The Josh Innes Show - Kiffin Douchebaggery

Episode Date: January 3, 2025

Jilly and I just watched Ole Miss destroy Duke. It's funny that Lane Kiffin seems to think this proves something about Ole Miss. Jilly offers her thoughts on our new pup, Ross. Does Ross actually like us? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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All right. Just watch the whatever the hell bowl this was, the gator bowl. I think that the losing coach should have been fed to a gator. That's a solid play there. I agree with you. Let's make it real. Look, that would make you coach harder, I think, if you knew that a losing effort would have you as Gator bait. So, but as is Ole Miss one, and I just love that they think it's some great accomplishment to beat Duke. Like Lane

Kiffin, first of all, thank you for scoring a bunch of points because I hit an over in the game tonight. Thanks to Jackson Dart for telling Lane basically to go fuck himself because he throws it at the end of the game for like 60-something yards. I took him to throw for 350 and two tuds, so that was huge. Thanks, Jackson Dart. You're douchey, but thank you. And I love the idea that Lane views this as some sort of great accomplishment to beat shitty Duke. I don't care what conference Duke is in.

Duke is still Duke as it relates to football. Also, their starting quarterback did not play. Their second string quarterback didn't play either. This was their third string guy who's never played a start, right? No, he's never played. He's thrown one fucking pass. And he threw it pretty well. I should have taken his over.

He would have hit. But like all that said, you're sitting here talking like you did some sort of big shit against Duke and I get why you're doing it because you're basically being sarcastic being an asshole about the ACC it doesn't change the fact that you didn't deserve to be in the playoffs you lost three fucking games you lost three games one of which was to shitty Kentucky one of which was to shitty LSU one of which was to shitty LSU, one of which was to middling Florida. So please, no, great. You beat Georgia. Guess what happened to Georgia today? They got their dicks knocked off by Notre Dame and I don't care that it was a backup quarterback. Their

starting quarterback fucking sucks too. So fuck off lane. And then I love that the idiots are chanting SEC at this game. Like the 11 people at this Gator Bowl are chanting SEC. The SEC just got worked by Notre fucking Dame, by the former Duke quarterback. The former Duke quarterback who only had 170 all-purpose yards. He sucks. But still, I mean, shit. Like I just, I despise Kiffin. I despise Ole Miss.

Like this whole show today, this whole show is what it was, this damn game. Well, I'm listening to a talk show between the two jamokes calling this game, and it's just like a Lane Kiffin blowjob fest is what we heard. It was just, boy, you know, Lane Kiffin's got him in the national title hunt every year. The fuck he does. When's the last time Ole Miss was in the national title hunt? No times under Lane Kiffin the guy hadn't sniffed it screw off but anywho I guess a big win for Ole Miss in the SEC today I suppose

in the Gator Bowl but in that game I missed a couple of plays because these dudes stopped catching passes but so get this dig on this so Jackson darts passing yards in this game going into it was like 255 and a half homeboy had 250 in the first half so when we were over there betting in Illinois today I was like you know what I feel like Lane's gonna be a dickhead and this Jackson darts gonna be a dickhead they're gonna try to prove a point by bullying shitty third string quarterback riddled Duke and they're gonna score a bunch of points and try to prove a point by bullying shitty third string quarterback riddled Duke. And they're going to score a bunch of points and try to prove a point. So Ole Miss's point total was 34 and a half. And it was like minus 105. They got to that easily. And then it was the 255 for Jackson Dart. And I

said, you know what? I think I'm going to take him for 400. And I said, no, I'm going to play it safe. I'm going to go down to to 350 and he got to 350 so I got the 350 and two touchdown passes in a parlay thank you very much and then uh three touchdown passes that's what I did it was positive money I know and he ended up throwing four I think three was like minus 300 like three or two was minus 300 something two was there i can't talk two was minus 300 yes and three was like plus 110 there you go so either way it may have been but as is because nobody knew how long the dude was gonna play and it turns out he played the whole damn game because lane kiffin's an asshole even though lane kiffin's a super asshole, he still went out

and was like, you know what? I didn't want him to throw that last touchdown pass. And I said, well, I'm glad he did because that got me a hit. So Lane, your quarterback is slightly more of an asshole than you are, and it's greatly appreciated. So SEC, SEC, SEC. Although it really could have been a disaster for the SEC because Georgia lost and Texas should it really could have been a disaster for the SEC because Georgia lost and Texas should have, could have, would have lost if not for a fourth down miracle. Now, it should have never been a ball game because they shouldn't have been in that game with Arizona State,

but they were, and in overtime, they very well could have lost, but they made the one big play, and then they got the interception, and that was all she wrote. A little firehouse, baby. Bye-bye, baby, bye-bye. That was all she wrote. Do you think Ohio State just beats the shit out of Texas? I hope so.

I have no love for Texas at all. I hope there's a lot of points, and I hope there's a lot of passing yards, and I hope my dude, like, you know, Gunner, he comes through and throws. By the way, so speaking of people named Gunner, now my guy Gunner Helm, the tight end for Texas, came through late on the over in the game the other day. But you want to talk about special players named Gunner. I had a parlay that carried over from day to day because obviously the Sugar Bowl was

moved back a day because some fucking terrorist cocksucker tried to blow up our beloved New Orleans. So go fuck yourself, you terrorist. But so I had a parlay going that had one leg left in it. It was one leg. And that leg was for Gunner Stockton. That's his name, right? Gunner Stockton.

Gunner Stockton, the backup quarterback of Georgia to throw for 175. And if I hit that, I would have won like $600. And the whole world's like Gunnar Stockton's going to suck ass and Gunnar Stockton's not going to throw for any yards. The whole world's taking the under, but not Josh Ennis, not the prop king over here. I said, fuck, no, we are. We're taking the over. And sure enough, homeboy cruised to the over, threw for like 230 or something like that, had a 60 something yard pass in there as well. thank you people named gunner have been great to your boy lately thanks gunner stockton thanks gunner helm you're the tits thank you very much and then i'm looking forward because there's a

lot of prop bet dudes that i love in the um in that matchup gunner helm i'm a big guy uh matthew golden i'm a big fan of. I feel like I introduced you to Gunnar Helm, though. You did. That was my guy. Well, good. I'm glad you did. Thank you for introducing us.

We're a match made in heaven, me and Gunnar Helm making money. I just wanted to be known. Just because I can't talk doesn't mean I don't know a couple things. Well, you came through on that. But Matthew Golden is a great one. I think Isaiah Bond is due to play well because he didn't have a catch in that game. So he's due to put up some yards. And, of course, Emeka Ibuka, my guy from Ohio State.

Jeremiah Smith from Ohio State. Will Howard from Ohio State. I don't know if it will be available for the two to combine for 500 passing yards, but I would make love to that easily. I would make love to the Jeremiah Smith over. I make sweet sexy time with the Ibuka over like this has potential to just be sling fest in that game and then what about Penn State and Notre Dame I honestly I think I would rather pour bleach into my eyeballs I mean Drew Aller's been good for you not really though like you would think that but every time I take Drew Aller, he doesn't come through.

I've done some live bets with Drew Aller, and they've hit, but like, I don't know, man. That game does nothing for me. I have no interest. But what's going to end up happening is that's going to be the epic game, and Ohio State may beat the shit out of Texas. Maybe Ohio State and their extremely dark, bearded coach is gonna go out there and just maul these cats that very well may be the case i don't know but um here we are kiddos by the team with the buy did not win a game are they locked into the same format next year or

they can they tweak it because like i feel like obviously this buy thing did not work no i look i commend oregon for not bitching about the fact because people asked him about it like hey you've got a shitty matchup heavy you're the number one seed you got the buy but you end up having to face ohio state like they're like listen we fucking lost so whatever also whoever this guy is on tv is wearing the ultimate dad shoes with his suit like the dude's wearing solid white thick ass new balances with hisances with his suit. So whoever, oh, Rod Gilmore, ESPN college football analyst since 1996. Black don't crack. But his shoes, very white, very New Balance-y.

He's wearing dad shoes. To a degree, I respect it. You know, do you, boo? All right, let's play a couple commercials here, and then we will get back into some more conversation here on the old podcast. All right, if you're ready to win some real cash during the basketball playoffs, you got to check out Pick 6 from DraftKings. When it comes to basketball payouts, DraftKings Pick 6 posterizes the competition,

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at pick six dot draft kings dot com slash promos all right so umcoe, Mr. Ross is laying here with us. Been farting a lot tonight. The guy farts. Look, I'm not trying to compare you to your dearly departed brother there, Ross, but your dearly departed brother was not much of a farter because he really wasn't much of an eater, so there wasn't anything to fart. But this Ross, boy loves to fart, and they are rough. I mean, they are like bombs being dropped, my friend.

Yeah, they're very, very potent. We've been filling up this little Kong chew toy with the Kong filling, which looks like a can of Easy Cheese, and I think that makes him fart. So what should I put in there instead? I mean, you could do a little bit of peanut butter. We can get some plain Greek frozen yogurt. Do you think that he'll stop farting if we do that? I mean mean i think the kong cheese probably has a lot to do with it it's very possible now let me ask you this jilly how do you feel about ross about three weeks into our

union with him now we were given the option when we adopted him from this foster they're like hey do you want to do the two-week trial or do you just want to take him and i'm like you know what i'm not going to sit there and take a two-week trial. I'm going to sit there and I'm going to do it straight up. I'm going to say, listen, this is my guy. I like him and we're going to ride with Ross. I don't need no trial. We're in this thing together. You can't do that when you have a baby. I guess in theory you could. You could just put a baby up for adoption after two weeks, but that's not what we were here to do. We said we're taking Ross and Ross is going to be part of our crew.

So you're three weeks into Ross time, Jilly. How do you feel about Ross? Ross is doing good. He's a challenge to walk, that's for sure. But Luther would never even walk with me. So at least I have a dog who wants to walk with me. He needs some work on that. He's crazy when it comes to walking, but we're taking him to the training.

What other things about – now, that's assuming we get to the training because there's a goddamn ice storm that's coming and a snow storm and snow and ice, and it's going to be terrible. We must get to somewhere warmer. As I discussed on the podcast, I no longer have an agent, so I'm riding solo like Derulo. So if there's anybody doing any hiring and particularly someone in a town that's warm uh reach out to your boy I don't know that you can be

that picky with a town that's warm oh look I'll take whatever job I'm just saying if you are someone who is a program director in a town that is warm please reach out to me now again I'll bitch if you're in a town that's cold reach reach out to. Please, do it all. But anyway, point being in all of this is I'll go somewhere warm and I'll bitch about how hot it is. But the difference is in a town where it's hot as shit, you have to deal with a lot of heat in a lot of places. I get it. However, at least in a place that's hot, I'm not going to have to deal with too many ice storms. Now, we did in Houston like once or twice. I get that.

I've dealt with it in Baton Rouge. There's been a couple of cold times, but I've dealt with it a lot more in St. Louis, Philadelphia, and Nashville to a degree. Then I'm going to have to deal with an ice storm in a Houston or a Baton Rouge or somewhere down south. So if I have my druthers, I want to go somewhere. Look, and I don't want to be hot as balls. I don't like when you got the asshole sweats, and I don't like when you got the under-tit sweat. It's no fun, and I'll bitch all summer long when it's 120 degrees and humid, but I also don't want to go outside and shovel snow and have to tiptoe around on ice

like we're going to have to do here in a couple days. Well, why don't you get a job and then make enough money where we can get a pool? Okay, I'll work. Well, I mean, yeah. Why not? That's a great idea, and I'm going to go to work on that right now. I'm going to do that. I'll reach out about this job.

I was talking about how there's that classic rock job in Houston. I don't think it's actually an opening, but maybe I'll reach out about it, and I'll see if they need me to come there, and then we'll just go find a friend that listens to the pod that has a pool, and we'll go crash their pool. Well, there you go. See? Now you've got to start sending those emails.

You're in it for yourself now. I am, but look, I think I can sell myself pretty well. we'll go crash their pool. There you go. See? Now you've got to start sending those emails. You're in it for yourself now. I am. But look, I think I can sell myself pretty well. I'll go out there. I'm sending all the emails. I'm making calls, baby. Your dad would be your agent. Look, maybe I will.

He'll call. Dude, he'll totally call. My dad was like, Josh, you don't need an agent anymore. I'm like, okay, do you want to be my agent? Nah, I'm busy. Did you tell him that you don't have an agent anymore i'm like okay do you want to be my agent nah i'm busy did you tell him that you don't have an agent i did i did i reached out and i said well dad i no longer have an agent and he goes well she didn't get you a job anyway so i'm like well scotty will tell you how it is look and i have nothing against my now former agent but uh he's not wrong i mean i've

been sitting here for five months without a job so uh we'll figure it out but point being in all of this is uh what are you what is your theory on Ross that's where this started what my I think Ross is awesome I don't have a theory on Ross and I was just wondering if you your opinion on Ross I like Ross a lot of things he's a good boy and I think once he gets a little training and he doesn't you know uh you know like because dude walking can be a challenge with him. You know, he's a good boy. He's a great boy. I don't even know if he likes me or not.

Again, maybe it takes time. But I know this. He snuggled last night in the bed. He has no issue coming to sleep with us in the bed. So he's just one of those kind of dogs. Like, some dogs, like, really show you how much they like you and, like, they look like they like you. Some dogs like you and they just don't look like they like you I think Ross is one of those dogs that just doesn't look like he likes you but he does I would argue that was more Luther well Luther also but like Luther I never got the vibe that like when I looked at Luther that he was like oh I hate you like he

would like us he clearly did but like he would look at other dogs like I don't know like Ross is clearly comfortable with us. He has no qualms with laying here and everything else. The question about Ross is, does Ross actually like us or not? I don't know. That's a good question. I truly don't know. I've been Googling things like this. I'm like, hey, does my dog actually like me? Then they give you signs that your dog likes you. Let me go to one of the stories I looked up. Signs your dog, your, hold on, your new dog likes you. This is a good conversation.

You feel that way because like when you come home, he doesn't run to the door? No. It's just like, it's like sometimes you see dogs on TV and shit are like other people's dogs, and they look like happy and smiling, and they look like they like the people. That's going to be rough. Well, we're watching dock diving dogs. Now, this dog's an agility dog. He's fast as hell.

But like, I don't know. He would crush that agility course. Like, I think Ross legitimately does like us. He just doesn't look like he does. What? We have to watch. The American Kennel Club Dog Sports Series on ES espn ross that could be you dog okay let me see here how to tell if your dog loves you 10 signs to look for ross we've only known each other for three weeks do

you love us let's see they wag their tail when they see you does ross wag his tail when he sees us he does i see wag his tail that's sign us? He does. I see him wag his tail. That's sign number one. Sign two, they keep eye contact with you. Ross keeps eye contact. He's working on it. He does. He'll look at you when you rub his little face.

Three, they greet you when you come up. He does greet me. He'll get off the couch and come to the front room. Now, Luther would run out there and be super duper fucking excited, and then he would run to the couch and jump around that's not what ross does ross doesn't really run to the front room to greet either of us but like when you leave he'll go poke his head out the window out there and like so like he misses us like maybe he's just getting used to us we're good we walk you all the time we give you treats all the time we treat treat you well. Let's see. Dad gets up

at 6 a.m. to let you outside to pee every morning. They lick you. I get licks and kisses from the pup. I haven't really gotten licks yet. You didn't do a ton, but they bring you their toys. He's working on it. They raise their eyebrows at you.

Ross doesn't have eyebrows. You don't have eyebrows, right? Let's see. They follow you around. He follows you around for sure. He follows us both around. He goes everywhere. They sleep with you.

Now, okay. Well, if that's a true sign that the dog loves you, if the dog sleeps with you, and that's a true sign that the dog loves you, then this dog is a stalker. He's interesting because he doesn't have like one spot that he lays in yet it's either right between both of our pillows like or on top of the pillows top of my pillow like literally on my head or like last night he slipped by your legs which was cute he did so look i think he's i think when you have a new dog like i don't remember how luther was the couple of weeks, but he could have been like that too. I don't know.

I don't remember all that. That was 12 years ago, so I don't remember all that. They rub their face against yours. There's nothing quite like the feeling of your dog nuzzling. Do you nuzzle my face? I probably initiate that. And they wiggle around you. Dogs wear their hearts on their sleeves, and a full body wiggle is a telltale sign your pup is head over heels in love.

Ross, do you love us? I don't know that I've seen him wiggle. Again, it's been three weeks. I know. You know, it's not even been three weeks. So, I don't know, but he clearly is comfortable around us, and I think he's going to, you know, chill out even more, and we're going to get him some training, obviously.

I wonder, like, if he misses having a dog around, obviously. Oh, I think he's gonna you know chill out even more and we're gonna get him some training obviously so I wonder like if he misses having a dog around oh I oh I think he does and I think at some point we'll have to get another dog because obviously Luther didn't give two shits about other dogs so like getting another dog never was in the cards like we tried it once it was a failure so we were never gonna get another dog foruther but i think this guy wants the companionship of another dog that's why like what i think he gets excited to see dogs on walks and every time we are like he'll stop and sniff and look happy around a dog and then be happy so like i think he wants another dog but i'm certainly not going to get another dog as we sit here hopefully on the verge of moving somewhere else but you had such a cute little face didn't you ross and we said let's go get ross let's go meet roscoe yeah we weren't even supposed to get hopefully on the verge of moving somewhere else. But you had such a cute little face, didn't you, Ross?

And we said, let's go get Ross. Let's go meet Roscoe. Yeah, we weren't even supposed to get a dog. But then we did. Then we got Roscoe, and Roscoe's wonderful. So I don't know what to tell you, kiddos, but he's a good, sweet puppy, and I think he likes us. And, you know, how do you know?

I mean, like, I read all these things. But, like, not all dogs are like that. Some dogs just have this demeanor about them. some dogs just have just kind of like that face that like some dogs have like the total like face that looks like they're smiling and some dogs don't now we've never seen Ross like in a hot situation where he's panting and we can make believe that it's a smile like we used to do with Luther so like i don't know but um i think ross goes pretty solid i like him i think he's a good boy i think he likes us um and again if he didn't like us wouldn't he just come out here and lay by himself and like be like screw you guys would he

follow us around that's one of the big ones like i think the following us around all the time shows that like we're boys or he just wants food he loves food that's also possible it's quite possible that really what we're dealing with here is that this dog just knows that we are the gatekeepers as it relates to treats and that um that he needs to uh follow us around to get said treats so that's also possible but you could just let me have this and let me think that maybe roscoe likes us a little bit the trainer that we're working with at the daycare we used to take Luther to, right? Yeah. She's even like, oh, if you want to get him to like athletics, I know people who like train dog, dock divers.

And I'm like, ooh, he'd be good at that. Like maybe that, maybe Ross becomes the financial. The breadwinner? Yeah. Maybe Ross will be like show parents. We're like Macaulay culkin's parents and we're like embezzling and hiding his money you watch the kennel club shows it's like now here's josh and ross and like you he runs the agility course he jumps to like he's super fast and i think he'd

be really good at that i think that would be pretty lit i think that's kind of the goal here is oh we become kept people by ross and then maybe before you know it, he's doing like halftime shows at basketball games and he's like dunking basketballs and shit. You're like Air Bud, aren't you, Ross? He'll be like the Flash. What the hell's the Flash? At the Braves game. What the hell's that?

The guy that races everybody. Oh, yeah, that was at the Braves? Yeah, okay, so, yeah, but he'll be like Dog Flash. Yes, and no one will ever beat him. Ross, that's a fun idea, isn't it, Roscoe? Boy, we got great big plans for old Ross. But anywho, all right, we got some stuff we got to get into here. So here's what I'm going to do because we've got –

there's not a lot of prop bets out right now for the weekend for Prop Tee Drop, but we do have the list of incentives that players are out there to meet. We're talking financial money incentives. So let's look at those and see if we like those. We'll do that here on the next pod, so that's coming up.