The Josh Innes Show - My Life Is Half Over Part 1

Episode Date: March 23, 2026

I have no clue how I got here, but for some reason I started looking at the life expectancy of American males. Well, my life is half over. Now, I'm really reflective lol... Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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An IG Private Wealth Advisor creates the clarity you need with plans that harmonize your business, your family, and your dreams. Get financial advice that puts you at the center. Find your advisor at IG Private Wealth.com. All right. So we talked about this a little bit. on the show today, and of course you can always check out that podcast if you'd like. That'd be awful nice.

But we were talking about how I went to the movies this weekend. I went to see Ready or Not, Here I Come, Ready or Not Too, Here I Come, I guess is what it was called. If you'll recall, and it's wild to even think this, but my favorite movie of 2019, which I think was 2019, which was seven years ago, by the way. which is bonkers, but my favorite movie of 2019 was ready or not? Was that 2019? That can't be right.

That had to be like 2020 or 2021, but 2020 would have been the Rona. Let me see. Like, that movie came out in 2019. That is bonkers. Like, I understand, like, you know, like time and how shit movies. I mean, I get that. Holy shit. That movie.

First of all, that means I've been doing this podcast for the most part, with some exceptions of times where I wasn't doing it, like a little bit, basically in St. Louis when I wasn't doing this podcast. But that means I've been doing this shit off and on for seven years, this podcast. That's number one, which is pretty wild in and of itself to think that that's been seven years. But like seven years is a large portion of life. What is the average lifespan for a male human now? and, you know, let me see, hold on. Let's see. First of all, let's play a couple commercials,

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Many promotions are available both in-store and online, though some may vary. All right, let's see here. In the U.S., men live on average just shy of 76 years. Okay. So 76 years. Seven. That's seven years ago. What percentage of 76 years is the number seven?

Let's see. Seven. Seven is what percent of 76? Let's see. 9%. That means 9% of my life, assuming I live to 76 years of age, that would mean that 9% of my life, to this point, and that's ever evolving, 9% of my life has already passed if I live to 76 years of age. And I mean, obviously more than 9% is passed. But 9% of my life has been spent doing this podcast. And 9% of my life has passed since the movie. Ready or Not came out, which I named my favorite movie of 2019. Figure that out. What a world.

And assuming we live to 76, I'm now 39. Let's see here. 39 is what percent of 76? I've already lived 51% of my life. My life is half fucking over. now I'm having a goddamn moment because my life in theory

because I don't think I'm gonna like I'm not gonna now maybe I'll be one of those people that lives in 90 despite the fact I drink all the time and eat like shit maybe I'll live to 90 I don't know and if I lived to 90 then half my life isn't over if I've lived to 80 half my life isn't technically over

if I live to the average age of a male in America I'll be 70 I've already lived half of my life and then you think about that 714, 20, 28, 35, like 17 or 18% of my life, or whatever that number would be, has been spent doing this podcast, and then that same percentage is the time it's been from the time this Ready or Not movie came out, and I said it was the best movie at 2019.

What I'm trying to tell you is life moves so slow, and then life moves super fucking fast. Like when you're 9, 10, 11, 12 years old, life doesn't move fast, it moves slow. then somehow, you know, you blink and you're 33 years old and everything's fine and where's your next move? You just got fired and used, whatever. Then you're fucking 40. You blink and you're 40. Again, I understand you all have your lives to live and I'm sure you're all, maybe you all experience this same befuddlement of this as I do. But holy shit.

Think about that. 76.5 is the average life expectancy for a man in America. I am 39. I'm dead, basically. What has happened? Where has time gone? And now I sit here and I'm like, what, like, I've, you know, we talk about this all the time, but I've missed opportunities, I've blown opportunities, and fuck shit up.

I move around from town to town up and down the goddamn dial. And now here I am 39 years of age and my life is already half over based on the average Lifespan being 76.5 years for a male in America? What the fuck? I don't know. I'm perplexed. I know I'm flummoxed by this. Like this is a wild thing to even think about. Like when you really put pen to paper and you think about it, your life is half over. Half over. And what do you have to show for it? You've done some cool shit. But what do you have to show for it? I think that that's the kind of stage I am in life right now. Like it's one of these things where it's like what, not even a what does it all mean type of deal. But I'm in a situation now where I'm like, you've done all this shit and you have literally nothing to show for it.

I think that's kind of where I am in life now. That's why I want to get somewhere, stay somewhere, get back to making some serious cash again and just ride and ride the fucking wind instead of town to town. Like, I mean, it's been easy to go from place to place because, you know, I've been in my 30s. Think about this. My 30s. So my birthday is August 11th. I will turn 40. I turned 30 in Philadelphia and got fired like two weeks later.

So I got fired, actually less than a week later, I think. So I got fired in Philadelphia. I just turned 10. That was in 2016. In the last 10 years, I moved from Philadelphia to Houston, Houston to Nashville, Nashville to St. Louis, St. Louis to Detroit. I have moved four times over the course of my 30s, four times. And if you go back to the point that I was 20, I guess I got the job in Houston when I was 23, I moved from back, okay.

So, 17 years of my life. All right, 17, 23, I moved from Baton Rouge to Houston, Houston to Philadelphia, Philadelphia to Philadelphia to Philadelphia to. Houston, Houston to Nashville, Nashville to St. Louis, St. Louis to Detroit. I have moved six times over 17 years. That means on average, I move less than every three years. And that average is just skewed because I stayed in Houston for like the two longest stints I had anywhere. We're like five years the second time in Houston and four years the first time. Fuck, man That's crazy when you think about it like that

And then think about my life Before I was 10 years old Like when you really again Talk about putting pen to paper here When you put pen to paper on this shit I'm 39 years old The number of times I have moved All right so 39

Let me see if I can do the math on this So when I was Let's see born in 1986. We moved from, I believe, Missouri to Iowa. That's one. I think we moved from Iowa back to Missouri. That's two.

Missouri to Memphis, three. Memphis to Mobile, Alabama, four. Mobile Alabama to Springfield, Missouri, five. Springfield, Missouri, and I think there's another move in there somewhere, but let's just say Springfield, Missouri to Montana. Okay, that is, no, sorry. Springfield, Missouri to Cookville, Tennessee. Cookville, Tennessee to Billings, Montana.

Billings, Montana to Baton Rouge, Louisiana. That was all over the span of 10 years. There's eight moves. And how many moves do we say? Now I've got to write this shit down. All right. So there were eight moves by the time I was 10 years. old. I understand

there are Army people that have dealt with this. It's the same shit. Army and shitty radio. It's the same shit. So what did I say that was eight times? Eight by the time I'm 10. Then I move from Bat Rouge to Houston. Houston to Philadelphia. Philadelphia to Houston. Houston

to Nashville. Nashville to St. Louis, St. Louis to Detroit. That is six. In my lifetime, over the course of 39 years, I have moved 14 times. And by the way, actually, it's one more that I skipped. I skipped one more because I moved from Baton Rouge to Arkansas for a year. So actually, that was nine moves by the time I was like 10.

And if you count another move from Missouri to, dude, so I have moved 15 times, 15 times in 39, almost 40 years. You want to round it up and say 40, fine. 15 times, 1530, almost every two and a half years of my life I've moved. I don't know why I got into this discussion and why I'm having this kind of like moment here. But holy shit. Part of it's because I'm going to die. Half my life is over.

And basically my life has been spent moving. And by the way, that's with living in, what makes it even more fucked up is that I lived in Baton Rouge for 13 years. So 13 of those years were in Baton Rouge and a combined nine. So 22 of those years were spent in two cities. That means 18 years out of my life was spent in 19 cities. Think about the absurdity of that. I'm actually, I'm literally writing all this shit down in here because I am blown away by this. Like, that's been my life.

So like there's a huge part of me that just wants to be somewhere and stay somewhere and be happy somewhere and have a job. job. But now, like, that would have been a lot easier to accomplish 15 years ago in radio. Like, I don't know if that's even possible to live somewhere and have a radio job for 15 years. I don't know. But over the course of 40 years in my life, I have moved 15 times. So, sorry, I did the math wrong on something. Hold on. No, that's right. And 22 of those years were spent between Houston and Baton Rouge. So 18 years of my life were spent sorry, I did the math wrong in 13 places. So 13 different cities I spent 18 years of my life.

Think about that math. Think about the absurdity of that. I did the math wrong a second ago. So that means 13 places I spent a combined 18 years. So what is the math on that? What is 13 divided by 18? That would be the average length of time I stayed somewhere in my. life other than the two cities I stayed the most, obviously.

13 divided by 18. 0.72. Does that sound right? So that means I move, basically what would 72% of a year be? 75% would be, so basically on average in those other cities, if the math is accurate on this, I lived on average now like nine months. And it actually works out when I think about it because, according to Dan, again, I was young in some of these. We lived in Memphis for about a year. We lived in Mobile for less than a year. We lived in Cookville, Tennessee for less than a year. We lived in Iowa for less than a year.

So it makes sense that it would work out that way. Holy shit. I lived in Arkansas for about a year when we moved because we moved to Baton Rouge. Parents got divorced, moved back to Missouri. Technically, I lived in two places. There were two moves because we lived in Missouri for a little bit. Then mom got. married and we moved to Arkansas. But still, think about that. On average, my life in the places I've lived on average outside of, you know, Baton Rouge, which again, that's home, and Texas, which is home, outside of those two places, I have lived on average about nine months in these places. Which again, makes sense because dad, I mean, we moved a lot when I was a young kid. I don't even remember a lot of them to tell you the truth. I have very little recollection of anywhere up until, I guess, like, 1991, 92. Either way, I understand this is a totally random thought, but it just, you start to like think about life.