The Josh Innes Show - Sodie Pops Are Killing People

Episode Date: October 9, 2025

I just saw a story about how soda, particularly diet sodas are causing liver disease. We can't have anything. But, I really don't care. I'll be drinking my diet cokes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Halloween is on Disney Plus. Hello. So you can feel a little fear. What's this? Well. Or a little more fear. I see dead people. Or a lot of fear.

Mom? Or you can get completely terrified. Who's that? Choose wisely. With Halloween on Disney Plus. us. Hello everybody. Welcome in, all up, Ennis. Good morning. Now, first things first, I woke up this morning, and the way my porch is set up at my house, it's a small little porch. I'm talking like, you make one false step and you fall off of it. Like, you walk up a couple of stairs and then,

like, you're talking three feet across, maybe, maybe a little bit more, four feet across. It is not a very wide porch. And it's also high. So if you have a misstep, you could fall off and, like, bust your ass and break your ankle or something. So it's kind of a setup like that, just to kind of give you an idea. And it's got a, if you want to call it a screen door, you can call it a screen door. But, you know, you open up the main door and then, oh, there's another door, you know, like a plate, like a little glass door. So this morning, I open up the main door and I look out, and again, this is a small porch we're talking about here. and there are is a trash panda a nasty ass raccoon just standing on my porch i'm like holy shit

what is this little asshole doing here i'm like shit i got to try to shoe him off then another son of a bitch shows up his buddy his running mate his partner in trash pandaing shows up and there's two raccoons big fat motherfuckers on the porch i mean they basically take up the whole porch and I'm trying to get them to go away so I'm like I'm banging on the glass and all that does is kind of like pisses them off and they both stand up on their back legs and put their front legs on the glass door and just start staring at me like Michael fucking Myers I'm like get the fuck lost why are you here this is not where you belong so I keep like kind of banging on the door and jillies in the other room stick what the fuck are you doing I'm trying to sleep here

I'm like there's two goddamn trash pandas on the porch And she's like oh my god I'm like it doesn't concern you go back to sleep You're not gonna help at all anyway Eventually the two of them just kind of scurried off And I'm like shit I guess I gotta make a run for it So I hurried up made a run for it I hear him over in the neighbor's yard in the garbage cans

Just rummaging through shit Little monsters Little nasty sons of bitches Get off my lawn And anyway, let's talk about some stuff after these words. TD Bank knows that running a small business is a journey, from startup to growing and managing your business. That's why they have a dedicated small business advice hub on their website to provide tips and insights on business banking to entrepreneurs. No matter the stage of business you're in, visit TD.com slash small business advice to find out more or to match with a Tee.

Small Business Banking Account Manager. So this headline reads, Sorry Soda Lovers. Less than one can a day could cause this health problem, says a new study. First of all, this headline is misleading because the first one I saw was the first time I clicked on it said, Sorry Diet Coke Lovers. A new study reveals some concerning health news. Well, here's the thing, fellas.

I'm pretty aware that Soda Pop. If I drink it, it's probably not all that good for me. That's a fair assumption, right? Like, nobody drinks soda and is like, hey, I fully anticipate this having nothing concerning me health-wise in the future. Like, you know it's shitty for you. You know it's bad for you, but you drink it anyway because it's delicious. Now, this initially got my attention because I am, in fact, a Diet Coke lover, particularly the Diet Coke at McDonald's, which is like crack.

And I don't know why it's so good. know what it is. I mean, a lot of people talk about the Coke being better at McDonald's, so it just makes sense that the Diet Coke would also be better at McDonald's. And the Diet Coke at McDonald's is fantastic. As the people on the Reels say, it's a crispy Diet Coke. That is a great description of it. You have a Diet Coke from McDonald's. It is a crispy Diet Coke. I don't know how to explain it. I don't know why it's so much better. I don't know what they do with the mix of like the soda and the syrup and all. I don't know what it is.

But like, if you go to Burger King, the Diet Coke isn't as good. You go to Culver's, the Diet Coke isn't as good. You go to Wendy's, the Diet Coke isn't as good. You go to McDonald's. It is the greatest treat you're ever going to get is a crispy, delicious diet Coke. And honestly, the Coke is really addicting to. But since I'm on the Manjaro, oh, I forgot to take my Manjaro shot today. Shit!

I've lost like 27 pounds on this shit. And I'm over here forgetting to take my man. my shot on Thursday. What am I doing? But the Manjaro kind of impacts the type of sweet stuff. Like, that's how it's impacted me. I eat very little sweet. So, like, the other day, I had a cookie and I felt like shit. So I very rarely eat sweet things since I'm on the Manjaro. But I love Diet Coke. But let's get into this story. Sorry soda lovers, less than one can a day could cause this health problem. The other problem I run into is I drink two large Diet Cokes every day. Usually for lunch, I'll go through McDonald's because, well, here's the thing

McDonald's does. So McDonald's, if you use the app, McDonald's will give you this option to get like a free fry with any soda purchase, and I'm like, sure, why not? So basically every day I have at least one, you know, large Diet Coke and a medium fry. And I've somehow lost 30 pounds doing that. It's a pretty solid diet. You should try it. Also, you should probably try getting a g lp1 to mix with that because i'm going to guess that had more to do with the weight loss than drinking one large diet coke and a medium fry every day but let's see uh what health problems we have that are concerning uh let's see you might want to skip your afternoon soda no i might not i really like my fucking diet coke even moderate amounts of artificially

sweetened and sugary drinks are both associated with an increased risk of liver disease according to a study. You know what else is? Drinking 30 beers every weekend, but I do that as well. Listen, I'm going to die at some point. We're all going to die at some point. So are you going to die doing things you enjoy and die at like 70-something,

or do you want to live to like 99 and be like, boy, you know what I had tofu every day? Tofu and water. Celery and water every day. And boy, let me tell you, I did some living, and I ate clean and I didn't drink sooty pops, and I didn't have beer, and I'm 100 years old. Well, what did you do?

for fun. Literally nothing. I sat around and counted the days that I stayed alive. That's what I did for fun. Well, what did you do for fun whenever you were drinking sodas and whatever? Oh, I drank shitloads of beer and soda pop, but I live to be 75 and I'm okay with that. I'd still have 30-some-odd years left on the earth. So why the fuck not? As little as nine ounces of sugary drink per day raises the risk of metabolic dysfunction associated with statotic liver disease or M-A-S-L-L-D by 50. While the same amount of a single diet soda could raise the risk by 60%. This disease is known as non-alcoholic fatty liver disease is a condition where fat accumulates in the liver and is the most common global form of liver disease.

The damage can lead to severe liver scarring or cirrhosis similar to the effects of heavy alcohol use. Why is everything I love going? Like, why is everything I love bad? It's all bullshit is what it is. How about you just let us all live our lives? Our study shows that low or non-sugar-sweetened beverages were actually linked to a higher risk of M-A-S-L-D, even at modest intake levels such as a single can per day. So there you go. You got to go tell all the liberal people that this stuff is for.

Well, here's what's going to happen. Trump has to tell them that Diet Coke is bad for them, and they will all mainline Diet Coke. That'll be the key in this. If you want liberal people to do something, just tell you. them Trump is in favor of it. And then just they'll do the opposite or whatever I'm trying to say here. So like if Trump says, hey, Diet Coke is really bad for you. Don't drink Diet Coke.

The liberal people while they're popping Tylenol, will just chomp on Tylenol and guzzle Diet Coke and post videos of it just to show, just to show you, Trump. But it is true that all the shit you love kills you. And then all the shit you love gets taxed. Like there was a story in Michigan that they're putting a higher. tax now between dispensaries and the people that grow the pot, you know, the people that get them the pot and the dispensaries. There's a tax that's going up because they want to use that tax to fix the roads. So it's going to impact the sales. That's the negative effect is it's probably

going to impact the sales of legal marijuana and do dispensaries, and people are just going to go to the source themselves. That's going to hurt these dispensaries. But that's what they do. They tax all the shit you love. They tax the sugary drinks. They tax the alcohol. They tax the the marijuana. They tax all this shit. And then you know what happens? The roads don't get fixed. I guarantee you when they put this tax on this shit,

we're not going to see fixed roads in Michigan. But you hear that all the time is, well, we're going to fix the roads with this money. Bullshit, you ain't fixing shit. But that's what these politicians do because they're weasels, they're scumbags, this wacky, Botox-faced Gretchen Whitmer here in Michigan. Oh, yeah, we're going to use this money to fix the roads.

Are we now? Well, then fix the roads. I feel like every state always says they're fixing the roads. Then you go to these states and the roads still suck. Why is that? Let me figure that out. Why is it that every state's trying to fix the roads and every state has some great solution to fixing the roads? Some tax that's going to fix the roads.

And then the roads are never fixed because for 10 years from now, they'll still be trying to fix the roads. They'll still be running on, we need to fix the roads. But back to the Diet Coke. So even less than eight ounces a day, I drink two of the large drinks for, McDonald's every day. What is that? Like 60-something ounces? Do I drink a gallon?

I drink a gallon of this shit every day. But it's tasty. Like, that's the decision you have to make in life. You know, there's an opportunity cost. The opportunity cost for continuing to drink Diet Coke is I may develop this diet Coke-related cirrhosis. Like, it used to be you drink too much alcohol, you get cirrhosis. If you were a deadbeat loser alcoholic, if you were, you know, shooter in

in Hoosiers, you know, and you stumble into your kids' game all hammered and fall through a glass window. Like, that would be the people that got cirrhosis. Now the people that get cirrhosis are those who drink a crispy diet Coke at lunch. But how do I stop? It's so tasty. And then Donald Trump, he's out here drinking like 40 of them a day. What do you think Donald Trump's liver looks like?

Now, keep in mind, Trump allegedly drinks no alcohol. Like, that's kind of his thing. It's like he's never been an alcohol drinker. so if he has cirrhosis you know it's from you know too much diet coke my man's got a diet coke button man just hits a button in the oval office diet coke shows up fucking jeeve shows up with a crispy diet coke and i bet his diet coke is the best like i choose to believe that trump doesn't have to like go to croger to get like a 12 pack like he doesn't send some guy out and he's like hey can you pop into the croaker like i choose to believe that coca cola just sends

Trump like the freshest cola because I would have look if you're the president you would think you would get that kind of treatment right you would get the freshest most delicious Coca-Cola's and diet colas but I guess that goes to the other point about how drinking uh you know like a real sugar like cane sugar sodas like if you drank the uh the Dublin Dr. Pepper I would imagine that's better for you than having the artificial sweeteners you ever had Dublin Dr. Pepper That's the shit That's that one that's out there in Texas The real Dr. Pepper

Fuck, it's good, man A Mexican Coke, that's the shit That's the only Illegals we're going to let him We're going to let in Mexican Coke We're not going to put any Mexicans That's right We're going to get rid of them all

We're going to get ice I like to put ice in my cola We're going to take diet cola We're going to make real Mexican sugar cola And it's going to be incredible We won't wait Ice don't deport the Mexican Coke. We're going to keep it.

We're going to keep Taco Bell and Kudopa. Kudoba's going to stay. We're going to put on Kidoba. And Moes, Southwest Grill. Moes is going to stay because Moes is delicious. And Mexican Coke. The rest of them are going to go. All right. Anyway, so don't drink Diet Coke, allegedly, which is sad because Diet Coke is delicious and I love it so much. But don't drink it because apparently you're going to get cirrhosis.

Now, what if you drink like fucking 30 beers a day and drink two sodas a day? shit my liver's going to be black by the time I'm in my mid 40s my liver is going to just be like the blackest eyes like a doll's eyes it's going to be dark as shit anyway more to come