The Kristian Harloff Show - John Wick Chapter 4 REVIEW! & Shazam Fury Of The Gods REVIEW! Are they good?

Episode Date: March 16, 2023

JOIN THE WEBSITE FOR FREE: http://www.thekristianharloff.com Shazam Fury Of The Gods and John Wick Chapter 4 are two highly anticipated sequels. Are they any good? Kristian saw Shazam and Roxy and Kristian saw John Wick 4. The discussion will go on! Roxy gives dating updates, Kristian's trip to NY and Roxy has TV picks for us. Brett is also here! #JohnWick4 #shazam #furyofthegods #DC #action  MANSCAPED: 20 percent off use the code BIG THING at http://www.manscaped.com/bigthing OUR MERCH STORE IS LIVE: https://www.teepublic.com/stores/the-big-thing-kh-channel?ref_id=27393 FOLLOW KRISTIAN + FIND HIM ON CAMEO https://cameo.com/kristianharloff https://twitter.com/kristianharloff https://facebook.com/harloff https://instagram.com/kristianharloff AMAZON WISHLIST: https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/1KPH42T0TP0PG?ref=cm_sw_em_r_un_un_djbxgIW5ZQMMg SCHMOEDOWN ARCHIVE CHANNEL: https://www.youtube.com/c/TheMovieTriviaSchmoedownArchives Ask Kristian questions for next time! https://facebook.com/harloff Become a Patreon of the Schmoedown: http://patreon.com/schmoedown OTHER GREAT CONTENT: REVIEWS https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLSJdE28YyUT368qY7sfE0nKE4c04CqGvu TV REVIEWS https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLSJdE28YyUT1LU-t2Z9AD5UJDiWW4pS_E STAR WARS SHOW https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLSJdE28YyUT0XmfpbblkF9PY7uO2qhbN6 THE BIG THING PODCAST https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLSJdE28YyUT3KAwbzDsv6mdR-gwUiydQg

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At MSC Industrial Supply, we have more than 75 years of experience improving metalworking operations from start to finish, providing the latest tools from trusted brands and innovative solutions that drive productivity and reduce costs. From planning to milling to finishing and more, MSC metalworking specialists are ready to help you every step of the way. How can we make you better today? Learn more at MSCDirect.com. Hey, come on, Nate. How did this happen? I know.

Well, we, I don't think we've ever really, like us here. I don't think we ever really crossed paths. I mean, you. A ton. It is crazy. I mean, we have in the fact of, like, I think, work, but it's not a ton. I don't know, just, like, around. I feel like we never crossed past, like, festivals.

Like, I stopped doing festivals a long time ago, I feel like. Because I was just like, why am I flying to Canada to get paid? $1,000 to bomb for my agents. Like, what am I doing? Like, I stopped doing festivals, and I feel like that's when you, comics that live in different places really, like, kind of meet.

Yeah. Yeah, it's the best. I mean, that is the fun part of festivals. That's the lure to go back to them is because you're, like, you're like, you're like, I mean, just all the people that you don't get to see anymore. Right, right.

And so you see them in. It's just kind of a trip. Like, have you ever just run into a comedian that you've never met in an airport? Oh, yeah. And you, like, you're like, and you start talking as if you've known each other for 30 years. Yeah, you really

do just jump into it. Because it's because you've both been doing the same thing. Like I know me and Janus, I know you The best. Yeah, me and Janus started together. Save my life quite literally. Broke up a people fight that I was in the middle of. Oh, wow. Yeah.

I saved my nose, like nostril and mouth. You were just in the thick of it? I was in the thick of it. Yeah. He was staying with me and I had two pipples that were going at each other over like a puppy, like a rescue situation. Yeah. And he's the only man I think I've ever had in my house that was wearing sneakers. He wears sneakers

until he goes to bed. There's no flip-flops. There's no barefoot. There's no socks. And at like midnight, I'm in a pit bull fight. He hears it. Sprints I mean, like breaks it up. Like saves my life. Any other man would have been in like, I don't know, Tivas or would have not been able to do it. Yeah. He's just like a,

man in ways that I love him so much as a brother, but like in that moment he made me realize I think I cannot be with someone unless they wear sneakers. Like a man has to wear sneakers at all times. I don't know if this is, I don't know. I would think that would describe you as a person is someone that would be in a pit bull fight at midnight. And I don't, and I'm not trying to be anything. But if someone, if they go, what is Whitney like? I'd like, yeah, you know.

I wasn't fighting the pit bulls to be fair. I mean, just near it, in it. I mean, just you, if a pit bull fighting is having at midnight, I would imagine you're, you're either in it or you're around it or you can get to it. So, Janus. Me and Yonis started together. That's so wild. Yeah. We've been, me and Yonis, she had a podcast a long time ago, back from a podcast where before they, before they.

They were really something. Yeah. And we had one called It Could Be Better. And with Chris Laker. And be honest, we never come to the podcast. Because Janice, this is Janice, Morisa is happening. And he's selling out, like, got them. I mean, I did just listen to the episode of your podcast where you returned after being gone for a while.

Yeah. Well, it was, it was because he, like, Janus would like, I would tell him, I was like, we should, I was like, you got it, because I even then, you know, like podcasts were like, I think Maronette is, but it was like, they weren't all going crazy yet, but it's like, it was like, you know, in New York, it was still like, a lot of New York comics, if I'm a certain podcast, they're like, just do comedy, dude, you loser. Can I ask you a wild question? Like, what makes you decide to have a podcast with a certain person?

Because I know a lot of people that are really good friends, comics that don't have podcasts together and a lot of friends that, um, comics that had them and it like ruined their friendship. Like, how did you, like, how do you pick the person? person you're going to do. It is like kind of more serious than getting married. I mean, yeah, it is. Well, we were just, I mean, we're very close and

we were very different. I'm from the south. He's from, my podcast called Nate Land and that's coming from that's a Janus name. Yonis came up with that because he would say whenever he leaves New York, it's Nate Land, it's just dudes with hats. And so he would do, that's where Nate Land

came from. Meanwhile, Janus's sunburned at all times. Oh. It's like just try a hat. Just try it. See what happens. They're honest that I always say because he would do, he always talked like, I don't have any culture and all this stuff.

And he'd make fun of that. But then I was like, but he lived three blocks from his mom. Like, you know, it's like, you're like, oh, I mean, what culture do you have? You've lived in Brooklyn your whole life. You, just because other people, I get like a lot of cultures live in Brooklyn, but you've never really left this area. And you live in a woman. What could she possibly teach you?

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Then he moved to Miami Ellis. But we started when we did it, he was like starting to do Morisa. And it was like, I knew you had to commit to it. It's like you got to be able to, you got to, you need to have, it needs to come out every week at this time. And you got to, you got to do that kind of stuff.

And he just wasn't, he didn't feel like, you know, I think it was just hard. And like, no, you know, it was like, who knew what these podcasts were going to, what it was going to eventually become. Hello, this show is brought to you by Better Help. It's so brutal, most therapy that I had gone to before BetterHelp. Why would you put yoga magazines on a coffee table in a therapist's office? You want me just look at people that are more flexible and thinner and happier than me? Is that helpful? It seems like you have some eating issues.

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That's BetterHelp, H-E-L-P.com slash Whitney. This will change your life. I love you guys, betterhelp.com slash Whitney. I remember moving New York and people didn't have their driver's license. And so like you could, you go on a gig and you're like, Or you go drive and they're like, I don't know how to drive. You know, and you're, like, there's people that would be like 40. You don't have a driver's license and you're like, what?

Andrew Schultz, every time he comes to my home, it's like a 40-minute saga at the front gate because he can't pull the, I have like a call box and he can't get the car up to the call box. To do it. To put his, to hit the buttons. It's like a whole. And then we went to like somewhere where he had to get a ticket out of a machine to go in a garage. And it was like a whole, like New Yorkers, like, I think you guys think you're a little tougher than you are. You know what I mean?

Like I just. Yeah, they don't do. Well, they have, you get in a car. You're getting into things. Yeah. You're getting into things that move you around. Yeah. Yeah.

You're not driving. Yeah. That's really interesting. I think New York's trying to, I feel like they're going to try to get to where there's no driving there. Or like it's just cabs or it's like. Interesting. I think the cabs have gone away. I feel like that's really.

sad. Yeah. You know? Well, they got to adjust them and they got the Ubers and then cabs would get. You're getting fights with cabs or I remember because I live in Queens and so if you land in LaGuardia and take a cab home, they would be furious because they wanted to go to Manhattan. And so then you would, I mean, it would be the most uncomfortable.

But you tell them once you got in, don't you have to tell them before you get in? Because in New York. Yeah, they know, but they know. But like in the, but when you get out of the airport, like the cabs are in that line so you go I need a cab and you go in the line and then they just put you in the cab and when you tell that cab I'm going to Queens

he's not happy I don't know how I learned this I think it's because I think it's at four o'clock the cab switch over right so the ones that are going uptown going downtown at like four o'clock they're about to be off duty you can only be going they'll only pick you up if you're going downtown and then vice versa right for some reason

I don't know how I learned maybe I was like burned in this way where I say where I'm going before I even get in. Yeah. I thought that was the thing. Yeah. So then Zia, I like doing that. Did you just so I want you to wrap your head around what's happening. Like I want everybody to know. I need you to think this over before I get in your, I need you to make sure, um, you can do this. I don't want to be uncomfortable. That's because I, that's, like, I mean, I remember getting in with them. Because in the Queens thing, because they want to make the money to go to the Manhattan, but then, uh, and they end up giving

them something that they can come back through. But they would just be. so mad and they would make you feel it and you're like are you mad at me because i don't i'm not a trillionaire that can live in manhattan right right right right right you think i'd even be in this cat yes wouldn't you yes you so you want me to be an asshole that can afford to live in manhattan yeah yeah you're like what do you want me to do at least just just so you know next year i will have your job probably like we'll be in the like yeah i'm coming i'm trying to get your job yeah i'll How about this? Next time when you need, I'll drive you next time when I'm in the line. I would do a car service, like even like just a Queens, like a local car service.

Yeah. Just to avoid the stress of like, I, because it happened so much that I was like, I just don't want to deal with like the guy mad at me because I don't live far enough from the airport. What's up? Zuck, Zuck. Can we rock? Is that a song? Thousands of medical professionals are on Zock to help you. They're there to listen like a friend. Give you the expert. care you need. There are better ways to get the answers you want and the care you deserve from trusted professionals and not random people on the internet. You find the doctor that's right for you completely seamless, quality care you need and just a few taps away in the Zoc Doc app. Zocococ is the only

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However, I just want to say I am, I am like wildly, like watching your last special. It made me like rethink everything. I was like, why am I, like, are you ever, do you ever get a place into a place as a performer where you're doing something and then you see someone great in your field do something and you're like, hold on, wait, let's, like, can I start over? Do you know what I mean?

And your work really makes me do that because you, you take very, for lack of a better word, you know, I think it's an incredible skill to be, You have to be incredibly smart to be simple sometimes. And I think comics, like, sometimes our instinct is overcomplicate things. And we miss what's truly interesting about it because we're trying to think of the most, like, cerebral thing. But the most clever take is just saying the simplest thing that everybody acknowledges. Like, did you in the beginning ever struggle with overcomplicating things before you got to just, like, the gem that you were trying to, like, mine out?

Yeah. Yeah, you think of it. Well, you always think they got it like the audience is not dumb. And that's where you can talk about the L.A. and the South, the middle of the country thing. So it's like, and it happens with TV and you watch TV and they think the audience is dumb. And so they think they can't. Well, are they going to get, is Middle America going to get that? I'm like, yeah, I think they're going to get it.

They all went to, they're as smart as you. Like they're going to get anything that you put out. And so you got to always, you know, it's like when you go. to Canada and you're like, are they going to understand Walmart? You're like, yeah, dude, they're going to know at Walmart. And you're going to look stupid. Yes, correct. Trying to go.

I love it. So Walmart, you guys know Walmart, right? Yeah. You guys are. It took a store that people are. In this third world country I'm in. You guys have heard of Walmart, right? Yeah.

Yeah. So that's what, it's like you got to do that stuff. And that's the part that separates. Like, you watch a lot of TV now. And the one thing that helped me is I was always like, I'm being from Tennessee. When I moved to New York, it was like, I never tried. to like, I don't know, I just, I love being from Tennessee. I loved being at home.

I loved, like, I didn't, you know, I was maybe naive. Tennessee has magic, magic, magic, magic. It's great. And I was maybe very naive to, like, I just never thought anything bad about it or whatever. But I loved New York and I loved all that stuff. But it was, you know, like you watch TV and all this stuff. You just get to where, like, they're making shows and they're doing stuff. And you're like, they're just not making it for the people that are in Tennessee.

They're making it. You can tell now, too, that they're making it. or like, well, y'all just live here. And you're only talking about your circumstances. And then so then that's where stuff becomes. Being relatable is like something that's kind of being forgot about. I mean, they're, you know, I always thought about it. When I worked, before I started a comedy, I read water meters, like at, for Wilson County.

I remember a guy that we worked with that didn't know, like, if you could, he thought you could drive to Hawaii. Like, just never, he would think that. But then before he got to. to work. It was like he'd be like, oh yeah, our, you know, our cow had babies this morning. So, and then he like did that this morning. It's a different kind of wisdom. And he could like live off the grid. And you're like, so it's like a guy like that, they're like, oh, he could live off the grid. He doesn't know when driving Hawaii, but like. When Putin hits the new button, you're like,

yo, what are you doing? Yeah, yeah. Do you want to hang out? Go to his house. And he knows. That's the smartest stuff. That's the craziest stuff ever that he knows. Because that's like, I, I'm obsessed with like how like to be a scientist you have to like pay three hundred thousand dollars to go to a university that is just give telling you the science that was true whatever so if a scientific study comes out today right that means it was true three years ago right because that's when the study was done it took this long to put it together so scientific studies i feel like are always like three years behind on some level you know what i mean and no one i just feel like if you're a scientist, like, is it smart to spend $300,000 to learn how to be a...

Like, I just seem kind of like it blows my mind because I think that like there's a way to be sort of like a common sense scientist. You know, a lot of the people I know that just have like the wisdom that only comes with age and like Southern wisdom. I'm like you're so much smarter than any of... Well, you need like both. You need like that 300,000 person to maybe go fact check it. But then you're also like, can we have a person in front that's like, yeah, yeah, like this is how it is? And then we're going to live life because I believe it's this. And then this person can make sure, like to, it's like a backstop.

You know that most people now, they don't know that you can get tap water and leave it out for 24 hours and then you can drink it. Like little things like that, you know? Like, remember, did you ever used to get goldfish and you'd have to leave the water out for 24 hours? And then it was clean? Was that real? I don't know. I've never heard of that. Like, just like little things.

Like the other day, I sprouted peanuts. And everyone was like, in Hollywood, the most successful people I know, they're like, how did you do that? Did you like, did someone come teach you how to do it? I was like, not it. It's like a pretty easy thing. Like people in Hollywood, they have a person. They're like, well, my bee guys coming over to clean out the high. I'm like, why don't you just learn how to do it?

When you get so much money, you just become disconnected from any sort of reality. And like, so you don't, I would always say you should have normal people in your life. and like when you're out and when you don't you got to have like you know your friends from high school you need your if you're going to go uh you're gonna go to Puerto Rico tomorrow you need someone that goes I mean I have to work every day so I don't know what you even that's my favorite and you you got to like someone that's reminding that like you they're not living the lifestyle or like even have the free not the money but even just the freedom like you know a comics like we're used to you know being like all right let's go get breakfast at noon and then or 11 or noon and then you Because our lifestyles, just our times are like this. And you need someone that's like, if you ask me at breakfast at 11, they're like, I mean, they're eating lunch.

And they're like, no, dude, I woke up at like five. I also love it in L.A. work starts at 10. Yeah, across the board. Like business work. People ask me, they're like, how did you get your success? I'm like, I literally just start work at like 8.30. Yeah. So everyone else starts at 10.

So I have like literally 15 years of an extra hour a day. So that's just how I got ahead. I just worked an eight-hour day in Hollywood instead of like a two-hour day I mean because people here they start work at 10 they go to lunch at noon it's literally the hours are less

than like a doctor's office you know like doctor's office they're like we're open from like 730 to 8 30 and then 11 to 11 30 and then like 3 to 4 and like that's it you know and then you're in a voice green like that's the same as Hollywood it's a miracle actually anything gets done

because it's like there was a they take off for every holiday too I mean every holiday But it's not even about holidays anymore. It's like I'm taking two weeks off for a silent retreat. I have to do bonding leave with my new rescue puppy. Like it's like I have acupuncture. Like it's like not even holidays anymore at this point.

Because also, by the way, these are the very people that are trying to cancel holidays. Yeah. They're like Columbus Day's over. Flag Day toxic. Like we've got to get rid of, you know, whatever, Robert Ely League Day. I don't know what other days are getting canceled. Everybody said Robert Lee Day. Yeah.

That's it. You're like, when there's a Southern day, you're like, well, that's a pretty big day for us. You know, Robert Lee Day. It's every day, man. But it's just like there's some, like, I think Martin Luther King, he cheated on his wife. Are we still allowed to celebrate this? And you're like, y'all are the people that like leave at 2.15, you know, for a six-hour lunch. But there is a, there was a, like, a thing that came out that was like about how few days you work in people in Hollywood actually work.

Because they leave basically after Thanksgiving, what you're not supposed to celebrate. because we slaughter the natives but we will take off two weeks. Yeah, they do leave after the day. We're going to publicly say on Instagram like this holiday is toxic and this is disgusting and I will be out of the office

for two and a half weeks because I'm going to... And it's good mid-January for the... And then they go straight to Sundance and then it's the Oscars and then it's San Sebastian and then it's Berlin and then it goes out

they're never in the house. Well and that's where too the money aspect too is where everybody gets money this money is like made up into like it's just this ungodly amount of money it costs to make these things

and then the money is just spread like who knows where it goes and all this stuff yeah I know where it goes yeah yeah like it's it's pretty wild I mean it's it's a trip I want to ask you though are you ever like actively trying to turn your brain off

or do these like observations do they kind of hit you and creep up on you like do you know right away say you're at like you know cracker bear whatever you go by the candle section and you're like, okay, this is going to be the thing, you know? Are you actively, I'm going to admit it, this is embarrassing. I feel like I am always looking.

Yeah, yeah. I'm never like, oh, here's a candle. I'm going to buy this candle. I'm always like, this, okay, like, I'm always digging for something. Yeah, yeah. It never turns off. It's exhausting. And it's, it just, especially right now, because the special is out, so then I had to come up with a new hour.

And so you're just now just like, you get in a panic mode. And, but I don't, there's, I don't have a system. I don't know what the system is. I wish there was a system that I could rely on. Like I'm, I, it's just pure panic of like, you know, every time is, I don't know if I know how to do this. I don't. Well, but I mean, I truly don't know. You're like, I don't know how to do this.

Like I don't, you know, because it's hard to be like. Well, you're like, I knew how to do that hour. I don't know if I know how to do my six. Another one. Another one. You're like another one. What am I going to talk about? Because, yeah.

I think I really like to, like, after my fourth special, I took, like, six months off, at least performing, because I was like, I just want to get, I want to, I just want to make sure I'm not, like, doing an impression of myself, because I kind of always feel like by the time you shoot the hour, you're sort of already grown past it a little bit. You know what I mean? Yeah, that's about the time you shoot is when you start, like. By the time I shoot it, I'm just like, I never want to say any of that. Like, I have not been that person.

I've not, I don't even know if I've believed that for the past couple months, you know what I'm saying? but it is working, but I just am like so, like, want to get it away from me so badly. And then this time around is the first time ever that I feel like just, you know, what really is this like soothing amount stand-up, even though it's so hard to figure out, like, am I good, am I getting better, am I plateauing? It's like, I think after like, I don't know, 15 or 16 years, if you've been doing it as much as we have, you can kind of just, I don't know, I've built trust with myself on stage finally.

Like something broke after the fifth special where I now can like, right on stage and my special came out the last one a little bit faster than I thought it would and I had to write a new hour in like a month and a half and I absolutely did it. I did it because I think that there used to be this thing though where we were like an hour takes a year to put together. Like I don't know I just feel like there's a lot of things we heard said by other comedians maybe before like email and Google that we were like and it doesn't mean it's perfect and ready to shoot but I was able to tour with it. You know because I think it takes a long time to get it tightened and get it like...

It'll take me a year to get it short up, but I was able to kind of... I was still able to make people laugh for an hour. Yeah. You know? Yeah. And then, which is kind of just, like, fascinating. And I, I be able to do these, like, smaller clubs,

which I love going back. And then, so they kind of know what you're doing. And, like, you know, you can kind of... Yeah, that's always great. I just went to Comedy Magic Club, like, a month or two ago. I haven't been there in ages. Do they still have magicians come out before? They did it this time, but they... Yeah, I think they do.

But it's, like, that, it was great, because it was, like, I just got to go up and that was a big, big help because you really need that. I would take time off. I didn't, I don't have really time off after this one, but the next one, I'm going to make sure I have, you know, three months or something or two months where it's like, it is that where you're like, maybe you have a show or something, but you're overall just, you need to be at home. You need like, I, like, that's the, the big part is like, you got, I need, I just need to be home. Because then that's where you're going to come up with stuff. It's all, it's, you've got to go live a lot. You got to go live your life.

In order for art to imitate life, you have to have a life. Yeah. It's like so hard for us to figure that out because it's like you see like I'm terrified. Like not that I'm, you know, at anywhere close to this level, but it's like you see, you know, comedians sometimes get richer and richer and more successful. And then they stop being friends with comedians and you see them. You're like, what are you doing? Yeah.

Like what's like literally like, oh, so the other day I was flying private and you're like, what are you doing? Oh, yeah. Like what are you going? You have to go to an airport now for like five hours. Well, that's why, like, you living farther out and, like, you need to get out of it. You can't be in it because when you're in it, it's just, it's your life. And it's got to be a weird balance.

And that's the social media. Social media has the same thing. You got to be, you need to be on it, but you also have to be able to, like, get out of it. You're making me realize something that I think is such an obstacle for comedians now, which is that, you know, I realize that. that I have got to stay in love with people. Like we can always, I feel like, find what we're looking for, right? So if you're only on the news, you're like,

all people are monsters and all people are this. And then you just like, you know, get in a cab and talk to a cool cab driver. And you're like, oh, okay, I love making people laugh. Nobody's monsters. Nobody. Like, nobody. I always say 95% probably higher of people are awesome on earth. Awesome.

Awesome. Awesome. So where do we get that? I think it's from our, you know, primary caretakers. Like, I got some bad messages. It's tricky because I think a lot of comedians, they grew up with maybe a lot of parents that could be monster-y, you know?

So by the time they move into the world, they assume everybody is. But I have to actively, and I think comics have to actively collect contrary data in order to stay hopeful and stay a good comic. So it's like, to me, it's like it's about the jokes, whatever, but it's more about me being like, I want to go make these people laugh so bad

because they deserve it so badly. Well, your life can't be about you. How do you know that that? Well, I just know that it can't your life. If it's about you, it's not good. It's got to be second. Like being, there's a like with, we're Christian, like, you know, from the South Christian. Like my parents are very close with them still.

My dad always your life's supposed to be about, you should be second to everybody. Second to God, second to other people, second to everybody. But not second place in football. Not second place. We don't, you should win. You will be homeless. We got to win at some point. but it's the same you should be second the second you make everything about you is your life is going to be

miserable because you can't make everything you want to be good but you need to be that feeling of going to make that crowd laugh your feeling should be about that it shouldn't be like i'm trying to go destroyed to move my career all those things happen i'm not saying you're not trying to do stuff but you but the purpose needs to be about that audience that audience is going through whatever they're going through That audience is looking needs a break That audience, you're entertainment You're just entertainment for them And it's about them

And that's a big thing that I think Hollywood Has missed out on everything they make is not about It's about making the money They have to, that's why they only make these giant movies But it's not anymore It's not making money anymore You guys are losing money Because you're not talking to the people

Like- Yes, yeah Hollywood Like Adam Sandler is the only like I just went to his show He's it And you watched when I watched his show Everything about him is what what I want to be. That guy goes out there and makes those movies for the audience.

And that audience shows up in rewards. If you do it, you will be rewarded with everything that you want to go do. And his movies are like, well, I mean, his movies, the Happy Madison movies. Like he's going, you guys are smart. I'm dumb. Yeah. But we know that even smart people want to laugh at dumb shit sometimes, dude. When I tell you the mall cop, like it's, it makes, I have gone into Hollywood meetings and

And, like, you guys, like, it's, it's, you know, desperately seeking Susan meets Malkop. And they're always like, Malkop. I'm like, it's one of the funniest, like, him just, it's hilarious. If you don't think that's hilarious, and then you're going to go, well, Dirty Rout and Scoundrel is a masterpiece. Like, Malkop is just hysterical. Yeah.

I fell off an elliptical watching it with the sound off of the gym ones. Yeah. Like, it's excellent. That's how they describe some of the watches. mall cop they go what we're gonna do and you'd be like is that what you want your audience to be? If you can't figure

out a treadmill this is your movie but it's like I just am like the mall cop with the sound off is funnier than the last 20 movies you guys made with the sound on like I don't know what to tell you they well they're not watching what they're making and so are they

you know we I had one pilot that was shot was this with Danielle? Yes she's awesome. The best. But I'm a giant fan of you with all that you've created with like two broke girls

in your show Whitney and all that like I and you went Roseanne like you're the TV aspect of like what you were able to do just because I've tried to sell shows for these I'm trying to do it. Like I've done it. They've never really gone but

I know how hard it is I see how hard it is to make these shows and you did it. But also by the time you were doing it it was over. Like there was just no the business was collapsing you know I think in a lot of ways

network TV kind of feels a little bit like doing Broadway as of right now. Yeah. I mean, the Daily Show was getting 383,000 viewers. Yeah, it's insane. You know what I mean? It's like our... Well, that's what they, why don't they go back? That's what doesn't make sense.

How do they not... Why is Seinfeld and the office and Raymond and Kevin King Queens? Why are these shows? Two Broke Girls? Why are people only watching those shows and they're not watching the new shows? That's what, like, it's insane that they don't realize. I mean, think about it. So Two Burk Girls, it was like, you know, basically it's about things that I think

you know, Roseanne, remember the pilot, the first one where they were talking about, like, you know, paying bills. Yeah, we're going to pay this to the electric. We're not going to pay the this. We're not going to sign this check. You know, that scene, an incredible scene in the pilot where they're trying to figure out how the- Cosby Show pilot was Theo doing the money when he sits down Theo and tells him, show me your money that you got. Right, right, right, right. That's one of the most famous scenes in the Cosby show, and that's the pilot. Correct. But that was about a real situation. I want to come back to a Cosby thing in a second What goes is just not the So I

You know he's a bad guy You know that's what you go back to You go? Well I am like okay Okay Theory I'm working on I think we can all agree Is this one of those I want to be cut out of

Gatsy if you want to just slowly You can leave it in But just You're done with Hollywood right It's just to me You don't want to do any more Hollywood stuff right You're not doing stuff right You're done with pie with you know

You have like a beef jerky deal or something Yeah So, um, I, uh, I'm gonna open his diet Pepsi. Uh, yes, that's for you, actually. I know, I'm very excited. Um, so Bill Cosby, what he did was bad, bad, naughty, naughty, you can't do that. But illegal go to jail. I also, um, did just to be clear, volunteer to pay him to open for him on this tour he's planning.

Do you know he has an app? Really? Uh-huh. He has an app and he's trying to go on tour. And I was like, I volunteer his tribute to open for him. Wow. I know. I don't know what's going to come, because I think, most people are going to come, don't you think?

Just attack him and make it weird. I just think it would be kind of amazing to do stand up for a crowd that was about to kill a man. Yeah. I would be like, so what's your plan, guys? Like, what are we doing? Yeah. Like, let me just see. Like, I mean, it's just, it's such.

How do you bring him up? Do you list his credits or do you list his other credits? I'm going to drag him. I don't know. I'm going to drug him and drag. I don't know. But I just am, like, fascinated by the fact that, like, people, I just want to see the kind of people that are going to see him.

And is it for real or just to yell at him? I feel like people will throw jello. Like, I just want to be there. I mean, the people, if you want to go yell at them, it's like those people just shouldn't go. You're like, just don't go. Like, and that, like, no one wants to go see it. And I would imagine maybe some old, like,

there could be some people that are older and just loved Cosby. And they, like, didn't even know what had happened. they only read like USA Today. Yeah, they could be like, I don't know if he, you know, whatever, they think, whatever. I mean, is he might going to these shows? Or he hasn't said where he's going to do it, right? He was remarkable. When Joe Paterno, when the Penn State came stuff happened,

Joe Paterno died immediately. It's unreal that Cosby has not died. It's actually pretty. It's insane. It shows the kind of, it almost shows the person because I think it's no sign of a remorse. Joe Paterno, I mean, he died. It ate him alive. It just was like gone dead.

But do you think psychopaths, if they don't feel empathy, they don't feel compunction? I mean, how's he not died? If he didn't do this, how's he not died? Yeah, that's good point. Like, I mean, he's very old. I mean, I think a lot of, I mean, money keeps you alive, I think, longer. And I think there's also this warrior spirit and this will. Like Cosby, like what he did with his, the sitcom is incredible.

It's an incredible show. I mean, do you remember when they panned out to? the audience and in the finale, I think it was, and they panned to the live studio audience. I mean, Martin is my number one sitcom. He did some, I think even more innovative stuff. I remember he would run out the window and then all the crew would follow him out the window.

But there was some really interesting shit. We can't go through the window, Martin. He goes, you're going through the window. He was just, he was just leaving the set. And everyone was like, they were just looking to chase him to get him back. I mean, by season's like three, actually, because, you know, he and his co-star,

like, wouldn't be, it's a, you know, famously known that they wouldn't be in the same room together. And they would only do like one or two. You could tell it was like only one take because Martin would go out of the frame and then come back in and they didn't reshoot it. Like it was just there, it's just like bonkers. And then one of my other favorite things to do

is to watch Martin and not watch Martin at all and only watch everybody else like trying not to laugh while he's doing shit. Yeah. Because all the actors are just like, because it's so funny. Like all of all of his guy friends in the show. They were just like like in every scene.

but Cosby stay with me what he did was bad but like what is going on with you that you wanted to have sex with America's dad awake

yeah you mean figured they're not me you know what I'm saying I just I'm so you're asking me that question you go well Whitney I didn't want to talk about it but alright I guess we will but I'm just saying if you

if he hadn't have drugged you you were just going to be like yeah like ha ha ha like what was the draw of having it's it's it's it's the it's the power it's the it's the power of it's the it's the power of it to be but do you think he think that be also why right he doesn't need to do the drugging like you're like I think he that's what's saying do you think on some level like the 10th woman that was just like you know can I can I can sit on your lap and you do you know what I mean or something like like I just think there's something going on with being attracted to America's dad at that time

But there's, it's also just a, I would imagine a fame thing. You need to look at your shit too. Yeah, yeah. It could be, but you're trying to get ahead. Like, you're something. It's either the fame or it's like, I don't know if he's on the road or if it's like, it's the hope of he's going to help you or it's the. It feels like you need to call your dad and work some shit out.

Like, I think you need to call your dad and let him know he dropped the ball. Yeah. Yeah. No, nothing to this. No, no, I agree. I think it's, look, I have a daughter. And I think very much so that. I want to teach her to be able to hand, not saying that they, but really try to, you got to be aware of a situation, especially for women.

Women, it's, it's just, uh, dudes can be awful and they can be a motive and just be. And so it is a lot of them, though, you know, it's like, no, women can't do, but I've got to watch your wallet too sometimes. Yeah, yeah. You got to watch her you marry without a pre-nup. But I want her to be able to, I want her to be able to handle stuff on her own. Yeah, there is certain times where you go, you put yourself in a. situation that you should have never been in that situation. Which is karate.

Karate is, I can kill you with one hand, but I would never put myself in the situation in the first place. Yes. And so some of that, yes, it is that. What, and then, but as long as she's growing up in the South, I think you're fine. She's around horses. But, but it's, girls around big, around animals. Yeah.

Well, obsessed with horses. Let's go. Yeah. I know. So we, I do, I do a gala. It's basically equine therapy with, uh, girls and they learn to like claim their space. It's not about what you're saying, it's about how you say it.

So when I was growing up and going on dates with boys, it was like, stop, no, stop. You know, because I didn't want to let them down or hurt them or embarrass them. You know, I was also taught that, like, I truly was taught that if a man got a boner when you were making out and you didn't somehow relieve the blue balls, like, they would pass away. There was this, like, guilt of, like, if you started it, like, someone's got to finish it. Yeah, that's a lot. Like, they'll just be like, oh, you can't. And you're like, okay, sorry.

Like, but horses, you can't, you know, you got to say like, no and you have to mean it. And horses respect that. So it's a way for them to learn that you don't go like, no, thank, no. Because when you do that, you're hoping the other person is just going to make the right choice and like read your mind. But if your body is not, body language isn't congruous with what you're saying, you know. Well, I like that then. Yeah. So it's super cool.

I'll show you what we do with horses. Oh, yeah. She's obsessed. She works at this horse camp. Cool. She was like six and they, she's a leader, uh,

leader in training and she leads, uh, people come to do birthday parties. She leads on the trail. Oh, so cool. She's 10 years old. Oh,

you have no, you're, you don't have to worry about anything. Yeah. But also sort of the medicine of being around something that like wants nothing from you, uh, and learning how to, uh,

basically like not be needy and, uh, fear driven because like our energy, like, you know, you walk into a room and then everybody, responds to your energy and you're like why is it for being so weird yeah you did that yeah but like horses hold a mirror up to you and show you what kind of energy you're giving off and show that you have

made you have like like I basically just had to learn how to be a leader of people you know it's like when I was working on the you know made these shows I all of a sudden had like 400 employees and I'm just like 20 I don't have no idea what I'm doing and my leadership style at the time I didn't know any better was like just be friends with everyone and like talk through their stuff and like you know like what's going on with you? Like, are you doing okay? Like, do what? Like, can I get you anything? Like, I just was, like, wanted love from everyone I was working with, and they just wanted to get out at five. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? So the best thing I could do for them is just like, all right, we're shooting again. I can't do it right now. We're going to move on, love you, action.

Instead of like, how are you doing? I just feel like a weird energy. Are you okay? Like, I was trying so hard to take care of everybody, but the best way sometimes to take care of people is just to be really direct and clear and fair. It teaches animals, horses, prey animals, they teach you how to be fair. I like that idea with that when you're saying like with yeah when you have when you're running a show like when you're running a show and you have those people it's like yeah they it's they want you to be nice to them but then it's also like we yo I'm not your like best friend in the world like I just I have a home they have to they're like I have a two hour commute yeah you have like a 10 minute commute yeah and I have like you know I have kids my you know I don't have the health

insurance you have see that's the thing that with that the disconnect of like a lot of TV and hollered like that that that I feel is they don't think about that kind of stuff and they don't realize like when you think of news or you see social media and another part of it is the people that are making TV and what everybody sees they are addicted to social media so they only see social media and they and so then that's their energy is like a news person goes on can you believe what's that and it's because they're addicted because all they have they have the most time ever just to go and flip through and And then they, in television shows, put famous internet people on their TV shows thinking they're famous and interesting. But America's like, who's the fuck is. Like, I don't know what that is. It's very hard. People talk with like fame. Like, you know, to be, you know, if you're Jimmy Fallon or if you're James Gordon, we're going to.

Like, that's how the power of power of TV. They too talk about that too. Like, they want to go to follow. a network is still gigantic. Like if you go a network television, I still believe is gigantic. But you know how they make their money? Well, football is the old reason.

But you're on the commercials during the football game. Like that stuff matters very much. I'm on a Fox show right now, I call The Accus. And it is excellent. Howard Gordon, he did 24. He did Homeland. You know, but, you know,

taking it, it was like doing a show, a network show. It was like, yeah, if it's on Fox, They have football. Yeah, that's the show. You know what I mean? Like, that's going to do well. I still would have done it, you know,

but then it's going to go to Hulu. But, like, you know, most of these networks, like, are owned by, you know, like, I mean, Universal. They don't make their money off TV shows. It's like a silly side hobby. One syndicated TV show, Friends is still is what's paying everybody's bills. But why don't they make, like, if they, do they,

you think, I mean, they, I'm sure they try to make friends again, but, like, is it that hard of a formula to crack, like, to make something? Yeah, these, days it really is because it's now audiences are so fragmented and there's so many choices. So it's like Friends today, it's like Friends is brilliant, you know, and next generations are finding it. So they also, Friends did this incredible job of, you know, it down to the costume was made for syndication, right? So not a lot of topical references. Okay, they dress like German tourists. If you go back and look at their wardrobe,

everything is still in style in a weird way. They wore khakis, jeans, T-shirts, like very smart. TV shows don't syndicate as well if they're single camera and if there's like, you know, because the idea is like, you know, people are like, well, I want to wear this and I want to wear this and I want to look super fashionable, but then in four years this is going to look dated. You know, whereas like Friends still feels classic. So two-burnt girls, you know, we made it in a restaurant where the two girls are in uniforms most of the time. So in 20 years, it's still going to feel. It's going to be fun. Yeah, you know. Well, and you think it's also the people that will make stuff for family viewing. I have like, I think viewing is very divided.

So it's like shows are made for, you know, the wife, the husband, the kid. There's not a lot like America's Funniest Videos. Yeah, yeah. A family can watch that show. Well, that's like TikTok or that's like YouTube now probably. So it's hard maybe for syndication because you're like, well, it's not going to be the quad viewing that they say or whatever. We used to have America's Funniest videos. Now we like have World Star and we can watch a human being get like shot in the face.

Like a traitor Joe's whatever we want. Yeah. But I watch, we watch America's Funneed with our daughter. So good. Because it's, but it's like saying like we would watch shows. Remember when someone would do a backflip into a pool that ended up being empty? And the sound effects was like, point, wing, wing. And you're like, I think that person's like going to walk weird like forever.

Oh, yeah. Sometimes we wouldn't have to go, hey, this person's fine. They have to say it after it because it's like so. I mean, there was a couple times people who like just, I feel like there were a lot of dads getting like baseballs to the dick. Yeah. And you're like, I don't know if he's going to like, did he kill the kid after? Like, what happened? I want to know what happened.

I want an America's Funniest's videos like where you see the hospital visit after. Yeah. Okay. We're about to talk about Etsy, y'all. Like, oh. Okay. I feel like so we're, I'm working with Etsy. Uh, they are now have finally I have conned them into, um, being a sponsor on the podcast.

I don't know how this happened. 838 purchases on Etsy. I think this isn't like the last like month or something. I love to shop on Etsy for the most like unique, beautifully made items from independent sellers. You know that I'm obsessed with vintage clothes. I'm obsessed with handmade stuff, unique stuff. Etsy sellers have everything from statement pieces like rugs and sofas. I have many of them.

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This is him leaving the courthouse and watch how, like, he thinks about doing this to entertain his fans and then how he does it. Okay. It's so bone-chilling. This podcast is sponsored by E-Harmony, the dating app that helps people find genuine connection.

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Take E-Harmony's compatibility quiz today. and get someone who gets you. This is him leaving the courthouse. I think after he was... Yeah. Bomber. Yeah, that is why he's alive, though, because it's like, I mean, he just doesn't...

There's no... But that's a guy that's been famous for, you know, I'm always fascinated. People that have been famous for that long, and they have no sense of any sort of... I always try to do a joke like Tom Cruise. Like, I like Tom Cruise. Like, Tom Cruise is someone that makes stuff for America.

That's why Top Gun was gigantic. Tom Cruise? Yeah. Yes. Because he makes stuff, Mission Impossible. He makes stuff for people that are going to watch it. He makes movies that have guns in them. Yeah.

That's all we want. Not that hard, guys. That's all we want. Not that hard. Everyone's like, why are no one watching our shows? There's no guns. There's no guns in movies. That's why people go, we have to go buy them because we just want to see people go pal-pow, but you won't do it.

So we have to do it at home. Like, it's just like movies. forgot what their job was. Yeah. I don't know if that's why people go by guns. Well, it's one of the reasons. Well, I have a theory. You know, by the movie.

And you're like, I gotta go shoot some sad movie. And you're like, I gotta go shoot some guns, dude. I think I would know why people buy guns. I am a woman. Many people want to kill. Yeah. Okay. Every man I've ever been with has purchased a gun within two months.

So I think I would know. That's how you know when it's about over. He goes, what you doing? Witt. Does they call you? You go, Witt. Wait. Wait.

And you're like. You think I tell them my real name? Are you insane? One of the biggest skills in life you can have, and this is something we do in equine therapy. And something that next time I come to Nashville, I'd love to see where your daughter does what she does, and we can maybe talk about the ways that you can put people in categories,

not as the stereotypes, not as being reductive, but just to go, like, for me, my main requirements, before I let someone in my life, you can call it like red flags, whatever, if they didn't play team sports like people to play team sports I just get along better with them you know are you an only child only children are like I just

like I know I know a lot of them that I love very much I just don't want to collaborate with them my daughter's only child yeah well is another one coming but no we'll see maybe you'll be cool so you won't collaborate but hold on so you go come to now you just told me you would work with her and now you're telling me

You want to come there and go, I'm sorry, I can't work with you. You see what I just did? I literally do horse behavior. Yeah, he's like a horse. You know, but if, okay, but if an only child plays team sports or works with horses, or grew up on a farm. Okay. So I have an only-

She's at home, a lot of cousins, a lot of around, a lot of family. As long as she- We live in a cul-de-sac. She's around. As long as she gets beat up by other family kids. Do you know what I'm saying? Yes. If she's alone and there's no other children, like, you know, you know,

you know, giving her wasabi, saying it's guacamole. You know what I mean? Yeah. Like that kind of thing. Yeah, yeah. Like she is able to fistfight other children. Yeah. Okay.

What else is it? Okay, it's only child. Pat, what's my other one? Only child. Team sports. Vegans, like, generally... On a cleanse. I'm not...

On a cleanse. You can't be on a cleanse. Like, at work. Like, you can't be on a cleanse around me. I just don't try... And then people who go, I've never drank and I don't drink. you know those people?

Like, I've never had to hit a pot. And you're like, why don't I just have one and like, you know what I mean? Does that me sense? You know those people? Yeah. Like, I've never drank once. I never will. You're like, you're not even going to.

So everyone's wrong. But you're, you know, like, have you ever done a, like, show this happened in one time at the comedy store? And I just, like, had to, like, kind of snapped. Like, I was working on new stuff. And it was actually going really well. And it's very rare that I'm like, oh, shit, this is like feeling. This is like cracking, like in the, in the OR in the comic store.

Do you ever go up at the comedy store where you're? A little. Next time. Yeah. But that O.R. is like, it's like flying. Like when you're able to get them, like the sound, the way that Mitzie Shore built it, like, the way the lights are, like, you can't see them at all. But you can really, like, feel them. And when it's like, you know, that dark, everyone feels permission to laugh even harder because they know you can't see them.

So they'll laugh at crazier or shit, but it takes this, you know. But then you're like following Sebastian or you're following, you know, a killer. So you have to either surf their energy, but usually have to, you know, it's just like the most fun. Yeah, yeah. It's like surfing. It's the most fun thing in the world when you catch the wave And anything less than catching it, you want to die But, you know, I was on one night

It was like, I was like flying And there was just one guy in the front who just was like Not feeling it. And I just like, so everyone's wrong? So all these people are, but you're in your, like You think they're all wrong? Like, do you ever have that moment? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

When you're like... They don't get it. Well, it's hard to not focus on that person too. So they're dumb. So they're just dumb. Yeah. Like it's just this weird thing. Yeah.

where it's like, why can't I only focus on them? You know what I remember? So I did the Byron Allen thing. Comics Unleased? I did that once, but then the other, the comedy.com.com. TV and you were actually the host. Yep.

You would never remember. Like it was, there was, there's where we filmed all day. I think it was a hundred shows in five days. It was. Crazy. Yeah, it was like 10 a day or whatever. Or over two weeks.

Yeah. So that was like, so I remember when I did that, that audience was like, because they would sit there and they just were like, there was real, no reaction. And I had, by four, I was like, are you guys ready? Like, are you guys? Oh, it was insane. Everyone's just like on fentanyl. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Because they're there

for the 50 bucks. I mean, it's like, I used to do sit in audiences for money when I was broke back in the day. I mean, it's just like a nightmare. Like, they're literally like shaking with the DTs waiting for their cash. And I remember, uh, they're laughing at the wrong part. Like, they're not even really listening. And then, uh, and I remember one guy with, uh, he had like kind of a big afro. And I remember he just sat there and just stared the whole time. And that's all I could see. And it was all the faces.

And it was a guy that was like, this is not worth $50. Like it was just, he's been there the whole time. And so the whole time you're up there, I'm just looking. And he's not, I mean, and it was just, and he was so, like, just over it. And you know, they just try to go like, well, something's got to make him. But it's, he's not even. Have you ever done the gala's in Montreal? I did the Montreal gala.

It was Steve Martin was hosting the ukulele and the mini piano and like all the stuff. And it was the like five o'clock Sunday one. Yeah. It was me, Catherine Ryan, Orney Adams. Oh God, I'm probably forgetting who else? But I went out there and it was the five o'clock Sunday show. It's an opera house. So it's like people that have season tickets to the opera.

Yeah. And they just come every Sunday. it like it just happened to be an evening with Steve Martin. So they thought they were going to see like banjos and like, you know, I'm like, I don't know what. Everyone is bombing in a way that's like everyone was like, is this, we were literally saying is this thing on? We were like, can you guys like, should we like everyone that went out there. They were like, we don't think they can hear us. And everyone's like, no, no, the mic works.

It was like every, it was also light. Like we could see every person. There was someone in the front row like an old couple. that after every joke they would check in with each other and be like like they would check in with each other and give like a it was like it was such a nightmare

and then um ornie Adams went up last though and fucking killed yeah it was one of the wildest things I've ever seen like no one could crack it and we're like uh oh this is really going to put orny over the edge yeah like we should all be waiting because he's going to put a gun in his mouth after this you know what I mean because he's just like a bull

and you know what I'm saying And he goes out there with like a spike-ass hair like an animal and starts yelling about customer service in India and just starts destroying. And we're all like, okay, this is all of a sudden less funny that we all bombed. Yeah, he's so funny.

Dude, that kills me. Like that was one of the like coolest moments I've seen in comedy when I went, you know what? It's never the audience's fault. Yeah, yeah. Ever. It's not. Because that was the night that I made the, like,

we all were like, oh, well, the audience is just like, whatever. Like, they don't get it. They're dumb. And then he just went out there and fucking ripped Whereas everyone else was like Oh well everyone's bombing so I'm just gonna go bomb too And like fuck them

You know and just destroyed bless you Sorry are you allergic to having your time wasted Before I let you go Okay so your special is now on Amazon Can I just ask it like I went to the app Put in your name it came right up To find a Netflix special now

You have to like Go to grad school to learn how to search in a You have to be a woman in What's her mother's maiden name? I don't even yet. Well, why would I know that? And so can I ask why you decide to do Amazon? So Amazon was very excited.

Netflix, you know, I've changed my life. And then Amazon started working with them. And then they were... Because I'm only asking just because I'm curious, like, because people are like, well, why is it on Netflix? And for me, I kind of want to diversify. I want to have some on Netflix, someone on Amazon, you know. Well, Amazon's starting to get into...

They want to make a big push into comedy. Well, yeah, they have all Jim Gaffigants now, right? Yeah, and so they were very much wanted me to be a part of that push, and then they were going to be way behind it with the advertising, and they were very, very excited to do it. Sometimes I'm like, I just am curious what you guys are going to pair me with. You know, users who bought this item also bought pregnancy tests. But I can own it, too.

Yep, I paid for my last one. So that was a big thing. Netflix, I wouldn't have been able to own it and this one I can't own it. And I really wanted to own this one. Yep. Yep. And then so you paid for it yourself. Mm-hmm.

Yep. And then did you find yourself being a little bit like of a slum lord? Because for me, when I paid for my last one, I actually went all out. And I felt like when someone else was paying it for it, I was weirdly cheaper. Because I was like, well, this isn't even mine. Yeah. So I mean, like, you know, it's like owning a house. Like you're going to put more into landscaping than if you're renting.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I did. This was definitely the most expensive special I've done because it was in the round and everything. It looks so good. Yeah, they did great. But we knew where it was going. We already, yeah, it's like we already had the date. We are at everything planned before we knew where it was going to go.

And then doing it in the round, can I just ask, like, did you do a couple shows before? Because I remember, Dan Cook used to do in the round. Louis, I think, shot a special. Louis shot here, Anne Carlin. Right? Anne Carlin. And so did you look at their specials to see how the coverage were? works because in the round, I'm always kind of like, someone's always, like, missing something.

Like, how did you? I'm just always kind of pacing. And so I like it because it helps me with my rhythm and it helps me with my pacing. So the whole time I was just doing that. Because otherwise, I always pace back and forth like a fucking line in a cage. Well, that's why I like going around. And I think you're moving around enough that no one's really even really thinking about it. And then you're, I mean, you know, you have to maybe sometimes if you, when you make a joke, you maybe have to,

stretch your facial expression a little bit. I also think something magical about the round, and obviously the greats before us, you included, know this is the audience gets to see the other side of the audience. They get to see each other. Yeah, so I had them lit. So Carlin's special is, with just the lighting set up back in 78 or whenever he did it,

you can see the audience is lit up a ton. And so when I saw it, I was like, I want this audience to be lit up, and I want you to be able to see them the whole, time because my last special was in universal COVID mask and you can't see the audience I remember I wanted I wanted to show people having you were like having to fight with helicopters oh yes yeah so this one I wanted to like I want to show people have fun I want to show people out of show having a good time and like to see people behind you it's just so fucking cool yeah it's it's nice to yeah I think especially

after we went through it's it's I mean I honestly it's like I could see where you're like I might shoot them all in the rain. Like they just look so good. They look so good. I also, I love proof. I know it sounds silly and I think it's because I come from multi-cams and I got accused so much of like, this is a laugh track. This is canned laughter. Like that's how, you know, dismorphic people got, you know, whereas it was like most of the shows, like how I met your mother was actually a laugh track. There were a lot that actually were. And then we were shooting live, but we were comedians and, you know, I didn't know to not have microphones in the audience. Like I didn't know yet in order, you know, to do a sitcom.

You know you should never do the joke you want in the show first, you know? Because if you do this by the third take, they already know the joke. So they're going to laugh soon. So for me, sometimes like when I'm doing specials and I'm like, that sounds like a really big laugh because they don't know how many people are in the audience. Like I don't want them to think like this has been sweet. I don't know. I just, I get paranoid about it.

So I love the idea of like seeing the audience. I mean like they're laughing. Like you can't argue with this. Those are human beings. Like we're not sweetening shit. I think people have just started to kind of like not trust. laughs or something and I think that

like I'm doing the roast you know editing the roast which I know I begged you to be on the Berg Kreischer one I will con you into doing another one at some point but I even

because to me it's like you know when you're live like if something deserves 20 seconds great but someone that's at home I'm always like how long are they gonna how long are you gonna really laugh at someone if you're not with like your family

and friends you're gonna be like God, that's a great joke. Oh, my God. I'm going to text my friend. Holy shit. Next joke. Yeah.

Whereas then, like, I watch these specials where I laugh at a great joke from a comic and now I'm just watching a bunch of other people laugh and clap for like 20 seconds. Yeah. Like, you got to cut it out or show the audience. Yeah, this way, there's no cutaways

because it's, you're really just showing the audience to hold. So I think the round is like, this is the way to do it. I think people were so mad at Dane Cook for so long. Yeah. That they just, like, we're like, we can't shoot in rounds because that was what he did or something. Yeah. And then he got it.

Dan Cook was great. Yeah. I was a big Dan Cook. Me too. I used to open for Dan Cook on the road. We went and did a arena in Sunrise, Florida. Everyone's like, Dan Cook isn't funny. Dan Cook.

I'm like, I feel like the audience, like we don't get to decide that. Oh, no. He was the most funny. He was the first company that got kind of took down with like almost like he just got too big. And then everybody just started like trying to yank him down. Yep, yep. Yep. But I mean, you're like, I mean, that guy was great.

He was super, I mean, he would destroy and, you know, I never understood it. It left it all for. And then comics would, and people that want to do it, comics would always trash it. And you're like, then you go do it, dude. If it's so easy, then go do it. Yeah, why aren't you? If he's so dumb and unfunny, what's your excuse? Yeah.

I went and did these arenas with him a couple times. And, like, when he came out, you couldn't, like, he had to wear earplugs. Like, people had posters. Like, kids had posters. And I was like, this is what. we all wish we could do. Yeah. Yeah.

Well, like, he did it. Like, Dice Clay did it. He did it. Like, it was people screaming. He would do bits everyone knew and do them again. Like, the whole thing with stand up is you can't do a bit you've already done. They would call out to say, like, do the cashew bit, like, do the this, and he'd do it, and they do it with him. Yeah.

That's what a musician does. Like, greatest hits. Yeah. Like, can you do greatest hits ever? I bet you could. I bet you could. I don't, but they have. I've had people yell at it.

I usually can't remember. Like Kreischer's machine. Yeah, he does them. I have a hard time remember them. That's the hard part. Because you just, when you start writing new, you're just kind of so focused on that. So it's hard to remember them. So new tour happening now?

Happening now. Yeah. Natebargazzi.com. Yeah. Naidtrizzargetti.com. Yeah. Did you have many cities? Oh, it just doesn't stop.

It's, uh, I don't know. We did 200, something like, or two of a dates or something less. Like it's, uh, and it just doesn't stop. I'm just in it. Like it's, you know, it's all, everything's kind of, it's going great and everything. So you just kind of like, just like. Do you ever bring your daughter? Yeah, we're going to Europe next week.

So she, her and my wife are going to come to Europe. Doing Scandinavia? No, we're doing maybe. No, not Scandinavia. I never know what really Scandinavia means. By the way, neither do I. I just said that to Steve Smart. I was like, I hope he knows what that means.

Yeah, I don't know. Norway, Sweden, Finland. Then I am doing Scandinavia. Okay. And like, are you going to shoot this at all? Like a, like a docu series road? No, I don't think so. We, we, someone mentioned it once, but it's like, I, you know, I've been gone so much.

And then so it's, and I've got to do shows there that I just want to like, I would like to kind of see your parts unknown. Yeah, I wouldn't mind doing something like it possibly, but this one. I love watching really smart people not be able to do easy things because the smart people that made them made us feel dumb. Yeah. Like I like watching smart people try to figure things out

that make no sense. Yeah. Like I feel like you do that a lot. Yeah. But I'm good at like... Like you're able to, I'm sorry, you're able to say things like when you're like this thing didn't work

or like the gun place in... Was that in... Omaha. You know? Like it was like you just said it in a way that was so simple but only someone really smart could say it. That's how Louis...

You remind me of Louis C.K. in that way, don't you think? Yeah, I hope so. Yeah. To me, I feel like so much like there's so few people that can be that smart and then try to do something and point out how stupid the thing is. Am I making any sense? Yeah. Yeah. No, that makes sense. I don't know what to say about myself.

Like, I don't know how to, but I mean, I preach. Neither do I. I mean, do I, does it seem like I know what I'm saying? But I'm trying to, I just, I don't know. I'm such a fan. And I just am like trying to figure out how to say what you do in a way that the, the fans can kind of go, oh, yeah, that's the, not giving away the magic trick, but you're so, like, authentic. And I think that it's just like, I don't know, I just, I learn a lot from you about just

being a person. Well, thank you. Just, like, you're okay with silence. You'll just let it be silent. I'll let it. We can sit there. I'm a big fan of you as well. And I love every, and I was like the TV stuff.

It's like, I just, I love how much you know and think about that stuff. It's a skill no one needs anymore. I feel like I have all these superpowers. No one needs. I think they do, and I think they will. And I honestly, I think they're starting to realize that even now, like you have like Nightcourt is that multicam and it's doing good. Yep.

You're watching this. I mean, there's a point that you're seeing a lot of that stuff switch back to like the Hollywood aspect where they're making shows where you want to go, you know, other the people in the middle of like the country, you're like, yeah, we're not, like, I'm not going to keep watching like just me being dumb or me being, we're all racist, we're all, none of us are any of this stuff. Why are you guys lecturing me? You guys are the pervert, pedophile racists that did all this. You know what I'm saying?

Like we, and, you know, it's really interesting. You say that because it's like, it really is Hollywood is like, okay, so you guys need to stop being transphobic. Everyone's like, huh? We don't even have time to be transphobic. Like, what that think you guys did that. You know what I mean? Yeah.

You know, I think that's such a great way to put it, but also in terms of like the TV business, because I really think it like super, super business-wise, I don't look at it as a hobby. I don't look at it as like a fun, you know, thing. I just look at it straight as a business. And if you're going to make money in television,

the big ways to make money is court shows, like live court shows, scripted court shows. People like justice. They like seeing idiots go, fuck her. He stole my plunger. I want my fucking, because that's like everyone has that shit.

Do you know what I mean? Relatable. And then they want someone who is an alpha who's going to go, both of you shut the fuck up. Like Judge Judy. Like breath of fresh. going you're both fucking children, you're both going to pay $6,000 to fix your neighbor's

fucking lawn goodbye. You know what I'm saying? They want to hear someone reasonable tell childish people to like shut up. So you're getting like justice out of it. You're getting comedy out of it. You're getting the ability to feel better about yourself. Do you know what I mean? I like to go like, hey guys, I did this dumb thing.

And everyone goes, oh God, I'm like, I'm not so dumb. Yeah. Because this person that I thought was smart did something dumber than me. You know, it's like you're giving people that. You know, it's not just me. People are dumber than me. And then another way, football is, you know, the biggest moneymaker sports. Like, TV is literally exists because of, you know, football is what keeps everything alive.

I think it's stuff that can be co-viewing. Also, multi-generational viewing, but also most people watch TV as the fourth thing they're doing. Yeah. Right? Unless you're sitting and binging something like Ozark or whatever, Mad Men. Most people are watching multi-cams and they're cooking, Dan. and they're dealing with their kids and they're changing a diaper, they're cleaning the house and they're doing laundry

and they need to be able to just like hear a joke I got it and then I can go in the other room come back, I still get what's happening, you know? And that's why you want three sets. Okay, they're in the diner, got it. I already know what's happening. You know? Yeah, that's why you're making TV that it's like, I don't have to, it's not a whole thing.

That's when you watch, like, Ozark for me, I did not watch Ozark and I know it's great, but it's, but I just got to watch a Breaking Bad. So I watched Breaking Bad and then you're like... Ozark is two weeks of your life. Like you have to, you'll watch it like when your wife like leaves you. I don't know when you would have time. Yeah, yeah.

I'm just waiting for that. And then so then it's, it's, but it was like too, like it was like such a big thing to watch Breaking Bad. Then you're like, all right, Ozark's starting. You're like, I can't do another like whole thing. Like, and that's how a lot of the TV feels like now. Netflix, a lot of the shows are like, I can't do a whole. And you know what show kind of started that? And I'm happy for someone to challenge me.

What show started that? That kind of like addictive viewing. Sopranos? Great, great guess. I think it was 24. Oh, yeah. Remember how 24 was like, what the fuck, dude?

What? And they were just like, because it was all in an amount of time that made urgency viewing. Like, how do you get people to watch a show tonight instead of like, I'll get to it when I get to it?

It's very hard to do. You have to make something that's addictive and that makes people produce adrenaline. You know? So it's like the best comedies now. you know are the ones that have something kind of dangerous in it like rami or something that's going to make you feel adrenaline because that's what makes you addicted to something yeah you know and i think that like usually i mean like chris tucker dude that guy he was like comedy but the

movies made adrenaline that's what makes the biggest comedy stars they're in some kind of action situation yeah yeah yeah you know so it's like it's i just like i just like boil it down to like you could go the opposite there now i think that's why people watch old stuff now is because you don't see racism Yeah, because that's what they want to see. To see racist. To watch it. Dude, my favorite show to this day is buried with children.

Dude, it is the most sexist against men and women. Yeah. I'm like, have you seen what the men doing it? Yeah. Like, you're like King of Queens. You're like, that is so sexist. Like, Leah Remini is just the setup. Like, Kevin James, like, can't read.

Like, I think that's the joke. He's so dumb. He, like, can't use, like, a dishwasher. Like this is sex as against women. I'm like, it's pretty... I always say that with my podcast, I get made fun of some of the day

if I went to and like, I'm dyslexic. I think I can't read. I'm so dyslexic. That's why I invert. There is like stuff that you do. All right, like my stand up.

It's, because you got to learn the balance, but then sometimes it's like, well, if you could go too hard on your wife or something, you're like, I mean, you,

I just listed a thousand things of me being the stupidest person alive. And then so you balance, but you do have to balance it. And then you're like, you know, did we, you know, run out of salt for the casserole? And you're like, you are a rapist. You're like, hold on, hold on. You know, so I think it's also it's like, you know, in the South, like, it's just not like that, you know?

It's like we go at each other and we go like, you know, the women in my family in the South are much scary. The men are terrified of them, too I'm saying. So it's just like, I don't know, this whole thing where we, you know, it's like we're going to empower women by acting like they're made of glass and have to. be treated like kid gloves and can't take a joke. Like that's always just like such a... That's why I loved Roseanne and Dan. They were savage to each other. Like that's real love.

You know, LeBryon and Caroline, his wife, they're two of my favorite people on the planet. They're in, obviously, Nashville and then outside. But they just rip each other, dude. And they have the most fun. Like, their relationship is just like, they've been together for so long, and they just prank each other.

They're just, like, as soon as he wait, a blowhorn in his, face before he wakes up in the more i mean it's just like that is the most fun to me yeah yeah yeah but if they lived in hollywood luke brian would go to jail for abuse yeah yeah yeah so do you think you're gonna do a tv show or no just gonna keep doing specials uh i'm trying to now we're trying to we're trying to we're trying to see what happens with one really yeah yeah i mean i've tried it it's been every year almost basically tried and like i look at it now like i would like to i would like to I still, you know, I would love to make a

Everybody Loved Raymond Cosby show Let me answer you a question Like when are we gonna I know this is where it's going Uh When are we just gonna go Let's finance six episodes of a show? Yes

You can do it for Yeah You can do six episodes of a show For 500 grand Yeah Yeah if you want to do Like it's like what Tyler Perry did

I'm a big fan of what Tyler Perry does What's the Blue Collar guys did. They went, we're not going to pay LA prices for office space. We're all funny as shit. We made money on the road. Why don't we just go live? But you're talking about like instill selling it to a network or something? Yeah, I mean, Rob Schneider, I think, did it. He tried to do like a multi-

I think he made like 30 episodes of a multi-cam and then sold it to Netflix. But it's just like, why wouldn't you just own it? Because there's no syndication anymore. That ship sailed. You know? And then some network is going to go, hey, can we pay you 40 grand an episode? And then we're going to hire 200 people like we're just that aren't you know like it's going to cost us eight million dollars to make this but you're going to get 40 grand an episode and then we own it all so you can't even control where it goes you know you've been two years it's going to be on the al-Qaeda network

you know and you can't control it yeah or you know you just want to make sure you like own everything yeah you know and i think that it's like it's like i think that like um the pluogallar guys uh tyler perry are kind of the people to no i agree the comedians have to run it. Yeah. And they've all, you know, gaslit us into believing we're not good at business. And you guys sit at the kids' table. We're the adults.

Like, you guys haven't, we're the ones making money. We're the ones that when you guys aren't involved, people show up to see us talk. Yeah. But when you guys get involved, we make no money. I remember I did Ron White. His, he did a Comedy Central pilot like 15 years ago. Okay. And I was like the correspondent on it, just like the dumb idiot.

he showed up every day to a Comedy Central pilot. I was probably getting paid $500 maybe. And he showed up in a different Bentley every day. We got to like Brown. Like that's how many Bentley's he had. We got to like Brown by the end. He flew in on a private plane to do a Comedy Central pilot. And literally he was like, I'm losing so much money on this fucking television show.

I mean, because he wasn't touring. And then ultimately they wanted to make it. But he was like, I just can't. I can't make $150,000 a year. I'm Ron White. Yeah. You know? So it's like I just think that if comedians are in charge, we're going to know what to do.

But that's the power that comedians can have is they can show up to television and go, are you crazy? The comedians are brilliant a business. We figured out a way to make money from talking. Yeah. We're great a business. Yeah. Well, comedians, they can't do budgets. We can't.

Yeah. I had $7 for eight years. I can balance a budget, dude. Like, so I just think that like the only fans saying, me being able to run it myself with no executives. No one that wasn't a comedian had any say in anything. Yeah. And it was like magical.

Yeah. You know? So it's like I just think that like it's, we just got to step up and stop going like, who's going to help me make my show? It's like, you can do it. When bridesmaids came out, remember bridesmaids was like fucking massive. And then after bridesmaids came out, I was getting all these calls. It was like, hey, can you write the next bridesmaids?

We want you to make the next bridesmaids. Like we want the next bridesmaids. Like how about like four girls like, you know, on a work trip or like four girls on like a, you know, like a Bachelorette thing. And I was like, you guys are, you guys like do not understand. Don't emulate the thing that was just successful, the formula of three girls, sorry, four girls being drunk and weird and whatever. emulate the idea of an original idea.

Yeah. Don't try to do what they just did. It's going to be super obvious. And you're just basically like exploiting. And that's also you have to pay Kristen Wigg and Annie Mumalo for that. Because you're stealing their idea and just trying to put it in a different location. just make something original. That's what they did.

Yeah, yeah. You know? So it's like, that's what we're up against. Yeah. You know? Yeah. That's the main thing.

They're just like, ask for the same thing. Like, I think the less people involved, the better. Okay, so this special on Amazon, the highest compliment I can get is, it made me incredibly jealous and angry.

Wow. That's how good it is. And I know how big of a compliment that is. I literally was watching and I was like, God damn. I was like, fuck you. Like, damn it.

it. Damn it. Thank you. All right. I end these very awkwardly, as you can tell. I love your podcast. Thank you. Listening to your podcast actually makes me be less hard on myself because I'm just like,

I think I'm a mess when I do these. And I'm like, you know what? If you fuck with me, you fuck with me. If you don't, you don't. Yeah. No. But you know a lot. I was quiet, but I'm also taking this stuff in.

Like, I think what you say is very supportive. Well, I have so much to learn from you. I know a lot. I know, but there's a lot to learn from you. So, yeah, we're just be. Talk friends. Yeah. Let's be bros. Let's be homies. Do you what I'm saying? Yeah. I love you guys. You know where to find them. What a pleasure. Don't write elephants. Goodbye. Every day. Children's health is pushing the boundaries of incredible care for kids.

With groundbreaking research, innovative medical technology, and an award-winning team, children's health pushes for more cutting-edge treatments every day. Our relentless care teams work tirelessly to give kids, the care they need for the future they deserve. Together, we're providing more incredible care for kids across Dallas, Plano, and Beyond.