The Josh Innes Show - Update On The Bear Who Ate That Dude

Episode Date: October 28, 2025

Last month we talked about a bear that mauled a dude in the Ozarks. Previously, we discussed how the bear was euthanized. Well, it appears they got the wrong bear! We still have a murderous bear on the loose. As you know, I'm rooting for the bear. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Yep, it's the most powerful iPhone ever, plus more peace of mind with your bill over five years. This is big. Get the new iPhone 17 Pro at TELUS.com slash iPhone 17 Pro on select plans. Conditions and exclusions apply. I don't know if we talked about it on the podcast or if it was just a radio show thing, but I know that you know how I feel about this topic. But there was a story a couple of months ago that I did about a person who was mauled by a bear. So this was a guy in Arkansas.

He was actually a guy from Missouri but was in Arkansas and was mauled by a bear at a campsite a couple of months ago. Right? Like they couldn't find the guy. His son put out a wellness check for him. And they found him like mauled by a bear and he was killed by the bear. Well, there's an update on that story. There is a story update about the guy who was killed by the bear. Can you say murder?

I guess you couldn't say murdered by a bear because murder indicates that someone had like a motive. And like they had a predetermination that they were going to kill someone. That's a murder. But I mean, I mean, the bear made the decision. Can bears be murderers? This is a fine question that I would like to dig deep into it another time. Let me play a couple of commercials and we'll get into this. Can bears be murderers?

that is a question that is up for debate today. Like, does bear have reason, right? Can a bear decide whether or not he's going to kill somebody or not? And if a bear can decide whether or not he's going to kill somebody, can a bear be a murderer? I think, look, the guy killed him. The bear killed the guy. The bear killed the dude. So whether or not the dude's a, the bear is a murder or not, I don't know.

But I think he kind of can. There's reason. I feel like a bear can decide, you know what, I'm not going to kill this guy today. Because dogs can have reason. dogs like certain other dogs and like other certain people, do you think bears can't? I think that bears are murderer. But that said, I think it's a justifiable homicide because the dude, the human, was in the bear's house.

And if you have an intruder come into your house and you plug the son of a bitch, guess what? You were justifying doing so because that son of a bitch was in your house. Just do whatever the hell you want. But that said, here's the update on this story. So the bear, after he killed this person, he mulled this person to death, this 60-year-old man who was out camping alone. And by the way, one of the best parts of the story, if you want to say one of the best parts of the story, is that at one point he sent a text message to his son with a picture showing him that there was a bear nearby. And he's like, wow, look a bear.

And his first thought wasn't, hey, I'm going to get the fuck out of here because there's a bear. His thought was, hey, I'm just going to set up shop for the night and take a nappy poo while there's a bear roaming the woods. Now, obviously, you know there's bears in the woods, so you know this. But when you sit there and you're like, you know what? I just saw a bear, but that's fine. I'm going to keep rolling with this. That's a problem. So you probably had it coming.

Also, you're in the bear's house. If the bear eats you, I'm on the bear's side. That's how bears operate. Now, here's the update. After the bear killed this guy, they found the bear and they killed the bear. They're like, hey, we got that son of a bitch. The guy that killed him, we got him. Well, after they dug a little bit deeper into the DNA samples collected from the victim at the fatal mauling at Sam's Throne Campground in the Ozark National Forest, what they have learned is that those DNA samples of the bear do not match the DNA profile of the male black bear that was killed nearby.

The finding confirms that the euthanized bear was not responsible for the deadly attack on camp. Upper Max Thomas of Springfield, Missouri. That's right. These sons of bitches killed the wrong bear. I'm now sad. Like, it's kind of humorous in a way. But, like, first of all, why are we killing bears just because they eat people? Like, these people go to the woods.

They know what's at risk. Like, we shouldn't kill sharks. If sharks, you know, if a shark eats somebody, we're all taking a risk when we go into the ocean, right? No one said it was ordained by God that we should be allowed to go on the ocean. or that we should swim in the ocean, there's a lot of people that are like, fuck that. I will never set foot in the ocean because there's weird creatures in there and I don't want to fuck with them.

And those people might be the smartest ones. But if you get attacked by a shark because you're in the ocean, should we kill the shark? They might say, well, the shark's violent. No, you just were dinner and you happened to be there. If you weren't in the ocean, then the shark wouldn't have eaten you. And I feel the same way about the bear. That bear wouldn't have eaten Max Thomas of Springfield, Missouri if Max Thomas of Springfield, Missouri didn't have his dumb ass in the woods knowing that there was a bear nearby.

So then what happens is they have to euthanize the bear, as if the bear is a problem. He's doing bear shit. Like that's the problem I have is that bear is just doing what he is instinctually, like, what his instincts tell him to do. What the bear necessities tell him to do? What is that? That the bare necessities of life say, hey, when there's a dip shit out in the forest, he might be a threat to you. I got to take his ass out. or hey that guy's got food that seems delicious I'd like to eat it

but instead what do we do we kill the poor bear for just doing bear shit that's the issue it's not like a dog that's like wild like you're supposed to have domesticated dogs and dogs attack other dogs and like you have a pit bull or a great dane or a great dane attacks a chihuahua and eats them alive you're like yeah we might have to put this guy down and you might say you know what that's what dogs do not all of them a many many dogs are just domesticated sweet docile pets. But here's what I figure I know about bears. And I don't know a ton about bears, but I think I might know enough about bears to know that no matter how docile a bear might be, at the end of the day,

that bear might just eat somebody if that somebody is out in the forest. Now, if it's one of those mountain towns where a bear makes his way down into the forest or into like the village, right? Like, he leaves the forest and he goes to the village and he's walking through the ski resort town. and like there's somebody at a TGI Friday's having a brew and they look out the window and there's a bear crossing the road, then perhaps you should take that bear out because that bear is out of his jurisdiction. That bear has made a decision like, you know what, I'm out of the woods. I'm going to try to, it's like Freddie coming out of dreams, right?

Like Freddie belongs in dream world. He doesn't belong in real world. That's why like in Nightmare on Elm Street, too, Freddie leaves the dream world. It doesn't make any sense, right? You don't want to do that. Bear doesn't belong out of the forest. So if a bear leaves the forest and goes down to the ski town where somebody's at a Benegans having a fucking sampler or something and they see him and they're like, hey, cops, there's a bear or like, you know, animal people, there's a bear. And they have to trank him or something or shoot his ass.

Then you kind of have to because he is endangering people. But that bear when you're in his house, he might feel like you're endangering him. And when you do that, you deserve to be eaten. You should be eaten. So now what you see is the bear that's responsible. Responsible for the attack remains at large. The Arkansas Game and Fish Commission says its crews are continuing efforts to locate and safely remove the animal from the area. Biologists have maintained traps and game cameras in place since shortly after the incident, though no new bears have been captured.

You know why? Because that bear knows that he's on the fucking run. He's like Dr. Richard Kimball of fucking bears. Except he actually did kill this guy. It wasn't the one-armed man that killed him. It was literally this bear. He is the Dr. Richard Kimball. Go get him.

That bear's like, bro, I didn't kill that guy. I don't care. I didn't kill Max Thomas. But you did. And I'm on your side. Like, I would harbor that fugitive, if not for the fact that he'd eat me too. Like, if I were out in the woods and I saw that bear and, like, I know that that's the bear that's the bear that's on the run for killing that guy, I'd be on his side. And I would try to express that message to him.

I would be like, listen, bud, I don't want to hurt you. I like you. I'm on your side. I'm glad you ate that dumb son of a bitch. that decided to camp out in the woods, knowing that you were there? What were you supposed to do? What was your other option? You had no other option but to eat that guy.

So I'd be on his side and then that harbor him. Like those dudes on the LSU football team, that dude at LSU that let those two dudes with the guns that killed some people, like let them stay in the dorm. That's what I would do with this guy. I'd be like, listen here, Bear. Let's make a deal. I will hide you away from these fish and game people just don't eat me

and let's be buddies and maybe the bear would be complete maybe he'd comply he'd be like I'm down with that I need to be hidden away I'm hiding from cameras I'm on the run he's probably already shaved his beard

and dyed his hair all of a sudden he's a fucking polar bear they're like why is there a white bear running around why is that a polar bear that's running around no it's Dr. Richard Kimball of Bears bro that dude went out there and died his fucking shit to try to throw you off

the scent. Although in this case it probably really put you on the scent because you'd really think it's odd that a white bear would be running around. But if it's a dumb fishing game worn, like this is some like calamity, you know, calamitous type of thing, like a Keystone cops or something, then maybe they'd be like, no, we're looking for a brown bear. That's a black, white bear.

That's one of those Coke can bears. For now, Sam's thorn campground and surrounding areas of the Ozark National Forest remain close to the public as a precaution. Yeah, they should always be close to the fucking public as a a precaution because you could and you should not camp out in the woods where there's bears. While we are disappointed that the initial search to not neutralize the threat, our commitment to public safety remains paramounts, says Doug Schoenrock. We acted decisively based on the best

evidence available. What was your best evidence available? Hey, somebody got mulled by a bear and there was a fucking bear, so we shot him. Is that kind of how that worked? Like, what evidence did you have? Well, there was a bear and there was a dead body. So we just said, you know what? Let's at least take somebody out here. Let's get this bear out of here. So we can hang some skins on the wall. Let's see.

And now that we have definitive forensic data, we are adjusting our strategy. Our teams will continue. But again, you have forensic data. You're going to, like, provide, like, you can't just get DNA from a bear, I would imagine. Like, that's your forensic data is that you know that the DNA doesn't match the bear. So you still have to get DNA from the other bear, don't you? Again, I don't know how bear DNA works. But I feel pretty confident you still have to, like, know that this bear's DNA.

Like, what are you going to go do a fucking cheek swab? Like, hey, bear, chill the fuck out for a second and let us do a cheek swab to see if you're the guy that ate this dude. What a world. What a life it must be for the Arkansas Game and Fish Commission people. What a life. Anyway, more to come.