The Josh Innes Show - More Clickbait

Episode Date: April 11, 2025

USA Today may be the best when it comes to terrible, clickbait headlines. Eric Dane, star of "Grey's Anatomy" has been diagnosed with ALS. USA Today requires you to click a vague headline to find this out. Perhaps I care about this more than I should. You may think I'm a dope. That's fine. I just find it gross. Also, I find myself gross because every time I see a story about someone getting ALS or Parkinson's or MS, I think about myself being afflicted. What a tool Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Spring is here and you can now get almost anything you need delivered with Uber Eats. What do we mean by almost? You can't get a well-groomed lawn delivered, but you can get chicken parmesan delivered. Sunshine? No. Some wine? Yes. Get almost, almost anything delivered with Uber Eats. Order now. Alcohol in select markets. See app for details. I know I talked about this either yesterday or the day before, but I have a big issue with outlets using illness or death as clickbait, right? We don't, what did I say the other day? We do not tease. We do not forward sell death. That's not what we do. We don't, if you're on the radio, you don't say, boy, somebody died. We'll tell you who next. That's dickhead shit. And and again i understand that you

might say josh look at the messenger you've done a lot of dumb shit in your life and i have and not everything i do is something you would consider to be above board right like i get that that's fine but i'm i i am a staunch believer in this if someone is, the headline cannot be a clickbait headline. That is disgusting and I hate you. You can't do it. And I understand that some blogs are going to do it where there's no real decorum involved in that. Not judging blogs, it's reality. If you have a blog or a website, you don't really have to be someone that follows any sort of standard journalistic decorum, right? And that's fine. That's why your websites exist. That's why your podcasts exist. I don't care, right? Your own social media exists, fine. But if you are a

legitimate outlet or at least a perceived to be legitimate outlet a heritage media outlet that has a website or a paper for that matter but like a hard copy of a paper is different now television you're trying to get people to hold on if you tease that somebody died like hey a star of a television show died today we'll tell you you who next. You're a piece of shit. And honestly, I don't even think you should be allowed to broadcast anymore because at best it's just hacky and tacky and terrible. And at worst, you're a piece of shit, right? You're clickbaiting or trying to get people to hold over to find out who died. Also, I'm a big believer that teases are worthless at this point because people, the second they hear you tease something,

they'll go somewhere else to get it. They are not being held hostage by the radio or the television. They can instantly go to Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, wherever, and find out who the person was that died or got the disease or whatever. So teasing is pointless, but it's one of those dopey radio things they teach you. You got to make sure you tease to keep people around. Well, if I have a big guest coming up, I'll let you know that. If I'm just going to do another segment of giving opinions on some shit, I don't think the tease matters. And I've never believed the tease matters.

In fact, I'm a big believer of getting out on a good opinion and that will keep people around. To me, that's better to get out on a good aggressive thought on something or a laugh. And then you're onto the next thing. But anyway, Josh, what are you bitching about today? Well, uh, today, the outlet that I am bitching about is USA today, who I think I, I ripped the other day too, for the stuff about Octavio Dottel, uh, because the Octavio Dottel because the Octavio Dottel thing, the headline read, two former MLBers die in Dominican roof collapse. Of course, you have to click the story to find out who it is and all the details. And of course, they're not going to put Octavio Dottel in the

headline because Octavio Dottel is not a big star, not a big brand. So, of course, if it was Kobe Bryant who died in a roof collapse, his name would be in the headline because Kobe Bryant will get you to click the headline, whatever. Let me play a few commercials and we'll continue. All right, if you're ready to win some real cash during the basketball playoffs, you got to check out Pick 6 from DraftKings. When it comes to basketball payouts,

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Voidware prohibited. One per new customer. Bonus awarded is non-withdrawable pick six credits that expire in 14 days. Limited time offer. See terms at picksix.draftkings.com slash promos. And I know what you're thinking. You're thinking, Josh, you just teased somebody's death. I did not. I have to get these commercials in here because I got to make my $13 or whatever I'm going to make for this episode of the podcast. So bite your fucking tongue before you come at me, you sacks

of shit. And I say that with love, with peace and love, because I love you. So anyway, today, USA Today is the one that we shit on because USA Today has printed a story or posted a story in the case of being on the Internet, has posted a story about a celebrity who has been diagnosed with ALS. That is Lou Gehrig's disease, which by the way, like I don't live in like tons of fear of illness. Like I think I have some level of anxiety, but I think everybody does. I think anxiety is even more prevalent now than it was 100 years ago, 50 years ago, because now like we can read all about anxiety and you want to know a way to really get your anxiety going. Just go to the internet and read about fucking anxiety. Your head's going to fucking explode. You're going to be curled up in the fetal position. So like I, I would guarantee that our forefathers or our ancestors,

our great great grandfathers had some form of anxiety. They didn't have the goddamn internet to tell them that anxiety meant they were dying. So they just kind of pressed on with it and fought through it and swallowed it down and went out and worked in the fucking fields but anyway um i get like i don't get like freaked out by a bunch of illnesses but i have had encephalitis so i've had some fucked up shit happen to me before the thing that's that like that really freaks me out though are those kind of diseases that could just come up like cancer freaks me out too like i mean that mean, that's not even like, I mean, look, nobody wants to get fucking cancer. Like it's scary that like one day you seem totally fine. Then boom, the next day you got fucking cancer, you know, whether it's

you, your pet, whatever. Like my fucking dog had no idea my dog had cancer. He's struggling for a week. Boom. He's dead. You know, you don't know this shit, you know, it freaks you out. But like diseases like ALS or Parkinson's, right? That freaks me out too. Like I was convinced when I was initially, when I had encephalitis and then had to recover from it and all that, I was convinced that every headache I had, that every, um, every muscle spasm I had, everything. I was convinced that I had either ALS, that I had Parkinson's, that I had multiple sclerosis. I had convinced myself of this. So I'm sure I've told the story before, but my doctor, my neurologist gave me his email address and I would email this man constantly, Dr. Volpe, I feel bad for

this dude because anytime I felt any sort of issue, like if I felt off at all, I would email him to get confirmation that I did not have ALS or multiple sclerosis or Parkinson's. And I would message him all the time and I'd be like, hey, I noticed that my gait is a little bit off. Do you think that maybe the encephalitis has led to early onset multiple sclerosis? Hit me back. And he would always do it. I probably have all these old emails still in my Yahoo email from Dr. John Volpe. And I feel terrible for Dr. John Volpe. I have no idea what's going on in his life now.

I don't know what his family situation is. I don't know. But I feel so terrible because he was my neurologist at Methodist and I would constantly, constantly email him with questions about whether or not I was dying. Like, hey, my pinky twitched today. Do I have ALS? Like, that's what it was. And it never occurred to me. Like, I did have like sort of gait issues. Like, I would find myself kind of like wobbling when I walked. Right.

And I thought it was because, oh, I had encephalitis, which is a brain, like a swelling of the brain or some fluid on the brain or whatever it was, a spinal fluid. And I assumed I had this because the encephalitis had led to either ALS or Parkinson's or whatever. And that's why I'm walking this way. It never occurred to me that when I was 10 years old and I broke my ankle on the growth plate, that my right foot is slightly smaller than the left foot. And that like my, I think that my, because of that, my leg is slightly longer than the other one because of this ankle break I had. So of course I walk in it with a weird gate. Like you can't really tell it unless you're looking. Or even if you're looking, you probably can't tell, right? But in my mind, I'm like, I'm wobbling. I'm a little off balance. My gait's fucked up. And WebMD just told me that

I probably have multiple sclerosis. I think I need to come in and get an MRI, doc. Can we do an MRI? Can you put me in the machine? Can we find out? can I get a cat scan? Can I get a CT to make sure that I don't have ALS? Can we do that? What tests do I need to do to confirm that doc? Can you help a brother out please? And thank you. But those are the things that freak me the fuck out, man. Like the idea that you just get ALS and it's this fucking disease that just ravages your fucking body. And you go from being like, uh, um, you know, a guy, uh, that's being like, you know, a guy that's like a famous person that's an athlete like Steve Mongo, McMichael or Steve Gleason, like Steve Gleason goes from blocking the punt on the return to the dome to being in a wheelchair, cannot move his fucking body.

Steve, Steve Mongo, McMichael, great player for the Chicago Bears, a wrestler in the WCW, fucking man's man in a fucking hospital bed can't do anything. That freaks me out, and that's fucked up, man. It freaks me the fuck out. Same with like, you know, like, and what's even weirder is, and not even weirder, but like, I've watched documentaries about Richard Pryor because I think Richard Pryor's a god, right? And like Richard Pryor ended up with multiple sclerosis.

And there's a scene he's filming in the movie. Oh, what the fuck is the movie that he did with Eddie Murphy? Harlem Nights. So he's in Harlem Nights and he's filming scenes in the movie where he's holding a Bic lighter. And they're like, you know, there were no Bic lighters. The superior piece, Richard, there are no Bic lighters. He was holding it because of his multiple sclerosis. It would kind of hide the fact that like his hand would ball up or some shit.

So then like now, if I ever looked down at my hands, kind of like not flat and it's kind of curled up, I'm like, fuck, I got multiple sclerosis. So I'm fucked up. But all that to tell you this. So, and I'm sure many of you are like that. You're probably listening to this like this guy's fucked up no you all deal with the same shit we all have the same anxieties and this stupid fucking internet has given us all these anxieties like so we can make fun of it or we can all embrace that because of the internet because of WebMD and because of all the access we have to everything we all think we're fucking dying if you disagree with me you're a fucking liar liar. But USA Today, they get the fucking piece of shit of the year award here. Let's see here.

Let's take a look at what USA Today posted. So USA Today, who we ripped on the other day, now gets another one because their top headlines on their front page of USA Today, a major American publication. This is their website. Stories like, this Navy SEAL was sick of cliche combat movies, so he made one of his own. That's clickbait, but it's not about somebody dying so I can live with it. Whatever. Jamie King speaks out for first time after losing custody of her kids. Okay, that's a name. You put the person's name in there. So if somebody wants to know about Jamie King and her kids they'll click on that Menendez brothers resentencing bid challenged by DA and court hearings well you know who the Menendez

brothers are so you'll want to click on that because it's the Menendez brothers Adam Levine reveals Paul McCartney Beatles joke gone wrong. Okay, fine. No problem there. This headline. This Grey's Anatomy star is battling ALS. What to know about the disease? You couldn't put that Eric Dane, Dr. McSteamy of Grey's Anatomy has ALS. You had to make it a tease. You had to make it click bait. You had to make it clickbait?

You had to make sure that your audience had to click on it because of course all these horndog women see Grey's Anatomy and they're like, well, I gotta find out who it is. Oh my god, is it? Which one is it? Is it Meredith Grey? Is it the fucking doctor that played the chief of medicine? Is it the black doctor lady? Is it the Hispanic doctor

lady? Who is it? Who has it? Is it McDreamy lady? Is it the Hispanic doctor lady? Who is it? Who has it? Is it McDreamy? Who has it? So, of course, you have to click on it to find out. So then you click on it and you find out that it's Eric Dane, Dr. McSteamy. He has ALS. I did not know he's married to Rebecca Gayheart.

Had no clue. She was in a little film that I enjoyed called urban legend 1998 but uh this gray's anatomy star is battling als what to know about disease also i don't know what the fuck you have to click on to find out like anybody with a with eyes or the internet knows what fucking als is it's fucking terrible ravages your fucking muscles and you're fucked it's essentially a death sentence although like people not everybody's died from it like steve gleason is still alive his quality of life is not fantastic i refuse to watch the steve gleason documentary and i almost feel like an asshole for it but it i like and i'm sure it's uplifting in some regard but like it freaks me out to watch

somebody like their life erode in that way like it freaks me out or I won't watch the Val Kilmer documentary about how he had like I guess he had throat was his throat cancer whatever it was he had and then couldn't speak and I'm like I don't want to do that like I don't want to watch this this feels depressing and sad I don't feel like being depressing and sad and then I'll make it about myself which makes me an asshole see that's the problem and everybody's like this you watch a movie about somebody that's sick or something and then you internalize it and turn it into something like where shit do i have this and then you're not even thinking about how sad it is that this person this once vibrant

character this athlete has als and is refined to a wheelchair and can only move their fucking eyes and that's it and you know you go from watching them make hikes and everything else and then you see them in this wheelchair you no longer even think about them you're like well shit what if I end up with ALS then you're a real shithead but anyway all right more to come