The Josh Innes Show - Where Do I Want To Live?

Episode Date: January 7, 2025

It's Day 4 of Winter Storm Blair in St. Louis. The good news is the roads are clearing up. The bad news is that many places are closed. Yesterday, I had to dig the car out of a mountain of snow and clear the driveway. I really, really hate snow. Ross is off to his first day of training. I don't think he likes going to daycare. Also, he has a weird sleeping habit that Jilly and I have investigated. I was asked by a listener to handicap the cities I'd like to live and work. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

All righty, friends, what's going on? It's Josh. It is technically, I guess, day four of winter storm Blair, although some things are kind of getting back to normal around here. But in other parts of town here in St. Louis and the area, the roads are still terrible, whatever. But it's technically still day four of winter storm Blair. We did get the car out yesterday.

That was a blessing, let me tell you. And look, if you live anywhere where there's snow, you know this life. If you're a man, I'm going to guess the women listening probably don't know this life as much, but maybe you do. I'm not trying to be sexist, but maybe you do. Maybe you don't. All I know is that shoveling snow is one of those things where the whole equality thing kind of goes out the window. Like, like oh women can do anything a man can do yeah when it when it's about something glamorous like oh getting a job in some high-tech world or or making money or whatever but the second it's some shit like shoveling snow all of a sudden I'm dainty I can't do it so I don't know but all I know is my ass was out there looking like

fucking Rocky IV yesterday out there shoveling snow the only thing missing from this was me being chased by the KGB while I'm trying to jog like it was just a I mean like it was a miserable day I had to shovel the whole driveway to get the car out our other car is parked on the street we're all like the snow blowers and all the people have knocked all the snow into it. So it is basically in a shell. The other car ain't coming out until spring. Because I don't think the snow is ever going to melt because it's going to snow again on Friday. That's where we are right now.

It's going to snow again on Friday. So where we stand now is it's cold. We can get to places now. Not everything's open, by the way. There's some places that are still closed. Some businesses are like, nope, we ain't open, chief. But all I know is that it's miserable and I hate snow and I never want to see snow again. And that's the thing. You always get these messages from people who don't live in snow and they see your pictures of snow and they're all excited about the idea that you have snow. They're like, oh my God, it's snow. I wish we could see snow. Yes, everyone wishes they could see snow until they have to live in the snow. If you didn't have to live in snow, of course snow is great. You travel somewhere where there's snow,

you vacation somewhere where there's snow, You vacation somewhere where there's snow. You ski somewhere where there's snow. You go on a vacation and sled somewhere where there's snow. That's all well and good. If you have to live in it for days and days and days and then shovel it, because you ever notice the people that love snow and they get jealous of your snow pictures, the people that are like oh my god look at that snow i wish i was there right now as they're sitting somewhere where the temperatures are

mild and there's no precipitation or at 60 degrees somewhere 50 degrees somewhere or 70 degrees somewhere they're living the dream life is good they all want to see snow, but I guarantee you they sure as hell aren't all that interested in shoveling this shit. That I can tell you. They have no interest in that whatsoever. So anytime someone, if you're in snow and there's like 15 inches of snow, like we had about eight or nine inches going to snow again on Friday, and your friends reach out to you like I wish I was there you say you know what I wish you were here too to get your ass out here and shovel and I'll sit inside and I'll send you little text messages about how pretty the snow is while your ass is out here with a plastic fucking

shovel trying to dig the car out so you can get the hell out of the house before driving yourself crazy but everybody loves snow until you live in it. I'm the same way. Like I'll see things on TV and I'm like, boy, that looks like it's fun. Look at those kids. You know who I hate? Children. The kids that don't have to go to school, don't have to shovel.

Parents are out there digging the car out of the damn driveway trying to take them places. The kids walk right down the street with their Ace Hardware sleds and they go to the park and they got their snow pants on it's snow day snow day this is the best day ever snow day kids have already been out of school for like three weeks for christmas anyway i don't even know when the hell the kids go to school anymore like like what's weird like when i was a kid when i was a boy coming up like you went back to school basically in late August, early September. Now that what's weird is the kids go back to school like in July. It's very weird now when kids go back to school, but then they're also off for all these random holidays and stuff. Like when I was a kid, I grew up in Louisiana for the most part. We'd go back to school mid to late August,

right? Like August 20th, whatever it would be now it's like July, but we would go like August 20th, somewhere around there. You go back to school. You got off for like a week for Thanksgiving, two weeks for Christmas. And we got a couple of days off from Mardi Gras. And that was kind of what you did. But now I feel like kids are always on vacation. They're always off. Like in Nashville, there's a thing called winter break. Like I would lose my co-host for a week in Nashville because he was taking his family on winter break or fall break wasn't even winter break it was fall break so not only did the kids have Thanksgiving and not only did the kids have Christmas they got a week off for fall break which I think happened usually in October maybe so you go back to school you're in school for a couple months and it's like all right you know what we got to take a week off The kids have been pressed too hard learning the

arithmetic and whatnot. We're going to take another week off so the parents can waste another week of money to go to Disney. And that's what my dude would do. He'd go to Disney World with his family and my ass would just be stuck at the radio station by myself. Hell, the only reason to have kids is to have a week off for fall break and for tax purposes. Why I have a dog. Why can't my dog have a tax purpose? I'm taking him to daycare right now. Don't even think he wants to be there.

Like, he does not look interested in going to daycare. But I took him there because I'm getting him training, right? I want to get Ross a little leash training so he's a little less rambunctious and a little less wild on the leash. Now, maybe he would just gradually learn that over time but like he's like he is tough to walk like i'm a big strong brooding man so i can handle it but like when jilly tries to do it like she like pulls him and or he pulls her and it's a whole deal so i'm like we know these people over there let's go get him a little training maybe just kind of like you know help him you know learn a little bit i don't think that motherfucker has any interest in being there like i drop him off he's like dad don't leave me don't leave me and they

bring him back and they're like well yeah I think what he's dealing with here is he's um he's like he thinks you're going to leave him he clearly has some abandonment issues I'm batting a thousand when it comes to finding dogs who have abandonment issues. Like I am like a magnet and they are steel, baby. Like when I find dogs that are like, please don't leave me, dad. If you leave me, I'll find you. Like that's what dogs are like. Some people find these independent dogs that are like, I don't give two fucks that you exist.

Not I, said the cat. I find dogs who are codependent like hold on let me um let me play a couple commercials for you and i'll tell you about how how ross sleeps it's fascinating uh let me play a couple commercials here for you and we will continue all right if you're ready to win some real cash during the basketball playoffs, you got to check out Pick 6 from DraftKings. When it comes to basketball payouts, DraftKings Pick 6 posterizes the competition, including prize picks. It's a very simple concept. Hit all your picks and score higher minimum payouts on Pick 6, plus even more cash if you outscore the competition. six is available in most states including

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See terms at pick6.draftkings.com slash promos. All right, so when Ross first got here, he slept at the end of the bed on this little ottoman that we used to have for Luther. That lasted one day. Then he started working his way up to the bed and he slept between me and Jilly and just took up the whole damn bed.

Like he'd stretch his legs out. My ass would be hanging off the mattress. Jilly had plenty of room, but my ass would be hanging off the mattress. Like, that's the life I was living at this point. Like, it was uncomfortable, and I'm like, what am I going to do with this damn dog? He is like, he has no regard, no regard for anybody's personal space at all. Does not care. But then like a week or so ago ago maybe a week and a half ago

Ross started this move where like Jilly has her pillows and Ross will sleep on top of her pillows essentially forcing her like halfway down towards the foot of the bed and we were wondering why this is like why would our dog what is it about? Is there something that dogs do or there's something in their mental makeup where they want to sleep at the head of the bed? Like, is he trying to show dominance? Is he showing like, hey, bitch, this is my bed now. Like, what is he doing? So we looked it up. And apparently when dogs do that, like there are stories about it.

Like, let me type this into the phone right now so i can give you the full-on breakdown why do dogs sleep above your head let's see dogs may sleep above your head for several reasons warmth and comfort your head and pillow provide warmth which dogs find comforting. Well, no shed. Look, if one thing I know about Ross, he ain't uncomfortable because he takes over the whole damn bed. Closeness and security. Sleeping close to you makes them feel safe and protected. Scent preference. Elevated position. Some dogs prefer to sleep in an elevated position such as on your head

or pillow which may provide them with a sense of control or observation some say it's due to separation anxiety but one of them says and this is the one that we choose to go with is that by sleeping on top of the pillow which is above jilly's head which forces her down towards the end of the bed i'll post a a picture of it. It's fascinating. Is that he views Jilly as part of his pack. And since he views Jilly as part of his pack, it's okay. It's like, hey, I love you.

We're in this together. We're part of the same pack. I'm just glad the bastard doesn't view me as part of that pack in that way. Because my ass, my feet already hang off the bed. I'm 6'3". My feet already hang off of this giant bed. Imagine if I had to sleep halfway down the damn thing with my knees and everything hanging off the bed.

So I actually feel kind of okay with it. I feel decent about the fact that I am not considered so close or as part of the pack with Ross that he decides to sleep basically on my head. Like the other day I woke up, I woke up because he had kicked me in the eye. This is before he started laying on Jilly's side. He laid in the middle of us and I'm laying there facing him, I guess. And I'm asleep, you know, whatever. And, and I feel this like shot right to the eye. This old bastard had kicked me in the eye while I was sleeping. But that's Ross. You know, he's a he's a great little boy. That's why I hope that he gets used to going to daycare and he realizes like, yo, homie, I'm coming back like I'm not going to

leave you here. But it's also understandable because I don't know this dog story. I don't know if he got abandoned by someone. I don't know if like he was just born on the streets and lived on the streets, although I find that highly unlikely that a dog lived on the streets for two or three years. And that's what they estimate he is. He's two or three years old that they estimate this. I don't know. So, um, I don't know his backstory. I don't know if someone had him raised him and then just decided one day to leave him out in the woods and say, see you later. I don't know, but he clearly has some form of separation anxiety to the point that when I drop him off at daycare they're like you don't want to come back here so they pick him up they take him say he does fine once he's in there doesn't really

play with other dogs but he hangs out and whatever and we're trying to get him a little training you know to help him on the leash as we discussed and all that and the hope is that you know everything is a-okay with that but just I just want to make the walk a little bit more enjoyable for all of us. The hard part is when you've got a dog that cares a whole lot about what other dogs are doing, which to an extent is just what dogs do. Like, I don't think you're ever going to stop that. But we had Luther, and Luther would literally pay no attention to other dogs to the point that he would prance by them.

We've told you this story before. He had this, like, Clydesdale trot. Like, when he would walk by other dogs, nose in the air, he would trot. The only thing missing was, here comes the king, here comes the big number one. Like he would walk and strut and really prance. It was a prance. He would prance like a Clydesdale. This dog stops for every dog, especially when they're on the other side of the street. If he sees them coming up, he'll sniff them and say, hello, nice to meet you. I'm Ross.

Salutations. And then they'll go about their day. If he sees a dog on the other side of the road with a person, a dog or a person, but particularly a dog, he will lose his mind and he is impossible to get walking. So now I just paid $700 to get him some leash training and some other stuff. Hopefully this works out. Hopefully he's a, you know, he just kind of handles things a little bit better, which, Hey, I'm all for, cause he's a good boy. Look, I love the dog. He's sweet. I think I might have a slight allergy to

him, but it is what it is. You know, I just got to vacuum a little bit more, vacuum a little bit more, wash things up a little bit more. He's got a little dander. Like he has, he had fleas really bad. When they found him, he had fleas really bad. So he had to take some medication. His hair is still growing back on his belly. So I think I have a slight. Again, I don't know this for a fact.

I'm not a doctor and I haven't been to a doctor. But I think I might have a slight, a tinge, just a little tinge of an allergy to Ross, but not enough where it knocks my ass out or anything like that. Not enough to bring him back. I would never do that to the dog because he really is sweet. I just, you know, want him to be able to calm down a little bit and hang out. Like when I take him to the bar, when I'd be able to go to the bar without worrying that he's going to, you know, break someone's glass or something like that. But he's a hell of sweet dog. He is just a great boy.

And he's grown to like the snow. And he's like, he hops and bops out in the snow. I think he's tired of being in the house. We're all tired of being in the house. We've been trapped in here. Also, help me understand how, like, this isn't like snow is happening in Miami or something where it makes sense that they're ill-prepared for these things. How are we still at a point where you're in this metropolitan area, a top 25 city in the country, that gets at least some snow every year? Maybe not as much as they got this time, but gets at least some snow every year.

How are you in a position where here we are over 24 hours since the last snow fell and we're still dealing with trying to get roads cleared up i don't understand that like i get i'm not someone that works in you know the the department of transportation or anything like that i'm not one of these you know people that goes out and drives a damn plow so i don't know maybe someone can help me understand that but how difficult is it to clear some fucking roads and get people back to work? It shouldn't be that difficult because it snowed Sunday into Monday. The snow stopped like before the sun came up on Monday, I believe. So you had all day Monday. You mean to tell me that we're sitting here, it's Tuesday, 1030 in the morning, and we're still dealing with

road closures and shit. This wasn't a blizzard. This wasn't, you know, 30 inches of snow. Like, when I was in Philadelphia one year, there was, I want to say we got 20 inches or something like that. To the point that when I opened up the front door the next morning, like, the snow was damn near up to my knee. Like, it was like halfway up my leg. It was a shitload of snow. And it was a bitch to shovel. It is the worst.

But like, even then I don't feel like Philadelphia was closed down that long. Like I understand that you're not getting like tons of snow storms every year in Missouri, but it's the Midwest and it snows. So how the hell are we not prepared for this? But all that to tell you this, I want to go somewhere warmer. I got a tweet last night from a guy. His name is Cole. And Cole used to, I guess, be a producer on this little dinky AM radio station in St. Louis that was a sports station. Now, back in the day, it was the only sports station here in town.

And it was actually kind of a pretty big deal. 590 the fan. But then it actually kind of a pretty big deal. 590 the fan, but then it went through a bunch of random shit. And at one point it was like 590 the man, 590 whatever. And I think at this point it might've been brokered programming. I can't believe they were actually paying people to work at this station. And I say that with all due respect, like the fact that this little dinky AM radio station was still paying people to work, that they had no listeners. I'm shocked that it still happened.

But, you know, because there's an FM talk sports talk station here that gobbles up all the sports talk listenership. And if that doesn't, then you're also going to get the sports talk listenership from you're also going to get it from, you know, the KMOX is in stations like that. Nobody was listening to 590 The Fan here in St. Louis. And then last year, they just blew the whole thing up and, like, fired everybody. And they're probably playing, like, religious programming or something like that now, if I had to guess. But this kid was a producer. I say kid. I don't know how the hell old he is.

But this dude, Cole, was a producer. I say kid, I don't know how the hell old he is. But this dude, Cole, was a producer. And then I guess he's from Ohio from what I gather. And then you talk about going from the penthouse or the outhouse to the penthouse. So this kid is producing for 590 The Fan, this throwaway radio station in St. Louis that no one gives a fuck about. Like it is a pimple on a bull's and it's a tick. It's an amoeba on a tick on a bull's ass. Like no one gives a fuck about this radio station. And he's producing this station goes belly up. And then the kid ends up or the dude, I get, I don't know how old he is. I assume he's a younger dude. But he ends up getting a job in Columbus, Ohio at a sports radio station. I believe he's from Ohio.

So it's kind of like a going home type of thing for him and good for him. So he's got a job doing that and good for him. But he asked me to handicap the potential landing spots or like the places I'd like to move once my severance is up. I can't find the text or tweet at the moment, but yeah, that was kind of the basic gist of it is where would you like to move when all of your severance time is up? And first of all, I can move anywhere right now. They'd still have to pay me as long as I didn't get a job in St. Louis, they'd still have to pay me. But I only have like two months of that left anyway. Somewhere warm, like ultimately,

like my number one destination in life, if it was just this is the city to live and work in, would be Houston because Houston's like my home. So I put that up there. That's kind of like, you know, minus 1000 or something like that. Put that somewhere in the neighborhood of minus 1000. Cool. All right. After that, like, like, I don't really care to go to any of these cities up in the Northeast. Like, what would you like to work in New York? No, not really. Do you want to work in Philadelphia? No, not really. Every time I think there's a chance that I'd be like, oh, I'd like to go back to Philadelphia, I then comment on a Philadelphia story and see all of the inane dipshit responses I get. And I'm like, I don't want to fuck with these people.

They live in their own little stupid world, their world of dipshittery. And I just don't feel like being a part of their world of dipshittery. I just don't feel like being a part of their world of dip shittery not to say that Houston and other places don't have their world of dip shittery I mean the internet is exposed how stupid everybody in every goddamn town is but like Philly's a different level and now the argument would be well we wouldn't have you back anyway hey you probably wouldn't there's nowhere there for me uh we've talked about how 97.5 was gonna hire me but they were afraid to because of Missanelli and that's that you know like I don't really have any desire to go back there the only desire that I would have to go back there is just to go and win and show that I did it

but then like part of me would go Josh you're gonna go back there and let's say you go back there and win you know what's gonna happen all the stories are gonna be is that like you're lying or you're you're not telling the truth or they'll find some other piece of data that shows in some random demo that you're not winning and they'll undercut you. Like, why do you want to live that life again? Who gives a fuck about living that life? Like, you're seeing what they're doing to Eskin right now, how they've railroaded Eskin. Do you really want to go back there? Like, no matter what you do, you cannot win because they don't care about reality.

At least in the court of public opinion and perception, you cannot win in they don't care about reality at least in the court of public opinion and perception you cannot win in a city like that you can know the truth and you can collect the checks like I was collecting bonus checks at WIP while they were writing that I was a piece of shit and losing so like it can happen it's not impossible but I don't like I just don't want to deal with that shit again there's too much much drama. It's the most drama-filled town on the fucking planet. And while some drama is good, I don't feel like they're always at war with each other in terms of like the media people. They're nice to your face, but they hate you behind the back. I don't like Philadelphia.

The only thing that would be awesome is to go back there and kick fucking ass. And that part of it's appealing. But let's be real. They ain't going to call my ass. WIP ain't calling my ass and the fanatic no matter how far they fall they're never gonna call me because they don't give a fuck at this point so fuck them uh they are not so if Houston is like minus a thousand right it's like we're handicapping the spots I'd like to go as per requested by this gentleman, Cole, Houston would be like minus 1000. Then after that, honestly, if there were something for me there, I'd strongly consider just going back home. And by home, I mean to Baton Rouge. Like I know people there. A lot of my friends

still live there. You know, not now. There's also a lot of people I haven't seen in like 15 years that I went to high school with 20 years ago, but like some of my best friends still live there. There's also a lot of people I haven't seen in 15 years that I went to high school with 20 years ago. But some of my best friends are still there. My family is there. My mom is there. My sister is there. My dad is there. My stepmom is there. My other stepmom is in the region.

My brothers. Do I have multiple brothers? I have one brother. My family tree has many branches that are forked up my friend but i have one actual sister that's emily i have one half brother that's presley i currently have two step siblings one lives in england and one is fucking cj who's a bad motherfucker this dude was like in the marines and shit and like he's a bad son of a bitch but when i met him when he was a kid i thought he was just some dude that was gonna like shoot up a bank

or something like he just had that kind of vibe about him and now he's like the most badass fucking kid ever like he was in the marines he's got like good looking girlfriend like dude fucking rules and that's my stepbrother so by law he's he's my stepbrother and I have a stepsister who lives in England but these are people I don't see that often. I did see CJ at Thanksgiving though. He's badass as we pointed out. I wouldn't fuck with him. He knows guns and shit.

And then I got my sister, got my half-brother, got two stepbrothers. I got two former stepsisters who I haven't seen in forever but they are from my dad's second wife. Then I have my mom lives there. Am I missing anybody? Well, I got my brother-in-law who is my sister, Emily's husband. That's Brian, fanatical, lunatic, LSU fan guy. He's there. A lot of my best friends are there. there so like if we're looking at handicapping

where I'd like to be Baton Rouge like at this point in my life like you look at it and you go well Josh you've been in all these big markets why would you want to go to back to back to Baton Rouge yeah I'm sick of going to all these big markets and they end up being duds and then I'm fucked some of them on my own end some some things I fucked up some of them ended up just being disasters uh for other reasons so um I don't really find that all appealing. So like, look, if it was just like any job in the world you'd want, like you want to live somewhere and work somewhere, it would be Houston because I just I love the place. I know a bunch of people there.

It's a beautiful city. It's hot as shit. But at this point in my life, if you're giving me hot as shit or freezing my dick off in the snow, I take hot as shit. But then, of course, when the summertime rolls around, it's 120 degrees with 100 with 100 humidity i'd be bitching that it's not snowing i'm a hypocrite what do you want from me uh but i would go houston baton rouge then i would just throw in random texas towns right so like if san antonio had a job like my my buddy AJ works in San Antonio, says he loves it. If San Antonio called and they're like, hey, you want to do sports radio in San Antonio?

I'd be like, fuck yeah, I'll move to San Antonio. Because I love Texas. I love Texas. I love Louisiana. I love the South. I love smoking meat. I love HEB, man. These are the things I love. So, especially now that I smoke meat,-B is badass to me. So I would go Houston, Baton Rouge, insert random Texas towns like San Antonio, Dallas. I don't think I'd go like, you know, like I'm not going to, you know, you know, smaller than those towns in Texas. Like I don't love Texas enough to move to, you know, I don't know, Lubbock. Like I don't think I'm moving to Lubbock or I don't think I'm moving to Corpus or anything like that. But of the three or Austin, I guess I'd

throw in Austin, but Austin radio is kind of a drag and sports radio, particularly there's an abortion. So like they don't give a shit. So in terms of sports radio and how they handle it. So I probably wouldn't be interested in Austin. And I just don't really like Austin. I'm not an Austin guy. I try to be because it's trendy and that's what you're supposed to be. You know, Austin is, you know, and Nashville is kind of similar. I lived in Nashville. I'd move back there tomorrow if there was a job. It was a cool upcoming town, but it wasn't totally my vibe. And then like, again, those would be the top three for me. Like I'd go to an Atlanta if there was a job in Atlanta. Look, at this point, if Alaska called, I'd have to fucking listen.

Let's be real. But you start looking at these other towns. There's an appeal in going to kind of a college town. My ambition is I want to get back on the radio and then really start hammering the podcast and try to build something. That's what I'd like to do. But it's easier to build something when you've got a steady income coming in already. You know what I'm saying? So Houston, Baton Rouge, the other Texas cities.

I'm trying to think if there's anywhere. I mean, I'd put Philly in there just because if they call and they're like, if it was the right boss in the right situation, they're like, let's fuck shit up. I'd be like, okay, cool. Let's go. I mean, and then there's gotta be stuff that's just unrealistic. Like I'm never going to get a call from Los Angeles and I would never want to work in Los Angeles. It's just not my vibe. That's part of the country I've never lived in, the West Coast or the Pacific Northwest or the Southwest. I've lived and worked in kind of, you know, every other part of Chicago, Chicago called, which they won't. Cause when I reached out to Chicago, uh, when they had an opening, which they didn't really, they knew who they were going to hire, but I reached out and I was like, Hey, I see you guys are doing some like

auditions. Can I come up and audition? I can be there whenever. And I got a response from the PD and it just said, nah, we're good. And I was like, well, eat a fucking barrel of dicks, cock bag. I don't need you fucking people with your shitty radio stations anyway. I'm just so tired of these fucking people. I don't want to have to fucking be on bended knee for a bunch of people that I don't even have fucking respect for anyway. There are people I have great respect for. Let's say that there's just I hate everybody in the media or in the radio business because I don't. There's a lot of people I have a fuck ton of respect for. Then there's a lot of people who I have zero respect for.

And I certainly don't want to be on bended knee in front of these people like I'm fucking boys to men. Begging some assholes who have no ability anyway that are just grandfathered into these fucking jobs. Eat a fucking dick, bro. I don't need your shit. That said, if one of those people did reach out, I'd probably say sure. And then I'd act like I liked them. But anyway. But yeah, so to answer your question, Cole, Houston, Baton Rouge, which is kind of an upset, but I would certainly go back there. At some point in life, you get sick of moving around,

having to meet a bunch of new people. Every time I moved to one of these cities, I make a couple of friends at the radio station, never meet anybody else. It's just like, I don't want to do that shit anymore. It'd be more fun to go back somewhere where you know people and hang out you know and then you know the other texas towns like i like texas i like louisiana so there you go all right uh more to come