The Josh Innes Show - The Monkey

Episode Date: March 19, 2025

Jilly and I spent Movie and Mexican Tuesday seeing a film called "The Monkey"... It was actually not bad. I enjoyed it. There was a woman in the theater who actually made the movie experience even better. I saw a study that claims 20% of kids use their phones in the theater. Id assume the number is higher. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hello friends, what's going on? It's Josh, fresh off the 11,000 step walk with Ross today. This little bastard wears my ass out. But glad you guys are listening. About 11 o'clock, I think I said that. And here we are. Went to the movies yesterday. Went to see this monkey movie. I think it's a Stephen King... What the hell was this movie called just was it called just the monkey it was it was called monkey let's see let me make sure this movie just the monkey is what the movie was called the monkey and actually it wasn't bad I kind of enjoyed it it was kind of a it was more of a comedy kind of like and I think Demir, Mr. Movie Man himself, Demir, down in Houston, I think kind of summed it up well for me.

It was kind of like a Final Destination almost, where it's less scary than it is funny. It's more of a comedy, like a dark comedy. And that's what I enjoy in my horror films, right? I enjoy the dark comedy. So the deaths in the movie were all kind of comical and that's what I like so I kind of dug it like I thought it was pretty good movie I thought there were plot holes in it that didn't make any sense but then again it's a movie about a fucking wind-up monkey that leads to people dying so if you're looking for logic in that

then you're wasting your fucking time it's a fruitless endeavor so you just go with it but there were some holes in the movie that that kind of annoyed me but otherwise I thought it was actually pretty good and we're coming off apparently the worst box office weekend like ever at least of this year and who knows how long it's been but just nobody went to the movies because there's so many shitty movies out right now and there really are like we were we were reaching to find something to see on the discount Tuesday on the six dollar ticket and free popcorn Tuesday which we finally truly took advantage of yesterday because usually we get the six dollar tickets but to end up still getting a large popcorn and shit because we're gluttons yesterday we actually took advantage of the

free little bag of popcorn which is really all you need unless you're a fucking slob at the movies. All you really need is individual little bags of popcorn. Had some M&Ms. It was fine. Nice time. But I would, if you're looking for something to go see, just go see this movie. I kind of enjoyed it. I thought it was kind of funny, kind of dark, and I was into it.

Now, we often talk about the cinema and cinema etiquette we talk about this a lot how i am convinced that st louis is the worst movie city in america the people are the worst whether it's teenage kids that won't shut the fuck up but even worse adults like i understand kids because i've been there before where you go like six seven buddies to the movies and you're obnoxious to the fucking movies. Like, I don't like it, but I can't sit there and be like, oh, you kids, because I live that life. I've been the obnoxious kid at the movie. I've been the guy that went to the movies with my dad to see one movie but snuck into the other movie. Like, I've been that guy.

So I'm not going to be some asshole that sits here and says, you stupid kids. And in fairness, they're obnoxious, but they eventually kind of settle down. Like Beetlejuice is the one I really remember. These kids would not shut up during the credits, but then they finally kind of settled in and watched the movie. So I respected that. That was fine. Beetlejuice was also the movie where that heifer was sitting in front of us, covered

up in her blanket because apparently we're out at Lambeau Field. So she's got to bring a fucking blanket to the movie theater she's sitting under a blanket having a full-on conversation via Facebook messenger not via text Facebook messenger people are constantly on their phones in the movies in St. Louis it is the worst cinema experience city in America. That said, yesterday was an enjoyable experience. And I knew things were going to go good when during, well, basically there were six people in the movie, by the way. It was two in the afternoon on a Tuesday. It was me and Jilly.

It was like two teenage girls sitting in a couple rows behind us. These were good seats. I'm not a big fan of the movie theaters that force the little swing tables on you. Although, I found it to be useful because it was easier to get the sody pops and the popcorn. So I kind of dug it. I don't like that I'm forced to have it because it's kind of clunky. But I was fine with it. This is the first movie theater I've been to here in St. Louis where it's like the seat has the built-in little table on it. So whatever. But anyway,

six people in the cinema yesterday, me and Jilly, two teenage girls, a couple rows behind us, they were no issue. Then there was an old lady in the second row sitting next to what I assume might've been her granddaughter. Because this lady, when I say old, she wasn't like 80 years old. Probably in her 60s. You know, someone's grandma. Maybe this was her granddaughter. They went to the movies. During the previews, during the theatrical trailers during this film,

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everywhere including new york and Ontario. Voidware prohibited. One per new customer. Bonus award. It is non-withdrawable. Pick six credits that expire in 14 days. Limited time offer. See terms at pick6.draftkings.com slash promos. It was nothing but horror movie trailers, which speaking of the trailers at the movies, can we maybe get some new ones every now and then? Like, I don't go to the movies every day. I go, you know, once a week, once every two weeks. Like, I don't think we went last week. We go like once every two weeks and it's fine. Some movies are good. Some suck. It's $6 Tuesday. We need something to do. Let's go to

the movies, right? So that's what we do. Actually, we did go last week because we also went to see the Led Zeppelin documentary, which wasn't bad. Although, like, and this isn't a knock on Led Zeppelin, who I'm fine with. Like, I don't know. I'm not going to the movies to watch, like, eight-minute performances during a documentary. You know? Like, in a documentary, I don't need full-on, like, hey, here's a nine-minute set from one of their shows. Like, I get that that's the point.

But I'm here to hear the story. I don't really care about hearing the songs, like, in their entirety and video. I'm not here for that. Like, I think the documentary that the Eagles did was again, one of the best music documentaries I've ever seen. One of the best documentaries I've ever seen. It's on the Mount Rushmore of documentaries I've ever seen. It was thorough. It was great, but I didn't have to watch like nine minute performances of the Eagles. Like I saw little snippets and then I got stories and that's what I was there for. The Led Zeppelin documentary was fine. I found the guys to be affable, likable dudes.

They weren't like cocksuckers like the Pink Floyd guys. So like I was cool with it. So I'm watching it. It's fine. I saw that last week. Saw the monkey movie this week. But I feel like all we're getting is the same trailers for every time you go to the movies it's the same three or four trailers and I'm like I don't need this shit give me something different but anyway during the the coming attractions they're showing

all these horror movie trailers and the woman in the front and I knew that when this happened we were in for a lovely experience at the cinema. A bad experience is some asshole on their phone and the big bright light shining. You can actually read the conversation they're having with their little girlfriend because they're bored at the movie. The Beetlejuice isn't good enough for them, so they're on Facebook Messenger. This was setting up to be a fine cinematic experience. Why?

Because as the trailers are winding down, and we're at Marcus Cinema. This is the theater. It used to be called Werenberg Cinemas. They were bought out by Marcus Theaters. Marcus Theaters is a chain of movie theaters basically throughout the Midwest. I think there's some in Iowa, maybe in Minnesota, whatever.

And the nice guy, the seemingly nice fellow that owns and runs Marcus Cinemas, Greg Marcus is his name. He comes on the screen before the movies to, you know, like kind of, you know, like set the tone for everything. Cool. Seems like a nice guy. He does that and he's like, enjoy the movie. And then I hear this woman during the, after all that, she goes, we should have gone to see The Lion King. And when I heard her say that to the girl next to her, I said, it's about to be on. Because I didn't really know a ton about this movie. All I know is what Jilly told me.

And Jilly said that, like, it's a very divisive movie on the internet. Either people loved it or a lot of people walked out of it. Like, whatever, right? So I'm expecting it to be pretty gory. Not like the Terrifier type gory, but like kind of comedically gory. And I'm expecting it to be, you know, a little bit grimy. So when I heard that lady say,

you know, I think we should have gone to see The Lion King, Jillian and I looked at each other and we were like, fucking right, let's dance, motherfucker. It's going down. Because the people in the movie can make the movie experience better. We've talked about this on previous podcasts before. Go see Rush Hour or Big Mama's House on a Friday night in like 1999 where the theater is like 99% black folks and you and your buddy and it's the best time you ever had. And you can't tell me any different. Me and my dad, when I was a young boy, 2000, he took me to LA with him. He was doing

like a movie or something, some Scooby thing. So that was the time I got to go to the Grauman's Chinese Theater. My dad, dude, you want to talk about how fucked up parenting was even in the late nineties, at least for my dad, there were no cell phones in 1999. I'm 13 years old. I'm down on Hollywood Boulevard. That's where my dad was recording this shit. And he just gave me $20 and said, Josh, just go find something to do. And I'm like, okay. So again, no cell phones. He says, just figure out what you're going to do. I have no idea what time he's going to be done. I have no idea when he's going to be looking for me. It's my dad. It's 2000.

He's making a fucking Scooby movie. He doesn't give a fuck where I am. He probably doesn't even know I exist. So he gives me $20, says wander off. So I wander over to the Grauman's Chinese Theater. And I did one of those dumb things where you put your own hands in the concrete and do it. Wasted some money on that because I couldn't even bring it home with me on the flight. So that was stupid. So I'm carrying this dumb thing with me and it looks like shit. And then I go see a film called The Perfect Storm with the man, George Clooney

and Mark Wahlberg and John C. Reilly. And I see that. That's the one movie I saw at the Grauman's Chinese Theater. I remember nothing about the theater. Like I was 13 years old, but I know that I went to see this movie. I went to see The Perfect Storm. Okay. Then movie gets out. I got to see it at the legendary Grauman's Chinese Theater. I have no fucking clue where my dad is. He has no clue where I am. Like, I don't know how we ended up finding each other. It's not like we said, Hey, meet me over here by the street Walker at five o'clock. You know, just, we figured it out, went to, you know, universal studios. We always stayed every time we would go to LA. My dad was not exotic about shit. My dad is not the kind of person who looks for like unique hole in the wall places really, when it comes to visiting these kinds of cities, my dad is a touristy Tom, okay?

So every time we went to LA, and I want to say I went with him maybe three times. This wasn't the first time I had gone with him, I don't think. I think I went once in the late 90s, like 99. I went with him again in 2000, and maybe one other time. Whatever year the movie Collateral came out, I went with him. So was that 2004? Because I remember we went together and then we went back to the hotel and turned on Collateral on the

pay-per-view and then he fell asleep in like two minutes. That's the only thing I remember about going to LA with him that time. But anyway, I'm 13, 14 years old. We go to LA. My dad will not try anything different. He will not try any kind of unique restaurants that are unique to the towns he's in. My dad finds chain shit and touristy shit. He is the victim of tourist traps. That is my dad. So we end up always staying at the Universal Sheraton right off the Universal City Walk. And every time we go to L.A., we stay at the Universal Sheraton. We go to the Universal City Walk. And every time we go to LA, we stay at the Universal Sheraton. We go to the

Universal City Walk. We go to like Tony Roma's down on the Universal City Walk. He makes me take a picture in front of the fucking King Kong that's hanging over the Universal City Walk. Then we go to Universal Studios and we do the fucking tram tour every time. Every time I've ever been to LA, I have done the tram tour at Universal Studios. Then we'll ride, you know, back to the future when it was still a thing, which I miss very much, and E.T. and Jaws and all that shit. We do that. But anyway, that's kind of how things went with my dad. Now, what does this have to do with anything? Honest to God, I have no fucking clue. Let's go back to St. Louis yesterday monkey film so when the woman said we should have seen

the lion king jillian and i looked at each other and we said it's fucking on not to spoil anything in the movie but like early in the movie there's like a wacky uh uh death a wacky death early in the movie it's a movie about wacky deaths. I agree with Demir. It's kind of like a final destination thing where like you've seen the first final destination. There was the one death in the first final destination that just kind of shook the whole audience. Like actually, no, now I know why I brought up. Okay, hold on. Rewind. Now I remember how I got to talking about my dad at the movies and why we were in LA. Sorry. So in 2000, when we went, we went to see scary movie on the universal city walk at the theater there on the universal city

walk. It was me, dad, and 98% black folks and scary movie is fine. It's funny. Watch it with like 99% black audience losing their shit at every joke and it's the most hysterical shit you've ever seen and it's the same like again the the audience makes the movie the people around that's why i think i don't enjoy a lot of movies because most of the ones we see we're like the two people in the cinema and it's just not as impactful like i was on a flight this weekend going somewhere that you don't need to fucking know about but i I was on a flight and I was watching Friday because I haven't seen Friday in a million years. Right. So I'm watching it.

And as I'm watching Friday on the iPad, I'm like, this movie is a piece of shit. Like it's got some funny lines. And Chris Tucker's like, you know, I know you don't smoke weed. I know that. I know this. But like some of it's fine and then you watch the rest of it you're like this movie is a piece of shit and then I watched next Friday on the way home absolute piece of shit but you're like it's okay because if you watched it

with you know like 90 other black dudes you'd laugh your balls off at it because they're laughing their balls off and it's contagious that's why I don't think I found this movie um uh the one with uh Kiki Palmer and SZA uh one of them days I don't think I found it funny like I think if that movie would have came out in 2000 and I were at the city place 11 in Baton Rouge and it were like me and 150 black folks I probably would have been fucking hysterical it wasn't because it was just me Jian, a couple of white people and the movie just sucked. So it was, well, everything was in the trailer. But anyway, so that gets us back to St. Louis. Thank you, Josh. You got yourself there. Congrats. You're the best. So we get back to St. Louis and after she says, we should have seen The Lion King. You knew it was on. First death in the movie. Woman goes, oh dear.

She yells, oh dear. And she would just make noise like, oh, oh. During every kind of like jump scare, anything in the movie. It was fucking phenomenal. And it made the movie even better because this old lady, like who obviously didn't want to be there, obviously had no interest in the movie. Somehow got kind of lassoed into going to this movie with her grandkid or whatever, whoever that was, caretaker. I don't fucking know. Wanted to go see Mufasa.

And then she's over here just like, you know, freaking out at everything. And it was fan fucking tastic. And it was one of those things that was so funny. Like I had to cover my face with my shirt to keep myself from laughing at the movie. But I bring all this up because I was just reading the statistic. And the statistic says that 20%, a recent study suggests that around 20% of children use their phones in movie theaters, potentially disrupting the viewing experience of others, which I believe. But let's not just throw it all on the kids either. There are too many grown ass people bringing pillows and bringing blankies and being on their fucking phones during movies

at the theaters, not just the kids. Set a good example, you schmucks. I do believe 20% is a solid number. I would think more probably, but let's start focusing on the adults who are doing the same shit. Start calling these people out. They should be called out. They know better. They've been around movie theaters before. All that said, I love going to the cinema. I'd be sad if there were ever a time that just all these big beautiful buildings had nothing going on in them because I love going to the movies I love sitting in the cinema I love the popcorn I love the big screen I just love it I love movie theaters it's just something I've done my whole life I've told you those stories about me and my dad every Friday and Saturday basically we'd go to the movies that's what me and my dad did mom was at home with my sister me and dad would go to the fucking movies That's what me and my dad did. Mom was at home with my sister. Me and dad would go to the fucking movies. Didn't matter what it was. We'd just go see it. We probably saw a

thousand movies when I was a kid. That's just how things were. I mean, we'd see at least one a weekend. That's 52 of those bad boys a year, at least. Then as I got older, I just start going by myself. I dad worked next to a movie theater for most of the time in Baton Rouge. So I'd walk my happy ass over there. I love the movie theater. Anyway, more to come.