The Josh Innes Show - Random Drug Talk 2

Episode Date: March 19, 2026

Well, let's continue this talk with stories of my previous anxiety problems. Please note, I'm not doing what these radio dweebs do, which is look for pity or anything. This is just me talking about the absurdity of anxiety.... Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This episode is brought to you by FedEx. These days, the Power Move isn't having a big metallic credit card to drop on the check at a corporate launch. The real Power Move is leveling up your business with FedEx intelligence, and accessing one of the biggest data networks powered by one of the biggest delivery networks. Level up your business with FedEx, the new Power Move. In communities across Canada, hourly Amazon employees can grow their skills and their paycheck by enrolling in free skills training programs for in-demand fields. Learn more at aboutamazon.ca. I'm fortunate in that I've never gotten hooked on shit that could ultimately kill me.

You know, like I've told you the story, but the time that I guess this one, I was in Houston, I forgot what doctor had. You know what it was? It was after I had had all the stuff with the encephalitis. And for some reason, that doctor prescribed me hydrocodone. I had an encephalitis. I had a brain whatever. And I got prescribed hydrocodone. I remember that. I drove to Baton Rouge for something. I don't even know if me and Jilly were together at the time. We may not have been. I probably drove over like on a Friday. LSU was playing Saturday, that type of thing. This is probably before me and Jilly were dating. That would make sense. The timeline would work out. And I remember my dad had this game room and had like, you know, the big red leather seats and checkered floors and blue walls and a big TV and shit, you know, pool table, all that shit. Remember, I went to my dad's house and I popped three hydrocodone. Why I decided to pop those three hydrocodone? No fucking clue. But that was the move of us.

I said, I'm going to pop three hydrocodone right now and see what this does. And it was the most euphoric feeling ever. It didn't last very long because I just fell asleep. Pop 3 Hydro Kodon just fell asleep. Like, all right, this is great. I remember the feeling, though, of like, I was truly flying. And it was a remarkable feeling. Like, I've never felt anything like that.

You know, like, I've never felt that experience of like, it's like my body was there, but I was watching my body. Like, I'm hovering above my body. Like, look at that guy sleeping. But, like, it was the most remarkable, euphoric feeling. feeling ever. And I woke up the next day and I'm like, boy, that's fun. I'd like to try that again. And then I remember taking like one or two of those again and could not replicate that feeling. And at that moment, I'm like, this must be what they mean when they're like, you're

chasing that initial. You're chasing the dragon type of deal. Like I'm like, I probably shouldn't get into this shit. And every now and then I would pop a couple hydrocodone. And sometimes it would result in me at least feeling some kind of positive way. Like that time I sent random radio emails to heroes of mine when I was hopped up on hydrocodone in Philadelphia. I'm just like, I'm looking through the CBS radio, you know, the rolodex of CBS radio people, you know, the, what are they called the glossary, the index, whatever, of all these email addresses of people. And I'm just like, you know what I'm going to do? I'm going to email Scott Shannon, one of my heroes. And I just started emailing people. But for the most part, like, I'm fortunate. I'm fortunate that my

addictive personality, which I've prescribed or assigned to myself, which probably is not true. But at least I'm not, you know, at the mercy of being addicted to pills or drugs or alcohol or anything like that. Like, it's just gambling. And, you know, I mean, at some point you can recover from that, although I've fucked myself pretty good over the course of the last decade or so. But, you know, looking back on that, it's like, imagine if I did. Like imagine if one day I started taking hydrocodone and I'm like, this is fucking phenomenal and I want to feel this way.

I want to feel this way again and again and again it is all I want. Imagine I had done that and then I kept chasing that and then before you know it, I'd be hooked on some sort of shit and it would be terrible. So I'm lucky in that way. But to the initial point of this, which again, I have no fucking clue with the initial point of this was. I started talking like 20 minutes ago about coffee. and now being addicted to shit. But like the medical, like the pharmacies and it is wild what you can get just by asking. When I tell you that I sat down with that doctor that he was my, and I even weighed Phil Gin on the rest of the story about that doctor.

So my boss went to that doctor. I told you I couldn't find the guy ever. He was at like three or four different offices. I'd reach out. I'd go see him. I'd sit down with him. And I had the blood work from the previous doctor. Like I'll give Dr. Buttface credit.

He was like a legitimately good doctor. I didn't like him because I wanted fucking Manjaro. That's why I'm going to go get me a guy that's going to get me yeses, basically is what it was. Like, I'm going to go out and I'm going to find me someone who's going to say yes to giving me Manjaro. So I get my boss's doctor, you know, and I go see this guy. And he basically sits me down and asks me what I want. Like, well, I want Manjaro. And then he starts just recommending other shit.

He's like, you want this too? And I'm like, yeah, sure. I mean, why not? So like he just starts giving me all of this shit and I'm like this rules Doctor's rule but then talking to the buddy of mine Like when he told me that he gets bonus on on the amount of shit he gives I'm like Bro that ain't right like you're just prescribing shit to people because there's money in it for you How do you feel like I'm not gonna judge you because you're my buddy and I'm not gonna shit on you and I'm not gonna tell you that you're a horrible human being? I know you and I know you're not a horrible human being

But like, do you not feel kind of shitty when you're prescribing shit to people knowing that there's something in it for you? I don't know. It's pretty fucked up. But then, so then this doctor that prescribes me the Manjaro one day just can't find him anymore. I forgot his name. But he's like wiped from the internet. He's like all of his reviews. His reviews were great because his reviews were all like one star, one star.

I'm like, what the fuck are you guys talking about? This guy fucks. He literally just like gave me Manjaro because I said I wanted it. this guy's like the greatest doctor ever and then old buddy just disappeared never to be seen or heard from again like poof vanished like some real hardcore unsolved mystery shit

sometimes I like to go back and look at the emails that I used to send to my neurologist because I don't delete anything in my Yahoo and like Jilly will see the number of email like Jilly's annoying with this because she wants me to delete all of my emails because every now and then she'll see me on my phone scrolling through and she'll be like why do you have like

2,000 unread emails. I'm like, I don't know. Because it's, because I don't know. It's just like, it doesn't bother me like it bothers you. Why does it bother you so much that I have all these unread emails? How does that impact your life? It doesn't. Shut it.

But I used to send that guy all those emails. Dr. John Volpe was his name. And this is right after I had the encephalitis. And remember, it took them three or four times of me having these weird episodes where like I couldn't feel my hands and I didn't know where I was and going to the hospital and all this shit at Methodist for them to finally figure out what I had. And I don't know how close I was to actually dying or not, but I mean like it was pretty fucked up. And I remember when they finally figured it out, like, okay, you had fluid on the brain, you had encephalitis, you should be good now. Because the first time they thought I had like a mini stroke or something and sent me back out into the world.

Then I went back in again, I think three or four different times I went back. back in. But then after that, I developed really bad anxiety, right? So I had anxiety, and I would have, like, these massive panic attacks because I thought the shit was happening again. The worst was a time that me and Jilly had booked a hotel in Galveston to, like, spend a night in Galveston and do some dumb shit, whatever. And I had such a bad panic attack, and I thought that I was dying, that she had to drive me from Galveston back to the hospital in Houston. And I went to the emergency room, and I told them that I need a spinal tag. It was like the kind of shit my dad does. I was like, I need a spinal tap.

I know what's wrong with me. There's fluid on my brain. And these motherfuckers gave me a spinal tap because I said, I think I need a spinal tap. And then that fucked me up and caused me to have something that was called like a blood patch or some shit. So I had these like crippling headaches. Cripling. And we couldn't figure out why I was having crippling headaches. Well, it's because I needed something called a blood patch.

But anyway. So I would, if I started to get nervous. Like, I had convinced myself that I had multiple sclerosis. Like, I had a really bad stretch of anxiety for about a year. It was like, oh, it was fucking terrible. And so what I would do is I would email Dr. John Volpe. And I would explain to him, like, I think I have MS. And I'd be like, sometimes when I walk, I kind of stumble a little bit.

And, like, sometimes I feel like, like, I, and then I would read online what kind of test you needed to do for yourself to see if you had multiple. sclerosis. So they'd be like, all right, try standing on one foot and extend your other leg. If you're able to balance on that, if you have a hard time balancing, you might have multiple sclerosis. And I'm like, who the fuck can do this whether or not they have multiple sclerosis or not? It's like when they want you to do the field sobriety test shit. And you're like, I don't know that I can do the shit sober. But I'd sit there and I'd go, okay, let me try this. And then I would, you know, like, hold one foot up. And I would do it. And I'd go like, you know, Dr. John Volpe, I feel like I have balance issues.

And they say that balance issues, it could be Parkinson's or multiple sclerosis. Do you think that because of the encephalitis I had, I may have developed multiple sclerosis or Parkinson's? And to this guy's credit, he always emailed me back. And this guy had to have thought I was absolutely bat-shit crazy. And he'd always email me back with nice things. He'd reassure me, he'd be like, well, I don't know, but maybe you should. should come in, then I'd come in for a visit. I'd like, do you think I have MS?

And then it never occurred to me. Because I thought, like, why do I have balance issues? And, like, sometimes I walk and I feel like my gates a little off. And if your gates off, you have to have multiple sclerosis. Well, then it occurred to me that back when I was, like, 10 years old, I broke my ankle, all right? And it never really phased me afterwards. Like, it never really hurt. I mean, like, it fucked it up bad.

I had to have pins in it. It was awful. But I had broken the growth plate in my ankle. And apparently breaking the growth plate can cause your foot to be a little bit smaller. So my right foot is slightly smaller and more narrow than my other foot. But I never even thought of that because no one made a big deal of it. So I was in high school and shit. I never thought of that.

I never thought like, oh, hey, by the way, I have a broken growth plate in my foot or my ankle. Therefore, I must be having, you know, like my foot small. Never thought of it. Now it's obvious. But I'd find myself kind of like off balance-wise. And it never happened to me when I was in school or anything, but later in life it started bother me. And all these times I had convinced myself that I had multiple sclerosis.

I was like, guys, I had multiple sclerosis. Jilly, I have Parkinson's. Like, wait a minute. Perhaps you have balance issues because one leg and foot is maybe a slightly a little smaller than the other because you broke the ankle and the growth plate. And then it all made sense. And then my anxiety about that kind of subsided. But there was a stretch.

and that stretch was about a year, year and a half, that I had crippling anxiety to the point that, and I didn't know that that's what it was. Like, I would just think, like, because you don't know that when you think you're dying, you don't think that it's, you don't know it's anxiety, right? So I would be on the air with Rich in the afternoons. There were multiple times I had to leave and I went to the hospital. And at no point that I ever think this is anxiety, I thought I was dying. Now, that's the kind of shit that happens to my dad every five.

minutes. But like I kind of eventually got over that because I was like, all right, it's been 15 years since you've had this thing, Josh. I don't think it's going to rear its ugly head. But in the first, you know, year or two after you have this encephalitis, which is the most frightening thing that's ever happened to me, I'd be on the air just petrified. Like, and then I would try to do all this shit they'd tell you to do online. Like, hey, it's just, it's okay. Say your first and last name and repeat your address and then start pointing out things that are around you. So, um, so like you know that you know that you're You're there.

So I'd be like, I'm Josh Ennis. I live at 3,000 Bissan. I guess that would have been one of my addresses in Houston. I don't remember all. I live on Leland Street in Houston. My name is Josh. My birthday is August 11th, 1986. In front of me is a fire alarm.

And this TV says 106.7 W LLC, Detroit's Wheels. And like you would do all that kind of shit. That's what they tell you to do. Like for anxiety. Or like if you're nervous, like whatever, like that can kind of level you out. It doesn't, by the way. If you're like having a hard. core panic attack and you think you're going to fucking die.

You can sit there all day and be like, hey look, I'm Josh. This is my birthday. It does not fucking matter. You think you're going to die. So I would just like I would try all that. Now that I recall there were multiple times I left the radio station and just went to the hospital because I thought I was having another issue. And who was to doubt me?

Because I mean all the people at the radio station had seen me have these issues. So who were they to say that I wasn't? that was all like in 2010, 2011, then it eventually leveled out. But like, then I was convinced I was having heart attacks. And I didn't realize it was all anxiety. But I was like, I feel like there's a tightness in my chest and I can't swallow. I think I'm having a heart attack. Like, I'm really glad and I hope that that doesn't come back again.

Because that shit was fucked up. It was not an enjoyable experience. But anyway, totally random discussion. I'm fully aware. All that to tell you, big pharma. It's a real mess.