The Josh Innes Show - TNF Winners and Losers!!!!

Episode Date: September 19, 2025

Tyler Dragon is back with another "Winners and Losers" story for USA Today. Nothing excites me more than when I log on to USA Today and see that ol' T-Drag has put pen to paper on a "Winners and Losers" piece. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Oh, no. There's a story right under it that says WNBA playoff winners and losers. Well, the winners will be whatever teams won games. The losers will be anyone who fucking watched it. Well, let's take a look at the winners and losers of Thursday night football. Now, again, this is one of our favorite pastimes, right? I love to read the winners and losers of football games as posted by USA Today and then try to predict who their winners and their losers will be. So let's play a couple commercials and let's dive headfirst into it. All right, winners and losers of Thursday night football.

Oh, Tyler Dragon, yes! the dragons here. Tyler Dragon. It's one thing when it's Nate Davis to write these. It's another thing when it's Tyler fucking dragon, baby. We're a T-Dragon household. We love him. We live for Tyler Dragon's stories about winners and losers from Thursday night football. Hell yes. Headline, Bills win 13 straight home game. Winners and losers from Thursday night football. Speaking to Bill's home games, the fact that Bills are going to play in a brand new stadium, disgust me. these new stadiums disgust me i hate them they are charmless they are soulless they are giant corporate shopping malls that have no life whatsoever and no personality congrats on your four

billion dollar stadiums they suck i've been to a couple of like i've been to the the one in minnesota the one in minnesota i'm like what are we doing here like it has no personality like if i wanted all the amenities of a club i'd go to a fucking club to watch a game it's a football game sodie pops, give me ice cold beer, give me some popcorn. I don't need towel inside a fucking football game. I don't want it. I don't desire it. You're supposed to be uncomfortable in a football game.

If you're in the Midwest, there's supposed to be a chance it snows when you're at a game. If you're playing Buffalo, it should be a cold, miserable setting where all the people get their shovels out and shovel the snow. Like, that is Bill's Mafia. That is blue-collar Buffalo. Buffalo is not corporate billion, five-billion-dollar stadiums. I hate that. I despise that.

They are personalityless, soulless caverns, as all these stadiums are. At least in baseball stadiums, each one has its own kind of quarks and its own personality and its own distances down the line. Like there are its own skylines. There are things that are unique about these ballparks. These football stadiums are just dick swinging owners who are looking to extract more money from the consumer. So they build these ridiculous stadiums with shit that nobody needs. Nobody needs, you know, like I was reading about the Saints and all the changes they made to the Superdome.

I'm like, hey, did you just make it easier for me to get draft beer? How about that? Make sure that I have draft beer at a stadium. I don't want canned pints or aluminum pints. I don't want 25 ounce canned beer. Give me delicious, frothy draft beer everywhere. It's difficult to find. You be shocked how difficult it is to find draft beer at stadiums.

Anywho, let's find out who the winners and losers are from the 13th straight home game win for the bills. I'm going to guess that probably Josh Allen's a big winner in this. I mean, he's won 13 straight home games. I'm going to say that Josh Allen is a big winner. I'm going to say, I'm trying to think if we even had a big game yesterday. Like James Cook, I'm going to say, it'll be something like the Bills who have a new stadium coming. The Bills fans, Bill's Mafia, who have a new stadium coming next year, something like that. I mean, the loser would be the Dolphins.

The loser, oh, it's got to be Tua because he threw another pick. Or like, Tua believers, that'll be it. Losers, Tua Truthers or something. And then probably Mike McDaniel's job staff. something like that. Let's see. Oh, look who the first winner of the night was. James fucking Cook. Whoa!

The bill's running back rushed 19 times for 108 yards and one touchdown. So again, they pay you to write obvious shit. Who were the winners and losers last night? I don't know, the running back who had 108 yards rushing and a touchdown. Yes, that guy was the winner. the guy who had 73 rushing yards in the first half. Yep, that guy was one of the winners. Who would have thunk it?

Josh Allen on Thursday night was a winner. Alan is 8-0 as a starting quarterback in Thursday games. Allen tied with Russell Wilson, Dak, Prescott, and Kurt Cousins for six fastest in NFL history to reach 200 career basing touchdowns. So there's the two. Terrell Bernard gets clutch interception late in the fourth quarter. So just to be clear. So far, the three winners, according to the dragon, enter the dragon, the three winners have been the guy that got the interception that pretty much sealed the game, the running back who led all running backs with rushing yards in the game, and the quarterback, who was the quarterback of the winning team in the game. Three winners so far.

Wow. Hey, guess who loser number one was? Tua, Tagavaloa. Wow, who would have thunk at the Tua, the losing quarterback who threw a pick while driving to try to tie the game and threw it right to the defensive player? Who would have thought that Tua would have been one of the losers? Questions are beginning to circulate surrounding Tagavaloa standing as the franchise quarterback. He's gotten off to a slow start this season, came into week three with a 90.6 passer rating, which ranked in the bottom half of starters, then he threw a pick. So we are like four for four on this.

Mike McDaniel on the hot seat. Wow, how about that? Wow, Mike McDaniel, another one of the losers in there. Who would have thunk it? And then the Dolphins' offense was a loser in there as well. Boy, let me tell you. Let me see if Tyler, has Tyler Dragon written anything recently that we want to read? Let me click on his picture.

Old T. Dragon. You have no idea how much I love Tyler Dragon. Tyler Dragon is the guy, like when a big game happens, my first thought is I need to go find what Tyler Dragon thought of this game. American Woman makes history in 400 at World Championships. Boy, he's getting to write the good shit. Jim Harbaugh calls Derwin James Best Safety he's ever seen. Oh, these stories are all child's play. This is all bullshit compared to Bill's and Josh Allen big winners on Thursday night football.

That's what we're here for. We're here for Tyler Dragon. This man gets paid to do this shit. That's what's crazy. This guy, every two weeks, I would assume every two weeks, gets a paycheck. And he gets that paycheck because he writes shit like, hey, Josh Allen was a big winner on Thursday night football. Oh, you mean to tell me the quarterback who won the game was a big winner on Thursday night football? Whoa.

That's crazy. What a take. Boy, I love that shit. can't get enough of it like the and they keep they feed it to me they feed it to me and then what I do is they hand it to me in solid form I put it on a spoon I light a lighter underneath that bad boy I melt it down I put it in a syringe I tie myself off I inject it into my fucking eyeballs I love it so much I love when Tyler Dragon writes a winners and losers for Thursday night football story. Like, it, like, nothing makes this man harder than Igneous Rock than when Tyler

Dragon writes a story about football winners and losers for Thursday night football. Like, I cannot begin to tell you, like, I am so erect right now. If I stood up, I would knock, like, my drink off of the table. If I made a quick turn, like, if I, if I, if I swift, if I made a swivel in my hips, I would knock it right off. I'd be like, what do you want me to do? Cut it off? Like it's like that is how erect I am thinking about Tyler Dragon writing a Thursday night football winners and fucking loser story. It makes it like I could like Sydney Sweeney can walk in here right now. Tits bouncing everywhere. Looking boy shorts. Looking great. And she says, hey, take me, Josh. I'm like, I'm sorry. This boner is reserved for a Tyler Dragon

winners and losers of Thursday night football story. You're getting me soft. Get out of here. Unless you've got, unless there is a winners and losers for the fever fucking sky game as written by Tyler Dragon, then I don't want it. Like, if you came in here and you were holding a winners and losers from last night's WNBA playoffs, I'd be good. I'd say, come on over and read it aloud to me.

but if you don't have that to offer me, then get the fuck out of here, sitting and put some clothes on. But Tyler Dragon, on the other hand, when he writes one of these stories, I'm a winner. Like, when I wake up in the morning, like I wake up on a Friday morning,

I'm like, am I a winner or a loser today? And then you know what I do? I go to USA today and I see that Tyler Dragon has written a winners and losers story for Thursday night football. And I tell myself, Josh, you're a fucking winner. That's winning.

That's Charlie Sheen. That's fucking Santana. I'm winning. I'm winning. That's me. And I don't feel like losing again. That's me. When Tyler Dragon writes a Thursday night football

winners and losers story. I've had great moments in my life. Like there have been some really significant things that have happened to me. I've made love to ladies before. I've touched a breast. I've done some shit. But all of that pales in comparison to the feeling I get. First time I touched a tint, first time all that.

Like, those were fine feelings. But when Tyler Dragon writes a Thursday night football winners and losers story, and it's there fresh for me to read when I wake up at 3.45 in the morning on a Friday, Think about how quickly my man has to turn this shit around. Like, it would take a mere mortal maybe days to come up with that kind of shit. He'd have to go back, watch the film, wait for the all 22. Because he's got to watch the all 22. Because Tyler Dragon wants to make sure he's giving you the most accurate story about who the real winners and losers of a game that there was a clear winner and loser of.

He would write, like he has to see it. The fact that he gives this to us and can see it and remember it without having to watch the all 22, the guy's a fucking. Savant. And the fact that I can wake up at 3.45 in the morning, Eastern Standard Time, on a Friday, and know that my man T. Dragon already has a winners and losers of Thursday night football waiting for me. Like, that's how I know I'm blessed. Hashtag blessed.

That's how I know I'm a lucky man. That's how I know that. There's a book written by a man named Michael J. Fox. You might know him as The Teen Wolf. Michael J. Fox wrote a book called Lucky Man. I think I'm luckier than you because I have seen a Tyler Dragon Thursday Night Football Winners and Losers Story on USA Today. You know what hurts me the most is I have to wait seven more days.

I don't know how many hours that is, 24 times seven, whatever that is. I have to wait that many hours. and that many days and that many minutes and that many seconds to get another Tyler Dragon Thursday night football winners and losers story. It's almost not fair. I want to write my local congressman and be like, I demand that Tyler Dragon write a winners and losers for every game.

But then maybe it wouldn't be as exciting. Maybe the waiting is like the suspense is what's doing it for me. Maybe that's what's getting me so hard right now. It's like there's a suspense. It's like how you're willing. waiting like two. Like if you got paid for work every day, then payday wouldn't be that exciting because it's every day.

But then payday comes around every two weeks. You're like, fuck, it's payday, brother. $187? Fuck. Like payday is a big day. If it happened every day, it wouldn't be the same. If T-Drag wrote a Thursday night football winners and losers every day, maybe it'd lose its luster.

I need to be teased. I need to wait. I need a little foreplay from my. T. Dragon. More to come.