The Josh Innes Show - My NBA Picks Sucked (My Bad)

Episode Date: May 8, 2025

I whiffed big time on my NBA plays last night. Screw the Celtics. Screw the Knicks. Hell, screw em all. That said, I did say that the Thunder would do some scoring. I can't think of a sports team I like less than the Knicks. Also, while I've really been enjoying the NBA, I sports hate so many of the players. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

So last night's basketball was not as good as I told you it would be and I apologize for that. Like I got messages from people, Hey I played that Celtics thing and I followed you on that and I got my ass kicked. Yeah you did and yeah I'm sorry. I got my ass kicked too. Because when I tell you to play something I play it too. I'm not some jmoke that's going to tell you something to play and I'm not going to do it. If I say it on the podcast it's something that I'm'm gonna do and the fucking Celtics are stooges. They have lost back-to-back

games in which they've had 20 point leads. Like it is impossible for me to root for either the Knicks or the Celtics. I hate them both very much. I hate Jason Tatum. I hate the look of Jason Tatum. I hate the look of the white dudes that play for the Celtics, particularly Peyton Pritchard who's just frightening looking. I mean, like he looks like American History X. I don't like him. I hate the Knicks with a passion because I hate all of the media people that sit around and tell you how great the Knicks are, even though the Knicks have not won a title in like 50-something years.

Yet everybody talks about the Knicks like the Knicks are God's gift to fucking basketball when they don't win shit. I hate both of these teams, but I thought that maybe, just maybe, the Knicks after coming back from a 20-point deficit and winning, and the Celtics, who were embarrassed on their home court and shot 60 fucking three-pointers and only made 15 of them, blew a 20-point lead, couldn't score more than five points in overtime against them, got

embarrassed on the last play of the game and couldn't even get a shot off thanks to defense from Miles Bridges. I thought, stupid me, that the Celtics would come back and have some fucking balls about them. And again, they took a 20-point lead and then they squandered it. And I didn't even watch the game because I was out getting dinner and then, you know, we're walking Ross and he goes for this long ass walk. So we're like, all right, I'm looking at my phone at the time. The score was, I think, 70 to 20 or sorry, 70 to 50.

It was a 20-point game. And I'm like, oh, there are four minutes to go in the half. In the third quarter, I knew that the over wasn't going to hit for the Celtics so I was already pissed but I'm like the Celtics are going to win, they're going to cover. I said they'd probably dominate today, they're up 20, cool. As we're walking I keep checking my phone and it gets to a point that I think it's 73 to 50. I'm like alright 73 to 53, it's a 20 point game, fine. It goes into the fourth quarter, it's still like a 13, 14 point game, fine, okay. As the quarter goes on, I look and it's like a 10 point game and I'm like, all right, still nothing to see here.

I go back to my phone, it's like a 6 point game, 8 point game, whatever. Then with like two minutes to go, the Celtics are up like three. Then I scroll back again, now they're down one and I get home in time to watch the end of the game where they lose. And by that point I was glad they fucking lost because the last thing I want to see is these shit heads who cost me a play and didn't score any damn points. I needed them to score 111 points. What do they do? They go out and score 88 or whatever it was, 90, whatever it was they scored. Screw the Celtics. I dislike them very much. I dislike the Knicks very much. I dislike Carl Anthony Towns. I dislike. I was trying to list.

I was talking to Meltzer yesterday and it's funny because I don't dislike the NBA at all. Like I've enjoyed watching the playoffs. I really thought that Denver game was going to be far better than a 45 fucking point beat down, but I did tell you it. Well, we'll get into that, but I was talking the first one. Let me play some commercials, right? Let me play these commercials. Get it out of the way so I can get you a nice long segment in here about my disdain for the Celtics, about my disdain for that second game last

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Visa provides scale expertise and innovative payment solutions. Learn more at visa.ca slash fintech. All right, so first off Celtics, you're a disgrace and I hope you get swept. Then I hope the next series is, oh, you'll be sweet. Actually is for the Knicks to play Indiana again and for Indiana to beat them to go to the NBA Finals. And I don't like Indiana. That's the interesting thing.

Like I am enjoying watching the NBA finals and I don't like Indiana. That's the interesting thing like I am enjoying watching the NBA and I'm digging the games, but I can't think of a handful of guys that I like right like I like the games. I don't necessarily like a lot of the players and it's not because of any political things. I just don't like the look of a lot of guys like for instance, I don't like the look of Alex Caruso. He have Texas A&M, he who plays for Oklahoma City. He's finally decided to shave his head,

which the problem I have is there's gotta be a way for you to shave your head and not have stubble. He has a skullet stubble and he looks stupid in his headband and he's an unappealing Ogre Hill person. Like Alex Caruso looks like the guy that pumps your gas at the scary gas station. Like you're on a cross-country trip with you and your college buddies and you're in like the middle of central west Texas, you know,

and like you stop at the one gas station that there is for a billion miles on your way to like El Paso or whatever the hell's going on and like the guy comes out and he's the gas station attendant that you know like you think is the bad guy but is really trying to send you a positive fucking message that someone's in the fucking back seat. That's what Alex Caruso looks like. I fucking hate him and then I hate him even more because the guy can hoop. The guy's a dude is a stud defensively and I hate him. So I hate the look. Like I can list. It's a short. Let me start this

way. It is shorter for me to list the players that I do like. Let me list a couple of NBA players that are currently in the playoffs that I do like. Anthony Edwards who I enjoy very much. Dude's old school shoot like 30 times in a game. Got a fun attitude. Just a fun loving guy. I watched the basketball show on Netflix. I really like him, okay? Mike Conley Jr., old school Memphis Grizzly, got to have his number retired by the Grizzlies when he retires, just an old school basketball player that I like.

The Joker. Some would say that back in my day I was like a precursor to the Joker except I wasn't good at anything. I also like Christian Brown of the of the Nuggets mostly because he's just a dude that like like you don't think you'd be any good you look at him and go some white dude his name is Brown but it's spelled Braun. Dude can jump out of the gym surprisingly. Guy's great for getting rebounds and assists can hit some threes. I'm a big fan of his. I also like Nikhil Alexander Walker randomly.

I don't even know why of the Minnesota Timberwolves. So I like a lot of dudes that play for the Minnesota Timberwolves and the Nuggets outside of that. And I like I'm fine with Brunson and I like and I actually like Russ Westbrook. I admire Russ Westbrook because the dude plays his dick off. The problem is like it's amazing. It's like the guy's too fast for his own good. Like if he has an open layup, you're like homeboy

is about to miss his layup ain't he? And of course he's going to miss the layup. But he's an energetic dude. There's a lot of stuff I dislike about him. But he's an energetic dude. Like last night that game felt like the kind of game he was going to accuse a fan of being racist. Like they're getting their asses kicked. He was already kind of chirping at a fan. At best, he was going to have someone ejected. Like when I'm watching that last night, I'm thinking somebody from Oklahoma City and their fan base about to get ejected thanks to Russ Westbrook. Or at worst, he's going to say that someone had called him a racist name or something. But

I really enjoy his game just because the dude is non-stop energy. Like I like Russ Westbrook. He plays hard. Like that's the kind of guy. Like if you sit around and bitch the dudes are lazy, Russ Westbrook ain't lazy. Dude goes out there and balls. Look, he misses a lot of shots. He does a lot of dumb shit. He's going to turn the ball over. Teams want him to shoot. Like the scouting reports are, let Rush shoot. Like they don't think he's going to beat you shooting the ball, but he's high energy, defensive dude, gets rebounds, gets assists. So I like watching him play. But then I go down the list of the guys I hate and

it's like just like a who's who. I hate Shea Gilder's Alexander. He looks like a 90s R&B dude. And I think I hate him because of that commercial with him and Chet Holmgren, who I also hate. We're in that commercial last year during the playoffs that aired nonstop, so I hate both of them. I really hate The Thunder. Like I struggle to find somebody that plays for The Thunder that I like. Like Isaiah Hartenstein looks like some sort of like knockoff J.J. Watt. I don't like him. I'm you know, I kind of like Dort because Dort will lock your ass up on the perimeter spot up hit a three.

I like Dort Dort might be the guy from that team I like, but I despise them. Their coach looks like a fucking doofus. I hate them, but I told you yesterday that they would go out and play a better brand of basketball that would be super watchable and look it wasn't a close game like I said it would be but Oklahoma City went out and balled and the type of basketball they played is fun to watch at juxtapose that to the Celtics a couple nights

ago where they stand around and shoot a bunch of threes and miss a bunch of threes Oklahoma City was hooping they got guys that can penetrate and dish they got guys that can take it to the hoop they got guys that can knock it down from 15 and in Oklahoma City's gotoping. They got guys that can penetrate and dish. They got guys that can take it to the hoop. They got guys that can knock it down from 15 and in. Oklahoma City's got hoopers, man, and they scored 149. Fun fact, I want to say that on one of the betting sites, if you were to take any team to score 150 last night, it was like plus a thousand, something like that, or any team to win. Now you want some drama, any team to win by 50 was plus like 5000 or something like that. Like it's

one of those type of deals. I'd have to look just to be sure. So I think they won by 43 and they scored 149. So they came damn close. But that was what I was telling you yesterday. When they're playing ball well offensively. It's not just like this like it is a fun style. It's not just we sit around and we happen to make 53 pointers today. So we scored 150. They get out in transition. They get out and run. They create offense via defense. They're fun to watch when

they're cooking. So I think that series is still going to be good. It goes back to Denver now at 1-1. Denver stole a game there. That's good. So we'll see what happens there. Celtics are a clown show at this point. I hate the Knicks. I hate the Celtics. What game do we have tonight? Let's see. We have the Warriors and Timberwolves. Timberwolves are a 10 and a half point favorite at home. No Steph Curry. In theory, you'd go maybe this is the game that you ride with the Warriors because the whole world's counting them out because Steph isn't there. Let's also not forget they do have Jimmy Butler. Jimmy Butler is a high level NBA player. If

they would have lost Steph Curry before Jimmy Butler got there, they'd probably be like a 30 point underdog, right? And you got the Timberwolves coming off a bad game, the Timberwolves are going to win. Let me see what the Timberwolves point total is. The over in this game is only 201.5. So that would mean then that their point total's got to be over 100, right? Let's see. There's just 106.5, 95.5 for the Warriors. They're going to have to hit a lot of buckets, man. They're going to have to hit a lot of threes to stay in that game so and then Friday you get the Cavaliers and Pacers and Thunder and Nuggets, so

Yeah, like dude, I'm telling you I'm not trying to sell you on it And you probably now laughing at me going Josh you're a dipshit what we're like What were you thinking saying that that would be a good game? I tried to watch it cuz you said to watch it. It wasn't good The way they executed offensively was solid, man. Like that, like it was fun to watch. It was a blowout, but the game was fun and they were at home. So the crowds into Oklahoma City crowds are always great.

They're kind of dopey, but they're into it and it's fun. But overall, though, that one sucked last night. So it was a dud. The first game was close. Hey, give Miles Bridges made another play. Jason Tatum is interesting because he's such a goober and I lost respect for him when like the if you've ever seen the the reels that go around of Jason Tatum where he's basically just jockeying

everybody else's like sayings and celebrations like after they won the championship. He tried to have his Garnet moment and nothing about it felt organic and then he did the I guess we'll never know thing and it's just like bro you're you're lame you're just you're hokey he's a hokey dude he's a goober like like I like he's from St. Louis so people here blow him oh that's our guy Jason Tatum. Jason Tatum is a doofus and he ain't that dude so congrats on your titles whatever. You're getting work by Jalen Brunson and these guys like Brunson is that dude Brunson didn't have a title but down the stretch who would you rather have the ball

Jason Tatum or Brunson. I take Brunson in that situation. So I'm trying to see if there's anything that makes sense betting wise tonight for me to tell you guys yesterday was obviously a dud Yeah, it Shit man, I don't know. I'm not sure on that one It's only one game not a lot going on man hockey. Why what's going on hockey wise anything good tonight? You got Carolina and Washington and Edmonton and Vegas So that might be a documentary night for me because that Warriors game may not be close.

It better not, really it better not be close. If you're the Warriors and you were embarrassed the way you were embarrassed in game one and play or rather the Wolves, if you're the Wolves in game one you were embarrassed the way you were embarrassed, that game better not be fucking close. You better win that thing by 20 tonight. There's no Steph Curry. So are you really going to roll out your squad that can play with anybody by the way when that squad's rolling there another fun team offensively

when they're rolling they're good. You want to tell me that you're going to roll out there Steph Curry ain't playing and your A squad is going to struggle against Pazimski and and and fucking Draymond and all these other doofuses on that team. Come on man. Kaminga. I mean they're doofuses, they're fine. But Jimmy Butler, don't struggle against those guys. Blow them out. That would be my encouragement for you today. Blow these cats out, please and thank you. Alright, more to come.