The Josh Innes Show - My Dad Has Embarrassed Me

Episode Date: January 30, 2025

My never ending battle with gout continues. I'm basically an 80 year old trapped in a 38 year olds body. I got a nice email from listener Cypress Jeff. Remember, you can shoot me emails any time. I enjoy reading them. Feedback is good. My dad told me he was going to try to help me get back on the air...what he did was so incredibly embarrassing. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Hello, jamokes! What's going on? How are you? It is Thursday, about 10.38. Ready to do some podding for you. My foot is acting up on me again, so I have to go pick up a new prescription because evidently I have such a super powerful form of gout in my foot that even a steroid can't cure it. Not even a steroid can stop this DEFCON 1000 level of pain-inducing gout that I have in my big toe. So I finished up my steroid yesterday. I think it was yesterday.

And I'm like, all right, maybe I'll get back to being able to walk. As it turns out, nope, somehow my gout has gotten worse. And then I called the doctor lady again today, and I'm like, hey, can you give me like a shot? Can you give me something? They're like, nope, we can't do steroids for you again. So we're going to give you more of the medication that you already have and you got to take it. And did you get the list of foods that you shouldn't eat on gout? Yes, lady, I've got the list of foods I shouldn't eat if I have gout. I've known about this for a decade. For those of you who don't know, the foods that you shouldn't eat when you have gout is quite literally all the best foods. All the best foods in the world are foods that you should not eat with gout.

And that would include foods such as, you know, seafoods, sody pops, red meat, oh, red meat's a killer. So all the most delicious shit. They're like, basically, you can have chicken and fruit. If you don't want your gout to flare up, have chicken and fruit and Greek yogurt. If you do that, you will never have gout. And I'll tell you, though, sometimes this gout gets so bad

that I'm willing to make that trade-off. I'm like, you know what? Fuck it. I am not going to eat these foods anymore if it means that this gout will stop. So that's where I am right now. I've got a heating pad wrapped around my foot. I don't even know if that actually helps or not. I probably need to put some ice on it.

But I was hoping they'd say, come on in and we'll give you some sort of miracle shot, which, by the way, if you've never gotten a shot in your toe, it is the worst pain. And I've had like spinal taps like multiple times. I've had a needle shoved into my spine. Like I've had to do all sorts of shit. Basically, what you'll learn about me, or you may have already learned about me if you've been listening for any period of time, is that I'm a calamity. And I've had many different ailments and issues befall me. And I have had like the spinal taps. I've had broken

ankles. I've had broken wrists. I've had the gout. And whenever I was in Nashville, the lady at the foot doctor was like, listen, how about I just give you a shot in your toe to make it feel better? I'm like, please do my lady. And she did. And it eventually did feel better. But that initial prick of the needle needle doesn't hurt anywhere else you put it on your arm you put it on your leg you put it in wherever it does not hurt you put a needle in your toe and it is the end of the world it hurts so bad because there's just nothing there it's basically just the bone like here's your big toe here's the bone best of luck to you bite something and let's go. So that's what my day

has started out. Started really hitting me again last night. I've been drinking a lot of booze, haven't been eating. I guess I did have a tri-tip last night. Maybe that set it off. But that's bullshit. I understand that life isn't fair, right? We all have our issues. Everybody's got problems. Life is not fair. There are people born with deform not fair there are people born with deformities there are people born with you know you have diabetes not like the fat guy diabetes like i have that can be controlled by manjaro and eating better some people are like uh are like brett michaels of poison who just have like diabetes since they were a kid and it can really fuck you up you're born with it there's nothing you can do for it it's just how you were born there are people that are born with like spina bifida.

There are people that are just bound to wheelchairs for their entire lives, nothing they did. It's just one of those things where life isn't fair. Go watch the Shriners commercials that air 10 times a day when you're watching. No matter what you're watching, it does not matter what program you're watching on any channel. If you are watching television during the day, you will see depressing commercials, whether it's about the Shriners, like, hey, there's some kid with half an arm in a wheelchair, but there's a nice man with a fez on, so, hey, everything's going to be okay, Shriners. And then there's St. Jude's.

Then there's the poor kids with the cleft palates. Like, every commercial, the dogs, every commercial that airs during daytime television is a depressing commercial. Either that or someone trying to sell you really janky insurance through a cartoon character and Shaq, like the general. Like if you flip on television right now,

it is inevitable that no matter what channel you turn to, you will find either a sad depressing kids in wheelchairs commercial or shack and a cartoon general trying to sell you auto insurance that's just what daytime television is especially on like the non-networks so if you're watching you know like hey cmt rosanne is on let's put on cmt reba's on like what the fuck commercials do you think are airing during reba or for like old people you will get old people commercials as well so you'll start getting the um you know like the people like hey trade your cash for your gold for cash type of shit or like hey here's like

copper fit socks for compression and blood flow and your feet. I probably shouldn't make fun of that because admittedly, I was on the hunt yesterday for some sort of metatarsal pad for my foot. So, you know, maybe I just need to accept that I'm getting old. I'm the oldest 38-year-old ever. I don't know. Look, I have to accept it.

I'm 38. I've had like 10 different jobs. Maybe I'm just an old fucking dude and I'm older like body wise I'm older than my age I'm just breaking down you would have thought I played like 15 years in the trenches in the NFL the way I limp around all the time and make noises I make noises my body parts make noises I'm at that point where I stand up and I go every time I get up now let me play a couple commercials and I'll keep bitching I got a bunch of stuff to get into today by the way I appreciate

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like really anytime I get up, I make that noise, like kind of the, like just any kind of noise. It could be a grunt. And like sometimes it's not even a noise. Sometimes it's like a sound of pain that I don't even realize I'm making because I make it all the time. Like I'm in distress. So like distress may not be the right word but I'll stand

up you know and I'll just go like or I'll just say ow and not even know why I'm saying ow it's now just a reflex it's not like something totally hurts it's that everything hurts. So when I stand up, I'm just predisposed to going, ow. Jilly's like, what? Like you sound terrible. Like you get up all the time and you just make these noises and you grunt and you groan and you always look miserable. Like Jilly, I've spent a month trying to get my foot to feel better and it won't. Then you mix in the fact, and I know you guys have heard this already, we're buried in the snow. Now, the good news is the snow has started to melt and today it is raining. So a lot of this snow is going to finally go away. It's a miracle. Yesterday it was damn near 60 degrees. So a lot of the snow has melted. God, thank you. God is good. Every praise is to our God, brothers and sisters,

because finally we're starting to lose some of this shitty, terrible, snowy weather. It's all I can hope for. God, but that's where we are right now. So I'm sitting here with my foot wrapped in a heating pad. Ross is off at daycare to get more training. He's been doing great. Thanks for those of you who are interested. Thanks to all of you who've been sending emails as well with feedback on the show. I really appreciate it. Let's see here. I did get an email from a nice gentleman here. Let me see. This is from Jeff. Hello, Jeff Wilson. I'll say your name. I mean, I assume if you sent me an email, you're fine with me saying your name. What's up, Josh? I'm just at work enjoying listening to the pod. Damn, I remember that D-bag Nick Wright from way back when, and I think that

dipshit used to do a national show on the weekends that was just god-awful too. He may have. I know that, like, I'll say this. When the CBS Sports Radio Network started, I had a weekend show on there on Sunday nights with me and Ted Johnson. Then I stopped doing it, and I want to say either, I think Nick took it over after I left maybe, and then Sean did it. I don't know who does it. Maybe someone from Houston still does it. I have no clue. Maybe Sean does do it.

Anyway, I'm looking forward to the live shows like back in the Twitch COVID days. I was just wondering something. You had a pretty badass setup back then with a soundboard. It looked like a nice camera and lighting and all the stuff needed to do live shows then. Just wondering, did you sell all that stuff? Actually, a lot of it, like when we left Houston, like Houston was when we were doing a lot of that initially. And we were trying to get the fuck out of the house because I had a job. And I think you guys know how moving works, especially if you've been in a place for an extended period of time. At first, it starts out like, cool, we're going to pack

everything up and it's gonna be real nice and it's gonna look real like put together and compact but then by the time you're getting to like days into it you're just fucking sick of doing it you just start throwing shit away and you're like listen we'll just buy a new one i'm sick of this shit so you're like well what if we need that air fryer fuck the air fryer we're gonna buy a brand new air fryer. We got a job. We're going to be rich. So what we started doing is I just started throwing shit out. And our buddy PK was at the house with us like right before we moved. And I'm like, dude, listen, I've got, and now by the way, PK doesn't need my shit. Cause PK is a very smart video guy. Like he's

fucking genius with it and he doesn't need my shit. But I had a bunch of like ring lights. I had a bunch of, um, like foam for the walls. I had different shit. And I was like, listen, uh, audio shit, just take whatever the fuck you want and I'll buy something new. I don't feel like packing all this shit up. So yes, I gave away a lot of that. I didn't sell a bunch. I think I sold a couple of things that I made a couple of bucks on. Uh, but for the most part, I gave away a lot of that. I didn't sell a bunch. I think I sold a couple of things that I made a couple of bucks on. But for the most part, I sold those. Then when we left Nashville, I brought a lot of the stuff with us from Nashville, got rid of some of it. Like I don't have lights anymore.

I have a decent amount of shit just in storage because I've just never felt compelled to set it all up again. But at some point I'm going to here. Just looked like you used to have some decent equipment to use for live pods i need to add a couple of things jeff uh but uh yeah i think you guys used to auction shit off too before moving so maybe i missed that one and you sold all the stuff oh we sold some shit now we sold some shit the night that we were at dad's house and made like, like sold like $3,000 worth of shit.

Like dad's just in there signing shit for people. What a time you guys rule, by the way, if any of you were just listening and never saw the live shows, we did some fucked up shit on the live shows, man. Like we were, we went ham on the live shows, got hammered, sang karaoke, got kicked off, FaceTimed a bunch of people. Like, if you're new to this and you didn't experience it during COVID, or experience it when we were in Nashville, which was partially COVID, not totally COVID, but coming out of COVID,

shit got wild with the people on this podcast. Anyway, just wanted to drop a note to say thanks for the entertainment, especially while at boring-ass work. Take care. Longtime listener, Cypress Jeff. Hello, Cypress Jeff. Appreciate you, brother. Of course I remember you, man.

You were part of the crew. So thank you very much, Cypress Jeff. That's awful nice of you. People have been sending emails. People have been reaching out. People have been shooting me messages. Please do slide into the DMs. Send me an email, Josh in a show at

gmail.com. Let me know what you think. Let me know what you want more of. I keep getting messages from people bitching that there's not enough jelly. I'm like, well, jelly is doing her job at the time I'm doing this, but I will make sure to get more jelly involved. Speaking of the job hunt, I would put this under the most embarrassing shit that's happened. And I don't know if any of you follow my dad on Facebook. I'm sure many of you do. I don't have Facebook. You know the story.

When did I delete Facebook, the Facebook page? One of them was during the World Series when the Astros played the Phillies, I think. And I think I was just tired of that shit. Looking back on it, I'm like, shit, you had like 10,000 people on there. Those are people that could have listened to this fucking pod, but you just deleted it, and it's never coming back, dumbass. Because I can't control myself. Now I think I could because I can control myself on Twitter. I'm not as much of a nutcase as I was three or four years ago. But then I really deleted shit when I had to deal with these people here in St. Louis.

If you think McDougals and Houston people are bad on Facebook, imagine when you're on a radio station whose only listeners are 75 and all they know how to do is bitch on Facebook. Trust me, it is not a great experience to be bitched at and yelled at and criticized by 80-year-old people who are miserable and will stop at nothing to keep things the way they like them. And they will say the most vile shit about you. And I'm like, you know what? I don't need this shit from you octogenarians on Facebook anyway, up your nose with a rubber hose. And I just got rid of all my fucking Facebook shit. So I got rid of like 15,000 people potentially there. And a lot of those people came from when I started the live from Josh's couch after I got fired in

Philly that was a mistake if I would have treated that more seriously and just started doing a legit podcast and granted that was 2016 that's almost 10 years ago knowing what we know about podcasts now and how easy it is to churn out a podcast now if I would have known all that whenever all those ears were on me after I got fired in Philly fuck I would have known all that whenever all those ears were on me after I got fired in Philly, fuck, I would have taken advantage of that, launched a podcast with audio and video, and who knows what it could have been. That was nine years ago when I got fired, almost nine years ago. So if I would have done that, I mean, you saw the number of people that were watching the fucking live from Josh's couch. But in typical me fashion, I got bored with it, just started doing

dumb shit. And before you know it, nobody was watching the shit anymore but um I still had like seven eight thousand people on that fan page just to follow me and see what I was gonna say now maybe they wouldn't have stayed around maybe they would have said this is fucking terrible the content blows this guy sucks anyway but if I would have I that is a great mistake and had that been the case now like let's say when I got fired here in St. Louis, there was a big controversy surrounding it and people wanted my opinion on it. And I had 10,000 people flood a Facebook page and follow me to hear my thoughts on it. I would exploit that now or not even exploit, exploit has a negative connotation, but I would have taken

advantage of that. I would have seized that opportunity to say, all right, I'm doing a podcast, give it a listen, see what you guys got. But that's when you look back on shit and you go, hey, I fucked up. That's a mistake I made. As far as podcasting goes to me, that was the biggest mistake that I didn't cash in on. That should have been the one where I was like, okay. Like when I got fired in Houston, it was kind of a weird spot because I had six months and I knew if I got on a podcast, I would say bad shit about the place I was working and then they might take the severance away.

They might say, oh, you broke your severance agreement. Fuck you. So I was always worried about that. But I probably could have done something and kept it on the straight and narrow and capitalized on that as well, but I didn't. So you look back on certain things and you say, Josh, that was fucking dumb. What were you

thinking? That was one of those things, you know, sometimes you fuck up, but back to the part about something being embarrassing. So I don't have Facebook, so I don't see what my dad posts, but my dad's like, Josh, I'm going to reach out to some of my radio buddies and, uh, and, and just see if they got anything. You know, I know a lot of guys in radio. Now, to be very clear, my dad is not nearly the power player he thinks he is or that the world seems to think he is. Because everybody thinks I get my jobs because of my dad. When in reality, most of the places I get jobs, I don't even know who the fuck my dad is.

Don't care. But my dad in his mind is like a big-time radio guy. When in reality, the big-time radio people he knows are just his buddies that work at these small radio stations. Nothing wrong with that. I'm not judging them. But like dad's not like a power broker that's dealing with the head of like CBS radio or something like that. Like he's a small fish. He's like I'm going to reach out to some of my buds.

Can you send me like a little sheet that shows me like your resume and shit like that and i'm like all right sure so i screenshotted my my resume thing and i sent it to him i'm like cool he'll message it to a few people as it turns out my dad did not message this to a few people oh no my dad made a facebook post with sad looking pictures of me and with the fucking with the goddamn uh demo and resume like hey my son josh is out of a job and he needs something my radio buddies want to get in send me a message i'm like fuck my life as if i don't already look like a fucking sad sack out of work for six months got the gout sitting in my underwear, yelling at clouds on a fucking podcast. Now I got my dad posting my fucking resume on his Facebook. And to make it even worse, not only did I look like a sad sack, not only did I look pathetic, not only is it, holy shit, this poor bastard can't get a job, woe is me, chicken soup for the shitty radio guy's

soul. Oh no. Not only did that happen, not one fucking person commented on the post I said Jilly if he's gonna post this can you look at it and tell me if someone has commented not one fucking person not one radio guy's like man he's so good he'll find something like they don't even do that for me anymore it used to be man he's good now nothing now I have no idea what was sent to my dad behind the scenes, but I'm going to go out on a limb and say nothing because if anybody would have messaged him, he would have told me. So that's my situation right now. That's how sad my shit's gotten is my dad who told me he was going to be like, hey, I'll float your stuff out to a few people and see what they think. It becomes a Facebook post just like the time my dad

posted a video of me in the hospital on Facebook. My dad loves the Facebook, loves the likes, but I think my dad's going to give up on me because apparently he didn't get that many likes either. And that's how dad operates. Once he does something that doesn't get likes, that's like something he scratches off and goes, nope, done-zo with this one, kiddos, nope.

So I'm going to say that there's a pretty good possibility that um that dad's never gonna post about me again which is good because it's embarrassing it's bad and that none of his buddies apparently had any you know help for me which fine whatever i'm not looking for a handout here but god damn you talk about embarrassing like you just look like such a sad sack guys worked in philly houston st louis had big jobs and now dad's posting fucking woe is me josh needs a job posting not one fucking person comments like 20 people liked it oh fuck dad anyway we'll get into some other stuff