The Josh Innes Show - JIS Classic: Josh and Rich Continue To Make Fun Of Doug Gottlieb

Episode Date: June 11, 2025

Apparently this bit continued for another segment. This was actually a much better radio show than I remember lol Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It's the afternoon show that has everyone talking. Welcome back to JNR on Houston's Sports Leader, Sports Radio 610. All right, so we were talking about the new CBS Sports Network that's going to be on 650 starting in January, and we have to play these little vignettes, these little 60-second little what they're called sports minutes. But Doug Gottlieb earlier today in one of them just sounded like the most depressed human being in the world and someone that hates everyone But it did have a peppy upbeat jingle, which was nice. Just so everybody that's calling in to win these Sam Houston versus Steven F Austin tickets knows can you run a little bit of the Doug Gottlieb for us just to kind of signal what we're looking

For here in the game. All right, fire it off. I'm Doug Gottlieb with this CBS Sports Minute. As you head into work today and summer is now behind you, let me be the bad guy and let you know that there are things that no one except you cares about. So save me your slideshow about your unbelievable summer vacation. He doesn't care. It's a place I cannot afford or simply don't want to go.

Don't share with me pictures of you and your kids and the wacky things you all do together on a family road trip. Because your kids are ugly. I've been on family road trips. They're miserable. Pictures cannot deceive me. And whenever you do, please do not involve me in talks about your fantasy football draft. I get it.

I got a couple teams. I hate all of you. But unless you can search your soul for a single, solitary reason that I should give a second thought about your thoughts, about your PPR league and a guy which you stole in the seventh round will help you take home the cash, save it. And I will save you from ruining a friendship. And screw off, Doug Alley.

So that's what we're looking for here. We need you to be at least, we need about ten seconds at least. You can't just be like two lines and then done. Yes. About ten seconds you need to be the most negative sounding person in the world, very down. We're going to hit the bed and then we're going to hit the jingle and we're going to keep you all on hold and we're going to pick the best and the best will get Battle of the Pineywoods tickets okay? Let's start at the top. top Andrew and Stafford what's going on buddy? Hey, how are y'all doing? Good you get the concept of the game? Yeah I think I got it I'm about ready to go. All right now you so you're good to go do you go to either Sam Houston or Stephen

F? You know full disclosure I don't care about either of them I just wanted to get on the radio and make you laugh Josh Josh. Well good. Well, nothing wrong with that. Well, nothing wrong with that. Amuse me. Alright, here we go. Fire off the music and when you hear the music, go ahead, okay Andrew? Alrighty. Alright, go ahead, fire it off. Here we go.

I'm Doug Gottlieb here with your CBS Sports Minute for kids. Mom and dad fighting all the time, it's probably your fault. That pony you wanted for Christmas that you just couldn't live without, well the reason you didn't get it is because they don't love you. That divorce they're getting, your fault too. Razors are in the kitchen drawer, kids.

Doug Golly, CBS Sports Radio. ["CBS Sports Radio"] ["CBS Sports Radio"] That's pretty strong. Andrew, that was big time. That's pretty strong. All right, hold on. That is quite the opening salvo. All right, was big time. That's pretty strong. All right, hold on. That is quite the opening salvo.

Look at all the lines dropping with people who have no chance to surpass that. They're all like, it's like Kramer. I'm out. I'm out. All right, so we've only got two other people because one guy dropped because Andrew pretty much owned it. Let's see here. Shelley! Yes.

Hey, how are you? I'm not good. Why is that? I've got a scorching, scorching case of PMS. And the world sucks. I think she thought we already started. No, not yet Shelley Shelley. Hold tight. No, that's true.

Wait for the music. You get the concept of the game, it's all right, Shelley. I do. I do. All right, now hold tight. You gotta wait till you hear the music, okay? Okay. At first I thought you were just really angry. By the way, you're scaring the hell out of me, Shelley. All right, we're playing the Doug Gottlieb game here for the CBS Sports Minute.

Alright, here's what I need you to do. Whenever you hear the music, go ahead and start, okay, Shelly? Yep. Alright, fire it off, Johnny. This is the dumb, Gottlieb, scorching case of PMS Hawk Radio Show, which I don't give a crap about. I just want tickets. I'm sick of the people smiling at me when I give them my money.

I don't care. I woke up with a zit on my nose. I've got gout in my feet. I'm tired of people being happy. Why can't you all feel as sad as I feel? So there's your sports update. Have a She mentioned gout. Shelly, hold on. How much of that was true? This is not going to be easy. Shelly, how much of that was true? None of it. Hold tight, okay? You're the best.

We'll let you know if you want. This is good. This is like American Idol. And gout is nasty, I'm told. From what we've been told by 80 year olds gout can be really nasty. I agree, Chirp. Alright, let's see here. Justin, what's going on? What's going on, brother? Not too much. You listen to the show often? I do, all the time. Great. You get the concept of the game then? Oh man, I just been waiting to actually give my chance. But these two

already are weird. They got me nervous over here. I mean, this is almost like a rap battle and what just happened was one was Eminem and one was Jay-z So you're gonna own it you're gonna you're gonna have to be big time here You got to lose yourself in the music the moment. Okay, I got you Alright, whenever you hear the music go ahead and make sure you end it with or something like I'm Doug Gottlieb So we know when to hit the jingle. Okay Alright, here's the start of the music Go ahead. This is Doug Godley here and I just woke up this morning. I'm just really, really, really don't know why I just woke up this morning.

Every time I hear everybody talking about they woke up this morning, it's just terrible. Me personally, when I woke up, I wish God wouldn't have ever opened my eyes, looked me in the face and said, wake up, Doug Godley. I don't even want to wake up anymore. Now I just feel terrible that I even got up. This is Doug Gowley reporting that I have the worst morning. Honorable mentions. Honorable, yeah.

You're a, what's the third ribbon? Not blue or? Second runner up. Yeah. So we're just gonna let you know, Justin, that you didn't win, so we're just gonna hang out now. We might send you a cozy. Yeah, if we still have those.

But it was nice talking to you. We're just gonna go ahead and call you a cozy. Yeah, if we still have those. But it was nice talking to you. We're just going to go ahead and call you a loser. You're basically like Honey Boo Boo in any pageant she ever entered. You were like, what would that be, like second runner up? I've got a lanyard with your name on it. But these Piney Woods tickets have to go to a real pro. You want to get one more, this one that's ranking? I do want to get one more. We said we do four. All right. Who are you? you hello who is this is hey it's Doug Gottlieb on a mobile got way to play along all right here's what we're gonna do you know the concept of

the game what's your actual name yeah hey John it's Josh and Rich hello all right so here's what we're gonna do we're gonna fire off the the jingle all right or the music and when you hear it just go with it. Okay Fire it off What's going on this is good golly not that I really care don't bother me with any of your answers Oh, you can give your kids a couple of Tylenol I'm about the whole bottle put a little sugar on it and some notes so they can have a lovely afternoon All right, this is the golly climbing off and I really don't care if you call me that

Well, did he say what I thought he said at the end there he said I don't care if you call me back Oh, okay. Okay. Call me back. All right. I'm gonna let you know you didn't win either All right So really we need to have a dug-off I think is what we need to have Andrew and Shelley are in a dead heat All right Now I want to know since this this they were both pretty much awesome if they can do it on the fly one more time I thought what about a J&R jingle to decide it? No, because we don't have the J&R jingle You see what I'm saying? It has to be just something really depressing. Okay, you see what I mean?

Because there is no J&R jingle at the end of it hey Andrew Andrew hung up oh he's conceded to Shelly either that or his boss walked in the room that's embarrassing I gotta go guys bye bye Shelly hey you're awesome hey Shelly describe yourself yes what do you look like shelly uh... five-five uh... white or presently plump as some people call it i'm blind i'm blue-eyed uh... and

it happily happily happily in love with the wonderful wonderful man so i keep a smile on my face all the time however wonderful man so I keep a smile on my face all the time. However, I have been a beotch in a former life. Wow, did you call yourself plump? Pleasantly plump. Pleasantly plump. In high school were you known as the Bayou bowling ball? You know what I was known as is the girl with big boobs. You know there are far worse things to be known for because I'm known as the guy with big boobs. What?

Which is really odd. We have that in common. Well, I don't have that anymore. I had that surgically altered. You had breast reduction? I did. You're going to hell. Do you have a number for Josh?

What he's saying is I have big boobies. Is what he's saying actually. No, but like, messing up your body in that way will cause God to shun you. Well, you know what? I never had a man look at me in the face until I had that done. And a whole different class of men asked me out once I had that done. And I'll bet your back pain's gone. Well, my pride is better.

How's that? There you go. So since you're plump, were they like fat girl boobs? No. When I say plump, I just mean I could stand to lose pounds. I'm not. Wait, did you just say I could stand to lose how many pounds? 20 or 30 pounds.

Yes, I did. We all could. Except Rich. Yes, I did. Especially John. But I'm just as cute as can be. Shelley, you know what though? Shelley, you win. How about that? Oh absolutely. You win. I went to the game last year and all my friends it was awesome! Shelley do you have a connection to the Piney Woods? Ummm... Sorta. Alright then hun! Be good! Hang on!

No actually here's what we gotta do. One time. Shelley, we gotta do this one time. Let's pretend like this is fake. This is FM radio, okay? Is what we're gonna pretend like. So I want you to call, I want you to just say, hey what caller am I? I'm gonna say, you're caller 10, you're going to the Ballot Party, and

then you got to go nuts, and then we're gonna hit the jingle, okay? And I'm gonna say, what's your favorite station? We're gonna go FM radio with it, okay? You ready? When you say, wait a minute, when you say, what's my favorite station, I say what? I think you say sports radio 610. Well, I thought you said I'm supposed to say FM. Well, no, we're pretending that we're on FM radio, okay? Well I thought you said I'm supposed to say FM. Well no we're pretending that we're on FM radio okay? So here we go. Alright just get ready for it okay? Hey Shelly! Hey what caller am I? You are caller number 10! You're going to the battle of the piney wood! Yeah! Shelly! What's your favorite radio station? Oh my gosh, I can't believe it! I won! I won! I won!

Big Ben! Big Ben! Big Ben! Hey Shelly, you're going to the Battle of the Piney Woods! Hang on! Boy, she played along. Where's the liner? Where's the jingle? Wow. Imagine if she's in her cubicle at the office right now. Hold on Shelly, give me one more, give me like one more crazy reaction. Ready? You won, Shelly! Yeah! What's your favorite radio station?

Hang on! Alright, we gotta go. We gotta go. Oh, generally when I have fun during the show it means we're gonna get yelled at. Alright, we gotta go. We gotta go. Generally when I have fun during the show it means we're gonna get yelled at. So I've had a blast. Alright Shelly you won so hang on. What was that John? You got Doug Gottlieb on line one? I am Doug Gottlieb. Josh and Rich you both have AIDS. So, so Gottlieb is not gonna be joining us for March Madness then this year? Doubtful.

Oh well. Okay. I'm gonna cry myself to sleep tonight on my huge pillow. So, who is handling afternoon drive on the new network that's gonna start kicking our ass very soon? Might be Doug Gottlieb though. He is. Doug Gottlieb's PM drive? I was joking. No. Funny enough, you sayb though, he is. Doug Gottlieb's PM Drive? I was joking. No. Funny enough, you say that, they weren't. Yeah. Wow. Believe he's Fordus. Whatever he is.

Alright, so we gotta get moving here. Wow. Alright.