The Josh Innes Show - JIS: Crock Pots, ASG, Dopey Fans

Episode Date: July 20, 2022

Josh Innes and Jilly open the show discussing Jilly's new crockpot. She loves it. It's magical. Joe in Philly asks Josh if he's listened to the new Kevin Nash podcast. Josh feels the wrestling podcast bubble has popped. It's the same stories over and over. Jilly mocks Josh for also telling the same stories over and over. Josh didn't watch the All Star game but knows it was boring. What are the best seats to watch a baseball game? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Terms and conditions apply. Visit bmo.com slash theiporter to learn more. Hello, friends. It's Josh and Julie, and we have to tell you about Dr. Busby and toegrips.com. That's toegrips.com and our friend Dr. Busby. She is the best. She's a veterinarian, of course. She wouldn't just lie to you. It's not like it's a myth, not like she's like Dr. Jill Biden or something. She's a real-life doctor or Dr. Johnny Fever or any other fake doctor. Dr. Busby is legit, and she'll take great care of your pups by giving you information on her website. You can check out the blogs. Just go to toegrips.com, and there'll be a blog for anything involving your dog. But also, you can check out the blogs. Just go to toegrips.com and there'll be a blog for anything involving your dog.

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This is the Josh Ennis his show howdy everybody and welcome in to the josh in his shoe it's josh and jilly today glad you guys are with us on this wednesday jilly said she's feeling frisky and might want to do a drinking show on friday on twitch or for everybody she was mentioning this maybe so she's feeling frisky and she may. Convince me. Yes, please. Yes, sell Jilly on it. Sell Jilly on a Friday drinking show.

You get to get drunk with your friends. There's the selling point. I mean, we're not lying. The people that stick around with us the longest on these drinking shows are legitimately just our friends. No, that's true. But I thought it worked out kind of nicely because I think the Astros play at like 9-something

so we could do a little pregame Strohs again. Yep. That was always fun. I'm down. Let's do it. So Friday, probably we're going to be doing a drinking show and having a good time doing that. Especially if you can come home from work and take a nap again. That would be ideal. Last Friday was nice. It was.

It was a nice time. Hell, it's already damn near Thursday. It's basically Thursday. Also, what are we drinking for this drinking show? I think I'm burned on Coors at the moment. I've had a lot of Coors the last couple weeks. I like to plan ahead. What if we did a mixed drink party? We get some Topos.

No, no mixed drinks? That's too complicated for Twitch. So no mixed drinks. You'll be making drinks every three minutes. That's true. So we need beer or seltzers or something. Don't want to do wine. Wine on Twitch doesn't go well. Then you mix it

with the shots and it's a whole damn thing and I don't want any part of that. And I also think we might need a new bottle of Sammy. I kind of want, I miss the Blanco. We did read in our fantastic show prep sites that apparently the alcohol that gives you the least chance of a hangover

is Tequila blanco. Then I guess we've got to go buy more Sammy. So we definitely need more Sammy. Yep, it's official. We've got to go to the liquor store and get some more Santo. I've got a bunch of bottles. You know, I've got, like, the Santo and the black bottle, but it's empty. That's the mezquila.

But that's empty. So I guess what that means is we're going to have to go to the liquor store if we're going to have a big party and doing shots. And you know when our kids get frisky, they start throwing in the Donos, and before you know it, we're doing 15 shots in a row. So we may as well do the shots that give us the least chance of having a hangover on Saturday. Maybe we'll get some Luke Bryan beer and tequila. That sounds like a party.

Okay, I'm down. Let's do that-ish. Luke Bryan beer and tequila Friday Twitch be there it's coming up before you know it because it's basically Thursday so we're ready to go I just got my teeth cleaned so that's why I'm kind of

actually Jilly just started doing blow so she's just in here doing this non stop they put that fluoride coating on it so it's just kind of like a weird well the weird thing about getting your teeth cleaned is when the bottom teeth get all the gunk cleaned out of it, and you feel like your teeth have holes in it. One time I asked that, I was like, why are there holes in my teeth? They say, no, friend.

That's actually how your teeth are supposed to feel when they're not filled up with all the gunk that's stuck in between your teeth. Cleaning the bottoms is the worst, too. That's the worst part of the cleaning. There's the front bottoms in there. Yeah. And then they have to go, actually, the worst part of the cleaning is the very end when they take the dental flaws

and they, like, go all the way back into your mouth and stuff. Well, that doesn't bother me. See, that bothers me more than it should. It's the picking at the front of the bottom teeth. But anyway, I do have two cavities, if anyone's wondering. They're small, so we're going to get them taken care of before they explode into, like, root canal murder death. So a portion of Friday's donos will go to Jilly's fillings.

So Jilly's got to get to her cavities filled. So Friday we will be raising funds and doing shots. Joe in Philly kicks things off on the chat today. I saw two reports yesterday. One stating beer doesn't dehydrate you, and one that said ice cream doesn't actually refresh you if you're hot. Point being, the experts are all frauds. Ice cream is not refreshing if you're hot. That's actually a fact. It's tasty, but it's heavy and it's dairy. There's no reason why dairy would refresh you if you're hot. It's also high maintenance because if it's super hot,

today it's super hot outside, that ice cream would melt in three seconds and then it's a mess and it's all over your shirt. Well, you did that last week. I know. We got ice cream and like there's just ice cream. You get it in a cone and it's just dripping off of this cone onto your shirt. I really want to go back to that ice cream place, by the way. It was like on a farm. Yeah, it was. It's pretty awesome. Farm people know how to make good dairy products, and chocolate milk was fine, too, and very good. I'd like to go back, but it's too hot. Again, it's too hot to eat ice cream. So I guess I agree with that, that ice cream is not refreshing.

Well, it's not refreshing. Popsicles are refreshing. I saw an interesting piece of information about ice cream today that I would like to share with you. Only 16% of the people surveyed said that they eat ice cream when it's hot outside exclusively. So I put it this way. 16% of people only eat ice cream when it's hot outside. I think ice cream is good any time of year, but as we said, eating ice cream when it's hot outside is not refreshing. It's the same thing with Ron Burgundy. The milk was a bad choice. Then explain why ice cream would be a good choice in the heat. It's not. It's the same thing with Ron Burgundy. The milk was a bad choice. Then explain why ice cream would be a good choice in the heat. It's not.

It's basically fucking milk. We mock this, saying only 16% of people only eat ice cream when it's hot. Why do you think Rita's closes and some Dairy Queen's close and Tasty Free's close? Because obviously the business is not there in the winter. But there's still some. I mean, 16% isn't a huge percentage. 74% of people said they eat ice cream year round. So I think you take your chances with the 74%. I still think it's dumb. I like ice cream anytime of year. You want to tell me that just because it's November and it's a little chilly,

you don't want a gelati. You don't want a blizzard. You don't want a McFlurry. Of course you do. Like, do you just stop eating milkshakes or drinking milkshakes? Like, do you only eat soup in the winter? Fuck no. There's some delicious soups over at Publix. We had some last week. Yeah, it's hot as shit outside, but I'm sitting in the house. I'm not sitting out on the deck eating soup. I fucking love soup.

Also, we tried out the new Crock-Pot last night. Yes, we did. Good call, everyone. Speaking of food, the Crock-ck pot came through in a big way. And you can make tons of different soups in the crock pot. So I'm really looking forward to that. And I think the best part about the crock pot is it's pretty simple, Steve. It's pretty simple. Very simple. The whole process is very simple. All it is is you threw a pork loin in there.

I did. Two hours later, we have delicious barbecue pork loin. Now, it's a little overdone. You acknowledge that. We're learning. We're learning. You got to feel out your crock pot. You know, they're all different.

You got to feel out your loin. And you find these recipes online. You know, one person says do it for two and a half. I mean, that's their crock pot. Might be completely different than your crock pot. Yeah.

So a little trial and error, but I was pleased with the product. I thought it was good. The barbecue sauce came together nicely. We're going to do some lemon garlic chicken thighs in there this week. Very exciting.

Yeah, we got big plans. I also bought a new wok. Jilly, this thing is gigantic. Jilly is basically Asian now. Well, we have a stupid electric stove, and I hate electric stoves. The stove sucks. They're hard to clean. I hate them.

But we don't have a gas bill, so that's nice. But I got sick of the noodles and the rice and stuff just spilling over the edge of the pans. Yep. So I bought a fucking wok. So. We're ready to go. We got a wok. We got a crock pot.

Sorry, Luther. I mean, we are DTC. We are down to cook. Making some shrimp and salmon fried rice, a recipe you found on the Instagram tonight. What's funny about that is there was some pasta recipe that Battle was talking about today, and he just breaks the whole thing down, and I go, did you see that in a TikTok video? Bro, I did.

I was like, I saw the same TikTok video. I think it's the same guy that did the salmon and shrimp. It looks delicious. Yeah, maybe we'll do that one next. So we're down. On Friday night, we can also get a weigh-in to see if I've lost any weight this week. Spoiler alert, probably not.

We still need to get our damn dry erase board in here. We have two months to do that. Well, no, I thought it would be fun to start with your weight loss totals. We can cross off how much you lost every weight. Well, we'll see. I went to the gym for the third day in a row. So I told you, I'm trying to accomplish a streak. I don't know what my longest streak of days, like weekdays that I've gone.

Oh, there was a stretch. You probably went probably three weeks in a row. Well, you know what? I'm three days into it. My body hurts, but I'm trying to do better for myself. I'm trying to better myself from a health standpoint. So we'll see. And you also haven't gotten ice cream at all this week.

I have not. No ice cream here. Did I have a cupcake last night? Yep. But that's because I had to finish off the cupcakes I made Friday before I decided to make this lifestyle change. And now the cupcakes are gone. Now there's just a tub of frosting. I swear I will not put my finger in it. I'm going to throw that frosting away. And I will not dip my granola bar in that frosting. I swear that will

not happen. Joe asks, did you watch the first episode of Click This? That's the podcast with Kevin Nash. Here's the thing, Joe, and I sent you a message back with this same sentiment. I'm kind of burned out on the old wrestling shit. I think it's kind of hit its... I think everything you need to know about old wrestling has happened. What else can you say, I guess? Well, we watched the Goldberg thing on A&E. It's getting bad you know, everything that's coming up in a documentary, because you've heard it from 15 people on 15 different podcasts. Great for Conrad. The dude's found a way to become a good billionaire doing that. And I envy that and I admire it, but like the Eric Bischoff podcast, I love Eric Bischoff, right? It's literally the same shit. Like every episode is the exact same.

We've heard all the stories. How many times can you hear Eric Bischoff go, and I know I've said this many times, but here's this blank. You know, like I'm kind of just like I'm burned on it. So like I don't know what I can learn from Kevin Nash that I already haven't heard from Bischoff or DDP or Hogan or Jeff Jarrett or anybody else that has a podcast.

I'm just kind of burned on the wrestling podcast. I need to find something to listen to, and I can't drive around listening to our podcast. That would make me an asshole, so I can't do that. And I feel like they haven't done good episodes of my favorite podcast, How Did This Get Made, lately, and that's a great podcast where they watch shitty movies and they do live shows and talk about it. Problem is, some of the movies they've been doing are so bad and so irrelevant, I have no idea what they are and I haven't seen them.

Therefore, I don't get the references and it's not as funny to me. Speaking of shitty movies, who knew we did learn one thing last night. Yeah. We did learn that Goldberg met his wife on the set of Santa's Sleigh. Which was a classic. Absolute classic. So your podcast should do that one.

See, go, go, Gadget Wang. And if everybody wants to put in some comments, your camera, just kind of free-flowing today. It's a really shitty day, you know, news-wise. Nothing's happening.

The ESPYs are on. That's what's happening. That's what you need to know. Yeah. The ESPYs are on and the All-Star game happened last night. It was a fucking snooze.

Well, I guess that's unfair for me to say because I didn't watch it. The day after the All-Star game and the day that the ESPYs are on always fall on the same day. And it's always the worst day for anything because nothing, nothing happens. Correct. Go-Go Gadget Wang says, no, June ruined How Did This Get Made because she's a woke bitch. I think that's 100% wrong.

I think June is fantastic on there and I think she's funny and her laugh is great and her delivery is great. Now, here's what I do think woke culture hurt that show. And I'll tell you why. If you go back and you listen to some like 2012, 2013, 2014 episodes, I mean, they get fucking dirty and they shit on people and it's fucking great. Now it's not as great, but I think that happens with everything. I think over time things get worse and they get more mediocre and I get all that, but I think it's a good podcast. I still enjoy it when the right episode is on. Problem is they don't watch movies I give a shit about.

Roddy Richard says Eric Bischoff has talked about the formation of the NWO at least 100 times on his podcast. Here's the problem with 83 Weeks. Essentially, you've got like two and a half years of stuff to talk about. He's been doing the podcast for like four. So eventually you're going to run out. And then they start breaking down shit that really only nerds and battle and Joe would care about. Like shit like, you know, like impact wrestling. Like battle was on the air the other day. We're talking about wrestling and he starts talking about all this shit that

our audience has no clue about. I'm like battle. Nobody gives a the other day we're talking about wrestling and he starts talking about all this shit that our audience has no clue about i'm like battle nobody gives a fuck about impact wrestling or tna who gives a shit like that's what i feel like when i listen to half of these episodes of the bischoff podcast now is i don't give a shit about what you did in this throwaway tna that nobody watched and nobody cared about. So, I mean, like there was always going to be a limit to how good that podcast and how long it could sustain because Bischoff for as long as he's been in wrestling, his success window was very narrow and very short. That's why it's called 83 weeks. And like, there's some guys who's, I just don't care about their stories. Like, like Jeff Jarrett has a relatively new podcast. Do not give a shit about Jeff Jarrett

stories. Like I tried listening to DDP. He does a podcast with Jake, the snake. It's called the DDP snake pit. A lot of the shit, like, honestly, I'm just kind of grossed out by, uh, by Jake, the snake. Like he's just kind of a gross person, like just really kind of trashy and gross. So I'm not interested in that. And DDP, I feel like I've heard all his stories. I'm more interested in his weight loss stuff and his yoga than the wrestling stories. I've heard them all. So I feel like the wrestling podcast bubble may burst at some point. Because there's only so many times you can tell the same story over and over.

Like the time you went three for three from downtown? That is a quick reference. That is a joke. That is a, you know. Like the time you got hosed at 790? Again, you're not wrong about that, and I tried to avoid telling that story. Like the time Jim walked around with the ass while he was canning? Okay, again, those are just quick references.

That's all. Like the time your dad had a heart attack in Memphis? Okay, dad has heart attacks frequently, at least according to him. Julie, don't be a bitch. This is not the time to be a bitch. Like that time you had to email Mikey Miz? That did happen, yes. You're being a bitch.

You are. I didn't know that this was shit on Josh Day. I didn't know that we were going to come on here and talk to our audience today and it was going to become, hey, we're shitting on Josh. I thought we'd all gang up together and say, Josh, you're right. Wrestling podcasts have hit their apex. But no, it's shit on me day today. By the way, a lot of these motherfuckers ask those questions over and over and I answer them. JC says, I've been to multiple ECW events. They were epic. Eh. Eh. Go Go Gadget Wang says

Missanelli is coming back to some post game show on TV. I'm fairly certain that show is on YouTube. It's actually on the 6 ABC website. Okay, cool. Here's the advice I would have offered Mike Missanelli, right? If I had gotten whacked.

Whether I like the guy or not, and I don't, but the guy has had some level of success and some sort of cachet there, right? So my suggestion would have been go start a podcast. Go find some benefactors, some sponsors that will give you a grand a month or something. You could get 10 sponsors for this fucking thing. And before you know it, you're making 10 grand a month just doing a podcast. You're hot right now. I mean, you you're not hot but your name is in the news right now so like the idea that like you just got to run off and do a youtube post game show with

derrick fucking gun you also don't know like the the you know points in his contract like he may not be able to go after advertisers currently i don currently. Maybe this is a loophole because it's not on the radio. But I think that the way they ended things, it sounds to me like they wouldn't be pissed or they would be fine if he tried to get... Now, if it were on radio, I think it would be different. But on podcast... I don't know if they'll get sponsors, though. That's usually a big thing with those non-competes. Maybe, but I don't know what his contract is. Again, they let him have a last show usually that doesn't happen so maybe they were just like just get that we want you gone so badly they were going to fire some jamokes that we're

going to hire a bunch of jamokes that no one's going to listen to we're just so desperate to get rid of you we don't want you anymore we have a first time chatter flukier philly seven who listens every day on 105.9 says you're hilarious well thank, FlukierPhilly7, who listens every day on 105.9, says you're hilarious. Well, thank you, FlukierPhilly7. Appreciate you, buddy. Do you ever stream games, too? No. No, I don't.

I think you tried that once. I did. I failed miserably. You bought a headset and everything. Yeah, and it was awful. Also, you can't even get over it. You know who does stream games sometimes? Robert Bones.

I saw him doing that the other day. You also can't get on your PlayStation still. Yeah, that also makes it difficult because I don't have a PlayStation network account anymore because someone hacked it. So I do not have that. Let's see here. Would people listen to Miss Nelly's podcast? He's not relevant and was losing in ratings to Ike Reeves. Maybe.

I mean, I still look. Enough would. Enough people would listen to it where it'd be valuable. Well, here's a regret that I- Anytime anyone gets fired too, there's always going to be some sort of interest. Like, ooh, what's he going to say? Well, and then you didn't have to keep them, obviously. But like the problem is like one of my regrets is that I didn't just launch a podcast right after I got fired by WIP.

Well, you did the Facebook show. I did. And those things would get like 10,000 views. If I were getting 10,000 downloads per episode of this, I'd be just rolling in shit, right? Also, Eddie brings up we did stream Yahtzee. Oh, that's true. You know, we could actually start doing more of that. Like on occasion, if we want to show like a Sunday Yahtzee game and a battle for the Sunday Fun Day championship belt,

I could set up a camera out there and a laptop. Boom. You're watching Yahtzee game and a battle for the Sunday Fun Day Championship belt, I could set up a camera out there and a laptop. Boom. You're watching Yahtzee. That belt, that mini belt, I don't want people to get too excited thinking it's a whole giant belt. It's a mini. Yeah. But it's arriving Friday.

So for the weekend, there should be a Yahtzee Championship belt. Now, we can't play outside because it's going to be like 1,000 degrees again. Yeah. But perhaps we'll have to move that inside. You know, maybe what we do is we just set the game up right there on the corner of the table. Right? We sit right there. I'll put Luther's camera on the yachts.

We can get like a little snack tray and put it on there. Yeah. Boom. Then we got ourselves a party. But yes. Yeah, people love live from Josh's couch. Because it was a dude talking about getting fired and shitting on people. It's not like it was some sort of amazing content.

It was just me being pissed that I got fired and people love drama. But what I should have done in that moment is I should have been smarter and said, fuck it, just start a podcast. Have people subscribe to it. And then they'd be there forever. And who knows, in case you want to do it. We even had a home phone at that time. Dude, people would call and just talk to me on the on the phone so that'd be pretty cool but i didn't do that and i messed up on that but i would have had a bunch of people already built in as an audience and you know but again that happened seven years ago or

six years ago the podcast game six years ago is not what it is now like in philadelphia like this is why missanelli should have done this in Philadelphia. Any asshole could launch a podcast and make it about the birds and they'll get some downloads because Philly's a weird town. They don't know technology too well, but they know how to find fucking podcasts, especially if you have them pop up on Facebook. And if they pop up on Facebook,

McDougal will find it. And before you know it, like some jabroni that's hosting a fucking Eagles postgame podcast slash Facebook channel will at least get some viewership. I would argue, and I don't know this for a fact, this is just my opinion, but I believe from what I've seen that Philly might be the most prolific Facebook slash podcast town in America. And by that, I mean, you pump out a podcast about a team they like,

people will find it. So, man, but if I would have done that, like, damn. Speaking of, I know we don't want to spend too much on the ESPYs here, but apparently the ESPYs are sexist. Woke-ass ESPN, according to several women that were nominated for ESPYs, they were not invited to the award show. Oh, no, they didn't invite them. No.

And ESPN is saying it's because of COVID restrictions. Mm-hmm. Oh, I see. So, sexist-ass ESPYs. Well, I'd say they're lucky they even have Lady ESPY awards because no one gives a shit. ESPYs so sexist. Well, nobody gives a shit. So there's a 0% chance that like, hey, you know what?

Here's the thing. I have nothing against women's sports. I don't watch them, nor do I care about them. Right. But like people have pandered to you guys a lot, lady sports. So I think you should get over it. But we want to be paid like LeBron. No, honey, you cannot be paid like LeBron.

I'd like to be paid like Bobby Bones. Bobby Bones is on 300 radio stations that people hear. I'm on two, one of which I'm pretty positive no one hears. So if I walked in and said, I want Bobby Bones money, they'd say, well, why do you think you deserve Bobby Bones money because I'm on the radio and so is Bobby Bones yeah well but Bobby Bones is on 300 stations you're on one that has ratings and one that no one hears well but I'm on the radio and this isn't fair well that's not how it works friend you have to actually have an audience to get paid but we play basketball just like LeBron does.

Yes, he plays basketball that people watch. You play basketball that is subsidized by the NBA that no one watches. By the way, there are WNBA games, and I see this on the DraftKings app, that are happening at like 11 o'clock in the morning today. I don't think you're going to see an NBA game happening at 11 o'clock in the morning on a Wednesday. You will see WNBA that happens at 11 o'clock in the morning on a Wednesday. They didn't invite any of the ladies soccer players either, and they get paid just as

much as the men now, so sexist. Oh, no, no, no, no, no. To be fair, they do bring in some money. Well, look, fine. Like, why does the ESPY Awards exist anyway? Nobody gives a shit. Because there has to be something on between the end of the All-Star game and when baseball

starts again. So people can go back to not watching baseball when it resumes on Friday. Correct. Well, the Astros tomorrow, of course. You know, another thing about the All-Star game. So, I didn't watch a second of it, but I somehow bet on it and won on it. Figure that out.

Also, the fact that they gave the MVP to John Carlos Stanton and not Buxton, bullshit. Stanton tied the game. Buxton hit the go-ahead. Oh, but Stanton's from L.A. I bet on Buxton. You know what I like? Here's what I like about the All-Star game in baseball. In the NBA, you watch the All-Star game and each team scores 200 points.

And dudes are dunking and doing and-one type shit. And it's fun and at least it's wacky. Baseball's like, fuck you. We're not going to try to make our game more wacky. It will be just as boring in the regular season as it is in the All-Star game. They take it very seriously. So it's 3-2 in the all-star game. They take it very seriously. So it's three to two in an all-star game. All the runs were done being scored by the fourth inning.

So you had five innings of shit, boring baseball. They're kind of rooting for extra innings to see the home run derby, which would have determined the winner if it went to extras. But that didn't even happen. We got nothing. By the way, there is no way to fix baseball. I've always said we need to fix baseball. It's a game that doesn't lend itself to creating great dramatic moments.

LeBron will always be on the court at the end of a game, and so will Kobe, may he rest in peace. Or any big-time player will be on the court for an NBA team and has a chance to take the winning shot. There is no guarantee that your Don Alvarez or Jose Altuve gets to the plate in the bottom of the ninth in a one-run game. They might have just batted in the eighth and they're not going to come up again. There's no guarantee.

So on its own, baseball is a game that doesn't lend itself to having guaranteed excitement at the end of the game with the biggest-named players being up in the biggest spots. But as much as I love baseball, baseball is pretty much a boring game. So you're watching an all-star game and you're like, Hey, maybe something exciting is going to happen here. It's the all-star game. Do something wacky. Like the all-star game is where you should check out and try the weirdest shit. Like you should do a thing where if a fan catches a foul ball, it's an out at the All-Star game. You should put a fucking, like, make it like wacky golf is what you should do. You should have dudes with, like, a windmill out in the outfield,

and if it blocks the home run, it blocks the home run, and it's an out. Like, you should have a target out in the outfield, like a hittable target, a reachable target, and if it hits that, it's worth like five runs. Just try a bunch of dumb shit. But baseball takes itself too seriously for that. But you're going to have to because baseball is a boring fucking game. I like it, but it's boring.

So you're going to have to do something. So why not at the All-Star game? I think the All-Star game no longer determines who gets home field, right? So it's truly just an exhibition. It's a game that doesn't matter. So why not do a bunch of dumb shit? Try it out. Let dudes hit with metal bats.

Let dudes hit off a pitching machine. Have a pitching machine go out there and throw it 125 miles an hour right down the middle and see if a guy can hit it 600 feet. Why not? Let a fan go out and stand in center field and try to make a play. Do something stupid. And also you throw in the fact that a lot of the big-name guys weren't even playing. And I didn't watch one second of it.

But you managed to win a bet. I did. I looked at the live bet, and it was 2-0 National League in the fourth inning. And I said, you know what? I did. I looked at the live bet, and it was 2-0 National League in the fourth inning. I said, you know what? We're taking the American League run total over 2.5, and almost instantly back-to-back home runs, and it's done. The attendance numbers are still good for baseball.

Why do they have to do anything? Because you do. And also, numbers are fine for teams that are good. I'm guessing that in Kansas City and, well, we know in Oakland, in Arizona, a bunch of places where the team's terrible, people probably aren't going. And you're trying to grow. You could argue, why is the NFL trying to go to China or wherever?

Well, because they're trying to grow it. They're trying to find new revenue for it. Baseball is boring. I love it. I'm wearing the Astros shirt today. I love going to baseball games just to hang out and, you know, eat ice cream out of a helmet. That's a nice hole in your Astros shirt up there, by the way.

Yeah, I know. I like this shirt. I have very few shirts that fit, but I don't know how I got this hole in this shirt, but it's there. That means it's been worn. The shift will be banned next season. There will also be a pitch clock that will help a ton. Even the pitch clock doesn't phase me. Really what it does for me is like, I like, you know how I feel. The biggest thing I would try is I'm all about banning the shift. The shift sucks, right? And then I would stop players from throwing over by saying you only get one pickoff attempt

per plate appearance. You do that and you can't have guys throwing over 10 times, which is a waste of everyone's time. When 99.9999 with a little line over the last 9% of the time, nothing happens. Stupid.

Give the players firearms so they can shoot other you know what yolo go for it i'm all i'm get as wild let them play paintball do whatever the hell you want to do you know cindy newt said the salaries aren't going down like dudes who by and large are really unaccomplished like juan soto are turning down $450 million contracts. So the contracts are going to keep going up for baseball and they got to keep finding new places to generate that revenue. And I know that like the Dodgers have big TV deals and like there's a lot of teams like in the big markets with big TV deals. You know who doesn't have a big TV and media deal? The Astros. And those kind of teams will eventually get left behind financially. Speaking of financially, right?

So you look at this NIL shit, and I do think the NIL is going to absolutely destroy college football. Like, I'm just sitting back waiting for it. I think it was Lane Kiffin, and I know why he made this suggestion, because he's the coach at Ole Miss, and they don't have the same money as, say, Bama or LSU. I don't even know what kind of money LSU's got, But like Bama and A&M and those type of places. And he's like, hey, we need to put a salary cap on this. And you know what? He's right.

Yeah, he's not wrong with that. Because you got to. Because I know that the rule is supposed to be, or the spirit of the rule, is that these guys are not supposed to be lured to the school with the promise of money. It's supposed to be you get there and then you sign a deal with the local car dealership and make 20 grand. No, they're using this money, which you knew they wouldn't.

I don't blame them. They have found the loophole and they are finding ways to get there. That's why I don't blame the schmucks over at A&M. They found a loophole. They said, fuck it. We're going to go out and we're going to use this money

to lure these guys here and we're not breaking the fucking rules. We might have broken the spirit of the rule, but we didn't break the rule of the rule. So Lane is not wrong when he says, Hey, here's an idea, guys, let's put a cap on this. They should. I mean, you say, well, let the guys make their money. There's a salary cap in what? Basketball, the salary cap in the NFL. And like those are, those are pretty competitive sports football in particular. A lot of markets have a chance to win in the NFL. You know the sport they don't have a lot of chances to win?

Baseball. The only reason there's going to be more teams winning in baseball is because they're adding 15 playoff spots. Half the league's going to make the playoffs now. So I would totally, dude, I think they need to find a way to rein this in, or I do think it's going to really fuck up the game. I liked it better when we just knew people were cheating and they were paying people under the table.

That was better. Now it's just big. That's totally a business. And there's no amateur aspect, even like you're not even feigning amateurism now. And I like, it kind of just feels kind of gross to me. I know we've talked about it before,

but it feels gross to me. Like there is no attempt to even make it seem like, Hey, it's college athletics. No, it's a minor league system and baseball. Like a part of what made baseball interesting even before my time was that essentially four teams made the playoffs, the winner of the East and the inner, the winner of the West in each league. Now four teams is way too few. But when they went to the new wildcard system back in the mid-90s, that was a pretty solid system. Four teams from each. You like the one-game wildcard, too.

I do. You're a big fan of that. I am, because if you're not going to win your division, it should be a matter of, okay, then you get one chance to make it. Now I think they're going to do series and stuff. They're getting rid of the one-game, right? They're doing best two out of three. Luthi, come here, buddy. Anyway. What are you doing, They're going to do series and stuff. They're getting rid of the one game, right? They're doing like best two out of three. Luthi, come here, buddy. So anyway.

What are you doing, Luther? Well, it is hot in here. So anyway, among other things, there's a lot of stuff that, boy, it is hot in here. Boy, this room gets hot. And when you put these two lights on, of course it does. I mean, we're in here making magic. And with all the computer stuff, it's a small room. It's like 10 degrees hotter in here than Boy, this room gets hot. And when you put these two lights on, of course it does. I mean, we're in here making magic. And with all the computer stuff, it's a small room. It's like 10 degrees hotter in here than the rest of the house.

It is hot, though. And it's 115 degrees outside. It's pretty gnarly. I guess Beyonce has released her new track list for her new album. There's nothing I care less about than new Beyonce music. One of the songs is called America Has a Problem. Yeah, the problem is you make shitty music now. America was a lot better when you were making happy music. Oh, she's naked on a horse on the cover.

And I think that looks stupid. You know what she looks like? She looks like Deshaun Watson's lady. Kind of. Deshaun Watson's lady, bless her heart. You watch her TikTok, just her bouncing her ass while she's cooking eggs. Well, it got her rich. If I had the ass to bounce around while I'm cooking eggs i guess i would do it too like i'm

curious if they're still together because they used to like each other's videos all the time and posts and stuff and now like she doesn't like his he doesn't like hers remember how great beyonce used to be she was awesome now it's like whatever i don't care about your shitty music anymore i was at the gym yesterday day two of of the three in a row I've been there. And one of the gals in there was talking about how much she likes Taylor Swift. And I was like, all right, you have my attention. I'll jump into this conversation. I said, you know what?

I like older Taylor Swift, but like new shit is awful. She's like, oh, I disagree. I think it's so great. I'm like, so you like this like sweater shit? Like, oh yeah, it's so good. Like, okay, you're stupid. Her new shit sucks. It's awful. But I was talking about like, the red tour and all these these were great and they're

like that's good too but this is really great like no it's not it's shitty let's see here here's another one for you jilly first of all do you have the list of the nominees for the uh espy oh there's like 600 it's not even worth it is deshaun nominated for anything i don't think so best ejaculation on a massage therapist. And he's just nominated for five of the 40 times he ejaculated on women. Like best athlete in men's sports is Steph Curry,

Aaron Rodgers, Shohei Otani, and Connor McDavid. Well, I'll tell you that Connor McDavid won't win. They're not going to let a white hockey player win an ESPY. Come on. Unless it was just a hockey specificspecific award. Then there's the best breakthrough athlete, which is Trinity Rodman of the Washington Spirit. Well, I don't know who you are.

Eileen Gu, who's a skier. Jonathan Taylor of the Colts. And Ja Morant of the Grizzlies. Well, the answer should be Ja Morant. I can't get into a breakdown of the fucking ESPYs. No, it's really ridiculous. I can't get into a breakdown of the fucking house. No, it's really ridiculous. I can't. But that would be something if Deshaun Watson were just nominated five times for five of his ejaculations. Well, maybe, but he also didn't play any football, so I don't think he's eligible.

No, but he ejaculated. Well, this isn't the porn awards. Maybe he'll be nominated for those. Oh, at the AVNs. Yeah. Yeah, so they should have a special trophy. Like, most frequent loads. Like, that should be an avn award

like right by like best blow job and best three-way scene and best lesbian scene and best blumpkin scene or whatever the hell it is they do there should be a special one like like like it should be a lifetime achievement award no it's gonna be a special award that'd be great it's like the deshaun watson most comes award like lifetime a common award is what it should be and yep i yep that solved it at the avian awards and the most come or it might be a year like it'll be a yearly thing like the most ejaculate in one year so the most spunk award goes to and then like boom that person gets the award and it's named after Deshaun Watson I think that that would be legit I think that would do it I don't know the trophy would look like a fleshlight

obviously oh that'd be awesome I'm here for that here's one so according to fan tracks the best baseball seats where do you think the best seats are people for it to watch a baseball game in the stadium what would you consider the best seats in the house well according to 28 of those who voted it's right behind the dugout which i disagree with completely really oh i think but dugout seats suck like i think most of the seats in the lower bowl suck unless you're right behind home plate. For the most part, the further you go down the baselines, the harder it is to see the batter, and it's also harder to determine which direction the ball is going. Our seats, our season tickets for the Astros were fantastic.

Those are the best seats you can get. Maybe if we were a little bit lower, like if we were, you know, maybe a section below, but you get to see the whole field. Like, part of the reason I don't like going to sporting events is you don't get the same view as you get when you're watching on tv sitting behind home plate where we were in the 300s we were in like 318 i think row two seats one and two god those were awesome seats those were great your boy used to be flush with cash yo and i used to have season tickets he's just give them away like i'm willie wonka putting golden tickets and candy bars But those seats were great because you could see everything

kind of play out. You could see the play develop. You can see where the ball's going to go. You can see the outfielders, and that'll help you determine whether or not it's going to be a home run or not. We were basically in the press box. Those were amazing seats. Down the baseline suck. I hate those seats. And it's harder to catch a foul ball back there now because they put up those nets. So it's tougher. Now, number two was to watch the game on a big screen on your couch, but I don't count that.

Behind home plate, 21%. Club level, 11%. Out in the bleacher, 6%. Way up in the upper deck, 3%. And at the bar with your friends, 4%. I sat in the first row of the bleachers for Game 5 of the World Series in 2013, right there in the front row, baby. That's really the only way to sit in that section,

to sit in the outfield, to sit in the very first row. Otherwise, not really a great experience out in the bleachers either but if you're going to go to a bunch of baseball games it's fun to move around you know just see different angles like i don't mind sitting out in the bleachers if it's just one game you bounce around you like to see seats from everything when we used to just get in with our um our passes with our media passes to the astros we would just sit wherever there were open seats it was great sometimes they would stop you though if you tried to go down to, like, the good seats. Yeah, but if you had a credential and it wasn't a big crowd.

But I guess one of the cool parts about baseball is there are so many games, and there are a lot of games where there aren't huge crowds, so you can just sit wherever the hell you want. No, you can't. Remember that one story? I've seen this happen multiple times. I'm talking about, like, with our credentials. Oh, I thought you meant just, like, you could move around.

Like, they don't let you move around. Like I remember this one family was sitting in like the lower bowl, like decent seats, not like behind home plate or anything. It's like a dad and a mom and like five kids and the stupid ushers. Some of these ushers just have way too much power. They're like, nope, you got to get out of here. Like, okay, there's nobody at the

ballpark. It was like a day game against the Mariners probably. And it's like, nope, you got to go sit all the way back up there. Like, okay. There's like, let the kids sit down here. Like, come on. Yeah. I'm with you. That's dumb. Oh boy. So anyway, who do I need to tell them about, Julie? Aqueduct Plumbing. Aqueduct Plumbing Company. That is Billy and his sister, Mary, and they are the best. We absolutely love them at Aqueduct Plumbing Company. They are in Houston, so if you're in the Houston area, give them a call. 281-488-6238. 488-6238,

with a 281 before that. 281-488-6238. Of course, they do it all. Repipes, leak detection, camera inspection, plumbing fixtures, water heaters, tankless water heaters, water filters. They do it all for you, and they kick ass. So reach out to them if you need any work done. And Billy's a good dude. He's been with us for a long time. We truly appreciate him. It is our friend Billy and Mary over at Aqueduct Plumbing Company, AqueductPlumbingCompany.com.

They are at your disposal. Also, this is an outrage that our show prep people miss this birthday today what's that today is the birthday of the great steven adams really that those sons of bitches yeah i would like to show you guys the biggest loser in the world for those of you who are watching on the old uh the old television here this guy is trying to get justin verlander to autograph his baseball have you seen seen this one, Jilly? Yeah. God, what a fucking dope.

I mean, that guy right there has to be swimming in pussy. I mean, like, he's beating him off with a stick. He's like, no, ladies, sorry. I've only got so much dick to go around. It's all these kids in the front row, too, and this guy's just, like, pushing them away. He actually pushed the, look at this. I know.

Wow, he pushes this fucking kid. Watch him. Yeah, he elbows him. He's like, dude, come on, man. He's like, no, fuck you. I know. Wow. He pushes this fucking kid. Watch him. Yeah, he elbows him. He's like, dude, come on, man. He's like, no, fuck you. I'm trying to get my ball signed, bro. Come on, bro. Like, imagine, like, my guess is, like, everybody swipes whatever direction you're supposed

to swipe on the sex apps for this guy to fuck. I know nothing about the sex apps. And you know this guy's just trying to sell that ball. He doesn't give a fuck. Absolutely. And if Verlander signs this guy's ball, I will lose respect for him. Like, Kate standing there, looking good, by the way. No, she looks great.

Kate should be like, hey, she should have taken that guy's ball and thrown it. That's what she should have done. What a fucking tool. Oh, my. What a dope this guy is. Like, he's literally, like, fighting with this kid, jockeying for position to get Verlander to sign a ball while wearing a fucking

jersey and a Padres hat. Did Verlander sign? Please, Verlander, don't sign it. Well, I mean, when you're in the moment too, I'm sure you're not looking. And he's holding two baseballs. This guy is no doubt going to sell that shit on eBay. What a toolbox this guy is. I don't think you can blame Verlander for that one. You're just in the

moment like, alright, sign, sign, sign, move on. I don't think he's really paying attention to what's happening. I think they know. They know when some guy's a toolbox. Like, that guy's a total toolbox. Mr. Verlander, I'm a poon hound. Sign my ball, bro. Dude, I'm swimming in pussy, bro. This is going to be given away as a consolation gift to the chick. I don't

fuck. I'm going to reward one chick with the deed tonight and the other one gets an autographed Verlander ball. God, what a tool. Like, that's an adult man. What a sad adult man you are, sir. Very. Winner with upper management says BS Moose 790.

Totally. This guy's, he owns the the company he is a big timer right there ah anyway was there was one more oh here's one for you let me give you this and then i will i will we will go our separate ways friends so you know how i feel about raccoons they are frightening oh yeah well in the mean streets of philadelphia if you don't have to worry about getting mugged or shot, well, there are raccoons. And some folks were filming these raccoons. Like, why? Why were you filming raccoons?

Because they're dumb McDougals. So they're... Here we go. So there the raccoons are. They're like, oh, they're so cute. Okay. Adorable raccoons. It is relevant.

I would hit it with some soap and water when you get home. When you get home. And then the dude just gets attacked. Hold on, let me play the audio again. Here you go. Robbers. Look at that one. Hang in there.

Oh, my God. He bit me. He bit me. He bit me. It is relevant. McDougal, way to go, Broham. That raccoon was probably a Cowboys fan. No doubt that he was a Cowboys fan.

Way to go, McDougal. Like, leave it to McDougal to get bitten by a raccoon. Now, or like Lance Berkman. Like, I would assume he might get bitten by a raccoon. But McDougal to get bitten by a raccoon? Or like Lance Berkman. I would assume he might get bitten by a raccoon. But McDougal as well. Who do you think pulls more pussy? Padres hat Verlander ball guy or Jeter? Is that really a question? No. It was not a real question. I didn't think so anyway all right we're getting out of here we'll see you guys later