The Josh Innes Show - Why Are Coolers So Expensive?

Episode Date: August 19, 2026

First off, I truly believe I'd be the greatest gambler alive if I had any discipline. Second, I bought a new cooler yesterday and I'm baffled by how expensive they are. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Two and five Canadians will hear the words, you have cancer. That's why every step and dollar raised matters. On September 19th, join thousands in Toronto for the Princess Margaret Cancer Foundation Walk. Challenge yourself, friends, and family to walk 21 kilometers in support of life-saving research. Together, we can carry the fire and help create a world free from the fear of cancer. Register today at pmcfwalk.ca.ca. Hey, we're about to be in college football season. God, I love college football betting too.

You know, like if I could ever, and I've told you this before, but if I ever knew how to rain shit in a little bit and just really stay disciplined. And maybe that's my goal this year. And I know I say that every year on the pond. I know I say this to you guys every year and then I end up, you know, losing my ass. But if I could stay disciplined, if I could just follow, like, and be smart about what I'm doing. Here's the hardest thing.

And I think a lot of you guys, might understand this if you sports bet or anything in life. But like I think sports betting this really comes in. Being disciplined. And anything you do, discipline is the key. I am not a very disciplined person. There are some people who are capable of like mapping out an entire radio show, staying disciplined. They get up at the same time every day. They do the same workout every day. They eat the same thing every day. In some way, they're disciplined, right? And a lot of people are of the belief that discipline is the most important thing that you can have. If you are a disciplined, individual, you're set because you need to be regimented, right?

If I was disciplined, and I truly believe this with the weird systems that I have concocted in my brain for sports betting, if I was disciplined and followed my own rules consistently, I would be the greatest sports gambler of all time. They would write books about me. They would make movies about me. Because I have, you know, I've got my secret weapon over. over here, which is Beautiful Mind, sports betting jilly. And I know, like, I know it.

And that's why I've got it. And the good news is the page is turning to another football season. But I've got certain systems. And by the way, even if you're in a place that doesn't have sports betting, you can use some of these on certain websites because I think that most of these are still legal in most places. Like if you're listening to me in Philly, you have sports betting anyway. If you're listening to me in Detroit, you have sports betting anyways.

My Texas and Louisiana people, Louisiana does, Texas does it. If you're a Texas person, I would advise you to either, you know, Fliff or, Fliff is a good one, actually. Flip's a really good one. But here's what I would advise you to do. Two and five Canadians will hear the words, you have cancer. That's why every step and dollar raised matters. On September 19th, join thousands in Toronto for the Princess Margaret Cancer Foundation walk. Challenge yourself, friends, and family to walk 21 kilometers in support of life-saving research.

Together, we can carry the fire and help create a world free from the fear of cancer. Register today at pmcf walk.ca.ca. There's a couple of things you can do, and if you follow my lead, you're not going to win all of them, but you've got to be smart, and the big discipline is not overreacting to a couple of losses. This is where they get you, and this is where I get myself. You got to stay true. Like last year, when I was really staying true to it, I would never really break from my, like, hey, I'm going to bet 50 here, whatever.

Like I was consistent with it. And consistency is important, very important. And so is being regimented in this stuff. But what happens is you get the combination of like, hey, I'm on my 14th Bush latte. And you combine that with I just lost this bet and I'm super pissed. And I'm combining that with I'm already mad about other shit that has nothing to do with gambling. And then before you know it, it's like instead of just, hey, 50, 50, 50, letting it build. I'm like, fuck and I'm going to get it all back right now.

and then you don't get it all back right now. And then sometimes you get that false sense of security when you do get it all back one time and then you keep trying it. But here's a couple you can do that you can do whether you're in a place that has sports betting or not. Like right now when I'm recording this, it's five, let's see what time is it? Okay, 547. It is 547 and you could look at a baseball game like the Diamondbacks and Boston. that game is five to five right now.

So you've got a five five baseball game. And if you look at one of the sites right now, whichever site you prefer, like I will look at, let's look at Fliff. Fliff is a cool site. If I look at Fliff right now, which is a wacky site's got like weird avatars and stuff, but it's cool. I mean, it's the closest thing to sports betting I've seen on, you know, if you're in a place that doesn't have sports betting, right? but let's see that game's five to five the current over is 11 and a half now it's a I wouldn't get in on it now because it's in the eighth inning I would wait until you get into the middle of the ninth or the bottom of the ninth with the game tied at five if it's tied then I would take the over why because you're just banking on two runs to be scored in extra innings your hope then is that the team up in the top of the ninth at least pushes one or the top of the 10th pushes one across then the other team is setting up in a position where they can either tie it or win it once you start getting to over like two more runs, that gets difficult. Like I got mad the other day.

I forgot who it was that was playing. But I was trying to like push my limits on this one because I was ticked off about something. So I took a what you would call a, oh, what's that? Like an alternate over. So instead of taking two runs and extra innings, I'm like, I think there might be four runs. And it came close.

It missed it by one. Like there are games and you see them all the time. There are games in baseball's extra innings world where the game goes in. Well, there was one the other day. Here's a story that I didn't play, and I'm very disappointed. There was a zero-zero game in the ninth inning. It went to extra inning zero-zero. And on the draft king's prediction site, it does not go lower than four and a half runs.

Like, I guess that's part of their world. So it doesn't adjust it to go down to like one and a half or two-and-half runs. Fliff will do that. The draft king's one won't. So it's four and a half is the number, right? But because it was zero-zero, at one time, that four-and-a-half was worth. like a plus six or seven hundred. They're like, there's no way five runs are going to be scored.

It ended up like 10 to 9. I forgot what game it was, but it was a game like that, like where you're like, shit, I'd be rich if I would have done that. That's all I want to offer to you folks today is that we're getting to that time of year

where football's going to take over. And there are gistoms that we use. And I have to kind of go back and start looking at them again to get my mind right, to get my head into the game for football stuff. But like, for instance, the WNBA, I would never encourage anyone to sit around and watch the WNBA from beginning to end.

But if you get in late on certain games, and I don't have a set system, like it's a feel thing. Like I wish I could tell you these systems and say definitively that they're down by nine with two minutes to go, this. It's a feel thing. And you've got to kind of feel the vibe of the game. But I hit a lot of WNBA games,

the late over in these games. A lot of fouls. Like women, I think Jilly said this. Women's basketball, professional basketball is like college. They just keep fucking fouling. Like it doesn't matter if they're down 13 with, you know, 14 seconds to go. It's like foul. Like that's what women do.

I don't know why professional women are like that, but the professional women, that's what they do. So you watch some WNBA games or don't. Again, I would encourage you to avoid watching actual WNBA action. Don't watch the entire game. It's boring. The announcers, bless their hearts, I shit you not. I forgot what this person's name was,

but I was watching an LA Sparks versus Somebody game, Connecticut Sun. I don't know, Sparks and Son. And I'm watching this game the other day. And there was a person calling it. It was one of those situations where they were using the local announcers on the national broadcast. And when I tell you that I could not tell if this was a feminine type man, or like a butchish type woman that was doing play by play. And I'm not saying this to be titillating.

I'm not saying this to be salacious. I'm saying this because it's reality. Let me see. And it turns out this person is the voice of the WNBA LA team. And I didn't want to look it up. I was sitting there with Jilly. I'm like, Jilly, what do you think?

Do you think that this is, like, do you think this a man or a woman? And she's like, I don't fucking know. Like, I don't know if this is a man or a woman. woman. So we had to look it up. And this is the voice of the Los Angeles Sparks. Let's see, Los Angeles Sparks TV announcer. Because I settled on female. Wrong. It's a guy named Rashon Haylock is his name. And I think he also does stuff for like the G League team. But I was listening to this and I'm like, I don't know if this is a man or a woman. And she's Sure enough, it was a man.

And I'm not saying that to be insulting, but who is this? Who is cat? She must be the inn arena host. Yeah, okay. So this chick's too hot to actually be like someone involved in the broadcast. This chick's name is Catarina Contoris, cat, as it were. She's the virtual host. I don't even know what the virtual host does.

Like, do people sit around their house and watch this chick? I don't know. Let's see. Oh, these are the people that are in stadium people. These are not the PA people. I feel like I've seen this Catarina Cantoris. Are you like a TV chick that I've seen before? Katarina, who are you?

I know this chick from somewhere. I have to. Cateria Contoris, where have I seen you before? In my dreams, maybe? Who are you? Sacramento Kings Dancer turned arena host. I mean, I wouldn't know you from being a dancer from that, but I know you from somewhere.

I don't know. But she's hot. But anyway, the LA Sparks broadcast that I tried to watch, I don't know if it was a guy or a lady. Turns out it was a guy. All that to tell you this. You cannot, you don't have to watch the WNBA game, but you'll understand it.

There's a feel. Like, you know if a game's a certain level of out of reach, you have a really good shot at hitting the over, because you're just going to keep shooting until the end of the game. You also know that if it's in a weird kind of dead spot, like a no man's land or no lady, no they, them's land. land. Like, you know that there's a chance that the other team is still close enough where they might

just dribble out the clock and not jack up a shot at the end of the game. You also know that if it's in that six, seven, eight point range, you could start getting more fouls and free throws. Like, I was watching the end of a, it was, I think Dallas was playing against somebody, and Dallas was losing the other night. There were 20 points scored in the last, like, 90 seconds of that game with made baskets, free throws, made baskets free throws. So, again, it's all a feel thing, you know.

I know that we haven't talked about these things in a while, and these are things that are very important to me. They may not be important to you at all. You may be like, Josh, we don't give a shit. Tell us things about Pat McAfee's awful music again. And that may be how you feel right now. But all that to say that football season's here, and it's exciting. That means our Saturday, really every day of the week's going to be occupied. But Saturdays, smoking meat, drinking beers.

just went out and bought a new cooler. And I was really debating buying a fancy cooler. The lid of our cooler finally fell off, like the screws fell out, and it's kind of, it's stripped, so it's hard to get the screws back in. And we've had that cooler for a long time, so we're like, let's go get a new cooler. You know what's a fucking racket? Coolers. I should have been a goddamn cooler inventor.

Like this, like this Yeti. You're never going to convince me that there's something special about a Yeti cooler. Like, yeah, it might keep shit colder for a little bit longer. All I know is it's fucking heavy, and it holds beers just like the igloo cooler does. Maybe I'm just giving you like simpleton shit here, like rednecky simpleton logic. But the igloo cooler's $26 and the Yeti is $400. And I'm sure there's some science behind the Yeti that makes the Yeti a better choice. But who the fuck needs to keep things cold for four days anyway?

Like I see this on the outside of the Yeti. Keeps shit cold for four and a half days. who the fuck's keeping beer cold for four days? Now obviously there are other things. Like you might take this thing hunting and maybe, they're like, you're not going to put a fucking deer in it. It's just a cooler.

So I'm sure, like, look, one of the great mistakes I made in life back when I was in Houston the first time as I was a spokesperson for Miller Light. And they offered me a Yeti cooler. And I'm like, I live in a fucking apartment.

Like, what am I going to do with a Yeti cooler? Like, I didn't think about things like that. So I just told him to give it to John Lowe. Lopez. Because I was talking to Lopez, I'm like, what am I going to do with a Yeti cooler? He's like, can I have it? I'm like, I don't give a shit. Here, take it. Like, I didn't know that Yeti coolers were that big of a deal, that they're like that kind of a commodity.

But apparently they are. Like, Yeti coolers are this giant commodity. But I went around looking for a new cooler yesterday. So I go to, you know, I'm over an academy looking at coolers. And, you know, you can find decent priced ones, you know, like you kind of look at the hierarchy. Then you start asking your robot and your phone. Like, what's the hierarchy of coolers? Like, well, yeah, he's here. And Arctic is here. And I'm like, I want to find like a middle ground. But then when I ended up settling on was just, you know, fucking igloo cooler.

Like at the end of the day, I'm sitting my fat ass outside. I got some ice in the cooler. I got beers out there. Those beers are not going to sit in that cooler for a week. I'm going to drink them. And then I'm going to pour the ice out. But it's one of those things you know you don't need it. Because like, like, there really isn't a huge difference for what I'm doing,

which is just sitting outside and getting loaded. Right? So there's not a huge difference. in both of those things. Yet I want a fancy cooler. You know, like I'd like to have it. I don't need it, but I want it. But then as I walk around the stores and I'm looking,

I'm like, I'm not going to spend $300 on this fucking cooler. And then I went to Walmart where everything is more reasonably priced, right? And I'm looking at the igloos and like they're 25 bucks, cool, you know, and you can get some cheaper ones than that. And then I almost bought kind of a mid-level one. And I'm like, why would I, like, is there a huge? difference between spending $55 and spending $25? Like is the cooler that much better at 55 versus 25?

And I'm like, there's a lot of shit like that, though, where you look at shit and you're like, is this really like, like the name brand matters? But is there a huge difference between the name brand versus the non-name brand? You know, is there a huge difference between buying, you know, real Tylenol and knock off Amazon Tylenol? Oh yeah. You know what the difference is? $12. So then I just got the igloo.

Ready for the season. I got my igloo cooler. I ordered an LSU jersey on eBay for like $30. An old school one. Not like those new fucking jerseys that fit all tight. I don't care who you are unless you're just ripped. A new jersey is the most uncomfortable thing ever. It has no give.

They're awful. The new football jerseys. But I did order an old school Nike, like mesh type LSU jersey that I used to have. Founded on the old electronic baseball. It was actually, I want to say I got it for like 20 bucks. I'm like, cool, let's rock. So we're ready. We're ready for this shit.

Let's go. Anyway, more to come. Two and five Canadians will hear the words you have cancer. That's why every step and dollar raised matters. On September 19th, join thousands in Toronto for the Princess Margaret Cancer Foundation walk. Challenge yourself, friends, and family to walk 21 kilometers in support. of life-saving research.

Together, we can carry the fire and help create a world free from the fear of cancer. Register today at pmcfwalk.ca.ca.