The Josh Innes Show - JIS: Therapy Session

Episode Date: August 4, 2022

Josh Innes and Jilly open the show discussing National Chocolate Chip Cookie Day. Somehow this becomes a heated debate. This transitions into Josh explaining why he feels like he's been awful at his job lately. This is the therapy session. Boosie Badazz is not pleased with Brittney Griner's sentence. Is there a greater feminist than Boosie? Josh has a great idea about how to avoid getting arrested in Russia. Josh knows how to punish Deshuan Watson. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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everybody and welcome in. It's the Josh and his show. It's Josh and Jilly and boy we've got great shit for you today. First of all, it's National Chocolate Chip Cookie Day. Jilly does not like chocolate chip cookies, so this day is not for you. Well, I like them, but they're not my favorite. I prefer to have a chocolate chip cookie without the chocolate chip.

But how do you do that? You bake them yourselves and you don't include the chocolate chips. So, well, I don't do that. I buy the roll. I've done that many a time. Well, I buy the roll and I eat that damn thing. chips. So, well, I don't do that. I buy the roll. I've done that many a time. Well, I buy the roll and I eat that damn thing. I eat them bitches.

Yeah. Boy, we got Boosie for you in a few minutes. Oh, shit. Boosie's got Brittany Griner thoughts today. And I am so excited about it. Nothing makes me happier than Boosie when he has thoughts. And now he has thoughts on Brittany Griner. I mean, this is lit.

This is the definition of lit. He is pissed off today. We got that. I can't wait to see Deshaun Watson go down in flames. I hate these Cleveland people with a passion, but I always seem to get myself into the Cleveland heat because I just despise them, and I think they're losers. But we got that to get into today.

Are the Astros, they don't play Cleveland this weekend, right? The White Sox. Yeah, they play Cleveland at 6 o'clock today. Okay, that's who they play. So even more reason to hate them. Why do we hate Cleveland? We just do. But we got that.

Boy, we are loaded with stuff today. Best chocolate chip cookies, though. Let me give you a quick ranking on chocolate chip cookies here, because I am a chocolate chip cookie connoisseur. Earlier today when we talked about it on the radio show, Battle brought up the double tree cookies. Those have nuts in them. Those are not real chocolate chip cookies. Real chocolate chip cookies do not have nuts in them. So those are our wash. They're out. Now, if I had to rank them and say the best chocolate chip cookie that's out there, the absolute best is the Potbelly Oatmeal Chocolate Chip Cookie.

Does that count as a chocolate chip cookie, though? Why wouldn't it? It's an oatmeal chocolate chip cookie. It does. So it's not your traditional chocolate chip cookie. But there's not like an extra thing in there. It's not like, you know, there's nuts or like raspberries or something. Well, I feel like if oatmeal chocolate chip counts, then nuts and chocolate chips count, too.

Nope, that's not how it works. There's extra stuff in there, and there's oatmeal in there. That's not how it works. Listen,. Well, I feel like if oatmeal chocolate chip counts, then nuts and chocolate chips count, too. Nope, that's not how it works. There's extra stuff in there, and there's oatmeal in there. That's not how it works. Listen, Jillian, I don't make the rules. You do, and your rule is stupid because literally it's an added ingredient. But I don't consider oatmeal to be an added ingredient. It's an oatmeal cookie, but with just chocolate chips in it. Therefore, it becomes a chocolate chip cookie.

But that's not a chocolate chip cookie. If it were oatmeal raisin, it would be a raisin cookie. You see what I'm saying? Does that make sense? Yeah. No hybrid cookies. Everyone agrees. I think that's bullshit, and I think people have bad opinions.

That's not a chocolate chip cookie. If you walk into Potbelly and say, can I have a chocolate chip cookie, they'll be like, we don't have chocolate chip cookies. Yeah, they would. I'd say, I want a chocolate chip cookie, and they'll know what I mean, because there's a spoken language between us at Potbelly. First of all, we can't go into Potbelly, because there's one damn Potbelly in all of Nashville. This gigantic city has one, count it, one Potbelly.

It's a large, major American city and it's got one Potbelly and it's in like a horribly busy part of town that's impossible to park. There's no parking or anything. But the chocolate chip cookies are spectacular there. It's not a chocolate chip cookie. Okay. And I agree. The oatmeal chocolate chip cookies are delightful there.

I love those. And I'm not even a huge chocolate chip person, but the oatmeal chocolate chip at Potbelly are fucking phenomenal. And you can get the little mini ones that come in the bag of like 12. But those are not chocolate chip cookies. Also, I would go second in this is the Chick-fil-A chocolate chip cookie.

That bad boy, when they bring it out in the little baggie and it's hot, fantastic. One of my favorite fatty treats to get is go through the drive-thru over at Chick-fil-A, right? You go to Chick-fil-A, you get a chocolate chip cookie. Then you get the ice cream in the little cup and you mash up the chocolate chip cookie in the ice cream and you have a delicious treat. Well, that's the whole thing trending now about

is how these Chick-fil-A menu hacks and someone suggested like them themselves. I think actually it's Chick-fil-A put out the list. So to order the ice cream and the cookie, but to make a sandwich. Oh, well, see, I saw that a couple of days ago. It was like on TikTok and that's awesome. Cool hack. But I mean, I do it the other way too. As Juke brings up, that also has oats in it. But on the sign, it says chocolate chip cookie. It doesn't say oatmeal chocolate chip. So by the logic that we're fighting over here, it's well, it can't be chocolate chip

if it's got oatmeal in it or if it's not called chocolate chip. It is called chocolate chip and there are certainly oats in that cookie and it's delicious. Well, the texture of an oatmeal cookie though is so much different. Like I even think like the Chick-fil-A one, I guess there's a few oats in it. and it's delicious. Well, the texture of an oatmeal cookie, though, is so much different. Like, I even think, like, the Chick-fil-A one, I guess there's a few oats in it.

I don't know. But that at least, like, looks and feels like a chocolate chip cookie. The Potbelly ones do not look and feel like chocolate chip cookies. Number three would be the chocolate chip cookie from Subway. If it is done right. Now, I've been going to Subway over here every time we go and they kind of burn the cookies, those sons of bitches. But if you get them perfectly doughy and delicious they're very good and they're

a good bargain chocolate chip cookie they're no frills bargain chocolate chip cookies like half a dozen for like three bucks that rules too i love their oatmeal raisin cookies um and then i would also throw in like people are bringing up great American cookie company. And okay, I got an argument to make here because I think we're dealing with semantics here, but I'll dig into this argument because I'm here to fight this. All right. The question, the statement is, so the ones with nuts are still chocolate chip cookies. That is false because I don't consider oats to be an ingredient of the cookie. If that makes sense or an additional thing, right?

A normal chocolate chip cookie does not have oatmeal in it. But oats are not like a typical thing where you go, hey, I'm going to add oats to my cookie. It's not like a chocolate chip or a raisin or a macadamia nut or something like that. If you consider these oatmeal chocolate chip cookies to be a chocolate chip cookie, then you have to consider a chocolate chip cookie with nuts to be a chocolate chip cookie. Well, I don't consider that, and i think it's gross and there shouldn't be nuts anywhere near chocolate chips that's not the way this should work but all that said

i would also throw in great american cookie company and i would take the cookie cake which is a chocolate chip and get a little icing on there and it's delicious and they put it in a little box and you get the little box and then you go eat that, get yourself a nice little treat and it's delicious. So thank you. MW Soulgrove says, Josh, you're literally Hitler. You're literally Hitler, you son of a bitch. I know what I like. Huey Lewis style, baby. I know what I like. And what I like is my chocolate chip cookies. They have no nuts anywhere near the chocolate chips. You don't have to like them, but they are still considered chocolate chip cookies. have no nuts anywhere near the chocolate chips. Well, that's fine. You don't have to like them, but they are still considered chocolate chip cookies if you are considering an oatmeal chocolate chip cookie to be a chocolate chip cookie.

I disagree. You don't have to like them, but they are, based on your description of the oatmeal chocolate chip cookie, then a chocolate chip cookie with nuts is in fact a chocolate chip cookie. Went away, haven't seen you in a while. How you been? So let's leave it alone, cause we can't see eye to eye.

I get why that guy told you to shut the fuck up today. That's a stupid fucking point. Don't be a bitch, Jilly. We're talking with our friends right now. This is not 105.9 The Rock where I have no friends. This is our friends. This is our trust tree and our circle. How dare you bring up the person that called 105.9 The Rock where I have no friends. This is our friends. This is our trust tree and our circle. How dare you bring up the person

that called 105.9 The Rock and told me to stop talking about my fucking dog. Nobody cares and play music. That's bitchy. That is a low blow. Even for you. Even for you that's a low blow. I don't have to take this shit. That is inappropriate. I'm with

my friends right now. These are like my most loyal companions. They're ride or dies. And you bring up some hillbilly that calls 105.9 The Rock and says, we don't give a shit about your dog. Play fucking music. Live on the air. So I had to dump the whole damn segment too. Well, our friends here seem to agree that a chocolate chip cookie with nuts

would in fact be a chocolate chip cookie. Fuck these people. They're stupid. We've established that. They're morons. There are morons, but they're morons nonetheless. I think you're outnumbered here. Am I?

Yeah. Especially if you're going to claim the oatmeal chocolate chip as a chocolate chip cookie. It's called oatmeal chocolate chip. So is a chocolate chip cookie with nuts. But nuts are a separate thing. So is oatmeal. No one says, hey, I would like a chocolate cookie with nuts but nuts are a separate thing so is oatmeal no one says hey i would like you know a chocolate cookie with extra oats that's not how it works but you can say i want a chocolate cookie with like you know uh with like peanuts in it that's fine oats are not a thing they are i mean it's a whole different texture of a cookie

go go gadget wang says the hillbilly has a point people who talk about their dogs endlessly are They are. I mean, it's a whole different texture of a cookie. Go Go Gadget Wang says, The hillbilly has a point. People who talk about their dogs endlessly are boring. I don't fucking like you. I'm going to shoot you straight. Eat a dick, friend. I don't like you. I'm already,

I had to be on the fucking couch with my fucking program director today getting counseling about how I fucking hate my job and I suck at it. And I got this motherfucker in here telling me that I'm fucking boring. Eat all the dicks

motherfucker anyway what were you gonna say um i was gonna say the thing about us though it's funny is like we don't really do much anymore so when we're like looking for stories about our lives they in fact do all revolve around our dog yes and by the way like my boss says talk about your life so i talk about i have to go pick up my's shit today to take it to the vet for an exam. We don't care about your fucking dog, this guy says. Then good. Get a fucking iPad or an iPhone or a fucking CD player and listen to your fucking John Mellencamp on your own fucking time. This is Josh Ennis fucking time, Fred.

See, I thought about that, too. It's funny because, like, everyone says talk about your life. And, like, that's how I used to do all of my shows all the time talk about your life but now like i have no fucking clue what to do we don't really have a life i have no clue what to do i get in there every morning i'm like do these 50 year old assholes that listen to this radio station that call and tell me to go fuck myself like do they like give a shit about what's happening in my life? Hey, I sat around today and bet on European soccer. Then I picked up my dog's shit and took it to the vet. Hey guys, 713-572-4610. So you're back to betting on European soccer?

Oh no, that was just an example. I'm not doing that. So the hiatus is over. No, no, I'm telling you, I'm not actually doing it. My point is that's like in the last year that we've lived here, that's what I've done. As I've bet on soccer and that and like and we pick up our dog shit that's basically it well like today for this this whole week for example like you decided we're gonna eat lunch at home like we're gonna make some grilled salads we're gonna

do all this stuff yep and i've realized in the four days that we've done this i get really bored when we don't run out to get something for lunch. Yeah. I mean, look, it is what it is. But, like, the idea that, like, you tune into this radio station. You know there's a morning show. You know that morning show talks. Yet, like, you take the time and call and say, hey, you fucking suck, dude. And, like, play music. Like, you literally have a thousand ways to get music. You only have one way to get Josh Ennis, and that's to listen to the fucking radio station.

Well, two, there's this podcast. But I also told you this this morning. You have to remember, like, of all the people that listen to the radio, and they are good ratings, so people are listening. We're number one. Somehow. The people that like it aren't going to call. Oh, I get that. But, like, it was just in that moment.

But it's just typical Josh where one guy calls, and you think, oh, everyone wants me to shut up. But no, that set me off. But it's been in my head for a while i told you i made the mistake of listening to the old opie and anthony shit it just popped up on youtube and i said that sounds funny and then i listened to it and i go this shit's funny and then i go with these guys listen to the shit that i'm doing now and think it's good and then i said to myself no they wouldn't you suck and then it's gotten me spiraling i've spiraled a little bit over the last like two weeks. Definitely has. To the point that I was laying on the couch and my boss was always supposed to have a

meeting about whatever we're doing. I'm literally laying there like I'm in therapy. Like I don't know what to do. Like I get in there in the morning and I don't know what to do. I literally sit there. I get there at 445. I have an hour and 15 minutes to sit there and think about what to do. And I don't know what to do.

I just sit there and go, Josh, do you talk about your fucking dog again? Like, do you talk about like Jonathan goes, well, what about when you first got here and you saw that turkey? And that was a great conversation. I can't talk about seeing a turkey all the fucking time. Like, I have nothing going on. We don't really have any good stories anymore. It's not like, you know, back in the day,

we'd all go out and there'd be fucking, like, drunken shenanigans. And by the way, these people wouldn't, that's the other issue I have is they wouldn't care. Like, why would some 50-year-old guy listening to 105.9 The Rock be like, oh, I want to hear about the drunken shenanigans of some asshole. They're like, no, I'm just driving to work and I want some hillbilly games and contests where we give away hot sauce and shit like that's what they want they want John Boy and Billy the show that was on before me they want like yeah man I'm in my car and like the guy that called that one time and was like hey can

you play some more games we like games I'm like well Tex I don't play games probably like prank calls too I don't know if they do that they may um but yeah anyway so i'm just in my own i'm not trying to rip anybody here i'm just in my like radio wise podcast wise i'm fine radio wise i'm in my own head like for the last two weeks if you guys want the truth i am deep in my own fucking cranium good news what's that you're only four months away from playing santa drove a general lee and they love that that's true i should just bring my dad in for an appearance hey do you want to meet the guy who's responsible for if santa drove the general lee well good news everybody

it's about to be that season i mean that it yeah it is i need dad to come up with a duke's hazard halloween song yeah and uh thanksgiving song and then all my bases are covered if pocahontas drove the general lee if john smith drove the general lee how cool would that be and then for halloween it'd be like you know if frankenstein drove a general lee, bam, I'm covered. Saying the man says how much more until shots. Well, fucker, I got the bottle, and I might be in the mood to do it. I don't give a fuck. Oh, boy.

Like, I might need it to chill myself out. Roddy Richard says maybe play Go Hog sound by radio more, and then all the listeners will love you. Yeah, I don't know. That's the problem I'm running into is. Go Hogs. I don't know what, what like i don't know what this audience likes i'm used to talking to an audience now granted this audience is actually far younger than i give it credit for it is but like on sports i knew that it was ranging from like 18 year olds to like 60 year olds but i knew there'd be a large number of people who are around my age that were listening

to it and they would kind of get what I was doing. In my mind, what I'm sitting there doing now is just kind of talking to old dudes. So I have to find conversations that relate to old dudes, which I can do because I'm a fucking chameleon. I'm a fucking soldier. I can adjust to any of that shit, but I don't know if it's good or not. Like, that's the issue I run into every day. Well, you still have a job and you have the number one show.

Oh, and I'm not complaining about the, it has nothing to do with the job. I want to be clear. I'm not bitching about it. I'm glad to have the job. Well, that's what I'm saying. You're asking yourself. I'm just in my own fucking head about what's good and what's not. But you're asking yourself if it's good.

Is this good? Well, you're still employed, and you have the number one morning show in Nashville. So, yeah, obviously it's good for what people want. I guess. And I appreciate you helping me with that. And I would call, like you can relate to it because you're a radio person. And my dad would be, right? And I would think

I'd call my dad and see if he could help me. Like, hey dad, can you help me kind of level out? But all it would be is, hey dad, so I got that Josh, you're not going to believe this, but hey buddy, I'm sitting here and I've got Greg Kin from the Greg Kin Band on the phone right now, and we're talking about Jeopardy. So I'll call you back later, buddy, and then I'll never hear from him. Like, I don't have that kind of deal.

Like, that's the problem that I have with my dad is, in theory, it'd be like you would think that, like, what's the Shanahan kid's name? What's a Kyle Shanahan. Kyle Shanahan could call his dad, Mike Shanahan and ask about coaching and shit because his dad was a coach and they could probably shoot the shit about like, dad, I got this question, this question, this question. And they can figure it out with my dad. It would be, Hey dad.

So I got this issue. He goes, yeah, buddy. I don't know. I don't know what to tell you but um you know I had a panic attack again like it would all the sudden shift back to my dad so I don't have that so then I'll ask Andy and then I'll ask Andy he goes

well you could be like me and be out of the game I'll be like fuck just someone tell me what to do get out of your own head that's what you do how is it even possible shots are how it's possible to anyway I could tell that you were going nuts this week because we drank on Tuesday, right? Or was that Wednesday? Tuesday.

Tuesday. We drank on Tuesday for the trade deadline. And then even last night, you're like, should we get more wine and drink tonight too? Should we drink on Thursday? I'm like, well, I kind of want to save my alcohol consumption for Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. And I'm like, I don't. I want to drink every night. And you're over here like, let's drink on Tuesday.

I'm like, well, Friday's all right. I want to drink the pain away. Friday mornings are my busy mornings. Like, I don't. I want to drink every night. And you're over here like, let's drink on Twitter. I'm like, well, Friday's alright. I want to drink the pain away. Friday mornings are my busy mornings. Like, I don't want to I just want to sit here and get bombed every night and wake up and go. Ugh, boy. Then my birthday's in a week. Yeah, it is. And then I think I'm dealing with that to a degree

too. Like, I feel like I'm old. Like, I sit there and I'm like, no longer are my shenanigans cute. I'm just an old son like I sit there and I'm like no longer are my shenanigans cute I'm just an old son of a bitch now is I'll always be older I guess there's that thank you there you go I feel so much better now you old bitch you should make me feel so much better I guess we'll have to do like a birthday party on twitch because we don't do real people parties we just have twitch parties yeah so maybe next Friday again, your birthday's on Thursday but I really don't want to get wasted on a Thursday

night because I have too much to do on Friday. We just take Friday off. Say fuck it. I'm getting hammered on my birthday and I'm sleeping. And you know what my birthday present to me is? Not getting up at 4 o'clock in the morning to the sounds of Vince Neil singing you're invited but your friend can't come. That's what it is.

That actually does happen. Have you told that story? What's that? About how that's my alarm? That's your life, yeah. Hey guys, my alarm is you're invited but your friend can't come. See, that would probably be a good topic

because I bet that these people, these old men who you think are the only ones listening, they probably still have ringtones. They probably still have flip phones, Jilly. Like their ringtones are 8-bit ringtones it's like their ringtone is free bird but like nintendo free bird there you go what's your they play snake jelly like that's like the people that call not the listeners the people who call in bitch yep that's what they do and honest to god though most of the people are very nice and they love

what we do right but like on occasion like this has just been a bad, like week and a half for me for whatever reason. Like, if we're being honest, I've been just fucking locked like in my own like head. Right. And like certain things will just set me off. Like when this guy called today and I was live. So like my boss is like, take more live callers. And I'm like, all right, I'll do that.

And I take them shut up about your fucking dog and play some fucking music. So I just slam my fucking hand on the console. I'm like alright I'll do that and I take them shut up about your fucking dog and play some fucking music so I just slam my fucking hand on the console I'm like fuck and then of course I had to dump all of this because you know and that's the other thing is nobody heard the call because I dumped it so it just sounds like I'm going fucking nuts hitting shit because nobody knows why and then of course you have to

post about it on Facebook why would you do that because I was just in my head today. I told you this last week and a half. You just got to stop posting on social media. You got to stop being so negative. I'm usually positive. The last three weeks, you've been posting every time, and it's probably been the same

guy every time. Every time someone calls in, oh, I said this, you're back to, oh, it was me. I told you I'm in a bad place radio-wise mentally. So stop posting about it. How do I get out of it? What do I do? Stop posting about it, first of all. That's fine, but how do I get to the root of the problem?

That's what I'm trying to figure out. Again, you realize you have the number one show. You're still employed. So obviously what you're doing doesn't suck. Go out. It could be something to that. And so if you're in sports radio, okay, so what? Then they call and say, shut the fuck up and talk

sports. It's the same shit. This is nothing new. You're absolutely right, my angel. You're right. But I do think you need to stop posting that shit. Like it's, ugh, back to Oh, woe is me, Josh, on social media. You may put a bootsie for like posting hate tweets and hate texts. Like you're doing the same thing

I don't know I think part of it is I think I get bored and I need drama I don't know But anyway read another book says Stang the man well I do have a kindle now So I can very easily order And I got that Rick Ross book I think it's time I read the Rick Ross book Maybe just reread the Taffer one

I mean I still have to finish that I still have like a chapter left But I think I need to read the Rick Ross book. Cause he'll teach you how to be a boss, you know? So we'll see. Anyway, stuff going on today.

I promised you Boosie badass who is never at a lack of confidence. This guy never has a situation where he asks people about anything. Cause he is just a bad motherfucker and he is all about Boosie and he knows what he's doing. So Boosie has thoughts on Brittany Griner, right? Now, today's theme was initially supposed to just be, I don't care. I don't care. That was going to be the theme of today because Brittany Griner, nine and a half years of jail, she ain't going to go to jail for nine and a half years.

But if she did, you know what? I don't care. I mean, it's Russia. She may. You know, years but if she did you know what i don't care i mean it's russia she may you know and if she does tough shit i don't care like that's how i feel about it like i just don't give a shit i don't view it as some sort of great uh you know a negative statement about america or anything else you went to russia you got popped with something like do you should you go to jail for nine years no but you know what it fucking happened it ain't me so i don't care i honestly believe that if the people like on the internet didn't blow this up and make this a huge thing the people in russia may have actually been like oh hell like

whatever but because it became such a huge like international issue of course they're gonna send her to prison for nine years yeah well you know people are morons and everything's not gonna look weak no and by the way here way, here's my solution. I have a great solution for not going to Russian prison for nine and a half years. Don't go to fucking Russia. Well, the argument. I have no reason in my, like at no point have I ever said, you know what I want to do today? Go to fucking Russia.

Well, the argument, of course, that you'll get back from the internet is, well, if she was, you know, paid like an NBA player, she wouldn't have to go to Russia to play games and make money. Well, if she had a dick or the right chromosomes, she could probably play in the NBA and would make a lot more money. Unfortunately, she pays in the WNBA, which is paid for by the dudes with dicks. So I'm sorry you happen to play in a league that nobody gives a fuck about but anyway my favorite thing though is also like again just like reading like tweets and stuff about the subject is like the people who are like man i'm never going to russia now like now so you had plans to go to russia before this yep i had big plans i bought 14 parkas and i was ready to go to

russia like who wants to go to russia other, of course. And he had to do that to defend America via boxing. And avenge the death of his best friend. But anyway, so Boosie has thoughts on Brittany Griner and her being sentenced to nine and a half years. How the hell this girl get nine

years for a weed pen? And the USA ain't doing nothing about it. You tell me that. If that was Taylor Swift, it'll be a peace treaty right now. It'll be a slight,

they'll be laughing to go to war for a weed pen. For a wee peen. Nine years. Nine years. What that show for black women in the United States. And the vice president as a black woman. You supposed to be on the front line. You supposed to be on the front line.

To get that black woman out of jail nine damn years y'all fucked up in this world y'all fucked up in this world no truer words have been spoken by bussy y'all fucked up in this world y'all fucked up in this world now I know your initial thought is now what does Boosie know about um you know how to treat women well in fairness Boosie is very hip to the uh to the women's movement bro a woman pussy bleed like bro like he gets it and who was helping keep uh black women employed and keeping money in their pocket uh during the rona yeah of course he was quarantine titty day so tell me he doesn't get it he gets it he's helped a lot of black women i did see someone bring up a good point about this whole boosie rant

like wait until he finds out she's gay yeah he's not a big fan now does he i don't think he minds lesbians he might not mind lesbians i think he's not a big fan. I don't think he minds lesbians. Yeah, he might not mind lesbians. I think he hates gay men, like with a passion hates gay men. Gay women, like, I don't think he gives a shit. Like, he probably likes watching girls kiss and shit, and like, you know, box munch, munch box, things like that. So that probably doesn't bother him that much.

Get the fuck out the pool, man. Get your ass out the pool, man. It's important to note that he's been a big supporter of women's sports because he doesn't want transgender people swimming and like britney grinder is just a straight-up lesbian so i think he's actually defending her get the fuck out the pool man get your ass out the pool and he certainly doesn't want uh you know men playing in the wnba we let that shit go down in five, ten years. They're going to have kids raising their children to be big, strong motherfuckers. Then turn into women and take over the sport and get million-dollar contracts. Watch.

See, so we can make fun of Boosie all we want, and it's very easy to do. And I would argue it's very lazy to make fun of boosie because deep down boosie is a feminist y'all fucked up in this world so he's not wrong i just want to see if the taylor swift mob is going to come for boosie now like my favorite thing about that is like you know they want to try to get ratchet on some black folks and then the black folks return serve and those swifties get put in their place real fast if that was taylor swift it'll be a peace treaty right the internet loves moves like that though anytime some non-white person gets like in trouble it's oh but if a white person would have done that's always if or what if

well what it's what if ism what if a white person would have done that well i don't know that taylor swift is that fucking stupid and taylor swift doesn't have to go to russia because she's rich and her plane emits so much bad shit so she doesn't have to go to russia and that's how about that josh everyone knows uh-huh it's the planes that are made by men white men because she rents it out that was the excuse like well your plane is still emitting all these it's your plane whatever it's like well you know my dog is evil at the dog park and fights and bites other dogs yeah but i wasn't there when it happened therefore it's not my fault i leave my pit bull at the dog park and i go to wendy's so if he eats your yorkie at the dog park that's not my fault it gotta be a pit bull. Sorry. Your basset hound.

You're right. I bullied the breed. I bullied the breed, and I instantly regret that. I did something I don't like. I stereotyped, and I am sorry. Yorkies can be bigger assholes than pit bulls. That's true, but a Yorkie can't eat a pit bull. I was looking for a big dog that could eat another dog in this case,

that had the desire to do it. Luther could eat a dog. He he could eat a lot of shit you know but he thinks but like as far as it goes like people getting all dramatic over britney griner like i i don't want to like i'll go this route with you that i've seen some people go with and i'll go with it as well like you were one of the people that was like hey Hey, I don't think the national Anthem should be played before sporting events. And I'm going to protest and shit. Well, maybe America doesn't suck nearly as much as everyone makes it out to me. Cause the second we talk about like,

this is Russia. You want to go to Russia? You want to hang out in Russia? You cool with that? Because like in America and I granted, there've been a lot of people that have gone to jail for dumb shit in America too. I mean,

look at this TJ Finley at Auburn. This dude gets pulled over by the cops. Cause he's not wearing a fucking helmet on a Vespa, allegedly, and gets in a police chase and goes to jail today or gets arrested. So, like, trust me, there are dumb fucking things people get arrested for, and there have been a lot of people that have spent a lot of years in jail for pot and shit here. Bad shit happens here. But people talk like, America's a cesspool piece of shit and everywhere else is great then go to fucking russia britney grinder learned you don't want to go to

fucking russia you sound like tommy lorraine well i'm not trying to but like her tweet i mean she did have a good tweet today big picture it's like i don't like listen you know why i'm never going to get arrested for having pot in russia because i'm never going to go arrested for having pot in Russia because I'm never going to go to fucking Russia. That's why. And she had to go. Why did she have to go? Were they playing basketball in Russia? Fine. Go get a paper route. Playing basketball in Russia is a bad idea. So go do something else. And by like, and whatever, just go do like, don't go to Russia there's like I don't want to go to China I have no desire to go to any of these places you know how far I'll go California that's where I go that's as far west as I'll go as far east as I'll go is like Carolina after that I don't give a fuck

I don't want to go to any of these other places. I have no reason to go to these other places. But Josh, don't you want to see the Great Wall? No. There's one Great Wall that matters. It was a Chinese buffet in Baton Rouge by the Walmart on College Drive, and it was fantastic, and apparently it shut down because it violated many, many health codes. And I'd still go there with all those health codes because it was delicious. But I have no desire to go to the Great Wall. But Josh,'t you want to see russia no it's just fucking cold if i want to see snow

i'll go to denver i'll go to montana i don't give a shit about snow but josh don't you want to go to taiwan no japan no fun fact about me whenever there's the movie sequel that takes place in the orient i don't like that sequel i don't know why it just naturally happens that way it's not that i dislike asian folks they're wonderful people but like bad news bears i'm fine with the original bad news bears i'm fine with the bad news bears whenever they go to houston to play in the dome you know what i don't like bad news bears go to japan what about the hangover too don't like it i don't like it nearly as much as when they're in vegas because i am domestic that's what i'm about you say but josh what about that ninja turtle sequel where they're in

in japan that was the third one that's what i'm saying that counts i'm saying any sequel okay like any sequel in a series of movies if back to the Future would have gone to Japan, I wouldn't have enjoyed it. I don't know why this is. I just don't like movies that take place in China and Japan and Thailand. I just don't. Well, it's like me. I don't like TV episodes when they do a murder mystery. See, it's the same thing.

Every fucking show has to do a murder mystery. I hate them. But this is how I feel. So I'm like, oh, how would you feel if you got in that situation as Brittany Griner? I wouldn't because I'm not going to Russia. It sounds like a horrible thing to do. What if I said, Josh, we're sending you to Russia to see Night Ranger? I'd say I will wait until they come to Pensacola.

We're sending you and a listener to Russia. I will wait until they play the Monstersola. We're sending you and a listener to Russia. I will wait until they play the Monsters of Rock in the Appalachian Mountains. I am not going to Russia. I just don't need to. Josh, what if you were in? You'd feel bad. Yeah, it would suck if I were in that situation, but I won't be in that situation. Oh, Josh, what if you're in a situation like uh deshaun i won't be when i get

my massages i make sure my hard-ons are hidden very well because it's embarrassing if you get a boner or if you fart getting a massage so what was the point of the initial like independent judge here that gave the six games if they're just going to hire another independent judge to now look at the appeal that's very confusing part of the reason i think they did that is because they wanted somebody that wasn't roger goodell to express how shitty all the stuff he did was right like i get that they gave the six game suspension but she used the whole thing about well they've got uh like precedence said here so we have to go by six games. There's nothing else. So I think they, because if you read what you did, you read the entire thing and it's like, okay, they've admitted this guy did some really fucked up shit.

So really quick question here. Josh, what if Demi Lovato DM'd you and said she wants to bang, but only if she's in her villa in Russia? I'd say if I wanted to fuck a dude, I'd fuck Jim Mudd because we love each other. That's what I'd say. I don't need to fuck they, thems. I'd say if I wanted to fuck a dude, I'd fuck Jim Mudd because we love each other. That's what I'd say. I don't need to fuck they thems. I'm sorry. It's not what I'm into. I'm sure you're wonderful folks, but first of all,

she's changed. She doesn't want to fuck me anymore. 2015 Demi, you'd be all about it. She's changed. Listen, and she would have fucked me in 2015. I think you were kind of a cock block in that, and that's okay. No, I had Nick Jonas. I was good. Lovato wanted she wanted Ennis. You always crop that picture but on the other side of you and Demi in the

prom pic is me and Nick Jonas. She's back to being she her. Not so fast my friend. She's she her they them. Yep, she's accepting all of those. She is all of those. She's a fucking imbecile and a lunatic. So no, I would have to turn that down. It'd be a fine story but I would not go to Russia

for it. If she said, hey, meet me in Piscataway, New Jersey, I'd say, okay, let's go to Piscataway, New Jersey, bang it out at the Motel 6. We'll leave the light on for you. But I would not do it in Russia. And with her stupid haircut she's got now, there's no way in hell I'd do that.

That's nasty. I saw that some people think she wrote one of her songs her new songs the dish track about uh wilder valderrama wilder valderrama's got to feel like he dodged a bullet because he was banging her when she was hot now she looks like florence henderson and he's like like she looks like she looks like uh the ugly one from three's company she looks like janet he's like I was banging her when she was Chrissy. Now she's Janet. So I think he wins.

Josh, she's a mentally ill drug addict. She's Britney Spears, but less gross. She is gross. They're different kinds of gross. But they are. I didn't think she was. Now she's just far too weird. And she wouldn't like me anyway.

I'm not an MMA fighter. And I'm not a girl. So I don and she wouldn't like me anyway i'm not an mma fighter and i'm not a girl so i don't think she'd like me all that much wilmer banged demi and lindsey lohan when they were hot dude pulled some ass no wilmer is a coxman he is a stone cold coxman and ryan cabrera i mean we were having that discussion the other night ryan cabrera banged audrina from the hills he's married to married to Alexa Bliss. He probably hooked up with Avril Lavigne. No doubt. And I think he dated Ashley Simpson. I think so. He did.

That's a man. Demi is a less gross version of Amanda Bynes. That's not true. And Amanda Bynes wasn't always gross. Amanda Bynes used to be hot. She had her moments. And she had a hot mug shot so i mean that's a winner right see maybe this is your topic for tomorrow ask the old men who would they go to

russia to bang it could be a solid convo celebrity i try to avoid anything political well this isn't political like if you had to go to russia if you had to leave this fine country okay but it meant you could bang a celebrity like okay you could bang any so who would you what celebrity would you want to bang and they'd call up and go i want to bang i don't know what what's a celebrity these old dudes would probably find hot some white chick so like i'd bang dolly parton probably not dolly parton maybe that's a bad example jennifer aniston so an old fellow that calls the rock says i'd bang jennifer aniston okay now here's the caveat you have to toss kamala harris's salad to have sex all the sex you want with jennifer aniston

would you do it would you what do you do the simple question is just like all right you can bang any celebrity you have to bang them in Russia. Who are you banging? Are you doing it? But see, I think they'd all say yes. So I have to find the thing that makes it difficult. And what makes it difficult is you have to have sex with the liberal vice president lady, and that would change the game. So then we see how far it goes.

It's like, all right, you can have sex with Jennifer Aniston, but you have to toss Kamala Sal. They say, hell no, brother, I ain't doing that. It's like, okay, you have to eat at the Y of Kamala. And he goes, hell no, I ain't going down there. There have been so many political cocks down there. I ain't doing none of that. Okay, fine.

You have to kiss her on the mouth with tongue. I just want to see how, like, what level they have to get to before they say, hell, if I get to fuck Jennifer Aniston in Russia, I guess I'll eat her ass. I guess. It's a small price to pay, because I view myself as a patriot for having sex with Jennifer Aniston, going to Russia and doing it.

I don't care. So, I really hate the Cleveland people, too. Like, I hope Deshaun Watson never plays football again. And what I hate is you make this argument and people think you're doing it because you're a white guy and he's black, and then it becomes, what about Ben Roethlisberger? You know what I say to that? I don't care.

I don't care. Because I can always come back with, hey, Chief, what about Kobe? I don't care. You know what I say to that? I don't care. I don't care. Because I can always come back with, hey, Chief, what about Kobe? I don't care. You know why? If we want to go race for race and guys who did some fucked up shit with sex shit, let's go for it. Let's have at it. What about Ben Roethlisberger? How about R. Kelly, fuckface?

I don't care. We can do it all day long, but I don't give a shit because each individual situation is different. I don't care what race somebody is. Deshaun Watson's clearly a narcissistic monster of a human and I root for bad things to happen. I also like the statement from the team like Jim Haslam, right? Jimmy. He's like,

oh yeah, Deshaun's clearly very remorseful about this whole situation. And then you hear the comments from Deshaun's team and they're like, nope, he still says he did nothing wrong. He's adamant about it. Like, okay, he's not remorseful.

God, I hope they lose every game and I hope his dick breaks off. Like, as I told you, I wanted him to get like, I think I labeled it as cock miseried, cock hobbled. I want him to get cock hobbled.

So you're saying we should trade Deshaun for Brittany Griner? I think we, well, but see, the thing is the trade doesn't work that way. You have to trade a Russian prisoner that's here to send them back to Russia. So we can't just trade American... We can't just trade American shitheads for American shitheads.

American... But Brittany Griner seems like far less of a shithead than... Deshaun's the bigger name. Be like, hey, Russia. And that's the other thing that these dipshits need to understand when they go, oh, Brittany Griner or if it were Taylor Swift, it'd be a bigger deal. Yeah, because Taylor Swift matters.

My guess is maybe two and a half out of ten Americans would know who Brittany Griner is. Well, I think that's the point they're trying to make, is it's not fair that other people matter more. Well, there's a lot of things that aren't fair in the world, sweetie, but shit happens. Life isn't fair. Did anybody tell you life is fair?

It's not. Nobody gives a shit about WNBA players. Most of the people who know who Brittany Griner is know who she is now because she went to jail in Russia. Most people didn't know her because she played in the WNBA. Nobody gives a shit.

So, but Deshaun, these fucking Cleveland people, they're going to get theirs. They're going to get theirs. It's going to be a thing of beauty. Hold on. Back to cock hobbling really quick. Just explain a cock hobble. If you've seen Misery, you saw where she hobbled him by putting his legs between the milk box

and then smashed his ankles in with the sledgehammer. Do that, but with a cock and balls. So wait until he gets all aroused give him viagra so you give him viagra this is like some of that like fucking girl with the dragon tattoo torture type shit like revenge shit that's what they need to do they need to do what you would recall call like a reverse death wish and instead of like being like angry white guy that's killing all the black folks for kit like raping and killing his wife needs to be a bunch of angry massage ladies that go out and find a shot like nine they need to nine to five him is what they need to do like oh our boss is such a dick

let's make him pay right stumble out of bed and fumble to the kitchen pour myself a cup of ambition like they need a nine to five this guy but it ends with him getting cock hobbled who's with me sure i don't care oh fuck off anyway what were you saying it's kind of like i get like he's nothing's happening yet but it's very cringy when you see like all these fans gathered around and he's signing autographs for him or i think i saw the browns tweeted the other day, here's Deshaun meeting with military families after practice. Like, cool. You're such a good guy. Hey, if I were the military guy, I'd be like,

so how were you able to come without actually doing anything? That's impressive. I wish one of these military guys would be like, hey, my wife's a fucking massage therapist asshole and then punch him in the face. And then punch him right in the dick. My mind went to a slobbering hole that's exactly where it went thank you that is exactly where my mind went to the idea of cock hobbling is legit though i think that's how like predators should

be punished you just like saying that cock hobble i'm you know what i'm a cock hobble TM or R with a circle. I am trademarking. I am trademarking cock hobble today. I got to go to the internets and figure out how to do it. And I will make t-shirts that say Deshaun should be cock hobbled. And only 34 people will understand it. And that's okay. That's all I need. Because you're my loyal group of people.

And you will say, Josh, you're fucking brilliant. And I'll say, thank you. Cock you cock hobbling boy that's awesome i really enjoy that my mind went to a slobbering hall ah boy i enjoyed the broke country today on the rock said brad hall well thank you i was talking about that fella hardy and he's got that song give heaven some hell it's pretty solid jam the thing about broke country is it's basically hair metal but like for hillbillies which is also what hair metal is too but like it's about partying and drinking and like you know hanging out with the boys and shit and it's the same thing and so like i don't hate all of it now some of them i hate but not all of them and i think

hardy seems decent he's on that drink Beers on Me song that I enjoy. So there. How about that? What's the one song? God or... Oh, sitting here drinking. Oh, darn, that's a good song. Which one?

Jack makes whiskey, but God makes the good stuff. Ah, yeah. That song sucks. That's not a good one. I think it's called Five Foot Nine. Yeah, so it's basically a song about how God made this five foot nine whore that I'm banging. But Jack makes good whiskey, but God makes the good stuff. That song's not very good.

But there are some that are extremely hokey, but then I find myself like, yep, I'm in. Sitting here drinking beer Talking God amen Killing time doing stuff With some down home friends When the world's gone crazy But Hardy has like really only the two songs I can think of right Well I mean I think he's a pretty big deal You're not a regular listener of country music

That bar had to be evacuated yesterday because the deck was crumbling. There were so many people there to see Hardy. Yeah. I think I want to be friends with this Hardy. Jay Cutler was there yesterday. Jay Cutler, who's apparently a shitty husband, according to Kristen Cavallari, who from afar seems like a shitty wife. She says he's toxic.

She's toxic. Get out of here with that junk. There's nothing toxic about Jay. Jay is bae. Ooh, there's nothing toxic about Jay. Jay is bae. Ooh, there's a t-shirt. Jay is bae, though. I see on his Instagram he's trying an IPA. Apparently he does not like IPAs.

See? Me and Jay are the same way. Not a huge IPA guy. Because it is National IPA Day today. Oh, it is? I reached out to our guys over at our... Now you're like, hey, Jilly, go to the beer store. Let's get some IPAs and drink.

You're right. I'm taking a couple of days off. Tomorrow's Friday, Jilly, go to the beer store. Let's get some IPAs and drink. You're right. I'm taking a couple of days off. Tomorrow's Friday, so we're going to drink tomorrow. Okay. I took yesterday off, and I'm taking today off. And our plan is to do your birthday bash, what, next Friday? Is it next Friday? Well, because we're not doing it on Thursday.

So Friday is the birthday bash? Yep. August 12th will be the birthday bash. Should be a hell of a time. But, yeah, I reached out to our guys over at Spindletap. I haven't heard anything back from them. We may be having to look for a new brewery, I guess.

They're ghosting you. That's amazing. I get ghosted by so many people. I don't know why. I don't know what I did wrong. Why is this happening? Is it me? I don't know. But... It's not like we never brought anybody out there like our jisters went to Spindletap many a time

they did so yeah I don't know I don't know what the issue is but I mean I'll give them some time I did it like four days ago otherwise we otherwise we round it up and we find a new brewery that is going to be the official beer of the Josh Ennis show and all that it went to spam folder it did not

it did not go to the spam folder, but thank you, Bsmoo. That was awful nice of you to insinuate. Spindle tap is badass. It is, I agree, but I haven't heard back from anybody over there. What I need to do is just have Mac write us a giant check, and then we'd team up with Mac and do all sorts of shit.

My man, I love him. I miss him so much. Be like PK andk like send listeners places just have mac foot the bill like hey do you guys want to go to the water park well it's brought to you by you know you guys want to go out to that water park down i-10 well good news max sending you with a bunch of troops it's the troops and the jizzers and we're all going to the water park it's gonna be lit ah anyway all and we're all going to the water park. It's going to be lit. Anyway, we will say goodbye to the podcast portion of the audience.