The Josh Innes Show - My Favorite Dash Yet

Episode Date: March 4, 2025

Yesterday I was able to deliver my favorite Door Dash treat yet. USA Today has a front page sports story about freaking Pete Rose. Why? Somehow this leads me down the path of discussing idiots on Twitter who fight on behalf of athletes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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About to hit the road and do some dashing. Made $110 yesterday door dashing. By the average of it, it averaged out to be like 25 bucks an hour or something like that. I went out for about two and a half hours early in the day and about two hours in the evening. I did have an interesting delivery yesterday. Now, there aren't a ton of interesting deliveries. Most of them are just, you know, hey, I'm waiting here at Papa John's. I got to bring some shit to some guy's apartment. A lot of people in apartments like to get shit. But the one, the one, the last one of the day was the most interesting thing that happened to me yesterday. I'm sitting around, I'm waiting to see if anything else comes in.

And I'm like, all right, I'm probably just going to, you know, go home. It's about seven 15 ish. And I get the little ping on the phone, you know, and I'm trying to exit out of it, but I accidentally accepted it. I'm like, shit, so I'm committed to this now. And the order was to go to a gas station and pick up one 25-ounce Budweiser. Not Bud Light. Budweiser. One 25-ounce Budweiser.

So I pick up the 25-ounce Budweiser at a gas station that's relatively close to my house and then have to drive about 12 miles down the road to drop off a 25-ounce Budweiser to a gentleman in an apartment complex. Now, if you hear that somebody orders, a guy named Tom orders a 25-ounce Budweiser from a gas station on DoorDash, which, by the way, I made like $8 for. So I made $8 for this guy to get a beer at. Now, I don't know how much he would have had to have paid for it or how the money works out, but if you go to a gas station and buy a 25 25 ounce Budweiser, it don't cost that much. But I know that I made like $8 off of it. So I don't know how much it actually costs this guy to have a 25 ounce Budweiser delivered to his apartment complex, but he did. Now, if you hear the name Tom and you think of somebody ordering a 25-ounce Budweiser,

my mind automatically went to like kind of a frat bro type of guy, you know, like a college dude just partying, probably already hammered, doesn't want to drive. Shit, bro, what do we do? Let's order a Budweiser. Now, I also don't fully understand how they determine who picks up what. You know like why did this person order a Budweiser from a gas station

10 miles away. Honestly my first thought was that this was going to be some sort of ambush. That was my initial thought. It's already dark outside. I don't know who the fuck Tom is. I don't know if that's Tom's real name. I don't know who Tom is. So my first thought is this could be a situation where they order something cheap, you know, like a Budweiser.

It's not like a huge dinner or something. And then they're going to try to lure me in to their pad and then take my ass out. That was my initial thought. I thought that was like dead me fine. But anyway, I pick up the Budweiser at the kind of shady gas station which it's interesting that you can pick up beer with DoorDash you just have to you know card the person at their house and then scan their ID to make sure they're legit so you have to be a narc basically I learned so I get the beer drive the 10 miles however long it was to Tom's apartment it's dark and

apartments suck doing DoorDash at night. Apartments are the worst because they're hard to see the numbers. You don't know exactly where they are. It's a pain in the ass. You got to kind of wander around. I was wandering around in the city of St. Louis yesterday in the dark and like you can't see people's addresses. You're afraid you're going to get plugged. All these apartments smell like pot. Like everyone. There's not one apartment complex. Like I'm talking about the kind of apartments where like the houses kind of look like they were old frat houses, you know, um, not like, you know, your big sprawling complexes or anything like that. But when you

get into these kind of inner city apartments that, you know, they look like old dorm rooms, old, you know, frat houses, and they all have that same musty kind of shitty smell it's a musty pot smell you know so I had to deliver like people get shit delivered from miles and miles away by the time I'm gonna get there it's not gonna be good I don't understand why you order it it's not my fault I do my best to get there as fast as I can but you're ordering shit that's 10 miles away and there's traffic and everything else like some lady in an old folks home ordered chilies right uh yesterday and by the time I got there through traffic and everything it had taken like 25 minutes like do you really want 25 minute old queso I don't know if you do or not but you got it so anyway back to Tom so Tom

is at this apartment complex all right so i pull up and i'm looking for tom's place he's an apartment 214 or whatever the fuck he's in i'm like all right let me try to find it finally find it knock on the door i hate having to do the whole knock on the door and talk to people thing like i just i like the mode of being able to leave it and take a picture and be like have a nice day. Like somebody had me leave their lunch outside of a school building yesterday, you know, whatever. So I knock on the door and Tom answers. Now again, our first thought, our initial thought was Tom is going to be like college age dude. His bros are probably having a party. Now if they're bros, they probably would have ordered more than one 25-ounce beer.

Maybe that was the hint that maybe it wasn't a college kid, but it's an apartment complex. I'm thinking apartment complex, probably younger dude. Answer the door, Tom. Tom is a guy probably in his early 60s. I should have looked at the ID and looked more specifically, in his early 60s, gray hair, in a robe, kind of like a more affluent type of older dude, because I'm listening in the background and he's watching Anderson Cooper. So he's watching CNN. So unless he's hate watching CNN, he's probably some sort of liberal gentleman in his robe at this apartment complex. His dog is sitting on the couch and he ordered one 25 ounce Budweiser. That is one 25 ounce Budweiser did Tom order.

And I'm having a conversation trying to scan the back of his ID with my phone, which it's dark. It's kind of hard. I'm like, I'm sorry, Tom, whatever. Then I have to look at his ID and I'm like, I'm not going to fucking like you're, you're clearly of age to have this fucking beer, Tom, you're fucking 60. So I'm not going to

fucking card you. You feel like such a narc doing that, you know, like, Hey, can I see your ID, please? Like whatever. Like even when you go to the grocery store and self-checkout, they barely check your ID anymore. They look at you. They go, oh, motherfucker looks 21. Here, take it. That guy looks way too old to have been born in 2004. He's haggard. Here, take your shit. But there you go. So Tom got his beer.

I actually made it a point to shake his hand. I said, Tom, you're a man of my own heart. Door dashing a 25-ounce Budweiser. When you need it, you need it, pal. So that was Tom. All right, let's play some commercials, and we will continue. All right, if you're ready to win some real cash during the basketball playoffs, you've got to check out Pick 6 from DraftKings.

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One per new customer. Bonus award. It is non-withdrawable pick six credits that expire in 14 days. Limited time offer. See terms at picksix.draftkings.com slash promos. All right. So what do we got i just looked at the front page of the usa today sports section on uh on the usa today app why trump endorsement changes the equation on

pete rose future who fucking cares god damn make it stop anybody who would have given a shit if pete rose were in the hall of fame is already dead nobody gives a fuck like there are just other things going on in the world or maybe there aren't maybe that's the problem maybe nothing is going on in the world thus we still get stories about fucking pete rose and the dipshit goddamn president pardoning the guy like what are we doing oh god like is there nothing else can you not find something like get angry at the white folks for shitting on basketball or something is there nothing we can do is there not some women's basketball doesn't get equal treatment to men's basketball story you guys can write now we're writing more fucking stories about pete rose god damn it he's awful he's let's be fair

guy seems like a real cock bag of a human may he rest in power but like he seems like a real cock bag and a sleaze ball and a fuck face i just don't care if he's in the hall of fame or if he never got to experience let me tell you something my dad gets worked up over pete rose not being in the hall of fame that's how i know it doesn't matter when my dad is like you know pete rose isn't in the hall of fame and this is bogus i'm like okay 58 year old white guy is angry about it then it's probably not something that's that big of a deal but that's my dad my dad's like oh pete rose not in the hall of fame josh i'm like i don't give a shit 25 years ago i would have given a shit when i was a young lad actually when i was 18 pete rose

wrote a book about where you know admitting that he bet on baseball shocker and i was kind of in that camp of this is so sad this is just sad that they've treated this man so poorly and as i get older i'm just like i don't give a fuck like dale and and and you know like uh like dale uh what's his name like the fucking stepbrothers it's like the the dad and stepbrothers like hey can we can we turn our bunk beds our beds in a bunk bed so we can have more room for activities and he's like i don't give a fuck that is exactly if pete rose never gets into the fucking hall of fame i don't give a fuck i do not care now maybe you could say josh you're just not overly passionate about a lot of sports things anymore and maybe you'd be right as As I'm 38 years old, there's fewer and lesser and lesser things I care about. Maybe because that childlike wonderment of sport has kind of faded and you realize that guys aren't fucking gods.

You still kind of idolize the people like Michael Jordan, people you grew up watching and you admired, Ozzie Smith, guys like that. But guys that you watched when you were a kid, I don't give a shit about some current NBA star. I just really don't. Like sports is different to me now. It's not that I don't like sports. It's not that I don't watch sports. It's just that it doesn't mean the same thing to me as a 38 year old unemployed radio guy who's 25 minutes away from driving DoorDash. It doesn't mean the same. Like it's weird. I'll see social media and one of our great podcast listeners tells me to stop reading Twitter, but I like, I just scroll it and I go to the for you. You've heard me do the whole breakdown of the for you on Twitter for you on Twitter is the worst. It's poison. It's toxic. There's no need for it. It's no good, but it's interesting

that I'll start seeing people like like the big story last week was like the NBA and like LeBron saying that the media is too mean and they cover the NBA poorly and you wonder why the ratings are down, which, you know, like if LeBron truly thinks that Stephen A. Smith controls what the ratings are for the NBA, he's truly a delusional fuck boy. Like, what are you doing? You know that Stephen A. Smith talking shit about the NBA or some dips truly a delusional fuck boy. Like, what are you doing? You know that Stephen A. Smith talking shit about the NBA or some dipshits on inside the NBA or Shaq and Kenny and those guys

talking shit does not impact if people watch the game or not. Just again, go to hockey. The hockey guys speak glowingly of hockey all the time. You know who watches hockey? Nobody. Big picture. Nobody watches hockey. But what are we doing? Oh, it's the fault of the media that talk shitty about our game and thus they don't prop up our game, thus people don't watch. You think that that many millions of people are tuned out because Stephen A. Smith is talking shit about you or Chuck is talking shit about you? That is deflecting, sir sir you're part of the problem and really the leak look i'm a memphis grizzlies fan right almost like it is a rarity to see john morant who is their best player play back-to-back games very rare now you can say josh he's hurt is he he might be guy never plays

back-to-back games i think like for the first time in a couple years the guy played five games in a row like you keep fucking your fans people that spend thousands of dollars hundreds of dollars to make trips to games and they don't know if on a given night they're going to see their favorite player that maybe they got one opportunity to see so that's your biggest problem your biggest problem is that your game is kind of boring your biggest problem is your regular season doesn't matter your biggest problem is that your players admit that the regular season doesn't matter and that they don't try. Thus, they sit out a bunch of games due to load management. Those are big problems. Stephen A. Smith and a bunch of dickheads on the radio talking shit ain't changing anything. That's what I always found fascinating, right?

Like when I was working for radio stations that were flagship stations and the teams would get upset and I'd have to deal with it, like shit that I would say. And then the boss calls you in and they're like, listen, the Rockets, mostly the Rockets, the Rockets are not happy that you said blank. And I'm like, but why? Like, what does it matter to them? Do you think that there's some fan of the Rockets that was going to buy tickets to the game that was all of a sudden like, you know what? No, Josh Ennis on the radio said that the Rockets aren't any good. And Josh Ennis, whose highest level of basketball competition was high school, Josh Ennis knows what good NBA basketball is. Therefore, if Josh Ennis says it's bad,

then I'm not buying tickets. Do you think people are really doing that? That's the only reason you should be concerned about the shit I'm talking about you is how it affects your bottom line. Do you truly believe that people would stop going to games because the asshole on the radio says the team is no good? And by the way, the asshole on the radio is not telling you to not go to the games. The asshole on the radio is just saying, I don't think the team's any good. Do you think that's going to stop people from going? Like, it just feeds into the ego of these people. Like, the shit I would say on the radio would have nothing to do with whether or not people went to the games cared about the games watch them in fact me shitting on the team kind of galvanized their actual fans but like you go to when i was at

790 and anytime i'd say something about the rockets that was that was a personal attack no it wasn't but you guys bitched and you called my boss said it was a fucking personal attack i guess the time i called harden a douche i guess i could be considered i get that like that's not nice i think i mean i did think he's a douche although i've kind of warmed up to him in a weird way i think it's because he's just kind of faded out of sight out of mind that i don't mind him as much anymore but like when they would call and they would bitch about these things and i'd say who fucking cares like like cool like what are they gonna do they're gonna leave the station? Great. Leave the fucking station.

Nobody else wants you. You're the fucking Rockets. Nobody wants NBA games on the radio. You're lucky this station does. I spoke as a very powerful man who possessed very little power. But that's how I spoke at that time. Because, look, if I were actually making money for the radio station, then, hey, I could have swung my dick. But I swung my dick as if someone who was making money for the radio station, who was actually not making money for the radio station.

Like in Detroit, there's a radio station that was carrying Lions games. I think it was the Lions, maybe the Pistons. I forgot what it was. It might have been the Pistons. I'm not sure. One of these teams. And one of the big hosts on the station would shit on them constantly. And eventually they said, we're pulling the games off the fucking radio station if you don't fire this guy. And they were like, no, this guy makes us legit money and he's a big star and you know he's got a 20 share you're the fucking pistons skedaddle you know go fuck yourself that's power when a radio station will be like you know what we'll let the fucking team leave because we care more about our dude that makes us money that is is when you possess power. That is when you kick ass.

Not too many people have that power. Not too many people can swing their dick in such a manner, but it's impressive that that guy did. I'd like to get to that point in life. But anyway, how did I get down? That all started with Pete Rose, didn't it? Again, that's what this podcast is. Me talking for 15 minutes

and then not knowing how i got to where i got i don't know how you guys listen to this you're probably like this guy's a fuck it this guy's a lunatic this guy's a stone cold whack but all that said pete rose annoys me and the fact that pete rose is on the front page of the usa today sports on their uh website is preposterous to me i don't understand understand it. I don't know why anybody cares. I just, I think as we advance more in time, people care less about dudes who get into the hall of fame. Yeah. Actually, you know, I kind of knew where I was going to go about looking at Twitter and shit. So the other day I was commenting on like, I basically the the there was the story that was like one of these fake stories

or whatever about how jason tatum's like i want to be the face of the league and someone posted this and they're like why everybody got a hate on this dude some shit and i was like well the dude's just goofy well actually you know what it was it wasn't about the fake story about being the face of the league it was after they had gone up like 25-7 in the first quarter against the Cavaliers in a game they eventually would lose. They call a timeout, and there's a shot of him walking to the sideline saying, it's over, some shit like that. And everything that Jason Tatum does to try to create a moment for himself

feels forced and goofy because he's just kind of a goofier dude. Like when he yells, we did it after the championship. It just felt like he like thought about that for like five minutes and then yelled it. Like it just felt fake and contrived. So somebody says, you know, why am I hating on this dude? I'm like, well, because he's goofy. I don't know who commented or posted this, but it popped up on my for you. So I said, because this dude is goofy. I didn't mean he looked goofy. I just said he like, I just think he's a nerd. Like he's just got a goofy quality about him where people don't take him serious. Well, this pissed off all of

the fanboys for Jason Tatum. Now imagine you're a grown ass adult man and you're fighting, not just defending a dude on Twitter. Like I'll get that. Like if you want to fight for your dude and be like, no, this dude's actually great. Or here's whatever. That's part of being a sports fan, actor, fan, whatever, do whatever you want to do. But this person was very upset because I said he was goofy because they thought I said he looked goofy. So then they just started posting my picture back at me saying, oh, this is the kind of motherfucker saying our dude is goofy, huh? Man, fuck them dudes. And I'm like, well, I didn't say he was an ugly guy or he was a goofy looking guy. I said that he, and then actually I think I've learned a little bit. I didn't even try to engage. My first thought would have been to try to explain to the Neanderthals on social media

that I did not mean that this gentleman looked goofy, just that his whole thing felt contrived, which is what I was commenting on. And instead, they just kept calling me ugly and shit. And I'm like, okay, fine. But I can't imagine being that committed to somebody who gives no fucks about me as a human, that I'm just going to sit there and start fighting and calling people ugly and shit on social media over a team, over a player or anything. And maybe that's where my maturation as an adult has come in. And I feel like most adults feel this way. Like they'll defend their team. Like I get that and like, and whatever. But then there are some people who just defend their team with weird childlike, you know, veracity. Those are Philly people. Um, they're,

they're like, again, they have, they are always in the state of being a 10 year old boy. Like McDougal doesn't grow up. McDougal is Peter Pan. He just flutters about and shit. Does Peter Pan,

Peter Pan flies. Peter Van, he just flies about. Got a little Tinkerbell, Tinkerbell. It's his old lady, Tinkerbell that floats around with him. She wears a Brian Dawkins jersey as they float around

together. She has his Tinkerbell as that girl who's in the picture, that Philly chick taking a leak by someone's car and flipping off the camera. That's his Tinkerbell. And they float around together in Never Never Land. And that's fine. But that's not how I operate as a person anymore, I guess. I still like sports. You hear me on here. I get angry about sports, but it's just kind of like, I'm not to the point that I want to post pictures of someone and call them ugly because I don't like something they said about a player that I like, who will never. You just want to tell these people, guys, he's never going to fuck you. That's what you want to tell them, but then it's stupid

because they're dipshits and they don't understand. Like that's the hard part about arguing with stupid people is they're, they're so dumb that they don't understand the insults. That's why arguing with, with stupid people is a waste. But anyway, uh, all righty then more to come.