The Josh Innes Show - Random Stories I Didn't Talk About On Radio

Episode Date: November 6, 2025

Let's see what we have here. 1. We have bear attacks in Japan. 2. Jelly Roll feels like he was treated like a criminal at a store 3. A kid planted a needle in his own Halloween Candy 4. Someone got stabbed at Footlocker. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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I have a stack of stories that I either got to. two on the radio show today, but most of them are going to be ones that I didn't get to on the radio show today because I print out a bunch of stuff. Some of it I use. Some of it I don't. So let's look into some of this now. We will do this and give you kind of an idea of what, or I might even give you some extended stuff from the radio show as well, because we don't get as long form to talk about these things as we'd like to on the show. So I'll give you some of these as well. So we will do that after these words. All right, first story, and we did talk about this on the show today, but I think it's a good one for us.

Jelly Roll says he was treated like a criminal at an Australian Louis Vuitton store. See where this audio is. I think this is the audio right here. This is Jelly Roll breaking down the reaction he got from people at a store, a Louis Vuitton store in Australia. The Louis Vuitton and Sydney legitimately just treated us like we were. friend to come in and rob that place. I have never been looked at more like a crazy. Listen, the last time I was looked at like a criminal this bad, I was an actual criminal

this bad. Well, perhaps, and look, I don't know, look, I don't know how people feel about you or what the situation is, but I think maybe people look at you a criminal in a Louis Vuitton store because you have face tattoos. There aren't too many folks who have face tattoos that people look at as some sort of upstanding member of society. Now, if you want to have face tattoos, have face tattoos. I am not, you know, the boss of you. I'm not one. I'm not going to, you know, like, give you advice on what to do with your life. If you want to have face tattoos, look, you're in the right

field for it. You're a musician. You're an entertainer. You're in wrestling, whatever. So all those face tattoos are fine for you, jelly roll. You're not trying to get a job at a bank or something. So having face tattoos is not exactly the end of the world for you. it's not going to cost you anything. But some people may view you as a heathen or think that, hey, this guy looks very odd in the Louis Vuitton store with his face tattoos. So that's just a thought, right? That's number one.

Basically, what you did is you had a pretty woman scenario. You had a pretty woman moment that happened where basically you walked into the Louis Vuitton store and these people looked at you awkwardly because, you know, in this case, you've got face tattoos. but you might as well have been the hookers, right? So you are home girl, Julia Roberts, Vivian, you walk into the store, nobody wants to serve you anything. Nobody wants to take you and look at clothes because they think that you're just some bus station skank, which I've always found interesting because, again, she's a very pretty person in that movie. And yes, she's a somewhat scantily clad in her outfit's kind of trashy looking, but it's not like she's a real hooker.

Like you start, like, based on what real hookers actually look like, she looked nothing like her. real hooker yet these people at this store were just like a hooker piece of shit but anyway look i got money to spend in here i don't think we have anything for you you're obviously in the wrong place please leave well and that's kind of how this thing goes but um so there's that um but jelly roll was treated as if he were some sort of criminal by the louis baton store but then that maybe he gets his big moment he gets to go back and say hey look big mistake. Big mistake. Big. Huge. I have to go shopping now. So maybe he gets that moment in life, which would be a special moment for jelly roll, and I'm rooting for him. 19-year-old stabbed at

Southland Mall and Taylor. A woman is arrested. So this is in Taylor, Michigan at the Southland Mall. A 19-year-old woman was arrested. Sorry, I take this back. A 19-year-old woman was stabbed inside a kid's foot locker at the Southland Mall and Taylor. How did this go down? Police sources tell Fox 2 that a 40-year-old woman was trying to buy something at the kid's footlocker. That was when the 19-year-old behind her allegedly said, Broke bitch. Officials say a fight started when the 19-year-old was slashed and stabbed with a blade by the 40-year-old. The victim is expected to be okay.

The 40-year-old woman accused has been arrested. Why is she getting arrested? Unless, now, of course, it could be a scenario where the chick said, broke-ass bitch or whatever. And then, like, she just pulls out the knife because she just pulls out the knife because He's angry that someone called her a broke bitch and then just stabbed her. But if a fight broke out, it just so happened that you had a knife and the other person didn't, then you just won the fight.

He pulls a knife. You pull a gun and he sends one of you's in the hospital. You send one of theirs to the morgue and that's the Chicago way. Like, look, if somebody wants to start some shit. I guess the question is, is calling somebody a broke bitch at the kid's foot locker? Is that like grounds to start some real shit? Is that grounds for a throwdown? That would be my question.

Is it grounds for a throwdown if somebody calls you a broke bitch in the line at the kid's footlocker? And if it's grounds for action, look, all bets are off. You started some shit. Don't start. No shit. Won't be no shit. Right? Like, I find myself more and more rooting for the people that stabs stupid people.

Maybe it is in my older age, in my old white guy age that I'm getting to. In my, hey, I plan on watching Death Witch on Loop all the time. Like, I'm looking for vigilante justice. But the more I hear about stupid people saying stupid shit, I just don't give too fucks if they get stabbed or not. Like, look, am I on anybody's side in this? I guess not. But if I had to pick a side and, like, you just look at the story

and you were obligated to take somebody from this story and pick to be, like, I'm on their side. I'm on the side of the person that did the slash stabbing because, The other person wouldn't have gotten stabbed had they not been like broke bitch. Someone calls me a broke bitch. You know what? You're getting shanked, motherfucker. So good.

So I'm on the side of the, in the 19-year-old being stabbed at the Southland Mall in Taylor, Michigan. My, I will choose to be on the side of the person who did the stabbing. That is being forced to make a choice. Otherwise, I think they're both probably losers. They're at the kid's foot locker in the mall. They're stabbing each other over shit. they're probably losers. But being forced to take a side in this, I will take the side of the stabber.

So there's that story. Former exec with the Atlanta Hawks charged with embezzling millions from the team. A former executive vice president with the Atlanta Hawks organization has been accused of embezzling millions from the team during his tenure there. According to prosecutors, Lester T. Jones Jr., allegedly stole in excess of 3.8 million and has since been charged with wire, by the Northern District of Georgia. Between 2017 and June of 2025, Jones allegedly submitted false and altered invoices, manipulated financial reports, and doctored emails to cover his tracks. Personal trips Jones reportedly took on the Hawks' dime included trips to the Bahamas, Puerto Rico, Hawaii,

Costa Rico, Switzerland, and Thailand. And he also was allegedly able to load up on toys like a Porsche, clothes, jewelry, concert tickets, and more. So here's my thoughts on embezzling from big corporations or sports teams like this. You can't fly too close to the sun when embezzling. The problem is once you start embezzling and you start thinking you're getting away with it, you're going to keep pushing the limits of the embezzling. So you're going to sit there and take more chances and you're going to take out more money. It is probably possible to embezzle money from a big company or big corporation,

a sports team like the Atlanta Hawks. I'm sure it's very possible to embezzle money, and some people may not notice. What you cannot do is have over $4 million of embezzled cash or sending yourself on big luxurious trips to the Bahamas. If you're just trying to get by and maybe get a little bit, I think you could. And you could almost justify it. Like, yes, they'd still arrest you and yes, you'd be fired. But you could almost build sympathy from people. If you're like, hey, I wasn't making enough money, so I embezzled from the big company.

and I was just barely getting by, whatever. But if you're the guy that's doing the embezzling from the big company, which you probably already have a decent job there because you were an executive vice president with the Atlanta Hawks, so you're already embezzling the cash. Then you're like, by the way, I've embezzled $4 million. Well, no one's going to feel sorry for you, and you're not going to get away with it.

It's like the same concept as like when we talk about point shaving or guys taking their unders in gambling and sports. The only way to make it worth your while is to take a show. you know, to make a big bet. The problem is, once you make a big bet, people see that and it raises flags and people are like, oh, no, this person, like, we got to look into this, then they find out you've been cheating. The only way to really get away with it is for you to make smaller bets that people don't, that really aren't on people's radar. But you can't do that because it's not worth the squeeze. But yeah, if you're going to embezzle, here's some

words of advice from Uncle Josh. If you are going to embezzle, don't embezzle $3.8 million over the course of, I guess, eight years, although I guess 3.8 million over eight years and that much. I guess on a yearly basis, I mean, it'd still be a large amount, but will they really notice? I don't know, but obviously somebody did. So that guy is in some trouble.

Child responsible for needles and Halloween candy hoax, Roxville police say. So this kid, so this kid is nine years old. So here's the story. A local nonprofit is trying to create okay, that's an ad. We don't

want that. Police in Rockville, Maryland, warned families to inspect all candy after they received reports that needles were found in children's Halloween candy. People are scared. The townspeople are like, oh my God, we've got ourselves a bad man that's putting needles in kids candy. Well, upon further review, it was actually a nine-year-old kid who was responsible for placing the needles in a hoax that was limited to his own home. So it's not like any other kids took on any needles or anything like that. This kid apparently, according to Rocks, Rockville police on Saturday, two children were given packages of gummy bears containing sewing needles embedded inside the candy. They cited reports they received. The kids got the candy in the area of Welsh Drive and

West Edmondston Drive, police said. Police shared the photos of needles in the two bags of candy. On Monday, police said their investigation determined the incident was a hoax carried out by a nine-year-old child within the household where the report originated. The child admitted to placing the sewing needles in the two packages of gummy bears. The child's parents found the needles as they checked Halloween treats with a magnet as a precaution, the police said. So a little bit more details on this. The nine-year-old confessed to putting the needles in the bags after significant public

and media attention surrounding the initial report. No one was hurt. There was no evidence suggesting any candy was tampered with in the community. Quote, the incident understandably raised concerns within our community, and we are grateful that it did not present a broader threat to public safety, said the chief of police. I commend the professionalism, blah, blah, blah, blah. All right. So, that kid, no doubt, got his ass whipped. That kid, like, once the parents found out that kid was fucking around and he's responsible for that, I don't know if it was dad or if it was mom or if it was both, if they just tag team the little shit.

but he got his ass whipped and he got his ass whipped good like imagine what's going through your mind if you're this kid and like you know you did this and you don't think it's going to become a huge deal maybe he posted the picture on social media get a few likes few reactions blah blah blah imagine the reaction or how you're feeling in that moment whenever you realize it's become this huge local story and people are afraid of candy like what's going through a nine-year-old's mind because like nine-year-old minds are not the same as a 15 or 20-year-old guy's mind But these kids today are smarter than they used to be because they're technological and they're savvy in technology. So when I was a nine-year-old kid, I wouldn't have thought about doing any shit like this.

Like we'd go next door, get a universal remote control, start aiming it at the other people's TV and start changing their channels. That was the extent of our tomfoolery and hijinks. I never thought to put a needle in candy and be like, hey guys, look, there was a needle in my candy. But these kids are savvy now because they're nine going on 40 because of the internet. Let's see. Here's a list of how social media grooms us to believe lies. Well, I don't need a list to tell me that. Number one, algorithms are designed to reinforce beliefs. No shit. This list should just be called, hey, no shit. Number two, viral content is designed to overwhelm and trigger. Yep, no shit. Number three, influencers shape our views and opinions. Yep, no shit.

Number four, emotional content bypasses logic. Super duper, no shit. Headlines tell half the story. No shit. Confirmation bias clouds judgment. You might be no shit. Instant gratification discourages deep thinking. Of course, FOMO drives participation and reaction. Yes, algorithms dictate and distort reality, of course, and clickbait lures us in. Why was this necessary? I'm reading this story like, no shit. I didn't need somebody writing me a list to tell me how social media grooms us to believe lies. Of course we know this. I didn't need a breakdown on that, but thank you. Let's see.

Other stories we didn't get to, Japan deploys troops to fight wave of bear attacks. Well, you know how I feel I root for the bear. Although, if these bears are like coming into the cities or something, then you've got to take them out. But if you're in the forest or in the woods or wherever, and the bears are eating you, then you get your ass eating. Japan has deployed military troops to the country's mountainous north to help trap bears after an urgent request from local authorities struggling with an unprecedented wave

of attacks. The operations began in Casuno, a town of about 30,000 people in Akita, where residents have been told for weeks to avoid thick forests, stay indoors after dark, and carry bells to keep bears away. Do bears keep, are bears like repelled by bells? Like, I don't know if there's some bear that wants to eat me. Is ringing a bell going to keep him from me? Like, hey, guys, I got my bear attack bell. Maybe. There have been 12 deaths across Japan. Japan, more than 100 people have been attacked by bears since April. Well, like, stay the fuck out of the forest. There you go.

You don't want to get attacked by a fucking bear. Don't go to the forest. We have this conversation all the damn time. We do this all the time. If you don't want to get eaten by a bear, don't go where the bears live. Now, if the bears come after you and they come to your house or whatever, that's another story. But when you go to the forest or heavily wooded lush areas, you're probably going to get taken out by a bear if that's where the bears are.

If you don't want to get eaten by bears, don't go where the bears are. You are in their house. They will fucking eat you. And they are justified in doing so because they will eat first and ask questions later. They are bears. They eat. That is in their mind, right? They are there to eat your fucking face.

They are bears. So sorry, Japanese people. I would have assumed you were smarter than this. Just stay the fuck out of the forest and you won't get eaten by a bear. Or make sure you carry your bear bell. So you make sure if the bears are coming at you, you ring that fucking bell. I want to see the bear who realizes at one point that the bell means absolutely nothing. Like in my mind, there's a whole group of bears that hang out together, and they're like,

God, I was going to eat that person until they rang the bell. And then, like, one bear shows up. Like, he's at the end of the bar drinking a fucking honey. And he's at the end of the bar. And, like, he just overhears the conversation and goes, you all know those bills won't hurt nobody. And all the guys, like, stop and they stop playing, like, bear music on the jukebox. And they all kind of walk over. Like, he's fucking Danny Zuko and has all.

all the knowledge and they walk over there and the bears are like yeah right you want me to believe that a bell is not going to hurt us see this guy and then like he pulls out his phone and he's got pictures of like a human holding the bell and they're like oh my god what did you do when that human had that bell and then like the next picture like the person's dismembered and he's got like a fucking leg hanging out of his bear mouth and they're like holy shit you ate him even though he had a bell he's like yeah you fucking dumbasses of course I ate him it's a bell it's not going to hurt us. We're fucking bears. Boy, once you get bears starting to realize that they're actually bears and they can

fuck shit up and not have to be afraid of a bear bell. Shit. Shit goes ham, brother. So, Japanese black bears can weigh up to 280 pounds. I'll fuck them. I weigh 300. I can take them. While brown bears on the northern island of Hokkaido can reach almost 900 pounds. Jesus Christ, we're going to need a bigger bell. All right. Anyway, so that's some of the stuff we didn't get to on the show today. Imagine what we did get to. More to come.