The Josh Innes Show - The Science Of Drinking Beer

Episode Date: March 10, 2025

I am of the belief that there has to be some sort of scientific breakdown of why we drink beer faster when sitting outside. It appears I'm on a Door Dash pitch count....our Dash Mobile may have finally died. I randomly veer off into a discussion about being bad with money. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Hello, friends. What's going on? It is Monday. Hello. About 10 o'clock here in St. Louis. Fresh off a Sunday drinking party at the house. And by a Sunday drinking party, I mean it was about 70 degrees and it was sunny. So we sat outside and drank beers. And I truly believe that there if you looked into the science of it I bet there's science that would back this up it is impossible

to sit outside on a nice sunny day and not crush beers there's got to be science that backs this up because I'm talking about not just drinking beers. Like two nights ago, we're sitting in the house, we're drinking some beers, watching some basketball games that we had bet on. And I finally started watching this three-part series about hair metal called Nothing But a Good Time on Paramount+. We watched two of the three episodes of that. Drinking beer and it's fine. But I'm sitting there on the couch. I might have four or five beers over the course of the evening, not really feeling much, not really buzzed or anything,

just kind of there, right? Just kind of in a malaise. I'm drinking, but I'm not really getting anywhere with it, and I don't know that I want to get anywhere with it, and just kind of chilling, right? The second you sit outside, turn on Yacht Rock, and the sun is shining, and I mean, I'm talking perfect temperature. It's about 70 degrees, and you've spent all summer,

or all winter, rather, cooped up in the house, and you've dealt with all this snow that we've had. You finally put the chairs out. You sit down. You get out the Bluetooth speaker. You put on the Yacht Rock playlist, and you go. It is impossible to not consume five bush lattes in 20 minutes. They just go down super smooth.

Whatever beverage you choose to drink. I was drinking bush lattes yesterday. But you just sit there, and also the solo cup makes a huge difference as well. You throw it in a solo cup, gulp, gulp, gone next, gulp, gulp, gone next, gulp, gulp, gone. And before you know it, you've had five bush lattes. It's been half an hour. And you're like, well, I don't think that's how this is supposed to go, but it tastes so good. Then you get out the Yahtzee and you got a pork butt going on the smoker. It's just a wonderful setup. I'm not someone that finds a lot of joy and pleasure from most things. I don't know if you can tell by listening to me. I am a rather joyless human being. Don't know why. There's just nothing. I don't know. I'm just in a perennial or perpetual state of malaise. Maybe it's because I

don't have a job at the moment. Maybe it's because I'm in one of those weird phases of life where I just don't know what the next thing is. That very well could be. Or maybe I have a generalized anxiety that I don't know or hasn't been diagnosed. Although one of my doctors gave me a bunch of pills because he's like, I feel like you might have some form of anxiety. And then gives me all these pills. But then I read the bottle and all the bottles are like, well, you know, I read the bottle to find out what the medication was because the guy prescribed me a bunch of these things just to try when I was having an issue a couple about a year and a half ago when I was having some sort of like attacks and I didn't know what they were and the guy gave me these uh pills so I would start googling them and like all of them are

like hey if you uh end up wanting to kill yourself stop using these and I'm like that's all I need to know I'm not going to be taking these pills you know, but I'm in a general state of malaise a lot of the time. And maybe a lot of people are, I'm just kind of not a zombie. I'm not like, you know, Patrick Bateman. I'm just not there or anything like that. I just find myself in kind of a perpetual state of just blah. And I don't know why, you know, it's not, I mean, I enjoy very little, like, and it's not that I hate things. I do hate a lot of things, but like, I just, I'm kind of there. And Jelly was telling me the other day that like, when I hang out with people and like, I'll go to the bathroom, they'll talk to Jelly and go, so does he like us? Or, and I don't even

realize I'm doing it. I'm just kind of just in a perpetual state of blah. Don't know why. Maybe you do. Maybe you're a doctor and you could diagnose me and give me more pills that I'm not going to take. But my point is, I do find joy in sitting outside, listening to the yacht rock, smoking a pork butt, playing Yahtzee, and drinking bush lattes. And those lattes were going down super de-duper smooth yesterday. And then before you know it, you go from being normal to, oh shit, I've had like 10 of these in an hour and a half. Whoa. Now granted, it's not like it's some 9% IPA or something. It's bush light, right?

So it's easy to crush. But when the weather's hot, and at least warm in this case, and the sun's out, and you've got the doobies on the damn Bluetooth, you got Robbie Dupree on the Bluetooth, you got Player on the Bluetooth, you got Christopher Cross on the Bluetooth, the beers just hit harder. And yesterday was one of those lovely days where I don't remember going to sleep. Now, hold on. Let me play a couple commercials and we'll continue. All right.

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Maybe it's a mental thing. Maybe you're like, oh, it's hot out here, so the beer will get hot, so I got to pound it fast. Maybe it's just because you're hot and you're sitting in the heat that you've got got to chug it I don't know what it is there's something about it it is a remarkable science behind this but I tweet this and people are like well it's because you're an alcoholic bro I'm like no I'm a gambling addict that's a fact but I am not someone who is a an alcoholic I don't need alcohol I don't drink at all like I don't drink it nearly as often as you guys probably think I do, just every day. But I'm not an alcoholic by any means. But maybe you're just an alcoholic. No, it's just sitting outside just makes you want to chug a lug, chug a lug. I don't know what to tell

you. It's a wonderful thing. But anyway, other stuff going on in the world. My DoorDash reign of terror has been put on hold. This is a really sad thing, actually. I'm sad about this. I will say, the DoorDashing brings me joy. Because in a way, it's like gambling, right? It's like a challenge. I thrive on competition.

I love to compete with people, right? So when I get one of these orders, I give like, I got to get it there in this amount of time or, um, or like, really, I'll tell you why it's addicting. It's addicting because you're making money in real time. And it's like pretty fucking cool. Like when you go to work, when you go to your job, in theory, you're making money in real time, right? Like you go there, you work eight hours, whatever, you know what your salary is, you know what your hourly rate is, you know that. But like, you don't see it. Like there's not a scoreboard when you go to work that gives you an update every day that you made, you know, $80 today or $150 today or $200

today. That doesn't exist in your actual job. Maybe it does in your job and that's pretty badass. But in a regular job, most of the time you're not gonna see that. So when you're in a car and the DoorDash thing dings and you're like, all right, I gotta go pick up somebody, I gotta go pick up Janelle's lunch at Chipotle and I gotta get it there by whatever time and when it's done, I'm gonna make $8.

Like for 10 minutes of work, you're like, this is pretty addicting. Like it kind of takes the place of gambling in a way for me. Because like it's like a new form of gambling. Because everything you're doing, like you turn down one offer because it's only $4. Well, then your rating might go down a little bit because you turned it down. But you're waiting for like a $10 offer. Like that $130 offer I had to go to 7-Eleven that one time and deliver the new ports to uh to the lady so there's an addiction kind of that goes into it it's fun it's like it in the same way that

you know dweebs were playing uh you know Pokemon Go or something like I really get in to doing the DoorDash stuff and you then like you have a sense of pride over it because then you're like, well, shit, I just went out and made 60 bucks and worked for two hours and I feel pretty good about myself. It's better than sitting on my ass and doing nothing. And as I've said, once I get an actual job, I'll probably still do this shit just because like it's so crazy to think about this. There are very few things you can do where like let's say you wanted to go on a trip. You want to go on a trip to like, you want to go, the Eagles are playing somewhere you want to go, or the Texans, whoever your team is. And your team is like a playoff happens that you didn't expect. And you want to go see the Eagles play the Redskins in the playoffs. Or you want to see the Texans play uh the Chiefs in the playoffs and you're

like well shit I don't have the fucking money for that you can literally drive as much as you want and deliver as much door dash as you want until you make the money to do it and you can pay for it you get paid now and some people I think do it daily with daily payouts I think mine's every Monday or Tuesday but like I made 600 bucks last week. Money for nothing and chicks for free, man. So like I was thinking about that. Like why have I not been doing this my whole fucking life? Every time, like it's the easiest way to pay for things that you don't think you'd be able to pay for.

Oh, car problems or oh, I had an emergency, had to take the dog to the vet and it's gonna cost me $1,500. Well, here's an idea. Spend a month door dashing and you can probably make,1,500. Well, here's an idea. Spend a month door dashing and you can probably make, hell, in some cases, if you're that dedicated to it, you can probably make $1,500 in two weeks. Hell, I made $600 something dollars last week and I had to stop because the car died. So again, I'm not a salesman for door dash. It's not a pyramid scheme.

I don't get anything for talking about it, but it's just like, there aren't too many lines of work or like side hustles like this where like just instantly like, oh, I need, I'm going to need a hundred dollars by the end of the week. Let me go drive for two hours today. And I could probably make that at dinnertime. Like it's, it's baffling. I know I sound like I just like, like I just discovered, you know you like uranium or something like it's like some big deal but it it is interesting to me the issue i'm running into now is that we're in a spot where we're finally gonna have to put the car down i was in the car remember the the story from two weeks ago where i didn't get an oil change and the car shut down and the guys at the place were basically mocking me saying, hey, dipshit, the car shut down because there's no oil. So they filled it back up.

I had only driven about 1,200 or so miles in the last week or so. I forgot how many miles I've driven. It hadn't been 1,200. But I hadn't driven all that much. I'm in the car on Friday, I think it is. And once again, the same thing that happened to me the previous week, the car just stopped accelerating. So I'm on the highway. I'm like, what the fuck? Holy shit. I had to pull over. I had, I coasted it into a Valvoline thinking that, Hey, it just needs oil. They were like, yep, there's no oil in this thing. So they filled the oil back up and they're like, all right, let's go. You should be good to go. So they put the oil back in it.

I drive for maybe half a mile and it happens again. And I'm like, shit, what do I do? Because we're back on the highway again. We're kind of fucked. So Jilly's like, I'm going to try to find some place that'll just pick up the car, like a donation type of thing. Ronald McDonald house, cars for kids, whatever, those type of deals. So I have to make a decision at this point. And the decision is, do we try to drive this car home? It can get up the speed. It can get up to about 40 miles per hour or whatever. It has no oomph at all. Right. So once you, it's not, those RPMs aren't going anywhere. So you're just kind of coasting. And we were about five miles from the house. And Jilly's like, listen, if we leave this car here, then it has to get towed again. And

that's going to cost money. And we've already used the insurance once for a tow. We can't do it again. So that's going to cost money and i'm like well we could die trying this but i also don't want to spend money on a tow so we're going to take every back way we can think of and see if we can get our asses home and i'm talking this car is like like it like it's jolting it's like it's we should not have driven this vehicle. It should not have been the case. We should be dead. But by some miracle, we were able to get the fucker home. And now the car sits out in the front and we wait to find who is going to come pick this thing up. But all that said, that was the DoorDash mobile.

And boy, it had a good two weeks of DoorDash. And that damn car made me $1,200 in two weeks. But I'm not going to spend any more money to get the fucker fixed. And I'm not going to take our other car, which is a year old and only has 10,000 miles on it or whatever. And I'm not going to run that bad boy into the ground getting Becky her little Caesars. So I'm currently on a DoorDashing hiatus. I'm on a pitch count. Let me put it that way. I can take the car out like our other car. Like I'm going to do dinner a couple of times this week, try to make a couple of bucks. But my days of two hours here, two hours here, two hours,

I think those days are over until I get another car. Fun fact about me, I have not had to own my own vehicle in like 15 years. The combination of Jilly having cars, combination of one car getting voluntarily surrendered back, you know, but when we left to go to Philly, and I've also been able to drive, basically since I was in Philly, my vehicles have all been through dealerships where I drive 5,000 miles and bring it back, you know? So I haven't had a vehicle of my own technically since about 2013. So it's been about 12 years since I've had a vehicle. And let me tell you something, brother, I had to pay a shitload of money because I like, for whatever reason, I don't know if it was a credit thing or whatever, but, and I had, you know, I told you I had a truck basically all of my ills let me here can I give you some advice I don't know if you listen to this for advice or not or if you just listen

for you know incendiary commentary but I will offer you advice if you're a young person and you get not one but two paid for vehicles by the time you were out of high school. Ride those bad boys until you're set to actually pay for a vehicle because here's what killed your boy. So I got a truck when I was in high school. Dad bought me a GMC Sierra, man. It was a bench seat. It was actually a cool truck, green truck, cool wheels on it. Like it was a cool truck, GMC Sierra, right? Single cab, bench seat, cool truck. Got it for Christmas in 2002, I want to say. I think it was, I was 16.

So that was what I got for Christmas. Badass rig, right? Two years later, I graduate high school. Dad gets me another car. It's a Dodge Ram, like a maroonish colored Dodge Ram. I don't really remember a ton about that truck. Honestly, I think the first truck was better, but dad gets me this new truck. I drive that for a couple of years. And then dad, I'm in my early twenties, I think. No, yeah, I'm in my early twenties. I have a job at iHeart,

what was called Clear Channel at the time. I'm in Baton Rouge. And dad's like, I think you need to learn some responsibility. Let's go get you a new truck and you can pay the note on it. I'm like, sure. So I get another Dodge Ram, pretty badass Dodge Ram. At the time they were Dodge Rams before they were just Rams. Dodge Ram. And it's $250 a month. Now, mind you, I'm making $19,000 a year working at this radio station, which is pretty remarkable when you think about it, right? Like $19,000.

That was my salary. $19,000. And then they fired me and brought me back and then they paid me more it was 21 000 so i had like i'm making 19 000 a year after taxes and everything else actually i don't even know if i if i was full time at the time i had this truck but either way i have no fucking money so like i can't pay for this this truck so eventually my dad has to help me pay for it that gets me fucked over i end up taking that truck with me to Houston that truck at one point now now you want to hear about just awful decisions in life then I also got a relatively expensive apartment when I moved to Houston now in Houston

I was making $35,000 a year to start right and maybe a couple of extra bucks if I was you know doing remotes or whatever but $35,000 was my. Go from $19,000 to $21,000 to $35,000. And I have the same red truck that still cost me $250 a month to drive. But I'm also paying $1,300 a month for an apartment off of Bissonette in Houston. I forgot what the apartments were called, but they're right over there by the, it's on Bissonette uh and Kirby no it was on Bissonette and Buffalo Speedway maybe and it was right next to the HEB like there's a fence that separates the HEB and this apartment complex and that's where I lived so I'm paying 1300 bucks a month for an apartment I'm paying 250 bucks for a car and obviously I got to pay the electric

and everything making 35,000 in Houston I'm fucking broke so like every month I'm paying 250 bucks for a car. And obviously I got to pay the electric and everything. I'm making $35,000 in Houston. I'm fucking broke. So like every month I'm calling my dad. I'm like, dad, like I got to a point where the apartment was making me pay in cashier's checks. So like, we're not going to take your actual check, pal. You have to go get, you have to prove that this money exists. You have to go and get a, like a cashier's check for it. So I would have to go get like an official check from the Wells Fargo. that's how i would pay that and then i'd have to ask my dad for

fucking money it was a fucking disaster then one day i come outside and my truck's not there and i think it got stolen i don't know how we found it out but it actually gotten repossessed so then we had to go pick up the truck at like some salvage yard or some shit or wherever the impound wherever they put the fucking truck but to get the truck they had to like bust open the window or whatever and then like fuck something up on the steering wheel so the steering it was a whole fucking mess why do i tell you all this i tell you all this because you don't want to live beyond your means. And as I sit here today at 38 years of age in a home that I cannot afford to live in, again, I'm a moron,

but I have this house. I was like, hey, I'm making a bunch of money, whatever. I can't. I mean, like I got to get out of here in a month or two because if you ain't making money, you can't afford to live anywhere, but certainly not in a place that's $2,500 a month. But all that to tell you this, if your dad buys you a truck when you're 16 or 18 years of age, one was when I was in high school, one was when I graduated high school, you ride that bad boy as long as you can.

Like my buddy, I think he still has the truck that he was driving in high school. Now he also has like, you know, like a fucking expensive car too. But for a lot of his other shit, he just drives his old truck that he had when we were in high school, 20 something years ago. These are the things you got to do. You got to be smart about this shit. Don't be like Josh. Josh made a lot of bad decisions financially in life. And that's why I'm here to help you. I'm basically doing the Dave Ramsey show. I am Dave Ramsey for you. Honestly, I've been listening to a lot of Dave Ramsey while I've been doing the DoorDash

because I've been feeling good about myself. I'm like, Dave Ramsey would be proud. He'd be like, you're going out and making money and paying off the bills. So I've been listening to Dave Ramsey, which is actually a good listen. But don't be like me would be my advice for the day. Be smart.

All right, more to come.