The Josh Innes Show - Kangaroo vs. Man

Episode Date: May 12, 2025

A dude in South Carolina was killed by a Kangaroo. Have you ever actually seen Kangaroos? The are swole, vicious killing machines. That said, the story claims this man would routinely "rough house" with the kangaroo. WTF are doing, dude? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

When does fast grocery delivery through Instacart matter most? When your famous grainy mustard potato salad isn't so famous without the grainy mustard. When the barbecue's lit, but there's nothing to grill. When the in-laws decide that, actually, they will stay for dinner. Instacart has all your groceries covered this summer, so download the app and get delivery in as fast as 60 minutes. Plus enjoy zero dollar delivery fees on your first three orders. Service fees exclusions and terms apply. Instacart. Groceries that over-deliver.

First off, now I think that the program director from 97.5 in Philly is back from vacation. I think last week was a vacation week, and I don't know if he's back today or whenever he's back, but he's supposed to be back. now is the true countdown about or it's a countdown, but it's also a true like Will truly get to see whether or not this guy actually calls me back or not. He may not I have officially applied for the job. I've emailed him. He knows who I am He and I have had phone conversations before we're kind of buddies So I'd assume I'd at least get a courtesy call back but We will get to find out once and for all if I'm actually going to get that call It really it honest to god guys. It sounds like a disastrous situation

Anyway, like Beasley owns the radio station as we talked about last week Beasley is like letting go of people who are on the biggest show, arguably the biggest show in their entire radio station company, and they're letting people go from that show and they can't save them. So if that's the case, I can only imagine how bad this 97.5 job is, how little it pays, how bad the morale must be. Like that's got to be awful for morale in a place, right? Like it's one thing, like you know that cost cutting comes and every now and then, you know, the promo person gets whacked or a board op gets whacked or like a third, fourth person on a nothing show gets whacked or in some case they just blow out entire morning shows

on stations that are underperforming. But those things are kind of understood. When you start seeing people getting fired from shows that truly matter and make money and are huge successful shows and you can't save those people, Preston and Steve couldn't save them, it went above them. When you start getting to that, that's terrible for morale because if anyone can go from that show then anybody can be fired and that's the mindset that people have to have over there in that building and in that company right now So it is not an ideal position to be in and so look I would certainly listen if somebody called me about the job

I would certainly talk with them. I think they should call me. They should want to talk with me It'd be absurd for them not to be truly preposterous to not talk to me. But I don't think they will. It's day one. So this is day one. We're on a countdown now. We're on a tracker. This is day one of the possible days that I could get a phone call from 97.5. Again, you give them the week. Last week was vacation. I'm assuming he's back from vacation. Now we sit here and we wait. Day one, as of right now, it is 1221 Central. Again, still relatively early in the day on this Monday. I have not received an email or a call. And now you're up to date on that. Now moving on to some stuff let's play a couple commercials and we will continue. Well here's a story for you. Man found dead

inside kangaroo. Wait hold on I read that wrong I didn't see the comma I thought a guy was dead inside a kangaroo. Dude kangaroos are all the sudden like pythons now and they just engulf people whole. Man found dead inside kangaroo. Dude, kangaroos are all of a sudden like pythons now and they just engulf people whole. Man found dead inside Kangaroo Wallaby enclosure with multiple blunt force injuries, Horry County Police say. This is in Horry County, South Carolina, like spelled H-O-R-R-Y like Robert Horry, so maybe it's Horry or it could be Horry. I'm not sure. A 52-year-old man was found dead and signed a Wallaby and Kangaroo enclosure with multiple blunt force injuries at Highway 746 Farm just outside of Loras, the Ory County Coroner's Office

said. Eric Slate was discovered in the facility just before midnight. Authorities said an autopsy is planned as officers continue to investigate. A News 13 crew on Saturday attempted to speak with Eric's brother Robert, owner of Five Star Farm, who declined to comment. In a Facebook post Saturday afternoon, Robert Slate said the animal was, quote, was not nor has been out of his secure enclosure and asked for privacy as the investigation unfolds. Five Star Farm is a family-owned business known for its educational and interactive petting zoo. The farm has been dedicated to providing a safe and enriching environment for animals and visitors

alike. Yeah, but apparently not for Eric Slate, who it sounds like got his ass kicked by a kangaroo. Let's see. Slate had a history of going into the kangaroo enclosure and playing rough with it. He says the animal is not aggressive and has not been euthanized. He adds some kangaroo experts are coming in this week to make sure the enclosure is safe and the animal is okay. I am on the animal side. If you listen to me at all or half for any period of time, nine out of ten times, if not nine and a half or 9.9

times out of ten, I will always side with the animal in a battle of animal versus man, particularly when it happens in the wilderness. If it's in the wilderness, I am always 100% animal, right? There's not even a part of me that says, hey, I'm on the guy's side because usually it's dipshits that are out camping or something out in the bear's house and then the bear comes out and is like, what the fuck are you doing in my quarters? And then bam, eats him and I'm

like, well, what did you expect to have happen dipshit? You're in the woods in a tent.'s a bear like we shouldn't kill those bears they shouldn't be euthanized we shouldn't hunt them down that's their reward they should get rewarded for that if like if you're a dipshit you're dumb enough to be out in the woods camping and a bear comes over and eats you natural selection bro and that bear should be he should be rewarded and the reward is he gets to eat you as a person and there you go. In this story I also feel like I'm leaning 100% in favor of the kangaroo. Why? Because kangaroos are the

most frightening fucking animals on the planet. Have you ever seen the videos where like the kangaroo just beats on the sliding glass window just stares with his lifeless eyes? I got dolls eyes like looking at you through the glass and just just hitting the glass with this giant like claws and shit and then like kicking these glass windows man kangaroos are fucking scary. When I go to the zoo, I am not scared of the animals right like I look at a lion. I'm like, oh, that's a

pretty lion, or that's a tiger, that's a giraffe, or that's a hippo, or whatever. But when I see kangaroos, I am freaked the fuck out. I am petrified of kangaroos. And I think this like, this might sound ridiculous. I'm going to assume that it does. But when I look at a kangaroo, I see an animal that has no reason. Like, this is dumb. I get it. But if I like encountered a lion in the wild, there's a very good possibility that lion just eats me without

even thinking about it. However, in my warped mind, I feel like I could almost reason with the lion, you know. It's just a giant house cat. So I could look at the lion and I could be like, hey, bud, like, look, you're very pretty. I'm just going to go. I have no weapons. Look, I have no weapons. Like, I'll raise my hands.

I have no weapons. I'm not here to hurt you. I took a wrong turn. I am sorry. I'm going to go. And then maybe the lion would be like, OK, that's fine. Like I'm not gonna eat you. Like you're not even a real challenge. I know I could maul you right now and your life will be over. So like I'm gonna go out and chase a fucking gazelle, give myself a challenge,

have a good day or like a giant tiger in the wild. Like I feel like a tiger would also have some reason. He'd be like, you're right, you're not even a challenge for me. Like you don't have a gun or a knife or like a spear or anything like a harpoon or something to try to take me out, bro. Look, you're no threat to me. I know that you made a wrong turn. You were looking for Denny's. You missed that this is your turn. Go here. Have a good day. But a kangaroo looks like it doesn't give a fuck. A kangaroo will see

you out in the wild and go, it's on now bitch and you're like I can't handle you. You can jump real high and you kick and you punch and you got giant scary claws and lifeless dead eyes. I don't want to fight you and the kangaroo will fight you anyway. The kangaroo will punch you in the face and does not care. Like again, I get that it sounds ridiculous. I'm aware that it kangaroo will punch you in the face and does not care. Again, I get that it sounds ridiculous. I'm aware that it sounds ridiculous, but when I see a kangaroo, I see no reason. I

don't see a situation where that fucking kangaroo will go, you know what, you can go, let him go. He just wants to fuck you up. I think part of it is because the kangaroo probably does have some level of inferiority to lions and tigers tigers and bears and shit because like he doesn't get taken all that seriously and then he turns on fucking Winnie the Pooh bear and it's like oh there's Kanga and fucking Roo or like oh there's Kangaroo Jack that's some wacky shit. The kangaroos never get their true run as the scary fucking predators that they are. Like bears, look there's Winnie the Pooh and there's Baloo and like there's bears that are nice you know but then like bears also

get like oh shit that's the Revenant or whatever that movie was and then you're like oh shit there's the Revenant bears can fuck you up. Like there's constant reminders that bears can still fuck you up so like their image isn't impacted. So for every Winnie the Pooh there's's also like, oh shit, there's that bear that went head up with fucking Leo, you know, so you know that bears will fuck you up. Same with tigers, man. Like a tiger, like for every like, they're great tiger. There's also tigers that like, will like, like Siegfried and Roy will get eaten by a tiger and you'll go,

oh shit, we forget tigers are still fucking tigers. Lions, right? Oh, the Lion King. Oh, wake up, dad. Wake up. Wake up. Yeah, that's all well and good, but you can still, you know, I mean, there's still fucking lions that'll fuck you up and you know a lion will fuck you up and they're still like that. Like there's fear. There's still fear that exists in the hearts of people as it relates to bears and tigers, whatever. Unless you go to YouTube and you watch these

fucking kangaroos beating the shit out of people like you don't know that kangaroos beat the shit out of people and the kangaroo is going to be like no, no, I'm doing a disservice to the other kangaroos if I let you go because all you're going to think about is goddamn kangaroo Jack and fucking crocodile Dundee and a kangaroo and shit and you're going to go back and tell your friends that kangaroos are harmless. I have to do my duty to the felt to the culture to the Kanga culture and what I have to do is I have to kill you now.

You ever see the videos of dipshits trying to box kangaroos? Good luck chief. You're an asshole and I hope he sticks those giant fucking claws right in both your stupid eyes. So the kangaroo has no reason at all. We were at the zoo a couple weeks ago. The zoo in St. Louis is free by the way if you didn't know but we were at the zoo and I'm seeing all these animals you know like monkeys and shit all this. We encountered this just open thing of kangaroos. I'm like, these motherfuckers could jump out of here. There's not a fucking chance in hell I'm gonna get the fuck out of here. I think in Nashville, I think is where this zoo is. Like there's a kangaroo

like habitat where you can like go in and like touch kangaroos and shit. Like the fuck I'm gonna touch those kangaroos. Well Well, their babies. Yeah, great. And at some point they're going to grow up and be super fucking swole and they're going to fucking try to kill me. I'm not going to make friends with these things. It's like alligators. Like every now and then there's like Wally Gator who loves his everloving Everglades or whatever. But then there's like, you know, Lake Placid where they fucking eat you. And you got to know

that they can eat you. I think there's an inferiority complex that comes along with being a kangaroo. And it just instills in them that you can never let off the gas as it relates to trying to kill a motherfucker that's in your habitat. Because then it makes its way around. The stories make their way around like, oh, just see that Steve let another fucking guy off again. Like, yeah, I know.

So he can't do that. He has to fucking eat them. And he does because he's a kangaroo and he has no fucking reason. Watch the videos. The most frightening thing I've ever seen. I thought the scariest thing I'd ever seen was that moment in Signs when like they're watching the video of the kid's birthday party and then that alien just kind of walks in and turns real quick

and then like goes and then Joaquin Phoenix is like, oh my god. I thought that was the scariest fucking thing I'd ever seen. But then I saw videos of kangaroos fucking banging on sliding glass door windows. And then that is when I discovered real fear. Now I know what real fear is like. I thought it was scary watching Alfred Hitchcock presents as a kid. Bullshit. Real fear is watching a fucking kangaroo stare directly into a fucking camera as he's just like intensely.

And the thing is like like he'll beat on the glass door once and then wait a little while and then do it again the fuck is this dude doing roughhousing with a fucking kangaroo? you deserved it we gotta start saying these things you know these idiots that fuck around like he's like oh I'm in the kangaroo thing this is my buddy this is Glenn the kangaroo he ain't your friend and they can be your friend for a long time and then they turn on you once and you're dead like there was that story I want to say it was in Fenton Festus Missouri which is outside of St.

Louis probably I don't know 30 minutes outside of St. Louis maybe a little bit further that's like kind of a heck area you know and there was a lady that had like a pet monkey or some shit. Oh, it's this monkey blah blah blah. And then one day the monkey just ripped the fucking woman's face clean fucking off. So your friend like that. That's the thing, right? It's like you can have ten years of being buddies with this animal and then 10 seconds of this animal deciding he fucking hates you, you're dead. That's the risk you're taking pal.

So you might think you're best friends with a fucking kangaroo and you might think that like you got you guys might go to fucking Pinkberry together. I don't fucking know what you do with this kangaroo but I'll tell you this, it just takes 10 seconds of that kangaroo deciding he's not friends. You pissed him off in the wrong way and you're dead. Same thing like Siegfried and Roy thought they had these tigers trained, bro. That's our boys, bro. And then one day that tiger got pissed. Dead. That's the thing, bro. Can't trust him.

Anyway, more to come.