The Josh Innes Show - JIS: Stressed Cities, Top 10 QB's, Texans Helmets

Episode Date: July 12, 2022

Josh Innes and Jilly open the show discussing the Texans new red helmets. Jilly loves them. Cleveland is the most stressed city in America. Josh knows someone who lives in Cleveland who can solve that problem, Deshaun Watson. Who are the top 10 QB's in the NFL? Are there 10 great QB's? Josh and Jilly overheard a man at lunch explaining how he discovered he has six siblings after taking a DNA test. Jilly wants Josh to take this test to find out if he has any unknown siblings. Josh refuses because he's pretty positive he does. ESPN got played by Ballsack Sports.Josh wants to take a break from gambling. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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And she's a legit doctor. She's not like Dr. Jill busby and she's a legit doctor she's not like dr jill biden uh but she's like legit she's a doctor of veterinary medicine she's a dvm baby so it's our friend dr busby and toegrips.com this is the josh in his show howdy everybody welcome in to the josh Ennis Show. Josh and Jilly today. Jilly is a bit miffed because the Texans are only going to wear this new red helmet one time. I've always liked the red jerseys. I think it's stupid they only do them for one battle red day. I think the red jerseys are way better, especially when they run with the white pants.

If it's red on red, it's gross. Well, yes. Like, red on red for anybody is gross. The Chiefs wear red on red. It's gross. The Texans wear red on red it's gross Well yes Like red on red for anybody is gross The Chiefs wear red on red it's gross The Texans wear red on red Some colors work on top of each other Like the Texans with their Their overall color rush

The blue one That looks really awesome The Patriots with their blue color rush Blue on blue looks very good Red on red looks like shit. It looks like some swacked out bullshit. That looks like some me-ack, ugly-ass bullshit is what that looks like. Well, I love the new red helmets, if you haven't seen them.

They got a little shine to them, and I think they need to wear them more than once. It's stupid, all this hype for one game. Who knows, maybe at some point they'll make a full-on move. I saw Bootsy tweeting about that. He said, time for a rebrand, baby.'ll make a full-on move i saw bootsy tweeting about that he said time for a rebrand baby time for a full-on rebrand and go all red with the helmets change the game you've had blue forever you've been a mediocre franchise forever why not go with the red helmet to get things moving how about that i like them a lot no i think it looks good too it looks good too i was reading uh today that um there's a list of the most stressed

out cities in the country if you had to guess what i just showed you so i also read the same show prep that you read well to be fair i battle read this i didn't actually read it but apparently the most stressed out city in the country is cleveland ohio but I know someone who's a new resident of Cleveland who knows how to beat the stress. Yeah, that's true. It involves beating his meat. But Cleveland is the most stressed out city in the country. I just like how that story just keeps kind of fading away,

fading away. I think there's going to be a bomb dropped at some point. At some point, there's going to have to be. I saw Josina Anderson tweeting about how she's got all this information that some of the information that one of the ladies was telling her kid that Deshaun was a nice guy, even though she's in one of these suits. Something's going to happen. The guy's a fucking creep. But Detroit is number two on the most stressed out cities in the country.

Gulfport, Mississippi. What is there to be stressed out about in Gulfport, Mississippi? Getting roofied. Oh, yeah is there to be stressed out about in Gulfport, Mississippi? Getting roofied. Oh, yeah, we did get roofied there. But does everybody get roofied? I mean, that's the same, right? Gulfport, Biloxi? Yeah, so yeah.

Or hurricanes. That could be it. But it's just such a random city, because when you look at the rest of these cities, there's something in common. Cleveland, dumpy, Midwestern, violent city. Detroit, dumpy,western violent city detroit dumpy midwestern violent city baltimore crime riddled northeastern city philadelphia crime riddled northeastern city memphis like the apex of fucking crime new orleans like right below the apex of crime and hurricane birmingham crime like

gulfport's the one in this that stands out now this is from wallethub.com well do you know the crime rates in gulfport i don't but i would imagine it has to be something similar to that in memphis new orleans baltimore cleveland because those are shithole cities where there's tons of violence so i'd imagine that gulfport is a far more violent stressed out city than we thought i would not have guessed that every one of those other cities i'd say totally i also would have guessed that. Every one of those other cities, I'd say totally. I also would have guessed New York, but New York's not in here. Yeah, Gulfport has one of the highest crime rates in America

compared to all communities of all sizes. Really? Yep. Well, that explains why we got roofied there. 47 per 1,000 residents is the crime rate. And that violent crimes are just crimes in general. It's just the crime rate. Wow.

So that shows what I know about Gulfport. I know nothing about the place. I know that it's a dump. I know the water is brown. And I know that we got roofied there. Do I know that for a fact? No. But do I believe we got roofied there?

Yes. Yeah, I do too. I really do. We've made jokes about it before. But, I mean, that time I really, truly believe that something was in each of our dreams. There's no way there couldn't have been. Like, it is a slam dunk that we got roofied. Because I've gotten, I mean, now, granted, this past weekend's a bad example

because, you know, I don't remember uploading a podcast on Sunday. No, but I do. I mean, I remember wrapping it up and going to make eggs. And usually, we've talked about this, usually there's a point where one of us might be blackout and the other one's like, okay, well, if he's blackout or she's blackout i need to fucking pull it in yeah but that day was like the same exact time the same exact place the same exact moment we both have nothing yeah now the least stressed cities in the country uh would be fremont california but here's the thing if you live in

california my guess is you're still going to be stressed out because everything's expensive as hell and if you're in that part of the country which I think is the Bay Area I think Fremont is in like the Bay Area they may be rich enough to not worry about money then maybe but they also have hobos and people shitting in the streets and people getting attacked by homeless people South Burlington Vermont well of course there's no stress in South Burlington, Vermont. That's what I would imagine is a rich place. It just sounds rich. South Burlington, Vermont.

It just sounds like that's where Lovey lives. It sounds like that's where the Thurston, Howland, Lovey reside. Yeah, by the way, Fremont, California housing expenses are 214% higher than the national average. Where is it? Is it around San Francisco? Yeah, it's in national average, so they don't worry about it. Where is it? So is it around San Francisco? Yeah, it's in the Bay Area. They don't worry about money there.

They clearly don't, and they must keep all the hobos and minorities away. And that's why they're not stressed, I guess. Madison, Wisconsin. Oh, the Clappertons. Yeah, we visit Madison. We go to watch the Badgers. Let me tell you, there's nothing but stress whenever we go watch the Badgers because we're pulling for them.

Me and Bernie and Bernice and Bernadette, you know, we all go there and we go root for the Badgers over in Madison, Wisconsin. But on our way there, you know where we go, Jilly? Where? We take a stop at tomorrow's Cheese Castle. That's what we do. Yeah, that's what we do. We go in there and we stop in.

And let me tell you something. When Bernice gets around all that cheese, oh, let me tell you, brother. Oh, wee. It is. I mean, it is. She loses her mind. You know that song from the TV show, the Mary Tyler Van Dyke show or whatever it's called where there's the twin.

Well, they look alike. Sometimes they talk alike. And then, you know, what they do is they eat at the hot dog. It makes her lose control. Well, let me tell you something, Jilly. Cheese at the Mars Cheese Castle makes Bernice lose control. She goes crazy. I don't know that the Mars Cheese Castle is on the way from Green Bay.

We make a special trip, Jilly. I don't know that the Mars Cheese Castle is on the way from Green Bay. We make a special trip Jilly. I don't know why you choose to be so bitchy about it. We make a special stop so Bernice can go to the Mars Cheese Castle. We live in Appleton. We make our way to the Mars Cheese Castle. Then we go up to

Camp Randall so we can watch the Badgers. That's what we do. I see. We and Bernice and Bernadette. And Bernie Clapperton Jr. The Clappertons really make me miss football season. We were talking about this the other day. I don't know if it's because it's so hot here and football is like fall.

But man, I really, really want football to come back like now. You only have a couple months to wait. I know. Got a couple months. It is so hot here. It is so, and people listening in Houston are like, you know. It's record-breaking heat in Houston. I would imagine it's got to be close here for this area.

We had our record-breaking heat already. Their air temperature is like 105. You know what happens when you got that? I believe Sunday was the hottest it's ever been, or the hottest it's been there in like 20 years. You know what happens when you I believe Sunday was the hottest it's ever been Or the hottest it's been there in like 20 years You know what happens when you get that kind of heat In Wisconsin it melts the cheese You get nachos

What you do is you set a block of cheese That you purchased at the Myers Cheese Castle Don't know if you know this Jillian They let you like take a knife and take a piece of the actual castle home with you So we put it in a Ziploc bag We brought it home And then we sat it out on a porch And and we put it on top of some nachos, and we left the chips out.

And with the cheese on top, and the sun just melted it. Melted it right on top of the chips. It's a beautiful 80-degree day in Kenosha, Wisconsin right now. Yeah, but it's muggy. You know how it is. We get a little muggy. But it ain't bad. It ain't bad at all.

You know, we try to get by with everything. You know, we've. We get a little muggy, but it ain't bad. It ain't bad at all. You know, we try to get by with everything. You know, we've been watching the crew. You know, they're in first place. That ain't bad. You know, Aaron Rodgers went kind of crazy with that girl from the movies, but he seems to be getting normal. Let me tell you what I love about this Aaron Rodgers. He's with a crazier chick now.

Like, I don't know how you get crazier than Juergens or Shailene Woodley. Who's he with? This fucking random, like, she does all this weird shit. You haven't seen her? No, we don't. Our cable got cut off. We cut off our cable in the summer. I don't know why we would cut our cable off in the summer, but we do, you know, because we're traveling so much.

We cut the cable. And then we just watched a crew on a rabbit ears. So I didn't even know. I don't even follow the internets or anything like that, so I don't even know what Aaron Rodgers is up to. Someone told me that he's anti-vax. I said, hey, that's my guy right there. He said, I'm not going to get no vaccines.

And I said, hey, you got that. Her name is Blue, B-L-U of Earth. Blue of Earth, huh? Well, I prefer she be green of Earth like the Packers, but maybe she's like blue like Bernie Brewer. And she does not. By the way, don't know if you knew this, Jelly. I'm named after Bernie Brewer.

That's a fact. I bet. You know, when I was conceived, it was 1982. I was conceived. Actually, my parents gave birth to me right before the last pitch at a game seven of the World Series against the Cardinals. Right before Bruce Suter threw the strikeout, there came little Bernie Clapperton. There I was, 1982. There I was.

I came right out of there and they said, well, I mean, at least the crew made it to the World Series and should have won. What should we name this little shit? And then my dad suggested, well, you know, somebody from the brew crew. And she said, do you want to name our kid Robin Yount? And I said, no, no. How about we go with Bernie? Like Bernie Clapperton, you know, like Bernie the brewer. And that's how I got my name.

I'm Bernie Clapperton. And look at me. I'm about 40 years old now. My daughter Bernice and my wife bernadette and uh boy we got something special we really do go crew anyway but yeah raven rogers new girlfriend like has to be clarified she says i do not identify as a witch people that she's like a witch she's one of these wackos that has like face paint and praise and like to nature and shit i'm telling you the man gay. And there's nothing wrong with that.

But this man is a homosexual. I don't care that he is. Blue of earth. But I think he's a homosexual. But anyway, let's see. Have any thoughts on the new Texans alternative helmets? Of course, we mentioned that earlier. You got in a little late.

But yes, the helmets look good. Jilly believes that should be their full-time helmet. Yes, it should, and certainly more than just one day, one Battle Red Day. Who actually gives a shit about Battle Red Day? They usually play, I don't know, it's in November, right? Here's the thing, nobody gives a shit about any of their stupid days. Battle Red Day

or the Liberty Whiteout or Deep Steel Sunday, nobody gives a shit about any of that. It's stupid to use these for like, oh, it's Battle Red Day. We got our sweet ass helmets for week nine, Thursday night football against the Eagles. Look out guys. Yeah, no nobody gives a shit about that. And you're wearing

these on a Thursday night. Who the fuck cares about Thursday night football largely? Nobody. How about that? Those are always the most boring games. I think they're trying to remedy that this year. Like, because they used to be just divisional games, I believe. Yeah, it used to be Texans and Jaguars. So at least you get the Texans and Eagles this year.

Week 9, be there. Are the Eagles wearing their Kelly Green ones? Does that start next year? Well, I know they changed the font of their logo. Did you see that? I don't know if you saw that. I don't know if we talked about that. The Eagles have like a new what you call a watermark. They changed their logo from like what it's been since the mid 90s that eagles logo and font yeah to a different

eagles font because they i know they got approval for the kelly green but i don't know if it starts this year or next year yeah i don't know either trevor says next year well get ready for it kelly green's coming back and the patriots they're got their old school ones back too you know that uh they're all psyched up in philly because A.J. Brown says the quarterback doesn't suck. Like everybody, like there was some story about how Jalen Hurts sucked. And then A.J. Brown's like, that motherfucker don't suck. Let me tell you who sucks, Ryan Tannehill.

Yeah. Let me also tell you what's going to be- For comparisons. Like, well- I'm telling you what's going to happen. And I can see it. Generally speaking, when I make bold predictions, they come to fruition because I am awesome. A.J AJ Brown in

Philadelphia is going to be such a disaster it's going to maybe start out fast because a lot like a big game it's going to start out fast and they're going to love him and they're going to oh my god this is our guy and then when things start getting tough the fucking nut bar that is AJ Brown is going to emerge and he is a fucking nutty bar and it's going to blow up and it's going to be a thing of beauty watching all these McDougals who are blowing this guy right now turn on him real fucking fast, and they are going to. They open the season in Detroit, so it wouldn't surprise me

if A.J. Brown has like 150 yards, a couple touchdowns, just goes nuts, right? Yep. First game, they're going to love him, they're going to be all excited. And then by like week two. Yep. Oh, it's going down. It is going to be down. Or it's going to be like a Deshaun Jackson situation

where he's going to be really good and he's going to get hurt. Yeah. Josh, when are you going to turn on Michael Thomas? Don't I always turn on Michael Thomas? Yeah, you do make fun of Michael Thomas. Like, I don't like Michael Thomas. What have I told you guys that? Like, for the last year I haven't liked Michael Thomas.

Like, I hope that they win and I hope that he's good. It doesn't change the fact that I think Michael Thomas is an asshole. He's a nut. He's a fucking nutty bar. So I know you're trying to catch me in some sort of thing where you're like, oh, you're going to do that shit? No. I've already turned on the guy.

I do not like him. I forgot he existed. I hope he plays well. Me too. I was listening to some radio show the other day, and they're listing the best receivers in the NFL, and nobody brought up Michael Thomas because people don't remember he fucking plays it's been basically two years right year and a half yeah because he wasn't good the last year that Drew played because he was hurt and then he missed all of last year so the guy's been out of

sight out of mind I hope he's fucking great and I hope the Saints win 12 games 13 games they're not going to but I hope they are like speaking of the Saints I was looking at a um um I was looking at the um this list that's a big thing that's on Twitter today is this list of top 10 quarterbacks in the NFL and how uh basically how somebody I've got who Lamar Jackson being left off got people all angry they're all angry and you know what like like somebody I saw someone post his numbers against Ryan Tannehill in a playoff game that they lost, that the Ravens lost. And Lamar threw for like 350 and ran for 150. And Tannehill threw for 88 and won the game.

Like you can pull out any sort of cherry pick statistics you'd like to pull out. Like I'm not a fan of Lamar Jackson. But when you look at the top 10 quarterbacks in the league and you say, is he one of them? Probably because we're not in an era where there's a ton of good quarterbacks in the league. Like being top 10 right now does not necessarily make you an elite quarterback where about a decade ago, if you were in the top 10, you were probably pretty freaking good. If you were in the top five or six, you were elite because that was Drew Brees, Roethlisberger, early on Russell Wilson. If you want to go back a decade, you can go back towards the end of Peyton Manning.

And in 2011 and 12, Manning was a fucking rock star still and was in an elite level. Like those guys were elite Hall of Fame level guys. How many guys that are in their prime or young dudes right now would you consider to be like elite level quarterbacks like i guess tom but he's not old or young but like tom would be there and you put in aaron rogers you put in aaron rogers still you would put in now again this is a list from league executives coaches scouts and players here's the guys they have listed as the top 10 quarterbacks in the league, all right? Dak Prescott's number 10. Deshaun Watson's number nine. By the time he plays, he'll be three years out of the league. Russell Wilson, Justin Herbert, Matt Stafford, Joe Burrow, Tom Brady, Josh Allen, Pat Mahomes, Aaron Rodgers, right? How many of those guys are

truly elite quarterbacks and how many of them are there because the rest of the league kind of blows? Well, Dak would be in. Dak is no doubt someone who's a top 10 quarterback only because the rest of the league after the top 10 kind of sucks. And Deshaun, I mean, really Deshaun led the Texans to four wins. Correct. I mean, what has he done? Like he's good, but what has he done to really make him elite? Justin Herbert's good, but what has he done to really make him elite? Justin Herbert's the same. They've got Justin Herbert listed as the number seven quarterback and that's fine. But I would not say that Justin Herbert at this moment in his

life is an elite level quarterback. Matt Stafford, everybody used to shit on Matt Stafford. He goes to a loaded team and they win the Superbowl and all of a sudden Matt Stafford's the sixth best quarterback in the NFL. And I love Joe, but I don't even know that I'd consider him elite at this point. Well, that's the thing. Most of these guys aren't Hall of Fame elite yet, but they're the best of what's out there. So Josh Allen should be there and Mahomes should be there and Rodgers and Joe Burrow. If you say the top 10 guys that you would say are talented dudes, sure. But you start looking around the league.

You know what? There's no respect here for old davis mills no i bet you if they have if they actually have the top 30 on their listed he'd probably be like number 30 ish well he's gonna shock the world when the texans win the afc south and win me a hundred dollars but you start looking around the league though right like i'm trying to think of who the starting quarterbacks were in the nfl in say 2012 breeze is a hall of famer rogers is a hall of famer tom brady is a hall of famer there's three of them if they think matt stafford is elite then he was elite when he played in detroit so there's matt stafford big ben uh big ben would have been there was rusty in the league yet or no i think

he was a little bit later wilson i think but, you could go down the list of dudes who were elite quarterbacks. Even Phillip is a guy that they considered, you know, borderline Hall of Famer. Peyton Manning's another guy. Like, people get caught up in saying, oh, my God, this guy's a top-ten quarterback. Yeah, but what if everybody else just fucking sucks? Well, we went through this last season. Like, we were trying to name, you know, the AFCs stacked. And then you look at the NFC, and you're like, well, there's Tom and there's Aaron Rodgers.

Well, if you look at this list. And then for a moment, Tom was gone. Well, but then again, in the NFC, you also had Russell Wilson, who's now in the AFC. Matt Stafford is still in the NFC. But around the NFC, you've got in this list, you've got Dak, Matt Stafford and Tom and Aaron Rodgers. So four of the six are from the NFC. But two of those dudes, three of those dudes, really, and then Dax older, but not like, you know, pushing daisies.

Three are above 30. And Tom is 44 and Aaron Rodgers is 38. So like these are older dudes. There is nobody over in the NFC that you look at that's a young dude and you go, yep, that guy's the future of the NFC. Who is the future NFC star? It ain't Kyler Murray. It's not jalen hurts it ain't uh it ain't jamis winston oh jamis i do love him who was it that's now the quarterback

oh it's not baker mayfield in carolina so like just being a top 10 quarterback doesn't mean that you're great it just means that there's 30 some odd quarterbacks in the league and you just so happen to be stuck a little less you like You're in the top third of that, and then once you get to the bottom, you're talking about some shit stains. Davis Mills and Jameis Winston and Baker Mayfield and Ryan Tannehill. I'm not here for the Davis Mills slander.

You know what? I'm on his side. I hope he's good. I hope Davis Mills kicks ass. I hope he goes out and dominates. I hope he's a fucking monster, and I hope the Texans are good. He wasn't terrible last year. I want him to be good for old Lovey. I'm rooting Mills kicks ass. I hope he goes out and dominates. I hope he's a fucking monster, and I hope the Texans are good. He wasn't terrible last year.

I want him to be good for old Lovey. I'm rooting for Lovey. I am. Sorry, Daniel Jones we left out. Thank you, the real toaster head. Zach Wilson. Dude, that Zach Wilson story is fun, too. Zach Wilson allegedly fucking his mom's best friend.

Now they claim that didn't happen. You know what? I choose to believe think they claim all they want. That shit happened. I choose to believe it happened and I choose to believe it was beautiful boning. That's what I choose to believe. Good for him. That dude's a legendary if that's the case. Then just funny also how we view men differently than we view women. If that were like, you know, somebody, you know, like a dad fucking somebody, you'd be like, that's weird, bro. Like, like, you know, a 30 some odd or 40 year old dad banging some 20 year old chick. People go, oh, that's creepy and weird. But it's Dave, you know, it's a young dude banging a hot Cougar lady, apparently, maybe. And we're like, yep, that dude's a legend. And he is. That's cool as shit. Good for him.

Like, that's essentially the dream. Like, isn't it? Like, if your mom has a hot friend. Yeah. Now, his mom's hot. We all know his mom's hot. And if you didn't know his mom's hot, just go follow Lenny on Twitter. He'll tell you.

And Twitter will break it down for you. But if she's hot, more than likely she's got hot friends. And if that's the case, and this dude banged a hot friend, power move. Good question from Juke1990. Was it boning or soaking? Very good. Are they more? Oh, he went to BYU. Very good question.

Like, what if they did that? He just put it in there and didn't move. It just sat in there, soaking. no thrusting whatsoever. Bang. Here for that live. JC claims that he had sex with his mom's best friend and it wasn't great. You know what? I don't believe you on both fronts.

I don't believe you had sex with your mom's best friend. And if you did, I don't believe that it wasn't great. Just the idea of it was probably great, unless she was a heifer or something. Mormonism is a cult, says GoGoGadgetWang. Fun fact, all religions are cults, GoGoGadgetWang. So I'm not just going to throw the Mormons in there. Let's see. Soaking with jump assist. They soak and have someone else on the bed for friction. Oh, I know what it is. I've read the stories. Well, see, JC says she was big. Now, again, I don't it is. I've read the stories. Well, see, J.C. says she was big.

Now, again, I don't know how much I believe this story. People like to talk. J.C. is the one that told me that eggs were bad to eat after you drink, so I don't know that I can trust him for anything because eggs are my favorite drunken food. And they sure did not leave me with a hangover on Monday. Well, you also tell me that it's gross to eat ice cream while consuming alcohol and I beg to differ, Jilly. Because ice cream is delicious. I feel like a lot of people get drunk and eat breakfast

food. Well, most people if you go out and you get hammered, where do you go usually when you get hammered? A 24-hour diner. What do they usually have? Breakfast food. Pancakes, eggs, bacon. Yeah, my drunken foods are usually like back when I used to go out and do things. It was always breakfast food or tacos.

Yeah, that's what you have to do. Now, are they regular tacos or that delicious treat that is unique to San Antonio? The breakfast taco. Unique, just like, boy, imagine if Trump would have said that line. Well, really, though, the better was the Bogotas, the bodegas. Well, you know, you guys have the bodegas like truly the bidens are an embarrassment to society they're just dumb people they're stupid like they're they're brain dead idiot people i was actually texting with somebody today somebody sent me a random text a friend of mine and said uh was it

vince neal it was dude if it was vince neal that would be fun but it was not vince neal but a friend of mine sent me a text and said mike francesa voted for biden i said thanks for this information this is very random info but thanks and we got into a discussion about how um you need to just get rid of political parties i think it's all broken obviously it's broken just like melissa and alexandria it is broken and what you need to do is get rid of all these political I think it's all broken. Obviously it's broken. Just like Melissa and Alexandria, it is broken. And what you need to do is get rid of all these political parties because it's all been tainted, you know, like OJ, OJ needs to change his name or maybe do like a face off type of thing and have a whole new face. Cause as long as people know he's OJ, he's always going to be OJ. The Republicans are always going to be the Republicans and the Democrats are always going to be the Democrats. So here's an idea. Just eliminate Democrat and Republican and just let people run for office

that way. Again, I'm oversimplifying it. I am aware I am oversimplifying this, but why not that? Why not just say, get rid of this shit? And because everything's going to be tainted. People are going to be so fucking tainted. Like there might be a Republican with great ideas, but you know what? As long as these wacky liberals know that he's a Republican, they're going to say, fuck you just because he's a Republican. Same thing the other way. So let's get rid of the political parties and enroll with it that way.

There's an idea. I'm sorry that I'm so smart. Now, other stuff. We were having lunch today. We were lunching it up at this Cajun restaurant called The Lost Cajun. I think there's a couple of those in the Houston area. And it was Tuesday, so that means it was all-you-can-eat jambalaya, gumbo. Red beans.

Bisc. Lobster bisque. And you can just take them all and you can try them all if you want. So it's a nice Tuesday. And we're sitting there and this guy is a loud talker and he's having a conversation with some old lady at a table with him. I don't know who the old lady is, but she's sitting there with him. And he's explaining how he learned that he had six brothers and sisters, six siblings. Yep. Based on doing like a 23andMe DNA thing, like that documentary that we watched on Netflix.

Our father, yep. Where the guy, the dude that artificially inseminates women, was using his own specimen to impregnate these women. And as of right now, the dude's got like 100 kids or something, or 95 or something like that. And you go, you know, we should do this on the show for you. And I go, no, we shouldn't. Well, I do think it ruins lives because if, I mean, I wouldn't want to know if I had a sibling. Like family is nothing but drama.

Like I don't need to know that I've got like four other siblings running around. Like I don't want to meet them. I don't want to disrupt these people's lives. No. And like this guy was like, yeah, you know, one of the brothers, the oldest one's in Alabama. I'm down here. I got another one in Rochester. Another sister in Connecticut. She's in Millville, New Jersey. No, the dad lives in Millville. Is the dad Mike Trout? The dad is 80 and he's trying to get all the siblings together to surprise dad for his 80th.

You're going to kill that man. Now, I wonder if dad knows they exist. I don't know. I wouldn't want to know that shit everybody's happy or not knowing that like i don't know what it's like to not know who my dad is but if i don't know who my dad is i'm just gonna leave well enough alone and say you know what this is how it's meant to be and i've seen people like people eat this shit up on social media like guys found out i have a long lost sibling gonna go meet him guys i have a fucking like long like it's so stupid not interested if i don't want to know. I don't need other people in my life.

I am not here for that. You don't want any part of it. And I'm listening to this guy just continue to tell his stories. And he's so excited about it. Why do you want to meet these people? Just don't do it. But I know if we were to do that on the show, because you were like, hey, you should do that on here.

It'd be funny. Fuck the fuck it would. Well, because what's going to happen is, that thing's just going to were like hey you should do that on here it'd be funny fuck the fuck it would well because what's gonna happen is that thing's just gonna be like a it's gonna be like a telethon it's just gonna keep changing the number over and over like well there's two there's eight there's 14 like there's no doubt my dad's got kids somewhere out there that i don't know and he doesn't know and it's not gonna be my goddamn responsibility to find out that i got 14 brothers and sisters out there and have to go to my dad and be like hey dad can you explain this ain't my fucking job if those people want to find out they can find out I'm not going to be the one to fucking do it if I got an email and they're like hey uh I just did a test and it turns out

like we're related to be like all right go fuck yourself like whatever bro I'm gonna choose to not believe this and I'm to go about my life. I don't want to know you. Yeah. I have no desire to be your friend. None. I'm going to live my life. Why would you want to ruin our lives?

Like, I was watching that documentary, and to a degree, I thought those people that kept calling others were kind of assholes. Like, I'm like, I get that some of you are miserable, but some of the other people in that documentary seemed kind of okay. Had a nice life. They thought this was mom and this was dad. But that bitch that kept calling them was like, well, you're going to be number 75. I'm your sister. And here's your 74 brothers and sisters. Like, no, just let them be.

It's almost like this woman's so pissed off and miserable that it happened to her. So she's like, oh, you other motherfuckers are going to be miserable. And your life's going to be wrecked too. We're going to wreck shit and leave. If these people really didn't want to be alerted to this, then why take the 23andMe test? Why publish your stuff? Why put it out there for people to find you? That's true.

I don't want to know, so I'm not going to take it. But I think it would be funny on your end. Don't want to do it. Like, I would legitimately be nervous about that. Like, I would not do it. There's like, because I don't want to know know and there's something inside of me that tells me that there would be other shit what if we just played a prank on your dad though and pretended we did it um now that'd be fun like what if you like literally you're like dad have you heard of this like 23 and me do you think he's heard of it

no although he might have watched the documentary like he had a whole bunch of time to kill when his wife was out of town but from the sounds of it it just sounds like he was uh spending his time at mr gaddy's eating pizza for the most part when his wife was out of town you keep up that facade like if you just called one day and we're like hey um what we could really do is fuck with him and get somebody to play one of the people like dad on the phone this person claims to be your daughter. She did a 23 and me. And the girl starts doing Scooby voices and shit and just nails him.

That'd be great. She's like, I think I'm your daughter. Oh, yeah, really? Ha ha, why is that? Like, oh, shit. You might be. So we've got to find a chick who can do the Scooby voice. I don't want to know this life.

So I'd rather prank him with it than actually know it. Because I don't want to have to be the one that picks up the phone and calls my dad and says, Dad, guess what? You thought that you only had a couple of kids. Well, fun fact, there's 13 of them. Ish. There are 13 people. Jim can do it.

Yeah, maybe he'd have a son. Jim would be able to stay in character and nail it. Jim's brilliant. So I think Jim would nail that. So I think, well, I took a test and it says you're my dad. And like, hey, where were you born? Well, I was born in Billings, Montana. Oh, fuck.

When were you born in Billings, Montana? Sometime around, I was born on September you know, September 14th, 1994. See, that's what would make it better because you could actually, you know, have like the dates and stuff. And the random towns. Like, that'd be really fun. But that almost seems too damn cruel. Like, might give the poor bastard a heart

attack. Or it might lead him to say more He might be really excited about it because that's something he can post on social media. It's like, well, wait a minute, guys. I just found out I have a kid. Somebody earlier brought up the fact that this is the kind of shit you used to see on Unsolved Mysteries. There'd be like one or two stories on Unsolved Mysteries where long lost relatives found each other. Or like somebody was put up for adoption and she wanted to find her actual parents. And that would usually be an update on Unsolved Mysteries.

So maybe that would be it. It would be similar to that. Allie could be the daughter. I don't think Allie could keep a straight face. Allie would laugh immediately. Jim is perfect. He's a perfect human in every way. He's the perfect specimen. He could do it because he would never break character. He's a fucking god. Nobody else would be able to do it. Would Cindy freak out if you did this? I don't know. Maybe. I don't think she would because she wouldn't be

shocked. Yeah, I don't think she'd be shocked. She'd say, hell, I already knew that. Like, she probably already knows that there's something. But yeah, I think that... Or, yeah, see, M.W. Sogrove brings this up. Don't do it because Scott is going to start crying and say, I always wondered about her. Like, he would be like, oh, I knew. I knew she was there.

Like, he'll play along with it. Yeah, and they'll start, like, talking to Jesus. They'll be like, I told God put another kid in my life. But, Dad, we just found out there's 17 more. God put these 17 kids in my life for a reason. Like, I knew that Jesus would reunite us one day. As they're talking, Dad would be typing on Facebook. He'd be like, oh, boy, I just found out something.

And it'd be, like, 17 paragraphs long. And it would be about his newfound daughter, or in this case, Jim. That the Lord reunited him with. Because he would act like he knew that this kid existed the whole time. You know that, right? Oh, yeah. He'd just play like, I knew about that one. I knew.

We were going to go public with it soon. Yeah. Soon. Just like that time when Craig Gass gas called his gene simmons and he acted like he didn't believe it yeah when i talked to him because i knew it i knew it was him i just played along bullshit you bet your ass that's not how it went and you knew it you son of a bitch you but uh so that's something we'll plan but i but just to the reality of it i have no desire to know at all if i have any brothers and sisters out there.

You know, another fun story that happened yesterday that we didn't talk about yet is Ball Sack Sports. Oh, yeah. Good job by them fucking with all the mainstream media folks. And they posted a fake quote from John Morant. Yes. And the media just went with it. And they're debating it on ESPN. And it turns out it was completely fake.

Because people are fucking morons and they're lazy and they look for drama on social media and then they find it and they realize it's fake drama. That is not the first time that ESPN has fallen for a ball sack sports. God, it's like they need to start firing people. Like you guys are fucking stupid

and you need to start like being punished for your stupidity. There was some tweet that was really funny. It was like, you realize that ESPN employs about 8,000 people, you know, internationally and Ballsack Sports is one person. God, that's so good. And this one person just continuously finds ways. Like you could argue that some of the most powerful people

on social media right now, Ballsack Sports and that one gal that runs Libs of TikTok. Yep. And the one who does defiant l's oh yeah that's a good one defiant l's is actually my favorite follow on social media and i know that everybody follows it but defiant l's is so good it's just finding old tweets from people and pointing out their hypocrisy like a lot of times it'll be someone who's like government's not going to tell me you know or like the government should force people to get vaccinated during the Rona.

And then the next thing it'll be, you know, like a woman should have a say over her body, not the government, like that type of shit. Defiant L's is probably my favorite. Libs of TikTok is fun, but it's not as fun as Defiant L's because Defiant L's is such a subtle thing. It's just, hey, here's a tweet from someone back in 2018. Here's a tweet from somebody in 2022. And it's a completely opposite viewpoint. And it's great. I love it. And that's what I'm here for. But Ball Sack Sports basically made up a quote. Now,

the quote about Michael Jordan from John Morant was real, where he said he could take him. I think that was real. In context, he was take him. I think that was real. Well, that was, in context, he was saying that, like, you always have to have confidence in yourself. Like, whoever I'm saying I'm challenging one-on-one, I'm going to say I'm going to cook them. Correct. But then they all ran with it as that John Morant wants to beat, thinks he can beat Michael Jordan. Right. Or, like, challenged him to a fucking one-on-one.

Well, and then the quote that Ball Sack Sports put out was, if you put MJ in today's game, he's just another superstar. We got me, Steph, Luka, Dame, Trey, and then guys like Braun, KD, Giannis, Kawhi. It's not just one superstar and a bunch of, you know, average dudes, you feel? So it was like, John Morant calls MJ just another guy. Well, that's obviously not what he said. Nope. But it was on all day on ESPN. Yes, it was.

And then there was the other quote which was I forgot exactly what the quote was they ran with was that part of the one they ran with that was the quote they ran with but I just read you but that was a real quote no it wasn't okay I thought you said it was no the part he said was I wish I could have played in his generation I would have cooked him nobody got more confidence than 12 I'm never gonna say nobody gonna beat me one-on-one okay which fine that wasn't really like I'm better than Michael Jordan's like I'm always gonna say I'm never going to say nobody going to beat me one on one. Okay, which fine. That wasn't really like I'm better than Michael Jordan. It's like I'm always going to say I'm better than somebody. But then the one quote was fake, so they ran with it on Ball Sack Sports.

I'm sorry about MJ in today's game being just another superstar. How is it possible that this happens? Part of it is because everybody's cheap, and they don't hire good people. They just hire people that are cheap and dopes. So they run with the first thing they see on social media, and that's one of them. Defiant L's doesn't lean one way or another, which is fresh, says H-Town dude. That's not true, though. I very rarely see Defiant L's unless I just miss it. I don't believe Defiant L's post stories or the tweets from a right wing person being hypocritical. I don't think that's

the case. If I'm wrong, I'm wrong. but I don't think they, I think it's mostly posting the viewpoints of liberal politicians and celebrities and stuff. I don't think they offer an opinion either. For the most part, it's just those screenshots of those graphics they create. Outside of that, I don't believe that there's anything else involved in it. So, but it's brilliant and I appreciate the brilliance of it, which is pretty outstanding. Also, if you want to hear something outstanding, listen to one of the more recent PK and DK podcast. PK is a fucking savage.

He is. I fucking love this guy. If you guys don't follow the PK and DK podcast or subscribe to it, I think you guys should. I think they do a good job. It's a good little morning radio show there. But so Denise's grandpa died, right? And their dog is also old, like Kiki's like 15. So Kiki might kick it at some point soon too. And Denise is just obsessed with this dog. And it's great because PK is talking to her on there. And they were like, yeah, well, we had to

fly back from Portland and Denise had to fly to Dallas to be with her family because her grandpa's died. I had to go back to Houston to pick up this dog. And I'm like, Kiki, don't you fucking die on me right now. Not this week. And she's like, oh, God, PK. And I'm just laughing my fucking ass off. Like, it's so good. I love PK.

So you guys should make sure to follow them. They're sending us some stickers. We're going to do some sticking for them. Oh, we're going to? Great. And I think that, I don't know if Harold's in our chat right now, but Harold is, he was working on a damn QR code for us. He's going to make a QR code, make some stickers,

then we're going to start doing some sticking too. Because I'm not above stealing the bit of a friend. And they've gotten a lot of clicks off that thing. They said in the month of, I think, June, they got like 700 clicks or QR code scans just from those stickers, which is pretty fucking phenomenal. And that's what we're going to need to start doing more of

as we start pounding the pavement there a little bit and trying to build this thing up again. Branching out. Yep, and September's going to be good. Can't wait for it and get everybody involved and it'll be fun and life will be good and we're looking forward to it can i tell you someone who should kiss my balls by the way and kiss the collective balls of of of st louis people and cardinals people are just baseball people in general i don't remember his name but there was some jamoke all that this big lead up and let me find his fucking name because there's some ballsoke all that this big lead up and let me find his fucking

name because there's some balls he should be kissing this is the worst fucking opinion so there's a guy and he tweets okay his name is ryan spader which sounds like a fucking fake name but he's got a he's got a real profile his name is ryan m spader he is an mlB analyst, author, host, and statistician. He's a writer, Penn State alum, so he's a fucking Mick Yenzer, probably. And he's a veteran, so hey, thanks for your service. But, Semper Fi to you, friend. But Albert, his text or his tweet, Albert Pujols is a legend, but he doesn't deserve to be an All-Star, nor does he belong in the Home Run Derby.

Your opinion can pound sand. You were so excited when you found out Albert was going to be in the home run derby. Your opinion can pound sand. You were so excited when you found out Albert was going to be in the home run derby. Why not? Albert's got damn near 700 career home runs. He's got like five this year. But that's five in limited at-bats, and he's had a couple caught at the wall. Big fucking deal. I guarantee you in a batting practice setting, which home run derby is,

Albert will hit some fucking 500-foot fucking bombs. And you're excited for him. I am. Why not? He's a legend. Why does it matter? It's the home run derby is, Albert will hit some fucking 500-foot fucking bombs. And you're excited for him. I am. Why not? He's a legend. Why does it matter? It's the home run derby. Most of the time, people sit around talking about how shitty the home run derby is,

and you've got a guy with damn near 700 career home runs. You're going to bitch that he's in the home run derby? Fuck you. It's his last year playing baseball. He's an all-time great. He's arguably the best hitter of the last 20-plus years in baseball. So what if they put him in the fucking all-star game? They're doing it for Miguel Cabrera. He's a fat singles hitter now, but he's in the all-star game too. So who gives a fuck? What a dope. Everybody's trying to find ways to make the

all-star game more interesting. Oh yeah, let's put in some slapdick all-star that no one's ever heard of. Or you can have fucking Albert Pujols hitting home runs in the home run derby. Give me that. That's what I'm here for. And maybe he'll suck. I don't think he will. It's batting practice. Everything I've heard from people that, you know, I've talked to some buddies of mine, they're like, dude, and I've listened to some of the games. And the guys are like, dude, in batting practice, Albert, he's just hitting fucking bombs. Just fucking bombs. And that's all it is, is hitting bombs in batting practice for the home run derby. So go for it. Will you be putting money on Albert for the Home Run Derby? Yes. Although I'm planning

on taking a gambling break until football starts. Oh, okay. I've heard that before. No, but I am, though. I am. I just want to take a break, enjoy the rest of the summer, get back in the gym, try to lose a couple pounds because I'm a fat fucking slob. I feel miserable. You've had your fill of MLS betting. I have. I have. I've just had enough. I don't want to do it for a while. Okay.

I want to recharge my batteries. I know that you'll bet on like baseball and shit. I'll follow whatever you bet. That's fine. I'll hang with you. But I'm just going to take a break from it. I'm going to step back. Right?

Because what is today? The 12th? 13th? Whatever it is in July. The 12th. Football starts basically in two months, right? Or college starts in like seven weeks. Yep.

Six weeks, whatever it is. LSU plays Florida State the opening weekend. That's like September 4th. Okay. Like, I'm just taking a step back. I don't feel like doing it. I feel like going back to the gym and losing some weight. I feel miserable.

Look at these juicy fucking titties. What have you been saying for the last three weeks? I'm so fat. But there's been reasons. I feel miserable. Look at these juicy fucking titties. What have you been saying for the last three weeks? I'm so fat. But there's been reasons why I haven't. Why this week? Well, this week I've had like just like these sinuses or whatever. Oh, okay. It's always something.

Well, no. What happened? There was a reason yesterday. What was the reason? You didn't feel like it is literally what you told me. I mean, it's a good enough reason. But like I'm going to get back in there. I just want to just free my mind here. got to focus on the pod see if we can

find some sponsors re-up some people we're going to be you know dissolving our business and going back in a different direction with it because I'm not going to get bent over and get fucked by the state of Tennessee with their stupid fucking taxes. Yeah definitely that takes a lot longer than I thought initially the way Texas does it which is where we initially started this. Texas fucking rules

Tennessee blows with this shit so I'm not here for that where we initially started this. Texas fucking rules. Tennessee blows with this shit. So I'm not here for that. So we're going to dissolve our fucking business. I got to start that. And I'm going to find some other, you know, we're probably going to do it via like PayPal and our business. So I'm done. So I got to start thinking of these ways.

I got to start planning for this shit down the line because September's coming up before you know it. So I'm going to take a break from this shit and you can hold me to it. Just hold. That's fine. Hold me accountable for it. I don't want to know it. So I'm going to take a break from this shit and you can hold me to it. That's fine. Hold me accountable for it. I don't want to do it. So starting whenever, today, tomorrow.

It's hard to hold you accountable for it before because there's been times before where you've said, I'm not betting anymore and then you're like on your phone and then I know what you're doing, but then you lie. And I'm not going to be like,

Josh, let me see your phone. You're like my gambling sponsor right now. But I know you snuck it in there before. I will, but I don't want to. The thing is, though, I don't want to do it. I'm weird. I need someone to hold me accountable for shit. I am not a self-accountable person when it comes to this kind of shit.

So you just say, don't do it. I'll say, fine. I want to make you proud. But I've said that before where I'm like, what are you doing on your phone? I'm texting Martin. Like, no, you're not. You're very clearly on fucking i'm texting martin like no you're not you're very clearly on fucking and i certainly don't like doing it during the day i'm certainly tired of doing that and i really don't want to do it at night so i'm going to take like you know six

seven weeks off kind of recharge my batteries and get ready for the football season then what i'm planning on doing my plan that i just came up with 10 seconds ago was to like start the football season and put in $100. That's it. And that's it. I'm going to see. We're going to keep tabs. Here's where I get myself in trouble.

I just bet constantly. If I just bet on shit I like, I tend to do well. The first time I ever started sports betting, 2012, I think is when it was, or 11. I forgot which year. LSU was playing Mississippi State. It was a Thursday night game. LSU was a six-point favorite, it was, or 11. I forgot which year. LSU was playing Mississippi State. It was a Thursday night game. LSU was a six-point favorite, I believe, or four, something like that. And I bet on LSU to cover.

I put in $100. I won. I have $190. I shit you not, that $100 eventually became like $3,500. And then for the first time ever, I blew all that too, which I have a history of doing. But if I just focus on shit and just pick games I like and not like well this is the game that's happening bet bet bet bet bet oh there's some fucking Russians a soccer but no I just you know I'm saying at least if it's a game you're watching throw like two bucks on that's what I did I've only put 100 in my account and

I'm back up to like 580 you rule no one's disputed that but like I am mediocre you can still play like you know but I don't want but again I don't want to a random Thursday night football game yeah that's what I'm saying that's fine but I don't want to. A random Thursday night football game. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. That's fine. But I don't want to do it for the next seven weeks. I just want to take some time off. I was just saying there's ways to do it without being obsessed with it. And it's also, I think it'll coincide with DraftKings coming back, too, as a sponsor.

They kind of recycle on the radio. And that, I think, starts up again in either August or September. So I'm just trying to take some time, just take some time off from it, go to the gym, live my life. That's all. That's what I'm working on here. And then in football season, maybe that's a bit we do. We keep tabs on each other's bets there and we see how each one of us is doing.

Then we talk with dad, do Scott's. Like I think we're going to do Scott's picks from his ass on the pod because it doesn't work on the radio. Like I could do like one pick with him and then I have to play fucking Jay Giles band. Like, I love all these PDs. They're like, why don't you do some bits? I don't know chief. Cause I get to talk for two fucking minutes. What bit can you do in two fucking minutes? Like the bit, like the reason Scott's picks from his ass works is because it's like 11, 12 minutes of my dad being a fucking moron it's a funny bit two minutes of my dad is just like well here's dad's pick all right bye dad spends two minutes blowing himself before he even starts making two minutes here and then another 30 seconds here and another minute here and then before you know that you've broken it up to an

hour and it's just like too long yes i try to explain that to these guys well what this would be a great bit yeah it would if you let me fucking talk for a long time. So I don't know what to tell people on that stuff. Now I'm being ornery, and I shouldn't do that. What do you think is worse, this January 6th nonstop trials or the Amber Heard and Johnny Depp trials? Because I think they're close. January 6th.

But is the Heard thing over? It is, but I mean just comparing the two. Because that thing went on forever. January 6th. But is the herd thing over? It is, but I mean just like comparing the two. Because that thing went on forever. January 6th, nobody gives a fuck. It's like nobody cares. Like get on with it. And now this is going on forever. Yeah, just get the fuck on with it.

Nobody cares. We get it. It's a Trump witch hunt thing. Fine. I don't give a flying rat's ass. I do not care. Figure something else out. Do something else.

But I'm with the January 6th stuff sucks. The herd thing was interesting for like two minutes. And then it was like, why is this shit taking so goddamn long? It took forever. Yes. So on that note, boy, this room is dry. Boy, my throat's a mess. Yeah, my mouth is not.

Tomorrow on Amazon Prime Day, I'm going to order 17 humidifiers. Well, why don't order them today if they're on special? Have you been checking the lightning deals? I've been looking, but I mean, like there's today, tomorrow, whenever. I'm just saying I got to look. You don't want to miss it. That's true. But we also have another humidifier in the other room that I might.

We have like two other ones that you never plug in. All right, well, maybe I'll start. This towel's sitting right here waiting for it. That's a good point. All right. On that note, then we're going to get out of here. We have to tell them about Aqueduct. Oh, yes. Aqueduct Plumbing Company. I want to go dunk my head in the toilet right now. It's wet in there. But that's our friends over at Aqueduct Plumbing Company. That is Billy and his sister, Mary. They're in the Houston area. 281-488-6238, 281-488-6238, or aquaductplumbingcompany.com, of course. And they do everything, re-pipes, leak detection, camera inspection, plumbing fixtures, water heaters, tankless water heaters, water filters, drain cleaning. They'll do it all for

you, and they are great. And for a re-piping quote, I mean, re-piping is something people need, go to their website and click the free quote link there. But it's our friends over at Aqueduct Plumbing Company, 281-488-6238, AqueductPlumbingCompany.com. See, look at that. There's an air purifier, normally $89.99, a lightning deal right now for $62.99. Tabletop one for in here boy there's also you know 23 and me on sale i don't want a 23 and me 199 normally currently 98 99 on this lightning deal how about

that it's funny that that just pops up well anyway humidify like they know man they fucking know well now we know all right we'll see you guys tomorrow