The Josh Innes Show - Random Thoughts: Houston vs. All Y'all

Episode Date: October 24, 2022

I'm pumped about the Astros sweeping the Yankees. Nothing would bring me more joy than watching the Astros get title #2. I've seen Philly dopes talking about cheating. Screw em. Go get the ring. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is the Josh Innes Show. Howdy hi and welcome in. Josh Innes Show. What's going on on this Monday? Of course the Astros are in the World Series again because that's what they do after sweeping the Yankees. That was enjoyable. And I'm not some Yankee hater either. Like I know that you're supposed to be but I'm not really.

Like I've never been that way. I've never gone like, oh, I hate the Yankees. But the Yankees have really just irked me lately. That's all the cheating stuff. Like, hey, get over it. You lost. You know, life goes on. And even with them, I understand it to a degree.

Like, okay, fine. You got screwed a little bit. At least you have a case. You and the Red Sox might have a case. Some of these other teams crying about the Astros being cheaters. My God, just let me drink their tears. My God, please, I will masturbate with your tears as lubricant. I enjoy it.

And I know some of you might listen to this and say, oh, you're a fraud, you're not even an Astros fan. Oh, but I am. And I know that some Philly people listen to this pod, so they'll say, oh, you're a fraud, you were rooting for the Cardinals the other day. Yeah, I was. That is my team. Anybody who's ever listened to me knows that my team is the St. Louis Cardinals.

But my second team, the team that I had season tickets for, the team that I grew up watching because that's the games we had in Baton Rouge on TV and the games we had on the radio, so I listened to them. I listened to Milo Hamilton and Alan Ashby. I listened to those games. I grew up listening to those. When I moved to Houston, me and Meltzer would sit our asses in that empty-ass ballpark and watch a crappy baseball team almost every night. That's the life I led. So I do feel a kinship to the Astros. I

have given away tons of tickets to see Astros games. I've been to the World Series multiple times with the Astros. I consider them part of my fabric, part of my DNA. Are they my lifeblood? Are they my squad? Am I riding and dying with them? I love them. They're not the squad that I grew up with, but you bet your fucking ass I will always rep Houston because I love Houston. I'm getting a lot of shit from a lot of people on social media, on Facebook, from people, oh, you're a Fugazi fan. That's from dipshits in Philadelphia. Well, friend, you wouldn't give a shit if I was a Fugazi fan if I was a Fugazi fan for

your fucking team. Like when I used to walk around in Philadelphia and I'd have on an Eagles shirt, nobody was judging me for that. You didn't care that I was some fraud that came to your city wearing some shit. All you cared about is that I was apparently rooting for your teams. That's all people gave a shit about. So now, because I'm not rooting for your team, and as a matter of fact, I hope you get fucking swept, people come to me like I'm some sort of asshole because I'm rooting for the Astros.

Well, let me tell you something, friend. Again, I spent nearly a decade in Houston. I, again, grew up watching and listening to the Astros. So it's not like I'm some Johnny-come-lately in terms of knowing about or caring about the Astros. I feel like I've known about and cared about the Astros a lot longer, for being real, than a lot of Astros quote-unquote fans who jumped on the bandwagon when they got good in 2016-2017. That's real talk. Really like 2015. When it looked like they might be building something, 2015, I feel like I had been there for a lot longer than that.

I'm old school, baby. There's a lot of people that are rooting for the Astros right now and might not have a fucking clue who Berkman, Biggio, Bagwell, Derek Bell. They might not know any of these people. They might have heard their names, but they didn't watch them. They didn't experience it. I feel like I'm invested in this franchise because of how long I've been following them. Am I a diehard?

No, but you bet your ass I follow them, and I am a diehard of the city of fucking Houston. Those are my people. But, Josh, I got a question from someone on Facebook earlier today. Well, Josh, are you at least a little bit torn in this one? No, I'm not even a little bit torn. I don't root for Philadelphia in anything. I sit at home home and I root against Philadelphia if I root at all.

When the 76ers play some team in the playoffs, I want them to lose. When the Eagles play, I want them to lose. Even though I do like Jalen Hurts, I have actually nothing against. It's weird. I don't have anything against the people playing the games, but McDougal made me hate the teams.

So fuck you. I don't want your teams to win. Why should you have joy? A month ago, all these people wanted to fire everybody from the baseball team, and they said they suck. Now they're like, we're a team of destiny. Yeah, your destiny is to meet up with the fucking Astros and get your asses whipped, because it's Dusty's destiny. It's the Astros' destiny for them to come out and get a second ring to shut up all the bullshit about cheating.

And I know it won't. I know that there will still be people that will say they cheated. McDougal's probably already got it planned out. Oh, they cheated. You cheated. You probably cheated again. You're like the Patriots. You're like the Pats.

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that the Eagles or rather the Philly fans, Philadelphia fans, for the second time, a Philly team will become America's team. The most hated fans will have America's team because the world will be rooting against a team. The world apparently was rooting against the Patriots in the Super Bowl when they played in 18 and they apparently are going to be rooting against the Astros in the World Series great fuck em

like there is so much pride and awesomeness that comes with being involved with a city and a fan base where seemingly everyone truly hates you like Philly lives in this world where they think everybody hates them in reality nobody gives a fuck about their existence they're just a lot of gross people seemingly everyone truly hates you. Like, Philly lives in this world where they think everybody hates them. In reality, nobody gives a fuck about their existence.

They're just a lot of gross people that do gross shit, and that's fine. But for the most part, nobody really gives a shit about you. So when you chant, no one likes us, we don't care, no one actually gives a fuck about you, and you do care. At least there's legit heat for the Astros. All these fan bases hate them because they think that they have an ill-begotten championship and that they are frauds and that they are cheaters. Fine. They're cheaters.

They paid the piper. Now they're not cheating. That was six years ago, five years ago, however many years ago it was. And this is a team that's going to win the World Series. The Astros are going to go out and they're going to win. And I would give my left nut for them to sweep it and go 11-0 in the postseason and get Dusty a ring and get Verlander another ring. That's what I want to see.

I would truly enjoy that thoroughly. Especially, and if we're being real, a lot of the Astros fans, a lot of the online Johnny-come-lately Astros fans on there who hate Dusty and hate everything about the way they don't like James Click. Well, guess what? You're going to be celebrating a World Series that's going to be won by Dusty Baker and James Click. Like, that group of people is who I find extremely obnoxious, is the online faction of Astros supporters who are, a lot of them are Johnny-come-latelys, didn't watch the team when they stunk, didn't watch them back in the late 90s. Couldn't care less about J.R. Richard or Nolan or Kevin Bass.

You know, just go down the list of people. They don't care about those guys. They're not baseball people. They are, hey, the team is winning. I jumped on board. The only broadcasters I've ever known are Todd Callath. Those type of guys. And Blummer, right? Those kind of guys. Like, those people annoy me because they shit on Dusty

forever. Guess what? Dusty's four wins away from a World Series. They shit on James Click. Well, guess what? James Click's roster is about to win a World Series. And speaking of these rosters, my God, I know I talk about it a lot, but I cannot stop talking about Peña. Everything about the Peña story is great, right?

Like, you know, your mentor is Carlos Correa. Carlos Correa is known for getting big hits in the postseason, right? He gets the home runs. What are they going to say now? It points to his wrist. It's like, hey, what time is it? All that stuff. When you've needed big hits in the postseason for the last five or six years,

you can count on Carlos Correa to get you a big fucking hit, right? The guy is a stud. He decides to roll out and say, screw you guys. I'm collecting a bigger check. I'm going to go over to Minnesota, and then we're going to see what happens after that, right? He rolls out. He's replaced by his mentor, and his mentor comes in and hits 22 home runs in the regular season. His mentor comes into the postseason, and that's what we really cared about.

We didn't care about what you did in April, May, June. We care about what you do in October because Astros baseball is October. That is what the Astros are. The division stinks, and the Astros run away with it so frequently that it doesn't matter what happens in May. May is a joke. June is a joke. The Astros are what teams like the Yankees used to be, the Patriots. The Astros are sort of like the Patriots in that the regular season doesn't matter

because it's a foregone conclusion that you're winning at least 12 every year. And the NFL, well, this Astros team is going to win 95 every year. That's who they are until proven otherwise. They're a team that's going to win a shitload of baseball games. So the regular season, it's kind of like the old school Braves when the Braves won 14 division titles or

15 division titles in a row. And people just kind of thought, nah, it's a foregone conclusion. They're winning the East. No one else can play with them. And if not, they'll get in the wild card, whatever. They're going to be in the postseason. The Astros are in the middle of one of those kind of runs. And that team goes out there and they care about October.

None of this shit would have mattered if they go out and lose in the first round of Seattle. If they go out and lose to the Yankees, they don't give a shit about what happened in May, June, July. What matters is what happens in August, or rather October. So when you start looking at Pena and you say, man, he did some big shit, but we all said it going into the postseason, what is Pena going to do when the lights are on and he's got to get big hits? Well, the dude basically saved the Seattle series by setting the table for Jordan. Jordan was the MVP of that series.

Fine, he hit the two big homers. I get it. Table was set by Jeremy Pena. And by the way, Jeremy Pena made a few gigantic plays defensively as well. The guy's glove is disgusting. He's awesome. But he set the table. He was the table setter in that series.

Then the LCS comes around, and every time you need a big knock, the dude gets one for you. That's the amazing thing about what the Astros are and what they're doing. Honestly, it's one of the more breathtaking things you're going to see in the world of sport is to see a team like this where you just motor through the regular season

and you look into October and say, this is all that matters. Do you realize how fucking awesome that is? That the games that happen in June mean nothing? Because it's all about what happens when you're trying to win 11 games in October, and you've already won seven of them? It is out of control. And then you get to sit back, and you're going to get everybody's best shot,

and everybody's going to tell you how terrible you are, and everybody's going to tell you that you're cheaters, and everybody's going to tell you that your championships are ill-begotten, and everybody's going to tell you how terrible you are. And everybody's going to tell you that you're cheaters. And everybody's going to tell you that your championships are ill-begotten. And everybody's going to shit on you. Well, you know what? That makes it even better, and it brings the fucking fan base and the community together. My God, it's incredible. And you know what's going to happen?

Fast forward. I'm already seeing it. The McDougals in Philadelphia are going to tell you that you're cheaters. And they're going to tell you that you're fraud champions. And they're going to tell you about how great their past is, even though it's not. They're one of the worst teams historically ever. But they're going to tell you about how great a sports fans they are, and that Houston's a throwaway sports town, and that we're a better sports city, and we're Philly, and we fight, and blah, blah, blah. And they're going to pull out

the Apollo 13 references, and Houston, you have a problem. They're going to do all that bullshit. But the only thing that matters is what happens and which team wins four games first. And what's going to happen is the team wearing orange and blue is going to come out on top, and they may sweep it. Like, I see no reason to believe that they're going to lose games. I don't. Like, tell me this. When they're down in a game, do you believe that they're out of it?

I don't. Oh, you're down 3-0? Lance stinks? He's down 3-0? Great. What's going to happen? Oh, Peña. Bang.

Tie game. Oh, they're down 5-4 late in the game? Bang. RBI hit. Air. They take advantage of these airs. It's fucking crazy, man. Like, it is fun.

I love watching these guys play October baseball. I love the way the city comes baseball. I love the way the city comes together. I love looking at the bars and the bar scene and the people. I fucking love you, Houston. I love it. And I want nothing more than to see the Astros just beat the shit out of Philadelphia and put them back in their fucking hole. I cannot wait. So just remember, you're going to deal with a bunch of dumb shit from a bunch of dumb people. And they're going to tell you all sorts of dumb shit. They're going to go after you on social media.

Fuck them. You're the Astros. You're the class of Major League Baseball. The reason everybody's taking swings at you is because they want to be you. You are the franchise. Six straight American League Championship Series. Four appearances now in the World Series. Time to get another goddamn ring.

Let's do this shit, Astros.