The Josh Innes Show - Unwoke Jamokes: Status Of The Harper Tattoo

Episode Date: October 25, 2022

Hi All! Jilly is still hellbent on me getting this idiotic Bryce Harper tattoo if the Phillies win it all. I have agreed to do it IF someone can provide audio evidence of the bet. If you can find it, send it. McDougall using "Houston, you have a problem" is the most predictable thing ever. Do you think McDougall just learned about the Astros cheating scandal? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

So I was able to predict this one, Jelly. The Houston, we have a problem, or Houston, you have a problem responses from McDougal. Oh, of course. See, and obviously any city would do that, so if it were Washington. But McDougal. That's not just McDougal. I get that, but I think McDougal thinks that he's more clever. Like, he's the first person that thought of it.

Like, McDougal's like, yo, what was that movie with the guy from Bachelor Party where he had the gay cancer? What was that? It took place here in Philadelphia. What was that one? What was that movie? Where he said the thing about the Houston and the problem. What was that? I don't know.

What was it? Forrest Gump? Yeah, that shit. That he had the gay cancer and his asshole. That one. Well, that was, he said, Houston, you have a problem. Why don't we put that on a t-shirt and put the p as a philly's p that's very important a retro philly's p at that like the 80s

philly's p which by the way I am a big fan of that color scheme I really like that kind of like maroonish red mixed with the baby blue I think it looks good I don't like the other philly's uniforms I hate pinstripes with a fucking passion. And I just really hate the red and the blue. And I really hate their shitty, like solid red jerseys. They look at batting practice jerseys. But like McDougal, I think also McDougal just now learned that Houston is not Dallas. Totally.

And I also think that McDougal just now learned that the Astros were busted for cheating in 2017 because I started looking up stories for stuff to talk about, and it's fascinating to see the number of stories out of Philadelphia that are giving people a full-on breakdown of the Astros cheating and how they should approach criticizing the Astros for cheating. And I can tell by the shit people are saying that they just now learned about it. That's a very McDougal move there. We just now figured out that these guys were cheaters even though it was five fucking years ago um but you know the other thing is like when you start looking at

just the overall scope of this series one thing i keep getting from mcdougall the messages i keep getting from mcdougall are are kind of this is the basic the basic gist which is well the whole world's going to be rooting for Philly we're America's team because everybody wants to take down the Astros I don't think anybody's really rooting for you if you want to say it's an anti people rooting against the Astros yes yes people actually give a shit about the Astros. Yes. Yes. People actually give a shit about the Astros because of the Astros being really fucking good for seven years now and going to four World Series and winning one of them like and because of the cheating thing. So, of course, there's a lot of people who hate the Astros, but don't misconstrue that

and turn it into, well, they're rooting for us. No, they're rooting against Houston. You just happen to be the team they're rooting for us no they're rooting against Houston you just happen to be the team they're playing you're just the dopes that got lucky that Milwaukee couldn't figure out how to win a couple fucking games so you got in and now you're hot and y'all that's the other thing well we're breaking down McDougal here the other thing about McDougal that I find to be just loathsome is a month ago, I'm talking the McDougalist of McDougals, like Joe and Philly types, would be sending me messages saying, oh, Philly's fucking suck. They blew it again.

Going to blow the playoffs. Fuck it. I hope they lose. And then now it's, we're a team of destiny. Holy shit. Team of destiny. No one can stop us now. Philly's baby. Phillyilly's fever i'm dancing on

my own a month ago literally oh like to a man philadelphia was like i'll be glad when this fucking season's over oh we lost to the fucking cubs oh we lost to the braves fuck us we're terrible oh milwaukee's gonna catch us we don't even deserve to be there. Fuck Philly, Rob. Fuck them all. And now it's team of destiny. Now it's we're going to face a team that's won 20 more games than us, and we're just going to steamroll them because you're hot, because you beat the fucking Padres, who also barely got in.

Well, they beat the Braves. Well, good for them. Also, I mean, I wish I had the audio. I've tweeted about this, too. You said if the Phillies win the World Series, you would get a tattoo of Bryce Harper ringing the Liberty Bell with a hoagie. There is no audio proof of that. And if there is no audio proof, then it doesn't count.

It most definitely happened, and people know it. That's when you were convinced, like, they're not even making the playoffs, they're not going to go anywhere. Yeah, I'll get a tattoo if they win the World Series because it ain't happening, but here we are. Well, you know what? I don't know why you would want me to take my body, which you see naked on a nightly basis. I mostly just want

to see someone design this Bryce Harper hitting the Liberty Bell with a hoagie tattoo, and then I think you should get it if they win. I don't think they will win, because obviously we are rooting for the Astros here. But, if they do, then you would in fact be a fraud if you

don't get it. I don't think that would make me a fraud. That was not an official bet. Nobody shook on that. We documented it somewhere. See, that's the thing. Somewhere. You documented it somewhere, but I don't know where that somewhere is. Probably one of these notebooks. I the thing somewhere. You documented it somewhere, but I don't know where that somewhere is. Probably one of these notebooks. I can find it.

You would. And then all of a sudden I'm going to end up with a fucking back tat of this fucking pandering. No one said it had to be a backpack, a tat. You can get on your ass cheek or something. Um, yes, I'm going to walk around with a tattoo, a fucking Bryce Harper hitting the Liberty bell with a hoagie. Yep.

On my ass. I bet you'd go viral. Well, finally, we made it. Our pod finally made it because I got a tattoo of Bryce Harper. Well, I would tweet about it, but I don't have Twitter anymore, which is a good thing. Yes. All of a sudden, Crossing Broad's writing stories.

Philly flame out Josh Ennis gets tattoo of Bryce Harper on his ass. Yep, that's it. You caught me. Oh, and those fat McDougals in Philly get a fucking fanatic tattoo in their belly button. That's big news. I think I took a picture with Brian Dawkins the other day. I think it was Brian Westbrook. Oh, was it?

My bad. Yeah, Brian Westbrook. Yeah, my Philly Bryans. Yeah, it's your Philly Bryan legends, but one is Weapon X. One is the Philly legend. All right, if you're ready to win some real cash during the basketball playoffs, you got to check out Pick 6 from DraftKings. When it comes to basketball payouts, DraftKings Pick 6 posterizes the competition, including prize picks.

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Like, that's like, you know, God can be a very cruel bastard sometimes. And like, hey, for $90, we could fly to Philadelphia for the middle week games. Well, yeah, I mean, that also is middle of the week. Well, that's what I'm saying. I get that. But even like on the weekend, I guarantee it's not $600 a pop to fly there. But to fly to Houston, it is absurdly expensive to fly out of Nashville. Nashville is the worst place to fly out of for airline prices.

I don't know this for a fact. It is just by Josh and his show data and research. I believe that Nashville is the most expensive place to fly out of. You can't get anywhere, apparently, except on what? Spirit Airlines or whatever we flew to. To Gru's Place. And you can go to Bozeman or you can go to Allentown or you can go to McAllen.

These are our options. If we want to fly cheap, we fly to Allentown, Pennsylvania or Bozeman, Montana. They have like Tampa in there as well, but they're like, you know,

limited flights. We're going to Arkansas in a few weeks. They do fly to Fayetteville, but only on Thursdays and then back Sunday. So, so we can't pull that off. Nope. Cause it's at seven30 in the morning on Thursday. So that would require you.

We'd have a long-ass weekend in Fayetteville, Arkansas. I mean, I'd do it if it was like Thursday night, but then that would require us all to take off work again and get the extra day for Luther. See, if anybody. Because that hour and a half flight sounds so much better than an eight-hour drive. Yeah, I told that to Program Director Jonathan today. I said, you know, we're flying.

We're driving to Arkansas, so I need this day off. He goes, are you driving to Fayetteville? I said, yeah. He goes, that's going to be a pain in the ass, friend. Yeah, it really, I thought it was like seven hours. So did I. Which is a big difference from eight. But apparently it's not.

It's eight hours. I'm not going if it's an 11 a.m. game. If LSU plays Arkansas at 11, we will not go. I will eat the money. I hope it is not at 11 o'clock. Now back to the tattoo. I will do this. If somebody can supply audio evidence that this happened,

because I honestly deleted a lot of pods when I moved over to this new thing. So I don't even know how far back. That might have been a drunk show, too, and we delete those right away. Yeah, but it could have been just, it might have just been during the normal show. So if anybody has proof, now obviously it wouldn't be on Twitch because Twitch videos delete 14 days after they drop. So that doesn't exist. If anybody listening can go back and dig through all the old pods, and if you remember what it was, maybe you can go back and look at your Twitter and you maybe tweeted us during the time you listened to it.

I will do that. I do not know where that was. Therefore, I do not know that it exists. So if it doesn't exist, there's no bit but if somebody can send me a link to that on facebook because i don't have twitter yeah or on the gram because i don't have the twitter and check your facebook messages yeah i look at facebook messages pretty frequently i don't i do uh because they pop up and i look at them and stuff that's how i talk with joe and philly that's where bet we're facebook instagram messages i do every time i see you log on, you get little notifications up there.

Yeah, there's some of them that I, like some of them are just ads, like 1059therock mentioned you in a thing, and I just don't click. I just forget to click on it. I look at my messages on Instagram. But if somebody can supply that, if somebody can prove it, if somebody can show the evidence and present it to me, and you hear me go, I will actually get that tattoo of the Phillies when the world's first.

Well, given the time it wasn't, it had to have been when they were sucking, right? It started, well, it started with just a tattoo and then somebody in the chat said, what about Bryce Harper hitting the Liberty Bell with a hoagie? So would you accept the part where you said, I will get a tattoo?

Because I think that might be on the pod and that is the drunkenness continued. I think it evolved into Bryce Harper hitting the Liberty Bell. get a tattoo because i think that might be on the pod and that is the drunkenness continued i think it evolved into bryce harper hitting the liberty i will i will accept the audio of me saying i will get a tattoo if the phillies win the world series all right that's fair but it has to it has to show up like someone has to provide us with that that audio and if they do then i will do it if nobody can supply it and i'm not holding out on you i've deleted most of our old podcasts and shit so i don't know and i couldn't tell you

when the fuck that was that had to been two three months ago right doing the math i mean we took a month and a half off from doing the pod so it had to be before that like august 10th yeah before then it might have been like around i mean it, it could have been like July. So, and just look for a time the Phillies were sucking, I guess. And then go dig through the old pods. Just go back and listen to all of them. And if somebody finds audio evidence that I came out and said, hey, I will do this, then I will hold to that. Now, it's not going to matter because the Phillies are not going to win this series.

Like McDougal's just, a month ago, McDougal said this is the worst team ever and fuck them. Now they're going to take down the Astros who've been to the World Series four times in the last, what, six years. Somehow now we're taking these guys down because you got hot for five fucking minutes in the postseason after winning 87 during the regular year. You know, another thing that somebody said that I found stupid was we've got a real MVP that doesn't disappear in the playoffs. First of all, your real MVP played for a team that went to the playoffs a lot and they won when he fucking left. So that's number one. But number two, like I come back with, you know, Jose Altuve has 23 career home runs. Oh, don't try to even compare Altuve

to Bryce Harper. Well, I'd like to see big postseason home run for big postseason home run and tell me who's on top in that category because last time I checked Bryce Harper this is the first time he's played a playoff game in like seven years yeah so kiss my balls I'll take Altuve and I think Altuve is going to bust out of this shit he's in a funk right now he got a couple of knocks in game four. He can start getting a couple. He can get hot. He'll get one and two in there and start getting going. Man, I like it.

Bregman's beating the shit out of the ball right now. And you never know when the big fella's going to launch one. And Pena. Here's the thing. McDougal has no clue what anybody outside of Philadelphia is doing. They don't know who Jordan Alvarez is. And they probably don't know who Alex Bregman is. I'm fairly certain, as you said earlier, they just found out that Houston is not

Dallas. Correct. So we're playing the Rangers or what? No, we're not playing the Rangers. Wait, are we playing the Cowboys? Wait, we're playing the Cowboys in a World Series? No. No, friend, it's the Astros. McDougal also likes to live way in the past.

So I love that someone messaged me and goes, well, maybe the Astros are going to be looking for revenge for what we did to them in 1980. That must be it. No, they're not. Not one fucking person who's paid attention to the Astros is like, I remember what those fucking Phillies did to us 40 years ago. No one gives a fuck about what happened in 1980 it's a different universe back then different world that's a very mcdougall response to those things very mcdougall of you friends uh but man i really just want this series

to start i'm ready to go i know part of me i hate that it's like so far yeah also i love that it starts on a friday so that we can actually like drink and watch the games yeah now next week during the week like it's going to be another no sleep week because we're probably going to be drinking wine or something it's going to turn into like let's just have like a glass of wine during the game and then that'll turn into oh we drink three bottles and then a little good into wait it's 2 30 in the morning and i have to get up at 3 45 but uh that's that's the hope the hope is because i mean you can't not drink during the world series right i mean correct i'm not gonna sit there and watch a five-hour baseball game completely sober nope you're not and i won't eat especially when it's that intense like yeah boy i hope like i

hope game one al tuve comes out there they mow them down one two three also mcdougall wanted me to know that oh he's got aaron nola last time i checked fucking nola got his ass handed to him by the padres last time out so let's not act like aaron nola is some god of postseason pitching uh i mean you're going it's i don't know i don't know that mcdougall knows that verlander pitches for the astros now Now, Verlander's had his struggles, too, but Verlander's a fucking Hall of Famer, and I feel good about Verlander, and I know for a fact. You see, Justin Verlander's always pitching the American League, though.

I don't think McDougal would have any reason to know who Justin Verlander is. Correct, and they certainly, I know, I feel 100% confident saying that McDougal has no fucking clue who Fromber is. He does not know the other people in the Astros rotation. As far as McDougal knows, these are just some fucking oil cans out there that are nothing. They have no idea that these guys are fucking dominant pitchers and they've been dominant all year.

And McDougal has no fucking clue that the Astros bullpen is fucking nails. So I look forward to McDougall getting his comeuppance and learning the hard way uh that uh again mcdougall knows nothing about other teams mcdougall knows mcdougall's team that's it so oh boy can't wait yeah i'm ready friday let's go let's do that 703 is it yep i think all the games are 703 so let's do that shit go go astros