The Josh Innes Show - The Taylor/Travis Break Up Contract

Episode Date: September 4, 2024

First off, I am a former fan of Taylor Swift. I think her music the last few years has been dreadful and I have no interest in it. I'm more an Olivia Rodrigo or Sabrina Carpenter fan. Actually, I'm all about Chappell Roan. If you don't know, get informed. Anywho, an alleged break up contract for Trav and Tay Tay was leaked. I think it's real and I'm all about this. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Well, if you know me, you know that I believe that love conquers all. I'm a hopeless romantic. This is who I am. I like to believe that at the end of the movie, the guy gets the gal. I believe in the healing power of love. I'm like Neil Diamond in Saving Silverman. For years, I've been writing songs about the healing powers of love. But until this moment, that's all they've been is words well with that

said I don't have a belief that the union between Taylor Swift and Travis Kelsey has ever been anything other than a public relations stunt and I continue to believe that and I think most people with a brain believe that the reason why all of her fans don't believe that it's fake is because they don't have brains because they're dumb people. Now I say that as someone who used to be really deep into the Taylor Swift world all the way up until the red album. And after that, well, let me put it this way. Everything from the red album back, I think is excellent. After that, you get 1989, which is fine. And then there's a lot of junk. What really put me over the top was her trying to do a diss track for Kanye and Kim.

And I'm like, ma'am, you're a flat-ass olive oil looking gangly gal that sings country music. And for whatever reason, you've been able to kind of hoodwink lonely white women into believing that you're some sort of goddess and by the way i have no look more power to you there's a lot of things that i'm into that most people in the world would say why the hell are you into that i like night ranger night rangers like my favorite band of all time well one of my favorite bands of all time. I also like Damn Yankees, which is essentially an offshoot of Night Ranger and Survivor and other bands like that, that most people would say, no, thank you. Like I would imagine I'm the only person on the planet who might list one of their favorite

bands as Survivor or Survivor as one of their favorite bands. So I understand that my taste and stuff is not exactly in line with the taste of a lot of people. I respect that. Maybe part of it's because I'm a natural contrarian, right? That's the truth. People think I go to the radio or podcast and I say shit to get a reaction. I really don't, but there's something that goes off in my brain that tells me to be contrarian. I don't want to be, but it's almost like I feel like it's my job to keep people in check. Therefore, I automatically go to the contrarian angle, and it's not like I plan it out that way. I just naturally get annoyed. Back to something I mentioned earlier in one of the earlier podcasts about how when Adam

Wainwright was trying to win 200 games here in St. Louis and the team was 20 games under 500 and his ERA was eight yet the media was making a big deal out of winning 200 games I've never seen anybody make a big deal out of winning 200 games but it was a big deal so my instinct my inclination was go the other way because it annoyed me. That's just kind of how I am. And Taylor Swift has started to annoy me or started to annoy me. But leading up to basically 1989, which I will say has a couple of bangers on it. But red was like the apex of Taylor Swift for me.

It was still kind of country, but it had a little pop to it. Me and PK sat in the second row in Houston at Toyota Center. I got videos of it. It was still kind of country, but it had a little pop to it. Me and PK sat in the second row in Houston at Toyota Center. I got videos of it. It was outstanding. It was great. Now, I don't like Taylor Swift, mostly because I think the music sucks. If the music was still good, and I'm not going to get into a whole debate here about how good or bad Taylor Swift's music is, because most of you listening would say her music

has always sucked. I, on the contrary, would say it was very good up until what was the damn album that came out after 1989? 1989 was still solid. The album after that sucked. And then all the weird, like gross hair, bangs, sweaters, fucking fortnights. All that music is terrible. If you ever notice the only good music

she puts out that gets any traction are songs that were from previous albums that didn't get released. And then throw in the fact that her poor, bless their hearts. These people will sop up and buy any album of hers. She just repackages the same crap over and over. So again, she is what she is. I used to find her alluring. I don't find her alluring anymore, but her videos pop up on my Instagram feed all the time. It's part of my, like basically, when I start scrolling through reels, I really need to just start looking at hardcore porn.

So something other than Taylor Swift's flat ass pops up in my algorithm. My algorithm at this point is meet videos, which I'm all for. Since we've spoken last, I haven't done a podcast or the podcast ended in late 2022, I believe is when it ended. In that time, I have become a meat smoker. That sounds odd. I have started, I got a Traeger. So I'm not a real meat smoker. I'm a Traeger guy. I'm a pellet grill dude, but I'm really into doing it. And I enjoy it. I made a porkeger. So I'm not a real meat smoker. I'm a Traeger guy. I'm a pellet grill dude, but I'm really into doing it. And I enjoy it. I made a pork butt the other day,

ribs. I did some party ribs the other day. I'm really enjoying it. It's like something I genuinely enjoy. And if you listen to this, I sound like a curmudgeon who never enjoys anything. So for me to enjoy something, that's something. But I've started doing that and that's what I'm into. So I see meat videos and I'll see Taylor Swift's flat ass. And I try to watch other shit. Like I'm into the, oh, let me tell you what I'm into. Hot damn. I tell you, there's very few things that I get excited about, but I'm excited about the Texans this year. I'm excited about smoking meat and I am excited that I have discovered Chapel Roan. Now I did not discover Chapel Roan. Many other people had discovered her, but now

she's the hottest thing out there. And usually the hottest thing out there doesn't appeal to me, especially if it's not like a legit hot chick, you know, like Sabrina Carpenter's like legitimately hot and I dig her music. Well, please, please, please. I'm into it. But Chapel Roan is not like a naturally hot person. Chapel Roan is not like a naturally hot person Chapel Roan like dresses as a drag queen like that's her whole shtick but the music is so good Chapel Roan is like Lady Gaga mixed with and I'm trying to think of a like lady she's got a lot of Lady Gaga in there but like poppy Lady Gaga little Avril but like poppy, Lady Gaga, little Avril too, like on the Hot To Go, you get kind of like an Avril vibe.

But then some of the other songs you get there kind of give you this, like the super modern ultra whatever girl. There's a great song. Casual. Casual's a great song. Look, I don't try to give you music advice or advice on what to listen to very often. Cause as I told you, my taste in music is weird. Damn Yankees, Night Ranger, Survivor, early Taylor Swift, 90s country to get drunk on the weekends, a fuck ton of yacht rock.

You know what I'm into, you know, the ABCs and me, But let me tell you, if you're not in on Chapel Roan right now, you're missing out, man. Casual's a great song. I'm knee deep in the passenger seat and you're eating me out. Is it casual now? It's like adult music. Whereas like Taylor Swift still makes music for children, even though she's in her mid-30s and allegedly in a real relationship with this Travis Kelsey. Like, we're making adult-themed music, baby. Little H-O-T-T-O-G-O, you can take me hot to go. Banger. She just makes good tunes, this chap.

Or a pink pony club. My God. The good news is my algorithm has started to shift a little bit from watching Taylor Swift do dumb dances. And you'll be unappealing to pink pony club videos. Oh, what have you done? You're a pink pony girl. And you dance in the club. Oh, mama.

I'm just having fun. on the stage in my heels it's where i belong down at the pink pony club i'm gonna keep on dancing at in West Hollywood. I'm going to keep on dancing at the Pink Pony Club. Pink Pony Club. All that to tell you that if you're not into Chaperone, you need to get your asses into Chaperone because Chaperone is bae. I also like Olivia Rodrigo, although she's kind of faded. Like Chaperone was her opening act, and now she's kind of overtaken her. Kind of like in a movie that I feel like only Jilly and I have seen

called Pop Star, Never Stop, Never Stopping. Although some of our early podcast listeners may know about that because we used to talk about it all the time. This is like how Hunter the Hungry ended up taking, like, was the opening act for Connor for real, and then became a bigger star than Connor for real. Very, very similar that said why did I bring this up and go on a nine-minute diatribe about the music of Taylor Swift and Chaperone and Olivia Rodrigo and Sabrina Carpenter please please please Don't prove them right. All right, I'm done.

Because yesterday there was this leaked contract about Taylor Swift and Travis Kelsey. And allegedly the contract was created by Full Scope, which is a PR firm that handles Travis Kelsey's PR. And in this leaked document, there claimed to have been a plan or a strategy devised to announce the breakup of Taylor Swift and Travis Kelsey. And I think it was supposed to happen on September 28th, I think was the date. So it's coming up if it's going to happen.

But now, of course, it won't. But Full Scope has denied that Taylor Swift, the breakup document came from them and they're going to pursue legal action against perpetrators for that. Fine. But I believe it. And although I'm a believer in love and I'm a believer that love conquers all, and I like a good rom-com and I like to watch a little, when Harry met Sally, I like a good rom-com, and I like to watch a little When Harry Met Sally. I like to watch a little Love Actually. I like to have a little You Complete Me, a little Jerry Maguire. I like all that kind of stuff.

I believe that this is a farce. And I'm into the conspiracy angle of it, too. Like 100% buy into the idea that this is a completely made-up relationship for the sake of popularity and this isn't even like a conspiracy like anybody with a brain could point this out to you i'm just a common jamoke here this isn't anything like tinfoil hattie travis kelsey was a big star in the football universe and Travis Kelsey was out slaying ass banging thick black chicks kind of had that vibe about him you know like you look at him like guys kind of Malibu's most wanted like he

thinks he's a black guy okay if I call K you're cool bro and then magically one day he's into flat-ass white girls that look like olive oil. Okie dokie. I really buy that. But why? Why would they fake this? Well, I don't know that she's faking it. Because I don't really know how it benefits her. She's the biggest star on the planet.

She's filling up stadiums from New Orleans to Philadelphia to Belgium. Like, she fills up stadiums. She new orleans to philadelphia to belgium like she fills up stadiums she doesn't need travis kelsey she does need love but she doesn't need travis kelsey but travis kelsey needs her because travis kelsey football career is kind of winding down what do you do after that now he's all of a sudden going to be in movies and he's in every commercial and he's Mr. Pfizer guy and he's in all this. Oh, and oh, by the way, he just got paid a hundred million dollars for a sports podcast for two brothers to talk about sports. How does that appeal to the average person? The average Taylor Swift person? It doesn't unless they're in a relationship together. Now, I've always wondered this, though. Jillian, I talk about this a lot.

What happens when they break up? How is the reaction going to be to Travis? That's why it does make sense that there'd be a full on PR blitz slash plan, because this is bigger this is bigger than a lot of shit because you're messing with the biggest celebrity on the planet now and your whole livelihood for the next 50 years of your life when football is over depends on these podcasts and movies and think about what the reaction from these wackos is going to be when they break up. I mean, the Swifties are the meanest group of assholes on the internet.

They can live in their whole little world where all you are is Maine and all that. They're the meanest people you will ever encounter. And kind of like, you get like liberals kind of in that way too, like really any political side, when they feel like they're doing something based on what they think is right and just not just their own opinion, but they believe is right. And just, they feel will, uh, willing to say awful things to you, uh, in, in, because of the fact that they think you are a threat to the world. That's how these people are. They're lunatics and they'll say mean ass shit if you don't like their queen,

if you don't like mother. So Travis Kelsey better have a damn plan. So that's why I buy it. Like I, do I think they're going to stay together forever? No, probably going to break up. Can you just go out and say, Hey, we're no longer dating. See you later. No, because you're too involved now. You're too deep in it and you can't get yourself out without a plan and why would they be concerned with pursuing legal action against somebody if there isn't some truth to it why don't you just come out and say well this is totally phony that's cute that somebody did this but we didn't put this out and this is dumb to me pursuing legal action for something like this tells me that there might be some level of truth to it and let's also be honest this travis

kelsey's sick of banging this chick if they've even banged i'll assume they have because they're adults and they are filled with lust like all adults are but look at some of the chicks this guy was with before. Thick, hot chicks with bodies. Not a chick that wears, I don't know, leotards on stage and does basic-ass white dancing to awful music that still sounds like it's from a 17-year-old. This thing's all been a sham the whole time. And I say that as someone who believes in love. I say that as someone who wants to see people happy, generally speaking, unless I hate

you, then I want you to be miserable or unless you fired me. And then most of the time, I also want you to be miserable. But outside of that, I want you to be happy and I want love to conquer all as it should but I don't believe that this is real love this Travis Kelsey hundred million dollars for a podcast which more power to you I'm trying to take your money I'm trying to count your dollar dollar bills y'all you do you you and your brother have built yourself into this huge commodity and someone's paying you a hundred million dollars for your podcast more power to you i don't hate you for it but i think most people with a brain would look at this and go yeah these are these this ain't a real thing the problem is like again the hardest part about it is wondering how she benefits from any of this like oh but she's seen on the nfl big deal she's a bigger star than most people in the NFL.

Most people in the NFL, you're not going to take Stefan Diggs. He's not going to put 100,000 people in a stadium three nights in a row to watch him sing. She is a gigantic star. She brought eyeballs to the NFL. The NFL eyeballs didn't go to her. So that kind of goes to the other part of the conspiracy, which is the NFL is obviously in on it because they're looking for more eyeballs in on that. Now that I could buy.

But at no point does Taylor benefit from any of this. There's no benefit for her. There's nothing she gains from banging Travis Kelsey at all. But he has a ton to gain because once he was going to retire, he was just kind of a do football player. You got to fight for your right to party. Woo. Now he's so important in the podcast world that he and his brother just got a hundred million dollars. They're set. He's in movies. Now, none of this would have happened. He would have had a podcast and I'm

sure it would have had some value, not a hundred million dollar value. I was just listening to my buddy, Matt, talk about his wife, Matt, and Bat Rouge is on the radio. His wife is going over to a friend's house to watch Thursday Night Football, the opener, and the only reason she's going over there is so she can watch Travis Kelsey play. Doesn't care about any of the teams, just cares about Travis Kelsey because he's dating Taylor.

You know who she's not going to care about once they break up? Travis Kelsey. Why? Because it's no doubt going to be his fault, and he's no doubt going to be the theme of some childish song that she's going to perform and dance around like a dweeb in front of 100,000 people. So take that for what it is.

I'm all in on the conspiracy, and I believe that this leaked breakup contract is real. I'm going to ride with that until I die.