The Josh Innes Show - Scott Boras AKA Dr. Suess

Episode Date: November 14, 2025

Scott Boras is Tarik Skubal's agent. He also likes to make Detroit related puns when talking about his client. Also, who the hell wants luke warm coffee? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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19 plus Ontario only. Please play responsibly. Concerned by your gambling or that if someone close, you call 1866-3-3-1-2-60 or visit comixonterio.ca. all right everybody welcome in it is all up in us trying to get my voice right my voice is sucked all day though so i'm going to do the best i can for you guys because i love you and i care about you god i got hot tea a little tea here yeah i've noticed i see when i really when i try to get into you know being myself that's when my voice kind of goes i can get by doing this but if i try to you know so if i let's just put it this way if i'm like hey guys it's all up in us i'm Josh, but if I go, hello everybody, it's all, hey, that wasn't bad. Well, when I do that, okay,

so what does that mean? What kind of issue am I dealing with here? Do I got the laryngitis? I don't know. It's a good question. But I've noticed this because I've started going to some more coffee places because Jilly likes to go. I don't understand how you can go to a coffee place and get like lukewarm coffee, and that's like the norm. Like I understand the idea of cold coffee and cold brew and iced coffee. Like, I'm not saying, like, I get that. But if you're going to get hot coffee, the coffee's got to be hot, right? Like, it can't be a scenario where it's like, hey, come in and you get lukewarm coffee.

Like, they give you the option on the coffee at this place. Actually, hold on. Let me play a couple commercials, and I'll get into this. You know what's better than the one big thing? Two big things. Exactly. The new iPhone 17 Pro on TELUS is five-year rate plan price lock. Yep, it's the most powerful iPhone ever, plus more peace of mind with your bill over five years.

This is big. Get the new iPhone 17 Pro at tellus.com slash iPhone 17 Pro on select plans. Conditions and exclusions apply. They give you the option at this place, and I forgot which one it was, but there's like this place Big Bee Coffee. That's very good. I like it a lot. I'm not a huge coffee guy, but they got good teas and stuff like that, and the coffee's good. I have nothing against it.

And I don't remember if it was Bigby coffee we went to or if it was some other coffee place or like Tim Hortons or wherever. But they give you the option to get like extra hot coffee or basically give you the option on the app to get hot coffee. Because Jilly got me this coffee the other day and right when I got it, I drank it. I'm like, it was a really good coffee. It was like a peppermint mocha type of thing. It tastes like a York peppermint patty. It was fantastic, right? but I drink it and it's lukewarm.

Like I feel like Larry David talking to Moka Joe, Moka Joe, this is cold coffee. And like I put my nose in it to prove that it's cold coffee. Like, is this a thing? It's like I don't drink a lot of coffee, so I don't know these things. I don't get hot drinks a lot unless I'm dealing with a throat issue. Like I'll drink hot tea like I'm doing now with some honey. I don't even know if that really helps or not, but it tastes good and I like it. But like, it's a legit question.

Is this a normal occurrence at coffee places? because I know very little about how things work, like the inner workings of coffee places. The extent of my coffee knowledge is going to Starbucks and getting a double-blended venti-moka-frappuccino. Gotta be double-blended, because if there's chunks of ice in it, I find it to be gross. But if it's double-blended, it's basically a milkshake, and it's fantastic. There was also a great place in Nashville, and there's some locations of it here as well, a couple of them. Oh, hell, what the hell is the name of my place? Well, and there was a place called Seven Brew in St. Louis that Jilly loved.

I wasn't really big on that, and they're opening one here. But then there's scooters. Scooters is really good. They have this delicious milkshake-type coffee thing that is just spectacular. That is an unpaid advertisement for scooters. And then it's great because you get into the drive-thru and you'll make your order. And the old girl will go, all right, scoot around to the first window. And I'm like, I will.

Thank you. That is pleasant. I will gladly scoot around. But is this like a thing that they do? Like, there's an option on the app. to get extra hot. So, like, I feel like coffee on its own should be hot enough to where you drink it. It's hot.

Like, it shouldn't be a situation where it's lukewarm or extra hot. Like, I think the idea of coffee, the baseline for coffee, should be that coffee is hot. Like, I understand that we've kind of innovated here in the last couple of, you know, decades or the last, really, the last decade or so, decade plus. And we're drinking cold coffees and cold brews and cold foams and venty mocha frapitos and all that. I'm well aware of all this. I know that the world has changed. But in my mind, the idea of coffee, like the baseline should be that it's hot enough to where if you try to drink it, you have to sip it.

Like, that's my rule on coffee. You should have to sip a coffee. It should not be warm enough where when you take that first sip, you can just start kind of pounding it. To me, that is too cold. Now, I do not know if that's the norm at this place or if it was just a lukewarm coffee that I got that day. However, when I look at this and I break down like the stuff on the app, it gives you the option for extra hot.

Well, I shouldn't have to get extra hot to just get hot coffee. The baseline for coffee should always be hot enough that you have to sip. That's the rule of coffee. Like right now I'm drinking this tea that I made in the kier here at the office and it's a good tea. And it started out piping hot. It's kind of cooled out because that's how it's going to work. You want it to be piping hot to start so it can gradually cool down. So when it gets to that good hot level, you know, that's when you're really hammering it.

I don't want to live in a world where you have to get extra hot coffee. Just make the coffee hot. But I've never really been a big coffee guy. Like I'd go to work with my dad sometimes when I was a kid and he'd make a cup of coffee when he was doing mornings. And he'd just put black coffee and sweet and low. That was my dad's coffee. So to me, that's what I knew about coffee. The extent of my coffee knowledge was that.

that you'd get black coffee and you put sweet and low in it. That was it. And really, because I never drank coffee outside of that, but I'd go to work with my dad and they'd be like, I want some coffee, do. So you get a coffee and you put sweetenough. So then when I became an adult and I just thought, hey, you're supposed to drink coffee. That's what it is. I didn't know about splendors or regular sugars or anything.

All I knew is that you were supposed to drink sweet and low in your black coffee. And that was the extent of it. Now you've had your whole world opened up to this incredible, world of like different flavored coffees and everything. They're basically not even coffee anymore. They're delicious treats. This morning I went to the Tim Hortons and I ordered a nice tea, you know, because I was fiend in for it. But then I also ordered some sort of cold brew just to try. I left it in the car on accident. So it's probably, you know, not good anymore. But like, I don't know. I just, I feel like, like you wouldn't go to a pizza place and be like, well, you can get your pizza hot or you can get an extra hot. Like you're like, no, just give me the baseline hot for the pizza. Now when you go to a pizza place, you would.

You have the option to get crispy, extra crispy. That's understood. Just like when you go to the chicken place, do you want the original recipe? You want the extra crispy. These are all understandable things. But, like, you wouldn't go to the ice cream store and they're like, well, we've got cold ice cream. And then we've got ice cream that's semi-melted. If you want extra cold, you have to put that in the comments.

So I just thought that was weird. It was a random observation I had. I'm sure you guys have your own things going on. but did you guys hear this audio yesterday? I know I'm kind of all over the place here, but I played this on the radio show yesterday. This is audio of Scott Boris, who is Terrick Scoobel's agent. Terrick Scoobel won back-to-back Cy Young Awards, and he will not be playing for the Tigers much longer. Maybe he plays half this season.

Maybe he plays all of the next season. Maybe he gets traded at the deadline, whatever. Maybe they trade him at the winter meetings. It's also very possible. but Scott Boris was being interviewed about Terrick Scoobel and my man used like 10 different wacky Detroit related puns to explain to people why Terrick Scoobel is worth what he's worth

and this guy's going to get like 400 something million dollars the tigers are never going to pay him that there's like five teams that would be willing to pay him that kind of money and by the way I would never pay under any circumstance any pitcher 400 something million dollars I would never pay a pitcher to be somebody who would go out and be like, hey, play once a week, maybe twice a week over the course of a baseball season. You appear in 30-something games. Why would I pay you the same amount of money?

I would pay Bryce Harper who's going to play in 150 or whatever. It's stupid to me. I'll never understand it. You can survive without those kind of guys, whatever. But this is Scott Boris using like bizarre, kind of wacky, Detroit-related puns and rhymes. like he's some weird sports agent Dr. Seuss. All we know is that the, look, the fans in Detroit want the tigers to build a tariff barrack.

There's number one. We want him to build a taric barrack. Very clever. This guy's worth billions of dollars. He signed dudes to contracts that are worth billions of dollars. And my man's first line out of the gate is they want them to build a taric barrack. They, you know, you know, leave. Little Caesar's running around town saying, sigh, sigh.

Now we're cooking. My man is now in his bag. It started as just, hey, I don't even think he planned to do this. Then he made one little pun. Like, if you go back to the beginning of it, when he makes the Tarrick-Barrick pun, there's a point in there when he kind of laughs at the end of it. All we know is that the fans in Detroit want the tigers to build a Terek-Berick, you know. And he's kind of laughing at himself.

And then at that moment he realizes, oh, I'm kind of. kind of on to something. Let Scotty cook. So it's a kind of thing where he's built a base. Obviously, everywhere they go, they know it's Scoobel Day. That's not as clever. It's like, yeah, it's Scoobled Day, whatever. So he's not cooking. He took a break from cooking, but there will be more cooking. He's like stewing on this right now. He's like, hmm, what else can I say to sell my client? They understand that that organization,

is substantially different if he's not there. And he's thinking. You know, when you're in these situations and you go through it, all we know is that we hear mostly from the fans and the player hears from the fans. And it's kind of like. He's like, listen, I need to start cooking again. I've kind of losing them here.

The crowd's turning on me. It should be Scooby done, right? Now we're back. We're locked in. Scooby done, baby. I'm locked and loaded. And if not, I think the fans would certainly think it's a Detroit doink if they don't. Oh, we're back. I'll approach you about an extension again at this point, or is that something that you're anticipating?

We talk a lot, and through the concourse of the off-season, we'll continue to discuss. Our point of view is we always listen. We're prepared to listen about anything. There you go. There's a, the best of, that's a full piece of audio there of Scott Boris, the agent for Terrick Scoobal, using wacky Detroit-related puns to sell you on why a team that's not going to spend $500 million on a quarterback, or a pitcher, should spend $500 million on a pitcher. All we know is that the, look, the fans in Detroit want the tigers to build a Terrick Barrick, you know. Terrick, bro. It's like the only thing that rhymed with Terrick.

Like, what else did you have there? All right, fine, now it's on. If he didn't pick up on the other one, the little C, that was a Little Cesar's reference when he said, Sigh, Sye, Scy. Little Cesar's running around town saying, Scy, Sye. Like, I think they would have been better had he been saying, like, Terrick, Terrick, or Scoobble, Scoobel. Although I get the joke because it's too Sye Young Awards, so I kind of get it.

Well played, actually, there. I kind of, like, it's lame as hell, but at least I understand what you meant. Little Cesar's running around town saying, sigh, sigh. And then, of course, Terik Scubel, his nickname is Scoob and his cleats when they do the whole My Cause My Cleets thing or whatever. They call it in baseball. He's known as Scoob. It should be Scooby done, right?

Scooby. Ladies and gentlemen, Scotty Don't. And then finally, the last singer. Certainly think it's a Detroit doink if they don't. Like, my man. And just think, that kind of clever guy has worked billion-dollar contracts for people. Like, how much is Scott Boris Worth? Like a billion dollars.

How much has he gotten his clients? A billion dollars. I wonder if he does that when he goes in and talks with these teams. He's like, hey, guys, listen, I'm going to sit down right now. and you better sign my client. I certainly think it's a Detroit doink if they don't. I wonder if that's how he doesn't. That's how he gets these deals done.

I don't know. Maybe it is how he gets these deals done. But, I know, there was random. We talked about that on the show a little bit yesterday about that. And I don't think anybody's going to, well, someone's going to pay him the money he wants. I mean, I just don't understand the idea of paying a starting pitcher, that kind of cash. And anyway, a lockout's coming anyhow, and then baseball's going to die. Look, I'm trying to be uplifting today on this Friday.

But, again, there's a lockout that's going to come. the fact that Terrick Scoobles, someone who can only be afforded by a handful of teams in baseball, that's a problem. And I get it, like a lot of people like that if you're a Dodgers fan, if you're a Phillies fan, if you're a, I don't know, a Cubs fan, like teams that have money, you dig it, I'm sure. You're fine with it. Although I do like when teams that also have a lot of money, talk shit about baseball teams like the Dodgers who spend a lot of money as well, but they won. So you'll see fans and other people like, oh, the Dodgers bought a championship. Like, do you think the Phillies don't spend money? Do you think the Cubs don't spend an F ton of money?

Obviously, they haven't built dream teams like the Dodgers have. And also a huge part of what the Dodgers are is Shohei. Like, he's a game changer. That's why he's won like five MVPs or whatever he's one because like he's the greatest player in baseball. So it helps to have him. Then you can just build people around him and any team that had him and was willing to spend money would probably be that. They just happen to pay for him and they've got him. But there's the idea that like baseball is going to have a work stoppage.

Baseball will then basically die. They will undo everything they've done over the last 30-something year since the strike in 94 and then baseball will just be out of sight, out of mind. And look, unfortunately, that's what has to happen because you can't have a league where five teams have a chance. And you can spare me on the brewers and all that stuff. Look, the brewers, congratulations to them.

They won a shitty division. You've done it, congrats. The brewers are not a long-term viable threat to the Dodgers. It's just not reality. Teams that can go out and buy talent and buy a ton of it are going to beat you. Like, it's cute. Congrats to the Brewers for building this nice little mid-market team that goes out and competes. You're not really a competitor.

You need to create a world like the NFL where you can see a team from Green Bay beat teams in L.A. And it's not shocking. And until you do that, you don't have a chance. You're just so great for your World Series ratings and it's cute. And Japan watched you and Canada watched you. But you need to fix that. don't baseball will die all right more to come