The Josh Innes Show - What Do We Watch Now? The UFL?

Episode Date: February 12, 2025

I think I started this podcast with the idea of discussing something about the Dallas Cowboys. Instead, I veer down a path of discussing the UFL. The UFL is a throwaway spring football league that only matters in one city...St. Louis. l'm going to offer you a breakdown about why St. Louis cares. I honestly have no clue how I got into this discussion Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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we are your local dignity memorial provider find us at dignity memorial.ca the dignity memorial brand name is used to identify a network of licensed funeral cremation and cemetery providers owned and operated by affiliates of service corporation international well here we are super bowl three days ago we are done with football unless you're into the ufl which really if you're not in st louis you don't care about the ufl it is a fascinating phenomenon because the ufl is this throwaway league that like you want to give some form of love to because hey at least it's football being played but every time they try one of these these spring leagues like this everybody gets kind of into it for five seconds like in houston right

before the Rona was it the Rona that knocked out the Roughnecks like the Roughnecks were doing well and then the Rona happened and then that league were they in the USFL I think no they were in the XFL so I think they were in the XFL and then there was a new USFL and I guess they merged and the Rock was involved in some way and now it is the UFL, but, um, St. Louis has a team. I think does Houston still have a team? San Antonio, I think has a team, right? So if you look at the UFL teams, it's St. Louis, San Antonio, they are the Brahmas, the Arlington Renegades, the D.C. Defenders, and the Seattle Dragons, and the Memphis Showboats. The UFL is the Arlington Renegades, the Birmingham Stallions, the D.C. Defenders,

the Houston Roughnecks, who do have a great logo, by the way, the Memphis Showboats, who also have a great logo. They have a really good color scheme, too. Their uniforms are actually kind of nice. The Michigan Panthers, the San Antonio Brahmins, and the St. Louis Battle Hawks. And the only place that generates any attendance whatsoever is St. Louis. And you might say, well, Josh, that's an indicator that St. Louis is a passionate football town. Now I will say this, St. Louis does not deserve to lose two NFL football teams. One happened to be owned by the Bidwells. The Bidwells couldn't get a new stadium or whatever the hell it was they wanted. That was kind of the best part about the Bidwell thing. believe from 19 what year did they get here 1961 were they here from 1961 to 1987 i think is how long they were here uh their last season was 87 the first season in arizona was 88 but what was great was they wanted a new stadium i guess was kind of like the big deal like they need a new

stadium and they'll stay so instead they, they leave and go to Arizona, where they spend damn near 20 years playing in a shitty college football stadium. I don't know why that amuses me so much. We've got to get a new stadium. Mind you, Bush Stadium at the time was like 20 years old. It was built in 66. So when they left, it was about 21 years old. The stadium stayed around for another 30 years for baseball and a little bit of football and some other stuff, concerts, all that, because it shut down in 2005.

So it was 50 years. But what was so amazing about that is they won a new stadium and they're like, we're getting the fuck out of here, St. Louis. Fuck you. We're going off to greener pastures. gestures. And then from 1988 until whenever they built a, what was university of Phoenix stadium at one point now, whatever the hell they call it. Uh, they played in a dinky shitty fucking college football stadium in Tempe, Arizona. I, that amused me. I don't know why it amuses me so much, but it does, but the fans weren't the reason they left. Like fans aren't going to go watch a

shitty product. You know, what's wild about the 80s though? Is there were a lot of NFL owners that were trying to relocate. And they were trying to relocate like big time franchises too. You know like the Eagles when Norman Brayman was the owner. Dude had massive gambling problems. Like that's the thing you don't realize about shit. Like we are not that far removed from an era where just like degenerate gamblers owned football teams right like there was a conspiracy theory that the games were rigged because all the owners were just like big-time gamblers and had gambling debts and shit like there's conspiracy theories about that but it

wasn't that long ago that NFL teams weren't worth all that much now you know the Cowboys are worth five billion you know they were whatever they're worth billions of dollars Every franchise in the NFL is worth billions of dollars, right? Well, it wasn't always the case, and it's wild to think about that. But in our lifetimes, there was a time that just degenerate gamblers and wacky-ass, drug-addled, alcoholic businessmen owned these football teams. They weren't worth a lot of money, and they were trying to move them. That's why Baltimore ended up leaving and going to Indianapolis. The Eagles were damn close to going to Arizona. At one point, the Cardinals came from Chicago, ended up in St. Louis and then left

and went to Arizona. Like that's it's wild. And look that the Rams, the Rams were owned by Georgia frontier at the time. She brings them to St. Louis. It was a lot of movement for these franchises. We still get a little bit, but back then it was like the wild fucking West, man. And it was just wild to think that these franchises weren't worth a ton and degenerate gamblers were just trying to get out of debt. And they're like, well, let's just fucking sell the team or move it to Arizona. That was always the threat. Are we going to move it to Nashville?

It's crazy. But the fans weren't the reason the team left. I mean, if you give a team, for the most part, the Cardinals were a shitty product the entire time they were in St. Louis. The Rams outside of 99 when they won the Super Bowl, basically 99 to about 04-ish, the Rams were fun and they were good and they went to two Super Bowls and won one of them. What people don't realize is from about 2005 to the time they left, the Rams were dog shit. Like at best seven and nine, at worst like one and 15, constant change at head coach, general manager, and eventually people aren't going to go to games anymore. They play in one of the worst stadiums you're ever going to see this really shitty dome, uh, limited space for tailgates. It's downtown St. Louis. The stadium sucks. And while I don't believe the stadium is the most important factor, it is a

shitty stadium and it's in a bad area in terms of tailgating and shit. So it's no good. And the team sucks. So people still, by the way, went to games, just, they didn't sell them all out, but people still went. Like, I think the reputation is, and I'll defend St. Louis on this. I think there's an idea that St. Louis just sucks at supporting football. And that's not true. You know, they've supported baseball for a hundred years and now they're finally starting to turn on it because it's awful and downtown sucks and the team sucks. They go to the hockey games, they support teams here. This is a big time sports city when it comes to supporting sports franchises. The problem is when the franchise starts losing, like you're going to see anywhere, people lose interest in the franchise.

And that's what happened here. And then they stole the team from them. And that's what it is. You could argue it's kind of karma because they stole it from L.A. Whatever. What does that have to do with anything? Hold on. Let me play a couple commercials here and we'll continue.

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Limited time offer. See terms at picksix.draftkings.com slash promos. What that has to do with everything is we're talking about the UFL. I did not intend. I don't even know where my mind was when I started this podcast. I didn't intend on talking about the UFL, but then I brought up the UFL, and now here we are. But what does it matter? For those of you who don't know, the St. Louis Battle Hawks play at what is now just called the Dome at America Center. It doesn't have a sponsorship deal on it. But back in the day when TWA was a thing before all those plane crashes and shit, TWA Dome and then the Edward Jones Dome and then it's just the Dome. It's just the Dome at America Center is what it's called.

So they play there and they'll put in 30, 40, 50,000 people for these St. Louis Battle Hawks games. And it's wild because you're like, why would anybody waste their time watching shitty football? And the team hasn't won the championship of this league. They didn't even make it to the championship. They moved the championship game to St. Louis because they're thinking if the fucking Battle Hawks get in, we'll have like a sellout and it'll look amazing. Then the Battle Hawks didn't get in and nobody went to the fucking game. So there is one

city that has any remote interest in the UFL and it's St. Louis. But why? Why is that? Well, the people in St. Louis, many of them will deny this, but it is the truth. Let's start it with this. There's an episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm about Larry opening a Spite store. So in one of the later seasons of Curb, Mocha Joe has his coffee shop. It's Mocha Joe's. Larry David and Leon go in and have coffee. And basically everything is bad about this place. The coffee's cold. The scones are shitty. The table wobbles and all that shit. so Larry has a falling out with this

Mocha Joe and then he's like banned from his from Mocha Joe's so he opens a spite store he because he has the money to do it he opens a coffee shop right next to him and Mocha Joe's like you don't have the beans Larry but then Larry goes down to like Mexico or Brazil or wherever and gets beans it's a whole deal and that's a whole story arc for the season. The Spite Store is what it is. The reason people are going to games to see the Battle Hawks is not because they give a fuck if the Battle Hawks win and they are not passionate about the Battle Hawks. They do not give a fuck. They are going to the games because they view it as some sort of like spite victory over Stan Kroenke, the owner of the Rams and the NFL. Like in their kind of warp twisted mind, filling up the stadium or putting in 40,000 people for a throwaway minor league waste of time football league.

We'll have the NFL look at them and like somehow Stan Kroenke will go, man, I guess I missed out on those guys. Boy, the one that got away. In reality, Stan Kroenke's team plays in this massive stadium that's worth billions of dollars and his franchise is worth billions of dollars. And he doesn't give two shits about what's happening in St. Louis. But in the minds of the St. Louisans, they go to these games. They cheer loud. They go crazy. Oh, boy, we're battle Hawks people. Caw is the law. That is their big saying here. Caw, as the battle Hawks cry and caw is the law.

And in their minds, if they go to these games, it's like proof that they deserve a team. Then of course, all these are right proof that st louis deserves another nfl team look at the battle hawks but they're going to those games out of spite it is a spite team and by the way i do think the nfl should be here because it's a major american city and um and i do think people would support football because people support the nfl basically every city it's. I don't think there are too many cities that are in danger of losing the NFL right now because the NFL gets tons of support everywhere you find the NFL. And if they built a brand new stadium on the riverfront here and built up downtown, I think it would be huge for downtown. They missed the boat. Now, I don't think they could have really done anything to keep them here. here and then after suing the league and the the city won this big settlement that's another thing many of you may not know is the city won like a seven or eight hundred million dollar settlement with the nfl and now they're getting this money from the ram settlement and this dipshit city

has no idea what to do with it because it's a shithole run by dipshits so like they don't know what to do with the money and they're going to do something stupid with it if i had to guess but um that's kind of where they are. So they view the battle Hawks as kind of their like way to say, fuck you NFL. Look at us. We're doing great without you. In reality, we're not, we're in a city that doesn't have the NFL and we're the only people interested in this league. Like there's nothing worse than being the only person who's interested in something, right? Because it makes it less interesting. Like if you're in a fantasy football league, right? And you're in it with a bunch of dudes that don't give a shit, barely even set their lineups. Like you win, but you're like, no, I want someone to

care. I want it to matter. It's like winning them. It's, it's truly is. It's the definition of winning in a meaningless sport. You know, like, like you're winning in, um, I don't know, you, you're a lacrosse champion. Well, most of the fucking country doesn't care about college lacrosse. So you're the winner of something, but you're a winner of something that doesn't really get all that much attention. That's kind of what we are here. It's like, hey, we're in St. Louis. We're a big city and we fill up the stadium for these UFL games. And who knows if they'll even continue to do that?

I think maybe the wave kind of crashes at this point, right? Where it's kind of like, neat, we're the NFL, like we're the UFL team we're the best team we're trying to send a message but by the third year of this shit it's kind of like all right I think we sent the message I don't feel like going downtown to watch shitty football I don't want to watch the battle hawks and the brahmas battle it out at the battle dome i think is what they call it like yeah yeah like houston doesn't give two fucks about that's why it's wild that houston even has a team for that like you would think it'd be in cities like san antonio that don't have football where this would kind of fill and like quench their thirst for football houston doesn't give a singular shit about that

san i don't know that san anton Antonio does. You would think like Memphis is a city where it would make sense because you'd go, okay, Memphis. No one's going to the games there either. These bastards play these games at the Liberty Bowl and there's fewer people there for that than that are there for the actual Liberty Bowl, which never has attendance. So that's what you get. I don't even know why. Honest to God, guys, I'm going to shoot you straight. A lot of times when I hit record, sometimes I have an idea of where I'm going to go. Sometimes I don't. I at least have an outline in my mind like, all right, last podcast, we're going to talk about the Kelseys.

And then wherever my mind takes me when I start talking about them, that's where it's going to go. That's kind of how I operate when I do this. I'm going to shoot you straight. I have no idea how I got into this discussion about the history of football in St. Louis and the Rams and the Ram settlement and the battle Hawks and the spite store. I have no clue how I got here. I'm in my mind. I'm trying to retrace my steps. I'm trying to figure out what I was going to talk about. Like I'll go back. I'll look at the laptop and I'll go, hey, is there anything that was on here that would lead me to this?

Like, honestly, the last story I have pulled up was Dak Prescott says Cowboys very close to winning Super Bowl. What I'm talking about right now, in no way is anything close to Dallas Cowboys and Dak think they're close to winning Super Bowl. How the fuck did I get here? Wow.

I'm not going to apologize, but I have no clue how I got from A to B to Z somehow. Wild times, friends. But I hope you enjoyed that little history lesson. And anytime people talk to you about the UFL, you could say, well, I think probably the impetus for this was like, what the fuck are we going to do? Football's over. We're three days away from football. I'm reading baseball stories. Newsflash. If you don't root for the Dodgers, there's no hope for you, right? Baseball sucks. Basketball's going to the all-star break. You know what kind of sucks? Basketball. Like we're just in a weird era where a lot of

sports just aren't very interesting. And now football is over. And what do we do with ourselves? That was probably the angle, but then it turned into a whole discussion about St. Louis football for you. So look,

I love you. I do the best I can.