The Josh Innes Show - Wilmer Valderama's Tradeable Hog...

Episode Date: October 3, 2025

It's October 3rd. It's "Mean Girls" Day. This leads me to discuss my love of Lindsay Lohan and, for whatever reason, Demi Lovato. I love my broken ladies. Also, does Wilmer Valderama have the most tradeable hog in history? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Well, today is a special day because today is October 3rd, and you know what October 3rd is? It's Mean Girls Day. Why is it Mean Girls Day? Because on October 3rd, Aaron Samuels asked Katie what day it was, and it's October 3rd, bang, Mean Girls Day. Suck on that. Boy, I love Mean Girls.

You have no idea how much joy it brings me. And I think I talk about this, maybe at least once a day to anyone who will listen. But I am just so glad that Lilo is back. I'm glad that she's healthy and she's thriving. I mean, yeah, the Freaky Friday sequel was really a piece of shit, and it was way too long. But she's back. And that's all that really matters. You know what matters is that Lilo is thriving.

Fuck, I love Lindsay Lohan so much. You have no idea. I just love her. And I'm glad she's back. There's two people who are on the rise again who are back and it brings me joy. One is Ms. Lindsay Lohan. Angel. Bay. What a woman. She's overcome. She's been to the top of the mountain. Hey, Tyler Dragon, give me a winners and losers of a Hollywood career. Well, one was a winner. Then she was a loser, but now she's a winner again, T-Drag. That's right. Lindsay freaking Lohan, my angel, my babe. She's back. She looks good. She looks healthy. She looks like she needs me in her life. That's number one. And then Demi Lovato. Dimmie Lovato. Dimmie Lovato's on. on the comeback trail as well. Like, it's a step in the right direction that she's now dressing like a lady again.

Huge development. She's dressing like a lady again, and she's not overdosing on crack. That is a step in the right direction. In fairness, I don't know that she ever overdosed on crack. That's not fair of me to say. I do think she may have had fentanyl, but I think if you have fentanyl, won't that just kill you? So I don't know if she actually did or not, but she's had some bad shit go her way. You know, most notably, she started dressing like a roadie for the black crow.

But now she's hot again. I was talking to somebody who kind of, you know, works around music and I'm like, how excited are you that Demi Lovato is hot again? And he's like, Demi Lovato's not hot and Demi Lovato's never been hot. And I was like, you bite your fucking tongue. You bite your dirty skank tongue because you're a skank. Fucking Demi Lovato. You want to see like peak hotness.

Go watch a cool for the summer video. But then like you go down and there was like a stretch where like the whole world was like, hey, what are men, what are women, which we're still in the middle of. But Demi Lovato was like, like a special kind of wacko in this time frame. Because she is a beautiful, beautiful woman, right? But she wasn't for a stretch. Oh, no. She had like really weird short hair and was wearing like flannels.

Like she was like a true definition of what, you know, like when you see those liberalism memes and it's like, this is what happens. This is, you know, what happens when you go liberalism. and you're like, yes, that's exactly what happens. But now she's hot again, and that's all that matters. She looks great. But if you want to see peak female form, you want to see the ultimate, have I taken a break yet in this? Hold on. Have I played a commercial in this?

No, I haven't. Here, I'm going to play a commercial here or a couple of commercials. I don't have any fucking commercials I'm going to play. I'm going to play enough. You got me? I'm going to play enough at 515 in the morning, but you have no idea what time it is. You don't know what time it is because you're not even up right now because I'm up before the fucking rooster. putting in work. I'm putting miles on it.

Woo! Let's play some fucking commercials. Maybe it's just a phase you're going through. You'll get over it. I can't help you with that. The next appointment is in six months. You're not alone. Finding mental health support shouldn't leave you feeling more lost.

At CAMH, we know how frustrating it can be trying to access care. We're working to build a future where the path to support clear and every step forward feels like progress. Not another wrong turn. Visit camh.ca to help us forge a better path for mental health care. All right. Where the fuck was I? Oh, you want peak hotness? You want to see female form at its finest? I want you to find an album and this album is called, uh, I believe the album was called, is it cool for the summer? Was that the actual name of the album? I want to make sure I should know this. But the album was called Confident. Not cool for the summer. Confident. And you knew she wasn't confident because nobody sings a song about how confident they are if they're

actually confident. They're just confident. But she said, no, I'm Demi Lovato and I'm fucking confident. And you know what? What's wrong with that? She said, what's wrong with being? What's wrong with being confident? Oh, I mean, that was a great song on this great album called confident. But there was another song called Cool for the Summer, which was about a lady trying to dabble into lesbianism. Not like she eventually did where she's got like really weird hair and she's dressed like the brawny paper towel man.

No. This was like lipstick lesbianism. The kind of lesbianism you would see on Skinimax at three in the morning when you're like 12 years old and you're just discovering what pounding off is. You're watching Red Shoe Diaries. It was that kind of shit. It wasn't like real sex lesbianism. It was fucking playmate of the apes lesbianism, man.

You're walking around like, she's like, hey, I'm cool for the summer. Don't tell your mother, die for each other, kiss one another. We're cool for the summer. Hey! Blu-do do do, blue-doo, bloodoo. Blu-da-do-do-do-do do-do. Take me down into your paradise. Don't be scared because I'm your body type.

It's just something that we want. to try. You know why? Because you and I were cool for the summer. And I did not know what that meant. And then I'm listening to the lyrics one day and I'm like, cool for the summer means they're munching each other's boxes. Colonel Langus. God, I love Demi Lovato. But then I didn't because she got real weird. You know, back when I was in tour in 2015 when she was on tour with Nick Jonas, where Jillie and I saw her in concert, in Camden, New Jersey, where we eventually met her after the show and took a prom picture with them how they decided to do that with two drunk assholes i'll never know but they did and it's on my phone and it's lovely but those are my girls

and they're back they're thriving i like i think demi's got a man now to like if she engaged it and she actually get married i'm not sure if you've never listened to the like some of the oh my god i'm looking at pictures from this tour this fucking chick was so damn hot dimmy lavato god and i think this is when she was getting plowed by fez fez used to hit that Dude, you know who's a coxman? Fez. Fez just goes out and he, like, he slams all the ass. Wait a second.

Didn't Fez fuck Lindsay Lohan too? What? Look, I'm just going to shoot you straight. If I could swap Cox, if I could do a hog swap, if I could hog swap with one guy, might be Wilder Valdarama. Let me make sure. I need confirmation. The only person who will know that is the Internet.

So let's ask the Internet. Did, like, who? has Wilmer Valdurama dated? Let's see. Hog Swap! Oh, holy shit. What? Let's see.

Let's go down the list of people that Wilderrama has allegedly dated, which to me would be an indicator that he's gone to pound town on these ladies, which good for him. Now, this claims Mandy Moore is one of them. Come on, brother. Come on. You see all these assholes that were shitting on our girl. Well, first of all, Mandy Moore, Angel. She had a song called I Wanna Be With You that was in a movie called Center Stage,

which was like some little drama movie about like ballerinas and dancing and shit that I went to see in the theater when I was like 12 because I'm gay as shit. So I went to see it and I'm like, this movie's fucking awesome. And then like, I want to be with you and it's like, I want to be with you.

If only for a night to be the one who's in your arms to hold you tight. Send me a tweet if you're listening to this, and I want you to tell me how much you love Mandy fucking Moore. So Wilmer Valderrama has allegedly dated Mandy Moore, Jennifer Love Hewitt. You know who I want to fight? All those sons of bitch body shaming sons of bitches on the internet that were shitting on Jay Love because she's a little thick now.

Well, she's 46 years old, you sons of bitches, and you're no prize. Ashley Simpson. Who he banged the good Simpson. God, what a man. What a mighty good man. Minka Kelly. Misha Barton. He probably broke her in half.

Let's see. Dimmie Lovato, Christina Million. Oh, God. Dude, when I was like 18, when I was in high school, Christina Millian had a song called Dip It Low. And she was also in a movie with Tommy Lee Jones where he's like a cop or it's like a sheriff for some shit in Texas and she's on the longhorn cheerleading squad.

Fuck, Christina Millian was the shit. Said he wants you? setting the inch you dip it low pick it up slow roll it all around poke it out make your back roll pop pop pop that thing I'm gonna show you how to make your man say oh god she's so she still looks good by the way she's with somebody right who is she with some famous person who's christillamil amelion dating right now god she was so hot and lindsay lohan and demi lavato look I'm sure that when ladies listen to this, they hear things like, you know what? I'd like to do, you know, a snatch trade with, you know, some lady that's been with a lot of hot guys, right?

Like, find some lady who's known for being with hot dudes swap snatches. This isn't just for men. But if we were doing just a flat out hog swap, if you could swap hogs with one guy over history, I mean, you would think it could be someone like, you know, like you might think, oh, what about Leonardo DiCaprio? He's like a 50-something-year-old. He's like a 50-year-old all the time. Yeah, but they're not famous a lot of the time. You mean to tell me I can get Demi and Lilo? Are you kidding me?

When did they date? Oh, so they were dating. She was 17 and he was 24. That's not all that weird. Like, if we're being honest, right? Weird is like, like, you know, when you see like Mick Jagger's fucking lady is like 50 years younger than him. That's weird. 24 and 17.

Is that really all that weird? Go ahead, Wilmer. What a man. This guy, Coxman, elite Coxman, this Wilder, Volderuneruner. And apparently, was he also with Milakunis? What? Of course, she was on that 70s show with him. Of course, she ended up with Mr. Ashton Kuchar.

Let's see. Fez was always in love with Kim, but the two were rumored to have been dating on that 70s show. Well, bang, look, guys got an elite cock. I don't know what to tell you. I don't know what to tell you, but Fez is an elite swordsman.

The man just knows his way around lady parts. I don't know. Like, I don't make, like, I don't, I can't tell you why he is. Like, I don't know how, I don't know what the appeal is. I don't know, I don't see it. Maybe it's because all I can see is Fez, and I don't know that I've ever seen him as anything other than Fez. I don't know what other movies Wilderrama's been in? All I know is Fez, Fez, Fez, it's all I know.

But the guy apparently, like, knows his way around Beaver. The guy has snagged a couple of pelts in his day. Elite level pelts. And to me, you're not going to find more elite level pelts. then Lindsay Lohan and Demi Lovato Those are top shelf and they were also broken That's another key in life They were broken at one point

And now they're back They're on the rise Think about that man Fucking Lindsay Lohan What a babe she was And I can say that because like I'm the same age as Lindsay Lohan So I can say like hey like when I was in high school Lindsay Lohan was the shit

And then she was like making music And she had like the red hair But was like super tan and shit Fuck I love Lindsay Lohan She was in a movie called Georgia Rule And she was super hot in this movie it was a horrible fucking movie and it was a jane fond it was awful but she was so hot and then she was in some movie where she was like a stripper or something she had only one leg

it was some weird movie i know who killed me was the name of that movie fuck go watch the cool for the summer video go watch the cool for the summer video or confident and tell me that's that peak 2015 hotness right before the world went to shit it's kind of like the last great hurrah before trump came in and then everybody developed t ds and nothing was fun anymore like 2015 was arguably like the last run of fun. Then Trump happened and then everybody lost their fucking minds and Keith Oberman was broadcasting from his balcony on fucking tubey or wherever the fuck he is. But no, that was like the last good time in life was like 2015.

We had no fears. We had no worries. We weren't worried about these things. We weren't worried about, you know, like the people we did. You know when you never saw signs that say in this house we believe blank? 2015. You didn't see those fucking signs because everybody knew you believe that. that. And in this house, we believed that Dimmie Lovato was a top shelf piece. But then a couple

years later, Dimmie's broken. Trump broke them all, God damn it. That's why I hate the goddamn guy. You broke Dimmie Lovato. You took away prime Dimmie Lovato years from us. Damn you! More to come.