The Josh Innes Show - Texans Blast Cowboys and Coaches I Hate

Episode Date: November 19, 2024

The Texans beat the hell out of the Cowboys. It was nice to see them actually win big. Did we learn anything from this game? Also, it's crazy to think the the next month and a half of football means very little to the Texans in terms of the playoff picture. We take an early look at the week 12 lines. When I was drunk on Sunday, I made a list of NFL Head Coaches that I hate. I don't remember doing this. Jilly has reminded me. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

When planning for life's most important moments, sometimes the hardest part is simply knowing where to start. That's why we're here to help. When you pre-plan and pre-pay a celebration of life with us, every detail will be handled with simplicity and professionalism, giving you the peace of mind that you've done all you can today to remove any burden from your loved ones tomorrow. We are your local Dignity Memorial provider. Find us at DignityMemorial.ca. The Dignity Memorial brand name is used to identify a network of licensed funeral cremation and cemetery providers owned and operated by affiliates of Service Corporation International. Howdy, Jamokes.

It's about 10.42 p.m. Monday night. Just watched the Texans beat the shit out of the Cowboys. Game was a little close there for a little bit. I mean, I say it was close. It was a 10-point game in the fourth quarter, but you get a defensive touchdown. Then finally, an offensive touchdown in the second half for the first time in 23 or 24 possessions in the second half. You get one, so there you go.

A game that I don't think anybody thought the Texans were going to lose at any point during the game. But it was a little close for comfort, but at no point did I ever think they were going to lose at any point during the game. But not, it just, it was a little close for comfort, but at no point did I ever think they were going to lose the game. They didn't lose the game. And here they are victorious over Dallas, who was just an absolute mess. They lose every game at home by like 20 or so points. So that's where we are right now. It's weird because this isn't one of those games where you can really learn a lot when you see it, right? Like you play it and you're like, well, you should beat the shit

out of the bad Cowboys because every team they've played in Dallas has beaten the shit out of them, right? So there's that. And then you look at the fact that like you should beat the shit out of them. If you would have lost this game or played way too close, it comes down to the last drive, then people would be super critical of you. But beating the shit out of the Cowboys doesn't really do much because you were supposed to beat the shit out of them. You're a seven-point favorite. You beat them by 24. So again, what can you learn from this? I don't really know, but they did the job they were supposed to do. They played a good football game, gave up a lot of passing yards, which whatever, it is what it is. They could have had four or five turnover takeaways in the game. I mean, they had their hands on a lot of footballs there and just weren't able to make all the plays

defensively, but they could have had four or five turnovers like they did last week against Detroit. But I guess if you're looking for something you could learn, what you could learn from this game is they've had a rough couple of weeks. They had a terrible loss at the Jets in a primetime game. So they are clearly capable of losing games that they should not lose to bad teams that should not beat them. And they did do that a couple of weeks ago. Then they have a meltdown of epic proportions last week against Detroit. Then what do they do today? They come out from the jump and played a really good football game. They moved the ball offensively. CJ over 250, mixing three tuds and well over 100 all-purpose yards.

Nico getting into the mix early, had a long touchdown taken off the board. He looks fine. You got Tank, and Tank becomes a much better player when Nico is there. Schultz has five catches. It's amazing what happens when Nico is there. Schultz has five catches. It's amazing what happens when 12 is on the field. So if you were looking for something that you learned today, it's that when you get Nico back on the field, things get a whole lot better. And I know that that's obvious, but just look at it. Tank gets a lot more open looks. Schultz, five catches.

The running lanes open up and just they're gaping holes seemingly for Mixon and when it's not a gaping hole Mixon's bouncing to the outside making something happen everything is better when 12 is on the field it's weird to say he's a secret weapon because he doesn't get that love that Jamar gets or Justin gets or you know those kind of guys but he's kind of an unknown little under the radar guy to a lot of people he's a fucking stud and that changes things CJ was under duress a whole lot less today so just a badass win for them again you're supposed to beat the Cowboys the Cowboys are terrible but you did the job you beat them by 24 a comfortable win which we don't see a lot of

from the Texans a lot of their games are 24-21, 23-20 types. So to go out there and win the game they won today, pretty comfortable, never in real great doubt, making big plays defensively, should have had more turnovers. Good win. Exciting, just, again, solid win. Now, as you move forward, you've got two very winnable games coming up that should get you to eight wins

then you start getting to that point when you're in December and you got Kansas City and the Ravens and those are prove-it games those games will tell us whether or not the Texans can legitimately play in the playoffs and beat teams or if they're just a team that can beat up on shitty teams so that's what we're going to learn from that. CJ was great defensively. They got after the quarterback a lot tonight. So what if he threw for a ton of yards? You held him to 10 points. So there you go. Jilly, how you feel about the Texans today?

I'm glad they finally kind of beat the shit out of somebody. I was sick of being stressed in the fourth quarter. That seems to be every Texans game. But yeah, that was good. Now they need to beat the shit out of the Titans and beat the shit out of the Jaguars. And I'll be impressed. I said eight wins. That'll get you to nine wins if you win those games.

And also importantly in this is that you keep the Colts at an arm's length. The Colts got the upset win yesterday. I say upset win. It was against the Jets. Is it really an upset? But they got that win that kept them one game back, and of course you've beaten them twice, so it was really two games, but now it remains about three games back. So they're not going to catch you. You're going to win the division. There's not a lot. We're going to learn from

these guys when they play the Titans. There's not a lot. We're going to learn from these guys when they play the Jaguars, just go out there and handle your business, get your business done, win those games. And then let's see what you can do. I, you know, Miami's coming up on the schedule and Miami's better than they were a month ago because they've got Tua back. So you have to look at that. But December's going to be interesting when you have these games against the Ravens

and you've got a game against the Chiefs and those are going to be games where all eyes are on you to see if we can really believe in who you are moving forward. Good stuff today, though. I think also I don't know how close we are to getting Will Anderson back, but I mean, let's give him the next two weeks.

Let's get him 100%. No need to rush him back. You should be able to handle Jacksonville and Tennessee without him. You should. Let's get him right, ready to go for that tough stretch. I don't think you need to rush getting him back. No. I mean, look, get everything right here. Get your mind right. Just don't go out and have a letdown against these teams again here's

what's interesting somebody said this on a national show the other day and when I heard it I was like well that's kind of dumb but then again it's not and the point was that the Texans almost like what are they now nine and no sorry they're seven and four so they're seven and four they have six games to go right so they're seven and four and he goes it's weird but the Texans are essentially kind of playing for nothing and it's true because they're gonna end up more than likely and they can't get the bye I mean it's impossible there are three games behind Kansas City for the bye so they're not gonna get the bye and then they'd still have to catch teams like Pittsburgh, teams like the Ravens who have, you know,

they need to get one here at some point, but I still think the Ravens are a better team. But, like, you're basically locked into either third or fourth, right? You're not going to be the number one, and you're not going to be the number two. I think you're basically locked into four. Well, not necessarily because the Ravens, well, because, oh, I'm wrong. I'm wrong.

You're right. I was thinking about the Ravens and the Steelers, but they're in the same division. So yeah, Buffalo. No, you're right. So you're, you're fourth. So they are locked into fourth and they're not going to lose the division. So they're locked into fourth. They can't be the first. It's just a weird spot to be in. You got six weeks to go. And unless you have a massive collapse, lose six games in a row, you're not going to lose your division so we were talking about yesterday what sucks about being the four is you're going to end up playing a really good Baltimore team or a really good Pittsburgh team yeah because one of those two teams will be the the top wild card yeah unless something just

falls apart but if you look around the AFC there's nobody in the AFC East that's going to emerge they're they're all terrible other than the Bills there's nobody in the AFC East that's going to emerge they're all terrible other than the Bills there's nobody in the AFC South that's going to emerge and be the second wild card maybe the Chargers but I don't know if I buy them yet either I don't I good they beat the Bengals last night guess what a lot of teams find ways to beat the Bengals because of their dipshit kicker that keeps screwing over Joe and keep screwing over Jamar that Bengals team should have two or three more wins. And because of the fact they don't, they're probably going to miss the playoffs now. But if you look at the situation you're in now, I see that this is like the Bengals are

probably not going to get in. So what you're looking at now is a team like, as you put the Chargers, who still have a lot of games. And by the way, the Broncos won yesterday. The Broncos have six wins now, right? Or five. Are they five? I think they're six and the way, the Broncos won yesterday. The Broncos have six wins now, right, or five. The Broncos have six.

They're six and five. So the Broncos are six and five. I don't think the Broncos are going to end up with the top wild card, but as it stands right now. I would put my money on Baltimore, Pittsburgh. Whoever doesn't win that division is going to have the top wild card. Correct. And Pittsburgh clearly has the upper hand now. So it's weird.

You're just kind of sitting here playing for nothing. Like, you want to win games, obviously, but you really want to focus on getting dudes healthy. You want to focus on being right for the playoffs, but you also want to see what you got. But, like, this Jacksonville game means nothing. The Titans game means nothing. I mean, like, you should beat these teams.

And if you win these next two weeks, you're pretty much – I mean, you're already almost guaranteed to win the division because you're essentially three games up on Indy but the Colts have the Lions this week coming up too so that's a loss correct so they'll be I mean look they're essentially three games ahead of them with six to play so yeah that's what I'm saying so you're two games up and you've beaten them twice so that's essentially three games like they're not going to catch you so if you win these next two and get to nine and four, your last, your last what four games of the year are going to be Miami. Who is it?

Look, that's not easy, but then you get the Ravens. Then you get the chiefs. Then you end with the Titans. Like if you're essentially guaranteed 10 wins, but again, it's weird because none of these games truly matter because you can't go up and you can't go down. You're just locked into where you are. I think the other unfortunate thing about that Chiefs-Ravens back-to-back is not only is it back-to-back, it is four days apart.

Yeah. But again, my point remains like – But you have to be competitive in those two games to have any sort of confidence getting into the playoffs. Well, sure. It's a fan. I want to see them play well and maybe split those if possible. But again, I don't want to get ahead of it because the last two weeks

we're talking about how bad this team is. They still have flaws. The penalties are ridiculous. Offensive line penalties are still a thing. They have issues. But at least in this game today, they remedied or at least looked like they remedied a lot of the issues. Getting Nico back is such a huge part of that.

Getting Nico in and getting him on the field is gigantic for what they try to do. It makes the life of CJ easier. It makes the life of the offensive line easier. He changes the game. He is huge for what they're doing. But all that said, even if you lose twice to the Ravens and the Chiefs and you end up with, I don't know, six losses on you, say you end up 11 and six or 10 and seven, like it doesn't really matter. Like, I don't want to see them go out there and get their dicks knocked off by those two teams. I want to see them get their asses kicked. You know, like I want them to go out and try to look, if you want to show that you're worth a shit, go win one of those games. Win two of them. Right. The Ravens are a beatable team. Like, I know I keep saying that they're a team that I believe can win the Super Bowl. And I do.

But they're clear. Look, Rusty Wilson went in there at home, mind you. But at home was able to go beat Baltimore. And that defense, which is probably better than the Texans at this point, their defense pretty much shut down the Ravens. And Rusty made plays when he had to. Look, I think CJ is better than fucking Rusty. And the weapons you have are better than the weapons that the than the uh the the Steelers have so like I think you can go in there and do something against them but even if

you don't it's like again you're just in a weird spot where winning doesn't really matter at this point because you're stuck yeah I mean unless something devastating happens to, like, Josh Allen, like, I don't foresee any way you can jump up to the three. I guess depending how the other teams play out, beating Baltimore could potentially keep you from having to play them in the playoffs. Yeah, but as you said, either way, you're going to face either Baltimore or Pittsburgh. I mean, unless the Chargers really go on a run. Which, maybe, but I mean, I don't know. Point being, and I'll look, well, no, but the Chargers really go on a run. Which maybe, but I mean, I don't know. Point being and all, well, no, but the Chargers aren't going to, I guess the Chargers could be

the top wild card, but yeah, it's just a weird spot for them to be in. And now they're going to go in. I think they're at home next week against the Titans. They'll win that. They should win that. And then you get the Jaguars. You should win that. And it's just a weird spot. Like I'm fine with it. I mean, look, I'd rather be sitting here as we are right now saying well we're pretty much guaranteed to go to the playoffs but the game next Monday actually will have a lot to do with that because it's Ravens Chargers so somebody's gonna have a tiebreaker over somebody yes and that'll be a good game too here's what we're gonna do then so let's do this I'm gonna play a couple commercials here from people who I have no fucking clue who they are I don't't place the commercials. They just show up. We'll do that. Let's look at some of the games

next week. I know that we looked at, you and I were talking about them last night, how bad it is, but is the schedule as bad as we think? We can look at some of the early lines in these games this weekend too. There are a couple matchups that are at least a little juicy, a little sexy. We'll do that. Texans obviously get the win tonight. So they're feeling good at seven and four. They're back on the right track. They finally, they didn't dominate from start to finish, but in the fourth quarter, they were able to shut them down. They got a fucking touchdown on offense in the second half finally. So they're looking good there. And we'll, we'll look at next week's lines after this from sponsors who I just, I don't have a fucking clue who they are.

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so uh let's see here uh by the way our bets today there were a couple of things that i nearly hit that were gigantic i had a near miss weekend man there were a couple of things that I nearly hit that were gigantic. I had a near-miss weekend, man. It was a weekend of just ball busters. Four, I think four games yesterday, four prop bets yesterday, missed by one singular yard. Justin Jefferson and one of his missed by one yard. A parlay with Justin Jefferson and Jamar Chase missed by one yard. I missed Jameer Gibbs by one yard. I missed a parlay tonight by like a yard or two.

Actually, it was probably like 17. But then I missed another one by five yards from Nico Collins. I missed the five from Nico too. So it's a ball buster. But hey, Texans won. Things are good. All right, what are uh lines looking like for actually we'll play the game I'll try to guess what these lines are you tell me the matchup I'll

try to guess the spread on this and uh again week another week in the books football's going by way too fucking fast the college season has like what three weeks left in it and my football team's dead and buried so like shit two weeks no well if you can't no the lsu still has three games to go no two shit well i mean it's a good thing i guess that it's uh you know it's over um because they're miserably bad and i hate them but it sucks like you sit there and it feels like when the season starts it's going to go on forever and then you blink and then the football you know college is damn near over my team ain't going to be playing in the goddamn playoff or anything so it's like it's over and then like then god i like i don't want to you know bother anyone with this but we're just a couple of months away from being six months without football and then what

do you do with like our drunken sundays what do we do bet on fucking baseball like real degenerates like goddamn peep fucking rose also you know it's a double whammy for you this time. What's that? Because when football ends is basically when your severance ends. Yep. So, I mean, that's a rough time. I'm going to have a tough go, but who knows? Maybe I'll have a job by then, LOL. Maybe. Who knows?

All right, tell me the matchup. I'll tell you the spread. Thursday night, week 12, starts with Steelers at Browns. Here's the thing about that. You would think the Steelers are Browns. Here's the thing about that. You would think the Steelers are going to be heavy fucking favorites because the Steelers are the best team in the division right now. They just beat the Ravens. Browns just went down to New Orleans and got beaten pretty good,

gave up like three touchdowns to Taysom Hill. But it's a Thursday, so it's a short week. It's at Cleveland. It's a division rivalry type thing. So it's going to be the spread is not going to be what you think it should be. I'm going to say it's on the road. I'm going to say Pittsburgh's favored, but only by like four or four and a half

by four. And I agree. I think the Browns could steal this one. I look I look that's James. Now James slung it. Remember the Steelers didn't score a touchdown yesterday. This is true, but the Browns went down to New Orleans and got their asses beat. So they have the magic coach who poops and clogs toilets now. That's true. My boy, they got Rizzy magic. That's true. But you know, win for the Steelers. They're due. They're due

for a letdown. And I feel like this AFC North is always crazy. It is. So if I'm Baltimore, I got my eyes on that one, obviously. But I still think the Steelers are going to win that. I think they're well coached, rusty. Like, I just love what they're doing right now. So I'm going to say that they're going to win that, but we'll see. That takes us to Sunday. Big, big noon matchup here. Chiefs at Panthers. That's going to be another one where you think the line should be huge. It's not going to be like four and a half like the steelers and browns but um because it's not a rivalry game or anything like that but i'm going to say that the chiefs coming off a big game that they played coming off a loss and a huge you know a semi rivalry game you know i'm going to say the chiefs are favored by nine and a half 11 okay that's still

a big line i'm guessing that's the biggest of the week if I had to guess but 11 is a big one there do we think that uh Travis gets more than eight yards in this one yes I don't think he's gonna go back-to-back games but you know sucking so um I don't know why he had to suck in this game last week when we picked him I think it's his bitch girlfriend oh by the way I also enjoy this story I read about how the Kelseys hated Bean. I'm pretty sure we talked about this yesterday. I'll say it again, goddammit. Shut the fuck up. You go out there with your goddamn shirt off, showing your titties to everybody, Jason Kelsey, and then you guys have the audacity to say that the people in Buffalo aren't good.

You're in fucking Philadelphia. I've seen some vile fucking shit from people in Philadelphia. So you cut the shit. Cut the shit, Kelsey. You pieces of shit. I'll say it again, which we said yesterday on the podcast. I'm sure if you go back and listen to the New Heights podcast, the weekend or whatever, like days after that Buffalo game,

Kelsey, Jason, is raving about the time he had. I'm certain of it. And I didn't even listen to that podcast. I'm with you. So you're now that you said that I do recall talking about that yesterday, but I will say it again that they're all full of shit. He started to get fuzzy before the night game even started. Well, look, I was fuzzy. I just, I don't remember everything. My brain doesn't always work, you know, like I was in the, I don't know. All I'm going to tell you is fuck them shitting on the people of Buffalo as if playing in front of the Philadelphia people is some sort of treat. They can all go to hell.

Not the Philly people. They're fine. Kelsey's Taylor Swift, whose bitch ass could even show up at the game so I could get my 70 receiving yards. Right. Anyway, next, then we have the Lions at the Colts. The Lions at the Colts. The Lions will be favored by, I think theirs is also going to be,

it's on the road. Colts aren't as bad as the Panthers. Eight and a half. Seven and a half. Okay. I can get down with that. I might take them to cover that. They're just monsters.

Just keep taking tuds from jameer gibbs and uh and and david montgomery just keep taking those then we have the vikings at the bears boy the bears that's another kind of rivalry thing division thing on the road vikings samuel dick darnold kind of sucks again yeah i'm gonna say five and a half vikings three and a half oh shit huh i'll be damn they're gonna win because the bears are just finding creative ways to lose their disaster so then we have the bucks at the giants that's tommy cutlets he's back they had to bench uh they had to bench homeboy because they don't want to pay him some sort of bonus or some shit gets hurt like i think they owe him 23 million if he were to get hurt and And they're like, nope. Before he can get out of the deal.

They're like, no sir, we're playing Tommy C, baby. Tommy Cutlet. Sit on the bench. And that's the Bucs. And that's at the Giants. Bucs, four and a half. Five. Okay, we're right on that when I get it. Patriots at Dolphins.

Dolphins, six. Seven.ins, six. Seven. Okay. Like, look, they're better than they were two or three weeks ago. Two is slinging it. They're moving the ball. They're getting Tyreek back into the mix because they have a legit quarterback in there again.

And the Patriots suck. So, I... I kind of like this Drake May, though. He's been one of my go-tos now for passing over because they're always so always so low but he's been pretty good well there's a little teaser for the old props till you drop baby maybe a drake may we get the dolphins can give up yards that's not really a huge thing there so possibly next titans at texans texans coming off of this one they're back at home titans are terrible texans seven eight okay and look you gotta win you just it's weird to say because it's like you wanted like it sucks to have six games left to go and there's no one to catch

that part of it sucks you know it's just like but they should win that thing we're just here yeah uh Will Levis had a good game the other day but I think the Texans should pick him apart I hope that look I think they we could be due for the Will Levi's interception from the Texans should pick him apart I hope that look I think they we could be due for the Will Levi's interception from the Texans keep that in mind for a little prop to you drop a teaser there still in the noon games here Cowboys at Commanders Commanders are going to be favored by seven ten and a half no shit look I don't think they're good but as we noted they had the tough game against the Eagles we circled that and said all right they play that game they're gonna lose that then they're gonna play i think they got the cowboys and the they might have to play the giants twice i mean they their shitty division

like the commanders are going and they start to play the eagles again i think the commanders are going to win four or five more at least four more games oh yeah they're gonna be in because their schedule sucks so bad they're going to beat shitty teams. Yeah, the NFC kind of blows. Well, yeah, it does. But the point is their schedule fucking sucks. So they're not going to win the division. They had their chance to do that against the Eagles.

They didn't do it. But for the most part, I think out of their last six games or however many they have left, like four of them are against, like, the Giants and the fucking – like, they've got winnable games on their schedule. So I think that the Commander skins, they might have. They've got the Cowboys, as we just said. Then they've got the Titans.

I think they have the Cowboys twice. They do have the Cowboys twice. They end against the Cowboys, too. Wine burp. They have the Cowboys, the Titans, both at home. Then they go to the Saints. Again, winnable game. Then they host the Birds. They host the Falcons and they go to the Saints. Again, winnable game. Then they host the Birds.

They host the Falcons and they go to the Cowboys. So they're winning three or four more games. So they're going to be a 10 win team, but they're going to be a 10 win team that gets in the playoffs and gets fucking bounced. All right, next. We move on to the afternoon games, which start with Broncos at Raiders. Broncos are due for a loss, but it won't be against the Raiders, unfortunately. So the Broncos are going to win that one. Broncos are going to be favored by six and a half. Five and a half. Alrighty.

I hate them, so fuck them. This takes us to a good one, potentially. 49ers at Packers. 49ers at Packers. I will say that the Packers are favored by two and a half. Exactly. Though I think they really got lucky against the Bears. They didn't really get lucky.

They got super fucking lucky. They should have fucking lost. The 49ers are kind of a mess, and I don't know what's going on with Brock Purdy. He's got shoulder soreness, and he's day to day. He also has a case of he fucking sucks. That being said, I could see the 49ers with the upset here oh i it wouldn't be much of an upset either uh but i love the packers i love jordan love i love love um so um i hope they win that one because i really hate the 49ers with a passion they annoy me their coach looks like a rat and I hate them then we have another good one at 325 Cardinals at Seahawks

Seahawks are coming off a big win over the Niners my man Gino he's got look there's gonna be passing yards and that when Gino's gonna go bang bang bang he's gonna throw deep balls to my boy my man Jackson Smith and Jigba his passing yardage is going to be 50-something again, and he's going to get them because that's what he does. I'm going to say that another one where I think Seattle is going to be slightly favored, like two and a half. They're actually underdogs. Really? So like one and a half?

One, basically. Okay, gotcha. And then we have the night game, which is the Eagles at the Rams. Ooh, I like this one a lot. The Eagles are going to be favored by three. Yep right so the eagles are favored by three and um i like that game look that's my man staffy bombs puka look out baby puka catching bombs cup catching bombs let's go the eagle secondary is pretty good oh it is but i still think i mean they don't do anything else but throw so i mean they're to stack some yards in that one.

Again, the Eagles are just kind of quietly winning games. They're flying under the radar. They're 8-2. No one's really talking about them. And I don't think they're going to win the Super Bowl because I don't like the quarterback. But I still think they're, again, as bad as things were a month and a half ago, they've righted the ship in this thing. And things have kind of calmed down.

And they're winning games. I really do think we're headed towards an eagles lions nfc championship that'd be something uh it's very possible um and then monday night no wait sun yeah that was sunday night monday night we talked about it the ravens and the chargers and oh the uh ravens that's at the chargers that's gonna be another one where like the Ravens are favored by like two three okay and I hope the Chargers you know I'm kind of enjoying watching the Ravens lose I like Herbert dude Herbert's out here

swagging man he's playing well that game last night I like Herbert a lot so and I really hate Harbaugh but I hate both Harbaugh's look I'll take I like the Ravens Harbaugh over drunkenly going throughbaughs. Which one? Look, I'll take, I like the Ravens Harbaugh. Do you remember drunkenly going through the list of coaches you actually hate last night? No.

Did we do that on the pod? No. So I just. Just outside. So which coaches do I actually hate when I'm like 20 beers deep? I think you only, actually you said you only legitimately. Oh, I think I remember. I think it was like five.

You said you hated all the coaches, but then you did the math and you realized you only actually hate five did. Oh, I think I remember. I think it was like five. Yep, you said you hated all the coaches, but then you did the math, and you realized you only actually hate five coaches. Well, that's the thing. So normally what happens for me is I'll see a coach on TV, and my first instinct is to say, God, I fucking hate that guy. Yeah. But I hate Sean Payton. Well, let's go through that.

Okay, here we go. Okay. All right, the Buffalo coach, Sean McDermott. Don't really give a shit about him. He's just a playoff loser, but I don't hate him. Mike McDaniel. Oh, I love Mike McDaniel. I don't hate him at all.

Guy who coaches the Jets. Oh, Albright right now. That guy. I hated the other guy. I hated Sala, but I like this guy because he's got a beautiful fucking gray and like salt and pepper beard that's well manicured. Just a gorgeous beard with like tan skin. I like him

and uh gerard mayo i i couldn't tell you one thing about him so i don't hate him because he's irrelevant there's no reason to hate some irrelevant putts josh hates no coaches in the afc east correct uh mike tomlin oh who dude i i want to fucking hug that man's neck beautiful beard aviators badass uh like i'd argue he's my favorite fucking coach in the league uh jim harbaugh i know john who coaches the ravens which one john i don't hate john harbaugh i'm okay with john harbaugh and if it was like if i had to like save like if if two harbaughs were choking and i can only give the heimlich to one of them it would be be John Harbaugh. So I don't hate John Harbaugh. I'm fine with him.

He's a hard-on, but not the kind of hard-on that his dumbass brother is. Who's the one that played for the Bears? That would be Jim Harbaugh. I don't think John Harbaugh played professionally. Jim was the quarterback of the Bears and the Colts. They beat the Chiefs in a playoff game one year when Jim Harbaugh. And Jim appeared in an episode of Saved by the Bell, the new class. OK, nice.

Zach Taylor. I don't hate him either, but like he probably going to get fired because they're a mess there. But I don't seem to hate him. So that look, he knows you don't. He knows him better than I do. So Kevin Stefanski. I think I hate Kevin Stefanski. He annoys me.

Like his look, his face. And I really hate him because he had to go over there and make it a point to go hug this fucking Anthony Richardson and let him know he's a good football player. Why have we got to coddle these dipshits? So I hate Kevin Stefanski. So you hate one in the AFC North. So far I hate one coach. Yes. No, two.

No, one. Kevin Stefanski. Yes. You said you didn't mind Zach Taylor. Yep. D'Amico. Love D'Amicoico okay shane uh steichen is it i couldn't tell you like if you put shane steichen up in a lineup and i had to pick him in my life depended on it i could not tell you what the fuck shane steichen looks like therefore i'm gonna say i'm fine with shane steichen how can i hate someone

if i don't even know what they look like? Brian Callahan. Same thing. If you put Brian Callahan up on TV, I mean, he could have been Tommy Callahan for all I fucking know, so no clue. I guess I don't hate him. Doug Peterson. I don't even, no, I kind of like Doug. I think he had, I'm fine with him. I don't hate him.

He looks goofy, but I don't hate him. You hate nobody in the AFC South then. All right. You can only hate then one coach in the AFC. No. All right. You only hate then one coach so far. One coach in the AFC. No shit. No, wait. We've only.

Oh, yeah. We still have another. The AFC West. There's Andy Reid. Oh, love Andy Reid. Then there's Jim Harbaugh. Hate Jim Harbaugh with passion. Okay.

So there's two coaches I hate. Sean Payton. Hate Sean Payton. So there's three. Guy who coaches the Raiders. Oh, that's Pierce. I don't mind him either. I mean, he's just a waste.

If you believe the rumors, it could soon be Mike Vrabel. I hate Mike Vrabel. He doesn't count yet, though. I hate him. I hate him preemptively for whoever he eventually coaches next. I hate Vrabel. So a total of, I think, four coaches you hate, and there are three coaches you hate.

Three in the AFC, two of which are in the AFC West. All right. That brings us to Nick Sirianni. Despise Nick Sirianni. I hate the look of him. He's a hard-on. I hate the way he talks. I hate his haircut.

I hate his stupid gestures to the crowd and everything. Hate Nick Sirianni. He's on the Mount Rushmore maybe of all-time hated coaches. Dan Quinn is the coach of the Commanders, correct? Yeah, I don't mind Dan Quinn. He wears his hat backwards on the sideline like a douche. Like, you're the head coach, bro. You look like a tool.

But I don't hate him, I don't think. Okay, the Cowboys coach, McCarthy. I don't hate him either. I kind of pity him at this point. Brian Dable. Despise Brian Dable. I hate the look of him. And I like him even less now that he's skinny.

He's clearly either on the Jaro or on the Zempik, which is fine because I am too, brothers. Well, Jaro bros. But the look of him fucking bothers me. I fucking hate him. So he's on my list of coaches I hate. Yes, Brian Dable. Dan Campbell. Sorry, I got my, wait, wait.

Did I get my, no, Dan Campbell I love. I was getting Dan Campbell and Dan Quinn mixed up. Dan Campbell I love. He's adorable. He's fun. Who's the Vikings coach? Isn't that, that guy, is his name Kevin something? Yes, Kevin something.

Kevin O'Connell. Oh, Kevin O'Connell. Oh, you know what? Earlier I confused Kevin Stefanski with Kevin O'Connell. Kevin O'Connell was the jamoke that was hugging Anthony Richardson. Kevin O'Connell. No. So honest to God, I don't know what Kevin Stefanski looks like.

So I don't hate Kevin Stefanski. We take back the hate of Kevin Stefanski. We hate Kevin O'Connell. So we got my Kevins mixed up. Kevin O'Connell of the Vikings is who I hate. So he annoys me. So now we're down to two coaches you hate in the AFC they're both in the AFC West correct and well we're up to one two three

in the NFC so there's five and there's the Green Bay coach shows at the floor yeah he's kind of a douche but I don't mind him he's fine Eberflus I thought Eberflus was really turned the corner when he got his hair did and got a new beard, but I don't hate him. That's the thing about, like, I pity him. Like, he's a loser, so I don't hate him. Okay. The Falcons coach. Oh, wow. Is that Raheem Morris?

Raheem Morris. Yeah. I don't mind Raheem Morris. He's another one of those cool-looking black dudes, you know? When he coached Tampa, he was pretty, you know, kind of cool, and they had a good year, and then they fired him eventually. I don't him he's pretty smooth looking i like him so i don't hate him todd bowles todd bowles i don't hate either but like he's just kind of there like he has the same look on his face all the time this look of bewilderment all the time um he seems like kind of a badass dude not a very good coach at this point but like I don't hate him Rizzy I hate him and I hate him

because the Saints are gonna eventually fucking hire him because they're lazy cunts that don't want to go on hire a real coach and fire the GM so we're gonna be stuck with this guy who everyone loves because they've beaten two shitty teams and he clogged the fucking toilet at the Superdome fuck I hate him it's not his fault he seems like a decent enough guy the fans of New Orleans have made me hate that son of a bitch so I hate him the Carolina Panthers coach don't know who it is let's find out you could give me

a million fucking tries and I couldn't tell you the coach of the Carolina Panthers not a fucking clue Dave Canellas once again if you put Dave Canellas right in front of me and he's like for a million dollars tell me who I am I'd be like I don't know who the fuck you are bro I don't know you who are you

let's see Sean from the Rams Sean McVay I like Sean McVay his hair is weird and it's got the little thing in the front and it seems very kind of hard and plasticky and he fucked my team out of a Super Bowl.

But I don't hate him because I like the Rams and I like him and Stafford. So, yeah. Do you know the coach of the Arizona Cardinals? It's not Cliff anymore. I honestly, God, don't. It's Jonathan Gannon. Cool.

Again, if you showed me Jonathan Gannon right now, I couldn't tell you. Was he with the Eagles at some point? Yes i couldn't tell you with the eagles at some point yes was it stiking with the eagles too at some point probably i don't fucking all these coaches coached everywhere i don't know who the fuck they are okay well you don't hate him then no uh the coach of seattle who's the young dude i don't hate him he's fine and then uh san francisco despise him despise that fucking douche. What's his name? Shanahan with his stupid hats.

And his little logos on his hats and his ratty face. So I hate him. Is that it? Yep. So I think you hate... Let's see. One. I think six or seven.

Two. Mostly in the NFC. Three. Four. Five. Six in the NFC. And I think that left us with what? Two in the NFC. Three, four, five, six in the NFC. And I think that left us with what,

two in the AFC? Yeah, so like eight coaches I hate. Eight coaches you actually hate. So I hate a little less than a third of the, about a fourth of the league. Eight,

six, or 24. And particularly Mike Vrabel. And Mike Vrabel, whenever he gets another job, I'll hate him because I hate him. He's a douche.

So, there you go. Well, that was a good, healthy exercise there, kids. Now you know who I hate. Maybe you'll douche so there you go well that was a good healthy exercise there kids now you know who I hate and maybe you'll hate them too because your boy hates them I don't know that said there is a documentary series that I'm going to start watching it's a Ted Turner documentary series that I think is on HBO max and this excites me because I find Ted Turner to be a

fascinating guy what a maverick fucking maver. We don't have mavericks anymore. What? This is my new favorite thing is athletes doing the Trump dance. Yeah. There's like three guys that did it in the NFL yesterday. The UFC guy did it the other night. Yeah. And now Christian Pulisic has hit the Trump dance.

Oh, really? We got soccer Trump dance. And the U.S. men's national team win over Jamaica. Trump's taking over. Trump dance. It's here, baby. All right. We're going to national team win over Jamaica. Trump's taking over. Trump dance. It's here, baby. All right. We're going to start watching some television now, and we will reconvene later.