The Josh Innes Show - Snow Squalls

Episode Date: December 29, 2025

It is December in Michigan. Today I learned about snow squalls. You don't want to mess around with snow squalls. I'm envious of people in warmer climates... Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

All right, everybody. Welcome in, all up in this podcast. Sorry, I haven't been here for the last couple days. I've actually been hoarse. I get horse seemingly once every six weeks or something. And actually, it kind of had a negative impact on my actual work, too, because I wasn't doing the actual show because I was off, but I had a lot of these voice tracking gigs that we talked about that pay me a little bit each time. And your boy's got to go out there and do what your boy's got to do to make a couple of bucks. and I actually had to miss a couple of them because I could not talk Friday I was fucked three ways from Wednesday woke up Friday morning could not talk so the day after Christmas could not talk so anything above like a normal talking voice and I was fucked so I couldn't do anything with it but here we are glad to be there glad to hang out with you guys and and here we are I don't know how things are going where you are but first of all let's play a couple commercials. Oh, that's Ross. Don't mind Ross. He's just shaking it off a little bit. This poor dog's miserable as shit, by the way. We'll get into that. Let's play a couple of commercials and we'll

continue. So I've talked about how this town, Detroit, has to be among the leaders in seasonal depression, right? Like, we talked about this, I guess last week or two weeks ago, maybe it was, that Detroit has to be a place where people just suffer from seasonal depression more than most places, like on average, and then we searched it, and it turns out that seasonal depression has searched more in, like, Detroit, more than many, many other places, and I was right about that. As someone who is new to the area, and I want to be very clear, the people are wonderful. Spring and summer, fantastic.

Baseball weather was amazing. Only like a couple of weeks of it being balls hot. In the evening time, the weather is fantastic, and the summer, and you go for long-ass walks and life is fucking good. But the wintertime, which I am now just experiencing for the first time, the wintertime is an absolute nightmare. And I don't know that there's any other way to adequately break this down. Like the wintertime here is a nightmare.

Like today, for instance, I had to drive over to the radio station to, uh, to do some voice tracking stuff because jilly does her stuff from home so i needed to you know find some room to you know do it and i had some stuff that had to air in midday in new mexico and in utah so it's like all right i'll drive to the station she tells me that there's going to be these um snow squalls is what they're called snow squalls there are snow squall warnings she says i'm like what the fuck is a snow squaw squall i never heard of a snow squall. That sounds like nothing. Whatever. So I drive to the radio station. I'm doing my work. I notice it starts snowing outside at the time. It wasn't snowing. When I got there, when I was

driving to the station, it wasn't snowing. When I was at the station, it wasn't snowing. Then I look out the window after about an hour and it starts snowing. And I'm like, okay, it doesn't seem like much, whatever. I get a text from Jilly. She says, when are you coming home? I said, well, whenever I'm done doing this stuff. She says, you might want to find another route home because the highway or the interstate, whatever, is closed. I'm like, why is it closed? Because there was a snow squall.

And I'm like, all right, cool, what the fuck's a snow squaw? Well, the snow squaw, which is a, it's like a tornado and severe thunderstorm warning. These warnings provide critical, highly localized, life-saving information. If a snow squall warning is issued for your area, avoid or delay motor travel until the squall passes through. Well, apparently, one of these snow squalls just unloaded on the area for just a few minutes.

They don't last long, but they go. So what happens is this snow squall happens, and there's a 40 car accident on Interstate 75. a 40 car accident. So Jilly's like, you might want to find another route home. I'm like, all right, fine. So I type it into the GPS and to the Waze. For some reason, Waze just takes me right into the traffic. So what happens?

I end up stuck on the interstate in the snow. And by the way, it's still hammering snow. It's not windy. It's not like not going to solve the road or anything. but it's still snowing. And my windshield wipers are frozen for some reason, so I got little pieces of ice on them. So every time I try to, you know,

do the windshield wipers on the windshield, what ends up happening? Well, it ends up doing nothing because the glass, you know, like it's basically ice hitting glass, right? Cool. So I'm just stuck on the interstate. I find, like the GPS tells me

that I need to make this exit because the highway is going to be closed ahead. So I need to exit, go down this other way, make a U-turn. and kind of get on the interstate on the other side of this accident. Well, what the phone GPS doesn't know

is that once I do that, make the U-turn and get back, the on-ramp that takes you back onto the highway where they think you're supposed to be past the accident is closed as well because the accident spans for like another mile. So I have to go backwards. I have to get back on the interstate and go back where I came and take some other route to get home and I'm taking us back away.

Ultimately, it took me two and a half hours to go about five miles. So then I get home, I got a shovel and everything, and I get home, my dog's depressed. Back to Ross here. So Ross is without question, just depressed. I think the weather here has driven him to a point of depression. Because when we were, you know, killing it and walking for, you know, taking long-ass walks every day and walking for two hours at a time here, two hours at a time here, man was thriving, thriving, I say. Good mood. We're taking it to the streets. Oh, I just got home

from work. We're going to go walk for two and a half hours. Oh, now that we're done with that, we're going to spend the rest of the night walk. And again, this dog would walk for four to five hours a day. I would walk for four to five hours a day and felt good and felt healthy and didn't feel fat and feel terrible. Well, now, this poor bastard is without question going through a hardcore about a depression. He just lays around all day. He's miserable, and I feel bad for him. I do. There's no, like, I believe that dogs can go through some form of depression. I don't think that's like, you know, impossible for, for anything. I think dogs go through this kind of shit, and I think my man's going through it right now. I think that's what we're dealing with with this poor bastard.

Ross is depressed, and he's depressed because the weather, you talk about weather just taking a turn. It wasn't that long ago. This is the end of December. Early November, Halloween-ish. He and I walked for like five hours on Halloween day. On the day of Halloween, he and I went for like a three-and-a-half-hour walk. It was a little chilly, but very nice, and it was amazing. I brought him home.

Jilly and I went to the bar. I probably fell asleep at the bar because that's what I do now, and life was good. Fast forward six weeks. And if hell has snow, which who knows, maybe everybody, maybe everybody's kind of misguided on what hell is. A lot of people think hell is just, you know, it's fire and whatever. Maybe hell, because to me, I'd almost be okay with that. If hell were like setting me on fire, I think I may prefer that over snow squalls, 40 car pile up, shoveling snow, fucking salting the sidewalks, can't find salt that's dog-friendly, so got to go to various stores.

Got to trudge through the snow to get to the car. I think I, to me, hell is actually snow. And then what I do to really just drive myself to the point of insanity is I still watch all my barbecue videos, even though I don't have a smoker anymore. And they all are dudes that are either like in Tennessee or Texas, right? So I see one of the guys in Texas, this meat church, Matt Pittman.

I watch all of his videos. Like, I like it. Like, remember, when I was in St. Louis, my passion, my hobby, my desire was to be a pit master. Although on a much smaller scale than these guys, these guys use real wood and shit. I'm just a guy using a pellet grill, which might as well be an oven. Like, I get it. Like, I'm not some sort of special person when it comes to this shit. Fine.

Okay. So, I watch these videos. And I drive myself to the point of insanity. because my man's like, boy, it's a little bit chilly here in Waxahatchy, Texas today. Woke up this morning, it's about 45 or 50. It's a little chilly, a little colder than we're used to here. I'm like, listen here, motherfucker. It is 17 degrees.

The wind chill is damn near in the negatives. I'm out here shoveling fucking snow. There are snow squalls and 40 car fucking pile-ups, and I can't leave the house and my dog is depressed. Fuck you, Mr. Meat Church. You don't know, cold. You don't know misery, sir, you son of a bitch. And I watch these videos, and I'm like, holy shit, that man is living the life I want to live.

He's just, it's like, ooh, it's cold today in Waxahatchy, Texas. It's 50 degrees. I'm looking at the Houston weather. You know what tomorrow's high is? 54. You know what the high is? Actually, no, I take that back. Let's look at the 10-day forecast for Houston.

Just make us all fucking miserable. everybody else, you guys are probably fine. 56 is the high Tuesday, 66 Wednesday, 73 Thursday, 82 Friday, 73 Saturday, 72 Sunday, 78 Monday, my God, it's the perfect time of year in Houston. Like, I can't imagine that Alaska is much worse. Like, they say that Alaska's a depressing place because there are stretches where it's super dark all the time and it's snowy. like you feel like you're a prisoner to this shit.

The snow makes you a prisoner. And I guess if you've lived in this your whole life, it doesn't really impact. And I've lived in places with snow and I've had to shovel fucking snow. I had to shovel snow in Nashville and I had to shovel snow in Philadelphia. I lived a couple years as a kid in Montana,

but don't remember much about it. I've lived in St. Louis at snow. Like, I've lived in places that it has snowed. But this feels like this time of year and Detroit is like snow hell. If it snows in hell, that's what this is. And we had like a week or so after the rains came that knocked all the snow out and I could see grass. Granted, it was muddy, destroyed grass, but it was grass. And you could walk outside and not have to worry about putting on boots to walk outside. There was grass. Yesterday, it rained all day yesterday, which sucked,

whatever. But it rained all day yesterday, but it was like 50 degrees. And it was the most wonderful day ever. Massive downpours, tons of rain, but it was 50 degrees. And life was incredible. I woke up this morning. It was chilly, but it was still okay. Like, I was like, okay, this is bad. I took Ross for like an hour long walk. Life's good. I go to the station. By the time I walk out of this nation, it has snowed, and there are 40 car fucking pileups, and there are squalls, and it's just fucking hell. Wonderful town, wonderful vibes, wonderful people, although there are whiny people that bitch about fucking refs all the time and think the leagues out to get them. That could be another topic for another day. No one cares enough about your

fucking teams. I would tell that to anybody in any city. No one cares enough about your fucking teams for the refs to try to rig the game. Your team just fucking. fucking sucks. Another podcast for a different day. Maybe later today. I don't fucking know. This weather puts me in such a mood that I just want to shit on everything, which is not rare for me. I know, but. So then I like to make myself miserable and say, oh, look, it's like 72 degrees in Houston. Let's see what the Baton Rouge weather is. Baton Rouge weather. Let's see. Currently, it is 51 degrees in Baton Rouge. Let's see what the Nashville weather is. Nashville weather. It is, well, that's cold there. It's 33 degrees. But by, you know, Friday, it's going to be

57 and life will be fine. This shit happens for like five more months, by the way. They say, well, you know, it makes you tough living in a place. That's why Detroit's fucking tough. Look, you got to give credit to any professional athlete who's like, you know what? I'm just going to, I'm going to choose Detroit. Because again, Detroit's not a bad city. I think it gets a bad rep for a lot of other things but it's it's in misguided i think it's a cool place but to make a decision to be like especially if these are people that stay here to make the decision to live here in the wintertime i don't know that there's an amount of money where i'd go you know what that that's cool and then i don't have that amount of money i ain't got dick i'm sure that like dan campbell's got

some high school kid shoveling this fucking sidewalk or something got some sort of dudes that have like a landscaping company doing all of his fucking snowwork. My guess is that Dan Campbell ain't out there with a shovel shoveling this shit. But anyway, more to come.