lot during a press conference. He had a cold. All right, so those are the categories. Now we are going to spin the wheel and see which piece of sound you get to hear

and we get to make fun of. Here we go, you ready, Jim? I'm ready, spin of here. We go. You ready Jim. I'm ready 30 seconds of Brock coughing to the Beavis and butthead thing Actually 15 seconds. Yep. So this is Brock. This is the real cough of Brock Osweiler, which sounds eerily similar to the laugh of Butt-head from Beavis and Butt-head. So 15 seconds of Brock Osweiler coughing to the Beavis and Butt-head theme. There you go. Fifteen seconds of Brock coughing to the Beavis and Butthead theme song.

It's amazing. All right, so there's that. You want to do one more? Yep. All right, this is the Brock Osweiler Wheel of Sound. Spin it. Oh, that's a good spin. Yep. All right. This is the Brock Osweiler wheel of sound. Spin it. Oh, that's a good spin.

You've been working out. Brock gets a laser to the eyeball. Now, this is Brock Osweiler over explaining, getting a green laser shot into his eyeball. You know, the laser certainly was very distracting. You know, I've never experienced, you know, a laser being shined into my eyeball during a football game, let alone a professional football game in the National Football League. So I think that was certainly disappointing. But at the end of the day, that's not why we lost the game.

You know, that was just one small factor, but it certainly affected how I was playing and, you know, able to see downfield and whatnot. All he had to say was yeah it was I got a laser shot into my eye and that's that. Yes never on a football field much less an NFL football field. I love the way that that's the best part about Brock though is how he over explains everything. That's where the joke really lies with Brock, which is Well, no, I have never had I have never once had a laser beam shot into my eyeball while playing a football game Let alone an NFL football game in an NFL football stadium And then he goes into a full. Hey, I tell you basically he's the well

I tell you all that to tell you this guy Yes, like he'll tell you 30 seconds worth of info when he could have just said, yeah, it affected me in a negative way. That's all he had to say, because he always ends it that way. Now do you think Brock uses a lot of words to try to sound smarter?

I think so. Or does he, I mean he's a dunce, let's be real. He's a real hay-seed dopey guy. I think that's fair to say. Yeah, but one of the things when Bill O'Brien took this job, he said that he's looking for a quarterback that was smart. He likes smart football players, so maybe Brock's got some pressure on him to sound smart. Yeah. He's not playing smart. All right, let me give one more. We're going to do one more spin of the Brock Osweiler wheel of sound. Okay, make it a good one. Brock is ecstatic.

All right. But in no way sounds ecstatic. Okay. Go ahead, Jim. I'm ecstatic. Anytime you can win a football game in the National Football League, there's no better feeling. And then when you add it being a road game, when you add it being a divisional game that

was extremely important to this team and the rest of our season, shoot, I couldn't be any happier right now. He sure doesn't sound ecstatic. He doesn't. That's Brock's level of ecstatic. He might be a sociopath. He kind of seems kind of nuts. He does.

Well, he does live in or did live in Montana. That's true. Most people from Montana, if I had to guess Are probably the types that would be on that might kill people Maybe there's a reason why you're living miles and miles apart from other people. Where did the Unabomber live? Montana, I think he did I think so in a little shanty a little cabin out there and in Montana So that's the Brock Osweiler wheel of sound and it's a very simple concept We just take audio that makes us laugh of Brock Osweiler why it makes us laugh so much who even knows really who knows? There's just something funny about a guy that over explains everything

Can you play the Beavis and Butthead one one more time? Yeah the Brock it's 15 seconds of Brock Coughing to the Beavis and Butthead theme play that Also the the Beavis sounds more like the Penguin. I apologize for that. I did that in a hurry. I apologize for the crudity of the Beavis impression. I didn't have time to draw it to scale. You did that? Yes, that was awful.

Well, we were in a hurry, so I said, let me just throw down like a couple of these to make the bit kind of work. But I sound like the Burgess Meredith Penguin. I thought you pulled it from the show. No, no. I did a poor job there. 713-212-5790. Brad, thank you for holding. What's up, buddy? Hey, Josh. Hey, dude. Hey, I just wanted to say I'm a THL holder and I gotta say I think stadiums and bars should totally be off limits.

That's just like, that's just bad stuff right there. Basically, what was that Jim was in my ear? What was that? It's like, I think stadiums and bars should just be off limits. It's pretty bad. I agree, but I'm getting people tweeting me saying, well, what about at a tailgate? You know, you very rarely hear people getting shot at tailgates and people have guns out there.

Maybe there's a naivete about what I do. Maybe I'm like a child in this, but I don't assume that that many people have guns in the stadium, but maybe I'm wrong. Yeah, I mean, I've known some people who, you know, would do something like that, but I just think that's terrible think that's a terrible idea. I just feel like it's setting you up for a really bad situation. And what these leagues don't want to deal with, like they can deal with a couple of schmoes fighting, that happens.

Where you're going to run into a really bad situation potentially is when someone dies, and not just falling off an escalator like a dumb drunk, but someone pulls out a gun, aims at someone, misses that guy guy shoots a bystand I mean you could be dealing with massive lawsuits that could potentially cripple the league so it's bad news there so 713-212-5790 713-212-5790 is how you get involved so baseball is so pussified really baseball is so pussified, really sports is so pussified now. We've gotten to a point where everything is soft, everything is you know all we're worried about is whose feelings are being hurt even if

no one's feelings are actually being hurt by anything. The latest with Major League Baseball is they're going to ban bullying and hazing in the new collective bargaining agreement. Now I'm, I am of the belief that a grown man cannot be bullied. You can like, if a guy's got a gun to your temple, that's not bullying. This guy's a criminal, right? But a guy can't come up to you and say, Hey, I'm going to throw you down on the ground and put my balls on your face, but you got to let me of course. No, I'm not going to let that happen. You know what I'm saying? Like the Richie incognito

thing was the dumbest thing ever. It was such a pussified joke of a situation. And of course, you know what's funny about all this? What's that? So Richie incognito is this big bully and he's using the N word and all these texts messages and his pussified little buddy, Jonathan Martin's calling his mommy and he's saying, all that. Right? Yep. What's funny is Richie incognito is completely vilified for this. He's a horrible guy. He's a scumbag. All these schmucks on the internet are going after him. Who's still in the league incognito. You know, who's not in the league anymore. Jonathan Martin. Yep. And Jonathan Martin sucks. Jonathan Martin,

it's funny, more guys, if you shot truth serum into these players and you said, all right, who would you rather have in the fox hole with you? Jonathan Martin or Richie Incognito? I think they're taking Richie Incognito. Oh, absolutely. And we had Billy Devaney on right after this happened and he was going on and on about what a great guy Incognito was. Listen, the guy may be a total schmuck. Like I'm not doubting that. The guy could be just a total, you know, he seems like kind of a dunce anyway, kind of a meathead type of guy. But reality is this, like when I was in Philadelphia, what's his name? Lashawn McCoy accused Chip Kelly of being a racist, gave no reasons for it. Just, you know, basically said the guy

was a racist and never backpedaled on it. Right. So Chip Kelly's labeled a racist. Then LaShawn McCoy, the guy who has labeled his head coach, a racist with no evidence for it. Then is running behind Richie incognito on Buffalo, who at worst is a guy that used the N word in text messages. You know what I mean? All these guys care about is winning. They don't care how bad the coaches, how bad the players are around them. Who's cheating on their wives, who is out doing drugs as long as they win and get theirs. And I'm fine with that. But in major league baseball, they're banning hazing. Now hazing, let's be fair. We've talked about the douchebaggery of baseball players before on the show. We read stories all the time about dumb kids that hold down other guys and, you know, tea bag them as it were,

or whatever the hell it is they're doing. What What was the one they sodomized a guy? Oh God, you know, we keep reading about these stories and these guys it goes from hazing or bill ball busting Whatever into sexual crimes. It escalates very quickly in which case I'm like, okay Nobody should have to deal with that but on the other hand ain't nobody gonna hold my ass down unless you got a gun to my head or there's 17 of you pinning me down and Gonna sodomize me that ain't gonna happen. No, so so like grown ass men It shouldn't come down to that a grown ass men shouldn't be looking to sodomize somebody in the locker room anyway

But if so, like you have to walk up to someone and go listen I'm gonna sodomize you now, but it's only to make you part of the team You might walk with a little hitch in your giddy up for a couple of days afterwards, but man, you're going to feel like you're part of something special. Right? So I don't believe in grown ass men, bullying, grown ass men. That's the dumbest stuff I've ever heard. A grown man cannot be bullied by another grown man. That's number one. Now, if the guy's got a gun and he's robbing you, that's a different situation. Right? Your life is on the line. A guy's robbing you. A guy's got a gun and he's robbing you, that's a different situation.

Your life is on the line, a guy's robbing you, a guy's got you tied up, ISIS is going to cut your head off. That's not bullying, that's just a crime. Bullying between grown ass men does not exist. Now when you're on the playground and you're seven years old and the ten year old guy's 30, 40 pounds heavier than you and he's beating the hell out of you, that's maybe bullying. But there's no such thing as grown men bullying. But another thing that's going on in this is evidently you're not allowed to now dress

rookies up as women. Why? Evidently, it's offensive. It's been a rite of passage for Major League Baseball players for generations. Which again is stupid in itself. I understand that. But I mean, I'd like to know who complained about it. But who's getting hurt?

Nobody. Nobody. And who are you offending in this situation dressing guys up as women? Are you offending transvestites? Why? Like you know, Dr. Frankenford is so pissed that you did this. Like who's going to do it? Who's going to get angry?

RuPaul? Is RuPaul going gonna be offended? But in this new policy, it includes language that bans forcing rookies to drink alcohol or take drugs, which is fine, but no one can force you to drink anything you don't want to drink or eat or take anything you don't want to eat or take. That's number one. You're a grown-ass man. You know who got offended by them dressing up as girls? It's the guy that saw Carlos Correa come out with a wig and a dress like, boy she's pretty, and then find out it's a dude. Now he's questioning himself so he complains to the league that he was

offended. Encouraging, taunting, or excessive exercise, coercing rookies to do things that are illegal or dangerous. They don't have to say yes. Like what's going to happen if the guy says no? I want you to bend over and I'm going to take my Louisville slugger. I'm spit on a little bit, little bit, not a lot. And I'm going to sodomize you with it, but it's going to make you a better teammate. Do you really think that's going to happen? Are you just going to stand there and go, OK, I really want to be part of the team? No.

You're going to say, no, I will not be sodomized by the butt end of the Louisville Slugger. Players may not engage in a pattern of verbal or physical conduct that is designed to demean, disgrace, or cause mental or physical harm to a member of his club. These people are schmucks. Listen, part of growing up and part of life

is that sometimes people are gonna make fun of you. Sometimes people are gonna say things you don't wanna hear. Sometimes people are going to insult you. How can you enforce this? Is it as simple as if a guy on the other team says, God, you're so stupid? I don't consider myself stupid. I am not stupid.

Like what are you allowed to say in there? But here's the best part. I love how they're getting out in front of a problem that isn't there. Although it hasn't happened, you could sort of see how, like someone might even dress up in blackface and say, oh no, we were just dressing up. We've also understood that a number of players have complained about it.

How many players is a number of players? That's what I'd like to know. How many players is a number? And why do you just automatically go to the, well, we got us a bunch of racists in here and the last thing we need is guys in blackface? Like how do you go to that level? So you go from guys wearing dresses on a team flight to, well, somebody might go all Al Jolson on them.

Oh no. Like, how exactly does it come down to that? Like, how do you get to that level from, well, we're wearing dresses today, but who knows, maybe tomorrow, blackface? Like, to me, this is embarrassing for Major League Baseball. And if I were a player in Major League Baseball, I'd be embarrassed by this, because basically what you're being told

is that you're a terrible person and that you're going to end up in blackface pretty soon because you're just that awful. Like, what happens next? Do we end Powder Puff games? I'm offended that they try to portray women as football players on Powder Puff week in high school. I'm offended. No more football than that. I'm offended by this, because what would you, like, you know, sometimes you do this, like the guys will

dress up as gals for powder puff or whatever, right? Or like a fake beauty pageant. We got to stop that too. My theory is this and it will remain this. You cannot be bullied if you're a grown ass man. It may hurt your feelings. Fine. We get our feelings hurt sometimes. But you cannot be bullied if you are a grown up. Another man cannot force you to do anything you don't want to do unless he's got a gun to your temple. Is that that hard to understand? Like the Richie Incognito thing was such a joke, an absolute embarrassment that that

even happened, that it became a national story. Like think about this for a second. We were at a point where the headlines in the paper were grown men, grown man bullies another man. Not grown man shoots man dead in the streets. Not grown man rapes woman. Something like legitimate scary crime. It was grown man bullies another 350 pound grown man. That cannot happen because that's not a real thing. It's a farce. The whole thing's a farce. So I'm not all about going out just doing offensive things for the sake of them.

But for a hundred years baseball players do stupid things to each other and the world seems pretty okay. So you put in this kind of vague rules in here. Oh, we can't be mean to anybody and you can't say anything bad about anybody and you can't wear dresses and certainly we're assuming this is going to lead to blackface. So way to go, way to lump all the white guys in there and just assume we're all horrible people. Like that's the worst part.

Like if I were a white guy that plays baseball, I'd be appalled by this because all you're saying is you're not saying that any other player is gonna do anything bad, but white guys are gonna put on blackface. That's insulting. The majority of your league is white players, white and Hispanic players. There aren't a lot of black baseball players, right? There's a lot of guys who have black skin, dark skin, brown skin, whatever, but American-born black players are scarce. It's mostly white, Dominican, Puerto Rican, all that. I think it's completely farcical to come out and openly say, well, blackface could end up happening. So you're just insulting white people and saying, yeah, we know we got us a bunch of deadbeats in there. They're going to put

blackface on. Go to hell. Go to hell, baseball. God, if you want to get in 713-212-5790 bullying among adults. You cannot be bullied by another grown man. Hey why don't you bend over and how about I come over there. Hey you want to be part of the team. Yeah I want to be part of the team. What do I need to do? You ever heard of an Eiffel Tower? Well, we're going to do that to you. All right, you got that? Sound good? All right then. No grown ass man is going to sit there and let some guy sodomize him.

My God. Unless you're a girl. No. 713-212-5790. I'm channeling Les Miles. 713-212-5790. We've got two lines open. We've got people that want to talk about guns and bullying.

How are we at a point where bullying is a topic for grown men? It's embarrassing. It's the Josh Ennis Show. Stay there.