The Kevin Trudeau Show LIMITLESS - Former NAVY SEAL: #1 Secret For WINNING In Life | Ep 98

Episode Date: June 19, 2025

In this powerful episode, Kevin Trudeau talks with Garrett Unclebach, a former Navy SEAL turned transformational coach to reveal the #1 SECRET to achieving success this year — and it’s not what you think. You’ll learn how elite warriors find unshakable purpose, find their fire, and unlock Seal-level SUCCESS- and how you can, too. If you want to stop being average...if you want to be ELITE...this is your wake-up call! Your mission is waiting.Timestamps:00:00 - Introduction01:09 - The Reality of SEAL Training06:45 - High Failure Rates in SEAL Training09:15 - Mental Resilience15:21 - Discovering Purpose20:43 - Realizing Masculine Identity Unkelbach discusses the modern struggles men face in expressing their masculinity.33:42 - Characteristics of an Elite Male39:42 - Difference Between Purpose, Mission, and Vision45:50 - Unlocking Your Potential🔗 Learn the truth about Kevin : https://KevinTrudeau.com #KevinTrudeau #Limitless #NavySEAL #WinningMindset #Discipline #MentalToughness #PeakPerformance #SelfMastery #LifeStrategy #PersonalDevelopment #MindsetShift #HighPerformance #EliteTraining #successhabits ******************************************************************************"What Men Do Wrong In Relationships" - https://youtube.com/live/DkhN0yAFDEw"What Women Do Wrong in Relationships (From a Man’s Perspective) "https://youtube.com/live/PfTsFgoHsxw*******************************************************************************“You can have perfect romantic relationships, friendships, and business partnerships.  So why don’t you?  Remove the invisible barriers to having the exact relationships you want with the “Relationship Processes” :  https://www.relationship-processes.com/spotify Learn the “success system that never fails” with the “Ultimate Success Course” :  https://www.claimyourwish.com/ *******************************************************************************FREE TRAINING, FREE VALUE:[https://gurukev.com][https://nuggetsofgold.com][https://t.me/TheKevinTrudeauFanClubChannel]#kevintrudeau #KevinTrudeauShow #TheKevinTrudeauShow #TheKevinTrudeauShowLimitless

You use the word elite male. So what's the definition of that? Most people will live their life dying slowly for something they would never have given their life for. But the greatest life that you can live is running towards purpose. Garrett Uncleback is a former combat Navy SEAL. Now he's a world-class transformational coach and speaker. Unlocking the hidden power inside you. He's not just teaching people how to find their mission.

He's showing them how to live it. Find your personal power and purpose. If you want to be elite, these are the Navy SEAL secrets you've never been told. How to be an elite man with Garrett Uncle Bach. Former Navy SEAL. When did you become a Navy SEAL? So I got into the Navy in 2010. Went straight into SEAL training.

It's quite a long process. About two years later, I showed up at SEAL Team 3, so around 2012. And you probably know at least a few people from SEAL Team 3. Great legacy there. people like Jocko Willink or Johnny Kim. Everybody knows Johnny makes you feel bad about your career. Navy SEAL, Harvard Med, NASA astronaut. So, yeah, 2012, SEAL Team 3.

And why did you have an interest in becoming a SEAL? That's a great question. So I grew up in a household where I learned a lot about serving and making your life not about yourself. And so I always thought that I'd wanted to join the military. And for a long time, I thought I wanted to be a pilot. But around the time I was finishing high school, I saw a video on YouTube. And YouTube looked a lot different back then, but I saw a video on YouTube of Navy SEALs

halo jumping. Right. So it was Navy SEALs jumping out of an airplane, you know, at 30,000 feet with oxygen mask on. And I thought that was just the coolest thing in the world. And the next thing I watched after that was a Discovery Channel documentary called Bud's Class 234. And the opening line in the Discovery Channel documentary is the hardest military training in

the world. I watched the whole four-hour documentary straight through and I knew this is what I was supposed to do. And so shortly after that, I joined the Navy. And when you became a seal and went through the training and went through the being deployed as a seal and the missions as a seal, was it what you expected? That's a great question. You know, there's things that were shockingly good and there were things that were shockingly bad. One of the lessons I took out of that, is, you know, back in the day, when I joined the military, they still had brochures in the recruiter's office. They probably just pull out an iPad now, but they had a brochure back then of what it looked

like to be a Navy SEAL. And one of the lessons I learned is that there was a lot of things that weren't in the brochure. They'll show you all the great things, but it's a great lesson of life. It's a lot of things that aren't in the brochure. So what, you know, what surprised me so much about the SEAL teams was, I was surprised by what some of the greatest leaders that I've ever met looked like. And I was also surprised, but I met some really poor leaders in the military,

which is you would think like, oh, man, the SEAL team is the best of the best. But think about any, you know, MLB clubhouse, any NFL or NBA locker room. There's a guy in that locker room that everyone knows this guy's better than all of us. And in every locker room, there's a guy in there that people think, man, how did this guy get in here? And so the same is true in the SEAL team. So that was a surprise for me. So, yeah, there were a lot of things. but it both exceeded and there were parts that surprised me and it wasn't as good as I thought.

Are there any specific leadership skills that you learned as a seal? Yeah, there's two. One of my favorite, you know, there's not a lot of $10 words in the Navy. Most of us weren't that educated. But one word they taught on quite a bit was called equanimity. EQ, U-A-N-I-M-I-T-Y. Sounds like a yogi. Yeah, and what it means, Webster's

1828 dictionary defines it as an even mind or an even soul, which is Charlie Munger talked about how to be a great investor. You had to have the ability to both sustain great prosperity without being overexcited and also great despair without being driven crazy. He said a great investor was much more about a temperament than it was about a skill set. And I'd say the same is true for Navy Seals. So much more about temperament than skill set. Equanimity is the for in the sense. In the SEAL teams, they called it, or what equanimity was in the SEAL teams is that you didn't panic when you were getting shot at, which is a pretty important skill for the job that I used to have that when people are shooting at you, you don't run and panic, that you could continue to perform

your training. And one of the ways that they test for this, because SEAL training is very long and arduous, they do a lot of the very difficult test day after day after day where if you fail today you go home and just think about having your dream dangled in front of you on a carrot every single day and it's past this test or go home. So what that program and what that pipeline develops is a certain type of individual that always performs under pressure. If you're not like that, you're not going to make it through the pipeline because they test you under pressure every single day. But equanimity is this ability to both not get over excited. You know, think about, you know, if you're playing video games when you blow up the entire team, the enemy team,

that's something to like spike your controller and get excited about. But in the real world, you know, you successfully deploy a rocket. This isn't the right time to stand up and do a touchdown dance. That's great for sports when you can stop the clock, but not so much in reality. And the other side of that is also that you can sustain great despair, that you can go through struggles. Believe it or not, Kevin, when I teach this, I talk about this in one of my keynotes And I tell this story of my wife, before she was my wife when we were dating, she called me, she was on the side of the highway in California, called me crying with a flat tire. And I always tell people, I said, I did still get married after saying this.

But my wife called me, girlfriend at the time, and I told her no amount of tears is going to change that flat tire. And I didn't say that because I was mean or harsh. I said that because I actually cared deeply about her. I married her. And what I was concerned about was her getting hit by another car. on the side of the highway. And so I stayed on the phone with her and I said, yeah, I need you to calm down. Not because I don't care about the distress that you're in, but if you don't calm down,

you're going to be on the highway longer than I want you to be. The best thing we can do is approach this quietly and calmly and let's get you back on the road as quickly as possible. And so equanimity is one of many great abilities I learned about in the SEAL teams. Now, there's a lot of people that went through SEAL training. A lot of them don't make it. Oh yeah. The fail ride, fail rate is extremely high. Every year, 5,000 plus applicants will start at the top of the pipeline. These are people who go to a recruiter and say, hey, I want to become a Navy SEAL. There's a lot of those. And every year, about 200 of those, sorry, 800 of those, four classes. No, no, no, sorry, 200. Yeah, about 200 will become Navy SEALs.

Out of 5,000. Yeah, out of 5,000 initial applicants. Do you remember the old ballot to the Green Berets? No, I don't. Oh, it was a great song. It says, 1,000 men will test today. Only three made the Green Beret. It was only three out of a thousand or something. That's about what it is.

That was back in the 60s, I think. Yeah, that's about what it is. Because they do four classes a year, and that class will start with 160 students. But that 160 came from a few thousand applicants. and then out of that 160 who start about 40 will go on to become. Is it just physical capabilities that determines whether somebody makes it or somebody doesn't or is there something else between the winners and the losers?

It's very mental. There's a base level of physical ability that's required, but here's the one thing that they're really testing for. And Stanford has had a long, it's like 20 plus year study that they've been doing because to the military, special operations, warrior is worth a lot of money. And they think like, man, how do we get more of these? And just caveat to that, one of the lines you hear in seal training is the master chief, he'll say on day one of training, he'll say seals aren't made, seals show up to be trained,

which I think is a peculiar line, understanding that we don't make you, you're a certain type of person that shows up here and will shape you into who you're supposed to be. but the program is screening for one very specific ability, and I know that you'll appreciate this. A lot of people can be confident. Confidence is great. When you have skills, when you have abilities, you'll be very confident. Confidence is, I made 100 free throws. I know I can make another one. But resilience is the, you would think it's similar to confidence. It's actually pretty close to the opposite. Resilience is I've missed 100 free throws in a row, but I know I can make the next one. And there's a big difference between resilience and delusion.

We've all met people that they think they're going to be something. They think they can become something that they're not. And it's really about what your identity is, what you have inside of you. When you're working for people to praise you, when you're working for people to lift you up, as soon as this is where people quit, Kevin. People quit because this is like the question I'll hear from tadpoles all the time about seal training. They want to know how hard it really is. They want me to like truly quantify it for them and they'll say, well, is it as hard as this?

Is it as hard as that? And here's the reason that they're asking. They're trying to get a good estimation of the difficulty so that they can determine if they could make it or not. For example, while I ran a 100 mile race, is it as hard as that? Because here's what people want. People want certainty. I'm willing to try seal training if I know that I could make it. And so if I ran 100-mileer, I could have certainty that I could make it through seal.

But the program puts you into this place where you'll never get an amount of certainty that you can make it. Most people quit not when they think they don't have a chance of success anymore. What seal training screens for is the type of person who will go all the way to the very end. It doesn't matter if I think I'm going to make it or not. I will give my best effort. I'll draw 100% of what's inside of me and put that into the program. So resilience is a type of person. If you understand what resilience is, it's the ability to return to form

very quickly. So when you're a resilient person, you can go through failure, you can go through mistakes, and you can snap back to who you are very quickly. So the line you said that we don't train SEALs, SEALs show up. Yeah. Right? Okay, it sounds like the old statement that says, leaders are not born, they're made, but the opposite of that, it's almost like leaders are born. They're not made. So it's a, we just say. You can you say that? It's like an innate something that people either have or they don't have? Yeah, I think it's an unknowable combination of both. That there, I can, you know, because I have a four-year-old daughter.

And I see qualities in her that I just, I'm like, man, there's things about me that she's just like me. But I also look back at my life and how I'm a product of some of the choices that I've made. And that's, and that's true. You know, you see it in twins. It's like you can have twins who one becomes very successful and one goes down a different road. So it is both a combination of what's in you, but then what you do with it. When it comes to leadership, the guys and women who made and became a seal, now in that group, some leaders kind of rise to the top and other ones just never experience leadership ability.

Yes or no? Say that question again? Okay, so you take all the people that actually made it, all the seals. part of your team. Some of them are natural leaders and have better leadership abilities and skills and qualities and others just are more followers. Yes or no? Oh, that's 100% true. There's there are two different types, like I could categorize it in a lot of ways, but there are two different types of seals. And they even say this in seal training. They say you're either smart or you're hard, right? You better be one or the other. If you're smart, you'll learn how to avoid

some of the pain. If you're not the smartest of guy, you better be willing to carry an extra sandbag. And so there's a combination of intellect and grit and resilience that makes a combination that's capable of doing that job. So now let's come out of seals into the real life. You train people today. You work with major corporations. You take people from all over the world and you train them to be an elite male, a masculine leader. How do you, how do you take? How do you take people from all over the world? And you train them to be an elite male, a masculine leader. how do you how do you take a person in the real world that maybe doesn't have it it's it's not innate to them and make them better yeah let's let's talk about maybe three different things number one I would talk about growth or the desire to grow and it really comes back to like when I coach people or I coach

organizations you'll know this Kevin it really is where the foundation of where it starts the question is what do you want? If you can't tell me what you want, I can't help you. And the people that I work with are people, this is a requirement for me. If you want me to coach you personally, if you want me to coach you as a team or an organization, I won't work with you unless you tell me you want to be the best version of you that you can possibly be. If I asked you about your own life, Kevin, like, and I said, how much of it do you want? Do you want 90% of it or do you want 100? I don't know how to work with you if you can't tell me you want 100. And one of the beliefs for my own life, this is something I heard all the time.

My parents would say this to me. They say you can have anything you want in life if you're willing to pay the price for it. So you've got to have a desire to grow and you've got to be willing to pay the price for it. That's growth. I would say is one of the first things I'm going to focus on with people. Number two is helping them really understand what their purpose is. And you can believe that a man chooses its purpose or you can believe that a purpose is assigned to you. The way that I look at it is I think it's a combination of two things.

There's a character in the Bible that I really love. His name's Joseph. And it just says that Joseph had a dream. Doesn't say that God gave him a dream, it just says Joseph had a dream. If you know his dream, his dream was essentially to be a leader. The dream was that his brothers would bow down to him. Well, he holds on to that dream for over 13 years, finally makes a dream. it into a great position after 13 years of terrible struggle. And then after another seven years,

his brothers come to him and they end up having to bow before him. It was a dream that he had, but it wasn't his purpose. And I'm telling this story very quickly. Joseph's actual purpose was to save all of the Israelites from starvation and famine. If you believe in God, you would look at his story and think, well, why didn't God just tell him that was what he wanted Joseph to do? He put this dream in his heart to be a leader. I think too many people have, you know, have a dream and they're afraid of it, that they bury their dream because they don't want to deal with it. What I want to see is people who will take the dream that they have and then also put it with what's in your hand. I think this is the other question of finding your purpose in

life. It's what's in your heart, right? That's what's your dream? And the other question is what's in your hand? When I started in real estate, Kevin, I had some really big dreams, but I had about a $750,000 small storage investment in front of me was the opportunity that was in my hand. That was my first deal. And I said, you know, here's where I want to go, but that door is not open to me. But I can do really well with what's in my hand. So when you'll put those things together, what's in your heart, what's in your hand, you can get a guy directed on his purpose. And the same way, you can do the same thing organizationally. The thing I think people miss organizationally is being part of something that's bigger than yourself. Back here is one of my friends. If you're

watching the video, my friend Charlie Keating, he died May 3rd, 2016 with a smile on his face. And that wasn't because his wife was going to receive a $400,000 death benefit. It wasn't about the money for him. He died with a smile on his face because he died having given his life for something that he thought was worthy, something that he believed in. And what I know for all of us is that we're going to die for something. Most of us won't die instantly. Like my friend Charlie, you won't die paying a direct price for what you're giving your

life to. Most of us will die slowly for something. And I want to give my life to something that I'd be willing to die in an instant for. Most people will live their life dying slowly for something they would never have given their life for. And so if you'll decide to be a part of something much bigger than yourself, that's when you can go way further than you would ever go on your own. Most people spend their lives either running from pain or running towards pleasure. And that's a loop, right? Running from pain or running towards pleasure. But the greatest life that you can live is running towards purpose, towards something that's

bigger than yourself. Corporations, when they do this, you can focus on the wrong thing, which is money, I'm very much about making money, but I believe money comes from adding value, money comes from solving great problems. If an organization seeks to make money, I have this illustration that I like to tell, which is an organization who wants to make money, is really just trying to build a castle. And if you want to build a castle, you can, but you'll pay for every single brick in the wall. You have to pay the laborers to do it. On the flip side, instead of trying to build a castle, you can talk about killing a dragon. And when you talk about killing a dragon, you know what will happen, you'll talk to people about that dragon. They'll say, I'm coming with you. That dragon

burned down my brother's farm. It becomes something that they want to fight with you. And in that case, in this illustration, you'll get a lot of free labor. Or really more practically, you'll get people who will give way more of themselves to killing a dragon than they would to building a castle. Do most of the people you work with not have a purpose or a mission in life? They kind of feel like a ship without a rudder? I would say the majority of people are searching for their purpose. And a lot of people, you talk to somebody, Kevin, whether you're sitting on an airplane or wherever you're at,

ask them about themselves. And the first thing they'll tell you is what they do. And most people do not have a job that they feel like lines up with what they're capable of as a person. So your purpose is really what is the thing that you're willing to give your life towards? And most people wouldn't do it for their W-2. So how do you help somebody find

that purpose. I get that question a lot. That's like, how do I find my mission? How do I find my purpose? What do you do when you're dealing with people like that? Yeah, it's the discovery of what's in your heart and what's in your hand. You've got to be honest with really the dream that's in your heart. I think a lot of people are afraid of that. Or if you're a follower of Christ, people are also, they think, well, like my heart is evil and sinful. Like, I can't trust that. And that's why I look at the story of Joseph. God used Joseph through what's in his heart. Now, you've got to have a desire to please God if that's what you believe. But it's what's in your heart and then what's in your hand. It's the question, this is a great story as well. If you know the story of the burning bush, God appears to Moses in the

burning bush and literally tells him, I'm going to use you to shepherd my people. It's a purpose statement. Like literally God appears to you and says, here's the purpose for your life. That's what most people would like, that that would happen. And Moses repuddles says, I don't think I'm the right. right guy. I murdered someone. I stutter. I don't speak well. You're talking to the wrong person. And instead of God just smacking him upside the head, he asks him a question. He says, what's in your hand? He's shepherd staff, right? And he says, I don't need you to tell me what you don't have. I need you to use the things that I've given you and I'll take care of the rest. And I think most people will either, they don't have a dream, they're afraid of their dream, or they have a dream.

They'll say, but I could never do that. And really the test is, what will you do with what you've been given to you, what's been given to you. I believe that stewardship is a principle in life, and those who do well with little are given more. And so if you want to grow into what your purpose is, I think a lot of people are just not in a place where they can even see it because they haven't been a good steward. You have to be the David who will work his way out of the shepherds fields, and then you become a king. But most people say, well, I don't want to be a shepherd, and so they never get out of that place. Do you find that men today are having a problem with expressing their own masculinity?

Oh, I think we live in a very effeminate society. That's why I decided to wear my pink today, just in your behalf. I thought, I'm gonna, I told John, I said, I'm gonna wear pink all day and see what he said. You look sharp, you won't catch me wearing pink, but you were... I was gonna wear my pink shirt in addition to the pink jacket and pocket silk, but I kept that back there. Hey, you know, I think, I look at people like Patrick Swayze.

Patrick Swayze made ballet look very masculine. So I think what's in you is going to come out of you. And likewise, you can't hold a gun and put on a tank top and that make you a man either. I think being a man is so much about what's inside of you. If I could talk about masculinity for a second. Yeah. One of my favorite poems really that's guided my life is Rudyard Kipling's If. And there's so many qualities in there.

He says, if you can be this, you'll be a man. And one of them in there, I think, is the quality of resists. He says, if you could lose it all and begin again, right? If you could lose it all in a game of chance. I think so many men, they're afraid to go all in in life because they think, well, if I lose it all, I'd be afraid to try again. One of my friends in the military who saved multiple people's lives, he got shot over seven times and thought he was bleeding to death. And as he's bleeding to death, dragged out to other people. He wasn't trying to say he was a medic. He looked at his injuries and said, there's no way I'm going to live. He actually did live. But that was his own self-assessment.

But even with the last effort that he had, he says, I'm going to save this other person's life. Their injury can be fixed. And so I think one of the greatest qualities of a man is giving all that you have to something. What a waste if you never pour you. Life is not about being preserved. I think our lives are about what do you want to give your life towards? Why do you think guys today aren't expressing or embracing their masculine energy? I think, well, there's a couple things. I think one, we have a very effeminate culture. I think I won't get into like some of the bigger things in culture of how they're necessarily

suppressing men, but I think we have an effeminate culture. And then I also think that men have been become afraid, right? we have a, I was joking with someone the other day, I don't mean this, I don't want this, but it was a joke. I said, you know, maybe we need another world war because men, and you go back a few generations and some men had been to war and they had different perspective, which is, by the way, I was going to say three things. We talked about growth. We talked about purpose. And the third thing is perspective. Perspective is the way that you frame your life. And if you get some pain, you get some grit, it'll give you perspective on growth. I think men aren't becoming men because they

haven't been through the things that transform them. Seal training, right? They said seals show it to be trained, but I wasn't a seal when they got there. They took away some of the things off me to help me grow into who I needed to become. Perspective is when you deal with a little bit of pain, well, the next time you have something that's painful, that doesn't seem so bad. It's like I've dealt with something worse. The reason seal training is so hard is that, when you go into combat, you think, well, I've already been through something that's worse than this, so this isn't so bad. Perspective, I think, is what will shift men into having a perspective of what do I want out of life, but also having a perspective of some difficult things. Really what I'm

saying, Kevin, is that I think most men today are soft. What should a guy do? Or what do you teach or or tell a guy to do to start releasing or embracing that masculinity that is inside them. Yeah. So what's one of the things that really puts a man in that position is having a family, right? Having a wife, having children, realizing I'm responsible for somebody besides myself. And it comes back to purpose. If a man thing, and this is really some of what's wrong with the Red Pill Society today, which is what a lot of people would consider masculine,

which is, hey, make as much money as you can, be with as many women as you can, make it about you. I don't think that's masculine. Here's what I think is the difference, and this is about being a man. Here's the difference between a barbarian and a warrior. Barbarians are people who are strong, people who are tough. You've probably met plenty of barbarians in business.

These are guys who have power and the ability to take. The difference between a barbarian and a warrior is warriors's fight for others. right i think it's it's what uh fighting for this country meant meant to me i felt like i was born with a certain capacity an ability to do a job that many people can't do uh but i wanted to do that not to show how strong that i was i wanted to do it for all the people who i knew couldn't do it i have to do this for them and in the same way that a man uh grows when he has a wife when he has children it's having a sense of duty and purpose which will make you grow into the best version of yourself men are acting like little boys because they're letting their wives take care of them. Men are acting like little boys

because they have no sense of duty in culture. When you deal with guys and you do workshops, you do personal coaching, you do keynote addresses, you work with corporations, and you do massive amounts of awesome training, really helping people apply some of the principles so that they can achieve more in life, be happier, get more out of life, and have a more successful daily living experience. What's one thing that you find is common as an outpoint, something that's needs fixing, if you will, in most people? And you don't work with just guys. You work with women as well, right? On a personal coaching side, I only work with men. Now, corporately, I end up working with a lot of ladies. Correct. So you see both because obviously women can be, and there's plenty of great awesome women

leaders as well. But with the guys, we'll deal with the guys. What's the one thing or one thing that you say is common that needs to be addressed in guys? Yeah, I would say with all men, like nearly all men, they have a little bit of an identity issue. They struggle with who they really are. And the choices that you make are going to come out of your identity. How you deal with struggle is going to come out of your identity. And this comes back to some of that, like, identity is formed on your, your beliefs. Let me talk about beliefs for a second. Beliefs are, and I'll give a definition to it, because it's important to understand. Beliefs are the thing that you know are true, but can't prove. I would bet you, I don't know you on this level, Kevin, but I would bet that you believe that

you're lucky. I would bet that you believe that good things happen to you. Now, we could probably pull up data from your life where bad things happen to you, and we could probably pull up data from your life where good things happen to you. But it's which one of beliefs and story is really about what facts do you align with? What do you believe about yourself? And men have a very weak identity because they've focused on the wrong things. Right. I had a father and again, this is one of the things that's wrong with men and wrong with culture is a lack of strong fathers. I had a great father. And my father was always telling me, this is who you are. My father was my last name is Uncle Bach. My father would always say, this is what Uncle Bob.

do. This is the way that Uncle Box are. He didn't say that's good, that's bad. He said, this is who you are. And so when you have an identity, you know what this allowed me to do? Kevin was when I went into seal training, my instructors would say, you're, you know, you're doing a pretty poor job. Some of my peers might be frustrated with me and say, you don't have a place here. You don't belong here. And that's a judgment against who I am. About because I had a father who spoke so much life into me. Essentially, I could say on the inside, well, maybe you're right, but I trust my dad more than I trust you. I knew who I was. And one of the things that every man is struggling with is he's not really sure who he is. Most men try to find their identity and their performance. Most men try to

find their identity and what people say about them. But you've got to have your anchor of the things that I know who I am. I know what my character is. I know who I am on the inside that nobody can take away from me. And do you do that by looking at some things in your past? I have a friend who's named Mike Siegel. He's the 10-time world champion pool player, winningest player of all time, youngest guy to be inducted in the Hall of Fame, arguably, and he's been called the greatest living player in the world. He's won more tournaments than anybody else. I was at a world champion straight pool tournament with him where Ephraim Reyes played him and played the most incredible shot ever. Mike played a great safety, and I was telling Mike this. I said, Mike, remember when we were at

the Empire Hotel and you played this great safety. Effron didn't have a shot. He hit four rails, made the ball, broke up the pile, ran out and you lost the game. And he said, I don't remember that. He says, but I do remember when I was down zero games to nine against Johnny Archer and I came back and won 11 to 9. And let me tell you how I did that. And I'm like, wait, whoa, don't you remember the Ephron. No, I don't remember that. I have no idea what you're talking about. Is that kind of what you're talking about? That's, that's exactly right. there's facts and facts are facts but a story is the order and priority that you give to the facts think about a receiver in an NFL game he could catch five out of ten passes now depending on

the story he tells himself that can be a good game or a bad game the fact is he caught five out of ten he could have caught the five most important ones and scored touchdowns with those passes or he could feel like he dropped the five most important passes right so there's facts but but then a story is the order and priority that you give to them. And for a lot of people, it's understanding, what's the story that you believe about your life and what's the story that you're telling? All of that comes back to an identity.

And if you think that you are a loser, you'll prove yourself right. So is one of the techniques going back, because we all have losses, oh, I struck out in Little League, and I lost a game and everyone told I was a loser. I failed the math test. I got sent back.

I couldn't go on to the next grade. We all have these experiences that we, you know, focus on or get traumatized by, but we also have some wins in our life. So are you saying that the difference is like Michael Jordan. I mean, he made the winning shot more than anybody else in history at the time, but he also missed the winning shot. He has a famous quote. It's a, I won't get the number right. I'll be close. But he said, you know, 26 times I have missed the game winning shot.

and that's why I succeed, right? Because he's moved on from those, right? So Michael Jordan has some of the same story. But you're getting at a really important part of this, right? There's a, what nearly all humans, not every human, but nearly all human who has a functional brain has a strong defense against delusion, right? I don't want to fool myself, right? And know you've ever worked with someone who's delusional, they're hard to be around. You're trying to give them like, hey, man, you don't really come across really well. Or, you know, you think you're really great at sales. You're not. right you don't want to work being around people that are delusional it's difficult they can't see themselves the way that they really are and so let me tell you about the difference between resilience which is a

great quality the ability to stand up to failure and continue to go again and delusion which is I can't see myself the way that I really am the difference between delusion and resilience is pride pride it's really it's about what's inside of you it's where's this coming from now so someone who has humility and is resilient at the same time can acknowledge the facts of I did not perform well, I did not train well, I dropped the past, but I know that I can catch the next one. Versus delusion is prideful, does not want to acknowledge their deficiencies and just keeps, it's shouting affirmations in the mirror and telling yourself how good you are because you need to feel good. Does that make sense? It's really where it seems like there's a balance there

and that little distinction seems to make all the difference. It's about, it's about what's inside of you. Now, you use the word elite male. Is that correct? Yeah. So what's the definition of that? Because a lot of guys, I like that. And John and Tre were like going, elite male.

We like that. So what's an elite male? I would tell you, I'll tell you where it starts. It starts to become an elite man. And, you know, you may have different ideas, different dreams of what an elite man is, but I can tell you some things that every elite man has. Every elite elite man is a great leader of himself. If you can't lead yourself, well, hold on, don't say that one more time. And the reason why I want you to say this is because there's a lot of people that are watching

that listen to my audio course, Patton on Leadership. And I, one of the things I say there, I love patent on leadership. Yeah, remember the books. I did a whole audio series on it. And I say specifically, you have to be a leader of yourself. That's like the main thrust, because you might not be in a position where you're leading other people, but you have to be a leader of yourself. So carry on because you're right in my wheelhouse here. Love it. I love it. So to be in what I think every elite person has, every single elite person I've ever met leads themselves very well. Say that one more time. I didn't quite hear it. I'm sorry. I'm a triple death in this. Every elite person leads themselves well. And I'll use one of my favorite quotes

on leadership, similar to Patton, but one of my favorite quotes on leadership to express what self-leadership is. Eisenhower said that leadership is getting people to do what you want, when you want them to do it, and they want to do it. And the want is the magic part, right? You can force someone to do something, but that's not leadership, that's command. It can be management, it can be abuse, it can be manipulation, it can be a lot of things. But leadership is to be able to get somebody to want to do something. Kevin, a lot of people look at me and they're like, oh, Navy SEAL guy, you're so disciplined. And I tell people all the time, I'm not as disciplined as you would think I am, but what I am is very sure of what I want and who I want to be. I know what my purpose is.

When you talk to certain people about losing weight, fitness is something we all have to deal with. Fitness can be very difficult for you. For some people, the way they look in the mirror just doesn't motivate them enough. But I could talk to a woman who's out of shape. And if she had been through an issue where she struggled to save her children's lives because of her lack of fitness, her mindset around fitness has changed dramatically. Most people don't have a discipline problem, Kevin. They have a purpose problem. If I asked you this, if I ask you, Kevin, do you want to get up with me tomorrow morning

at 4 a.m. and run a marathon? The answer would probably be no. I'm sure you're in shape, but you're probably not a 4 a.m. marathon person, right? And if I told you you had to do that on your own, that might be a challenge. be a challenge for most people. I don't want to get up tomorrow at 4 a.m. and run a marathon. That would require a lot of discipline. But if I told you, if I told you that if you don't get up tomorrow at 4 a.m.

and run a marathon, something terrible is going to happen to your family. Most of the people in your audience could do it. Right. And so it's not a discipline problem. It's a purpose problem. And my ability to lead myself very well comes from what Eisenhower talks about. Can you get them to want to do it? I get myself to want to do the right things because I focus on the right things.

wherever you focus, what you think about, that's where your life is going to go. So I don't sit here and like mentally pump iron and talk about how tough I am. I think about what matters most to me and that's how I lead myself. So I could talk a long time about self-leadership, but I would say self-leadership is the thing that elite people do very well. You mentioned something that's an axiom. We're either motivated to avoid pain or motivated to gain pleasure. Yes.

But you pointed out something brilliantly that said neither is really the major one. It's to be on purpose, right? So, yes. So most people are familiar with Maslow's hierarchy of needs, right? Maslow's hierarchy of needs, you know, hey, at the bottom, if I, if I hold you underwater, you will be more motivated than ever in your life to get out from underneath that water so you can breathe again, right? You'll fight very hard for it until you get it.

I've never met anybody to this day who has a lifetime supply of oxygen bottled up in their basement. They breathe in what they need and they don't search for anymore. The same is true with water and food. If you're very thirsty, you'll fight hard for water. If you're very hungry, you'll fight hard for food. But 100 cheeseburgers isn't much better than 20 cheeseburgers, right? There's only so much that you can consume.

And money, as I'm sure you know, Kevin, is much the same way. And all of these levels and even in relationships and feeling a sense of love and belonging, all the things that are in Maslow's first four levels, he writes it. If you read Abraham's whole paper, he writes about this. all the things in the first four levels, the more you get of them, the less you desire of them. Right? So the more air I get, the less I desire it. More food I get, less I desire it. More money, more relationships I get, the less I desire it. But his top part of the pyramid, what he calls self-actualization, what I'm talking about in purpose today, he says that the more you get of it,

the more you desire it. And when you look at people in life who have found some success and it feels like they just keep accelerating. They keep going faster and faster. How does he just keep winning? How does he just keep growing on to the next level? It's because they've gotten into this category where they've tasted something that the more I get it, that the more I want of it. And that is the infinite path. That's what I'm talking about. Instead of running from pain, if you're running from pain, if you run from a grizzly bear, and you can't outrun a grizzly bear, they run like 35 miles an hour, but we'll just pretend he's injured and you outran him. Eventually, when you did outrun him two miles later, you're lost. You have no idea where you are. You've just been running from something. And chasing pleasure is the same thing. It'll take you to somewhere

you didn't want to go and then you start asking the question, right? Like you took the job for the money and then you ask yourself the question many have asked, how did I get here? Why am I in this place? But when you're going after purpose, that's something that you can go after for forever and you'll continue to grow along that path. And what's the difference between purpose or mission, sometimes that word use, and the dream? You know, that big thing that is so big it would almost take three lifetimes to accomplish your vision, your dream. And you hear people like Stephen Jobs, they have a dream. You know, people have a dream.

And that's what they, seems to motivate them beyond just attaining things or acquiring things. It's bigger than themselves. Is that what you're talking about? Yes. Well, let me talk. Let's talk. People use a lot of, and I know you know this because you're in the leadership speaking and teaching space.

People use a lot of different language around vision and mission. I want to share my terms with you first. So vision is the big thing, it's the way that I see it. If we talk about what's behind me, the American flag, and the military, the vision was protect and defend freedom and democracy. It's the big thing. It's what it's really all about. And then the mission, you know, the missions that I would go on is, hey, you know,

go here, rescue this person. Go here, destroy this target. Go here, kill this person. The mission was a really clear statement where you read it and it's like no one was wondering, what does that mean. We read the mission statement. Everyone knew exactly what it meant. And many of those missions wasn't necessarily something worth dying for, but the mission served

the vision, and the vision absolutely was. The vision is what was worth dying for. And we could see how the clear mission statement, the mission served the vision. We'll talk about somebody that a lot of people know, Elon Musk and Tesla. So most people don't know the vision and mission statement of Tesla. Vision statement of Tesla is to accelerate the world's transition to renewable energy. It says nothing about a car. If you know Elon, and a lot more people know him at this point, he cares a lot about advancing

human civilization and getting humankind off of earth. And he says, the vision is to accelerate the world's transition to renewable energy. Because if you're a nerd, I don't look like a nerd, Kevin, but I am one. If you know the Sarnag scale, which is this scale of a human civilization's ability to harness its sun and capture battery power, I know Elon thinks about these things. He knows for us to grow as a civilization, we've got to make more bad. batteries, right? And so the mission statement of Tesla is to make the most compelling electric car of the 21st century. Let's make something cool. If it's cool, they'll buy it. If they buy it,

we can make more batteries. If we can make more batteries, we can advance as a human civilization. So missions are these like clear targets thing. I can see what this is, right? And here's how it serves the greater thing. And I've got alignment in my life where I've got a lot of different missions, but they're all serving the same great vision. I'm going to give you a real curbball question. And you may not know the answer to this, but I'm curious about your perspective. There's a lot of women out there

watching this show, and they're probably thinking, and I really wish I had an elite man in my life as opposed to the guys I've been dating or happen to be in a relationship with. Is there any

advice you can give to a woman? Yes. Thank you for us. A great question. I'll give some general advice and then I'll give some specific advice. General advice. So I had a mentor who tell me if you're the one that's bringing things into the relationship, you're the leader in that relationship. And the truth is we all lead in like different zones. And the SEAL teams, they taught us to this mindset of ready to lead, ready to follow. In the absence of leadership, I'll take charge. So anywhere someone's not leading, I'm going to help lead in this way. And I'm the leader in my home, but there's plenty of things that my wife leads in.

And in every relationship, there's things that the women lead and there's things that the men lead. And if you're leading people, something that I've learned is don't treat people the way that they are, treat them the way that you want them to be. And where if your man is not who you want him to be, you might be tempted to talk down to him or call out the things that you don't like in him. And there absolutely needs to be a true conversation. Let's talk about where there's some deficiencies. but also speak life into him.

Speak the best into him. My wife is how, I was strong when I met my wife, but she's helped make me stronger. And that's a leadership principle to speak life into people instead of to speak negativity into them. Treat them the way you want them to be. Right?

I talk to my kids the same way. So that's some, you know, some general wisdom on leading people and helping people grow to the next level. And then for women with men, other wisdom I would give is find the places, and this is, you know this from business, Kevin, right?

I'm in the middle of a large startup journey right now and take people who are really great at something and put them in the thing that they're great at. And I would say with a woman and her man, there's things that a woman's really great at. You bring that to the relationship. And then highlight the things that the man is really great at and let him bring those things.

And don't ask him to be the things that you already are. I'm not trying to make my wife like me. My wife and I are about as opposite as it gets. She's like all smiles and fun and talks all the time at the party. I'm like serious. I'm not angry, but people think I'm angry when they look at my face. I'm just focused on something, right? I actually will smile if you talk to me, but I'm basically the opposite of my wife.

I'm not trying to make her like me. She's all the things that I'm not. And so I let her have her strength and I have mine. Okay. And gives the advice to the guys who are watching who are thinking, maybe I'm not the elite man yet. What's one thing that they can do to kind of start elevating themselves? What I would say to every man is that there's way more inside of you than you think there is.

I've helped, I've done seal training with a lot of men. I also had a bunch of guys from Wall Street and Goldman Sachs come out and do seal for a day training. I lead a group where I speak to over 400 men every Saturday in this one group that I lead Kevin. I get to work with a lot of people. And I've never met somebody that I looked at them. And I said, wow, you've just completely maximized your potential. I've not met one yet.

I've met a lot of people and every person, even people that I look up to, I see how there's more in them. And so if you'll see a little bit more in yourself and decide I'm going to grow into that, that's when the world becomes your oyster. as it's grit by Carol Dweck, right? It's understanding, or sorry, growth mindset by Carol Dweck, understanding that I can grow, that I can get better. And so I would say to every man, stop settling.

Garrett, I can keep you on for another two hours. You are fantastic. Everything you said was brilliant. There are so many nuggets of gold in everything that you presented here today. Our viewers and listeners are going to really benefit. Thank you so, so much. much for being my guest. I appreciate it very, very much, and I'm looking forward to having you one again very soon. It was a pleasure. Thank you for having me, Kevin. If you love this show,

I know you're going to get great value out of my episode, what men do wrong in relationships and what women do wrong in relationships from a man's point of view. Prepare to get your buttons pushed and also gain some potentially life-changing information. And don't forget, if you're enjoying our shows, subscribe. It's an easy, no-cost way to support us. Also, check out my new website, Kevin Trudeau.com. Guys, guys, pay attention. Women, leave the room.

This is about men. What men, every man, does wrong in a relationship.