The Josh Innes Show - LSU Wins!!!

Episode Date: October 13, 2024

Holy Shit!!! The Fighting' Tigers have beaten Ole Miss. I am hammered and happy!! Beer is good. Shots are great. Lets Geaux!! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What's up motherfuckers? It is 12.22 in the morning. It is Saturday into Sunday. And I'm watching the last couple minutes of the Kansas State Colorado game. Colorado's losing by 10. They've already thrown for the passing yard, so I don't give a shit. Big fourth down play for Sheet Heuer Sanders, who converted. So this game's still not over yet. But the Louisiana State University fighting Tigers with a big victory over the Ole Miss Rambles. Been drinking

some beer. What is that? Is that my Soty Pop? Yeah, put it over there. I'll finish the Soty Pop in a second. Hot damn. What is that? There's still some in that? How much is in that? Oh, yeah, I'll finish that.

That's mine. I'll drink the soda, too. I don't give a shit. Let me tell you something. People have been tweeting like, hey, do a podcast. Do a podcast after LSU been tweeting like hey do a podcast do a podcast after lsu won i will do a podcast after lsu won what a miracle a miracle that was the the there was listen we have been given a miracle by the football gods you don't get these all that often it's not something that happens every day because look, I don't know that LSU was the better team today. I mean, I don't know. Really. I think

it was a pretty evenly played game to be fair. Some turnover, some wacky shit happened, crazy shit, all that. But I will tell you this, that my Louisiana state university fighting tigers with every opportunity given to them that they squandered, they squandered opportunities, they still went out, took it to overtime. Dude, Garrett Nussmeier threw the ball 50-something times. His completion percentage was like 40%. But it doesn't matter. The Louisiana State University fighting Tigers in Death Valley, the cathedral of college football,

the greatest venue that you will ever witness a college football game in. Miracles happen, baby. And I've seen some miracles happen in that stadium in my day. I used to go to every game there, man. I had a media pass. I went to every game. I've seen some. I saw the five fourth down conversions against Florida.

I've seen some. I saw the five fourth down conversions against Florida. I've seen some miracles, baby. But what I saw tonight was my Louisiana State University fighting Tigers who had no business winning. Defense showed up. But every time the defense showed up, the offense didn't do a goddamn thing. But then they somehow found a way. It's fourth down and five. What's going to happen?

Oh, Garrett Nussmeier throws a touchdown late in the game. We got a tie ball game. We're going to overtime. What happens in overtime? The LSU defense shows up again. My God. I'm telling you. And then they get the ball back.

First play out of the shoot. You know what LSU says? Hey, let's just throw this fucker to the end zone. We're ending this shit. Fuck you, Lane Kiffin. Fuck you, everybody else that plays for Ole Miss. Fuck you, Ole Miss fans. We are Louisiana State University.

We are 5-1, and now me and Jilly are about to get in the old the wagon queen family truckster and next Saturday we are going to be in Fayetteville Arkansas because we have a what you would call an Airbnb out in the middle of nowhere

in Arkansas and we are going to drive the five hours over there to see the Louisiana State University Fighting Tigers take on the arkansas razorbacks pig suey razorback and we're ready to fucking go what a night man had some nice beer had some uh some uh the um had some bush lights those are delicious had some bush lights. Those are delicious. Had some what the fuck? What else did I drink?

Oh, I had the purple haze. Had some shots. Not a lot because we do touchdown shots. LSU only scored, what, three touchdowns. But you know what? We did the shots for those. Ah, what a night. What a night. We call this a four seasons night. You know what? It's oh, what a night what a night we call this a uh we call this a uh a four seasons night you know

what it's oh what a night we did yes Colorado did score so they're about to kick an extra point they're going to be down by three with six and a half minutes to go against Colorado State ah boy I tell you when I say Colorado State shit I've had so much beer and so many shots, but tonight is an oh, what a night. And then it's a Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons night. Oh, what a night. Late December back in 63. Doobie doo, don't know the words you see.

Oh, little lady, what a night. Yep, great celebration. Running through the backyard here at our St. Louis house here, just running through the backyard going crazy all night, thinking we're going to lose this shit. Then we went in an overtime. Now we're 5-1, going to be in the top 10 whenever the next week starts. Then we go to Arkansas.

Shit is going down. What a day at college football, though. Just an amazing time. You know, I hit some parlays. I really didn't hit any parlays, per se, because I didn't play any parlays. But, boy, did you know that LSU has won eight consecutive home games against Ole Miss? How about that shit?

What a time. I'm telling you. You know what we're doing? We're doing some living. We're living in love. Live, laugh, love. That's what we're doing tonight. Live, laugh, love.

Like Mr. Clay Walker said, we're going to live, laugh, love just for the day. We're going to take all the trouble that tomorrow might bring and throw it away gonna drink every drop of happiness till they cover me up i'm gonna live gonna laugh gonna love shit yeah we are god we got the no the live laugh i don't think he started that. I think he stole that and he made a song out of it. Then we got the NFL tomorrow. You know what? If God's looking down a pawn on me this weekend, he's going to say,

you know what, Josh? You know what we're going to do? The New Orleans Saints, the black and gold, are going to have an opportunity to beat the Tampa Bay Bucs and keep their season alive because if they lose the season's pretty much over but if they win with spency fucking rat leash oh you did I remember Jilly uh she rubbed uh Luther's uh ashes over there on his little box she rubbed Luther's box that sounds weird but she rubbed Luther's box over there on his little box. She rubbed Luther's box.

That sounds weird. But she rubbed Luther's box. She said, Luther, bring us a victory. You know what Luther did? He said, Dad, I got you. I got you a victory. We're going to win this shit. Lucky puppy's here.

And then lucky puppy came through. That's my boy. But, you know, and then tomorrow, dude, if the football gods want me to have a nice weekend, first of all, I expect the Saints to lose tomorrow. So it's not like a situation where I'll go, oh boy, it's a horrible weekend if they lose. I expect them to lose. If they win, that's what we call in Louisiana, my sort of home state, we call it lanyap, a little something extra.

If the Saints end up winning and climbing back into contention here a little bit with a win over Tampa, that's lanyard. I don't expect them to win. Although I got my boy, Spencey Ratley, my boy, Spencey Ratley. He's not Derek Carr. Derek Carr is dog shit. Now, maybe, maybe Spencey Ratley will also be dog shit. Very possible. He might go out there and get his ass handed to him and he might suck. I don't know that I expect him to be great. However, he's not Derek Carr. And I can tell you this, I fucking hate Derek Carr.

He's the fucking worst. I hated him when he was with the Raiders. I hate him with the Saints. I hate his dipshit coach Dennis Allen. I just want these sacks of shit to be gone. I want my New Orleans Saints to have a better coach and a better quarterback, but maybe Spencey Ratley is going to show up and be a god. He might show up and go, you know what I got tonight? Victories. W's. Eating that W like J-Bone Winston, like Jabuins is going to go out there. Maybe that's what's going to happen. That's what I hope happens. But if they don't, I'll be sad.

I won't even be sad that the Saints lose. If they lose, they lose. It is what it is because I don't expect them to go out and win games tomorrow because they have a backup quarterback playing and they got a ton of injuries. And I feel like I've got the benefit now of watching the LSU fight and Tigers in Death Valley Saturday night in Death Valley it never rains in Tiger Stadium best atmosphere you'll ever be in in your life watching that happen I feel like this weekend's already a victory. Because that means next weekend, when my fat ass gets in the car with my lady and we drive from St. Louis, Missouri to Fayetteville, Arkansas on Friday, Saturday is the game, 6 o'clock, 6.30, whatever time the game kicks off. It's going to be a nice night in Fayetteville, Arkansas.

We've got a 5-1 football team going to Arkansas next week I there Jilly of course there could be a letdown but I'm happy that like would you have preferred to go into that game and be like you know what we're not gonna do dick like you're right Arkansas is due for a letdown they are that's the thing man like I'm not sitting here telling you that uh that like look what would you rather would you rather LSU have gone in losing that game and being four and two or being five and one gonna be in the top 10 going to Arkansas home of the hog ass hillbillies and Walmart and Tyson chicken and toothless fucks we're gonna go to Arkansas and we're gonna fuck them in the ass and it's gonna be amazing and we're gonna be at that point six and one with

what five weeks to go let me tell you something this is a blessing this is a blessing five and one feels nice I would have preferred they have beaten USC to start the season, be 6-0, but you know what it is? What it is? USC, they went out, they got my passing yards. Thank you very much. What's that asshole from, what's his name? Miller Moss. Miller Moss got the yards for me and the combo of Miller Moss and the dingus from Drew Aller. They got 500 passing yards for me. Thank you. Miller Moss got his passing yards on his own. Thank you. Blessings. Hashtag thanks a lot. But USC, of course, they're 3-3, so our loss to them doesn't look as good.

But still, it is what it is. That was the second longest game in Tiger Stadium. That was the second. Hold on. Let me try to guess. So you said that was the second longest game at LSU and Tiger Stadium. It was a long game. Four hours and 16 minutes.

Do they have the longest game on there? All right. I'm going to guess the longest game in Tiger Stadium was either Kentucky 2007 or Arkansas 2007. Arkansas. Yeah, that went to triple overtime. And 420? Yep, that game.

Did I go to that game? No, I didn't. Because, you know, it's funny. That Arkansas game they lost in triple overtime. I had, and that was, they used to play that game the day after Thanksgiving. And I had to go do a high school football game on TV. I wore a suit for that shit. What the fuck am I doing with my life? Wearing a suit, doing play-by-play on TV for high school

football, but it was live. It was the Coxford game of the week, baby. Let's see what happens here. Dude, so uh-oh, got a big third down coming up for Kansas State. If they don't convert this, they got a long field goal here. Colorado's only down three. Deion's got them boys believing. Believe it! Ah, boy, I tell you. What a time to be alive.

LSU with the big win. Bets are hitting. Got the Saints tomorrow. Got the Texans tomorrow. Might go throw some meat on the fucking smoker tonight. I don't know. I'm crazy, bro. I don't give a shit.

I might go season up this Chuck roast tonight. What happened? Why? What did Nussmeyer do, Jelly? So the game-winning quarterback and his dog Ace. Oh, what a pretty. Look, I don't hate the Nuss. I just thought it.

You know what, Jilly? I'm allowed to say I hate him when we suck. I know. Oh, what a pretty puppy. I know. Oh, what a. Yeah. Tigerland's gross, though.

Oh, dude, you know what's going to happen here? Kansas State now is about to have to. Are they going for it on fourth and six? This is a big play. If they don't convert this, Colorado's in position to win the fucking game with four minutes to go. Big play. Oh, did they get him to jump?

I think they got him to jump. He's just like, on what road is he on? He's just like. Let's see. That's outside of the stadium, I think. Oh, what a. He's got a handsome puppy. Dude, Nussmeier was so bad for so much of that game.

But still, what a time to be alive. God damn it. I love Louisiana State University. I know, but he's like, I'm going home with my dog. I'm going home with my dog. God, what a time to be alive. I spent last night in the arms of a girl in Louisiana. No man on the highway, my thoughts are still with her.

Such a strange combination of woman and a child. Such a strange situation, stopping every hundred miles, calling Baton Rouge. Here we go, operator, put me on through. I got to send my love down to Baton Rouge. Baton Rouge. Oh, boy. So Kansas State, I guess there was a timeout on that play.

So if Kansas State can pick up a first down here, Colorado's in deep doo-doo. But we'll see what happens here. Fourth and six. Oh, it's intercepted. Holy shit. He might take it. He's going to go. Oh, he's intercepted. Holy shit. He's going to go. Oh, he fell down. Oh, he fell down at the 20.

Holy shit. Deion's boys are only 20 yards away from taking the lead. Holy shit. Colorado. Boy, Kansas State. Colorado's got a little juju a little magic about them I don't even think they're any good but here they are here we are boys and girls and babes dude Colorado they're down three so at worst they get a field goal here

holy shit boy and I don't think K-State. I hate the K-State quarterback. And look, I'm drinking booze. I'm doing shots. Life is good. All that. This fucking Avery Johnson, not the basketball player. This guy is the opposite of the basketball player. He's a white dude with horrible curly hair.

This son of a bitch. I hate him because he's not any good. He fucked me in one game earlier this year i don't remember which one i think it was against arizona fuck him but um boy all the sudden this game's got so much drama in it what a time to be alive um all that said, I still feel blessed. Hashtag blessed that LSU won tonight. And, um, it's just a good time to be alive. I'm living good. Living large. Might go throw some fucking, I don't know. I might go put this meat on the smoker tonight.

I might go make some ramen. I don't know. Shit's fucking great tonight. What's Colorado going to do? They have the ball at the 17-yard line. Shador throws. That ball is caught at the 10 by number 82. Don't know who he is, but he caught it.

So now they're at about second and three. Shador's about to give them the lead, second and four. Sheet Hoover, who didn't really have to do anything here. K-State just gifted them this shit. Dude, Colorado's got some magic about them right now. It's at the 11. Second down and four from the 11. Shador out of the gun. Drops back. Looks left. Throws and is caught. Touchdown! How about that?

Touchdown, Colorado. Now they've got the lead. What a world. Next Saturday, Jelly, what? Oh, Shador and Fafita. That's 600 passing yards next week. It is. I'm going to take that.

So everybody, here's a little advance warning. Fafita and Shador next week. It is. I'm going to take that. So everybody, here's a little advance warning. Fafida and Shador next week. We'll see what happens. Boy, K-State, you really shat the bed against this. Like, I still don't think Colorado's any good, but here we are. Now let's see what K-State does with their long-haired freaky people quarterback i tell you what kids the world is wild shit's crazy i tell you what but you know what what are you gonna do what are you gonna do anyway

figured i'd get on here and do a little celebrating for my Louisiana State University Fighting Tigers. God, I've run through the backyard celebrating. It reminded me a lot of beating Bama, although beating Bama is a lot better than beating Ole Miss. But when we were in Nashville a couple years ago, we beat Bama and I ran through the backyard. It was a beautiful time.

This was also a beautiful time. It's time to be emotional. There's nothing wrong with that. But alcohol is tasty. I tell you what, living and loving is what we do, boys. Boy, I really

hate Colorado, though. That's the thing. I hate them because I don't think they're any good. But look at this. Boy, and I also hate K-State because they're weird, curly-haired, fuck quarterback. What a world. What a world. Anyway, all right.

By request, I gave you some LSU postgame there. And tomorrow we got the NFL. Maybe you'll get some fun NFL live bet podcast tomorrow. I don't know. We'll see. But anyway, I love you guys. Here's some sugars. Love you.