The Josh Innes Show - Rich Eisen's Dumb Chiefs Take

Episode Date: December 18, 2025

I despise Rich Eisen. I mean, I think he's the epitome of pretty much everything I hate. He's smarmy. He's not relatable. He's basic. He offers nothing. Earlier this week, he offered the classic sports media doofus take about the Chiefs not being in the playoffs... Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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And it's a take that only media people have. No fans think this way, by the way. But media people do because media people don't live in the real world, particularly media people like Rich Eisen, who I think is just the pits. I despise the guy. I just don't think he's interesting. I think he's smar me. I don't like him. You know I don't like him.

But he is one of these guys that now that the chiefs aren't in the playoffs, he's feels that basically the playoffs are now meaningless and less interesting because, God forbid, the chiefs miss the playoffs. I have never met a fan in my life who gives a shit what teams are in the playoffs as long as it's theirs. I've never come across a fan who's been like, man, I'm really glad my team's in the playoffs, but it feels a little less special, you know, because the chiefs aren't in the playoffs or the Patriots aren't in the playoffs. Who gives a shit? But media people do, because media people have no idea how actually. fans and actual humans feel or think, they're just people who are concerned with their own

bottom lines and ratings and like they just don't think like actual humans. Yet they all have these platforms and people listen to their shit, even though they don't think at all like any of us do. Let's take a break and let's listen to Rich Eisen's dumb shit today. Maybe it's just a phase you're going through. You'll get over it. I can't help you with that. The next appointment is in six months. You're not alone. mental health support shouldn't leave you feeling more lost. At CAMH, we know how frustrating it can be trying to access care. We're working to build a future where the path to support is clear,

and every step forward feels like progress, not another wrong turn. Visit camh.ca to help us forge a better path for mental health care. All right, let's see here. Rich Eisen, you're up next on the dumb shit carousel here. This is Rich Eisen talking about, uh, the fans and how fans are going to be now sad because the Chiefs are not in the playoffs. This is what I want to say on this front with the Kansas City Chiefs not making the playoffs. First time of the Mahomes era.

You're going to miss him. No, we're not. No, we're not. You know who I'm going to miss my fucking teams? That's who I'm going to miss in the playoffs, Rich. You know who I'm going to miss in the fucking playoffs? The Saints. My team.

You know, I'm going to miss the Lions, the team I bet on to make the playoffs and it's going to cost me $1,000 fucking dollars. No one's going to miss the Chiefs. You are. Don't tell me what I'm going to fucking miss. Rich, you smarmy, cashmere sweater wearing bald fuck boy, don't tell me what I'm going to miss. Don't tell me what I'm going to miss. I know what I'm going to be into. You know what I'm going to do playoff weekend?

I'm going to watch all those freaking games no matter who's playing. It doesn't matter that Patrick Mahomes isn't out there fake limping around for a game. And I don't care. You know, you're going to miss them. Don't tell me. If you want to tell me you're going to miss them, then tell me you're going to miss them. But please, cut the shit. And don't tell me how I'm going to feel about something, you bald, penis-looking fuck.

You're going to miss the Kansas City Chiefs when the AFC playoffs are hitting. You're going to miss the buzz. You're going to miss the pizzazz. You're going to miss Mahomes. Then don't watch. Then don't fucking watch, Rich. And don't, if they have you call a playoff game, which they won't, because they just ship your ass over to Brazil to call shitty games. So I'm going to guess you're not calling a playoff game.

Like, don't, like, I don't understand. stand like it is the worst fucking take it is such a bad take there is no worse take than hey fans you're going to really miss the chiefs like god it's so bad and you know the kind of people who give it like like those are the kind of takes that like that dickhead um mark ryan who used to fill in and houston would give like that's a mark ryan take that is a shitty low hanging fruit call baiting i know how you're going to feel take fuck you Give me a, and then, oh, I'm watching this video and I'm seeing this rich eyes and Smarmfest 09 over here with his stupid sweater and his big watch.

And by the way, bro, just get rid of the skullet. You're bald, motherfucker. Shave the sides off. You look like a dickhead, okay? But like, I'm listening to this. Oh, you're going to miss them. I ain't missing shit. I don't care that Mahomes is in there.

I don't care. It's the fucking NFL playoffs, man. This isn't the college football playoff where it's like, well, I can either have, you know, Notre Dame or Tulane. Sure, I miss Notre Dame in the college football playoff because I don't give a shit about watching Tulane get waxed by Ole Miss. But like the idea that, oh, boy, you're going to miss them. I'm not. I don't give a shit.

I'm here to watch the NFL. My God. And I think it's not even the opinion that bothers me. It's the messenger. It's not the message so much. It's the messenger. Like, yeah, the message sucks. It's a bad message.

But the messenger is a smarmy fuck boy. and I really hate him so much. Versus filling a blank. You're going to miss Mahomes versus fill in a blank with no time left. I'm not. I'm not going to miss. By the way, the reason I'm not going to miss them is because it's obvious they fucking suck, bro. It's not like they were left out by a committee.

They didn't earn their way in because they're not good anymore. Rich? You're going to miss something. The AFC playoffs will have less juice to it. without the Chiefs and Patrick Mahomes. Then don't watch it. I'm sorry, stay at home. Don't host your little show on NFL network.

Please, in line. So I wonder if like when you're doing your NFL network shit and you're doing pregame for these playoff games for the NFL network. I wonder if you're going to step up and be like, well, guys, I'm just going to be honest with you. I don't even really give a shit about this because Patrick Mahomes isn't playing

and I was hoping that I can get balls deep on this guy today. Let's do a couple of stories about Patrick Mahomes. just so we can talk about Patrick Mahomes. Actually, you know what we're going to do? We're going to bring in Chris Collinsworth to flagelate, to, to orally stimulate Patrick Mahomes, just so we can have some Mahomes conversation. Oh, Patrick Mahomes.

Like, is that what we're going to do? God, this guy is the worst. There is not a way. Send me a message today when you listen to this and tell me somebody worse. This guy is worse than the dickheads on W.O. Those guys are dipshits. Like, they're just nobodies that had no ratings at 97-5. You throw them on WIP.

They say incendiary shit and they get, you know, they get listeners and all that. Fine, whatever. But I don't expect anything out of them because I know what they are. This guy is on the NFL network, former sports center guy, and all you have to offer is telling me who I'm going to miss. If you want to go on there and say, man, I'm really going to miss Mahomes, do that. I wonder if at any point he says this. At any point in this audio, does my man step up and say, actually, it's me who's going to miss Mahomes. Or do you do the typical lazy sports media shithead thing

and just point to everybody else and say, oh, I know you're going to miss them. All you chief fatigers out there. All you chiefs fatigers out there will admit it. You might have to go higher register. Leagues want to flown with the chiefs are good. No one says this. There are no people that ever say this in any sport.

Fans do not care who's good and who's bad. They care if their team is good. Like, let's say, like, who's going to cash in and benefit from Mahomes being out? Buffalo. Okay, Buffalo, you would think. The Texans, they're going to get in the playoffs. Denver? Do you think Denver's sitting here today, like fans of the Broncos, number one seed in the NFL?

They're like, yeah, it's great that we're the number one seed in the AFC right now. But I don't know, man. It kind of sucks. I don't want to win the playoffs because Patrick Mahomes isn't there. And if Patrick Mahomes isn't there, it's just not as much fun. We forfeit. You know what? Let's just actually, you know what we're going to do.

We're going to go mean girls with it. And if we win the Super Bowl trophy, we're going to take one little piece of it and just throw it to Patrick Mahomes because, my God, we miss him so much. Look, people are happy about their downfall, but we got to see a generational talent, which we got to see things in this decade that we've never seen before. And I can't wait to see how they're going to come back and make it happen again. He's not done, people. And everything I just said is one big Madlib. You remember that children's game? Kids, there used to be something called Madlibs where you would actually write with a pencil.

Oh, my God, this guy is the fucking worst. I hate this guy so much. I hate everybody that used to be on ESPN. Another hot take. Not as hot as my Travis Kelsey is better, or Jason Kelsey is better looking than Travis Kelsey take, which is an all-timer. But I hate people who were on ESPN when people thought ESPN was good because what you learn about them is they do other stuff that isn't Sports Center is they are un-eastern. interesting. Rich Eisen is not an interesting person. He does this podcast because they pay him or this show because they pay him fine. It's mostly just him playing grab ass with a bunch

of celebrities and laughing at actual talented people when they come on a show. Or saying dumb shit like, you're going to miss him. Oh, shut up. Shut up. Shut up. You lazy fuck. Oh, God, that's terrible. You got that. Like, I'll listen to like, like, like another person I like I cannot stand like that 90s early 2000s group of sports center anchors that everybody fawns over and then you go back and look at them like there's a whole documentary about Stuart Scott and yeah it's sad that he got cancer and died that's terrible and I'm sure he's a nice guy like I don't hate Stuart Scott but you're like hey did you remember when Stewart Scott used to say boo ya oh remember that like sure cool hey do you remember when Keith Olberman used to say they're not gonna get him yeah that was something one that was some funny shit. That was peak humor. I remember that time that, that, what's his name? Who's the other one? Dan Patrick. Remember what Dan Patrick used to say, the whiff? Like, I do, man. That shit was like, right out town, bye. Remember that? God, that was good shit. Those guys are legendary.

These people now can't hold their jocks. Rich Eisen falls into that category of just dudes who weren't actually good at something, but they got in at the right time and it's the perfect storm. So now they're held in high regard. But what you realize is that, They're no more interesting than anyone else. Like, they're no more talented than the dipshits that are on SportsCenter now. You know what SportsCenter is outside of the political shit that everybody gets all angry about? For the most part, it's just people saying hacky shit, saying wacky things, movie quotes, whatever. That's all this shit is.

And that's all it was when Rich Eisen was on there. And it's all it was when insert whatever dip shit that was on there that now, when they leave ESPN, they talk shit about ESPN like Dan Patrick. You ever listen to Dan Patrick's show? I know you don't. You know why I know you don't? It's boring. You might see clips of it. Like yesterday, you know, we played that clip. Actually, that wasn't even from a Dan Patrick interview with Barclay. But like, you'll see a clip. Like, who has ever sat down and been like, you know what I'm going to do today? I'm jonesing for a full episode of the Dan Patrick show. No one's doing that. Like, it's all these people. And it's brilliant. It's smart. This is what I wish I would have done when I got whacked at WIP. This was the biggest mistake I made. They're smart. Like, I don't like these people. I don't think they're interesting. But, like, they're smart. When I got fired at WIP. WIP, I should have got out in front of the podcast game, bang. Even though I was going to take a job in Houston, I should have gone bang, bang, bang,

podcast. Because I saw the numbers I was getting on Facebook when I would just do Facebook lives. There were a couple of things I did wrong. I was doing the Facebook lives, the live from Josh's couch, people were watching. It started out really hot because they wanted drama talk. And then eventually I started doing weird shit and people stop watching or less people watch. That's fine, right? What I should have done is fully embraced it.

But this was 12 years, 10 years ago. So 10 years ago, the podcast game isn't or wasn't what it is now, so I didn't know that. But what I should have done is jumped right in and started a podcast and just I could have kept all those people locked in for a long time and focused more, but I didn't do it. I fucked up and I never really got that audience back again, but I could have. I had a captive audience that was locked in on what I was doing. What these guys have done, which is smart, is they've ridden the whole I was on ESPN when people loved ESPN thing and they've carried it over. into other fields like Rich Eisen has this gig at NFL network and this radio show slash podcast or whatever that no one gives a fuck about and nobody watches. You know, Dan Patrick left and started his own radio show and I'm sure he's making lots of money from it, but he has zero impact.

No one's like, oh boy, do you hear what Dan Patrick did today because no one cares. All these guys that left are just kind of off in their own world, you know, doing whatever gimmick it is they're doing for whatever audience they have. But they were smart. they've ridden the whole vibe that they were on ESPN and every now and then you'll get like a little reunion where Rich Eisen talks to Dan Patrick about all the bad shit that ESPN's doing and then it gets them some hits and then it's on to the next one I hate this guy I don't know well he's educating him I have no idea everything's on a phone and on a device now oh god I hate one oh hey kids they used to write things with pencils oh dude you are the smarmiest fuck he may be the smarmiest like even people People like, I was watching a video the other day of Nick Wright going at it with this Pablo Toro. I also hate Pablo Tori with a passion, by the way. But Nick, I don't even hate. Like, I did at one point.

I think he hated me. He probably still does. And maybe he's justified in his hatred of me. I don't know. I said some bad shit that I shouldn't have said back in the day. But, you know, what are you going to do? But he, by the way, I also don't feel bad because he came to Houston trying to take my ass out when we're there. And I know he did.

So, like, that's how he is. Like, I get it. I understand it. But, like, I'm watching him. And I don't even find him. Like, I don't find him to be smarmy. And I find him to be very strange looking. Like, he looks like, like, a, like, a 70s cop.

Like, he looks like the cop in, like, the 70s drug movie. Like, he's, like, straight out of American gangster, right? Like, the hair is weird. Like, all that. But I don't find him smarmy. Like, and I think what he said, like, I think sometimes he says things. And I'm like, okay, that's at least interesting. Rich Eisen has never said anything I find interesting, ever.

Rich Eisen is wallpaper. He is an uninteresting, smarmy. I have another philosophy. I do not listen to sports opinions from people who wear like v-neck sweaters over dress shirts. That is like rule number one for me. I don't care about your sports take. If you're dressed like you're a banker or you're dressed like you're going to church, I'm not interested in what you fucking have to say. Put on a t-shirt, do a fucking show for normal people. You don't do a show for your rich Hollywood friends because you're just like, like Howard Stern, who are ultimately just trying to play grab ass with famous people because it makes you feel good about yourself. Oh, I hate this guy so much. Anyway, more to come.