The Josh Innes Show - Sunday Beers and Bets

Episode Date: September 30, 2024

Back by popular demand, we are betting and drinking and podcasting. We've got Saints heartbreak. We've got Texans joy. We've got big betting wins and crushing losses. It's all in real time. The Astros are playing afternoon playoff baseball and people are pissed. Also, we are drunk. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The following was recorded from inside an ice plunge. Ah! Woo! Okay. All right. When a Coors Light is cold enough, the mountains on the can turn blue. So the next time you want a cold lager, cold filter, cold package Coors Light, just wait until those glorious mountains on the can turn blue.

It's easy to say that fast when you're freezing gold. Spring is here, and you can now get almost anything you need delivered with Uber Eats. What do we mean by almost? You can't get a well-groomed lawn delivered, but you can get chicken parmesan delivered. Sunshine? No. Some wine? Yes.

Get almost, almost anything delivered with Uber Eats. Order now. Alcohol and select markets. See app for details. All right, everybody. Sunday drinking time Eats. Order now. Alcohol in select markets. See app for details. All right, everybody. Sunday drinking time. Go, Alvin, go.

We're off to a late start, at least in recording. We got home from putting our bets in right when the game started and got a lot of bets going on throughout the day. But, hey, look, Jamar Chase has a 63-yard touchdown. Mark that one off on the prop T you drop. I said his longest would be over like 26 and a half. Boom. Texans just took the lead in their game. The Eagles are just getting pecker slapped by Baker,

which I think we said would happen based on the fact the Eagles are missing a lot of players and Jalen Hurts is garbage and Nick Sirianni's a dipshit. It's not totally shocking that they're getting their dicks knocked off right now either. The Saints, who are watching now, the Saints have literally given the fucking game to the goddamn Falcons. Idiot fucking Shaheed's trying to feel the punt at the two-yard line, drops it, it goes into the end zone, touchdown Atlanta. And then Derek Carr just threw a pick six, which apparently is the third time he's thrown a pick six in his career against the Falcons. You played in the AFC West most of your career.

How many times did you play the Falcons to throw three pick sixes? I guess you played twice last year. But still, fucking Saints, should have beaten that shitty Eagles team last week if the center doesn't get hurt. And then this week, they've given 14 points given 14 goddamn points to the falcons jesus so um got some i got a lot of action going with passing yards and a lot of these early games too um i forgot my card when

i went to put in the bets so i didn't have my card with me to see which ones I took. But I got a lot of shit going on. We haven't even started drinking yet. We do. We're going to start drinking here in a little bit. You'll hear this throughout the day, obviously, as we did last time that we did this. Last night, LSU scored like seven touchdowns, so we did a shot every time LSU scored a touchdown. So, like, sometime after the LSU game ended and, during doing this podcast last night that if I'm being honest with you I don't remember doing most of it and then I like I opened the computer today

to put this shit in and I and it was still open the the the uh the audio was still open so I click on this I'm like what is Saturday drunk fest and I hit this and I hear fucking AL West fucking sucks anyway. And these Astros fans are fucking morons. I'm like, I don't remember this. But so there was that. So that was a special gift for all of us. And now we're back at it again today. But that fucking tequila, those tequila shots during the LSU game where they scored six

touchdowns. Then we had to do a shot for jelly hitting that miracle parlay she hit last night. You made me you made us do another one because we did the shot for that parlay when we thought it initially hit and then we realized that there wasn't the Carson Beck rushing yards anymore and then when we when he got them he said we got to do them again. So we did like two

shots for that parlay. So needless to say we had a lot of tequila last night and I probably drank like eight or nine fucking bushlights over the course of the LSU game. So it hit me hard. Like I was watching my man Noah Fafita try to throw for his yards, which he did not do last night. That was my biggest bet of the day. And the son of a bitch let me down.

But yeah, so we're going to get the alcohol going here. We'll keep checking in. We'll let you know how some of the bets are going at halftime uh and if you listen to this last time to the sunday football drinking party drinking and gambling party i don't have a name for it yet we'll come up with it but um it gets wild as it goes along so we will keep checking in all right it's uh nearly halftime of the texans game there's a minute to go texans having it about uh the plus 49 i don't know who the fuck is it is calling this game it might do one of the McCourty's call games it might be one of the uh one of the

twin fellas um I have a I have a thing here I don't know what you want to call it I don't know if it's like there's another Texans flag by the way the Texans commit too many goddamn penalties on offense you keep shooting yourselves in the dick assuming that's a penalty on the Texans commit too many goddamn penalties on offense you keep shooting yourselves in the dick assuming that's a penalty on the Texans here which I'm going to guess it is because they only get penalized because they're fucking imbeciles on the line but anyway I digress um the um if you are an announcer and you are paid to broadcast games and you say field gold, you should be yanked like, like a hook, bring the hook out and they should yank you off of the broadcast. Like you're being yanked off of vaudeville stage. You should not be allowed to broadcast games. If you say field gold,

like, I don't care if you mispronounce certain things, like, or there's a malapropism in there. Like, like a malaprops, like I get that people like, just like in certain places, they pronounce things different. Like if you're here in St. Louis, there's a lot of people here that say wash and pronounce it warsh. I don't care about your dialect or how, like, you know, certain things you say, but there is gold and there is goal. It is not a field gold. It is a field goal. How difficult is this? Also, Nico's been a fucking beast so far today. Green Bay is terrible. And he Jordan loved to throw for a lot more yards, Minnesota. Are they good? I don't fucking know, but Sam Darnold's out here dicing people up. Hey, at least Jordan loves up to 94

yards. That's a positive because we took his passing yards for that game, and he has no choice but to throw. Also, can we finally acknowledge that Bryce Young actually just fucking sucked? Like, everybody tried to make it into this big thing, like Carolina's a train wreck, and they've ruined poor Bryce Young. No, he's a shrimp, and he sucks. Like, I'm not telling you that Andy Dalton's going to win 10 games for him, but two games, they've already been far more productive offensively with him.

They won one of them, and they're tied 14-14 in this game they're playing today. Everybody, like, for whatever reason, people just wanted to sit around and feel sorry for Bryce Young like he's been mistreated. Maybe he just sucks. Oh, but Josh, what about, you know, if he went to Houston with all the talent that cj stroud has around him he would have been fine no he wouldn't have cj stroud is legitimately a good nfl quarterback with tremendous upside still bryce young got hyped up because he played at fucking alabama

he's like four and a half feet tall he's a string bean and he sucks thank you and imagine i haven't even started drinking yet. All right, it's damn near halftime of every game. Still haven't cracked a beer yet, but it's coming. It's coming. Got a text from my friend Tance who lives in New Orleans. He took a picture, he's at a bar watching the Saints game and he goes, you guys should move here.

And I said, why? So I could watch the miserable fucking football team with other assholes who root for this shitty football team and be miserable. Actually, it's a really good idea. I want to be miserable with other people who are also miserable because God, I hate them so much. And I hate Derek Carr so much. Jelly, do you need anything here in this last 23 seconds of this Jets first half? I really need a Brees Hall touchdown, but I'm not feeling good about it.

Considering, you know, they were on one-yard line before and nothing happened. So, yeah, not feeling confident. If you guys are wondering, I also have the field goal bet, but it's looking highly unlikely that every team is going to make a field goal. Look at A-Rodge going for a yard. Yeah, your foot's going to explode, Broham. I'm still pissed watching this Eagles game. Cause the saints, my shitty team should have beaten these losers last week.

This, if the goddamn center doesn't get hurt, we win that game. And you can tell me all your bullshit about all the players that you didn't have in that game too. Well, tough shit. Who's wait, who scored the Eagles touchdown? Really? They, how did they, the fuck did the Eagles do to score? One yard touchdown pass.

Why would you throw it on a fourth and one from the one? Dude, look, I guess it worked. Sirianni's a stooge. And he's. Paris Campbell. Paris Campbell scored, huh? I'll be damned. I didn't see that.

I thought it was Paris. Son of a bitch. Well, this game is dreadful. Dreadful, dreadful, dreadful, this Jets game. I do need the Jets to win as part of a parlay just with money lines. I need the Bengals to win. I need the Jets to win. I need the Texans to win.

I think those are the ones in the early games. So we shall see. But, oof, this game's hideous. I get that it's raining and all but this is just gross denver stinks jets ain't doing a damn thing but yeah back to the eagles you can tell me all you want to tell me about you know all your guys that were hurt and shit saints lose their center on like the second play of the game and derrick carr turns back into a pumpkin after that and the son of a bitch is still a pumpkin i'm watching this game today and it's just like same old shit we saw last year from this asshole always looking

like it's somebody else's fault always looking all sad oh you're not grabbing your fucking dick today are you you're not doing your little michael jackson dances today are you you're fucking dope god damn it to hell i tell you what aaron ro you suck too. Everybody talks about how good you are. Basically, the people who hate you are because of your politics. The people who like you are because of your politics. You're a doof. Why are we running here? I guess they have a timeout.

Why even run a play? Should have just called a timeout with five seconds if you were going to do that. Why waste time running another play? And by waste time, I don't mean game time. I mean our time, our valuable time. Wait, do the Packers have the ball in an end goal situation here? Oh, that's good. So Jordan Love needs some yards.

He needs to pass for some yards for me. And they're down 28-0, so I don't know what other option he has. But neither one of those teams are going to kick a field goal for me. So the field goal bet's going to die we're off to we're not off to a terrible start to be fair with our our bets and shit i'm not at least but i the field goal thing which if it ever hits will be the biggest hit there is i don't know what to tell you i don't know how the hell they get the ball all the way down there without throwing it around They must have dropped a punt. There's been some punts that have been dropped in these games. The Texans did it.

The Saints, that embarrassment of a football team. They've done it. I tell you. As my dad would say, I tell you what. Yes. Anyway, it's halftime at most of these games. Let's see if this Jets dingus will make this kick to go up 6-0. The answer is yes, he did.

So I need the Jets to win. I know you got your own problems. It's about time to crack open some beer. I think I'm finally not drunk from last night. I'm pretty positive that up until about 40 minutes ago, I was still drunk. Now I feel like I've got clear mind, clear eyes, full heart, can't lose, or whatever that shit is from that football TV show. More after this.

All right, Texans just got a big sack, and they're going to get Jacksonville off the field. Jacksonville did them a huge favor. Really, the refs did the Texans a big favor, which rarely happens because the Texans are flagged for everything because they are horrifically stupid as it relates to committing penalties. It's really comical. But so NFLSU, all right, makes the catch. By the way, I said, yeah, I just, okay, Brian Thomas Jr. So Brian Thomas Jr. makes the catch, which was 19 yards. I needed his longest catch to be over 19 and a half. So I needed a 20 yard goddamn catch and it didn't happen, but he gets

up and does the first downside. And the fucking refs are like, Oh no, bro, that's taunting. Or it's an unsportsmanlike literally everybody in the world on the, every player out there does that thing with the two things. Like it's not like he was shooting a gun or something my god these fucking refs man so that killed that drive for Jacksonville which is good because I want the Texans to win and the Texans are part of my shit uh as part of my money line parlay so super duper but like what are we doing that is a terrible call it cost them 15 yards they move backwards and then it probably cost them at least some points there, which, again, not upset about that in theory or just overall because, hey, the Texans benefit from it.

They're getting the ball back. CJ's only like 40 yards from it in his passing yards. By the way, speaking of passing yardage overs, I played Baker Mayfield today to throw for yards. Baker Mayfield hit his over in the first half against the shitty Eagles, but the Eagles are now making a little run. They've cut it to 10. What did we take for Lazard? Three catches? That was

an option, but I think I took Lazard for a touchdown. He's already got three catches. What was your card? Did you write that down on your card? You had him? I didn't take it. That was there. Oh, no, I did. I wrote that down. your card? You had him? Oh, but that was there. Oh, no, I did.

I wrote that down. So I did have Alan Lazard over two and a half catches and a touchdown as well. So I've hit Jamar for basically the ones on the card from the pod. We've already hit Jamar Chase for his long touchdown. He had a 60-something yard touchdown. Alan Lazard over two and a half catches. Kyle Pitts ain't doing a damn thing, which I guess I'm fine with because it helps the Saints although the Saints are dog shit so it doesn't really matter um Justin Jefferson does not have a long catch of over 26 and a half which is really shocking when

you think about it because they have 28 points they've dismantled these guys yet there isn't a long play from Justin Jefferson Brian Thomas., over 19 and a damn half, and he's got 19 for his longest catch. You talk about a punch to the dick. Oh, boy. And let's see. Jonathan Taylor has scored. Pat Fryermuth needs one more catch so those two could hit.

What has Kyron Williams done? I took him over 18 and a half receiving yards. What's he up to? My boy is having to throw for a lot of yards today in a game that's close. I still have Hurts to throw an interception and Saquon to score a Tud, which neither has happened yet. I need him to have 18.5 receiving yards. Let's see.

He's got five receiving yards. Okay, make one or two big plays and you'll hit that uh and then the rest i guess is afternoon stuff so the card's not doing too bad so far light them up all right let's go saints all right they're holding them to field goal coup is gonna make that though uh the beers are flowing life is good football's happening let's go well here's a situation where i'm conflicted because Brian Thomas Jr. of NFLSU just made like a 30-something yard catch, which would hit his longest catch for the day easily. He's already had a 19-yarder, so he was half a yard short.

This one, if it stands, will be it. Now, they're challenging. Jilly says, no way it's a catch. I think because they called it a catch. I have no fucking clue what a catch is. No one does in the NFL. It's better than it used to be,, I have no fucking clue what a catch is. No one does in the NFL. It's better than it used to be, but there's still no clue what a catch is and what isn't a catch.

But I think this is going to hold up. And for whatever reason, because he did make a move, he was tackled, and when he hit the ground, the ball came out. I think they're going to hold on. I think that's going to be a catch, which really, on one hand, is helpful for the longest catch. This Texan secondary can get torched. They've been doing all day is throwing these deep balls. This game reminds

me a lot of what the Colts did. Let's see what the call on the field call stands. Told you. So it's still the big catch. So if anybody played that over, I gave you that. Look, I'm making you rich for free. Um, and they lose a timeout of course, but, uh, now let's keep them out of the end zone. God, like the tech, like what's fascinating about the Texans is like, I do think they're good. Like Jilly and I were sitting there like, do they actually suck?

What's going on? They don't suck, but are they actually really good or are they just kind of, huh? But they do so much dumb shit. The penalties are inexcusable, many of them pre-snap penalties. Then you throw in, like, the inability to stop deep balls. Trevor Lawrence has been bad all year. They're wide open on a lot of these deep balls. They're just crushing them.

And now Brian Thomas again runs and a reverse runs for 12 yards. Now I'm worried. I wasn't worried about this game. I'm getting more worried now. I told you guys, though, Brian Thomas Jr., I take him every week. Never lets me down. Nope. He's balling.

So now T-Law and the boys are driving towards the end zone. Tampa is now up 14. Was there a safety? I guess they got a safety because it was 28. No, wait. And now the Eagles have scored. It was 24. Oh, okay.

It was 24 to 14. My bad. So now it's 24. So there was a safety. No, they went for two. I don't know. I'm all over the place. There's games everywhere.

I need Andy Dalton to throw for some more yards. I need Cincinnati, though, to win. So I'm kind of in an ideal spot there. What are the Saints doing? They were driving. Can they try not to fuck things up? Are gonna fuck things up they fucked things up they kicked a goddamn field goal which helps in the field goal bet but no one I'm not gonna hit the field goal bet anyway fucking Saints I tell you man like two weeks ago we were going to the Super Bowl

we're not going to the Super Bowl anymore guys I don't want to break it to you if you're a fan. We are no longer going to the Super Bowl. Painful is what it is. Anyway, so these games are at least a good number of them are going to be dramatic down the wire. I got a bush latte. What the hell are you drinking, Jilly? My Lagunitas Crisp Session IPA. Crisp Session IPA. So we're good to go there. We're rocking and rolling and whatnot. Looks like it's finally getting cloudy out here again, which is good news because it was hot and sunny. Not hot, but it was sunny.

More of a pain in the ass to sit outside in the damn sun watching the game, but it looks like it's clouding up again. I'm about to throw a chuck roast on the smoker. I'm way late doing that today, so this chuck roast probably won't even be done until Tuesday at this rate, but we're having a good time. We're drinking, make a stop on third down Texans. God damn it. That's a, that's a goddamn touchdown. Son of a bitch. Son of, now go down and fucking score, figure it out. You guys have really been pissing me off lately. This offense, if we're being fair, the the offense the last three weeks really been sketch

it's been better today but it was not good against the bears downright pathetic last week against minnesota and now it's kind of ho-hum today figure this shit out what are we doing here texans fucking right texans with a big goal line stand let's's fucking go. Pull your heads out of your dicks and let's play some ball. Fucking 84 yards, or sorry, 24 yards of offense in the damn third quarter. Let's go. You got this thing. Let's go. Boy, I'm fine with that decision if I'm Jacksonville.

You want to try to go up 10? I'm fine with that. I mean, there's a difference between six and three, but there's a huge difference between 10 and anything else boom all right basically nico collins should win mvp this dude's got like 110 yards today and he's killing it let's go get something here um so that's going on the saints are driving um i mean what do i do i might have to go split screen here soon thanks youtube, YouTube. You rule for that. Let's see.

The Saints, they're going to stall more than likely. That's what they do. They've caught a major break. There was a holding penalty on a touchdown that took that off the board for the Falcons. God, this is just like watching the goddamn Saints from last year. The first two games, it was like watching Drew Brees. And the last two games, it's the same shit that happened last year stalling it like the 30 yard line kick and field goals and you know tasem had two tuds early life was good then he goes out listen tasem i like you i never bet against the mormons you know that but if you can't stay on the field like seems to always

be the case because your big ass is always hurt you're worthless to me and you do nothing for me and you're tacky and I hate you. Now there's another third down that they're not going to convert. Then I got to go back to the Texans here in a second. So go ahead and don't convert it. Kick along field goal. There's the play and they converted it. You see what I do there? It's reverse psychology. You got to tell them they're going to fail, then they'll succeed. I'd be a great fucking parent because that would be my strategy. I would tell my kids they're losers, and then they can go out and be winners. Cam Akers just made a big play too. Boy, if Cam Akers could go out and score a touchdown for me, life would be real good.

Jelly's still waiting on a Brees Hall touchdown. Texans are driving. I'll get an update on some of the bets here in a little bit, see how we're doing. I love that Texans hoodie with the H on it. It's gorgeous. I want one. Although these uniforms look like the old Falcons.

Basically, the Texans currently look like the 2000s Falcons, and the Falcons today look like, you know, the Falcons of the 1980s and the Dion era. So they should make that their uniform all the time. Oh, boy. The Bears, they scored again huh but my boy matt stafford needs to go out there and do some throwing he's almost at his number so a lot of the passing yardage guys still have a shot and need andy dalton to get going did a lava did he catch a tide is that a tide no he's out of bounds oh Oh, God damn it. God damn it.

Oh, come on, Saints. Let's go. Oh, boy, I tell you what. Once I start chug-a-lugging this beer, life's going to be better. I hate to sound like that kind of guy. It makes me sound like I'm a lush. I'm some sort of degen, but I am a degen. Let's be honest.

Come on, Alvin. Go, Alvin! Go! Inside the 10. I told you, this team's got a shot to win it all. I try to tell you that. A shot to win the whole damn thing until they don't score here, and then they don't have a shot to win the whole thing. But this is a must-win. This is an absolute must-win for these guys because they play the Chiefs next week, which depending on how the bets go, maybe we'll go to that game next week. They're in Kansas City. Monday night football.

So we'll see. There's another flag. Let's see what that is. Also, I'm annoyed by Derek Carr when he hands the ball off, puts his hand up like it's going to be a touchdown every time. You're a doof. Your eyes look stupid, and you suck. But throw for 205 yards, please.

Do it for me. Back to the Texans. Oh, a second and 20. I tell you, I need them to win for the parlay. I did one parlay of just straight up money lines. Texans are one of them. The Colts, I think that homeboys hurt. The Flacky.

And another Texans penalty. Another goddamn penalty is going to take 15 yards off the board. This is comical. This is comical what these guys are doing. I saw Lance Zerline say something about Tunsell last week about how he's a selfish player because he's trying to make sure he doesn't get beat, so he's trying to guess the snap count.

And that's why he gets called for all these false starts. I don't know if this is on Tunsil or not, but another goddamn penalty here. Dude, look at the look on D'Amico's face. He wants to punch these morons. What are we doing? You damn stooges, man. Joe Flacco's throwing for $1.45.

He's only played like a quarter and a half. He's my boy. Last year, he hit some big ones. All right, back to the Saints. Back to the beer. Oh, shit. There's so much going on here. Look at Alvin.

What did I tell you about his receiving? He had like six catches. Told you. They'd love to check down to him. All right, punch it in. Go, Alvin. Oh, shit. And, oh, jeez.

Yep. Worst football game ever. The Broncos have now taken the lead. God damn it. God damn it! God damn it! Look, if the Jets fucking lose to the Broncos at home, Rodgers should retire. You know what?

Rodgers should be forced to vote for Kamala. If he loses to the Broncos, he should be forced to vote for Kamala. You know how my day's going? So again, the Brees Hall thing. You know it's bad when the guy you played has less rushing yards than Aaron Rod rogers breeze has four aaron has 16 oh god and i need the jets to win for my play come on dare oh derrick oh derrick and another incompletion my god my god

you're at the five yard line i gotta got to go back to the Texans. They're probably on like third and 47 after another penalty, if I had to guess. I tell you this. I mean, this is in this. I'm enraged. Third and 18. Carolina's making it a game. I need my boy, the Red Rooster, to throw for some yards, though.

Red Rooster. I had Joe Burrow, two passing tuds on my card, I think. Well, that's good. Hey, let's go. Let's throw for 18 yards here, boys. You stopped them at the one-yard line, and now you're going to give them the ball back. Come on, CJ.

Probably not going to get it done. It's going to get it done. Go! Go! Go, you son of a bitch! Go! Third and 18. We're picking up like 30 some odd let's go all right back to the saints which will be far less enjoyable if i had to guess somehow the

saints are going to settle for a field goal here if i had to there's four minutes up yep they lost yards that wasn't predictable at all that you were going to fucking give it to kamara there so now it's fourth down oh they're going to kick a field goal they were going to fucking give it to Kamara there. So now it's fourth down. Oh, they're going to kick a field goal. They're going to do it. Nope, they're going for it. Well, here's ball game for these shitheads. Six-minute goddamn drive that's going to end in no points, old-school Saints style with this dickheaded quarterback.

They lost yards on that last play. Jesus Christ, what are we going to do? Now there's a timeout. I tell you, we should have won that game last week. We should win this. We gave them 14 points. Back to the Texans who still have a shot here. Let's get a Cam Akers touchdown.

I'm all over the place. Then the Jets are, what are we doing with the world? Green Bay still down 21, but if Jordan Love keeps throwing for yards, I got a shot to hit that at least. Oh, son of a bitch. This is only beer one. I got to just bring the cooler over here. It's too damn hot to sit outside today.

All right, come on, guys. Second and 10. Let's do something here. This is how all football broadcasts should be. We don't need real play-by-play. We need drunks sitting around yelling at the TV. Run, CJ! Run! First, close.

Gotta know where the sticks are, bud. Oh, Jordan Love's already at 187. Oh, there's a goddamn flag! They're gonna call a goddamn hold. God damn it! This is bull... God damn you, Tunsil! Someone take him out back and put him down put him down i mean i know it's a long play there and like you gotta block forever

but like you false start you fucking hold like you're worthless my god dude like someone's got to take like i love domico someone's got to call this motherfucker out because your team is the third most penalized team in the goddamn league and you've had 11 false starts which is the most in the league thanks cbs oh shit let's see if the saints end up scoring give me some joy give me some joy so i watch them blow it after they take the lead that's what's gonna happen they'll score after they take the lead. That's what's going to happen. They'll score. They call the timeout, so that's why it's on commercial. But, well, let's see if we can get another penalty. Oh, my God.

This is unbelievable. I mean, listen, I'm not saying the Texans suck, but good football teams don't commit that many freaking penalties. What are we doing? I mean, shit. Oh, fucking Tunsil. Why don't you go smoke some more reefer in your mask like that time? Maybe you need more reefer.

He needs more Mary Warney. That's what he needs. I just got to go back to the damn Saints. We got third and 20 here. I'm split screening. Let's see. I'll just watch this play for now. Maybe something good will happen if I don't watch the Saints.

Let's see. Third and eight, third and 12. He's sacked. Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ. Is he dead? I hope he's not dead. I still need passing yards.

Let me go back because this fucking game is still on commercial. I wasn't aware that a commercial needed to be seven minutes for a timeout. Stroud, are you dead? No, I think he's alive. What was that? I did nail the 2-2 Atwell one for the Rams. He's got 82. I think I took him for like 40 on the card. Look at you.

Who would have thought the Bears and rams would be a shootout fucking tax and you're breaking my heart what are the saints gonna do oh we'll never find out we'll never know because it's the longest goddamn time out ever shut up john why are we still doing commercials for covid shots like i don't give a shit what you believe or what your politics are why are we still paying dickhead celebrities to do fucking vaccine commercials? For COVID. Think Paxlovid. God damn it.

Why don't we get a London game next week? What? Why don't we get a London game next week? Yeah, that means we gotta get up early. Oh, it's an exciting Jets and Vikings matchup. I'm sorry that the Vikings are the most exciting team in the league, apparently. Wait, I think the Saints already ran their play and lost.

Let's see. Let's see what happened. They... Wait! Nope, they didn't score. Game over. Okay, so we missed the play. That's why the timeout was so long.

Yeah, I hate the Saints. And somebody should... What are we doing? What? I mean, like, God god why am i putting myself through this misery why there's oh they're gonna get a oh i'm gonna i'm taking a break for way too much money to spend on tickets to go to kansas city to see these guys because those tickets because of taylor are millions of dollars no jilly's putting her foot down she says we can't

go watch the shitty fucking saints not for 200 a person no this game would be dumber than the time we went to lsu alabama that was a dumb one but i used to have a lot of money so it wasn't as bad but yes i think i spent 500 a ticket to go to that alabama game and we left at halftime but for a brief moment we gotta i think we stopped them on the first drive of the game so well i guess the positive is if the saints can somehow get the ball back i might get the passing yards from uh derrick carr so at least there's that all right i'll rejoin you i need i need to chug like four beers in a row here i'm this is a this this is a depressing day all around all right goddamn saints got it got it back. So they're at the plus 42 with a chance to go win the damn game with three

minutes to go. Or at least take the. Oh, my God. Okay. False start. Oh, sorry. They're at the goddamn 47. God, I'm watching the Texans.

Just like last week. Derek Carr pick coming. No, I think what's going to happen here is they're going to do just like last week and go down and take the goddamn lead and then blow it somehow still. There's still too much time for it to be the Derek Carr pick. That has to come like in the official last possession of the game. I also need him to throw for 17 more yards to hit my over. So at least do that for me, you fucking dope.

I turned the Texans on for just a second after they gave the ball back and the first play they committed defensive holding on a run play. Come on, Derek. Come on, Derek. Another flag. And a huge completion to Olave, but there's a flag. What is the flag? No, don't flex.

You're good, but that's going to be on us. My God. My God. A legal shift. God damn it. God damn it. That would have been a... Oh, God.

That would have hit my yards. That would have got us down in position to stall out. Just like the old saints. God, for two glorious weeks, we were really something. We are no longer something. Now now it's hard because i'm going back and forth but i hate split screening things i know i know let me see multi-view all right view available games uh let's go saints on that one let's see what we got all right saints and jaguars games here we go all right we're in all right so boy this

boy this is boy they started this drive at the plus 42 they are now at their own 48 god damn it oh this is terrible I mean unbelievable and now you got the Texans who need to get a big stop here and get the ball back and go win this damn thing. Saints got their big stop. They're not going to go win the damn thing. Oh, I tell you, the beer. The Texans got their big stop on the last drive and did nothing with it. This is true.

But they got to do it again. Third and 11. If you don't stop them here, they're going to be able to run two minutes at least off the clock here, and then you're in trouble. Six minutes is still an eternity. All right, let's see. Come see come on Derek you stupid ass again you got to talk bad about them and they'll do good that's what I've learned parenting 101 raise your kids the right way there you go all right go go all right that's a nice little pick up there we're getting close to

the yards too again if we're gonna lose the game at least get your passing yards, you putts. How many does he have now? Did Love hit his and they scored a touchdown. So Green Bay's down 14th. That's a hit with Jordan Love yards. Andy Dalton's getting closer. The old red rooster. Derek Carr, I believe is at 203. He needs 205. So he needs two more yards here, Derek. Boy, wouldn't this be the pits if they somehow, they stall right here, don't get any more passing yards and lose. My goodness, I tell you what. Now I'm pacing the damn room.

We got split screen. We got beers. We got close games. Third and six, Carr. Get it. Got him. All right, Derek Carr has hit his yards. He's got the stop.

I tell you what, kids. I'm going to say, the drunker I get, Got him! All right, Derek Carr has hit his yards. He's got the stop. Whoo! I tell you what, kids. I'm going to say, the drunker I get, the more I say I tell you what. I drink alcohol, I become my relatives all of a sudden. I tell you what. All right, so now the Saints are at the 24. Trevor Lawrence had an opportunity to hit. Was that NFLSU?

Yep, he didn't make it. Good play. But that's NFLSU on NFLSU crime right there, baby. Stingley's made some huge freaking plays. He made the play in the end zone. Woo! Woo! So now let's go.

Let's go. Saints, Texans, you go win this, we do a shot. Both teams win, we do a shot. One team wins, we don't. That's how we roll. All right, so to win the game at this point there's still a lot of time left but to win the game the Texans would have to go about 80 yards to score a touchdown to win it there's another flag listen I I like D'Amico very nice guy Bubba Gump type motherfucker I like him

very folksy charming guy adorable man got to start calling the guy out. Like the honeymoon period's over. You're in this crappy division. You're facing an 0-3 team at home after just getting waxed by Minnesota. And your team can't stop committing penalties. And at some point, that is on you. And I know you're a smart guy. You are a great player, a smart player, leader of defenses.

But what are we doing my god i swear this is what it's like to watch a football game with me every day i think that's why people are enjoying this and they listen to it on monday you would think who would want to listen to this it's like you get to relive all this with a lunatic like me and this is how i watch sporting events my god i feel like i'm doing stand-up i got i'm holding this mic i'm walking around i'm like walking around with the cord here. Like, Pat Frymouth got four catches. That was on the card, kiddos.

I told you. Every week he's had four catches exactly. And that was plus money today. Texans get a personal foul on the return. Like, now that's going to move you half the distance. So, Jamar's long catch is a hit. Lazard catches is a hit. Kyle Pitts long reception of 17 isn't,

and I hope it doesn't. I don't think the Justin Jefferson long catch hit. Brian Thomas Jr. long catch did hit. Jonathan Taylor touchdown hit. Fryer move over three and a half catches hit. Did Kyron Williams get over 18 and a half receiving? I know he scored. Let me see if you got that. I'll have to look at my- Jalen Hurts has not thrown a pick Did Kyron Williams get over 18.5 receiving? I know he scored.

Jalen Hurts has not thrown a pick as far as I know, and Saquon hasn't scored. But overall, still not terrible on the old card. I tell you, you've got to listen to the prop to your drop. So the Saints are knocking on the door again, but let's be honest, they're not going to score. Boy, where's the Red Rooster where his yards wait is oh i saw another guy threw a pass for them i'm like who the fuck is johnny hecker i think it was a fake punt with their punt i'm like why is there a johnny hecker stealing my yards so he has not how many receiving yards do you have he has 10

there's still a lot of time in has 10 there's still a lot of time in that game there's not a lot of time in that game i take it back there's only two and a half and the bears have the ball boy all right so both of these games are in a timeout oh shit this is two minutes it's the two minute warning in the nfl right so it's the two minute warning this is not college where it's the two minute timeout, I don't know if they have some sort of law that states that they have to call it something other than the two-minute warning, but it is the two-minute warning in the NFL. The dipshit Saints, they're showing the highlights now where the Saints essentially gave the Falcons the game. As much as I love Shaheed and he's

made big plays, trying to field a goddamn punt at the two-yard line while you're backpedaling and trying to catch it over your shoulder is dreadful. And then you throw the pick six. And then you get stalled inside the five again. And even this drive. You start this drive at the 42, and before you can blink, you're at your own 48. All right, so they're back to action now.

Another incomplete pass out to Kamara on a second and two. So I'm telling you, I'm going to lose my mind. I'm going to lose my mind over this. Why do I care so much? Do you ever watch sports and think to yourself like, Jesus, why do I care so much about the outcome of this game? Why does this determine what my mood is going to be for the rest of the day? Why, why, why?

Because we're lunatics. That's why we do it. Is that Britney Spears' sister? No, that's somebody else do it not just is that Britney Spears sister no that's somebody else but she looked like Britney Spears sister on this whatever this promo just was she's definitely not a big enough star to be on a CBS show or a TBS show or an any BS show

well what are you gonna do Derek oh got him down to the one dude a lave is a fucking baller and remember a lave do, Derek. Oh, got him! Down to the one! Dude, Olave's a fucking bowler. And remember, Olave... You know what that was, the Texans? Yeah, that was... Stupid. Dude, the Texans

are stupid as a team. Maybe Cam Akers can just bust an 80-yard run for my touchdown. And I need them to win. So much drama going on here. Son of a bitch. So the Saints, will they punch one in here? Here's the problem though. And I know it's easy to say

now, but if they would have kicked the field goal earlier, they'd be down three. A touchdown puts you up four and this goddamn coup can't beat you. This fucking coup doesn't miss. So a field goal will beat you at this point. You know Atlanta's going to use their timeouts here. So ah, beer's cold, baby.

Texans move. I mean, there's so much drama happening right now. I think the Bears are about to put the Rams away. Run, CJ! I'm sure there'll be a holding on that too, if I had to guess. I mean, my God, these penalties are just awful. All right, Derek, what are we going to do here from the one yard line? Let's see. Dude, Green Bay's cut it to six. Uh-oh, indeed. That's fine at this point. They moved the pile a little bit. That's going to fall. Well, Taysom Hill, this fucker can't stay healthy. So he left the game early after scoring two touchdowns with ease, by the way. His two scores were like money. If they would have had him last week, they beat the damn Eagles.

But shit. Come on, CJ. Just move it up the field, boys. Wait, did the Saints fumble it? No. Okay. My God. But see, this is good because you're forcing Atlanta

to use another timeout I don't think timeouts are a huge issue here at this point either because I mean you saw Kirk he marched right down the field on the Eagles three weeks ago and they didn't have any kind of timeout action I think they were out of timeouts and that or had one so we'll see but you got to punch this fucker in now guys go. Derek! I don't think he got in. Well, third and goal from the one. But that's going to force Atlanta to use that timeout. Or they may not here, actually. No, they're not.

What's the flag on the Texans game? Is it another Texans flag? What do we do? Based on that dude's head. Yep, another hold. Oh, Tunsell again. Dude, you suck, bro. My God.

This is unbelievable. Oh, yeah. I mean, that's obvious. You got your hand around his damn neck. This is unbelievable. These two games are going to, I would say, drive me to drink, but I like doing that. I think Dalton's is 220-something.

Yep, and they're still in the game, and there's still six minutes to go. So now the Saints have called a timeout with a minute to go. Honestly, you want to know the ideal scenario is that the Saints don't score on this play, and the clock ticks down as far as it can go, then they score on the next. That should be a helmet-to-helmet penalty. Unbelievable. My God.

Look. Like, I'll tell you. What? They really could use Taysom now. I know they could. Let's see if this was a helmet-to-helmet. I mean, there's been far less called on that play. Well, here we go. this was a helmet to helmet. I mean, there's been far less called on that play.

Well, here we go. Saints with a minute to go. My God. And then what's going to happen is I know Kirk's going to do it. Kirk's going to march right down the... Even if we score, Kirk's going to go down there and get this goddamn coup into field goal range, and he's going to drill one, and we're going to lose. That's assuming we get the ball in.

God forbid you ask someone to score a touchdown from the one yard line on four tries go touchdown he's in he's in he's in yes all right the i get the texans are a fourth and 15 now and now strad's holding his damn hand shit oh boy oh boy oh boy all, I might have to take a little break here. I gotta take a little break. Maybe go get another beer. And here's what we're

gonna have to do. Because the Saints are kicking the extra point now. They're about to go up one. And they're gonna somehow find a way to lose this thing. Oh shit. First I gotta make the extra point. Which who the hell knows did he get in he definitely got in boy this texans game's gonna kill my parlay too nice play in the nice job in the

punk coverage though but now they're running out of time make the extra point he got it all right we're up by one with exactly one minute to go. What will happen? Denver's winning again? I hate Aaron Rodgers. My God. Like, you're a little quirky shit and cute. Like, I don't care what your beliefs are, but I don't even find you interesting. You seem like you're being deliberately quirky and annoying, and I hate you. No!

That is not a pass interference. And the Texans have a flag. Oh, God! That is not a pass interference. And the Texans have a flag. Oh, God. That is not a pass interference. That might be a pass interference. Fuck. Well, Saints are going to fuck.

Oh, come on. The guy, the ball hit him in the fucking hands. Well. Oh, wow. So this, okay. Well, the saints have now lost after that penalty now they're in field goal range and the game's over so shit we gotta get a sack here or something oh shut up jonathan velma uh so boy we got so much drama here, but I told you. Like, I'm hurt, but I'm not really hurt because I knew it.

Take the goddamn lead. This is going to be the second game that they blow. They should be 4-0. They gifted them this goddamn game. Go, CJ. Got him. Nico. Now they're in field goal range at least.

Now you can really go to work on the clock here. But now I need the goddamn Jets to rally. Shit. Oh, my God. I need homeboy to throw. Boy, my heart's going to break when we lose this. I like Kirk and all, but these fuckers should be 0-4. They shouldn't have beat the damn Eagles, and they shouldn't beat us.

We gave them 14 points. literally gave them 14 points. Two turnovers that led directly to points. I'm surprised you didn't throw a flag there too, you peckerheads. Nico with a buck 45. Be smart, CJ. Get rid of it. Stay in bounds. Oh, it doesn't matter. It's about to be the two minute warning

Two minute warning to the Texans We're in field goal range boys We're good but you gotta punch one in You don't want to tie this shit And in this one the Saints are 18 seconds Away from losing Like I have no belief they're gonna win If we get a sack here we got a shot

Go get him Go get his ass! He's slow! Go! Got him! Oh! Third down. Boy, they're taking shots, man. Fucking Kirk's out here slinging, baby.

Oh, God. Please, for the love of God, let us goddamn win one here. Oh, look at that effort, though. Oh, no, that would have been a touchdown. He was open. So, Koo, his longest

is 54 yards. This is like 55? No, they're at the 40. So, this is 57. If we What? Down three and has the ball. We got to tune into that in a second go get kirk go get him yes well here we go fourth down they're gonna have to kick it oh god damn it god damn it god damn it oh god damn it if they wouldn't have called the one damn passenger oh my god Goddamnit. Goddamnit. Oh, goddamnit. If they wouldn't have called the one damn pass in their face.

Oh, my God. No! Goddamnit. Oh, this goddamn coup. Dude, Jilly, what was that? That's back-to-back brutal losses for them. Yep, we should be 4-0. Should be 4-0.

We're about to be 2-2. 2-3 after we play Kansas City. Well, 58 yards. Come on, fuckers! Don't jump! Come on, asshole! Miss it! He...

got it. Fuck! Ugh. Alright. it fuck no all right well so much for that unbelievable all right well we got to watch the end of the texans you knew. You just fucking knew it. I hate the Saints. I hate them so fucking much. Ugh. Alright, we'll watch the end of the Texans now. Hopefully we win that one. Alright, I'm back. Texans have a chance to win this. Put in

Akers and let him run in the Tud. They're, what, the one? Boy, Aaron Rodgers is going to screw up my money line parlay. Oh my God. They're terrible. Dude. The fucking jets are terrible. Probably think so.

Or a fucking false start or something. Yeah. You kind of get that vibe. Don't you? Pittsburgh. Well, they're trying to drive, but they keep just delivering awful snaps here to fucking homeboy. Boy.

So the Texans have a legit shot to win this damn thing. Put in Akers. Oh, wait. I think that Pittsburgh is going to lose. Yeah, so they turned the ball over there. So that's that. So Aaron Rodgers is with a fourth and ten. They do have three timeouts

left so they could in theory get it back but dead oh wow dude the fucking jets are losers rogers is a loser they're all fucking losers fucking losers oh well now we watch the texans give it to acres help me out here. Give it to Akers. He's not in the game, is he? Nope. God dang you. Oh, you suck. Well, just go score then.

You broke my heart without the Akers, Tud. Come on, CJ. He's going to run it in. Nope. Short. You got to go. You got timeout, so you're fine. Oh, put in acres.

Oh, boy. The drama in these games is fucking bonkers. We're already on the second round, too. We're already in the afternoon games. I know. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh, it was the Texans game where the idiot said field gold.

That's Jason McCourty. They're like, hey, if we put in enough shitty analysts, it makes up for it. Put in Akers, unless he's hurt and I don't know this. Even if he's hurt, put him in. Let him run. Oh, I tell tell you my heart hurts well fucking jets boy the panthers are still trying to chug a lug there aren't they

is the acres in nope it's not now just punch it in. He's got him. Touchdown. Yep. Yep. Oh, boy. What a ball game. Still time left, but oh, boy, that's huge, man. Holy shit. Holy shit.

I would have preferred that it had been Cam Akers because, you know, that would have gotten me the parlay to stay alive but how you feeling over there Jelly? It's intense. It has certainly been an intense I have no gambling for the afternoon game so this is all I have. The fact the Saints lost still has my unless like some miracle happened

and I haven't seen it. I don't seen it. I don't think it did either. All right. Good job, Texans. More beer. All right. Been a couple hours.

Throw the damn ball, Josh Allen. What are we goddamn doing? I need passing yards from Josh Allen if he can't tell. Lively afternoon of football. Hit a couple things. Jilly, did you hit anything? No, but I told you I didn't even have anything in the afternoon games because mine all died and I didn't put anything in just for afternoon games.

Yeah. At least the Texans won. That's kind of why we didn't do anything in the afternoon because I don't feel like we were very invested in the afternoon games. No, I guess not. Look, I'm still very, very upset about the Saints. And hey, at least the Texans won, so that's good. But goddamn Saints game got me all sorts of pissed off today.

Very angry. And then, to top that off, I had multiple parlays that either had. I had one that was a touchdown parlay that missed because Cam Akers didn't get into the end zone for the Texans, and it would have hit because homeboy Derrick Henry just ran 90 yards for a touchdown, so that would have hit. And then the wins because the stupid goddamn Jets. The Jets hosed us with that one. Otherwise, we'd be rooting for Baltimore to win here, and that would hit a parlay for that. So basically, if Josh Allen hits this, we break even for the day. We hit a bunch of shit.

I had a bunch of passing overs, but when I mixed that in with the parlays I didn't hit, it all kind of balances out. And I missed a couple of things, too. The second half of the games today weren't as good for me as the first half. And I missed a couple of them. Like I missed fucking Andy Dalton by 10 yards. I missed Pat Mahomes by three. So he throws on the last play of the game. I needed 18 yards.

He got 15. Damn. Oh, God. So, and I don't know if he's going to come back again, but I heard the owl from the last time we were out here. And let me tell you, this damn owl makes, I don't know if he's going to come back again but i heard the owl from the last time we were here and let me tell you this damn owl makes i don't know if it's the same out this is a legit question this is a drunken beer drinking question perhaps here let me throw that away for you jelly little taco bell got a little taco bell delivery and i got my meat on the grill still on the smoker

free sunday delivery with the chicken taco perfect way to go taco bell like this is going to be a weird question this is coming from someone who's come face to face with a scary owl before okay but owls do they all make the exact same sound like that or is that the same owl like do all owls go, do all owls make that sound, like the identical sound? They all have the same cadence. I mean, you would agree, though. That's the exact same sound we heard. Yeah, totally. So I don't know if that's the same thing they do.

Like, as people, we all have voices, but some people, they speak different languages, and some people have deeper voices or higher pitch voices. But as far as owls go, do owls all make the exact same sound? Do they all go or is that just the same owl fucking with me like he does every damn Sunday when I try to sit out here and watch my stories? These are the questions. Throw the damn ball, Josh Allen. Don't piss me off. All they do is throw these little dinks throw the damn ball josh allen don't piss me off all they do is throw these little dinks over the middle boy fucking saints should be four and oh i could tell once that happened like the mood of this day was like it wasn't gonna be as rowdy as the last time we did this because you were not in a good mood like i actually considered i thought we were going to stop drinking beer well look i don't stop drinking beer even though last night we did a lot of shots and i woke up not hung over because i don't really get hung over but i woke up what you might call still drunk

and i know that feeling because i used to get up for work at four o'clock in the morning so i know what it's like to wake up and still be drunk but somehow function enough to get to work but uh yeah that was a that game was a ball buster, two ball busters in a row. At least the Texans won. And we do get our little matchup with the former pussy manager of the Astros who, oh, I can't stop the cheating. I can't, but I'm angry enough to smash a TV, but I'm not angry enough to stop you guys from cheating.

So I really hope the Astros kick the shit out of Detroit, but it is going to be Detroit. I think A.J. Hinch had them lose those last two on purpose. He wanted this rematch. He wants the redemption tour. That's quite the conspiracy you have there. Yep. I mean, he lost two to the White Sox. Come on.

People already bitching about the games being at 130, and I get that that sucks. I feel like the Astros fans were just used to it. Yeah, that's kind of how we roll. Hey, guess what? You've won multiple World Series play in most of these games either at 1.30 or actually though, and this is before this wildcard thing existed, but they would play those Red Sox games at like

3, right? Those were like middle afternoon games. But yeah, who cares what time the damn game is played? I know people want to see it. People have jobs unlike you. Jilly, there's no need what time the damn game is played? Like, I know people want to see it. Well, you know, people have jobs unlike you. Jilly, there's no need to be a bitch tonight. My team's already lost. We lost two in a row. I'm going to break even in my bet so I have

no victory today. Now you want to shit on me for not having a job? That's bitchy. Well, could you make it seem like, hey, what's the problem? Why are you bitching? Well, people have to work. They can't watch. And I understand that, but like, somebody's got to play in the afternoon. You know what I'm saying? Like the reality is nobody gives a shit about the Astros outside of Houston. That's the reality. So like there's certain factors that play into this as well, which I would imagine are West Coast things. So certain teams that play on the

West Coast, you know, they're not going to have them play at 11 in the morning or one and have their game. So that's probably not going to happen. look it sucks I get that it sucks like you'd rather be able to go home 6 30 but you know what and I tell this to people all the time who bitch about what time games start there are some people who do shift work and can't watch a night game so to them this is a nice thing that's not most people most people are nine to fivers and I get that most people are nine to fivers and yes it sucks that the game is at 1.30 in the afternoon, but I think of it differently. I think of it in that this game's going to be played in the afternoon, which means it's the only time 790's going to get any goddamn ratings, and it's going to look like they have afternoon ratings, when in

reality, it's playoff baseball. And I'm still bitter about that from when I got there, and they had played a couple of afternoon baseball games in the playoffs when we got there. So their rating in the afternoon bumped right before we got there. So when we came in the next month, the rating went back down because there were no fucking playoff games on in the afternoon. But it became, oh, Josh came to town and the ratings dropped. Ah, fuck you, person I didn't make up, but is essentially a straw man. It's an amalgam. It's an amalgamation of all these people. And then the guy that writes for the paper, that David Barron was, well, first month uh came in charlie had like a 1.5 or two which is nothing and then that and they don't point out that that comes from multiple baseball games that happened certain things i hang

on to and that's one of them that pissed me off and i haven't let it go oh i kind of like these sweatshirts with all the the rainbow colors on them for the cancers. It's a weird thing to say like, man, I like your cancer shirt, but I do. I like that the way it's kind of got all the different colors on it and everything. So that's cool. You're right. It got muggy out here. Weird night. I thought we were going to get a nice little breezy evening tonight, but it's supposed to get hot again for the next couple days like humid and then like one day of nice weather and then hot again and then yeah so we do not get our nice fall night tonight did you say that the uh detroit people are also bitching about the start time that was most of

the replies i saw from the mlb tweet was people in detroit who are like what the fuck well here's the thing detroit you fucking suck at baseball and you've sucked for like the last decade you essentially have a worthless pointless franchise you're lucky to be in the playoffs because you had like a like a one in a million shot of even making it if i were you i'd be really excited to be in the playoffs and i'd shut the fuck up like who the hell are you to sit there and go we're the mighty detroit tigers why are we playing at 130 because you're the det Tigers. You're barely in the damn playoffs, whiners. People that whine about the time your playoff game is, you've got a team that's in the damn playoffs.

Quit bitching. I thought there was a chance that maybe Kansas City and Baltimore would get that first game, but it is tradition for the Astros to get it. I mean, the Astros and the Tigers, at least, much better storyline. Well, certainly. You get the matchup between the old manager who couldn't stop the cheating because he has a vagina.

No offense to those of you who listen who have vaginas, but his is gaping and he couldn't get the job done to stop the dudes from cheating. I hope the Astros kick the shit out of them. They're favored to win the series for what it's worth. Although, you gotta... The Astros, it's very

possible because I experienced this rooting for the Cardinals a couple of years ago. The Cardinals were the favored team in that wildcard series. They got all three games at home. They were playing the Phillies. And this was the first time the Phillies had been to the playoffs in a while. But the pitching matchup, when you looked at it it the Cardinals weren't terrible and they had Michaelis in that one year that he was really good and I think game one was was it Jack Flaherty who started game one I don't remember what it was but it was that that was the matchup they had those two guys then you went up against well no it may have been Wainwright but it may not have been he may have been hurt I don't know but But in that series, you faced Aaron Nola and what's his name? The other really good one. But who was it? Wheeler, maybe? So you get two hot pitchers. And the Cardinals blew game

one. They were up 1-0 in the ninth and blew the lead in the ninth. But point being in all of this is that game was 1-0 on a home run by what's his name that eventually got traded to the Phillies right so like as much as you think you're stacked and ready to go and I think the Astros rotation is obviously really good and up top you're very good if you have a bad day offensively you're facing Scooble Scooble goes out and shuts you down you could lose a game two to one and then you're one game away from fucking elimination you know it's not the good old days of best three out of five it's you lose this one you're facing elimination tomorrow so um and i guess what worked out for detroit too and i don't know this for a fact because i haven't been following it all that closely but because they've kind of known they

were both in like they could still set up their rotation and get their guys ready to go because they knew that they were in it was just a matter of who you were going to play and i don't know if they had a preference i mean at this point who has a preference you get in you ready to go because they knew that they were in. It was just a matter of who you were going to play, and I don't know if they had a preference. I mean, at this point, who has a preference? You get in. You try to get your best guys available. Game one of that series in 2022 was Zach Wheeler for the Phils and Jose Quintana. That was it.

So Quintana pitched his balls off. They took him out early, which was bullshit too. But the Cardinals then hit the home run with what's-his-name. The solo home run that he hit was the guy. But the Cardinals then hit the home run with what's-his-name. The solo home run that he hit was the guy that got traded or eventually went to the Phillies. He was part of the trade for what's-his-name, JoJo. And he hit a home run, I think, in the seventh. And we were up 1-0.

We go to the ninth. We end up losing the goddamn game 6-1. It was the seventh. It was Juan Yepez. Juan Yepez in the seventh, right? So he hits a solo homer. And we're up 1-0. We go to the ninth. It was Juan Yepez. Juan Yepez in the seventh, right? So he hits a solo homer and we're up one nothing. We go to the ninth and it's one nothing with Helsley, who, by the way, set a franchise record for saves this year. He had 49 freaking saves for a team that only won 83 games. He was very good. And in that year, he goes in and they just blow up in the

ninth and the Phillies score sixth. Then the next night comes around and the Cardinals lose like 3-0 or 4-0. That one was Aaron Nola against Miles Michaelis. What was the final? 3-0, I think, or 3-0? 2-0. 2-0. And again, that's how easy it is. Remember, that was the year that Paul Goldschmidt, even though he sucked in September,

Paul Goldschmidt won the MVP that year, right? The Phillies hadn't made the playoffs. Albert Pujols was really hot at that point. Albert Pujols. That was the last year of Albert Pujols. He had gotten the MVP that year, right? The Phillies hadn't made the playoffs. Albert Pujols was really hot at that point. Albert Pujols. That was the last year of Albert Pujols. He had gotten to 700 that year. He was smoking the ball. And just like that, you can go from like, hey, we're playing at home.

We got to win two out of three at home. We're facing a team that hadn't been to the playoffs. And again, the Phillies hadn't been to the playoffs since they lost to the Cardinals in 2011. So it was over a decade since that franchise had been to the playoffs. But you get hot pitchers. Again, their starting pitchers gave up three runs combined in those two games. They were dynamite. So anything could happen in that situation. That's what makes having to play this best two out of three series bad. That's why you want to be one of the two teams against a bye. So it's not unfathomable to think that the Astros at home, you face a damn good pitcher who

Scooble, you were telling me, won the triple crown for pitchers, which I didn't even know was a fucking thing that we acknowledged. But apparently there's a triple crown for pitchers, which is strikeouts, wins, and ERA. I had no idea we even talked about a triple crown for a pitcher. I'd never heard of such a thing. But apparently it is. Triple crown, pitcher, whatever. So if you think about that, you get a hot pitcher because the Astros offense has

sputtered a lot. And we don't know what the situation is with Jordan. We have no freaking clue how healthy Jordan is. So with the health issues that they deal with in the lineup, and you feel good about having Framper go in game one, but it's very possible you could at home lose two to one and then you're on the brink of elimination. So it's a concern when you, again, at a series like this, when you have good starting pitching and you run into a good starter, might get yourself in some deep shit. So they might be in deep shit when it comes to this. Who's the Tigers number two pitcher? Don't know. But he's not Scooble.

I know that. I didn't even start following the Tigers barely at all until they started getting closer and closer to making something happen. But yeah, shit, man. I don't know. It's not impossible to think they come to town. And there's something scary about the hot team. Again, go back to 2011. I know that this is easy to say, but you get a hot team. Cardinals were an example. The Cardinals, very similar to Detroit, and the Detroit was on the outside looking in back in August. People thought they were dead. They were like plus 6,000 to even make the playoffs, right? That's like that Cardinals team in August that was 10 games back of the wild card and just became the hottest team in baseball. Got in on the last day day they beat the Astros in Houston on that night I was there with Meltzer and they won that they had to get the the Phillies which was the ultimate funny part about this

is if that so the Phillies I believe beat the Braves or that so the Phillies beat the Braves that night because they beat the Braves it eliminated the Braves well then the Cardinals ended up facing the Phillies and the Cardinals won night, and because they beat the Braves, it eliminated the Braves. Well, then the Cardinals ended up facing the Phillies, and the Cardinals won in that epic five-game series, and they won game, I think they won 1-0. That was the score, 1-0 in game five on a run that was scored in the first freaking inning. So, which was a Skip Schumacher, who's the hottest commodity in the world. I think Skip Schumacher drove in that run in the first inning. It was after a Ferc call triple. But anyway, I know random shit that's makes no sense. But, um, all that said, you look at that Cardinals

team that year and they got hot, they got in and they beat the best road to one of the best rotations ever. A hundred plus win team in Philly that was destined to win the world series. They beat them. Then they go to Milwaukee and win that. And then they have the epic World Series where they beat the Rangers. So you really hate to face the hot team like that. You'd rather be facing the team that got in, but has either been set for a while, or the team that is kind of just like the Royals. I would look at a team like the Royals. The Royals have been bad, essentially, for the last month or so. And they had a stretch where they lost seven or eight in a row. They wouldn't scare me.

Detroit is more scary. I'd love to beat them because I'd love to see them beat A.J. Hinch, who I think is a putz. But this is not the kind of team you want to face, especially when the Astros didn't limp into the playoffs. It's not like they're riding in on a, you know, in a Ferrari here. Like they're kind of puttering in a little bit. The offense has been very up and down. So I don't know, man. I don't know. I'd say it's a concern going into this one. You got to, and also Detroit, what do they have to lose? No one thought they'd be in the fucking playoffs. They were a mile out of this thing. So they do have that advantage of, you know, why not us? So anyway, we'll watch some more football, drink some more beer.

We will rejoin you. This asshole Josh Allen's barely thrown for any yards. I need him to throw for more. How's your parlay looking? Well, that's Justice Hill who just caught a pass. So I need him to catch, I think, three. So that's good. Well, there you go. So we'll get an update on all that. We'll drink more beer. Oh, I was about to start talking into the phone. I forgot to grab the microphone. I'm like, hello, podcast, on my thing. Do I follow Batista? No, I don't know why this popped up. But Batista wants everybody to know that he did the early voting and he's got his, you know, Harris Walls shirt on. And like, I don't give a shit who you vote for, but like, I like when people post shit like this. Freedom isn't something we just talk about. It's something we act on. Do your part. Get out there and vote.

Your voice matters, and this election's too important to sit out, which is an indicator, by the way, another touchdown for this dude. Baltimore's beating the shit out of the— So I took Justice Hill for two catches, and he's got, I think, four catches now, and I don't know, he's going to have, what, 40, 50 receiving yards? He's a running back. God damn it. And then bateman where are you well nowhere to be seen no i don't even know who the hell that is like jason bateman

no rashad bateman justine bateman no none of them patrick bateman uh but um like i love when people because like all these celebrities tell you to go vote because it's so important and the world is going to end if you don't and your voice needs to be heard. But like they only want that voice to be the voice they agree with. Like everybody that tells you go vote, it's important and your voice must be heard. They would probably call you a Nazi shithead if you voted for someone they're not voting for. God, politics is such a fucking farce. And I think we talked about this But my agent was asking me

Hey, do you think you could do political talk? I'm like, fuck no, I couldn't do political I mean, I could I could do anything, I'm a fucking G But I don't want to, I don't want to be miserable Hell, I get mad doing sports radio What do you think would happen if I tried to go in every day Talking about politics on the radio?

My God And there's no room for like moderate people in political radio, right? It's either, well, first of all, there's no liberal talk radio either that died because nobody gives a shit. Mostly because I don't think liberal people have AM radio to hear it. And if they are, they're listening to NPR, the excitement there. But basically talk radio thrives with Republican people because Republican people still listen to shitty AM radio is basically what it comes down to. And they're the ones that are like fighting to make sure all cars must include AM radios. If anybody gives a flying fuck about AM radio, you might as well say, hey, we are fighting to have eight track players remain in cars and cassette decks in our cars.

Like, my Christ. Oh Oh God. Without AM radio, they're silencing conservative voices. We'll tell the conservative voices to get a fucking iPhone and listen to podcasts, which a lot of them do, by the way, it's easy to make fun of the AM radio thing, but some of the biggest podcasts out there are still right wing podcasts, but it's still just funny. The idea that like they would fight not totally random here but i've been drinking beer watching football all day so deal with it um it's just hysterical to me that this is the thing that these people fight for like when you you go wait a minute they're taking am radios out of cars because remember a couple years ago it was either ford or i forgot

who it was they're like we will no longer be putting am radio in cars and that this thing like went to the highest power to stop it. They're like, nope, because they're trying to silence conservative voices. I'm sorry that fucking Jim Bob doesn't get to listen to Hannity on his AM radio anymore. Get a fucking smartphone, Bluetooth it to the goddamn car. By the way, as if listening to that conservative radio is changing somebody's opinion anyway, if they're listening to Hannity or they're listening to any of these these right-wing guys or left-wing guys for that matter they're just doing it for affirmation there's nothing those guys can say that are going to change their fucking opinions i tell you i tell you what it's going to be the name of the podcast when i tell

you what that's a good podcast name i tell you what with josh and us yeah i don't get it man people are just fucking morons and then when people tell you to go vote go vote it's the most important thing ever to go vote unless you're not voting for my person in which case you're a piece of shit nazi and i hope you die and you hate freedom and um and you probably hate transgender people and you hate minorities and you hate everybody because you that's obvious oh boy the world's fucked that's another name for the podcast i'll tell you what dot dot dot the world is fucked with josh yeah but when my agent asked she goes what do you think about shit me an email and she goes it just said talk in the subject i'm like oh are we gonna have a talk with someone this is nice and he goes what do you think about doing talk radio? And I go, I don't think I'd be good at it. She goes,

what are your politics? And I go, I don't even really know. And then I just fired off like five emails because I think of something new and I'd fire something else off. And then I didn't get a response after that. I'm like, let me tell you, I think you're all fucking idiots. That's what I think. And I was like, what does that make me? And I didn't get a response. But so, yeah. So the good news about being down 21-3 if you're Buffalo is Josh Allen's eventually going to have to throw. The bad news about them getting their dicks knocked off tonight is Jelly has brought up.

He's almost through the pick. We called a Josh Allen pick tonight. It's coming. It's coming. I did get the Jaden Daniels pick today today he only threw like four incompletions one of them happened to be a pick and he still lit the world on fire but the bad that we're wrong on that we were like oh he's gonna come down to earth a little bit this week nope they still haven't punted since week one yeah the only reason that ball wasn't intercepted is it was so fast it hit the dude right in the dick and he couldn't hang on to it but um yeah the uh the bad news is you've brought to my attention and i agree is that buffalo is uh going

to be coming off getting walloped when they play the texans next week and the texans are just kind of surviving i mean they haven't had one blowout win all three of their wins have been and hey look wins are when you're not going to say you're sorry about winning a game or anything like that but i mean it's not a look they've got concerns and uh you're going to get a pissed off josh allen coming to town after their first loss because i ain't winning this shit i know there's seven minutes to go in the second quarter but they ain't winning so um yeah that could be ugly next week. Could be. All right, anyway, more beer.

More beer. The owl went away. I think I heard his feelings. He's like, you son of a – dead again, Josh Allen. Boy, he may not get to his yards tonight. He's terrible tonight. The whole team is terrible. I knew Baltimore was going to win.

If the goddamn Jets wouldn't have lost to Denver, making that dickhead Sean Payton look like he's actually doing a good coaching job. You gave the game away, just like the Saints gave the game away today. Everything got on. It was like the Broncos had 184 yards of total offense. Like in halftime, Bo Nix was like negative nine passing yards. And you still lost the damn game. I hate Aaron Rodgers. He's dope. Stick to whatever weird shit it is you do and leave the football to people who are actually good at it. You old fuck.

Anyway. All right. More beer. You know, I think it's important that we note today that, uh, we call Jilly the prop queen and by we, I mean me, but Jilly, um, incredibly in all this, her card, you did prop to you drop with me this week and your prop bets, I mean, you're hitting at a really impressive clip. But here's what we need. We need to find a rich benefactor who will just give us money to gamble with, and by us I mean you, and allow you to just bet $ dollars on every prop bet and just see where it goes somebody with a lot of money that's a benefactor will give you some of the cash too like jilly will bet for you and then we will take a percentage of it because jilly is the prop queen so let's go through some of your props from today jilly and uh let's the problem is i don't play

them or i put them all in the wrong parlays together. And that's what I'm saying is it's easier when you can just take your 10 best and play each of them. And if you hit six of the 10, you're up. So we need a rich benefactor. If anybody just has a lot of money and would like to go into business with Jillian and I, she will place these prop bets. I don't think I want that pressure. It sounds like we're getting involved with the mob.

We're not getting involved with the mob. The mob is the one that ran the books. Well, I don't want to take anyone's money and have them bet my picks because that will be the week they all miss. Look, as long as you go 5-5, you split. Well, that's not a guarantee every week. All right, well, let's see. What did you do this week?

Go down your list here. I had the 2-2 Atwell, 38.5 receiving yards for the Rams. I think he had like 80, right? All right, so we i had aaron jones 22 and a half receiving i want to say he had like well over that but i have not confirmed that but i think he hit it so there's two and i actually this baitman just made a big catch is that baitman i mean it seemed like a lot i didn't see it was damn close let's see let's show me a replay. Show me this Bateman. Okay, so the play is at the 41. Hold on here.

This kind of fits into what we're doing here. So they got the ball at the 41, their own 41. Bateman, let's see, 41 to the 35. So that's 15 plus 9. I think that's 24. It would be. I think it's right at about 24 yards, I believe. might be 21 i might have done the math wrong the other problem i have here is i also have dalton kincaid to get to 25 and he's got 18 but he's done had 18 since like the first drive and now he just he

hasn't been back is he hurt what's going on dawson knox has been playing and he i mean he didn't do shit so and that's all you need for this parlay to hit is like another. I need Lamar to get to 200, which I think he will. Well, he's at 130 something now. Let's see. He has 23 yards on that plate as Rashad Bateman. So I need two more yards from him. I already have receptions from Justice Hill.

I already have the Derrick Henry touchdown. Lamar's at 135. I need him to get to 200 and then dalton kincaid i need 25 yards he is 18 and i bet that way down just i wanted to add a little something all right well we'll see how much did you bet on this like three dollars yeah oh there you go um has my sister did she make any bets today yeah they did something with the saints and then something with the chiefs but neither of them worked i guess we didn't hear from them therefore they probably didn't hit no i know they sent them to me i know they didn't hit and she also told me that she thinks kirk herb street's really hot well i question my sister's judgment oh that's a fumble

that's a turn oh it's going back to buffalo that's a big break for them it's also a break for you because you want this to kind of stay a game. Well, I need to know if Dalton Kincaid's alive. Well, we've got to find out. Bring him back. And then Mark Andrews over here, this dickhead, he dropped an open one too. He's fallen off a cliff. He's been on my do not bet list since week one.

But my sister, back to her life. Herb Street's the fucking worst. So Emily's got horrible judgment if she's into Kirk Herb Street. He just seems like a total toolbox. But whatever, Emily, whatever you're into. All right, so you hit the 2-0 so far in this card. Yeah, I got 2-2 Atwell, and I got Aaron Jones. Naj did not have a touchdown for Pittsburgh.

So we're 2-1. Lazard over 2.5 receptions. I got that. All right, so we're 3-1. Burrowrow two passing tuds got that four and one Brian Thomas Jr. over 48 and a half got that that's five and one Kyle Pitts over three and a half receptions I don't think he caught one I think he might have had one maybe but yeah he was a disaster I also thought he'd have a big game against the Saints

given that Dallas Goddard was a machine against them last week. That was not. So we're now 5-2, I believe. I took a Chris Godwin touchdown, which he's the only one for the Bucs who didn't score a touchdown. All right, so we're 5-3. Austin Hooper over 10.5 yards. Not only did he hit that, he got a touchdown too. Look at that. I did go to play that one today, and it was miraculously not available anymore.

So now we're 6-3. Kyler Murray touchdown did not happen. 6 four i did say travis kelsey would have a big day took his 46 and a half receiving that hit all right so now what are we seven and four uh brock bowers 53 and a half that did not we're seven and five and uh currently i have james cook 21 and a half receiving on this card but i really probably would have gone with Justice Hill as who actually played but on the card I don't know how many receiving yards James Cook has currently so either way you had yourself a nice little afternoon there and then they got the two tomorrow so nothing to show for again because you what you need to do maybe this is the move is instead of doing I mean you can still do parlays but what i would do if i were you is you take like a hundred bucks and i don't have a hundred dollars i mean i whatever whatever you

like i'm just saying 50 bucks what have you got i don't have 50 dollars right fine but the point being is i'm trying to look for a low total for you in there and then you just bet ten dollars on each prop bet you know what i'm saying like and have fun with it so at least where you're getting each of them on their own so you can have the thrill of victory in some of them, because it's bullshit. I hurt for you when I watch you hit four out of five. It hurts me to see you hit... Yeah, so if I put $10 on a minus $120, I'm only going to win $8. Okay. When you put $3 on a plus $5,000 and you end up winning like $8 from that, it hurts. No, those usually win about $70. Okay, fine.

But my point is, find a couple that you like and put, you know, again, back to the $100. If you had $100, go $20 on five games, five players that you like. And you do that, and then if you hit three of those, you're up. If you hit two of them, you're basically even. I don't know. I don't like that. What I do is, because I'll pick the wrong ones with that, too. I pick my favorite things and put them in a parlay. It's the same thing as if I play them all individually.

Okay, look, that's your call. Then I put $20 on it, and I win $5. What's the point? That's to me worse than putting $3 on and only winning $47. Okay, look, you have a system and it's fine. Why would I put $20 just to win $5? That's not a thing. Yeah, I'm not asking you to do that on a play that's minus $200. That's the ones I pick.

I build them, I bet them down and put them together. But I but that's the ones i pick i build them i bet them down and put them together but i'm talking about the ones on this card like if you took lazard over two and a half catches that one especially that one was positive money but that's a rare occurrence usually they're like minus 115 minus 110 okay well dude but minus 115 if you put 20 bucks on that it wins like 17 so it pays out 37 bucks that's all i'm saying also so i just saw a uh the trailer here for this wolf's movie with with brad pitt and george clooney two beautiful men they seem like they might be crazy at least clooney does i don't know what brad pitt does but clooney seems kind of nuts but that's fine he's also had sex with stacy kiebler which good for you um those are beautiful men and I and look they they

wouldn't have me but if they wanted me they could violate me those are beautiful men is all I'm going to say there goes Josh Allen abandoning the pocket again because this dick face can't throw apparently that's why you're losers you're gonna throw that pick eventually and I will celebrate that even though I didn't take that by itself pretty sure that's still just dawson knox in the game huh so see that's what i like like i would have played dalton kincaid and then like you want me to start killing everybody in this league i hope i put them one at a time they'll all die they'll all just fall down let me see let's see if your boy is in the game here hold on he might be he hasn't been in for a quarter. Josh Allen, 42 yards, you putz. You're a toolbox, Josh Allen.

Yeah, I guess he's not in there, huh? He hasn't been since like the first quarter. Oh, wait, he's number 86, right? That's Dawson Knox. No, it's not. 88 is Dawson Knox. 86 is Dalton Kincaid. I can't tell. Listen, they're Knox. 86 is Dalton Kincaid.

I can't tell. Listen, there are two white guys that basically have the same number. I understand that. That happens to me with the Chiefs with this Watson and this fucking Gray. It's two. And then they also throw the fact that there's Kelsey. There's way too many white dudes on the field in skill positions for the Chiefs. I get them all confused.

Anyway, so that's where we are now. But Buffalo, you're terrible. I mean, you're just pieces of shit. They're going to look real good next week. Well, the Texans defense, particularly the passing defense, makes everybody look spectacular. And let me tell you, man, I'm glad the Texans won, but there were a lot of plays left on the field by Trevor Lawrence. I mean, a lot. They had some

open dudes that he overthrew. I know, My God. So anyway. All right. We'll watch some more foosball and we will reconvene as the beers continue to flow. What the fuck are the Bills doing running these stupid, wacky-ass trick plays? They're running the ball well. They're throwing the ball well.

They're moving it down the field. They got it cut to freaking 11. And then they try to run some bullshit trick play with Josh Allen who got his ass lit up. And now Buffalo or Baltimore is about to do it. Then at 44, Humphrey almost took your boy out who you still need seven yards from. I don't know. Is he okay? He fell down pretty hard. 44, no reason to shove him. No, I don't think what happened to him was like an injury from the fall. I think he got poked in the eye or something on that play, but now Derrick Henry's marching down the field,

so the Bills have their chance. You're stupid. You are absolute morons. Your trick plays are dumb, and I still need this dickhead Josh Allen to throw for 107 more yards. You still need a couple other things to happen. You'd also need passing yards from lamar who at this point who knows yeah it's not looking good well you know what we'll keep you guys posted

still drinking beers meat's still on the smoker might be about time for it to come off uh we'll see but uh that bill's fucking morons i don't even know if they're gonna leave josh allen in the game now that it's 35 to 10. I do feel horrible for these people that got knocked out by this hurricane though. That's terrible. And those are like, again, we don't know a lot of these people there or whatever, but like, like we have been to that area, you know, over in North Carolina and stuff, not trying to, you know, make you feel sad on this drunken podcast, but like we've taken Luther to the cabin up there in that area. And we've been like all these old towns they're showing that are flooded like we've been there north in ashville ashville such a great little town

we drive through like that whole route we've done it a million times it makes me so sad because like luther loved that place i know we loved ashville there's breweries on every corner dude ashville is the shit great little town great breweries got a little baseball park down there they got a minor league team ah that sucks man and as someone you know like I bat I didn't live in Baton Rouge well I mean I did but when I lived in Baton Rouge and Katrina happened in New Orleans I didn't experience that because we didn't get that in Baton Rouge like Baton Rouge never got knocked out totally by a storm like this, at least in my experience living there. So to see something like that. Now, we did live in Houston,

obviously. It's crazy, though, because you're in Asheville. With that elevation and how far inland it is, you don't think that can happen. Which makes it worse, because you're like, okay, it's going to rain. What is this? It's insane. Yeah, it sucks, man.

I feel bad for those people. It's just a good area know when we lived in nashville that was relatively easy drive you know to go to north carolina and stuff north carolina is a great place um so but uh yeah that sucks to see that and i see they're doing like the red cross stuff and shit like that but uh anyway so uh nights winding down here is uh baltimore it looks like Jilly's parlay is not going to hit because she needs two more yards from the doof that dropped the touchdown in the end zone. So she would have hit that. But Lamar is not going to have to throw anymore. I got a chance for Josh Allen to hit, but I need this pass to be completed. And it was.

And it hit Kincaid right in the solar plexus, and he dropped it. So the odds are I'm not going to get my over in this. So I basically broke even for the day and broke even for the weekend actually i was up a little on the weekend because friday i made a lot of shitty bets on like ukrainian hockey i was just sitting around and you gotta stop going to illinois in the middle of the day it's i view it as my job so um but like so i made a bunch of shitty bets on that, so I was down on Friday. Then on the weekend, I bounced back, and I was a couple of things away from having a huge weekend. Like, for example, Baltimore winning this.

I called Baltimore in my parlay. The thing that cost me an $800 hit in a parlay was the fucking Jets. Fuck Aaron Rodgers. I know I've said this a couple times today. Fuck Aaron Rodgers. Aaron was good. Oh oh no I Aaron what they they scored nine fucking points like 225 passing yards who gives a fuck fuck him fuck uh what's his name uh Greg uh Zerline fuck him too fuck them all cost me that play losing to

Denver Denver's trash Bo Nix is trash Sean Pay Payton's trash. And you dicks couldn't score more than nine points against these assholes to win the damn game for me, and I would have hit that. And if Cam Akers' dumb ass would have scored a touchdown, I would have hit about a $700 play on that as well. And congrats to Buffalo for conceding here. They're like, I was going to punt on fourth and then we're going to throw four deep balls and then punt. So fuck you, Josh Allen. I hope the Texans knock your pecker off this next weekend. but I am making a bold prediction. I feel like Keon Coleman, you and I have been talking about this, Keon Coleman of Buffalo is going to torch the Texans secondary. I don't know what his longest reception is going to be. I'll take that, and he's going to have 100-plus against the Texans

secondary next week, because that Texans back in didn't do too well. And these guys are probably going to be a little pissed off. I feel like Josh Allen can throw it a little better than Trevor Lawrence. Trevor missed on so many of those deep balls. Josh isn't going to miss. No, I agree. Look, Texans may still win. I hope they do. I'm not trying to talk shit about them here.

But they give up a lot of big plays. How many big plays? Yes, this is obviously we're rooting for the Texans, but for my strictly gambling purpose, I'm probably taking Coleman for a Tud as well next week. He might just be the trifecta. Tuds, yards, longest reception, all of them. Let's see.

Let me look at the box score from the Texans game and see what the longest receptions were today. There were a ton of long receptions. Obviously our boy uh Brian Thomas he did the damn thing like we said he would but uh let's see here Texans and Jaguars and by the way uh Trevor Lawrence missed on a couple of those he had a couple walk-in touchdowns that he missed so like I agree with Doug Peterson like he's probably gonna get fired at some point here soon. They're 0-4. But, like, people are talking all about how Doug Peterson called out the team. He said, I think my coach has made good play calls.

Players got to make the plays. And they're like, oh, he's going to lose the team. Like, you have to have some level of self-awareness if you're a player. And you have to know when you fucked up. When you're seeing dudes wide open and you can't hit them, that's not on the coach. That's on you. Like, I've always felt that way about things in my job. Like, I know when I fucked up, but I can also tell you when I need to have some self-awareness when someone else fucked up or I fucked up or whatever.

I'm trying to think, too. I feel like I don't know the Jaguars very well, but I feel like they don't have, like, a real head case, though. Like, for example, CJGJ. Now, if that was his coach, imagine the chaos. He'd have that whole locker room turned against him in a second. Or like Darius Slay, who has to go to his Twitter to be like, here's all my stats and my accomplishments in my career after we just got pecker slapped by Tampa.

I don't know that the Jaguars have a guy that's like, fuck this. We're like revolting. You know, like I don't know them well enough to know that, i don't know that they do but back to cj gj yeah he's a doofus too um but so like brian thomas had a 32 yard reception today i think he also had a 19 yard reception so he's a a big one um christian kirk had a 20 yard catch as well and i think it was k Kirk who got overthrown a couple times today. So like there's going to be big plays. So yeah, I think that Keon Coleman, my boy from Opelousas, Louisiana, over in Acadiana, I think he's gonna have a big day against the Texans. So I don't think my boy is going to throw for his yards tonight. So God, that's terrible. Boy, Buffalo.

God, I'm so pissed at the Jets. And they fucked up the first time. Then they got the ball back and got in the field goal range and fucked it up again. God, I hate it. God, good for you. Stupid Jets and stupid Aaron Rodgers. We also talked about the Travis Kelsey t-shirts today. How absurd was that?

Did you see this? Did you see this? All their receivers were wearing Kelsey t-shirts today. How absurd was that? Did you see this? All their receivers were wearing Kelsey t-shirts because they were being mean to him. Oh, fuck off. The dude just sucks. And he had a big day today, but he still sucked. I predicted that, but you would have thought he had cancer or something. Yes. It looked like the t-shirts you wear when your boy got plugged and there's a funeral party for him.

It was absurd. I mean mean i guess it worked hey and by the way you made the choice to to fuck olive oil and now you you have to deal with the the whole situation like that's how this goes bro like you made that choice and now you deal with it it ain't i mean you look you don't want to deal with all this heat keep fucking those hot ass chicks you used to bang before you decided to start sticking your dick in Taylor Swift, you putz. I was hoping our neighbors were outside for that. Can you imagine someone on the other side of the fence listening to two drunks yammer on about Taylor Swift's vagina? Well, not related to Taylor Swift's vagina,

but I'm still laughing at last night because I think our neighbors to the other side now think we're really big Alabama fans. Because when Milrow threw that Ted, we're like, yes! And then, yeah, so there's that. Might as well put up the Roll Tide flag in the house now. We won't. Come on, make a stop, Buffalo.

Oh, Jesus. Not that it matters. I mean, the game's over, but Josh Allen not throwing for his yards. He's going to have 400 against the Texans next week. 400. Over three. He looks dead on the bench. That's a great shot.

I know he's probably looking at the. His soul is dead. He's been crushed. Oh, God. And the only thing he hasn't done is thrown the pick. I was wrong on that. I thought he'd throw a pick. My interception predictions weren't great other than Jane Daniels. And it's not like. But I said Jane Daniels would throw a pick because I thought he'd throw a pick My interception predictions weren't great Other than Jaden Daniels and it's not like

But I said Jaden Daniels would throw a pick Because I thought he'd suck today or at least be worse Because the whole world's blown him he just threw a pick Because he took a shot down the field Like I don't even deserve to be right on that You know what sucks? Allen's got 180 yards He only needs like 50 something more Like leave him in the game

Leave him in the game Look DeMar Hamlin told you that pass is incomplete and he died on the field you gotta listen to him anyway i tell you let's see if that was a catch or not that is i think oh that's big that's in review it let's go that's incomplete listen i need this to be incomplete i know the game's over it's totally incomplete come on review that like we can all look at that replay and see it let's challenge it oh they okay good it's it is funny to challenge a play in a 35 to 10 game but oh geez i tell you life man life drop pass. It ultimately won't matter, but yes.

Maybe. Lamar only needs like 40 yards. Look, there's a chance he throws one bomb here, and then yes, that would be the case. That is not a catch. That is obviously not a catch. So I need Buffalo to get the ball back, and I need Josh Allen to go out there and sling a little bit. Please do, Josh.

You're my best friend. I have a question. Yep. Are we drinking tomorrow too? I mean, we friend. I have a question. Yep. Are we drinking tomorrow, too? I mean, we can. There's beer in the fridge. I mean, I need to start kind of easing back into some mixed drinks and shit, because I think the only reason I keep gaining weight is because I sit around all day and drink beer.

It's light beer, but it's beer nonetheless. So I think I might need to start doing, like, some vodka waters again. Maybe. We can go get you some water tomorrow. What do we need? We have vodka. We have water. That's true.

So we've got a doubleheader tomorrow, and I've got to go put our bets in tomorrow. And then you've got the Astros, who are favored in that series, so I can't take them to win the series. Although I could parlay some series wins. That's a solid one. So the Astros, how many series have they put up so far i mean obviously not the one oh yeah because you still know yeah that's true there's only four series so yeah that makes sense uh and well you know we can go bet on those baseball games tomorrow i don't want to but uh i want to get the football bets in tomorrow we toyed with the idea of like ubering to a bar in illinois but that just seems expensive yeah

between the ubers and the amount of beer we'd buy there when we have like a perfectly good fridge full of beer here and now probably water and vodka and lemons for you listen i love live betting but i don't love it enough to take an uber over to illinois and sit at a random bar and spend money on food so i think we should just maybe when people listen to this, should we do another one of these tomorrow? Should we sit outside again and do another drink? That'll be our third consecutive day because I know I mentioned this hours ago when we started this. I don't even remember doing this drunk one on Saturday.

Like, I was super drunk on that one. The shots got me. Hey, you guys can let us know. You can send me a message and let me know if you want another drunken one. And then we've got to do the Astros on Tuesday, but they play at 1.30, so that's not going to be a – I might never be done working at 1.30. My ass will just be sitting at home,

fresh off of betting on Ukrainian soccer or something, ready to go. All right, so we'll probably wrap it up here, I guess, unless Josh Allen, if he gets the ball back and wants to throw for his yards, I will resume. If not, this could be the end of this. But if you hear me again, it means my play has a chance or Jilly's play has a chance. We will, well, you'll find out. All right, so I'm not going to hit the Josh Allen passing yardage over. First of all, I hate that they make these guys blink when they put their graphic up.

It's weird but also like why would you challenge a play in a game that you clearly don't care about winning if you're going to take your quarterback out like if you're gonna if like you planned on taking the quarterback out you've conceded the game anyway which is fine why did you even challenge that pass you're assholes geez anyway this bullshit so i basically broke even today i mean it could have been a lot worse but it's still bullshit and like the like so what's the difference between seven minutes to go in the game down 25 and 10 minutes to go in the game down 25 why don't you just take alan out 20 minutes ago dicks that's why you're never to win shit. Let me tell you about the Buffalo Bills as an organization and Josh Allen in particular. Some people are just born losers.

Born loser. He's a nice person probably, but he's a loser. Like, yeah, does he fuck Haley Steinfeld? Yeah. You know how I know you're a loser? She's now a loser. So like you've ruined her. She was well on her way to becoming the next Taylor Swift. She was in Pitch Perfect. Oh, Trubitsky almost threw a pick. But, like, let me tell you something. She was on her way to being the next Taylor. She had, like, that one song.

She was in Pitch Perfect. She could have been a big star, but she was ruined by your loserness, Josh Allen. Your loser stench rubbed off on Hailee Steinfeld, and now nobody even knows where she is. She's out of sight, out of mind. She's on a milk cart and she's missing because of you. No, she's just in Buffalo. Well, that might as well be witness protection. So that's

your fault, Josh Allen. You're never going to win anything in consequence because you suck and you've ruined Haley Steinfeld just like Taylor ruined Travis. Oh, good. Good job. I'm glad you brought in Trubisky to go three and out. Well, just like Taylor ruined Travis. Oh, good. Good job. I'm glad you brought in Trubisky to go three and out.

Well, that's what he does. I mean, that's pretty much all Mitch does. Fucking Mitch. Tell you what. Anyway, so that's a bullshit end of the night. Really, there's a couple of bullshit games that if they would have gone a couple yards the other way, I would have been in great shape. Well, obviously.

78 receiving yards. Yeah, that's your boy. He took him for two catches. He eclipsed that mightily. Yes. But it doesn't change the fact that I'm also... Look, I needed three yards from Pat Mahomes to have a hit. I needed ten yards from Andy Dalton to have a hit.

And I needed the fucking Jets to win. If they would have won, I would have won $700. If those three things would have won, I would have won $700. If those three things would have happened, that would have been a difference of like $1,100 or $1,200. Do we think Derrick Henry's in the game just to get to 200 rushing yards? Yes, there's absolutely no reason for him or Lamar to be in the game. Like, what, Lamar's out.

Is that Lamar? No, that's number 17, whoever he is. But Derrick Henry's in the game. He's got 196. Yeah, he wants that two bills. Yep, that's what it is so anyway so we'll get uh fuck i don't know that's bullshit anyway wait that dude's been around forever wow he's 38 where did he play in college? Where did Josh Johnson go to college? He went to Tennessee, right? No. All right. Let me see. Look it up really quick. Josh Johnson. I'm going to try. Where did Josh Johnson go to college? Shit. I don't know.

I don't want Derrick Henry to get hurt, but if you're looking for any sort of street justice here, like they're trying to get Henry to 200. These are the kind of things when you're stat-gobbling like you're doing. This is where you blow out a knee. San Diego, I wouldn't have guessed that. Who the fuck would have guessed that? Oh, well, it makes sense.

He played for Jim Harbaugh at St. Nant. There's all the details you need. I'm just going to let you know. I'm not rooting for injury. I like Derek Henry seems like a nice guy. But you're being greedy looking for this rushing total, and this is where bad things happen. Your history list is impressive, though.

Let's look at all the teams Josh Johnson played for. The Tampa Bucks, the 49ers, which I think he was on the practice squad, Sacramento Mountain Lions, the Cleveland Browns, the Cincinnati Bengals, the 49ers, the Bengals, the New York Jets, the Indianapolis Colts, the Buffalo Bills, those three teams.

Oh, sorry, four teams in one year. The Baltimore Ravens, the New York Giants, the Houston Texans. Boy, he was part of that era. He was in that 2017. Oakland Raiders, Washington Redskins, San Diego Fleet, the Detroit Lions, the Los Angeles Wildcats, the San Francisco 49ers, the New York Jets, the Baltimore Ravens, the Denver Broncos, the San Francisco 49ers, and the Baltimore Ravens.

Now the fun game will be to see how many passes he's actually thrown in the NFL, like all these teams. more Ravens. Now the fun game will be to see how many passes he's actually thrown in the NFL. Like all these teams. He has thrown, this is great. He's thrown a grand total of 355 passes and thrown 13 touchdowns and 16 picks over all those years he's been in the league and all the teams he's played for. How about that? Good for him. Victory for you, bro. All right. Let's get the hell out of here because I got to watch my wrestling show. Got a couple episodes left. I told you guys I got retweeted by Mike O'Malley. Not a big deal. I know you're jealous. All right. We'll see you guys.