The Josh Innes Show - Winter Storm Blair Day 1

Episode Date: January 5, 2025

The midwest is about to be pelted by Winter Storm Blair. Now, I have no idea how bad things will be in STL. But, the forecast is calling for lots of ice and snow and possible power outages. We are probably going to be trapped in our house for at least Sunday...maybe longer. So, we will document the whole thing . Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The following was recorded from inside an ice plunge. Ah! Woo! Okay. All right. When a Coors Light is cold enough, the mountains on the can turn blue. So the next time you want a cold lager, cold filter, cold package Coors Light, just wait until those glorious mountains on the can turn blue.

It's easy to say that fast when you're freezing gold. Spring is here, and you can now get almost anything you need delivered with Uber Eats. What do we mean by almost? You can't get a well-groomed lawn delivered, but you can get chicken parmesan delivered. Sunshine? No. Some wine? Yes.

Get almost, almost anything delivered with Uber Eats. Order now. Alcohol and select markets. See app for details. All right, folks. It is 1135 on Saturday night. That makes it January 4th, 2025. Josh and old Roscoe and Jilly.

I just discovered today that Ross, whenever you get the brush out on him, can really do some shedding. Quite impressive amount of hair that we pulled off of this dog. But he's a good boy. And we're here and we just watched some football. And Joe Burrow and the boys kept it alive. Now we got a route on Sunday for the Kansas City Chiefs and the New York Jets. That's who we're rooting for to get Joe and Jamar and the whole damn crew into the playoffs. Had a couple of nice hits.

We're in a real tight spot here, though, today, and I'll tell you why. The worst possible spot ever. There's this big winter storm that's uh that's blowing through the midwest i'm sure you've heard of it it's called uh winter storm blair blair it's a fat girl's name no it's a family name or actually that'd been the other way around uh it's a family name well it's a fat girl's name well uh we've got a storm that's named after a fat girl that's blowing through here or if you get technical it's named after the best looking member of the cast of the facts of life played by lisa welchell blair but anyway so uh winter storm blair is uh beginning to blow through and here in

kirkwood missouri we're expected to get sleet and frozen rain, which apparently there's a difference between sleet and frozen rain. I didn't know this. But we're going to get that and lots of snow. And it's a fucking nightmare. But it's going to be blowing through here tomorrow. Therefore, driving to Illinois is going to be, well, as of right now, seemingly impossible. But the hope is that a miracle happens and it is possible to drive

to Illinois but as it stands now we had to make a lot of bets today under the assumption that we weren't going to be able to go to Illinois tomorrow and if you don't know we can't bet in Missouri it's legalized now but it hadn't like gone through yet so we had to make all of our bets on today's games and tomorrow's games, the Sunday games. All that had to be put in today on Saturday. So I got a lot of bets. I hit some nice stuff today. But now I don't get to drive over to Illinois and put my bets in. I don't get to live bet tomorrow.

I don't get to do any of it. It's bullshit. Fuck Mother Nature. Fuck the weather. Fuck snow. It's Missouri's fault. It's not the snow's fault. Well, I'm still Fuck the weather. Fuck snow. It's Missouri's fault. It's not the snow's fault. Well, I'm still blaming the snow.

I feel like most of the people listening in Texas are like, oh, boo-hoo, cry me a river. That's fine. If you're listening in Texas and it doesn't impact you, then it doesn't impact you. But my point is now I can't drive over to Illinois to put in my bets for the final weekend of the year, a weekend when there's great opportunities because, as we've mentioned in a previous podcast, tons of gambling incentives and shit or guys are trying to get their incentives. Like today, by the way, you want to talk about hitting the lottery. I sat around over in Illinois long enough to wait for the touchdown for Derrick Henry to get to positive money. It started the day at like minus 300 and then it got to positive money.

That motherfucker scored two touchdowns and ran for over a hundred yards in the second half. Seven in the first half. I think he had eight yards in the first half and then ran for like 130 something yards. So I can't play his over. I told you like you'd probably play Henry's over at halftime. I should have been instead.

I played Lamar. I want to say his number was still when he had eight yards. I want to say his number was still, when he had eight yards, I want to say his number was in the 40s. Easy peasy. I know, and I didn't do it, but still hit some other stuff. But the good news is Joe is still alive. Jamar is still alive. We got NFLSU parlays that are still alive.

Jelly, what the hell was this bet that you built? You built like an NFLSU touchdown parlay that's worth like a billion dollars if it hits? I think it's like plus $27,000 or something stupid. Jamar Chase touchdown, that already hit. And I took Malik Neighbors for a touchdown. BTJ, Brian Thomas Jr. for a touchdown. Foster Merrow for a touchdown. And Justin Jefferson in the night game for a touchdown the

nflsu touchdown mega parlay and how much did you put on this like a dollar 83 so if it hits you'll win like 200 bucks which would be a massive hit for you yes but if it hits i may kill myself because if you would have put 50 on it would have won like 12 grand probably but instead we'll be like wow you just hit the most epic parlay ever and you want a whopping 200 on it yeah well it's probably not gonna cash but probably not but if it does yeah then i'll then i'll kill myself but anyway uh like i hate snow i hate ice and here's kind of like kind of like a situation here if things get as bad as they say it could this could be a scenario where we're essentially

trapped in this house like it's the shining like we're trapped in this place for days that's why we're stocked up on like different foods and shit I don't know if we have enough beer for this we're gonna find out wine and we have vodka and some sort of cherry

seven up that's fine but i'm just concerned that we might be stuck in here for sunday and monday my hope is that we wake up tomorrow and find out that this was all just like typical news bullshit and that it wasn't that big of a deal and And that we can go run the roads tomorrow. And that life will be normal. But the fear is, the main fear is that somehow we lose power. And there's ice. And the fucking shit gets frozen. No, losing the power would be the worst. Then we really can't watch any of these games.

Now the stove is gas, which is good. So even if the power goes out, we can still make stuff on the stove. But we won't be able to watch any of the games we'll have no lights there'll be a lot of yahtzee by candlelight yahtzee by candlelight that's what we're going to be stuck with and i gotta power up like a battery operated radio and hope that one of these shitty radio stations in st louis actually plays some of the sunday football games i had to search for the damn game today and i found found it, which was not, again, this sounds like old people problems, but I had to go get the oil changed and the car, and then I had to listen to the game on the radio to find out what I wanted to live bet. So I had to find the game on the damn radio, and I finally found the damn thing.

I know you have your own problems. I totally get it, and I respect that you have your own problems but as we sit here today I'm hoping and I again this is just wishful thinking but I hope that somehow this is not nearly as big of a deal as people say it it's gonna be regardless of what happens you'll be like oh it's fine I can make it no you're not that's fine but even from not even from a gambling standpoint just a life standpoint I don't want to be trapped in the fucking house for two or three days and again like tomorrow if we're stuck in the house we bought a 30 pack of bush lights so we got that and a couple extra beers we still have to make this awesome concoction

that I saw on the internet which was a combination of it's kind of like an Irish car bomb but it was like a holiday themed Irish car bomb so it's a like a Guin themed Irish car bomb. So it's a, uh, like a Guinness. And then I want to say it was a Guinness and then a shot, uh, the, a mixture of, um, of Bailey's and then what was it? Oh, and, and rumplements got, and then you drop the Bailey's rumplements concoction into the Guinness and you chug it. So it's like a car bomb. And instead of like an Irish car bomb for, you know, like St. Patrick's Day or whatever, it's like a holiday themed car bomb. So we're ready for that. So I got that tomorrow, but I'm really hoping that this shit isn't bad.

That's kind of what we're documenting here on the pod is we're documenting just how this thing's going. Now, as we sit here at 1143 on this Saturday night, as I look out the window, it hasn't been too bad. There's a little bit of accumulation outside. There hasn't been any accumulation. That hasn't started yet. There's snow on the ground outside. That's not accumulation. That's like a dusting.

Okay, fine. But that's semantics. My point is there's still shit on the ground. And if you had never seen snow in your life before, if you're some Louisiana kid or Texas kid that's never seen snow, you'd go, holy shit, it's snowing. That's sleet, technically, but yes. That's fine, but there's a little bit on the ground. By the way, hold on. Let me play a couple commercials here, and then we will continue with this.

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Bonus award. It is non-withdrawable Pick 6 credits that expire in 14 days. Limited time offer. See terms at pick6.draftkings.com slash promos. All right, so then it occurred to me on like Wednesday, Thursday, like Jilly was like, we got to get some salt for this because this thing is going to be serious. And we got to get pet-friendly salt. So it's not as simple as go find the first thing of like, know rock salt we can find or ice melt we can find we have to find now pet friendly as we've always done I mean it's not anything new we had a dog for 12 years and now we have another

dog Mr. Roscoe here so it's nothing new but we had to find it so I went to PetSmart the other day I tried to find some I couldn't find any. So I ordered some pet-friendly ice melt on Amazon that was supposed to be here by eight o'clock tonight. I get a message, an email at like 6.30 or something like that, or whenever it came in today that said, oh, by the way, your ice melt won't be here until January 8th. So by the time you even get this ice melt, it's not going to matter. So then I had to go on the hunt to try to find more ice melt. And everywhere I went, there was no ice melt. There was no pet friendly ice melt. I'm going to Ace Hardware. I can't find anything. I'm going to the grocery store. I can't find anything. I'm going, I went to AutoZone. I looked

up online and they said AutoZone might have this shit. Couldn't find it at AutoZone. Couldn't find it anywhere. So like a bunch of fucking wackos, we had to, what, door dash? What did we do? What did we do to get our salt? Yeah, we door dashed it. But again, I told you a week ago, hey, we should probably buy this. Yeah, I'll handle it. I'll handle it. That's typical Josh Ennis.

I'll figure it out. I'll handle it. But I did. I ordered something that said it would be here today, and it wasn't here today. That's stupid. You can't trust like an Amazon or any delivery when there's a snowstorm coming. It's not just here that there's a snowstorm.

I understand that. But then don't tell me it's going to be here on Saturday. I know what the weather is. Don't lie to me. Amazon lied to me. Or don't tell me five days ago. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I got it. I got it. I got it. And just keep telling me that I'm stupid basically. I didn't tell you that you're stupid. I said that I was going to handle it and I

did because it was supposed to be here today by 8 o'clock. So you were late until fucking Friday when the storm's coming on Thursday. Thursday. It was Thursday that I ordered it. Early Thursday. Yeah, because you went out to go find it when the forecast was already here. When I told you on Monday, hey, go get this stuff.

Well, it's not my fault that Amazon bent me over. It's your fault that you didn't get it on Monday. I got bent over by Amazon. I got fucked by the long dick of Amazon. It said it was going to be here on Saturday. Today is Saturday. And then, by the way, it said to be here by Saturday at 8 o'clock. Then at like 6 o'clock on Saturday, I get an email that says it's not going to be here until

goddamn January 8th. Have you seen Kansas City where there can't be you know flights taken off the roads are all ice like everywhere around here is impassable. I don't give a shit look I did my job I ordered the shit I gave myself multiple days to get it here. Give yourself two days

which is just standard Prime now. Define multiple. Two days is multiple days. Prime isn't like it used to be. Prime now is like three, four days. Prime's a farce anyway. So when I said Monday we should get this, yeah, yeah, yeah. You walked right by it four times.

Then you went to the store again on Tuesday. Hey, why don't you get that while you're there? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll handle it. I handled it. I ended up paying the $25 for a $10 thing of fucking ice melt on DoorDash. I handled it.

It was Amazon that fucked us. I took care of it. I handled the situation. You ordered it on Amazon on Monday. Great. Look, Amazon screwed me. I did my job. At some point, you have to accept that you did your job and other people failed. No, you did your job. You did not do your job.

You should have got this on Monday. I did my job and Amazon failed us. Look, I was a king and Amazon fucked us. And that's fine. So here we are. We sit here on this Saturday night. I don't know what this place is going to look like tomorrow. The estimates are that there's going to look like tomorrow. The estimates are

that there's going to be snow. How much snow are we supposed to get allegedly? I think like four to eight. Four to eight inches and some ice and some sleet and frozen rain

and whatever. My hope is that a miracle happens and we're not stuck in this. But I'll tell you this, and we've lived through some snow storms in various places we've lived. Everywhere we've lived,

we've had some sort of ice issue at some point uh we had like stuff like this with houston what god what year was it in houston that it was so cold in our townhouse like we couldn't heat it up it was fucking miserable that was the big deep freeze wherever it was out of like power and water for like days yeah that one sucked and then we how many inches did we get? And that's what she said. How many inches did we get in Philadelphia that one time? It was 22. 22 inches. We go to sleep. I open the front door the next morning, and the snow is damn near up to my groin.

Like, it is awful. Then I have to get my fat ass out there with a shovel and shovel that shit. So that was the worst we had in Philly. We had the ice thing in in houston and then in nashville we had a big snowstorm i guess it would have been around this time in oh one oh two i guess it would have been oh two because we lived there for about a year it would have been oh two that was like 20 years 20 sorry. 2022. So 2022, we had that, and we're delayed in going to Dad's Night Ranger concert. We did make it. It was a blessing.

But, you know, we deal with this shit. And now, last year we had a snowstorm. My friend Tance was in town in this sack of shit. He was all like, oh, dude, I'm so excited to see snow. And it was this big fucking snowstorm, and it was miserable and cold and terrible. That was about a year ago. You got to take Luther to the snow for the last time, as it turns out, and he loved it. Well, that was nice.

But then now we sit here, and it's a matter of whether or not this shit's going to be bad. So as it stands now, as we're going to keep giving you updates on this throughout the weekend, it'll be like a podcast, not in real time, but you'll get kind of a full-on experience here with us on the pod as we sit here right now it i don't even think it's actually snowing or sleeting or anything outside start to like 1 a.m really but there was a little bit there was some sleet i put down the the the the ice melt so what do you anticipate it looks like when we wake up in the morning then i know i think most of the actual snow snow is supposed to start tomorrow afternoon okay this is gonna be ice

and sleet so a lot of ice and sleet we're more than likely going to be stuck in the house it's going to be awful fortunately at least hey look if you're looking for the silver lining in all of this the silver lining is we at least have football on all day tomorrow and all night. Like from noon until 11 o'clock at night, we'll be watching football and we got our bets in. That's a blessing. I'm trying to look for the positive. You wish there was a London game, don't you?

Because this guy, Ross, here gets us up at like 7.30 every day. That's true. So we're going to have like four hours of pregame. Yes. So basically we're going to start getting hammered at seven in the morning because we can't walk the dog anywhere more than likely because it's going to be ice and cold and terrible. So who knows?

It has all the potential in the world to be an absolute fucking disaster here. Maybe the power will go out. Maybe it won't. I don't know what's going to happen. I'm hoping it's a news overreaction thing. Go to the grocery store today. All the bread's gone gone all the milk's gone all the the eggs are gone really all the chili ingredients were gone yeah milk and bread was fine yeah jilly went to try to find uh chili ingredients we're just trying to make sure our bases are covered and we're ready

to go for this thing but this fucking sucks we need to get somewhere where this doesn't happen or if it does happen it's very rare uh i want to say it was on this day or like this week 20 years ago i think it was in 2004 it snowed in new orleans not a ton of snow but it did snow when i was in high school it's snow norms we got a couple of ice issues too when we were in when i was a kid but um here we are. This is absolutely... Look, hopefully I'm going to... I hope that tomorrow that when we update you guys on this pod, we update you and you're like,

I can't wait to see what's happening. Hopefully it's not a big deal. Hopefully, like even if we can't drive to Illinois tomorrow, hopefully it's not a disaster and I'm up to my knees in snow and I'm shoveling. Although there are some nice young kids that are on the Facebook offering

to come shovel snow for people in my ass. Look, if these kids Venmo, I'll reach out to them. You've already missed the cutoff. They've got their list full. Fuck these kids. As usual, you've waited too long. I don't even have Facebook. Speaking of Facebook, my dad, oh God,

I think I might have mentioned this last night, but I'll mention it again. My dad, I talked, he FaceTimed me because he's on his way to one of his comic cons, you know, and he FaceTimed me yesterday and you know, just typical, like half paying attention to what I'm saying. Hey, what's the latest? I'm trying to find a job still. So you know what I'm going to do, Josh, I'm going to post on my Facebook and I'm going to see if any of my radio friends can help you out. I'm like, okay, dad, whatever. But I just know it's going to happen. And it's going to be the most sad sack, pathetic looking thing ever. But why would I want to ruin his time? It makes him feel

good about himself. So why would I want to ruin it? But I'm just going to look like a total asshole. He's going to post like random fucking pictures of me from when I was a fucking kid, weird pictures of me on his Facebook and say, Hey, hire my goddamn kid. Shit. I don't know what to tell you, Ross. I don't know what to tell you. All I know is that, uh, the hope is that tomorrow we're not trapped here, but the odds are we are trapped here. The good news is we didn't drink a ton of beer today most of our beer was from our leftover beer uh of the golden light i know a lot of you guys i don't even think they have golden light in anywhere else other than like st louis or something like that and minnesota but it's like a michelob golden light if you've never had michelob golden light it's fantastic so we finished those up so we should have enough beer for tomorrow and hopefully Monday. We do have some boxed wine left.

We have just giving you an update here. I got a lot of bets that I've put in already. Let me go through some of these actually. So you guys kind of know with us tomorrow where we stand. I don't even know where the hell my phone. Well, here's my phone. Let me see what some of these bets I put in are just so you guys kind of know but i so i can't put anything tomorrow so i don't even know maybe some of these guys won't even play

i don't know we've been hosed by the stupid fucking weather get me somewhere warmer get us anywhere tomorrow you're like oh it's fine i can go you're not going if it's like snowing and sleeting okay well if it's not snowing and sleeting then maybe i'll still go uh let me look at some of the things i have in here for you guys this is the hope that these all hit and we're very successful let's see here i've got marvin harrison jr over 55 and a half yards caleb williams over 198 and a half passing roma dunzey over 35 and a half yards. Keenan Allen of the Bears, or sorry, he was receiving. I take that back. Keenan Allen over 50.5 receiving.

Aaron Rodgers, two touchdown passes. Tyreek Hill over 50.5 receiving yards. Malik Nabors over 74.5 receiving yards. Kyler Murray, who needs these yards to hit a bonus and get money, 40 rushing yards. Cortland Sutton over 80 and a half receiving yards kyler murray anytime touchdown he needs a touchdown to hit a bonus geno smith 240 and a half yards geno smith needs yards and a win to hit a bonus so i took that jackson smith and jigba over 61 and a half receiving yards if geno to throw for the yards, then he might as well throw him to Jackson Smith and Jigba.

Brian Thomas Jr., longest reception over 27.5 yards. Brian Thomas Jr., over 81.5 receiving yards. NFLSU parlay is Brian Thomas Jr., 80 receiving. Justin Jefferson, 90. And then Malik Nabors, 70 receiving yards and over 6.5 catches. The other NFL issue parlay which already has a leg that hit which was uh Jamar Chase 80 yards would need the 94 and a half from Justin Jefferson 81 and a half from Brian Thomas Jr. and Malik neighbors 70 and Malik

neighbors over six and a half so that's all the stuff I have on DraftKings tomorrow. Then on FanDuel tomorrow, let's see what we got. I have a parlay for the Sunday night football game. Amon Ross, St. Brown, six catches. Justin Jefferson, six catches. Jameer Gibbs, three catches. And Jordan Addison, four catches. Jared Goff and Sam Darnold to combine for 600 yards. Amon Ross, St. Brown to score a touchdown.

Jared Goff and Sam Darnold to throw for 25 passing yards each in each quarter. What? That sounded like it was all the same parlay. It's not. Sorry. The parlay was just the receptions. Then on its own was Jared Goff and Sam Darnold to throw for 600. Amon Ross St. Brown to score a touchdown. Jared Goff and Sam

Darnold each to have 25 receiving yards in each quarter. Aaron Rodgers over 227.5 passing yards. Jameer Gibbs over 32 have 25 receiving yards in each quarter Aaron Rodgers over 227 and a half passing yards Jameer Gibbs over 32 and a half receiving yards Jared Goff over 281 and a half passing yards Devon Achan over 23 and a half receiving yards Mike Evans over 94 and a half receiving yards that's all the shit I have for tomorrow somebody sent me a tweet and was like did you ever explain why you only take overs? Why don't you root for unders? Because rooting against scoring and offense and fun is

anti-American and it's communist, you sacks of shit. Always take overs. We take fucking overs in this house. This is a house of overs. We don't take unders because we're not fucks. Anyway, that said, this could be a miserable four or five days. It could be nothing. It could be a miserable two days and then a bunch of horrible shit after that's livable. Who knows what's going to happen here? It's going to be tomorrow. You can't go anywhere. Sunday, you can't.

I'm trapped. I'm trapped in here. Ross, I'm trapped. I'm trapped in here. Ross, I'm trapped. And you're trapped too because you're going to want to go for all these damn walks, Ross, and you're not going to be able to because it's going to be miserable outside

and icy and terrible. Look at his teeth hanging out. He's an adorable boy. By the way, we learned about his shedding today because I got this brush. It's like rubber brush. There's a lot of hair that comes off of this dog when we adopted this guy the little thing on pet finder was like he doesn't shed that

much and in fairness he doesn't shed a ton but like he does shed oh he's low energy bullshit this motherfucker's low energy this guy's running around like a crazy person um there were some lies that were told on the pet finder bio that's all i'm gonna say i will leave it at that there were some lies told there were some inappropriate lies that were told to us but now we're you're ours now ross so here you are and we question whether or not ross likes us i feel like laying like this like this with his dick all hanging out and his little look at his little scrotum that has no boy imagine being Ross and you once had balls and like he's like two or three years old so like he's lived a life with balls and then like doesn't have balls anymore like how

does he feel about that and he's got like an empty little scrotum like it's still there like Luther didn't have a scrotum it was just like there were balls at some point but then like now like rosh just has a little dangly little scrotum there that once housed testicles and now there are no testicles in there how does he feel about that maybe he's ornery over that i don't know but uh that's how he is right now so this is day one of the uh what they call winter storm blair this is day one of this uh we just started getting some action here a little while ago what's that we're gonna go to bed now and then we're just gonna wake up and drink at like 11 no i'm saying we're gonna go to bed now we're gonna wake up and drink at 7 30 okay that's fine too um we should have got mimosas I guess we should have but in hindsight there are no mimosas

we've got vodka and I have a couple capri suns does vodka and capri sun count as a mimosa why not hey look mimosa is in the eye of the beholder so look tomorrow's probably going to be a miserable day now it's going to be a great day because we're watching football we got football bets in but it's going to be miserable and that we're trapped in the house now again if there's a miracle that happens and nothing really comes through here and we wake up in the morning and life is great great but as it stands tomorrow we're going to be trapped so all we're going to keep doing is some some podcast updates for you on how this fucking storm is going. Maybe some bedding updates. I don't know. We'll let you know, but you guys are great. And we'll check in with you. Uh, this again,

day one, we've been on for about 25 minutes here. This is day one of winter storm Blair, which is really just wreaking havoc on the Midwest. And here we are in fucking St. Louis. God, I'd rather be anywhere else right now. But here we are. So we will keep you guys posted.