The Josh Innes Show - Weird Tiny Tim Christmas Song

Episode Date: November 4, 2025

I was reading a list of the worst Christmas songs of all time and I came across a Tiny Tim song from 1980. The song is called "Santa Claus Has Got The AIDS This Year". Let's break this thing down..because it's bizarre. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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19 plus Ontario only. Please play responsibly. Concerned by your gambling or that if someone close, you call 1866-3-3-1-2-60 or visit comixonterio.ca. All right, everybody, what's going on? It's Josh. I've been getting your messages. I'm sorry. I've been hoarse and I continue to be. I've been sick, but I'm going to hammer some of these pods out for you today because I have to because I need to because I must.

I must. The show must go on. So I appreciate you guys, though. Make sure you tell your friends about it. Make sure you download the pod. Make sure you listen. Make sure you do all that. It's greatly appreciated.

Thank you. Now, where do we begin today? I did upload a pot earlier. That was one I actually recorded yesterday, and then just didn't end up uploading it. I was going to, and then I started doing something else, and I forgot to upload it, and then I left, and then I'm like, well, I can't upload it, so whatever. But let's do a couple episodes today. Here's where I'm going to start, and this is a weird one, and I acknowledge that this is a strange place to start.

But today I was looking at a list of the worst Christmas songs of all time, because our station, one of our stations here at IHeart is going to flip to Christmas on Thursday, and it's a big to-do. And I was looking down this list of songs, like the normal ones, the Christmas shoes, and simply having a wonderful Christmas time, and all these different songs. And a song I had never heard of showed up on this list. And it's a song by Tiny Tim, the tiptoe through the tulips guy with the ukulele, you know. Well, he wrote a song and performed a song in 1980. And the song is called Santa Claus has got the AIDS this year. And I'd never heard of this song.

But it was on this list. Incredibly, it was only number eight on the list. That means there were seven other songs considered worse than Santa Claus has got the AIDS this year. So here's what we're going to do. I'm going to play this for you. Santa Claus has got the AIDS this year by Tiny Tim. 1980. So I don't even know that like AIDS.

Clearly wasn't as well known in 1980 as it would become just a few years later, but it's a name that people knew in some way and knew it wasn't good for you. But here we go. Let me play a few commercials, and we will play Santa Claus has got the AIDS this year by Tiny Tim. You know what's better than the one big thing? Two big things. Exactly. The new iPhone 17 Pro on TELUS is five-year rate plan price lock.

Yep, it's the most powerful iPhone ever, plus more piece of mind with your bill over five years. This is big. Get the new iPhone 17 Pro at tellus.com slash iPhone 17 Pro on select plans. Conditions and exclusions apply. All right, here we go. One of the worst Christmas songs of all time, allegedly, is this one.

And here it is. It's Santa Claus has got the AIDS this year. Oh, this is. Santa Claus saying I won't be around this year. I'm a bit sick. Santa Claus has got the AIDS this year. And he won't be around to spread his Christmas cheer. The reindeer all look blue.

They know what he's going through. Santa Claus has got the AIDS this year. You know, so far, I don't think it's a lot of all that bad. It's kind of charming. Other than the fact is, like, it's kind of endearing in a way that people, like, again, this is probably two, three, four years before you really started to know what AIDS was about, knowing that it was killing people and seeing celebrities die. And then eventually, who was the first big one, like Rock Hudson, you know, and then eventually Freddie Mercury and other people? You had no idea. So, like, as far as they know, it's just something that's,

you know, it's not killing people. It's just out there. It's a name you see in the paper. It's bad. You know, it's not good, but it's probably not going to kill you. You have no real idea of what the AIDS is. In a way, it's kind of an interesting time capsule to demonstrate, like, how things change and how more information changes the way you look at things. It's kind of like that same moment when, when, what's his name, the center from the jazz. How am I drawing a blank on is it? Gobert.

And he's not with the jazz anymore, but Rudy Gobert. So in Rudy Gobert during the COVID, they canceled the games and then Gobert. started touching all the microphones. And then, like, once we learned what we learned eventually about COVID and how they were shutting everything down and people were dying, it looked a lot worse. This sounds a lot worse knowing what we know AIDS eventually became. But in the moment, I guarantee you're reading the paper in 1980 and you're hearing like just very brief little snippets or reading brief snippets about the AIDS and, hey,

you might be, I want to be on the lookout for this. But other than that, like, I imagine that's all you knew. So you just hear kind of a wacky thing. kind of a trendy term and you don't know what it is. So it's kind of an interesting time capsule. He won't be yelling out, Oh, ho, ho, ho. But he'll be screaming out, no, no, no.

He's lying sick in bed. Call the doctor there instead. Santa Claus has got the AIDS of this year. Like, people are thinking that AIDS in 1980, It's just like a cold. It's like, hey, I got the AIDS. Well, put some Vicks vapor rub on your chest and drink some day quill, and let's go. Each season, he is full of pep and vim.

But now the aides have got the best of him. The nurses all look sad, cause Santa's got it bad. Santa's got it bad. Santa Claus has got the AIDS. of this year. I'm genuinely curious, like, what, like, what people believed AIDS were in the 1980. So, let's see, let's see, AIDS in 1980. Let's see.

I don't know. I don't know if it was AIDS in 1980 or what. Let me see here. Like, what did people think AIDS was at first? Okay, this would be like 1980. This is the first AIDS alert. The disease was first given the name of GRID, Gay-related immune deficiency or the gay plague or gay syndrome.

Let's see. Let's read this story. So in 1981, the U.S. Center for Disease Control publishes an article in its morbidity and mortality weekly, blah, blah, blah. The article describes cases of rare lung infection in five young previously healthy gay men in Los Angeles. Angeles. So again, in the early 80s, you don't know what this really is until you start really getting into like 1985, 1984, people are dying, whatever. So look, I'm trying to defend Tiny Tim here because it's easy to look back on this now and go, oh boy, what a horrible message. As far as he knows, it's like how we were making fun of the code. Dude, before the COVID's

really hit, I was on the radio on, I was doing a fill-in spot on, um, uh, a fill-in spot on, uh, on CBS Sports Radio, and I was looking for a doctor to have on to talk about this because games were getting canceled and I felt I needed to have a doctor on. My agent hooks me up with her kid's pediatrician, who was a terrible guest, by the way. It was a horrible decision. And the guy's like, well, basically, it's kind of like a common cold. It's not going to be much more than that. Now, to be fair, most people who got this didn't die and it was overblown. You don't have to yell at me through your pod hearing, oh, my God, Josh, what do you do?

No, I'm with you. However, at the time, we didn't know that it was going to be this giant pandemic that was going to shut everything down for months and we were going to be held hostage. So I'm on the radio and I'm like, hey, everybody, I've got a pediatrician on to break down this fucking disease. So again, you don't know until you actually know. So my man, Tiny Tim here, had no idea that the AIDS was going to be this giant plague that was going to kill so many people. He didn't know that. Oh, this is a Santa Claus saying I won't be here this year

I'm sick in bed with the AIDS Oh, but I'll be back next year Next year Hold on, let me rewind I think my favorite line of this whole song Is him doing the Santa Claus I'm going, ho, ho, ho, it's Santa Claus I won't be out because I'm sick in bed

With the AIDS this year Oh, this Santa Claus saying I won't be here this year. I'm sick in bed with the AIDS. Again, with the benefit of hindsight and the benefit of knowing what we know now, boy, that sounds really ridiculous. Oh, but I'll be back next year, next year.

Don't try for me. A doctor will cure me. Ah! Not in 1980. I don't think Chief. 1980, 85? No, I don't think so. There'll be no jingle, bells upon his sleigh. From everyone, he's got to stay away.

Twelve months to wait and then, he'll soon be round again, but Santa Claus has got the AIDS this year. Oh, I'll miss you all, but I'll see you next year. Santa Claus has got the AIDS this year And he won't be around to spread his Christmas cheer Again, it's important to note that in this era, It's kind of like when people judge people for doing things that were normal 100 years ago with the same morality they use today, Knowing what we know,

It's like when you see Al Jolson wearing blackface, You know that it's not right, and you're not like, oh, that's great. But you watch Al Jolson in Blackface in the 1920s and you're like, well, it wasn't right. But that was the societal norm then, right? Like, that's kind of how things were. It was accepted in society for people to wear Blackface. So you don't judge it the same way you would if, like, a politician came out in Blackface today.

Or like Jimmy Kimmel wore Blackface today. Like, you judge things differently. And you judge this song differently. Blue Year, they know what he's going through, but Santa Claus has got the AIDS of this year. There'll be no jingle bells upon his sleigh. Solid jingle bells. It's like someone just recorded these into a walkie-talkie. From everyone, he's got to stay away. 12 months to wait and then he'll soon be round again.

Probably not. Santa Claus has got the AIDS this year. I said Santa Claus has got the age this year. I said Santa Claus has got the age this year. In a way it's kind of charming. Other than the lyrics, of course, the lyrics, you're like, huh. But, like, the song itself is actually kind of charming. I think I have, let's see, what do I have here?

I think I have a full breakdown. So this is Tiny Tim after, like many years later, breaking down this song. However, before I sing this song, I want to sing the other song I wrote in 1980. Before AIDS was known, it was a minor word, a small word in print. The only thing known about AIDS was the... candy bar, spelled A-Y-D as little candies that helped you reduce. How about that, huh? Wait a second.

It helped you reduce. Was AIDS, was it like a poop candy bar? When you say reduce, AIDS candy bar, what was this used for? AIDS reducing planned candy was an app, oh, I see, was an appetite suppressant candy introduced in 1940. Okay. Boy, what a bad break. This is this song.

diet candy. I repeat, was written way before the calamity of AIDS, way before Rock Hudson's problems, may rest in peace, a liberace's, early 1980 or 81. It was not made to make fun of anyone. Santa Claus has got the AIDS this year. So there, it was not meant to make fun of anybody. He didn't know what AIDS were. As far as he knew, AIDS was just an appetite suppressant diet candy.

That's it. It was like the OG Ozmpic. Except it probably didn't cost a billion dollars like Ozempic cost. It's just, you know, like probably a nickel or something like that for appetite suppressant candy. Not the AIDS that killed a bunch of people. That's not what he meant by that. I had never heard this. And I wanted to share that with you. I had never heard this song in my life. I never knew it existed until I read that list.

And now you guys who probably had no clue it existed. Now you do know it exists. You're welcome.