The Josh Innes Show - Unwoke Jamokes: LFG Astros

Episode Date: November 2, 2022

Hey All! It's Josh and Jilly today. We are both fired up for Game 4 tonight. I was kind of ready to concede defeat, then McDougall went after Mattress Mack and I'm back in. LFG. This sh*t will get you fired up. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Unwoke Jamokes! Josh and Jilly. Hello, Jilly. Hello. Good to see you. People don't hear you anymore. They're like, where's Jilly? Well, I wouldn't know that they say where's Jilly because I don't look at any of my social media anymore. Well, you record this stuff at like 3.30 in the morning now. Well, sometimes. Sometimes it's at 3.30 in the morning. Sometimes it's at 9 o'clock in the morning or 10 o'clock in the morning. So I try to get as much of it done as possible so people have content every day. Some days I'm not able to do it. days it's some content and and and classic content like today i found a wip caller

that i thought was topical it was a wip caller about mike trout getting standing ovations at uh at the bank and uh that was like a seven minute phone call with some guy where i fucked with him the whole time and he had no idea well that was mike speaking seven minute phone call with some guy where I fucked with him the whole time and he had no idea well that was Mike speaking of that's a good point I was wondering this last night you know how Mike Trout always gets the standing ovations at Citizens Bank Park yep would he get a standing ovation in the World Series and I know this is a hypothetical because Mike Trout's probably never going to play in the World Series he's I would say he's definitely never going to play in the World Series if the Angels were through some act of God in the World Series. I would say he's definitely never going to play in the World Series. If the Angels were

through some act of God in the World Series right now, and Mike Trout walked up to the plate, would he get a standing ovation? And that's the thing. I had Facebooked about that before I decided to take a brief respite from Facebook and deactivate my account for a while. A mental health break.

I brought up the fact that the people gave the dude a standing ovation he was beating the shit out of their team and they were giving him standing ovations and their argument was well he's from philly like no friend he's not he might root for the eagles and he might be from somewhere near philly but he's not from philly like new jersey right yeah millville new jersey any from like three hours away I don't know how far Millville is. Just a few hours. Okay, so my point being in all of this is Philly people are very good at picking and

choosing which people who are from the region are considered Philly people and which people from the region are not Philly people. Well, why don't they give Chaz McCormick a round of applause then? He's from Westchester. That's like 40 minutes from Philly. He's authentic. He's closer to Philly than Mike Tr mike trout where are those standing ovations they're booing him bastards uh but yeah um game uh four coming up the astros have to win if they lose series is over

uh they win this one they're guaranteed to go back to houston and i think that's big um who's pitching tonight? Christian Javier. Well, who's pitching for Philly? Aaron Nola. Oh, it's Nola? Oh, they'll fuck him up. Nola sucks. Like, that's the thing is Nola's gotten blown up his last two times out,

and I think he'll get blown up again. I think the Astros will get to him, and hopefully they win the game. You know, that's the beauty of baseball. What's their total run over right now? That's a good question. That I don't know. I haven't looked yet. But one of the things that's beautiful about baseball is momentum's not even a real thing,

if that makes sense. Like, momentum is only as good as the person who's starting the next game for you. And even though the Astros got their asses kicked and gave up seven runs last night, and even though the Astros sucked and were never even in the game last night, they can easily roll out today and they can win seven nothing. And it's a two, two series and it's best two out of three. So I'm not overly concerned. I talked about this earlier and I want to get your thoughts on it, Jelly. I think my main concern with the Astros is that there's a lack of swagger, which is weird to say because you won 107 games and you rallied from big

deficits in the first round to win. You swept the Yankees. And like, there's a, there's a, okay, let me put it this way. Some teams are just not boisterous. They're not animated, right? Some teams are. The Phillies are extremely animated. They're excited to be there.

Their fans are excited to be there. It's new to them. Whereas the Astros, they've been kind of hammered down the last couple of years with the cheating stuff, yet they keep getting back to the World Series. It's their fourth time in six years. It's kind of old hat to a lot of the guys that are on the roster. They're used to it. So they're kind of the grownups of the situation, if you will. But there's something missing about the Astros. Like when I watch the Phillies, I feel like the Phillies are on the verge of doing something all the time. Like I feel like they're about to pop. Whereas the Astros,

like last night, there was never a point in the game where I felt the Astros are going to get a big hit. And some of that comes from just, Hey, the guy's pitching well, and they've got you. And some of it's from, I look at these guys and I sometimes just don't see that kind of that jazz, if you will, just going through the motion just don't see that kind of that jazz if you will just going through the motion yes like that's what that felt like last night to me that felt like watching a team going through the motion we've talked about it a hundred times I mean that 2017 team had grit they had a little bite to them you know yeah and that was before the cheating scandal was uncovered and everything sure and then we've said Jim Crane kind of neutered

them Bregman's never been the same no attitude wise well no he's and he's back to putting up numbers because he's healthy which is good yeah but i'm not even talking about numbers i'm talking about attitude wise i'm talking about bts oot or whatever beat the shit out of the rangers thing from 2017 like you know you don't really get that well i think the cheating thing did take some of that out of them i think that they got kind of neutered by it and they all all are. There's nobody on the team that really has big balls about them. There's guys that have fun, like Peña has fun. But it's a weird, also, there's a weird composition, or the roster is strange, in that you've got a handful of guys who are still part of that

2017 team, and they're all kind of wily veterans. You've got a couple of young dudes who have a little spunk about them. And then you've got this kind of island of misfit toys of guys who are mostly older dudes that they picked up near the deadline, whether it's a man, Sini, who's not really a lively cat or what's his name? Vasquez, who's not really a lively cat out there either. So it's weird. And look, it's obviously worked for them.

They won 107 regular season games and they swept the first two rounds of the playoffs so obviously it's it's not like oh god this is a dreadful scenario for these guys their lack of oomph is going to cost them but it's weird when you watch philly go out and again it comes from being there like i remember rooting for the cardinals and in 2000, they get back to the playoffs and it's fucking awesome. And they go to the LCS and they lose, but people are really into it. 2004, it all kind of culminated when they went to the World Series. Every game had drama. You remember the Astros-Cardinals game where Jimmy Edmonds hit the walk-off in game six. Nobody leaves the game. Tons of drama because it was new to be on the verge of going back to the World Series again. By a handful of years ago,

the Cardinals had gone to the World Series, what, three or four times in this decade, in the last 20 years, I guess. So it becomes kind of old hat. It happened to the Braves. The Braves were great with Glavid and Smoltz and Maddox and all those guys, but they just would win the division and they wouldn't win the World Series. And I think it becomes kind of, the fan base gets kind of jaded. I think the fan base gets kind of...

What's the word I'm looking for? Used to it? Spoiled a little bit? Yeah, they're spoiled. I think that's fair to say. I think the fan base gets spoiled. I told you this earlier. I hate to say it, but they keep getting to the World Series, having these 100-plus win seasons,

and then they just completely disappear. The bats are dead in the World Series. This keeps happening. And at some point, I mean, I kind of start to agree with the people that say, you know, these Astros, they play in a shitty division. Are they really for real? Are they that good? I don't know.

They're good. The division sucks, but they're good. I know they're good. Are they 106 win good? No, they play in a shitty division. But again, they also swept the Yankees and they swept the Mariners. But it just keeps happening where they get to the World Series and then they've lost to the Nationals and the Braves and now hopefully not the Phillies. But they keep getting here.

And then it's a snooze fest. I agree. But hey, you know who's not a snooze fest? Mac. You know, I hope, like you sent me a message this morning and we're like i hope these motherfuckers watch this video and get hyped up because like i almost feel like these guys like i hate to sound like clan here to be their spark though their bulletin board material this needs to be what they play in the damn clubhouse and say guys philly came for

one of our own for our like our legend our dude our hero our guy that puts people up in a store yeah our guy that has done so much for this city and you're just gonna let their fans talk to him like that no let's go shut these guys up because the only way you're gonna shut mcdougal up kind of is to beat him you can't though and that's what i was talking about today when i was giving a mcdougal breakdown in the first part of the podcast today is most people, once they get beaten, they kind of shut up or if they know that they're wrong, they'll kind of pipe down. McDougal doubles down when he's wrong. Like McDougal will fight and fight and fight. And I guess that old Mattress Mac experience that I would love nothing more than for the Astros to

go out tonight and fuck these guys three ways from Wednesday. I'm honestly kind of concerned for Mac because now that that video has gone viral of Mac kind of going back at the Philly people, they're just going to want to push his buttons even more. That's how they operate. Well, you know, he was quoted as saying

that the Astros, or the Phillies rather, have the worst fans in sports. And he tried to be nice. He did? Before that, he was giving out mattresses to the Philly area veterans and the first responders. He was taking pictures with a few normal fans before the game, even saying,

oh, the city of brotherly love, they've been nothing but great so far. Great fans on both sides. And then that happens. Yes. And I have no idea what the guy said to him. It really could have been a situation where like mac just got fucking tired of the guy being obnoxious and told him to fuck off he may have said nothing offensive we listened to the max interview and

michael berry yeah and i think that's right is how mac was saying it is that like you know he just kind of sat there in the front row the whole game and kept to himself and even though mcdougal was more than likely harassing the dude the entire time because mcdougall never shuts the fuck up but then you know as the game went on they get more relentless especially when they're up seven to nothing and they have five home runs like mcdougall's going to lose his mind yeah and the beer keeps the flowing yep and so uh mac said he went up to go to the bathroom and that's when like some guys started yelling about the cheaters and al tuve is never going to be in the hall of fame. And then Mac just got really, I appreciate that. It almost makes it better that it was over something so trivial as a car, as a Jose Altuve

dig, because I'm like this guy, and I hate to sound like Clanton here, but this motherfucker is putting on for Houston and he always does. Now he's a great businessman. He knows exactly what he's doing all the time. He does everything right when it comes to business but the thing about Mac that really like that it's got me percolating today is that Mac said basically fuck you and I think that should represent Houston in the way Houston feels today and I hope the fucking Astros come around to this again we're probably full of shit thinking that they're gonna like watch this and go hey what the fuck you know but I would like them to do so because Mattress Mac has done a lot of shit and he's lost a lot of money on these motherfuckers

and it's time for these motherfuckers to step up and do something today. I want a little swagger about them. I want to let their nuts hang a little bit. You're the fucking Houston Astros. You've won a World Series in the last five years. You've been to four World Series in the last six fucking seasons. Let your nuts hang. These are the fucking Phillies. They're the losingest fucking organization

in the history of sports. They fucking suck. They're good once every 14 years. Fuck them. Go out, put them in their fucking place tonight, and tie this goddamn series up at two. Let's fucking go. All right, if you're ready to win some real cash during the basketball playoffs,

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mac and he basically said quote when they said altuve is an effing cheater he'll never make the hall of fame that sent me over the edge good i stand up for houston when they're right and i stand up for jose altuve jose is one of the greatest astros of all time yeah he's a great ambassador for houston fuck yes he is so i'm to need Jose Altuve to go out there and hit a home run. First fucking pitch. Dinger. Tear his jersey off and reveal that he's wearing this artist rendition of Gangster Mac underneath him. The Gangster Mac picture's fucking legit, too.

That's what I want. We need it. We need this shit today. I want all of these guys to be wearing this Gangster Mac shirt under their uniforms. And that's the thing. I was kind of tame about it. Like last night I kind of conceded like early that that game was over. And, you know, because Lance sucked.

And bless his heart, like I don't dislike Lance on a personal level, but Lance is a very arrogant dude, talks a big fucking game. And Lance went out there and got his ass handed to him. And whether it was because he was tipping pitches, like that's the idea is what he was doing, that he was tipping pitches. Because if you, everybody saw it. Bryce Harper was like, hey, bomb, bomber, whatever. Look at this.

And then bomb hits the home run. Like, obviously he was giving something away or he's extremely predictable. I mean, Smoltz did it. Smoltz, the first at bat of the game for Harper goes, he's going to be sitting on a curveball and he's going to fucking hit it. And sure enough, curveball bang. It was the exact same thing that happened to the Cardinals in game two of that series. Harper was sitting curveball.

Harper hit a bomb and that they never looked back in that game. And that's what happened in game three of this series last night. But I like, give me something to root for tonight. Give me something to be excited about. Cause I sat on the couch last night and I felt nothing like from the jump. I felt they were going to fucking lose that game. I never felt like they were in it. I never felt like they were engaged in the game. Give me reason to believe that this shit's going to be two, two, give me reason to believe. And I think I speak for a lot of Astros fans out there, right? Fuck with the Philly people

saying the fucking people that flood my Facebook with their bullshit and Twitter with the bullshit. I feel like I speak for the Houston fan base because I feel like a large part of my heart is in fucking Houston. And let me tell you something. I felt nothing last night. I felt like that team never had a chance in the game. I couldn't see it. And I saw nothing in the look on their faces. I saw nothing that led me to believe that they had a fucking chance to win that game. I want to turn this shit on tonight and feel like I'm watching the fucking Houston goddamn Astros. The, the iteration of that team that's been to four fucking world series, the team that's got some nuts about iteration of that team that's been to four fucking World Series. The team that's got some nuts about them.

The team that's going to go out there and win that fucking game. That's what I want to see. That's what I'm fucking here for. I don't need this bullshit kind of like half-assed, kind of like zombie fucking Houston Astros going through the fucking motions. What I need is for the big boppers to show the fuck up. I'm paging Jordan fucking Alvarez here. Give me a Jordan Alvarez bomb. Give me something like that.

Give me something to be excited about. Well, last night we were sitting there like, all right, we got to finish off these pumpkin beers. We rarely drink during the week, but I'm like World Series, Astros, let's fucking go, right? Yep. And we sit down,

we got our beer ready for the first pitch. And by the second inning, I'm like, I don't even want to drink. No, I only drank because we're trying to kill these beers. It was so depressing of a game that I couldn't even get a buzz from you. Maybe I'm just an alcoholic and I couldn't get a buzz. I was trying to get into it, like drink some beers, like, you know, yay. But it was so sad.

It's bullshit. And look, man, I was texting Meltzer about this and he said he thought I was wrong. But I felt they've kind of had a lack of swagger about them for a long time now. And again, part of it's because you're used to being there. So you're kind of the veteran of it. You're the pro, you know, it's not new to you. You're like, if this were homeward bound, you're, uh, you know, your shadow and their chance, you know, like they've been around a little bit like this, their first go around, you've been around a while. So you, you kind of know all the tricks of the trade, you know, not to get overly excited here. I want this team to go out and just fucking crush today. That's what I want. I want the Phillies to have no fucking chance. I want it to be a 7-8-0 game like this. I want

Alvarez to get going, because honest to God, Alvarez has been the biggest disappointment since those two games against the Mariners. You know, I was talking with Bootsy about that a couple weeks ago on his show, and like, bless their hearts, there's some dumb fucking Astros fans. And I was on the show, and they're all talking about Alvarez is having the greatest postseason ever. I'm like, dudes, it's been two fucking games. Let's chill. Yeah, he's disappeared since. He hasn't done shit since then. And, you know, there have been guys who've had great postseason. Like, Bryce Harper is having to consider, I mean, like, it's not even close, is having a better postseason. There are like four guys, five guys in the Phillies lineup that

have had a better postseason than Jordan Alvarez has had. You could argue Real Muto. You could argue Harper's, no doubt. Baum, you could argue. Like all these guys who've had big hits and come up with big moments and have played much better than Alvarez has. Alvarez has been a no-show. So two weeks ago, I get it, two, two and a half weeks ago, it was, wow, this guy could have the best postseason ever. And I said, pump the brakes. And they all said, fuck you, Josh, you hate Houston. Well, I was right. You got to pump the fucking brakes. I mean, the only guy who's having a consistently good postseason really for the Astros is Pena. That's the one guy that when he comes up, you're like, I think this guy's going to get something done in a big spot. Well, give him

some big fucking spots. Give him an opportunity to do something, man, because I'm just fucking... I was very calm last night. I almost conceded. I conceded that they lost that game, and I'm like, you know what? I think this shit may be over. But even when we said it, when they were down 4-0,

we were both like, well, I mean, it's only four runs. But deep down, I think both of us were like, we're just saying that to try to keep ourselves interested. I'm saying that so I don't stop drinking and fall asleep at seven. I never felt that like anything can happen. Kind of game five, 2017. Like I didn't feel that spark, that magic. I didn't feel anything.

Nope. It was done. So, and, and I'd like to feel that tonight. Like I'd like these guys to fucking come out. Like Major League, too. Remember the whole goddamn movie? Rick Vaughn was kind of a sellout, kind of a dope and a sellout, and he wasn't the wild thing anymore. Then Randy Quaid's yelling at him in the playoff game,

and he says, blow it out your ass, lard mouth, and Randy Quaid's like, oh, my God, he's back, and they hit wild thing, and he fucking comes out there to wild thing with the vest and the hair and shit. That's what I'm looking for here. I to believe in the fucking houston astros but right now i do not and i need to feel that way and i was and i told you i was kind of out of it last night and i'm like i think this series is over but i said that after game one to myself i said that no they blew a five nothing lead it's not good what did they do the next night they dominated so maybe they come out and dominate tonight but i was was kind of calm and just like, you know what?

I'll sit back and watch it. But I don't feel good about it. Then the Mac video happened. Yeah, now I'm all fired up. And I'm fired the fuck up. Because Mattress Mac's got me ready to fucking go. Well, yesterday, too, I also said, all right, we'll drink on a Tuesday. But I'm not doing shots, right?

Yep. Fuck that. Home run shots, bitches. Yeah, it's happening for Mac because you don't fuck with Mattress Mac. You don't fuck with that dude. Fuck him, man. Fuck McDougal

and fuck all those asshole fans. And by the way- Who would be Philly's version of Mattress Mac? Like the Foreman Mills guy? I was thinking about that. I don't think one exists. The Foreman Mills guy, the Barbera on the boulevard bar?

But there is no Foreman Mills guy. The guy that yells Foreman Mills? I just think that's a voice guy i don't think that's an accent i don't think that's mr foreman from barbara on the boulevard like i was truly what chickies and pete's pete because like i honest to god don't know who like the mattress mac equivalent would be there i can't think of it i was trying to think of that like who would be their guy go start some shit gets back to houston we need like a ruthless we need to fucking be there we need to skit like like like the san diego chicken beating the shit out of barney we watched that barney documentary yeah give me orbit tearing the head

off of the philly fanatic i want some fucking drama i want orbit to tear the head off of that that philly fanatic and shit down his fucking neck i want it to get deep i want it to be dark that's what i want to fucking do. I need it. I want Mattress Mac to go out there on the field and beat the shit out of a Philly fanatic pinata. Oh, yes. That's what I want. I want a pinata. That fits Houston very well. I would like a giant

pinata out there and I want Mattress Mac out there. Save you money! Money! And he just beats the shit out of it and a whole bunch of money falls out of this fanatic pinata and all these little children scurry around to pick up the fucking money. That's what I want. That's the life I want to live. I want to see that shit go down.

Hopefully it gets back to Houston, though. Yeah, that shit better get back to fucking Houston. We might drive our asses to Houston. Fuck it. I'm putting on, goddammit. Adam Clanton style, motherfucker. I'm putting on for my goddamn city. This is Recharge My Batteries, and I'm ready to fucking go.

I will run through a wall tonight, baby. I am ready to go and these motherfuckers better show the fuck up. Show up and show out as my man BP used to say all the time. Show up and show the fuck out. Because I'm not going to like, you guys know this. I hate these fucking people. I talked about it on the podcast earlier. There's some great people in Philly. There's a shitload of McDougals. Like last night,

Andy texted me at like 11 o'clock after the game. And he's like, you know, that, uh, you know, you and I should be there. Like the, you know, whatever. I'm like, you know what, Andy, I'm fucking glad I'm not like, I, like, I get that you have a lot more passion for Philly than I do. And you consider it your home. I fucking don don't I'm from the fucking H motherfucker H town till I fucking drown bury me in the motherfucking H motherfucker that's what I'm here for we were also on PK and DK's podcast which I think will be up in the morning if you want to hear some more anti-McDougal rants yeah well I go in to get my delicious tea treat and I get back to the car and Jilly's on the phone and all I hear is yeah yeah, Philly, you know, they kind of suck.

I'm like, fuck those motherfuckers. I assumed you were on with PK. Which would have been funny if I wasn't. Oh, you're on like the Michael Berry show and you hear me in the background. Fuck those motherfuckers. Fuck you, you son of a bitch. So give the PK and DK show a listen when they post it tomorrow. God, I tell you, I'm just amped up.

I'm all jacked up. I'm ready to fucking go. We're recording this at what time? Is it 4.30, I tell you, I'm just amped up. I'm all jacked up. I'm ready to fucking go. I'm ready to start drinking, honestly. We're recording this at what time? Is it 4.30? I'm ready to go. My nerves are going. I want this team to beat the shit out.

Now, my fear is I'm going to come out there and they're going to have a lifeless first inning and I'm going to be like, ah, fuck. But this is kind of like the amped upness I wanted to feel this whole time. Like, there was like, first of all, there was a week since like off between the World Series. That killed any sort of mojo and any kind of vibe. Then there was the rain first of all, there was a week since like off between the world series that killed any

sort of mojo and any kind of vibe. Then there was the rain delay. And then I couldn't get back, you know, but now I'm ready. Like I'm ready to go start drinking right the hell. Now we've got some delicious sort of, uh,

chicken in the crock pot. Like bang, let's go chicken in the fucking crock pot. It's going to be like, let's go. I'm ready to go to a shot right now. I tell you, man, I am geeked and amped, ready to fuck

shit up, man. I'm ready to go. I'm going to put on my jersey. I just wear my hat all day. Let's do this. I'm telling you, fuck these guys. I don't want them to have joy. There was like a part of me last night that was almost like, you know, not good for them. And then I'm like, no, fuck them. They're the scumbags I thought they fucking were. They're the scumbags i thought they

fucking were they're scum and i knew they were scum and mac knows what's up they're the worst fucking fans out there and he gets it self-serving bunch of douchebag fans that like to get jerked off for being passionate and my god can this fucking broadcast talk any more about the fucking fans like are you just afraid of them like they're so it's like they're scared shitless of these philly people so they have to blow them for being passionate fans. They're just mouth-breathing fucking assholes is all they are. This is actually a very good point, too, that I just opened up Facebook

and happened to see one of my friends post a status. He's an Orioles fan, for what it's worth. He says, I'm curious if my Phillies fan friends are still pissed about the universal DH rule. Had it not changed, Bryce Harper's season would have ended in May. Oh, boy. Good point. Strong. Because I believe they were pissed about that. Yeah.

They're pissed about everything. They're fucking assholes. Oh, boy. I am just ready. They forgot about that rule change real quick. Oh, I tell you, man. I'm ready. I'm ready for this. I'm going to text Mac. I'm just going to see what the fuck's up. Be like, hey, man, I fucking love you. Like, I hate Philadelphia. I hate Philadelphia for this. I'm going to text Mac. I'm just going to see what the fuck's up. Be like, hey, man, I fucking love you.

Like, I hate Philadelphia. I hate Philadelphia as well. Let's see. I hate Philadelphia as well. You're the man there. Fuck them. Good. Fuck them all.

All right, anyway. So, I guess I'll get this loaded up so everybody can listen to it before the game. Yeah, because it's not going to be as good if they listen to it after. Correct, because when we lose 9-0, it's not going to have the same juice. All right, anyway, we'll see you.