The Josh Innes Show - Life With A New Pup

Episode Date: December 17, 2024

Here we are, just a few days into our new life with Ross the pup. He's a sweet boy. He is quite obsessed with me. That said, I have felt some sort of weird guilt as it relates to having a new dog. I know that is dumb. We don't really know what breed he is. But, I think I may have found one that makes sense. How do these dogs survive on the streets? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Glad you're with me this morning. It's about 9 o'clock. I'm sitting in my bed in my underwear with our pup Ross here. He is quite the needy little individual. I know we talked about him drunkenly on the pod on Sunday, but he is a sweet boy. It's interesting because you never know how you're going to feel about a new dog, especially when you had a dog for 12 years and only that dog, like never had another dog. We tried once to have that other dog that we had for about a week,

not even a week, I don't think. And that was one of the worst things ever, was having to take that dog back to the foster. Now, the good news for that dog that we called Hayden, because we had Luther from Coach and then we had Hayden, Hayden Fox. He was a great dog, and he had tons of energy, and he was wonderful, and he liked Luther, but Luther didn't like him.

But it was horrible having to call the foster and be like, hey, listen, we don't think this is going to work out, and our dog just doesn't like him. So then we had to make the long-ass drive out to, I guess that was all the way out in Katy that we had to make the long ass drive out to um i guess that was all the way out and katie that we had to drive and bring this dog back and it's the worst i ever felt like i just felt god awful about it but um but yeah um this dog we're not taking back now he's got his

quarks of course uh when we got him they said he's a runner and like i see him looking at these little holes that are in the fences here and i'm having to put up boards and other stuff just to make sure he doesn't run away but and he's got lots of energy and he hops and bops around and has a good time and like tons of energy and he follows me everywhere like i don't know if he'll grow out of that or not which part of it's kind of nice but but other times you're like, you know, Hey Ross, I'm just going to take a leak. You don't have to get off the couch. I think the best was when we were, um, drinking beers and watching football on Sunday night. And we probably talked about this. If, if I talked about this, I apologize. Like, listen, I was somehow I got ended up just super hammered on Sunday. Like all day, I didn't really have anything to drink.

Then I just started drinking beers on the couch and I had to put the cooler by the couch because if I didn't and I had to get up and get another beer, Ross would follow me everywhere. So I was just like, listen, I'll bring the cooler over here. Hardcore degenerate status. I'm aware it's hardcore degenerate status. Totally get it.

But I had the cooler, like a large cooler next to me on the couch so I didn't have to get up uh because I didn't want uh Ross sorry about that Ross I didn't want Ross to follow me and that's another tough thing is not calling your dog your new dog your old dog's name now I kind of get what my dad deals with every day when he's got like 11 kids and he calls all of them Josh basically but that's how it goes or like but the thing is he doesn't call me Josh he calls me Presley and that's kind of how I am with Mr. Ross over here I'll go like you know I'll just like flippantly throw out the name Luther and then I'll go oh shit I'm sorry Ross you're not Luther

you're Ross but so we're sitting on the couch on Sunday night watching football and all that and and like I got a cooler next to me like a hardcore degenerate filled with bush lattes the bush lattes some of them are skunked I don't know why they're skunked again i'm gonna guess we talked about this on sunday night so just bear with me but like every time i would move this dog would go hey where are you going if i got up to go to the fridge he'd follow me the problem is once he'd go to the fridge with me and then i'd come back to the couch he wouldn't come back and just sit down he'd wander around the house and i'm like r, why don't you come sit up here with us? We're watching the football game.

And he's like, no, I'm not going to watch the football game because Geno Smith is hurt and our bets are already crashed anyway. So why would I come sit with you? But every day he's gotten better about stuff. He likes to go for some walks like most dogs do. Every now and then he gets what you'd call the zoomies and just goes bat shit crazy and starts running around and having a good time. But the good news is every day he's gotten better about things.

And we're going to get him some training over at the dog daycare that Luther used to go to. They do some training. I want to make sure he gets some basic stuff. Mostly I need him to listen to me when I say, hey, come on, let's go. Because I don't need you trying to burrow through the fence and get the hell out of here. And then I lose the pup. You know what's fascinating, though, come on, let's go because I don't need you trying to burrow through the fence and get the hell out of here. And then I lose the pup. You know what's fascinating, though, about puppies, about dogs? Yeah, puppies two years old.

We went to the vet yesterday to get him a Bordetella shot and everything. And we went in and we asked the vet if he agreed with the foster's assessment and the previous vet's assessment that the dog's probably two to three years old. And they said, yeah, somewhere around there. But it's wild to think that they think he's still underweight. He's about 31 pounds. They think he needs to get to about 32, 32 and a half pounds for him to be at his ideal weight, which is interesting to me because like one, we had a dog that never wanted to eat before,

but was always just thick and stout. But it's also fascinating because like you wonder what these dogs were doing on the street, how long this dog was on the street. Was he just dumped? Because here's the thing. He had he had balls like he just got neutered. I'm sorry about that, Ross. I feel terrible, but they don't like dogs to have balls.

I don't know. It's an anti dog ball sentiment. I don't care. I wish you still did. And you've got the little pouch where the balls were. I guess you'd call that the sack. The sack is still there waiting to heal. So I'm sorry that you lost your testicles. I'm sorry about that. It wasn't a choice I made. That's society. Society is against your type, Ross, and I'm sorry about that you deserve better than that but as I mean look you're not going to get the balls back the balls are gone they're finished you got a little empty sack down there it's fine you'll live you're still a good boy but what's interesting is like I think about what these dogs were doing when they're on the street because you see them

now and you kind of see just how pathetic the little pup is like it's fascinating that this dog was able to survive on the streets as long as this dog did and again who knows how long it was like who knows if the owner had the dog but like i wonder why would this owner have a dog at you know a two-year-old dog and then just one day be like i'm gonna dump it Like given the fact that this dog has a history of wanting to try to escape and run, like I wonder if he was somebody's dog and then got away, but he didn't have a collar, didn't have a microchip. So is it possible, as wild as it may seem, is it possible that this dog was like just born and then just on his own for two years? Is that possible that possible but no it couldn't be

possible because there's no way a dog from the time he's a puppy till he's two years old I don't think is going to survive on the streets that way you're going to get hit by a car you're going to end up malnourished and hungry and all that so like were you just dumped Ross what was your story I need to know your story Ross tell me give me the details on how you ended up here. It's just a fascinating thing, man. I don't know how to explain it. But let me play a couple commercials here, and then we'll continue this discussion. All right.

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was luther's story because they found him as a stray so like and i don't know how old he was when he was found like because the the foster the no kill rescue slash foster they didn't have him first so i don't know it's it's fascinating how these dogs survive but what makes it even more fascinating about how they survive is you've got these dogs like this they survive on the street somehow and then you see how pathetic they are when you get them in the house and you're like what were you doing out there what were you eating like we we took uh Ross over here to a park was it yesterday no it was the day before so it was Sunday morning we took Ross to a park in Illinois big loop you know big walk it's a mile long loop and it's kind of in the woods and stuff.

And as we're walking, we see some critter walk across the sidewalk. And I'm looking at that and Jilly's like, is that a cat or a stray dog? And I looked at it closer and it was a large fox. And I'm like, Jilly, that's a fox. She goes, holy shit. Well, don't let the dog mess with the fox. I'm like, I'm not. He's far enough away. But I'm like, does that fox have something in his mouth? And I look closer. That fox had a squirrel dangling from his mouth, right? And I'm looking at this.

And then I look at this dog over here who currently is pathetic and curled up. And in the three days he's been here, he's completely occupied my bed to the point that my ass is hanging off the bed. How did this dog survive in the wilderness, in the mean streets when there's foxes eating, eating fucking squirrels, when there's other predators out there where there's, who knows, werewolves? I don't know what the fuck's out in the woods. I'm not out in the woods, you know, in the middle of the night. So I don't know. Somehow this dog managed to survive on the streets. That's what's fascinating to me about dogs because then you get them home and get them domesticated

and they're little babies. This dog cannot go anywhere without me. He loses his mind. And also, what is it about me that dogs gravitate to? I try to figure it out. I think dogs kind of gravitate to men a lot of time anyway because out. Like I think dogs kind of gravitate to men a lot of time anyway, because I don't know if it's like, I'm like the pack leader. Do I look like a dog? Do I look like a big bear? Is it my beard? Is it the fact that I'm large? Because when I met this guy, and maybe this is where we established my dominance over the pack, but when we met this dog, we were at the foster's house and I'm standing up in the, in this lady's kitchen, which very nice people. Uh, but I go into their kitchen. It's also, who knows if we were walking

into a setup, it could have been an ambush for all I know, like who just shows up at someone's house and it's like, Hey, I'm here for this dog. We could have walked inside and then been eaten by these people. These people could have been cannibals. They could have robbed us and eaten us. It could have been a setup, but Nope. Instead I was like, yep, we're going to go to Carbondale, Illinois, and we're going to meet these people in this house. And it would have been the perfect setup because the lady I talked to on the phone had the sweetest voice. She was so nice. And she's like, oh, Saturday's great. You can meet Ross. He's such a sweet boy. He's a cuddler and he's all this. And I'm like, sure, that works for me. So we could have been walking into an ambush. This could have been a setup.

Second, we open the door. They invite us. And it could have been like that damn movie we went to see a couple weeks ago with Hugh Grant where the girls are trying to convert him to Mormonism. And then before you know it, they're in a dungeon. Spoiler alert. They're in a fucking dungeon. Heretic is what it's called.

This could have been what it is. He's in there acting like he's got a wife cooking pies and shit. And then we walk in there to get some pie. And then we geted and then we get raped and then we get our money taken and then before you know they're harvesting our fucking organs obviously Ross that didn't happen I'm over exaggerating a bit that was not the issue but we met you and I'm in the kitchen standing up and like I don't know what this means but I walk in, and they say that this dog had not been around men a lot. And he just peed. He got really excited and peed.

And I'm like, well, it's nice to see you too, bud. And maybe that's where I established my dominance over the pack. Maybe that's where it was determined that I was the alpha. Maybe that's where we established on that very day, on Saturday, when we went to Carbondale, Illinois, and this dog peed on the floor, maybe what was established is I'm the captain now. Maybe that's what happened. I don't know. But he's a sweet boy. Like the people love him. He's got a sweet face. It is weird though. It's weird to have a different dog that isn't Luther because Luther is my dog like i've had luther forever had him for 11 years 12 years however long it was and he's just a totally different personality than

this dog like luther was sort of dependent although he really wasn't dependent because he also need like luther wouldn't chase me around everywhere like if i got up to go to the bathroom luther would still stay on the couch Whereas this dog in his early stages here, it's like if I adjust my crotch, the dog's like, where are we going? Luther obviously didn't do that, but we had Luther for 12 years. I wouldn't say I feel any sort of guilt.

Early on I did. There was like a weirdness. And I don't know if any of you have experienced it. If you have, send me a message. DM me because I'd love to hear you. Now, a lot of people probably don't me and jilly are probably very strange people and most people have multiple dogs so it's not weird to have a different dog but we experienced it with luther and and when we tried to adopt hayden for

a couple of um you know a couple of days where we just felt fucking terrible for luther we're like does he feel like we've betrayed him have we we betrayed his trust? He's like, what did I do wrong? What the fuck's the deal here? And then Hayden was trying to kind of assert his dominance and like take over barking when the Amazon guy would come. And Luther at one point was really fighting him on it. And then at one point just kind of gave up. And I'm like, I will not let Luther give up because he's an asshole. And Luther does not give up. But like, I don't know if other people experience this. And if you do DM me, and if you're someone who's got my phone number, text me. Like there was a guilt early on. Now, mind you, Luther hasn't been around since early July. So we're talking about five

months, but I felt a little bit of a guilt. I'm like, I feel bad. Like, like, and there's just certain things that feel weird. And I was talking to a friend of mine whose dog died, I think, earlier this year. And then he got another one relatively soon after because he saw this dog on Facebook that reminded him of the other dog. I guess the positive for me is this dog doesn't really remind me of Luther. He doesn't look like Luther. He's totally different. To me, it would have almost felt weird to get a dog that looked like Luther.

Although I like Schnauzers. And maybe we'll get another dog because this dog likes dogs. I think he's lonely without doggy companionship because at his foster home, there were like two or three dogs. So like he had buddies and maybe that would keep him interested. And maybe that's why he's so wired is he doesn't have a buddy. I don't know. We may get another dog once we move. Hopefully we move somewhere, get a job, get a nice big yard, and he can run around all day to his heart's content, lay around with his buddies, you know, whatever. But, like, I did feel a guilt, a little bit of a guilt, kind of a, like, you're not Luther. Like, it almost felt like a stepchild.

Like, I didn't feel like I was as inviting to the dog because I'm like, you're not Luther. And I was talking to a friend of mine. This is where it was going with him getting another dog. He was telling me that sometimes he would find himself in situations where he'd be mad that this dog wasn't doing what his old dog did. Like Luther knew what bed was. Luther knew what outside was. And this dog is just learning that. You get kind of like, not mad, but kind of like aggravated because you're used to something being the case. Not the dog's fault. Just one of those type of things.

But as each day has gone on and this dog has gotten more comfortable, and trust me, this dog is comfortable here. Like he's still a little wired. But let me tell you how comfortable this little bastard is. We got this big bed, king size bed, right? Huge bed. He's got a place where he can lay at the end of it. There's an ottoman that Luther used to sleep on. We got him pillows and everything.

This dog somehow finds his way in between the two of us, but not in between our legs. This dog finds himself like with his face buried in my face. And early in the night, it starts out fine. Like there's plenty of space. He curls up. He's in a little ball. Fine. By about six in the morning, each day that he's been here, half of my ass is hanging off the bed. His paws and legs are fully extended and I am pushed into the nightstand and

I'm like, what the hell, dude? And maybe we'll work on that, Ross, because you're kind of a bed hog. Also, he sheds a little bit, not a ton. He sheds a little bit, which is something that we didn't experience with Luther. He didn't shed at all, but this isn't bad. I get out the lint roller. By the way, speaking of lint rollers, they're a pain in the ass. Is it possible for anyone to ever just get the one sheet of lint roller off one time around and get the perforated edge and get another sheet? It's impossible. I'm not trying to go all Seinfeld on you like, what is it with lint rollers? But it's true. I'm looking at the lint roller right now and it's got like four or five different layers on the main layer as if

someone took claws and just ran them down like Nightmare on Elm Street, like Freddy just ripped his glove through the lint roller. I don't know if I got to find another way because I hate lint rollers. It's a never ending battle. It is a war between me and the lint roller. And it's been that way my entire life. That's why I give up on the lint roller. I don't understand lint rollers. There I admitted it. I'm a failure at life. I don't understand lint rollers. But what I do is I get out the lint roller, roll the bed one time. There's a little bit of a little bit of fur. You know, he's a little bit more coarse than Luther was. Luther was like the softest little fluffy puppy. Whereas this guy's more wiry. We don't know what the hell he is. In fact, my phone, here was what the phone

decided that this dog was. Let me see. Let me run the picture again so there's this picture and then let me hit the button again here look up this says flat coated retriever and german wire haired pointer and then it shows me photo examples and i'm like yeah maybe it is like there's jagged Terrier. Now that sounds badass. Maybe you're a Jagged Terrier. The website that we got you from, it said you were a schnoodle. And maybe they called you a schnoodle because they were trying to get you adopted and they know that people are really turned on by the idea of a schnoodle. I'm not saying that they were liars by any means, but you ain't a schnoodle. Like, you ain't even remotely close to a schnoodle, Ross.

So not to judge you. I'm not judging you for it. You're a lovely boy. He does have some patches of like where he's still having his hair grow back because apparently this little guy had the worst fleas ever. So he was obviously out on the streets for a long time. And again, how you survived, I don't know. Watching you scarf down food, you would think you're never going to eat again. So you were clearly hungry.

He was like six pounds underweight. Now they say he's only about a pound. So that's good. You know, you kind of give off this jagged terrier. You might be a jagged terrier. Let's say a hunting terrier is a type of working terrier originated in Germany. Look at you. You're German.

Like a Volkswagen. Like an overly hungry, malnourished, flea-covered Volkswagen. Or like the entire cast of Willy Wonka. You're like a Gustus Gloop. Good for you. That is used for hunting quarry both above and underground. This breed of terrier is also called the German Hunt Terrier. You might be a jagged terrier other names deutscher jagged terrier german jog is it

jagged oh is it like maybe maybe jagged's not the way you pronounce it ross because it's j-a-g-d hold on j-a-g-d-t-E-R-R-I-E-R. So is it like Yamir Yager? Hockey player. Oh, you know what we can do today, Ross? We can bet on hockey. But anyway, maybe you're called the Yagad Terrier. Ooh, that sounds like some real fucking like some like fucking inglorious bastard shit there.

I'm a Yagad Terrier. Yagad Terrier sounds like you could do one of those steinholding competitions at Oktoberfest. Ooh, you want to go to Oktoberfest, Ross? Boy, oh, we'll get you like some lederhosen. And we'll be like, don't worry, he's German. He's a Jogged Terrier. He's a Jagged Terrier. Okay, here we go. Here's the pronunciation. Oh, oh boy this is not what i expected it's actually got a k sound like yawk yawk terrier oh i think this might be who you are i think there's a guy that's a rough coated yawk terrier i think you're a yawk coated terrier. Look at you, you little scruffy-faced little bastard. Holy cow.

And I can call you a bastard because we don't know your dad. German hunting terrier? German hunt terrier? Look at that. Generally speaking, the weight for these dogs... Well, no, you're a little bit heavier than this, so maybe you're different. The weight is usually 20 to 22 pounds so maybe you're not a yacht here but i want to believe you are not because like i want you to be a nazi or anything

that'd be weird but like but do you but i'm gonna i wouldn't want you to be that but i don't think you are you like too many people i don't think you see race or anything like that you're just a nice guy but your beard almost leads me to believe like your little scruffy face like maybe you're a yuck terrier or a german like the the examples of similar web images like does this this dog looks a lot like you too and this is a scottish terrier chihuahua maybe you're a scottish terrier chihuahua mix this is a jackapoo i don't think you're a jackapoo but i could see chihuahua in your face you got a little bit of a chihuahua quality about you here's a story about dogs in Great Falls, Montana. Fuck, you'd love Great Falls, Montana, you yacht terrier son of a bitch.

Look at you. There's a Paterdale terrier. You kind of look like that. Look, I think you're a yacht terrier. I think you're a German. Yeah, look at you. You want some brat? You want like a worst of some?

You want like a not worst? You want some sort of worst? Boy, you'd kill want some, you want like a worst of some, you want like a not worst? Want some sort of worst? Boy, you'd kill in some later hosen. Boy, look at you. You're a good boy. Good sweet puppy. Now you're just over there snoozing. I got your ass up, you pooped, and now you're snoozing again. But that's good because it gives me an opportunity to do the pod the people demand the pod so anyway uh that is an update on our yuck terrier jag terrier jagged terrier or you know just a mud of some sort either way uh that's an update on ross and we will do more