The Josh Innes Show - JIS: July 4th, Astros Rule, A Business Idea

Episode Date: July 5, 2022

Josh Innes and Jilly open the show discussing the Astros back to back walk off wins. Josh really misses Minute Maid Park. Also, our dynamic duo is doing Jell-O shots. Josh and Jilly give a breakdown of the Def Leppard, Motley Crue, Poison show. Josh has a perfect business plan to pitch to Vince Neil. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hello everybody! It's Josh and Jelly gonna tell you about Dr. Busby and ToeGrips.com. It is ToeGrips.com with our friend Dr. Busby. Of course, Dr. Busby has all the answers to everything you need. Like today is July 4th. This information will not benefit you at all if you're listening to this after July 4th. It will not benefit you until after or the next July 4th. But, she had a whole little blog post today about how, or at least it was a Facebook post about how 4th of July and dogs don't necessarily mix well. So I was reading that today, but Dr. Busby always has the answer for everything. She's always got something,

any information you need, Dr. Busby's got you covered. So all you need to do is go to toegrips.com and again, read the blogs, no ads, again, read the blogs. No ads. You're not going to be bombarded with ads. You're not going to be ambushed by ads. Nobody needs that garbage. But there's great information on the site, and you can always check out toegrips.com. That is toegrips.com. The promo code is Luther if you make any purchases.

That's L-U-T-H-E-R. So somebody reached out to me the other day. They're like, hey, I made a purchase at toGrips.com, but I forgot the promo code. How do you forget the promo code? The promo code is Luther. It's L-U-T-H-E-R Luther. It'll save you 10%. But Dr. Busby is just awesome. We love her. And if you did order and you're like, this person forgot the promo code, at least then go leave a review and say, hey, I heard about it with Josh and Jilly, and that would help too. And that worked because that's what they said.

They showed me the screenshot of the receipt and how they said, hey, I heard about it on the Josh Ennis show. So thank you. Everything at ToeGrips.com, 10% off. If you use the promo code LUTHER, he takes the Encore Mobility, of course. A lot of dogs need the ToeGrips. It's just an awesome site.

And Dr. Busby rules, and it's great, and we love her. It's just an awesome site. And Dr. Busby rules. And it's great. And we love her. And we love everybody associated. Mr. Dr. Busby. We've talked about this before, but I think we should do it. Because we haven't had Dr. Busby on with us in a while. Yeah.

Like, maybe we should order the do-it-yourself nail trimmer. And just try it. And then maybe she could help us through it. Maybe. Like, live things. Maybe. Show how easy it is. Because, like, there are times when his nails are super sharp.

Only, like, one or two are. Yeah. And it's not really worth going to the PetSmart and paying $30 for like one nail. So it would be really nice to know how to trim them ourselves. Well, maybe we're going to have to do that. But it's ToeGrips.com, promo code Luther. That saves you 10%. We love Dr. Busby.

ToeGrips.com. This is the Josh and his show. Hello, friends. Happy Independence Day, 4th of July. Anybody who's out there and says, it ain't independence because I can't do no fuck you. It's Independence Day, baby. No, my favorite are the people, and I've seen quite a few of them,

that have posted on their stories on Instagram, like, Independence Day is canceled this year due to the lack of women's rights. Nope. And then the next story is them at a barbecue. Like, like, the next story is them, like, at a barbecue. Like, well, damn. Yeah, you, no, no, no, no. You do not get to celebrate it. You should have to sit your fucking ass at work today is what should have to happen.

Yeah, if you're going to post that, you can't have your next story being you at a fucking barbecue. Correct. You can't sit your ass down there and say, fuck America, and America sucks, and I can't do this, and this country's better, blah, blah, blah. And then you're sitting there like, hey, I got me a rack of ribs. I had ribs for lunch. That's why I'm doing this. No, that is bullshit. You do not get to do that. This is Independence Day. This is July 4th and this is goddamn America. Celebrate with us today. It is America, kiddos, and we're cracking open beer and there ain't nothing more American than drinking Luke Bryan beer, and I've had a lot of that this weekend, and you know

what? America kicks ass. You know what I keep reading? I keep reading all these Brittany Griner stories, like, Brittany Griner's still stuck in Russia, or if this were a man that were stuck there, they would have never gotten her. Here's an idea. Maybe that should show you that America doesn't suck all that fucking much. America bows down to every lesbian, gay, minority, everybody, right? Like, you're treated pretty fucking well in America if you're Brittany Griner. You know where you're not treated pretty well if you're anybody? Fucking Russia. But everybody's like, oh my God, Russia.

She's stuck in Russia. We got to get her. Yeah, well, Russia kind of fucking sucks. And China kind of fucking sucks and China kind of fucking sucks and these other countries kind of suck and we kind of kick ass so like any like I just get like listen I'm not some like guy that drapes myself and in the flag and I'm not some guy that's like you know like singing Lee Greenwood at the top of my lungs except in that video I posted in the pool from a couple years ago so So I'm not somebody that's like hardcore, like Mr. America guy, you know?

But like, I get annoyed when I see people talk about how much America sucks. Like, oh, America, what a piece of shit country we are. Then go live in fucking Russia and tell me how much fun that is. It's like negative 10 degrees all the fucking time. So go have fun living in fucking Russia. Have a great fucking time, friend. There you go. Celebrate Russian Independence Day over there, whatever the fuck they do. Go celebrate in China. China. Go celebrate China. It's incredible. Go celebrate in fucking China. Go to Russia.

Go to fucking Germany. Go to wherever the fuck it is you want to go. But just understand that like, hey, America doesn't suck all that fucking much. America kind of kicks ass in fact. And if tomorrow all the things were gone, I worked for all my life and I had to start again with just my children and my dog or my wife and my dog, I thank my lucky stars to be living here today. You know why? Because the flag still stands for freedom and they can't take that away. And I am proud to be an American where at least I know I'm free

and I won't forget the men who died who gave that right to me and I'd gladly stand up next to all you sons of bitches and defend her still today because there ain't no doubt I love this land. God bless the U.S. fucking A.

That's what I'm here for, baby. Let's go. So anybody that wants to sit here and bitch. What I love is all these people that hate America are the first people to be like, we got to get Brittany Griner out of Russia. Women just don't go to fucking Russia. It kind of sucks. There's no need to go.

That's why I don't travel anywhere else. Why the fuck do I need to go to Russia? Nobody needs to go to fucking Russia. It kind of sucks. There's no need to go. That's why I don't travel anywhere else. Why the fuck do I need to go to Russia? Nobody needs to go to Russia. I also like that she apparently wrote a letter to Joe Biden being like, hey, you need to free me. Like, I think he's got some bigger issues. So the thing's going on. You might not be the priority, man.

Yeah. There's a lot of shit. People getting shot. People die and all sorts of shit. No one's concerned about this giant dinosaur lady basketball player that nobody gives a fuck about. Oh, boy. If you guys want to throw in some donuts, you can.

I got some jello shots over here. We made like a shit ton of jello shots. We made an American flag out of jello shots. Well, because we don't have people over and we don't go to anyone's house or anything, but we really wanted jello shots. So you can't just make like three jello shots. You have to make 35. Yep.

So we have a lot of them still. I got a whole stack of these bad boys right here. The Real Toast says, don't go to Russia with drugs or don't ever go to Russia. Never. Like, I have no desire to go anywhere else. Like, I'm not some wacko. I just don't want to take long flights. They're like, why don't you go to China?

I don't want to go to fucking China. I have no need to go to China. I can see to go to fucking China I have no need to go to China I can see it on the internet why do I need to go to China to say I went to fucking China you'd like to go to Cabo that's different Mexico's basically America

those are our people I will gladly go there I do not need to fly across the goddamn ocean that's a short flight I don't need to be on a long ass flight that's not what I'm here for I don't need to be on like long-ass flight. That's not what I'm here for. I don't need to be on like a nine-hour flight.

Although, I've contemplated going to England. Well, because you wanted to go to the Saints game in England. Yes, that's the only reason. Otherwise, I would never go anywhere. I really don't want to go. We don't have passports, so you don't have to worry about it. That's true. So we stay right here in America. Farthest distance I'll travel might be to Poplar Bluff, Missouri,

to go see Mr. Lee Greenwood and Mr. Cowboy Ralph Ennis perform in November or whenever the fuck it is. But anyway, so again, what is it, $100 gets a jello shot? I got a whole stack of these bad boys, so you guys might be on tonight. We're also recording this for the podcast that will be for tomorrow. Got four jello shots right here. We got a whole bunch of them in the fridge. Luther's high on CBD right now because of the fireworks.

They got him freaked out. Those also like very presumptuous of you to bring those in here. Like we don't know that people are going to donate tonight. I bet they will because it's American holiday and people are having a good time. And they're drinking beer. Those are going to melt if people don't do it quickly. Then donate fast. We got Jell-O shots.

ObedG713 says, come back to Houston. Your boy would come back to Houston in a second. I love you guys. Can I tell you guys something? I fucking love you. I love you podcast listeners. I love my Houston people. I love Drew19120.

I love ZDogg and the real toaster head and Spank It Slap It and Adam Clanton, not the real one, but the guy in here. Battle wants to do jello shots during the show tomorrow. There'll probably be some left. There might be some leftovers, bro. Who knows? Boy, but I'm feeling good today. Inadvertently, last night did a whip it.

I did, so I was trying to suckle some whipped cream out of a can. And as it turns out, I guess it's better to hold it upside down and suckle it. No shit. So I was just sucking nitrous oxide. I might have gotten high last night on Whippets. That might have been the case. You retire from Delta 8 only to go to Whippets. Yep.

Look at me. I've fallen apart. Spank and slap. It says Yordan. The fucking Astros are so good. And what's amazing is they don't even feel like they're that good right now. Like, I feel like the ceiling is still way above where they are, right? Like, I don't think I'm the only one that feels that way.

Like, I feel like they could still add another elite level arm in the rotation, like a big dog in there. You obviously got Verlander. Yeah, because Odorizzi's not going to be. That ain't a deuce. No, that's obviously not going to be the case. Although he was pitching pretty well before he got hurt. But then he came back today and got roughed up.

But, you know, and there's Drew at $10. Thank you, Drew. Appreciate you, buddy. And Marica says $10. Thank you. So we're $80 away from a jello shot. You guys kick ass. M.W. Silgrove, are you going to be our accountant again?

Yep. So we got $20 in there. We need $80 more. But, like, the thing is, like, I feel like the Astros, like, Uli has stunk all year. You know why I know the Astros are good and why the franchise is good? Is I'm a Cardinals guy, right? I've grown up a Cardinals guy. For the last two decades, the Cardinals have been so good at being able to somehow lose big-time players and replace them and still survive.

And I think that's kind of what the Astros are right now. I mean, you lose Correa, Empenia's just out here bopping home runs, hitting walk-offs. I mean, Tucker's obviously become a very good offensive player. Jordan could be the MVP. That's all I missed in my parlay. Thanks, Kyle. But it's all good. We got the win. I mean, so, I mean, you look at this team and like, here's the thing.

Like somebody brought this up to me on Twitter yesterday or tweeted. They said, Hey, you know, uh, the Astros, he said, mark my words. The Astros will finish with a better record than the Yankees. They'll finish with the best record. And it's not unrealistic because look at the month they have coming up. It's nothing but trash from this division. This division sucks. It's mostly Oakland and Angels. What is the record comparison? I think with the win today because the Yankees haven't played, I think the loss column difference is only like four games or five games.

So the Astros now are 52-27. Yep. After winning seven in a row. And the Yankees are like 58-something. And the Yankees are 58-22. So, again, you're talking about a five game difference in the loss column and that would be a five game difference in the win column, right? So, I mean

they're five games behind those guys. Come on. That's not impossible to make up. Not at all. Come on, man. It's completely different. It's doable. MWSolgrove says Pena has to do it in the playoffs before anyone can say losing Correa was a good move. Very fair. I agree with you because Correa, generally speaking, not a regular season player,

massive postseason player. On the flip side, Correa's got to get into the postseason and do it in Minnesota and not do it in Houston. But no, you're totally right. 100%. I'm all for that. I agree with that. You are 100% accurate. But in the regular season right now, they're winning baseball games, and they're doing it with just great productivity from guys who are homegrown talents for the most part. They've let guys walk. I mean, obviously, the biggest one was Correa. So far, Pena's been very good. But Jordan, for the most part, a homegrown guy, if you want to call him that. And he's been and uh and you know Bregman obviously Bregman's starting to come around a little bit of Bregman like think about this this team is damn near 30 games over 500 and Bregman the guy in the heart of the lineup

like this you could argue the straw that stirs the drink one of the two guys that's like really the dude has been awful so they're doing that with Bregman being terrible maybe once his wife has their kids I think she's due in a few weeks, like then maybe he'll be a little less stressed and can focus more on, you know, because, I mean, that's probably pretty nerve-wracking for his time father. Yeah. He's got bigger things on his mind. Yeah.

So maybe once everything's good with that, then, you know, second half of the season we really get to see the old school Bregs. Yeah. Now we are now 70 bucks away from a shot. Thanks, Real Toaster Head, for the 10 bucks. If you guys want to throw in anything, bucks gets a jello shot and kids you can keep pouring them in because we got jello shots for days there's probably another like 20 in the fridge i know it's stupid it's been a weekend of jello shots uh mega blast says your dong alvarez boom boom dude dude i can't believe

that was his first walk-off home run well i mean it's not like the guy's been around for 100 years. It just seems like that would have happened. You would think. Yeah, you would think. Spank and slap. Uh-oh. Oh, Christ. Well, that's two jello shots.

Spank and slap. It just threw in 200 bucks. So that means we're doing two jello shots right now. And we're 70 away from a third. Shit's going crazy on a monday america got the club going up you know it's funny on a monday you brought this up earlier like why did you not take off tomorrow i don't know i might just record all this shit right now while we're in here and just show up at work at nine all right so speaking of i love doing that show in detroit there's a lot of shit talking that goes on oh yeah i get it jelly i'm so turned on right now nine. Alright, so speaking of, I love doing that show in Detroit.

There's a lot of shit talking that goes on. Oh yeah, get it, Jelly. I'm so turned on right now. That looks awkward on camera. I don't like it. Very awkward. There's another 20 from Crilla Gorilla. Oh, that's delicious. And then Brad Hall just threw it on.

Jesus Christ. Well, so we were 70 away. So now we're 70. We got one in the hole. So we need to do two. We've already got three, and I think we're 69 away from the next shot, according to M.W. Solgrove. It might be more than that or less than that.

I trust M.W. Solgrove. Oh, shit. Luther, good news. You've been approved for daycare this weekend. All right, we've got to do another one here. This could be poison because Jell-O shots don't feel like shots at all. No, and I poured a lot of vodka in them. Oh, shit.

Here, okay. I just want to watch Jelly do another one. No. You look so adorable today. You look adorable. Look at you. You look tan. Oh, that's fine.

Thank you, but not when I'm doing a jello shot. And you're wearing your America shirts. Oh, look at you. Oh, come on. No, don't do that. Don't hold out. I'll do it then. Oh, the gay men are so turned on right now.

If gay Mike were watching this, he'd be so aroused. Totally. All right, so. Oh, boy. Totally. All right, so. Oh, boy. Woo! So we still owe them one, and then we're like 60 or something away from the other. ZDogg asked how the stadium tour was. Well, it would have been much better had Bret Michaels not gotten sick.

Boy. I mean, I was so crushed by this. We were actually on the point where we both looked at each other and were like, should we just go home? Well, let me explain how this went down. So if you want to go round up some more Jell-O shots, I can start the story. We can wait a second. I know we still owe one Jell-O shot thanks to Brad Hall.

And then we're 48-15 away. So here's how it went down. So we were over drinking. Well, first of all, the day started with us going over to our hotel at three when we were supposed to check in and they're like nope can't check in yet and jilly was furious okay like i get it sometimes rooms aren't ready right yeah but what i didn't appreciate was when i said well do you have like a an estimate maybe of when this might be ready that's all i was asking like an hour like 30 minutes? Because technically we were supposed to go give out tickets.

So I wasn't lying when I said I kind of have to work, do kind of a work thing. I'm supposed to be over at the stadium at like 4.30. So are we going to be able to check in or what? And I just didn't appreciate that. They were like, no, we don't know. But they said, oh, but we can get you room right now if you want to pay the $45 upgrade.

Like, oh, I see what this is about. All right, now before we move on, we just got 128 from Biden sucks. So we're on two shots and we're 80-15 away from a third shot. Shit's going down on this Monday on July 4th. We love America. Now, so anyway, so that all happened. Then, so we drink some beers over at this bar and we walk across this pedestrian bridge. I don't know how many of you have been to Nashville,

but we walked across this pedestrian bridge that's over there to go to the stadium. There was a rain delay. There was a little bit of rain and some lightning, so there was a delay. So as we're walking across the bridge, we can hear what's going on in the stadium. And in the stadium, there is some random, you know, group, um, playing some random cover band and they're playing and we have no idea who they are, but we're thinking, all right, this is good. We're going to make it in there in time to see poison because poison is supposed to play after Joan Jett I believe. So Joan Jett's going to come on after this random opener and

then it's going to be Poison. That's the band we really wanted to see because I've never seen Poison. I've seen Def Leppard I've seen Motley Crue. You have seen Poison. I've never seen Poison. I saw like half of their show once but I've never fully watched it. The other part about this story is that we had a listener who actually poured honey and sugar on him. His name is Kyle. Yep. And I felt bad because he lives very yeah and he couldn't make it to pick up his tickets to

like six yeah and i was like well shit i'm not gonna miss poison like we need to figure out something else then because i'm not gonna wait outside for this kid so we left the tickets on the windshield of the station vehicle because i wanted to see poison that's not too much to ask right also by the way people said luther let's see if anybody can get a view of Luther. You're about to get his butt if you put it over there. Look at this. Hold on. Let me find it.

Oh, there he is. Ladies and gentlemen, Luther's anus. Luther, look at everybody. Luther, there he is. He's got himself a bone. Dan, I'm in the bone zone. Are you in the bone zone? Hey, can you guys throw in some Luther bits?

I'll do a shot to a bone shot. Do you guys want me to do some bone shots? Can I do a shot of bone broth, Mom? Can I do that? But anyway, so, meanwhile, back at the ranch. So, should we do a shot now? Alright. This is poison,

because it really feels like you're not really doing a shot. Well, the other problem is, like, you're going to have to switch to actual vodka here soon, because there's not, I thought there was a lot left. How many are left? Two. There's not two Jell-O shots left. After these, two. Shit.

Oh, Jell-O shots. America. Oh, Jesus. That'll finish off Jell-O shots. Alright, so we're going to do a little math here. So we owed two before he just threw that in. Yep, so that's three now.

And MW's over. So we just did one, so we owe two more, right? Correct. Oh, Christ at Christmas. And then how close are we to another? Woo-hoo! Ha-ha! Oh, shit. And just a little while ago, I told Jillill i've been drinking all this booze this week and i go i haven't felt drunk all weekend that's about to change tonight like of course

like this is the one night where we have to like wake up and be productive tomorrow like i recorded all my shit for today on Saturday. Like, I was good. Anyway, back to the stadium show. So we're in our seats. We got our first beer. And immediately, by the way, we walked in. Like, it was packed because it was raining. So, like, the concourse was extra tight.

This is our first time in Nissan Stadium. Horrible stadium, by the way. And mind you, it rained for, like, 20 minutes. No, it actually felt nice. And it did, but then the sun came back out because this is like 5 o'clock, 5.15. So it's really hot. It's not that great. But we get in.

We go pick up some beers. We find it. We wait and it's packed. It's gross in there. Because immediately we both look at each other like, fuck, we need to get drunk. I'm not used to being around crowds.

I think because of the Rona and stuff, I've developed social anxiety almost. Yeah. I don't know how to be in public. Because also we usually just get drunk at the house in fairness though this stadium i don't know how many of you have been to nissan stadium this is my first time it's a very tight kind of concourse like an old dumpy college stadium kind of not very luxurious so we're shoulder to shoulder with people like walking through the concourse trying to get to uh to get a beer well we went to the bathroom then we went to get a beer so we got a beer from

a nice you know gentleman selling beers got some Coors Lights because the mountains needed to be blue there was Bud Light Coors Light Miller Light but we got Coors and uh we get our beers we go down to our seats and we got a whole row to ourselves, apparently, because I had all the tickets. There were only six seats. And we were in the second row, kind of like in the, like we were on the opposite end of the stage, but it was fine. It was a good seat, I thought. So we were sitting there, and sure enough, we're sitting there drinking our beer, and

a fellow walks out. And it turns out, I didn't know it at the time, it's one of the guys from Poison. It wasn't Ricky Rocket, and it wasn't C.C. DeVille. It was the other guy. The other one. The other one that no one ever talks about that's in Poison. And he comes out and he goes, well, we got a big announcement here, guys. So, Mr. Brett Michaels has had a bad reaction and he's on his way to the hospital right now and it appears that we're gonna have to

cancel the show today we're gonna give up our spot to joan jett because we already delayed so joan jett she's gonna play in our spot it was bobby doll correct uh joe also to be clear as john r says rona's not real stop that i'm not afraid of catching the rona yeah i'm just not used to being around big crowds of people anymore. Yes, and that's a true thing. Whenever you haven't been around crowds for three years, which for the most part we haven't or most people haven't, it's kind of weird

being shoulder to shoulder with people. When you try to order at a bar, when we went to Vegas for Sammy I was kind of like, what do we order? We usually just have non-stop beers in the fridge. I don't know what to fucking order. It's weird. That's what I mean. I'm not. I don't know what to fucking order. Yeah, it's weird. So it's weird. That's what I mean. I'm not saying I'm terrified of being the Rona. We don't live in fear of no Rona.

I'm not leaving my house. It's just because we were so isolated and because we never really went out and we got fired and then the Rona. It's just, I have weird social anxiety now about it. Come on now. Not about getting sick. It's about being in big crowds. So we're sitting there and they'd say so like i thought it was a goof at

first i'm like what they're like yep there's no poison joe so i'm angry at this point like i'm in stunned silence like what the fuck no that's again when we said we looked at each other like it's raining the show's delayed just want to go home i literally looked at you and said let's just go the fuck home if we hurry we can get luther you know, it's time for him to go to bed at the daycare. We can just go home. But instead we decided to go up. And again, I don't know how many of you have been to Nissan stadium, but like the, the

concourse areas in the end zones are like little houses, like a storefront type thing. It looks like the wild west. And it looks like, like, like you ever go to like six flags and you're like, Hey, I'm in toontown. Yes. Toontown. Exactly. It looks like toontown. go to like six flags and you're like hey i'm in toontown yes toontown exactly it looks like toontown like what the fuck is this i'm in toontown very strange and so like there's a barbecue restaurant but it's in this weird wacky like western type of storefront and the same thing for like the beer store and everything else so we go up there and then joan jett starts playing and i will say this about joan jett she put she's very good.

She's great. And she sounds great. I just don't have any fucking interest in Joan Jett. No, she was playing a lot of covers and, you know, whatever. Well, I mean, some of those covers are her songs that she released as singles. I get that. But still, it was like we weren't there for Joan Jett. Like, originally, our plan was to get to the stadium at 530 to be in our seats for Poison at 6.

So we had already planned on skipping Joan Jett. Correct. But of course we couldn't. So we stood in line and got some food and stuff during Joan Jett. And then, uh, so after that happens, we go down,

our buddy shows up, our listener who became our friend, Kyle. He's great. I like Kyle. And we did, and I bought him some beers and stuff. We had a good time.

And, um, so we did that. And, uh, then, uh, Def Leppard plays and they. We had a good time. And so we did that. And then Def Leppard plays. And they played. Surprisingly very good. Well, I'm not surprised that they were good. Well, not very good.

I would say surprisingly entertaining. Because you and I were both kind of like, well, it sucks Def Leppard's not closing. Correct. Because we could have left early. We sound so lame, right? We do. But I will say this, too. The Motley Crue portion would not have been as good in the daytime.

No, it needed to be at night. So these shows, like was it Philly? Like I think Motley opened for Def Leppard in Philly, right? Yeah. Like to me then you didn't get the full experience. Because Motley after dark is what you have to have. Here's the thing though. And so Def Leppard was fine.

The thing is they sound great and they still play well. Yeah. There's a little draw, like a little dull little part in there where they play like acoustic shit for 20 minutes and stuff off their new album. So we just took that moment to go get beer. And again, I'm also like shocked at how many people are like, wait, you have the set list

on your phone? Like, yeah, that's exactly how I fucking planned when they get up and go to the bathroom and go get my beer. So I knew that Def Leopard was going to have this little lull of 20 minutes and it was perfect. Yeah. So I knew that Def Leppard was going to have this little lull of 20 minutes, and it was perfect. Yeah. So we came back, and then we did Hysteria.

We did Let's Get Rocked. We did Pour Some Sugar. Like, it was great. I don't want to touch you too much, baby. They were fun. No, they're good. And then there's the downtime, and then Motley Crue plays. And look, Vince Neil's a horrific singer. But also.

Like, just horrific. We've kind of become obsessed with Vince Neil this week. We have. Like, so here's the thing about Vince Neil is a horrific singer. But also- Like, just horrific. We've kind of become obsessed with Vince Neil this week. We have. Like, so here's the thing about Vince Neil. I spend so much time mocking this guy on the radio in both Detroit and in Nashville. Because he's awful. He cannot sing. He's terrible.

You have no clue what he's saying. He's fat. He's awful. Now, compared to when you saw him in 2015, I feel like he has improved. A little bit. But like, he's so fat. And you have no idea what he's awful. Now, compared to when you saw him in 2015, I feel like he has improved. A little bit. But he's so fat, and you have no idea what he's saying. So we just started watching old videos of Vince Neil doing cameos that are terrible and falling off the stage.

He's a mess of a human. Then we watched the two-hour documentary on, was it Axis? Yeah, we watched it over the last weekend. Where he talked about his awesome solo single. And we were mocking him. We're like, the song, and I don't know if anybody will remember this song. Probably not. Joe might claim to. But he had a single called You're Invited, parentheses,

but your friends can't come. Or your friend can't come. And I'm like, well, this song's probably shit. And he's like, it was a big hit. And I looked it up and I'm like, no, it wasn't. And then I started listening to this song even more. It was in a movie called Encino Man, which you guys have probably seen, with Pauly Shore and Brendan Fraser.

And this dude, like, it's a really good jam. I'm like, this song, fuck. You're invited, but your friend can't come. You're invited, but your friend can't come. I'm like, fuck, this rules. I think you made it the alarm. I did. So when I wake up tomorrow at 4. I think you made it the alarm. I did. So when I wake up tomorrow at 4.05 in the morning after being blitzed off of Jell-O shots,

we got to do another one, by the way. We're like three behind or two behind. We also, again, not related to the concert, but we did decide now that you probably need to apologize to Vince Neil on the radio. I do. Because he lives here. I'm like, listen, Vince, you're a horrible singer, but I enjoy you. I want to be your friend.

He lives in Franklin, Tennessee, home of Jay Cutler as well. And we came up with a great idea. What's that? Well you were trying to shop for clothes because you've gotten so fat that your clothes don't fit. Oh yeah. So tell me this isn't a great idea. So Vince Dio's obviously fat.

And I'm obviously fat. I don't think he would deny it. No he's fat and so am I. And I was at the Big and Tall in a mall here in Nashville, one of these dead malls. I was at JCPenney looking for some Big and Tall clothes because I'm fat. I literally had to – well, you guys want to hear something sad? First of all, can I get an update on how many shots behind we are and money-wise where we are in terms –

This is the fourth. This is our fourth one. Okay, so we've done four so are we one shot behind now i think we're one shot behind and we're like x dollars from another one but anyway so we were at this mall and i'm looking for clothes by the way i had to throw away like literally i was in my closet i said i'm sick of not having clothes that fit i'm too fucking fat every morning you would put on a shirt and then get angry because it didn't fit. So here's what I did.

I went to my closet and started digging through clothes that don't fit. Dig this, motherfuckers. I put 16 pairs of Lucky Brand jeans in various sizes and cuts in a garbage bag on Saturday. Like, think about that. Like, I don't even wear jeans. This is how much money I used to make. I would just order like boxes of Lucky Brand jeans. Like, I'm going to buy these Lucky Brand jeans. And then I would never wear them because I never wear jeans. I hate jeans. So I threw like 16 pairs of Lucky Brand jeans and a bunch of shirts and shit.

If you had to guess the value of the clothes that I've given away to, like, Goodwill in the last decade, what do you think the value is? A good amount because it's the clothes. Dude, 15 Lucky Brand jeans, those are like $100 a piece. Just this $1,500 right there. And Lucky Brand also apparently makes a stretchy jean that I forgot about, and I kept some of those because your boy's thick. Well, also, you didn't put them in the donation box because it was full.

So you left it on the side, and then it rained like two hours later, so all that clothes were probably ruined. Probably. But let me tell you, I've given away a lot of Lucky Brand jeans. But back. But just really quick, and I've given away a lot of jerseys. I've given away shirts. I mean, I've given away a lot of shit.

But anyway, so where was I? We were talking about our brilliant business plan. So we were sitting there in the mall that day. You need to get a hold of Vince. I do because I think I have a business plan that will kick ass. And Vince is not one to turn

down money making opportunities. I don't think he is. So here's my idea. my idea is a big and tall clothing brand but like cool big and you know like cool shit like like ed hardy for fat people like this kind of started because you were trying to find a show to wear to the show a shirt a shirt to wear to the show which i couldn't i couldn't find a deaf leopard big and tall i couldn't find poison Def Leppard big and tall. I couldn't find Poison. Crew, anything. So I said, here's an idea. And it just randomly came to my head when we were in the mall. I said, hey, what about, this is so stupid, but I think it's a brilliant business idea. It was a big and tall clothing store. A clothing line.

A clothing line that would be sold at like a Jc penny a dxl a sears and roebuck maybe they don't do big and tall at like target it's not like super expensive dxl it's not no but it looks like it yeah it looks like high-end shit that a rock star would wear but it's affordable okay what's it called jilly vince neal and Josh Innes present Too Fat for Love. Too Fat for Fucking Love. And that's the name of it. And it has all sorts of cool shit. And then what we're going to do is we're going to come up with this clothing line,

Too Fat for Love. Too Fat! Too Fat for Love! And then what we're going to do is we're going to take Too Fat for Love and we're going to pitch it on Shark Tank. Yep. And you do on there first, right? It would just be you originally.

I'll come out. That's how it's going to go. So I'm going to come out. Because you always have to like do on the show. Like, well, we do have one. Remember when Gronk came out on that one? Like, okay, we do have one kind of famous investor. Yeah.

He's my partner. Let me lay it out for you. I'm going to come out there with a really small shirt that like my guts hanging out and i'll put my arms up my gut will hang out are you sick of this hey sharks hey sharks are you guys sick of having your stomach hang out of your undersized shirt and are you tired of going to the dxl and other stores where a shirt that would cost a normal size person ten $10, cost you $45. Are you sick of the girls, girls, girls not giving you attention because your clothes don't fit? Yes.

Do you want a doctor feel good? And they're like, wait a second, where's this going? I said, well, I have an investor. And let me tell you something. After you hear our pitch, you're not going to go away mad. No, you will not. You will not go away mad. But don't tell us to go away.

Nope. We have got a great pitch for you guys. And I tell you, when you hear this, you're going to want us to go to your home sweet homes and to be business partners. Ladies and gentlemen, the lead singer of Motley Crue, Mr. Vince Neal. Hey, everybody, it's Vince Neal. How you doing out there tonight Vince Neil. Hey, everybody, it's Vince Neil. Have a good afternoon out there tonight. You're like, yeah, it's Vince Neil.

I'm fat, motherfuckers. Woo! And you have no idea what he's saying. If you're so fat that you think you have to kickstart your heart, well, fellas, listen up. Listen up. Because let me tell you something. You're going to be shouting right at the fucking devil while you're wearing your too fat for love clothes. That's right. Too fat for love.

God, it would be awesome. It would be truly the best. But we have to get Vince on board and I really think that he would go for this. But you have to get him, you have to get his contact info. Yeah, we do. We have to smooth things over with Vince because you have made fun of him a lot. Like he even knows that I've made fun of him. But I feel like maybe he does. Maybe. What else

does he listen to here? Hoops? I don't know what he listens to here. That's a good question, Jelly. Also, we just got another 2846 from Luther Bits, and I'm fairly certain that means we... Well, we're already one shot behind. Well, fuck.

Do I have to go get him? Do you want to go get the Jell-O shots? I didn't realize we didn't have them. Too fat. Too fat for love. I think Damon John would be in on this. Damon John. I'd be like, didn't have them. Too fat. Too fat for love. I think Damon John would be in on this. Damon John.

I'd be like, Damon, let me tell you something, brother. You know clothing, and you're the guy I want to be in with. Wouldn't you like to make big and tall clothing for people who like hair metal? Don't you want to be part of too fat for love? The Real Toaster Head says, I don't think Vince has an ego anymore. Well, he might. He might. He might. Too fat.

Too fat for love. Is this the end of the Jell-O shots? Yeah. These are the last ones? That means we have to go to real. God, now I kind of hope you guys slow down. I don't want to do real. We can do tequila. I do still have the vodka that I made the Jell-O shots with, so at least we can stay

with the same spirit. My finger is red. It looks like I fucking fingered a period chick. What the fuck? That's so gross. This is what I used to say on the radio. Bitch, I'm about to drink this shit. You are so gross.

You're a nasty bitch. Go ahead. As you were. Oh yeah. More donuts for Jilly. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Too fat. Too fat for love.

I really think Vince would be in. I mean, based on the amount of Vince Neil YouTube videos we watched this weekend and Vince Neil interviews, I think Vince would be in. We also watched Vince on Celebrity Wife Swap. We did. too fat too fat for love I really think this could be like a big thing oh boy M.W. Solgrove says Dame and John will say I love the idea the brand it would go great with my collection but I'm out because you're white I don't know that I don't think so I do not think Dame and John would just hate us because we're white now Mark Cuban might Mark Cuban would no doubt hate us because we're white Mark Cuban go guys listen

that's not really my area I I get into like vegan foods and shit that uh that are not white people and you we can't have. So how do we get Vince Neal's contact info? Joe? Joe, go ahead and get on it. We need to get him. Like, he lives here. Someone at this fucking radio station would have to have fucking Vince Neal's contact info. Too fat for love, baby. And like, see, people

like me are sick of going to the DXL and you're like, hey, I'd really like this Van Halen t-shirt. And they're like, great, that's $50. And you're like, well, if I go to JCPenney and buy it in the normal people section, it's like $7. So why do I have to spend $50 fucking dollars for a fat guy shirt? And that's what we're going to do, though, is we're going to make sure to not fuck people over, and we're going to give them affordable prices. Vince evidently used to have a vodka and a tequila,

and it's a shame that he doesn't anymore because this would have been a great bit for you in battle to do, like, you know, when he tried to get Sammy Hagar's attention. Yep. Vince though I feel like if you plug his shit enough he will just pop up. M.W. Solgrove wants us to know that we need to bank on Mr. Wonderful. That's where he'll swoop in. Now guys Mr. Wonderful.

I like Barbara. Barbara might get in on it too. She's like with her big like her face like this and shit. I think she'd understand our vision. She would. Lori Greiner would be out. This isn't her thing. No.

But Lori, we could be on, like, on the whole shopping network. Imagine Vince Neil on QVC. Imagine Vince Neil coming out like, I didn't realize this until, like, the other day. I have no idea what any Motley Crue lyrics are. That being said, the show was very enjoyable. It was. It was a good time.

Because we never actually said what we thought about Crue. It was a good time. I liked it. Shout out to the devil. But it is amazing to see how people like, if you want to look at celebrities and look at like people who've just changed so much over a certain period of time, like Mick Jagger has never changed. He's gotten older, but his body type and his all stays the same all the other guys in crew look you know you can still okay that's very obviously by the way has the

most care and doubt fucking haircut ever like he looks like he would be calling about fireworks like hey guys there's guys the police i'm hearing noises outside there's too many fireworks but like they all look basically the same like I also found out that Jilly's so horny for Tommy Lee well like 90s Tommy Lee like Pam Anderson banging Tommy Lee Tom I never knew this oh yeah I never had a clue oh god yeah but Jilly just loves this fucker she loves Tommy Lee she's like oh yeah he was so hot and I'll pull up pictures like yep that's my Tommy Lee right there like oh yeah he was so hot and I'll pull up pictures like yep that's my Tommy Lee right there like never knew that I don't give a shit I just never knew I mean if I would have been no of age and in my heyday back in that time I probably would

have fucked somebody in Motley Crue yep be like listen guys hey Tommy Lee where you at where you at bro but yeah so like like I'm trying to think of examples of celebrities who really like look totally different than they did in their heyday. Like Daisy Duke. If you look at Daisy Duke, Catherine Bach, if you look at early eighties, Catherine Bach, you're like, holy shit. What a piece of ass. If you look at Catherine Bach today, you're like, what a piece of cake.

Like she's large. Like Vince Neil looks like a totally different human. He looks like 1988 Vince Neil had a bad reaction to shellfish, and he just, like, never recovered from it. Mickey Rourke is a great example. The thing is, Mickey Rourke was all done in by plastic surgery. Like, plastic surgery destroyed his face he's gross he was a very handsome guy like Mickey Rourke in nine and a half weeks when he's taking

fucking uh homegirl uh what's her name not Nicole who am I thinking of uh what's her name how am I oh uh Kim Basinger Kim Basinger was taking her to pound town in like that alley and pouring syrup on each other and shit he was a handsome guy in diner. He was a handsome guy, but he is not a handsome guy anymore because he's had too much work done. He's frightening. Uh, let's see. Little Kim looks way to do. Little Kim's gross as fuck. That guy from the mighty ducks. Oh, Ace, you're talking about Goldberg. Goldberg's, uh, fall came from meth and crack, but yes, he looks totally different. Pam Anderson, B-Hannon does look different. Like a lot of people, like certain people just age

so incredibly. Like, oh, what's her name? Who am I thinking of? Oh, she was in that shitty NASCAR movie with, oh, with Kenny Raj. She was in Six Pack. Who am I thinking of? She was in Six Pack and The Perfect Storm and that movie where she's getting fucked in the staircase by the French guy and she's cheating on Richard Gere. What's her fucking name? How am I drawing a blank on her name? It was like the horniest shit ever. She's cheating on Richard Gere, getting plowed in the staircase by the French guy. What the fuck is her name?

How am I drawing a blank on this chick's name? But she looks good still. Diane Lane is her name? How am I drawing a blank on this chick's name? But she looks good still. Diane Lane is her name. Diane Lane still looks really good. Like she's aged pretty well. Some chicks age. George Clooney has aged incredibly. I would have the most,

if George Clooney showed up today and he's like, do you want to have sex? I'd say yes. Well, because he's got a new rom-com coming out, which is right up your alley. Yes. Totally. I was watching Ocean's 11, 12 and 13 marathon on E! today. And we were just laying around.

And I'm like, dude, this movie kicks ass. The second one wasn't all that good. And I haven't watched the third one in forever, so I couldn't tell you. And there was Lady Oceans. That was fine. But George Clooney is such a handsome son of a bitch M.W. Solgrove says the craziest side by side of celebrity aging is Tom Cruise and Top Gun then and now versus the chick from the yeah you're talking about um is that Kelly no Kelly LeBrock was in uh Weird Science and she doesn't look that good either what the the fuck is her name from the other chick? Kelly McGillis.

Kelly McGillis, she does not look good at all. Tom Cruise, he just turned 60 yesterday. Can I change something that fucks with me? And feel free to throw in some donuts while we're hanging out. Are we still one shot behind? M.W. Soger, what's the tally? Are we one shot behind and then towards the other? Let me tell you guys something here.

You know what really fucks with me? Deep fakes. Like I see them, like they'll pop up on my Facebook page and I'll see like a deep fake of like Tom Cruise. I'm like, that's fucking Tom Cruise. And they're like, no. And like, I was watching one yesterday and it was like Tom Cruise making out with like fucking Paris Hilton. I'm like, is he making out with Paris Hilton? Is this fucking real? And they're like, nope, that's a deep fake motherfucker. You gotilton. I'm like, is he making out with Paris Hilton? Is this fucking real? And they're like, nope, that's a deep fake, motherfucker. You got fooled. I'm like, holy shit.

Wow. What the fuck, Josh? Vince was the hottest thing in my carny posters, says Philly at PA. Let's see, Tom Cruise looks, dude, Tom Cruise, you know what the biggest difference between Tom Cruise, like say in The Outsiders and Today is?

He got his teeth fixed. Outside of that, he looks the same in terms of, like, handsomeness and shit. Okay, so M.W. Sogrove, the official accountant of the Gist Nation, says we are $80 away with a shot behind. Should I go get us some booze? So, we need to go get a shot. Shots. But get the, it's Pickers vodka.

It's Nashville vodka. Well, I finished the Tito's, so I wanted to go sit outside and keep, like, my little bit of a tan going, but it's, like, 9,000 degrees again. There's actually heat advisory in effect from, like, 1 o'clock today through midnight on Friday. It never, at one point, gets below 105 heat index. I don't remember it being that hot in Houston. I mean, I'm sure it's hot there now, but this is stupid. Shot, shot, shot, shot, shot, shot. ZDogg, you said you're going to see REO Speedwagon Saturday? That'll be fun.

They're in August, but it's a Monday. That's tough. Too fat. Too fat for love. Ah. Hey, Luther's here. Come on, Luther. Come on, Luther.

Come in. Come on, Luther. You have to open the door for him. Feel free to throw in. So we're one behind. That's it, right? One behind and then 80 away. All right.

One behind, 80 away. Oh, God. We haven't done straight vodka shots in a very long time. No. And your boy's got to get up and go to work at 4.05 tomorrow. I love y'all in Central PA from H-Town. Do you listen to me in Central PA on the river? You should? You should

Shots This is going to be terrible Probably Should have made more jello shots There was no more room on the tray Shots everybody Yay America

That's not terrible I think you beg to differ That's not terrible. I think you beg to differ. Well, because normally I do vodka. We also have that lime vodka we can try. I'll try to avoid mixing, but... Gabrielle Union has an age, says Behan. I disagree. She's aged a little bit usually when

i do vodka it's chilled uh whoo that is not chilled feeling good feeling great all right so here's what we need to do then we i guess we can wrap up the podcast that's what i'm saying we can do aqueduct and then we'll just hang out with our folks on here and chill and have a good time that's fine uh because i hate when the podcast ends up going like four hours for people and they're like, bro, what the hell? And there's like, I fall asleep and then there's like me singing randomly. But anyway, throw in some bits to keep the party

going on on Twitch. But our friends over at Aqueduct Plumbing Company, 281-488- 6238. That's 281- 488-6238 or AqueductPlumbingCompany.com. There's Luther just waiting at the door with his bone. Ah, but they are the best now. Re-pipes, leak detection, camera inspection, plumbing fixtures, water heaters, tankless water heaters,

water filters, drain cleaning. They do it all. And they are awesome at what they do. Are they awesome, Luther? The correct answer is yes. Dad, let me tell you something. Dad, Aqueduct Plumbing Company. Am I right? I mean, my God, they're just amazing. Aqueduct Plumbing Company. Well, put the Luther cam on, but say like, you know, the B word. Dad, hey, Dad. Luther, how do you feel about Aqueduct Plumbing Company?

Do they have bones at Aqueduct Plumbing Company? Yeah, they do. I guess. But Aqueduct Plumbing Company with Billy and his sister Mary, 281-488-6238, AqueductPlumbingCompany.com. They are at your disposal. All right, we will say goodbye to our podcast friends.