The Josh Innes Show - My Night Among The Elites

Episode Date: September 18, 2025

JIlly and I sat front row center, behind home plate at the Tigers/Guardians game. This was an incredible experience. What must it be like to be rich? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hello, everybody. Good morning to you. How are things going? It's all up in us. I am Josh. Hello, fresh off a trip to the ballpark last night in what can only be called the greatest seats you could imagine. Now, if any of you follow me on social media or listen to this pod, you know that yesterday Jilly and I got tickets to the Tigers Guard Indians game at Camerica Park. My boss hooked us up. my big my you know not quite the biggest boss in the building like my second biggest boss in the building texted me the other day and was like hey do you want tigers tickets for wednesday and i know where the station tickets are that we sat in before which are down the third base line kind of uh you know 12 13 14 rows up behind the third base dugout and i'm assuming those are the tickets he's talking about and i texted jillie i say hey on wednesday do you want to go to the Tigers game and she says sure yeah why not so I texted him back and I said yeah we'll be there and I'm assuming those were the seats we were going to get so I get a ticket transfer thing you know

on the ballpark app or whatever and I I click the ticket transfer and I see two tickets that are in this priority club I'm like what the hell is the priority club I look it up and it is this brand new section that they just built behind home plate it really it opened in the middle of the season. It wasn't even ready for the start of the season. And this has been kind of a controversial thing because there are a lot of empty seats in this priority club. And people are critical of it because you're giving seats to these rich people and these rich people don't even come to the games and blah, blah, blah, blah. I don't really give a shit about any of that. That's not something I'm going to get worked up over, like, what rich people do with their tickets.

Everywhere you go, rich people have tickets and everywhere you go, rich people, you know, skip the games or give it to other people or whatever. But after, doing the research on, and I find that we are going to be sitting in the front row directly behind home plate, and it'll be the first time and probably the last time that will ever happen in my life. So let me give you some of the details on this and talk about that a little bit. When we come back from these messages. So we get to this priority club, and it's just immaculate. It's brand new. You know, so we get in there. We get in there. We get in. and a special entrance into the ballpark.

They wan you in and everything. It'll give you a little wristband that shows that, hey, you're in the priority club. The priority home plate club. We go into the club area. So we get in, we walk down this hallway, down a ramp and around. And it's like you walk in and it's like, you were just hit by this blast of this, like, white light kind of. And everything's like white and clean. And you walk in and it's like a, it's like almost like a food court.

to a degree of like a fancy-ass mall, like a mall that doesn't really have shops or restaurants in it, but it's like all the samples and little stations you can imagine. And like you're at a mall that only has like a Sacks Fifth Avenue. It's like Sacks Fifth Avenue, whatever the highest-end stores are, stores that you're never going to fucking shop at. And you know you're never going to shop at these kind of stores, right? Like these are the kind of stores that were in this mall that I'm in in my head.

And that's what this section was like. You go in there and you just go from station to station, one station's got sushi, one station's got this incredible corn beef, one station's got bray short rib, one station's got pizza, one station's got hamburgers, one station's got hot dogs, one station's got, I mean, everything you can imagine. Now, they didn't have like steaks and stuff like that, but apparently some nights they do. Some nights they're lamb chop, some nights there's steaks. I mean, it's whatever your little heart can desire, they have it on particular nights. they've got all the mixed drinks you can imagine you can get whatever mixed drink you want to get they've got a beautiful bar in there and you walk up boom every mixed drink you can imagine every hot chick you can imagine there are not ugly women there was not an ugly woman in sight there were ugly men but they weren't with ugly women because it was nothing but hot chicks man like like good looking women the older women were all good looking because we're in a section

where there's money and you know where there's money and you know where there's money. There might be unattractive rich dudes, but how often do you see unattractive rich women? Think about that. Just let that simmer for a second. How often do you see unattractive rich women? You really don't. But you'll see a lot of fat dudes that are rich. You'll see a lot of unappealing dudes who are rich, but they ain't with ugly wives. So 99% of the women were hot, short shorts, baseball jerseys, cute looks, tons of seating space inside this area. And the second you sit down, almost the second you're done eating your little tray, a little plate of like corn beef or something, someone walks up, sir, can I take your plate?

And I'm like, sure, why not? Bang, you're up again. You just stack some plates. Bang, they come and pick it up again. there was a draft beer, which you've heard me talk many times about how some ballparks are terrible about draft beer. Like Bush Stadium in St. Louis, there's only like one or two spots you can find draft beer in the ballpark. And the best thing about going to a ballpark is the ice cold draft beer. Like, everyone knows that.

Like, you can go to any ballpark and get, you know, a 16 ounce aluminum pint bottle, or you can get the 25-ounce Miller Light or whatever. that's not what we're here for we are here for ice cold draft beer that's what i love at the ballpark you walk up to the lady at the counter and you just go hey i'll get two miller lights and boom bang two miller lights ready to go double fisting like a man bang jillie grabs two miller lights double fisting like a lady and we're off so uh you know we get to the seats and like you know the seats you're going to because you've looked at the view from the seat sites and everything like that, the 3D view of your seats and everything. But then you sit there and you really realize like, holy shit, I am those people today.

This is me today. If I wanted to talk shit to the umpire or a player in the on deck circle, they would no doubt hear me and I would no doubt get thrown out. Like I was trying to concoct some sort of plan that could get me some attention for the radio show, but like you can't bring signs in in that section. and I don't have any fucking t-shirts because we're poor as a radio station, I guess. And the idea of having Josh Innes show T-shirts is just like out of the realm of possibility. So I couldn't really think of anything other than trying to get myself kicked out.

And I'm like, no, I don't think I want to do that. So I'm sitting there. And it is incredible the number of empty seats that are in this section. Like tons of empty seats. In our row there were empty seats. Front row, behind home plate, not off to the right or off to the left. we are directly behind home plate our view is the umpire's ass and the back of dudes heads now the view isn't particularly good right like you if you're looking for a better view of the actual

ball game then you can be up in the loge or the mezzanine or whatever and you can get a much better view like my season tickets for the astros for instance if you just wanted a straight up view of a ball game my season tickets in section 317 i think it was 317 318 321 somewhere in that area behind home plate. Those were better tickets because you could see everything. You had a better idea of how far the ball was going. Like when we'd see one blasted into the alley, we don't really have any concept of how far the ball is hit. You just basically have to follow the outfielder. I imagine these are seats similar to the ones that you get with these on-field suites at NFL games. Difference, of course, being that you still get a decent view in baseball in the front

row behind home plate, whereas in football, if you're sitting in the front row, a lot of time you're just going to see the back of dude's heads. Like if you're in the front row on the sideline of an NFL game, your view is going to be kind of shitty. But the view is great. You see downtown Detroit, skyline, everything's awesome. The one thing that kind of, not even sucked, but it was kind of mysterious, not even mysterious, just like why, is there was no one that was just coming around to offer to

bring you beverages. in St. Louis, when you sit in the green seats in St. Louis, somebody's coming up almost constantly saying, hey, do you need anything? In this instance, you'd have to get up, go back into the club, get two more beers. And I'm trying to estimate how many times I was double-fisting. I was trying to almost keep count on TV because my sister started watching and sending us pictures of us behind Home Plate. And different people started sending us pictures of us behind home plate. Different listeners of the podcast and different radio shows and stuff started sending us pictures from what we look like behind home plate. P.K. and D.K. were sending pictures, so we tried

to give them a cheers on TV, which Denise was able to capture a picture of us holding up our beers saying cheers to them on TV. I mean, look, that's not something. I may never do that again. The way we got those tickets were, you know, one of the big radio guys here, one of the bigger hosts in town is friends with a guy who owns those seats and he very rarely uses them so he was able to get us hooked up for you know their show went yesterday uh me and my boss and his son and jilly went uh two to yesterday and they went two days ago but um if you ever have an opportunity to do this you have to it'll completely change the way of you going to the ballpark like you do that and you're like how does anybody ever do anything else not that i've never been in a suite before like

We were, it was similar, it kind of reminded me of the area we were in for the Super Bowl when we went in Minnesota where, and I don't remember a ton of that because that was just such a weird time and I was worried I was going to get fired and I was around all these people who hated me and it was a weird situation. Like, I barely even remember being at the Super Bowl. Like, that's how weird that was. Like, I remember everything during the week, and then the one part of it that was supposed to be the coolest, which was going to the Super Bowl, I remember very little of it. But in a similar way, though, there was a club. and it was underneath the seats and the club was immaculate and all the food you can imagine and the seats were great and all that. But, you know, ultimately, as cool as those seats were, I'd still read, like I was in

another club, I guess two weeks ago I had the opportunity to sit in kind of a club that was kind of on sweet level. It was down the third baseline, but it was all you can drink, all you can eat, steak stuff. They had sushi, all sorts of stuff. I think it was called like the president's club or something like that. I forgot what it was called or the players club or something, champions club. And I sat in that and you get a better idea of where the ball's going and everything. Like that's kind of the whole, that's the thing about sitting in these awesome seats.

Like it seems like, oh, these are the greatest seats in history. You're in the front row. And it is cool. I'm not going to bitch about the fact that I sat in the fucking front row behind home plate. 99% of the populace will never have an opportunity to do that. So I lived like a one percenter for one night. The cheapest seats in that section are $350 a game. I imagine the front row right behind home plate probably cost maybe double that.

Who knows, okay? But I would never turn that opportunity down. I was like the fucking, I was like Beverly Hillbillies, man. Like, Jillie and I kept talking about how bizarre it was, just two dipshits like us. Here we are front row, major league baseball game, Pennett Chase baseball, and here we are in the front row. But, and it was free. So, of course, that's great. But if you say, Josh, would you rather sit in those exact seats every time?

Or would you rather sit, you know, in the 200 level or 300 level right behind home plate? Like at press box level, I'd much rather sit at press box level. Because you get a better idea of what's happening. You get a better read on the baseball. You get a better idea of where the ball is going. Like every time the ball is hit, if it's not a pop-up, you're like, oh, I wonder if this is going to be a home run. Like, you don't really get any sort of idea of where the ball is going. I don't know how many beers I drank last night, but you're telling yourself, like, I have to drink a lot because it's free.

Like, I'd almost feel like I was doing a disservice to people if I didn't drink all the beer I could. So I'm trying to do the mat. Now, now here's one. If you're ever going to try the one beer, one hot dog per inning challenge, you're best served doing it in a situation like this because they had hot dogs and they had free beer. And I think you go with the 12-ounce beers when you do the beer challenge. And everybody who's followed me for any period of time knows that in Philadelphia, I drank like 11-25-ounce beers over the course of a nine- inning game in Philadelphia. I don't know if that's something that anybody will ever be able to do again.

I feel pretty positive that no other human has accomplished that feat. I think I'm a special drinker, and I don't think anybody else has done that or will ever do that. That will never be accomplished. They'll be shooting at that one for years and years and years, okay? 11, I think it was 11, 25-ounce beers, and it was really over the course of like seven and a half innings or eight innings. It was stupid. It wasn't over the course of the course of the full game. It was dumb.

Of course, I don't remember going home or anything after that, but it was an impressive feat, and I should have some sort of plaque on the wall at Citizens Bank Park. I don't, but I should. But if you want to do the challenge of one hot dog and one beer per inning, that would be the situation to do it. And as I was drinking the beers, the beers wouldn't have been the problem. I was double-fisting. By the time I got to the seats with the beers, they were almost gone. So my estimate on how many I had, because I didn't keep count, I had two before we went to the seats, two when we first got to the seats. Then I went back and got two more.

And we probably did that three or four more times because then I tried to start babysitting them because you just don't want to go gulp, gulp and have to go back again because no one's bringing you beers, you know. So I'd say Estimate 12 Maybe 12 beers 13 I mean they were all in two so it wouldn't be an odd number I don't believe I guess Jilly would have brought me back one So it could have been 13 I'm going to say either 13 or 15 and I don't think it was 15

So I'm going to say we probably had 13 beers Because I don't believe it would have been only nine or it could have been 11 I guess But look wonderful time if you ever have the opportunity to do it do it and people are taking my picture and stuff it's awesome good times wonderful horrible baseball game as the tigers didn't score run but it is what it is and we will have more after uh well we'll just have more stay there