The Josh Innes Show - Unwoke Jamokes: Josh's Brain Doesn't Work

Episode Date: October 6, 2022

Hello Again! You've asked for more Jilly and you're getting more Jilly. This has been a hellish week for me due to the fact I'm doing 3 radio shows with zero help. Jilly is convinced my brain is shutting down. Also, I think I may have developed carpal tunnel from holding my phone too much. I'm also petrified of the Cardinals/Phils series. Also, we take a look at this weekends football point spreads. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is the Josh Ennis Show. Howdy everybody and welcome in to the Josh Ennis Show. Well this is the Unwoke Jamokes. It's Josh and Jelly. There's so many names. I've given a name to everything we do. I try to differentiate a little bit, right? When is the Bones and Hoes podcast dropping?

Soon. Because I heard a rumor that now this new way of you doing these podcasts that luther may get his moment he may he may you never know could be time for bones and oats the b and h we've been talking about bones and hoes for three years could be it finally it might happen a lot of folks are downloading we appreciate that Some still don't know that I've restarted the podcast. And then someone said something that jogged my mind and my memory. And I said, ah, that's something I should tell people that I didn't think of, is that basically the host site that I use is no longer Spreaker.

It's a different site. So if people were listening to it on Spreaker, which I didn't realize that there were people just listening to it through Spreaker. I think a lot of people were because I get a couple of messages about that too. Yeah, it is no longer going to be on Spreaker. I use something called Megaphone, but I don't know if you can listen to it on Megaphone or not, but that is how it's being distributed now is via Megaphone. So you can't hear it on Spreaker anymore. However, you can hear it everywhere else you heard it before. And somebody asked about the Twitch. And I'm not deleting the Twitch or anything like that.

It's not like I'm banned. We were banned for three days because we showed Tommy Lee's dick. But what a way to go. We had AJ Hoffman and Tommy Lee's dick. And that's how the party ended. Now that I'm thinking about it. So the night that the party was happening and we got banned and got kicked off that night, were we in the middle of talking to AJ when that happened?

Or had we already finished? And then boom, they kicked us off. I think we'd already finished with AJ. I think we're talking to somebody else, but I don't remember who now. And then boom, they kicked us off. And that was that. Now we're not banned from there. We can go on Twitch, and at some point we still will and hang out.

And I need to go on Twitch at some point and just explain to people who are on Twitch and follow us there what the situation is with Twitch, and I'll do that here in the next couple days or so. I'll get on there and let you guys know. I'm afraid of, like, because remember, we did YouTube Live, so it's not, I don't know that it's going to set up and work for Twitch we changed a lot of shit oh we sure did didn't we yeah so I don't know oh I moved it

back over so we may not have Twitch because we drunkenly did that if you'll recall I'm going to have to drunkenly try to remember it again because I don't like the whole process so no shit you'll have to find like the stream key and all that stuff again no shit so maybe i

won't be on twitch anytime soon but anyway welcome in i appreciate all the people downloading all the episodes you know i'm trying to do at least two a day one in the morning because i got some time in the morning despite the fact that i've got a ton of shit that's going on with all these other radios i'm kind of concerned about your brain why is? Because you've actually like had some really like Alzheimer's esque moments. I wouldn't call them Alzheimer's. I wouldn't call them Alzheimer's moments. I mean you've told me the same story three times today

and truly had no recollection of telling me. That's true. Well the thing is so. You named the wrong Van Halen album today. That never happens. Yeah I was on the station in Detroit. To be fair, that's not because my brain wasn't working. That's because I'm doing three shows at the same fucking time.

And I was just like, my brain is fried, right? People should be blowing me for this. This is an impressive feat that I'm pulling off here. I know other people have done difficult shit. And there are people that have gone out and, you know, like rescued people from like Everest and shit. I'm not telling you it's the most impressive thing that's ever been done. However, the fact that I'm simultaneously doing three goddamn radio shows and not once do I mess up any of the station names or forget to change it. Cause again, I'm doing them all at the same time. So it's a really

difficult thing. And, uh, so what I fucked up today is, uh, we were doing a Van Halen tribute thing because today is the anniversary of Eddie's death. And, uh, I went to program director Jonathan and was like, Hey, why don't we just call it Eddie's greatest licks and just play extra Van Halen today. Maybe some deeper, I say deep cuts. We're never going to be a deep cut station, but just cuts that we don't play all the time that are still very well-known songs. We just don't play them. Well, we also did it in Detroit and I was talking about, uh, was it pound cake? I was talking about pound cake.

And I said, yeah, that's of course from OU812. It's not, it's for, from unlawful carnal knowledge. And I fucked up and I get a text from the PD there. Hey, uh, uh, pound cake is from fuck. It's not from, uh, it's not from uh it's not from uh oh you ate one too and I'm like my fucking bad guess what not one person fucking messaged me about it so they didn't give a fuck but anyway yes I I do think I have and I think maybe here's what might need to happen I might need to sleep for eight days and then maybe I'll be recharged that might

be what I need I might need to sleep for eight goddamn days. And now part of it is I've also started drinking these coffee drinks. Like we have a whole fridge now full of creamers and all these different cold brews that I drink. That's kind of a new, that's actually a new development since the last time we talked with our audience is that I've started drinking these cold brews. So I get up in the morning and I pour this Chobani cold brew into a cup with some ice. Then I put a little creamer, different flavored creamers in it, and I drink these. Perhaps by the afternoon, my brain really gets fucked. Because while I'm doing it in the morning, it's not all that bad. I've got a little bit of energy, I'm kind of whatever.

By the afternoon, it's kind of a crash, the mixture being tired and not having any more coffee. And you don't embrace naps. You can't nap. I am the worst at napping. I can't do it. So that's kind of the pain in the ass of it. Also, since the last time we spoke, I think I might have carpal tunnel.

I used to have that. I think like, now tell me this about carpal tunnel. I'm going to hold up my hand so you can see. Is this where carpal tunnel pain is? Mine was on the other, like the top part of the wrist. But yeah. I think I've developed carpal tunnel or some sort of wrist injury. It's probably from your phone.

Absolutely it's from my phone. There's no doubt about it. I can't put the fucker down. And part of it is I'm constantly looking for shit to talk about in these places, which is difficult because, like, I love Memphis. I consider Memphis to be like a place where we almost live. You know, like I know enough about Memphis, and I used to live there when I was a kid for a little bit,

and we used to go there all the time when I was a kid. So I know Memphis and that's why I'm glad to be on in Memphis. Here's the problem with Memphis. You look for upbeat, happy stories to talk about. Memphis ain't the fucking town for that, man. You go to any of the local news sites in Memphis and I'll tell you what you're going to get. You're going to get drive-by shooting. You're going to get person abducted and raped. You're going to get stabbed. You're going to get, hey, some asshole set a dog on fire. So the one that we got the other day was a guy got arrested, bit the cop, bit his thumb off, and then yelled, I have AIDS. These are the stories you get in Memphis. There's no, hey, this is a really

great story where, you know, somebody in fairness, in reality, there are good stories in Memphis because St. Jude is in Memphis and great things happen at St. Jude, but these are not things you're going to get on the radio and talk about, you know, you're looking for something funny, but not like, like you like crime stories, but you don't like stories that involve somebody getting plugged all the time or like some kid dying you know because it's kind of hard to find humor on it on you know a on a major radio station well i do stupid news and like stupid criminals all the time that's kind of like all i do but i never do ones that result in death like even if it's a dumb way of dying like the

one was really hard not to make fun of and i'll do it here because we're all friends yeah but there was this guy that was doing a handstand on a balcony in South Carolina during Hurricane Ian. Yep. And died because he got blown off the balcony. Well, he's a fucking moron. But I wouldn't do that on the radio because you just, you don't know. I would, but I would do that in Nashville.

I would do it with somebody else with me. Yeah. Like, because we did that in Nashville because the dude was doing a handstand on the party bus. He didn't die, though. No, but I mean, that's the reason why all these people bitch about party buses, because there's dopes doing handstands. Or like the woman that rode the scooter down the hill ran into the back of the truck and

died. Oh, she did die, yeah. And I didn't make fun of it, but I said, what do you think is going to happen when you put fucking scooters out on Broadway with all these drunk people? Motorized scooters. The fuck do you think is going to happen? But in Memphis, like today, like the lightest true crime story

we've been able to find since we've been on in three weeks. You know what we've been able to find? Dude, these people working at Chick-fil-A spit in the Chick-fil-A. Yeah, like only there. Who has bad Chick-fil-A employees? Memphis! Somehow Memphis has ruined Chick-fil-A. Chick-fil-A employees? Memphis! Somehow Memphis has ruined Chick-fil-A.

Chick-fil-A is perfect everywhere. That is West Memphis, Arkansas. It's the Memphis metropolitan area. Everything else there. What's baffling about that is Chick-fil-A is the most perfect fast food establishment ever. Yet in Memphis, somehow you can find a negative story. Other than of course, you know, the fact that people think they're, you know, anti-gay and trans and everything else. And it always makes negative news. Those same people probably eat Chick-fil-A

because it is delicious. So, um, but that, that's the hard part about Memphis, man. It is a, it is a real task in Detroit's the same way, right? Like doing the Detroit stuff, and you're not on in Detroit, but the Detroit stuff is tough because, again, you go to the news outlets and every story, now they've got their governor race going on, so there's that. But then you've also got just negative stories about people getting shot or buildings being condemned or the city's bankrupt. And I'm like, what the fuck do I do with this? And it's also tough because I'm not in these places,

you know, and that's part of how you build a good show is you have a rapport talking with the people on the phones and you're there. And it's also kind of a pain in the ass with that. I enjoy doing it. Like, I think it's cool. And I like being on in these cities and it's, you know, it's a challenge and it's a task and I'm into it. Yeah, but it'd be cool if we could connect with the people more. Correct. That's the hard part. There's a lack of connection. The reason why the show is so successful in Nashville

is because I have a connection with the people. And we talk all the time and we're out in the streets. That's not really the case. And you're giving stuff away because let's be real, people like to win free stuff. Well, people are prize pigs. Like I could give away a brown paper bag full of dog shit and people would want it. You could, but I do think it hurts shows when you can't do giveaways.

I think that's fair. I think it loses a little bit of its interactiveness. We had front row Elton John tickets in Nashville. I mean, that's a big deal. That's something you can promote for a week. Like, guys, listen, we got front row, you know, I feel like in these other stations and you don't have that, kind of like,

eh. Yeah, I think that's fair i think it's fair so uh and that's why my brain is fried now this week it's been even more so because battles down there fucking drinking tequila in goddamn mexico yeah it looks like he's living the life like this battle who never drinks anything or anything sending me text messages bro i just bought this titan's luchador mask bro like cool of course he did i'm like what do you mean you he sends me a picture of it it's a titan's luchador mask, bro. Like, cool. Of course he did. I'm like, what do you mean you bought it? He sends me a picture of it. It's a Titans luchador mask that he bought from a street cart in Mexico. Like, how did you find this?

Do they just sell NFL team luchador masks on the street? I feel like your dad in battle might be actually really good friends. Why is that? Well, remember, like, your dad, he too, when he travels to other countries on cruises and whatnot, buys snakeskin cowboy boots and well dad bought those cowboy boots for grandpa ralph for cowboy ralph venice thinking that they were like authentic gator some shit and like he bought them for cheap as hell and it turns out they're not authentic gator boots they were nothing they were junk i mean look if your dad was in mexico and there was a scooby-doo luchador mask i think

he'd buy it oh no doubt so i think he and battle may dad was in Mexico and there was a Scooby-Doo luchador mask, I think he'd buy it. Oh, no doubt. So I think he and Battle may have that in common. And they're both dopes. I think that's an important part of all this, too. Let me see if I can find the picture for you so you can see Battle's luchador mask. Oh, there it is. So there's Battle's Titan's luchador mask.

He was going to come to work wearing that on Monday. He claims he's bought a whole bunch of tequila. And he's going to bring me some authentic tequila. I'm like, okay, you got it, buddy. You got it. So he's down there living the fucking life, getting a tan. I'm seeing pictures of him on boats and jet skis and shit. Oh, I know.

I don't know where they stay, but the resort they're at looks gorgeous. And I'm over here like, well, I'm an athlete. Never in my life have I actually had to do as much work as I'm doing this week ever. And that includes doing shows that were four and five hours. Like when we were in Houston the first time, initially me and Rich were doing a five-hour show. Me and Tony did a five-hour show initially in Philly. Like I have never done as much work as I've done this week. I get there at four, and I've leaving it after noon trying to get shit done.

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Limited time offer, see terms at picksix.draftkings.com slash promos. Speaking of Go Hogs, we gotta look at some of the football matchups from this week. I think LSU is beating Tennessee. I don't know. And I think the Cardinals are losing to the Phillies in this series, and I'm going to be really pissed off. I talked about it earlier in the Jits and Wake Up.

I'm going to be extremely pissed because I have an opportunity, you and I have an opportunity to go to St. Louis with Dad. He's already bought the tickets. Like we were going to go this weekend. We're like, I'm not going to buy the tickets and hotels are expensive. Dad calls and says, hey, if they're in St. Louis on the 15th, I'll buy us tickets. Sure as fuck. We got tickets.

They're in my phone right now. And all the Cardinals have to do is win this series and not get swept in the next one. And we're going to St. Louis to see the Cardinals. But I know they're going to fuck it up up I have like I have zero positivity right now is it just because it's the Phillies or just I think that's a major part of it all plays into it because remember and I am going to bring this up again and I know just because like we're not on Twitch that doesn't mean the bet is nullified if the Phillies win the World Series you have to get the tattoo of Bryce Harper hitting the Liberty Bell with a hoagie. You do know that nobody would have remembered that.

And now you've brought up nobody would have remembered that shit, Jilly. Yes, they would have. Nobody would have. And now it's back again. So. Like, I'm confident that the Phillies aren't winning the World Series. I'm also confident that they're going to beat the Cardinals. And that is going to just wreck everything.

First of all, it's McDougal. Second of all, it's going to keep me from getting to go to Bush Stadium and see a playoff game, which I have not seen a Cardinals playoff game since I went to, what, the World Series in 2013. So it's been almost a decade. Bullshit is what we're dealing with here. Bullshit. Like, it couldn't have been anybody else. If the Brewers weren't such assholes.

By the way, tell the Brewers, if you're listening, go fuck yourselves. Or anybody associated with the Brewers, anyone who roots for the Brewers weren't such assholes. By the way, tell the Brewers, if you're listening, go fuck yourselves. Or anybody associated with the Brewers, anyone who roots for the Brewers, you're all fucking assholes. Like, literally, the Phillies bent over for all these shitty teams like the Cubs and everybody else and said, please, fuck us. We suck. And every team did. Yet somehow the Brewers couldn't find a way to win enough games to get that fucking wild card. I feel we would have beaten the Brewers couldn't find a way to win enough games to get that fucking wild card I feel we would have beaten the Brewers the Cardinals would have beaten the Brewers and would have gone on to the next round and I probably would have gotten an opportunity to go to a damn

baseball game but because it's the Phillies I know that the sports gods are here to fuck me that's all it is Jilly I'm going to get fucked by this just like we I did we should buy real talk we should have gotten fucked by philadelphia and new orleans that time they were driving and all sean jeffrey by some miracle of some divine intervention dropped that wide open pass and the saints intercepted it if not we lose that game and philly fucks me in the ass on that one now it's gonna happen again and this time the job's gonna get done i just know it. That's why I'm glad we're not going this weekend

because you know McDougal's going to find his way to St. Louis. And McDougal would recognize me. Yes. And then the first thing McDougal would say is, you're Josh Ennis, why are you trolling the fucking Phil's here? Why are you wearing the Cardinals? Guys, that's not the fucking team I root for. God damn it.

So yeah, that's going to happen. I think LSU's winning. I think the Cardinals are losing. If I had my druthers, I would want the Cardinals to win and I'd take the LSU loss. If I really had my super druthers, they'd both win and I'd get blitzed this weekend and life would be great. And you've just given up on the Saints.

Yeah, that's over. They're terrible. Actually, defensively, I still think they're pretty good. Last week you said you didn't care. You didn't want to watch. You didn't care what happens. And by the end of that game, there you are pacing around the bedroom screaming to the point that the neighbors outside definitely could hear you. Well, fuck them.

These jamokes shoot off fireworks every time a fucking team scores a touchdown. They can listen to my bitching for five minutes. At the beginning of that game was I don't fucking care what they do. I didn't. I had every intention to sleep in and not see that game. And even during the game, I was like, all right, whatever. But it's weird. When the refs start fucking your team over,

that's when you really kind of get back into it. You're like, fuck you. And it's like us versus them. But yeah, that's over. That's a tough one. But so that's what's coming up this weekend. It's I'm not overly excited about the Cardinals. Maybe, though, the fact that they've gone into the playoffs so shittily

means they'll emerge victorious. When they won in 2006, it's important to note, and Astros fans will know this, I think the Cardinals lost, they only won like five games in September, some stupid number, and they had to hang on on the last day of the year. They had to get a Scott Spezio big base knock to win a game, I think, against the Brewers that kept them ahead of the Astros. And then they ended up winning the World Series.

I don't know if that's going to happen here. Neither team is going in particularly hot. You know who's been out of sight, out of mind is the Astros, though. Like, they haven't played a meaningful baseball game in, like, two months. Yeah, it's been a while. So that's weird, man. But Verlander, boy, he still fucking showed up that last game he pitched. Show up and show out.

That's what he do. He struck out 10 in, like, five innings, I think it was. Actually, I think he struck out, like, 10 through four or something ridiculous. But, yeah, no Verlander, the man. So they're going to, I mean, I would assume they're going to cruise into the LCS and they're going to play the Yankees. Well, they're going to play either their first round matchup. The divisional series will either be the Mariners or the Blue Jays.

I talked about this earlier, like, and I don't want to get into who's going to have great TV ratings and shit because nobody cares. But just from a standpoint of looking at teams and going, oh, they're interesting. Like, let me ask you a question. Outside of being in a stadium, have you ever met a person who identifies as a fan of the Toronto Blue Jays? I feel like I have more so than like a Rays fan. I have also never met a Tampa Rays fan. And I've met one Seattle Mariners fan outside of a ballpark.

And that is Craig Gass. And Bootsy. But Bootsy is a fuck. By the way, tomorrow I'll be on Bootsy's program. I think 1045 tomorrow. You can catch me on with the Bootsy show on 97.5 in Houston, if you're interested. But you look at those teams and it's like, nobody gives a fuck about the Mariners historically or any of these teams.

The American League is like a who's who of no names. I can't wait to hear the Astros Twitter folks complain how the national media wants Seattle to win. Yes, and they will. Because in fairness, there's a lot of dipshits involved on Astros Twitter, like really stupid people, bless their hearts. And again, that's not all Astros fans, that's just Astros Twitter. Astros Twitter is... We will root for the Astros.

Oh yeah! We are rooting for the Astros. Yeah, I do. I like the Astros. It's that time of the year where Astros Twitter... And do you think I want to sit there and root for Aaron Judge? Mr. all-time home run champ? Fuck no. It's that time of the year when Astros Twitter cries because there's no more Blummer. Yeah, boy, life gets tough.

It's a tough go of it whenever there's no more Blummer. I hope they get AJ Pruszynski again. I love AJ. And I love how they fucking hate AJ Pruszynski with a passion. Well, if you're right, they'll have the booth with AJ and Wano again because Wano ain't going to be busy. Well, hey, thank Christ the Cardinals decided not to start Wano. He's on, for some ungodly reason

he's on the roster. I think he's on the playoff roster for if we get a situation where they're down 10-0 in the third and they're like, alright, Waino. We need someone. Just go eat some innings for us. This ball game's over and we need to rest the pen for tomorrow. I do like the idea of starting Quintana. They're going with the

lefty. I like that. That's former White Sox player, Jose Quintana. That're going with the lefty. I like that. That's former White Sox player, Jose Quintana. That's also former Pittsburgh Pirate and Cub. He's basically owned that division. I think he's played for three of the teams in that division. But yeah, so you look at the American League and it's just

like every team in there. It's kind of like if you look at the National League, almost every team in there, like every great historic brand in the National League is in the playoffs this year. Like, I'm trying to think of one that's not. The Mets are a great brand historically. The Dodgers are one of the great brands of all time.

The Padres? Okay, the Padres aren't. That's probably the weak link. Yes, but my point is, is there a team that is a great national league maybe the cubs you know the cubs are a great brand you know nationally outside of the cubs you look around the national league and go is there a team missing from this year's nl post season and the answer is really no i mean across the board the national league has basically every big name team that's ever played baseball in the national league

Braves are huge Cardinals are huge Dodgers are huge Mets are obviously New York Phillies are the losing this franchise ever or whatever the fuck it is but they've been around for 150 years so they're a huge brand in Philadelphia who am I missing like who is there a big national league team I think like you said the Cubs if the Cubs weren't over the Padres, they'd have the perfect team. They'd have every team. Then go to the American League, and outside of the Yankees, virtually all the American League big-name brands are not there, and it's a bunch of upstarts.

No offense to the Astros. The Astros, historically, are not a big American League brand because they're a National League ball club for most of their existence, and they're a Johnny-come-lately, you know, last six years being a good team. The thing that the Astros have going is that people hate them. So at least there's something interesting about it. They're good, and people hate them, which is good. When you say, like, the big-name teams, though, like, in the American League, though, who

would you rather be in? Yankees. Well, no, I'm just saying historically. I know, but, like, in the American League, really? Oh, yeah, Boston. Boston would... Yeah, that's the other thing about the American League, the junior circuit, is that a lot of American League teams aren't big time.

Things like, like if you look at the most successful American League teams historically, they're not teams that you would look at and go, boy, people, you know, salivate. Like you realize that Oakland, the A's as a franchise and all the years they've been around in other cities and everything, they've won a ton, a ton. You know, not recently, but they've won a ton. Like, they're one of the more, like, if you looked up a list of franchises that have the most World Series titles, you'd have the Yankees at number one, the Cardinals would be at number two.

Who the fuck's number three? Is it, is it the A's? Like, I'm trying to think of that. Well, the Giants, well, no, the Giants really didn't win a ton either. The Giants were a Johnny-come-lately winner. Let's see, Dodgers. How many times? The Dodgers haven't won a lot either.

When they were in Brooklyn, they won once. When they were in L.A., I think they've won now three times. So I don't think the Dodgers, I mean, unless I'm missing something, I think the Dodgers are three or four times they've won. Who has the third most World Series title? It's a tie with someone. Let's see here. Yankees are one.

Cardinals are two. Yep. Is it the A's? And three, the Athletics. Look at that. See, that's my point. So one of the all-time name brand winningest franchises, old school, of course, the A's. That's in the American League.

The American League is just loaded with kind of throwaway younger organizations. And the Red Sox. It's both the Red Sox and the A's have won nine. The A's have won nine World Series? Yeah. Now, granted, they played in where? Philadelphia. Right.

They played in Kansas City. You know, they've been in Oakland. So they've been around, and they've been around for a long time. But you think about the American League, and you're like, who the fuck? Like, a lot of them are the newer teams teams too, like the Mariners and the Texas Rangers and the Angels. How many of the Angels won? Have they won three?

I don't know. This list doesn't cover that. This list is only like the top ten. Okay, give me the top. Let me try to guess then. So you said the A's and Red Sox are tied at nine. You already got the Yankees with 27. And the Cardinals. You already got the Cardinals with 11.

So the Dodgers. The Dodgers are... No. No. There's one more team ahead of the Dodgers. There's a team with eight. There's a team that's won eight World Series? Okay. It's not the Cubs. Not the Brewers. The Braves. No.

The Braves haven't won enough either. Baltimore? No. No. God, who haven't won enough either. Baltimore? No. No. God, who the fuck am I missing? Is it obvious? Yeah, I mean, you named them before. Okay. I've named them before. Okay. Are they

an American League team? No. No, they're a National League team. Okay. It's not the Mets. It's not the Pirates. It's not the Mets. It's not the Pirates. It's not the Cubs. It is not the Brewers. It's not the Braves. The Phillies.

Nope. Who the fuck is it? They won in 2014. Fuck, won in 2014. They also won in 2012. Oh, the Giants. The Giants. The Giants. Yeah, duh.

Moron. This is stupid. I don't want to play this fucking game anymore. Then the Dodgers have seven wins, then the Pirates have five wins. Yeah, but when's the last time the Pirates won the World Series? It was in fucking 1979. Then the Reds also have five World Series. But the Big Red Machine basically won all their shit in the 70s.

And won in 1990. And they won in 90 when they beat Oakland. And the Braves have four. The Tigers have four. The White Sox have three. The Twins have three. Honestly, the Tigers would be another one of those historical franchises from the American League. The American League does not have great historical franchises.

That's why the American League playoffs are so uninteresting because you've got all these new teams. And they're not good new teams. They're teams that are, like, occasionally good. Like, the Mariners had a moment in the late 90s, then they won 116 games in 2001 and haven't been to the playoffs in two decades. And, of course, you have the Rays, who for the past few years have been pretty good, but no one cares.

No one gives a fuck about the Rays. They almost played home games in Montreal, didn't they? They were supposed to. I don't know if they actually did or not, but that was bandied about. Like, think of that. They've been a great team, like, for the past how many years now? Like, they're always in it. They're always contending.

But they never actually get to the World Series. Well, they got to the World Series when they played the Phillies. Yeah. Didn't they beat the Astros? And they beat the Astros, yeah. So, did they? I thought, remember they beat the Astros, and then they went to the World Series? Yeah.

Fuck, I forgot. Again, my brain didn't work anymore. Pardon me for having a fucking brain that doesn't work. It's not all my fault. I'm working hard. All right, let's look at some of these spreads this weekend. Okay. Let's look at some college.

So is LSU still, what, two and a half, I think, is where LSU is? Last I saw was two and a half. I'm taking LSU money line. Money line? ML. LSU's winning because there's something afoot when LSU, who on paper and in theory, should not be where they are, right? Like you're talking about a team that's a top 10 team in Tennessee and LSU playing an 11 o'clock game. They haven't

beaten anybody of any substance. The one team that was decent they faced, they lost to them. There's no reason why LSU should be a two and a half. And I was talking to Matt. It's up to three. Okay, fine. But you would think LSU was like a ten point favorite on the road against Auburn, right? Think about that. LSU on the road against Auburn was a ten point favorite. Tennessee is on the road at LSU

and they're a field goal favorite? Something's weird about that. LSU's winning. Money lying this weekend. Take it to the bank bitches. That is an LSU's winning. Money, line this weekend. Take it to the bank, bitches. That is an LSU dub. Tomorrow you get the Cougs at Memphis. Memphis is going to win that.

I think they're going to have to fire Dana Holton. Yes, of course they are. They're a fucking joke. Like, this guy was supposed to come in there and be like, oh, he's back, and they got a big-name coach, and he spurned West Virginia. Big 12 next year. Yeah, and guess what? You guys are terrible. Congrats.

You get to go to the Big 12 with no Texas and Oklahoma. You know what they call that? The AAC, where you already are. Memphis is a two-and-a-half point favorite in that game tomorrow. Although Memphis' offense isn't very good, and they struggled with Temple last week. Once they get going, they're all right. I would not bet on U of H to win any football game, i would take memphis yeah that was what we learned in our tigers week

one of uh our betting on and by the way i'm not a u of h hater like i want them to be good yeah they're just not they're gonna have to fire the coach because they're they're a fucking disaster they're a joke uh we have arkansas go hogs at Mississippi State. Go Hogs. Arkansas no longer ranked after the loss to Bama. Well, that made sense, but they shouldn't have lost to A&M, who's a clown show as well. How are people just now discovering these milkmen there, like the yell leaders and the yell practice? I feel like the world's known about this, but now it's really hot on social media with all the yell leaders and the dumb stuff. It's become really hot lately and I don't know why. Well, it's because you talk

shit and lose to Appalachian State. Yeah, that'll do it. This Arkansas-Mississippi State game. Mississippi State a nine and a half point favorite over what, Arkansas? You know. I don't think Arkansas is bad. I just think they had. They got their ass kicked by Alabama. A lot of people are going to get

their ass kicked by Alabama. I would take them to cover that 9.5. They may win. Their money line is plus 260. That's what I'm saying. They may win that. Again, though, that could be one of those lines you look at and go, huh, something's off with this. Because remember, again, LSU was able to beat Mississippi State.

Mississippi State's solid, and I like Mike Leach. There's something about that. There's something, you know, like Arkansas doesn't stink. Like nine seems like a ton. Nine and a half. Yeah, it seems like a ton. And you've got number 17, TCU, at number 19, Kansas.

Okay, here's one of those something's got to give games, right? Kansas is due to just. They're due to fall off the face of the earth. But not only that, TCU scored like 100 against Oklahoma. And I know it's not your dad's Oklahoma and it's not Lincoln Riley's Oklahoma. I get that. But you're right. But to score, they couldn't be stopped.

You would think they're due for a letdown. Right, but so is Kansas. What's the spread? Kansas is a seven-point home underdog. I think they're finally going to lose. After rushing the field last week? They're going to rush the field every week. they're finally going to lose. After rushing the field last week? They're going to rush the field every week. They're due to lose.

Tennessee LSU we already talked about. It's the Red River. What's the over-under in the LSU game? 64.5. Here's the thing. Tennessee's offense looks really explosive. But who have they really played? And they haven't played anybody.

People thought Pitt was going to be really good this year. They weren't. They're not. Miami wasn't anything. Now, again, you could argue LSU's defense hadn't played anybody either. True. But LSU's defense, I think, is going to be the best they've faced. And you saw what happened in the last three quarters of the Auburn game.

LSU gave up a bunch of big plays early and then didn't give up a fucking point for the last three quarters in that game. So they've got talent. 64 seems like a lot because I feel like if LSU is going to win, it's going to be because they shut Tennessee down and they win a game that's in the 20s. It's like a 30-23 game or something like that. Yeah, 64 and I never play over so I wouldn't, but that seems like a lot. But then on the other hand, we talk about the shitty schedule that Tennessee's played. Everybody seems to score on them them so maybe the over is in play but if LSU is to win which I believe they will they're gonna have to win a game where both teams are probably in the 20s and that's clearly gonna be an under then you have the the Red River showdown it's a shootout

god damn it bro I work on the radio in Memphis. I know about shootouts. Texas at Oklahoma, of course. Oklahoma, the home, technically, although it's played in the Cotton Bowl, right? Do they still play the game in the Cotton Bowl? Yeah, they don't play it in Jerry World, right? They still play that outside? I don't know. Fuck if I know.

I think they still play it at the Cotton Bowl. Oklahoma is a nine-and-a-half point underdog. And they're terrible, but Texas isn't great either. Whatever the over is. 65 and a half. Play it. All right. I'll go over.

Mizzou at Florida. They should both be shot. Taken out back and put down. I think Florida will beat the shit out of them, and here's why. Because Missouri basically played their balls off against Georgia. Yep. And still fucking lost. They had their moment.

And Florida's not good either. What's the line? Ten and a half. Florida? Yeah. I do think Missouri, and that's at Florida. Missouri stinks. Like, Georgia just sleptwalked through that game

and still ended up finding a way to win. Missouri's going to get their asses kicked going on the road after a home game against, what, the number one, number two team in the country. I guess number one. No, I guess now they're number two. I think they fell after that. So I think Missouri is going to go down there and just get their fucking doors blown off and Michigan continues with their super tough schedule facing Indiana.

That's arguably the best team they fucking play. They're going to get their comeuppance. It's coming. Let's see what else is interesting on here. Any other in particular you want to no i think i kind of i kind of have the gist auburn and georgia a georgia should you would think they'd be due to bounce back they're going home right yeah and auburn you know just didn't score a fucking point for three quarters against lsu uh let me try to guess what georgia's favored

by i'm gonna guess georgia if lsu was a 10 point favorite in Auburn I'm gonna say that and Georgia might be down a little bit because the game last week I'm gonna say Georgia 34 and a half 29 and a half okay that was relatively close Utah and UCLA is supposed to be a good one that's old chipper ch't lost yet, right? And he's the underdog at home against Utah. Old Chippy. So there's value there if you have faith in Chip. Yeah, I consider old Chipster. Some points in that game, too.

I think the offenses will score in that one. That's a 64.5 point over. Let's look at some of the pro stuff here. All right. Taking a look at pro football. Let me try to guess the lines. I haven't looked at any of them this week because I've been doing mostly live betting and shit.

And I need to at some point just take a break because the live betting shit consumes way too much of my fucking life. Well, again, it's fine when you're actually like watching the game, you know, like, you know, a Sunday when we're all just watching football, hanging out. Fine. But I know betting, you know, German soccer at two in the afternoon. It's I need to find a new hobby around a store and you're just in your phone I know. I need to find a new hobby. To the point where you're walking around a store and you're just in your phone the whole time. I know.

I need to find a new hobby, and it would help my developing carpal tunnel. Yeah, it would. But anyway, so what do we have? Give me the matchup. I'll try to guess the line. You have the Giants at the Packers in London. The Packers are going to be favored by 13 and a half.

No, no, no, no, no. That's wrong because the Giants might get a little bit of love and the Packers haven't scored a ton in this draft. The Giants have a quarterback. Oh, that's also. Is he out? Or he just stinks? They were down to Saquon Barkley at quarterback last week.

Okay, 13 and a half. Eight. That's it? Okay, my bad. Seahawks at Saints. It's going to sound surprising. The Saints, while they're not going to be favored, this game is going to, I'll say the Saints minus one.

Minus five and a half. Really? There's still a lot of respect for the Saints who have no offense. Their defense is still solid, though. Wow, five, huh? The Steelers at the Bills. Steelers are going with old Kenny Pickett, huh? Yes, they are.

It's the Bills, you said? And that's at the? At Buffalo. At Buffalo. Buffalo is going to be favored, and Buffalo has, they've played not so great the last couple weeks. I'm going to go 13.5 Buffalo. 14.

Okay, right on it. Bears at Vikings. Vikings coming back from London. Bears stink. I'm going to say Vikings nine and a half. Seven and a half. Okay. Texans at Jaguars. Jaguars are going to be favored by six and a half seven all right dolphins at jets dolphins at jets the dolphins have no quarterback either right to a he may he rest in peace yeah they have uh oh what's his name oh that guy teddy oh yeah teddy boy i would what i wouldn't give for the saints to have fucking teddy bridgewater right now. And the Jets? Yep. I will say that the pick-em.

Dolphins are a three-point favorite on the road. Okay. Falcons at Buccaneers. The Bucs are going to be favored because I think the Falcons are a farce of a 2-2 team. Tom is 10-0 lifetime against the Falcons. I saw that today. Five and a half. Ten.

Really? Yeah. No respect for the Falcons, which, I mean, they suck. They've got the same record as the Bucs. Great. They suck. And by the way, Tampa sucks too. Tampa should have lost to the fucking Saints is what should have happened.

The Saints got fucked again in that game. They were winning 3-0 the entire time. Mike Evans, who's a pussy, by the way. Mike Evans delivers a cheap shot. They fight. They kick out Marshawn Lattimore, and the wheels fucking fall off. But don't forget that the fucking Saints own Tom Brady and the fucking Bucs. They own you, motherfucker.

And they hosed us in that game. Of course, Tom has a divorce going on now. He looks rough. He looks very skeletal. He does not look good. The Lions are at the Patriots. Let's see. Lions at the Patriots.

That is going to be Patriots 2-1⁄2. 3-1⁄2. Okay. Dude, the Lions are going to score. I mean, presumably, they score on everybody. A lot of it's after they're down by 17. Yes, but once they're down by 17, they don't stop. Good garbage time.

If you're looking for some good garbage time prop bet action, keep an eye on Goff. Goff really loves to put up some numbers late, so keep an eye on Jared Goff. The Titans at the Commanders. Titans... Keep an eye on Jared Goff. The Titans at the Commanders. Titans. Seven and a half. Two and a half.

All day Titans. All day. Two and a half. You were telling me today the Titans are plus 200 to win the division. They are. The division is shit. Yep. So, like, we can talk about how the Titans aren't very good.

Fine. The division sucks. Like, the Jags aren't going to last forever. Plus 200 futures bet on the division? Come on. Sign me up. Chargers at Browns. Let's see.

Chargers at Browns. I will go. I think they're going to give the Browns some sort of. I'm going to go Browns. I'm go... I think they're going to give the Browns some sort of... I'm going to go Browns. I'm going to say pick them. The Chargers, are they two and a half point favorite? Essentially, yeah. 49ers at Panthers.

I'm going to go 49ers nine and a half. Six and a half. And a very low over under at 38 and a half. Yeah, they're daring you. They're just daring you. They say, come on, baby, take it. Theunder at 38.5. Yeah, they're daring you. They're just daring you. They say, come on, baby, take it. The Eagles at the Cardinals. You know what's weird about the Eagles?

It's I don't hate them. And I don't hate Jalen Hurts. Jalen Hurts is very likable. I hate the fans, yes. And Jalen Hurts is from Houston. And I hate the fact that every time they win, everybody's talking about the Super Bowl. They're all fucking meatheads.

I get all that. But the team itself is pretty fucking good. And the old me, I'm still the same guy. What am I saying? But me, in the past, I might have sat there and just rooted for them to lose. But I don't know that I am. Who are they playing? The Cardinals.

Zach Ertz revenge game. By the way, another good garbage time guy is um it's kyler and i don't know what the over under passing yards is going into the game for hurts but a lot of times they set it low and like the other day it was like 238 and he got it in like the first fucking half and they still really haven't adjusted i think he could throw for some yards they're not very good arizona they're always down big. I'm going to say that the Eagles are favored by seven and a half. Five and a half.

Okay. May take that cover. Maybe. Cowboys at Rams. I think people are going to give some love to this cupper rush. He hasn't lost yet The Rams aren't great. No they're not I mean they lost the other day. Another good guy is Matt Stafford to maybe get some garbage yards for you too. Just keep an eye on those live bets

I'm going to go That's at Rams you said? I'm going to say the Rams are favored by four and a half five and a half okay uh that brings us to Bengals at Ravens Ravens are going to be favored by a surprisingly large number I think it's going to be six and a half three and a half really yeah and then you get the Sunday night game which is the Raiders at the Chiefs. Chiefs will be favored by a large

number. I think the Chiefs will be favored by nine and a half. Seven and a half. Okay. And a big Monday note. I hope there's a Manning cast this Monday. I hope so too. I hope there's a Monday. There should be one every day. Wait, what? I'm confused. Every Monday there should be a Manning cast.

What are you looking at? Don't the Titans play the Commanders this week? They do. Are you looking at next week? Did you scroll down too far? Oh, yeah. You know what I did? I read it wrong.

The Monday night game is the Chiefs, and the Sunday night game is the Bengals Ravens. Okay, gotcha. But next week we get the Commanders and the Bears. That's going's gonna be a real epic battle it is going to be a fun one so everybody buckle up for that shit exactly all right so make sure you tell your friends about the podcast it's back and you get multiple episodes a day like just when you think you've had your gist phil bam there's more gist so it's awesome. We love you guys. Uh, but, uh, anyway, we're going to get the hell out of Dodge. You guys are the best go hogs, right? Thank you coach. And, uh, we'll see you.