The Kristian Harloff Show - REWATCH! Jurassic Park 3 (2001)

Episode Date: April 29, 2022

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Hey, we're doing it digital today. Why? Because Winston screwed me up again. It's two weeks in a row. Yeah, he knows it. He's laughing, but he knows it. Screwed me up twice. And what you do is if you want to shoot something at 2.30, you tell Koi we're shooting it at 1245. And then he'll get there in time. Because other than that, this whole thing, it's a disaster. It's like Jurassic Park 3. That's what we're talking about today, guys. what a week we're having so far. What a week.

It's going to be interesting because we have this. We have the big spoiler review of Dr. Strange coming out on Monday. There's a lot. There's a lot. There's a lot. There's a lot. And I got my crew. And if you didn't know this already,

let everybody know that we're going to start kind of putting the big thing up basically five times a week. And how that's going to work is Monday and Tuesday and Thursday are going to be like kind of big thing proper, the episodes that you're used to with a guest and probably going to have Kate and Brett be regular members of the of the show and then we'll have a guest on and do that once we rearrange the studio and do all that Wednesday the big thing star war show is sith council it's officially on the big thing podcast and then friday will um be the rewatch we're just going to keep doing rewatches

every friday no matter what the hell it is we'll find something you know there's no big movies coming out we'll find something and the team will be me coy and winston so you'll be able to see us every friday i know people have really been enjoying the series so now you get it every week every Friday. So, and I think Coyne Winston knew that. If they don't, well, they just found it out. And if they were, if Coy was early, he would have found it out. And if Winston didn't scream me over, he would have found out in person. So that's

the case. That's the thing. That's the big thing. We got it. It's Jurassic Park 3, everybody. Let's do it. Come on. That's a stupid screenshot. You know, if I was in my studio right now with you guys doing OBS, then that wouldn't be the problem.

That wouldn't be a problem. You know, it's funny. I am totally, down to like cancel this commercial. I'm just going to need you to run me about eight grand Christian. So if you go with that, I'll, I'll never delay you again. Now, Winston, was it in the text?

Was it the text I sent that said 233, 230 earliest? That was confusing? Because I think I rushed over from seeing Dr. Strange footage to get here at 237, boys in the chat. I'm not going to say. But to understand this is why I, Winston, you do this to me again, I'm going to be upset with you because

Koi is basically, broadcasting from a sprite can right now you can't even listen to you can't even hear them shit would you prefer i go full body and just not show up uh sure but you you you you look you your your video is great your audio is great um coy you look wonderful do i got no you're irish how are you tan i i got sunburnt and it turned into this it's a one day thing it'll peel tomorrow don't worry it's fine okay all right look uh i don't i'm not going what's going to be more entertaining, us ripping on each other or or Jurassic Park 3? I don't.

All right. So what's hilarious about that is, so if you watched Jurassic, our Jurassic Park 2, the Los World last week, I was convinced that Alan Grant was in the second movie, because I had watched the beginning of the movie with the other one. Here's what I'm to tell you about Jurassic Park 3.

It is easily a way worse made, worse directed film than the same. second one. There's no doubt about it. However, I think the story is better in this one. I do think the story is better. Well, it's one story. Like, it's, it's a, it's an amusement park ride. So you've only got one trajectory to take. So it kind of works in that it knows what it is as opposed to Lost World felt like it was trying to be Jurassic Park One while also being an amusement park ride. So if we're going to get it a compliment, it's at least honest in its silliness. Yeah, it's, there's, there's nothing, there's nothing fresh about this movie.

There's at all. It's it's a complete like rehash. They just go back to the same island. They do revisit a lot of the same locations, which is interesting too. I never noticed that the first time I had seen it when they go through that, the same vending machine that they pop through. And, and then Dickie Maltesanti kicks in the,

he kicks in the, you knew that was Dickey Maltesante, right, Coy? Yeah, I was really, I didn't know what as a kid, obviously. I was really excited this time. So he kicks in. the thing and then William H. Macy was playing a dope. But I didn't, but I really also going back and watching this and realize that what I don't like at all is

Tia Leone is such a great actress. Wasted. They let her do nothing. Oh, she's just kind of the screaming, scared woman the whole time. It's, it is it's, it's bad. And, and I'm going to give the girl in the second one a little more props

because I thought she was the worst kid. This kid's running around in a leaf outfit. And running around with the dinosaurs. I've been here for eight weeks. You'd be dead. You'd eat up beans. Come on.

This child, I didn't realize y'all didn't tell me that what the Boy Scouts actually is, is white kids learning how to be Rambo. Like how the hell did this kid know how to throw gas grenades, get T-Rex P? Like, and that part was so dumb. All of it was done. It's like, if they're like, look, because here's the funny part. They don't give a crap. No one cares about this kid because.

But like, so Alan Grant calls Laura Dern. She sends the Marines. She sends, they all just show up and they show up in like two hours, right? This kid's been there for eight weeks. It's like no one. Suddenly someone cares. Why are rich as hell? You're telling me the parents have all that money.

They're not rich, remember? That's the twist. I guess they would have been lying. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, okay. Yes, yes, yes.

So more people don't have any clout. Laura Dern does. But it was just hilarious. It's so dumb. But even if Laura Dern was able to call, like why she has so much clout that the Marines would show up, and she shut, the army,

whatever, they show up. And, but they're there in like an hour, like an hour. And it's like, who did she marry? Because that's what I was trying to figure out.

Is he a senator or something? She was able to get the Marines? Even so. This is really like the cell phone. This is 2001. So I don't know if he had a cell phone on him, but she just kissed him goodbye. So she would have had to

There's so much more that would have had to You didn't even see her again You just saw in that one scene You did like like You know what I call when I call spectrum I'm on the phone I can't get somebody to come over And fix my modem

In it they Oh yeah we have an appointment for one For next May What? Between 5 and 9 p.m. Next May The army What are you guys doing?

right now. I'm nothing, just watching the Depp herd trial. Listen, we want you to, we want you to go and pick up the doctor from the other thing. He's got, the dinosaurs are chasing them. Okay. Are you a top paleontologist? I will be there. Thank you, top paleontologists. Thank you. Who are you?

Oh, I'm the one. I retired and I got my kid now. And so I was, I was in the lost world. I was really good in the lost world. So you should hold. Holdo. I'll be Holdo in a couple of years. purple hair got me send the tanks so stupid

yo can I can we can we talk about the one thing that I finally connected the dots though that makes sense I was trying to realize why the hell would he imagine the raptor saying his name and I realize it's because he had that wild ass conversation with

Laura Dern about the raptors were able to communicate with each other so that's yeah I didn't connect those dots I just thought that he's so scared of going back to Jurassic Park That a rapture goes, I'm there. But that all adds. They didn't spell it out very well in fairness.

No, it all adds out up to a stupid moment too, the eggs, which is a repeated beat from the second movie with the, this time it's not the raptors. I mean, excuse me, it's not the T-Rexes, it's the raptors. And then they're all communicating and there's a ton of different times they could have pounced on them. And they didn't. And then finally, oh, they don't want or they just want the eggs, right? Well, why don't they just rip your guts out and take the eggs? And also at no point have we met Raptors that, wouldn't want to consume.

Like there's still flesh. They're still meat. There's still dinner. And why did they let him live at the end? Because he's blowing through a horn and the side. It sounded, I mean, it sounded horrible.

He's just, it's like, oh, they think that you're actually communicating with them. No, they don't. Stupid. And then no one thought it was confused as shit.

The Raptors were like, what is this? Oh. Yo, it would literally be like if Christian went to the hood right now. It was like, hey,

yo, let me go ahead and get that two pieces. And then they were like, what is this white boy talking about? You're saying words that I'm, I'm familiar with the not in that order or phrasing. No. What are these?

No. It's terrible. And there's so much dumb things happen because they don't set the kid up to be Rambo when he's on the paragliding thing at first. They said him a scared kid, which he should be. And then he goes Tarzan in eight weeks. I did like that scene. I think that the whole, it would have been a lot better. First of all, the kid, here's another thing.

The kid is such a good. He's throwing gas bombs. He's getting the peas. doing everything yet he lets his buddy just rot in a tree he's not strong christian he's a child find a way to what the argument's going to be the arguments will be that he probably died on impact that's probably going to be the argument that but it wasn't really addressed but either either way you can't just let him sit there and it's like all of that but i did like that opening scene in Jurassic park the the franchise in general seems to have that problem it's got a lot of times it's got a great opening scene

with a lot of things afterwards, it doesn't deliver. And it's funny, a lot of times we've talked about it on this show, especially Dr. Strange was one, the Spider-Man movies were one, where the rewatch has enhanced the movie for us, right? This is the exact opposite. I remember saying for a lot of times that I thought three was a better movie than two, I take that back. It's not a better, it's not a better movie.

I think I still enjoy watching the story overall. I think as a dinosaur monster movie, this is the better one with it has all these big kind of moments for the whole thing. It's the second one is it's Spielberg. It's way better directed. It's better acted. There's no argument. And there's subplots.

There's actual like character motivation. There's nuance. It's not all good, but it exists. There's no nuance. Trying to do something different at least, even though there's some repeated beat. This is just repeated beats over and over and over again.

But it's like, and the family and this and and the parents, even though it's Tileoni and William H. Macy, they're not likable people. Like even the guy dies and she's like, you jerk, you'll leave me alone? It's like, he's like, I'm not going anywhere. It's like, oh, that's a cute moment. No, it's not. She just called him a jerk until they was dead.

These are terrible people. Yeah, no one in this film really is redeeming except the kid that is somehow overpowerful. Yeah, no, they, they, they kept him marveled him. They gave him too much power for sure as far as like the minute the, he's, you see him. Like, you know what I'm saying? when Marvel, when Captain Marvel realizes how much power she has, it's like, you just O.Ped everything. It's the same thing. This kid should, anything.

Have the kid miss a leg. Give me something that I'm like, yo, he's seen some stuff. He survived being Mel Gibson's kid in the Patriot, and that elevates him. He survived that. He wasn't. That's right. Alan Grant, though, also, there's nothing new with this character in this movie. Nothing new.

Like, he doesn't, like, in the first movie, he, like, he was a guy that was so, and they referenced it in this movie that he love dinosaurs so much and then he gets and he makes the reference of that's before they try to eat me but he you see him go through this thing the stuff with the kids and how he is not he's he's not been able to relate to the kids and at the very end he he does and so he the character goes through a really big arc and he's really the main um protagonist in the whole film and this he's the main protagonist but like the only thing he's really the angle he's got is him and billy and he insults billy's like oh i was going to try to help us out and steal the eggs he's like you're as bad as they are and then he oh and then you think he dies which you know he doesn't from the way that

it's shot and then they don't even really redeem it he just shows up at the end he's like oh i'm alive uh i got your hat okay cool that's the priority what it's this is a this is a this is not good there are some things that i think work like some of the few things one we found out that laura durn this is the beginning of us realizing she ages very much like a fine wine like but she is who we we do learn that alan was so obsessive and maybe shut down so much from Jurassic Park that he kind like they're still friends but like whatever little romance was there she went off and found another dude I did like that Winston I actually made that point on our Jurassic uh world Jurassic Park two uh really I heard it but I'm gonna pretend but now you didn't

embarrass yourself uh right um but I I guess the only thing I will say is the only improvement and we already sort of addressed it a little bit is that you've at least given us a different motivation. You're not talking about corporate greed this time. You're talking about desperate parents. And I'll give you that so that we at least have some other way to jack in. But damn, man.

It's a lot of all around. What about the dinosaurs sneaking up on them at the fence? You have the, like, that doesn't make any sense to me. Dinosaurs sneak up on them all over the place. There's dinosaurs that are popping up on the, like, the teradactal scene when it shows up. and it just, hi, how you doing? I'm from Peeley's Playhouse.

And there's that scene. There's the one that sneaks up in the water. The T-Rex, they're showing you, I ain't about the T-Rex this time. And did they even have a, I guess they kind of did with the very end was, there was no really anti-climactic. They set up the one that eats the phone and poops it out.

That was like the main one. But it doesn't really even have that much of a huge art. The Spinosaurus doesn't really have, well, didn't they try to do that again in Jurassic World by having that? Like, they always do like, bigger than the T-Rex. Right. Yeah, like they always try to escalate kind of like the bigger fish thing.

I also realize that the Jurassic franchise, now that it's going into its sixth installment, is kind of like the Fast and Furious franchise where they have lead actors drop out, come back, and then they have big reunion film at the last arc of its series. So this six is kind of like Fast 8. Yes. Well, it's the nostalgia part of it also that really that is playing. And whether it's Spider-Man or any of the, a lot of these movies, I would look, Top Gun. There's a lot of movies right now that are playing,

that they're playing off nostalgia and if you do it the right way like i i'm going to quote mark bernard and to the day i die now with this one i had him on the show he we were talking about nostalgia and he said it very well um nostalgia if it's sprinkled in during during something and and it's executed over a good story then it works perfectly but if it's just nostalgia for the sake of nostalgia then then you that's when you find yourself in trouble and that's the question of what this new one will be But this movie, the other thing that I'll add that I really liked about it, that Marvel for a long time was not doing that I had a massive problem with. A lot of movies in franchises don't do this. And I have an issue with it.

This movie, however, did use John Williams score a lot. And they didn't try because it wasn't Spielberg. It was Joe Johnson. So they didn't go away from let's just come up with a new score. Because I think that's what they wind up doing in Jurassic World. if I'm not mistaken, but I again, I have to watch that. I've only seen it the once. Actually, I'm not excited, but I'm curious.

I'm curious to watch again. Me too. Yeah. I'm excited now because for me, I went into Jurassic World having seen scar, spare scenes of the original Jurassic Park and not giving two shits about any of this. Yeah. So I was just confused most of the time where people were like, oh, B.D. Wong. I was like, cool.

law and order SVU. Like I didn't, I didn't equate him to, exactly, I didn't equate him to Jurassic Park. So I'm excited now to be able to connect the dots, but I don't know. Yeah, and I still haven't seen the second one. It's going to be our first watch. I'm excited about it.

I haven't either. Do not be excited about that one. That's a bad movie. Worst in Jurassic Park 3. Oh, yeah. I enjoy watching Jurassic Park 3. I, even watching it again. Like I can acknowledge it's not a good movie, but I didn't, I didn't mind.

I watched like, I watched a lot of, last night I wound up watching around. I think it's like it's close to a two hour movie. I watched about an hour and 40 minutes of it. And then I finished the rest of it today. But I think, Winston, you said it. It's just like it's like an action ride or whatever. It's just like a, it's a muse park ride. And that's what it felt like.

It's not a great one. Do you want to go on that again? No, not really. But it was fun to go on. Let's go get a beer. I take that back There's another redeeming quality of this film That I appreciate I actually like the exploration

Of how smart the Raptors truly are So I love the fact that they set a trap with With with with what it's Olansky or whatever his name is Where they like I like cut out his spine And so they got to save him And as soon as they go they're like surprise motherfuckos And you realize by the way There are some cool deaths in this one

Like even Yeah it's more of the horror That was the vibe in the early 2000s where it's like horror thriller. I like that. I mean, in the beginning when it, because I didn't know what they were getting with at the top when they had,

I mean, because the mercenaries or the crew that they hire or whatever they think that the mercenaries, they go quick. Like the hired guns, we found out that the one guy wasn't even, he was like a whatever, he was lied about whatever it was or said, he's like,

I never said I was a mercenary. I'm a salesman or whatever the hell he was. The other guys who don't know who they were. We just know they're dead. And he had, the one guy had the phone. the and they just they both ate it quick the one who who cracked um dr grand in the head on the plane he ate it first so you can't you can't hit sam neil or you die that's that's the thing about

this movie is like everyone except the people we've already met for the sake of nostalgia it's kind of irredeable so like we don't feel for either the parents or for the mercenaries or for like everyone just okay no but bill i thought billy was okay billy he didn't do it he never he never did anything wrong he stole the eggs he stole the eggs he stole the eggs he stole the eggs because he was trying to do he was trying to help but that was also so stupid that's the problem it's hard it's you're a paleontologist how are you're supposed to not as dumb as putting on a t-rex jacket full of blood well not as dumb as that's yeah that's that's that's still the dumbest moment we've seen so far and keeping it on and bringing and bringing the te rec bringing a child into your bloody jacket

van that so that she's julia more still takes the cake but but dicky maltosanti coming up a second with this real close second steal the raptors eggs and and and but you know and but i want to again bad writing also like yes he shouldn't have had the he shouldn't have the bag but what's this weirdo thing where alan grant won't give him his bag back it's like imagine Winston you're like what yeah imagine Winston you're walking through and i got your bag and i'm like no i got it man it's cool and you're like yeah you sure i'm like yeah i'll carry it and then that's the end of it but then you're like no i want my bag back i'm like that's cool and then you're like Am I my bag back?

I got it. No, I'm scary. You're just making sure I don't steal any more Raptor eggs. I also love that I got involved in this somehow that it was my bag of stolen goods. I didn't say you stole it. You had a perfectly good coin right there. I just mean your bag in general.

I just mean your bag in general. It was too easy. It was like a, Oh, oh, that's, that's a numb, num, sack lunch, mother. It's the truth. No, but I mean, look, this is that, I just, that type of stuff, that's just thing, not great writing because it, it's just a matter

of like, oh, we got to get Grant to somehow find these eggs in Billy's bag. Yeah, let's just have him, like, not give his bag back. And it's like, why? I was like, yeah, because, you know, he's like a father figure to him. It's like, dude, give the guy's bag back. And so that whole thing, but, but it gets to the point. where Billy's not a bad guy. And Sam Neal finally says that at the end.

He's like, nah, he's just young. And he was doing his thing. And I was mean to him. And you see, because then he takes the hand glider and he goes after that. Those types of scenes as silly and stupid as they are. And that's the other thing. I mean, you got to completely, in all these movies, he's got to suspend disbelief.

But this movie, it really asks you because here's the tarotactal picking up this kid who is, I mean, looks like, he was, he was in, The kid was in good shape when he did he's packing on pounds while he's on while he's in the jungle, which is again, again, no shaming saying he's the kid, kid looks healthy. Kid looks real healthy. But if you're in the jungle for eight weeks, you ain't looking like that. You're going to be dirty. You're going to be like you're going to be overly skinny because if you're just,

you're living on beans and, and, and, and how's he, you, guys, hold on a second. What's wrong? I got diarrhea again. I've been drinking this water. for the last, you know, eight weeks. I got diarrhea. Like that's, it was, it's, this movie's stupid. I want to give full credit to the versatility of dinosaurs.

I think that's my favorite part of this film is that it not, like, the second one gave us comps and like, you know, a flash of a stegosaurus, but it was largely the same dinosaurs from dress, Park to Lost World as their leads. I think introducing taradactals was clever because it adds an aerial fear. I think introducing, you know, a more broad range of dinosaurs was a highlight,

but that also kind of made it more of that amusement, park ride whereas like, oh, they don't matter anymore because we turn that corner. Like every time you're in this world, you're just like take a left and you're like, it's like going through Disney World and Disneyland and it's like, oh, we're in the, we're in this part. Oh, there's the Peter Pan ride. Okay, now we're out of there now. Now we're by the teacups. I never felt fear last because I was like, oh, we're in this zone now. Yeah. And then I even said that one moment where he says to him, he's like, the kid knows. The kid knows that as, as you get closer, they get bigger. Why that is, no one really explains. And, and, and, and, and, and, and, and,

And the same thing where William H. Macy, who's a complete imbecile in this movie, is just like, oh, no, they get smaller every time you walk through. Who's saying any of this? Well, no, no, but I think that was, that was the one thing that tracked for me is that William H. Macy has no idea what he's talking about. He goes, right, though. He would go, you know, he'd go in where both the kid and Sam Neal are like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Fine, fine, fine, fine. Now, that's not what I'm saying. But explain to me, why?

why the animal's bigger? Why? Well, I think the only explanation there was that, no, I'm not. That Dr. Grant was tired of telling us everything. So he's just like, that's just a fact. Get over it. That's dinosaur fact, bro. Like, that would be able big.

End of logic. And like, why on an island are they all so separate? Like, why are they all in different little categories on the island? Yeah, and then the fact that they find, the kid hears how they finally, after he's with Dr. Grant and he finally finds his mom and his dad and he finds he because he hears the phone and then he's like oh the phone oh oh we didn't have the phone and he looks over in the dinners was like hey guys I got the phone on my belly and it's it's and it goes back to the same point that we had last last week for it was nine these movies

were coming out four years apart from each other because the first one was what 93 right koi was 93 yeah so 93 then 97 was the second one and then this was 2001 So it's every four years up and then and then it was 14 years later before we got the next one. But it shows you the same point that we made last week that the landscape of the blockbuster and what was hitting at that point. I want to see what the biggest movie was in 2001. This definitely felt like a 2001 action movie, which is what I was speaking to before with like the horror thriller element. Because remember in 2001 everything was like it's action comma blank. It was either like action comedy, action drama, action horror.

Nothing was just a genre in that early 2000s wave. And I definitely feel like this suffered for it because this was in that what like this was post six cents in that weird resident evil underworld phase. If memory serves. Well, listen to listen. So this is this to show you how different the landscape is today that I'm going to tell you some of the movies that were popular in 2001 in general. It's not just summer. It's not just summer. And if you look at the movies that come out today,

a lot of these movies wouldn't stand a chance, right? And, and, boy, you're going to, one of the movies, you're going to go, of course. But one of these is Atlantis, a knight's tale. Yeah. There you go. Spy kids. The mummy returns.

Tomb Raider, scary movie two, Pearl Harbor, for God's sakes. Planet of the Apes, Legally Blonde, Hannibal, along came a spider, not another team movie. Harry Potter and the sort of. for a stone. It's probably the biggest one of the year if I was to guess. The wedding planner, heartbreakers, uh, hardball,

shallow howl, good Lord. Dude, might is shallow howl. You're making some bangers, bro. Legally blonde dog. Sam Levine's,

Sam Levine's vessel, uh, what, what, not another team movie and Chris Evans as well. I know, I know. There's a lot of bangers in there.

I'm just, I'm not telling you, I'm not telling you that there's aren't a lot of movies in here that didn't do very well and something like legally blonde that became like classics to a lot of people right 20 years later i'm just telling you that you put legally blonde up against a dc or a marvel or star wars movie see later right oh legally blonde's a bad example because it falls into that same category of like what the sandra bullock side of it but like you know when you're looking at some of these movies that just people just don't don't most these movies get made and put on streaming now

yeah hardball be straight to streaming which is too bad it's great yeah Shrek came out Fast and Furious came out in 2001 right so like but there's training day fellowship of the ring

Lord of the Rings so there is so those were like the really massive ones but Vanilla Sky I mean Black Hawk down there's a lot of movies that came out in 2001 but like

it's so different back then so like when that and I wonder I want to see what Jurassic Park 3 did I feel like Black Hawk down might even be a straight to straight to HBO nowadays Like I'm just wondering what still can exist.

Yeah, right? Like a hard R. Ridley Scott War movie. That's a hard movie to get made now. With that cast, that expense, that scope. Yeah. All right. So this movie.

When Sixth Underground went straight to Netflix, that's when I realized we were in a slippery. Like, not that Michael Bay is an chore, but like the cost of that movie. Well, how much do you think Jurassic Park 3 cost to make? Again, 2001. 185. And Winston.

I'll give it two. I think. You guys are not thinking in 2000. In 2001. Okay. Let me run it back then. All right. Give me,

give me 115. I'll go 140. 93. It's not. This was less than $100 million. Remember, $100 million movies weren't like when in 2005, when I was at Warner Brothers, 100 million, 120 million was still like the top was like the top thing.

People weren't spending that much money. Like, 93 million on a Blockbuster movie was a lot of money in 2000. So, I think 20 years ago was a long time, but it's not that long. I just found another really retaining quality about this movie. Probably the best thing about this movie. Profit. It's an hour and 32 minutes. That's true.

I did appreciate. And then you just said it took you two days to watch. I was like, there's no way. I'm ready. No, because what happened was I realized last night, it wasn't two hours. what happened was because I thought I'm like I watched a lot of this how did I watch so much of it and I had already seen the 10 minutes that I'd watch when I thought I was part of part two and so then I started watching where I left off last night and then my wife and I started watching

Ozar and I realized today only like 15 minutes left I'm like oh man I must have watched like close to two hours of this last night I didn't I must have watched maybe an hour an hour because 10 minutes hour 20 minutes I watched about 15 or 20 minutes today I watched The first 15 minutes when I watched it and I watched about an hour last night. So this is a short movie overall, but it costs 93 million to make. And this is probably something that at the time, it didn't do very well. They thought it didn't do very well. But I think when you look at the standard, it made $181 million domestically.

Right. So with marketing budget and it's with marketing of domestic, it probably breaks even right there. Right. However, internationally, it made about 187 million, so grand total around $360. So it made about $400 million. Now, let's see what the second one did. Yeah, I guarantee the drop off is big enough. That's why they waited 14 years.

Also, a million dollars a minute's not bad. I mean, if you look at a $93 movie, $93 movie. Yeah, so, okay, so how much do you think the budget was for the lost world, Jurassic Park 97, after what we just talked about? I still think it was more expensive. I'm going to say 105. Because Spielberg's involved, I also think it's more expensive, but I'll go, this was 90 what, the first one? This is the second one, 97.

We'll get to the first one in the second. Okay. No, no, no, I'm saying the three was 97. No, no, no. It was 2001. This is 97's lost world. Oh, you're giving me the date, not the number. Got it.

Okay. I think Spielberg, I think Spielberg got a. So it was less, but he still got a lot. Winston was closer, but it was 73. 73 million. Again, 97. Remember, 97 at $73 million. Remember, ticket prices are significantly lower.

Oh, yeah, they're like $6 at this point. Remember, they're very low. So going off of what we talked about, where you have domestically, this movie, the $229 million, and internationally it did almost $400 million for, so $618,000 for part two. So you're looking at a drop off there of what, almost $3,000. 300 million dollars or something like that. Yeah. That's why they paused the franchise. Absolutely.

Even though they made money on it, it's still, now let's see what the first one did. They made profit, but they didn't make Blockbuster profit to what they were expecting. Right, right, right, right. Okay, so now we're at the first one. 1993. What do you think the budget is? It's the best practical in CGI combo, but I'm going to still say about the second one. I'll go 75 on this one.

I'll go 40. Winston, I see what you're doing there. But you're shot really low there. But 63, 63. I was finally closer. I made 63. But it's funny, though, because this is again, and how much do you think it made in its opening weekend? $63 million.

It's such a, and I'm just fascinated. Normally we don't go over the box office, but I'm so fascinated by the difference in how the business works now. Like, what do you think the opening was for a $63 million movie? Well, it used to be five. dollars like universally. I'll say it was a hit because people kept going.

I'll say 20 mil. Okay. I'm going to go 35. It's 47 mil for opening. I almost made their money back in the first weekend. The first weekend and it will, you know, minus marketing.

But domestically it made $404 million. International, internationally made $700 million. It's for $1.9 billion. Right. So. Wow, dude. So when you're-

That cost that little? made one point something billion so it's it's it's one of the biggest hits of all time so 1.9 so you go from and so that's why they halted the franchise because you go from 1.9 to um then 618 they probably thought that was a loss back then back then they probably because they profited a billion dollars yeah so they're like oh the profit because they think a lot of times you want the sequel to do more so then when the third one comes out and it goes 368 they're like this it's over because yeah and you just start doing the math, and you're like, if we put this thing out again in 2005, what are we going to make next time? We're going to get a loss. Like, that's because you would, if you start to do the math,

if you're the suits in the room, you go, this costs 93 million. We've lost 70% each time. If the next one costs 115 to make in 2005, or 2004 wouldn't make it. And it, and holy crap, we're going to be at a loss. Nobody's anymore. Yeah. I mean, I mean, it makes sense why they've backed off. I just, I don't know. It makes sense why nostalgia is the way to come back with this sixth one or another review. Right, because people weren't caring as much anymore about Jurassic Park.

He's like, yeah, there's no, there's no take on it that works anymore. Because they're not doing anything new. Everything about that first one was brand new and fresh. You got some of the best actors involved, not that you didn't for these remaining ones, but you didn't give them anything to work with. Oh, there was nothing. It wasn't the actor's fault. The writers didn't write.

But I think, you know, what's funny is that they should have went more actual horror with it because this was, even though the harm elements in the beginning with the plane scene, they should have stuck with that. And it should have made it more like of a scary like, because there's some terrifying moments in the first one, right? You get a little bit of the scary moment just with the

plane in this one. For the rest of it, just kind of a silly kind of King Kong Godzilla movie. And the jump scares don't really work because everything we've described is so silly like, boom, I'm a dinosaur. And that's why I'm so afraid of the second, the lost world, second Jurassic world is like, I've seen some screenshots of like spooky raptor

hands. And I'm like, oh no. We'll talk about it. That said, I don't know if you guys saw the profit breakdown margin of No Way Home. Do you guys see that? What, $610 million profit? So the movie made $1.9 billion. The profit was $610 million, which throws off all of my marketing math because it costs, you know, $2207 million to make. That should be a $440 million.

So where's that extra $1 plus? Like, that's a lot of money and change. I highly recommend the article. Where did you get the $440 from? Marketing is usually about 100. I've heard it's usually the production cost, you just double it. Oh, really? So if the movie costs, I've heard that too.

Yeah, you just double the production cost. Because think about how much more they have to do with marketing now. You got to get social media. You got to get boosts around. I know. I think they have a set. I don't know. Who the hell knows?

Either way, I'm in a lot. Either way, I was shocked that the profit was only $600 for a $2 billion movie. But this is why, and I know that we're going to do this anyway next week when we talk about Jurassic World. but I want to we're we're talking about this from Jurassic Park 3 and then it ends because they the way that they end that movie what I did like also another thing that I found that I myself liking I like the way that they mentioned it's brief but they mentioned Jeff Goldblum in it and they still have that little rivalry that they have he asked when he's talking

the kid about his books and he's like he's like what would you think about Ian's book and he's like I just seen a little pompous and he's like yeah we're going to get along that was great it keeps that thing alive that I'm sure they're going to have in the next one But all right, so Jurassic World then comes out 14 years later. Now, let's do it. Let's do a little fun game. How much do you think the budget was on Jurassic World?

Oh, dude, way higher. Now, Chris Pratt is already Star Lord. They're doing a full revival, and I'm thinking about Force Awakens. I'm going to say, let's give an even number, 250. Oh, okay. I'm going to go 175 because it's not an IP that people are as invested in, but it still needs the budget to be a blockbuster. You're way closer, 150.

And they billioned that. They didn't start doing 200. They didn't start doing 200 million until like the Avengers and all this stuff started having X-Men Days of Future Pass was the biggest one at the time. And it was like 230. And that was insane for them to spend. And that was around the same time, but they had what 10 X-Men movies to set up? You double check that.

I remember thinking days of future past was like the biggest budget of the time. It was 200. Yeah. 200. Yeah. So like that's insane. That's a lot. Yeah.

It's a lot of money for that. But and those that the day of the $200 million movie, I think minus, you know, the, the Marvel stuff is going to go down because you can't. You can't. You can't. You can't. We're talking about 20 years ago with movie tickets costing five bucks. You can't incrementally. like I'm not going to spend $45 in a movie ticket.

No. Absolutely. Yeah, and this movie made. You know what I mean? Like if the math is the math, like that's not the way it works. But this movie Jurassic World, by the way, and again, I know we're still doing Jurassic Park 3 here, but Jurassic World made 7, almost, 653 domestically. Wow.

We wanted dinosaurs back. And do you know how much you made internationally? I'd say more international. I'm going to go 800 international. Um, six five, six hundred fifty made a billion dollars internationally. Whoa. Whoa. A total of one point six.

So that is why and now now and that's why I think this is relevant to Jurassic Park three because looking at what we just did with Jurassic Park one into Jurassic Park two. The loss was, you know, a little bit and whatever it was, but Jurassic World, the second one. Let's see what the second one was. The second one. loss in quality they're about 20% lesser films but Jurassic world the second budget now was 170 and that was a lot because they but dude it made 1.3 billion so a little less than the first

but still substantial profit enough where you go ahead once you cross one billion it doesn't matter how close you got to the other one you still cross yeah it's still a billion that's wild you still get a ring if you get if you get a good movie to make you like a billion. I didn't see it. It's, it's, oh,

I didn't realize that Koi was such a large amount. No, but I'm playing the, no, I'm playing the mic. He likes it. Yeah,

yeah, yeah, yeah. If I didn't see it, that's not great. But yeah, but that's the thing. It makes,

it makes that much, but that is why it leads into, going back to what we said about this, the Jurassic Park 3, after that third movie, they looked at the math, and they said,

no more, we can't do it. Then they come up with a take, and they figure out how to do and re, re, What year does this drop? Jurassic World?

2015, right around. Is that same way? That's the same year. So you think maybe they just got wind that it was happening? And they were like, we got to come up with our own. I mean, maybe. Remember, Kathleen Kennedy was a producer on the first Jurassic Park. So she probably knew.

And I don't even know, she might be, she might be involved in it. I don't remember. I don't know if she still has. Good for her. What a combo of franchises. Remember, she worked with Spielberg forever. But, and that's how she also. was was involved with travaro bleeding into you know because he he became the billion dollar kid and like

yeah when he did it because he did it off and that that's a that's a big win but again we'll cover all this when we call drastic world but it just shows that it makes sense why you would make a third one obviously um and now with it with this movie you have to commend them for totally revamping because you couldn't I think taking this 15 year break was a smart move after watching this movie because it's not what else can you really say about this movie except if they don't have sam neal in this movie and they don't and they and i wonder if they even asked jeff goblum and he said no thanks i have to imagine they'd ask especially after the second one was like his leading role like it went from him being an ensemble player to the lead um so i imagine they asked but i also imagine

he saw the drop off in lost world and didn't want that on his resume because he wasn't like he got popular he regained his 90s popularity recently. Like, if you look at the Goldblum Renaissance, it was not happening in 2001. You know, there was a quiet period. There was an article that I'm looking at it says

why Ian Malcolm didn't return in Jurassic Park 3. This was from screen rant. Jeff Golem was notably absent in Jurassic Park 3 after starring in the first two franchise films. Here are the possible explanations for why. I mean, I can tell you why the possible reasons. That's what I'm saying. He's the Paul Walker of the Jurassic Parks.

He's in the first two. Tags out for Tokyo drift. Vin Diesel makes a cameo. They all come back for five. He does make a cameo. And I think it's the second one. He comes back and makes cameo. Fast and Furious Jurassic Park.

They got a collab. They're both universal. Let's have T. Rex is driving cars. Bless you. There was rumors. The first rumor explanation claim that Goldman was never invited to come back. It's important to note that the installment was the first Jurassic Park, not directed by Steven Spielberg.

Joe Johnson may have felt that since Malcolm was a primary figure, in a lost world, it was time to shift focus. A contradicting rumor suggests that Goldblum was set to return for Jurassic Park 3, but injured his leg shortly after the film started. The rumor also claimed that Goldman then decided to drop out of the movie since he heard the movie sucks.

No, he didn't say that. To drop out of the movie since his role wasn't crucial to the plot. If that was the case, he probably had a brief cameo like Dr. Sattler did. So either of the scenes, scenarios is plausible. Okay, well, I mean, that's probably what happened at that.

Honestly, I'm glad he wasn't in it. I think that it was good for, and it was good for Alan to have the shine because I think that even though you look at the movies that we've rewatched, and as they add up to the movie we're about to see, we will have a lot of history with both of them now. And they all have, and they had their own adventure to shine,

and then when they come back together, it would have been great if maybe in Jurassic Park 4, then Ellie would have had her own movie and her own adventure to do. But that just wasn't, how it went down. I'm excited to see what Laura Durbin comes back with. I don't think I honestly based on how things were going, I don't think she would have been like,

yeah, you know what, sign me up. That sounds like a good plan right now. I think that she, everyone, it wasn't just the execs. We're like,

let's, let's bounce. Because I wouldn't be surprised if maybe they looked at this. It doesn't do super great, but they're like, would anybody want it? And they're like, nah,

we got better things. Yeah, I'm sure. It's like, yeah, we're three into this thing. It keeps, we,

I'm telling you, it was probably, It was probably a cut our losses scenario. Look, we got lucky. We made, we, we didn't take a loss in this thing. We made some money on it. And if the math adds up, the next one's going to fail. So, yeah, we should, we should bail.

And 14 years is the perfect amount of time for nostalgia and for people that grew up with it to start having kids or for kids that grew up with them to be old enough. Like, it's the right amount of, it's a generation. Well, and the technology grew. And the technology. When you look at what Jurassic Park did for technology and movies in 2019, and then what the movie business, how it evolved with the tech that you're like, well, you know, there's probably another one of those conversations. You know, we should kind of think about Jurassic Park now because we imagine what we can

actually do and how great the dinosaurs looked in 93. Imagine what they could look like in 2015. And little did they know. They'd look better in 93. Well, I mean, it's, it's just, it's, it goes to that. I want to, I'm going to save judgment. I want to save judgment until I watch Jurassic World next week because I was, I was, Because I am with you guys.

I am excited to revisit at least Jurassic World, right? Because I found myself watching that movie and enjoying. I remember having a conversation with Dan Merle, who does not like that movie at all. And being like, to me, very similar to way that we just described this movie, that it's like an action of park adventure,

but it's also right after Chris Pratt coming off of Star Lord and all that. And it's right as he was going through. his boom. So I don't know. I'm I'm pumped to watch it again because I'm curious to see. The best thing I can say about the trilogy is that the first movie feels like behind the scenes on the park like you're actually immersed. The second movie feels like you're lost in a world that has dinosaurs, but you're specifically trapped. And the third one feels like you're on a ride, a la what the first movie tried to sell you. My issue with the Jurassic World movies is

they felt more like they were chasing the ideals of the first movie. instead of actually being what I just described with three different flavors. So I'd rather a movie have a specificity than to be broad strokes like color by numbers. I'm hoping this third new one, like Jurassic World Three, don't. I think, I think he's right,

Coy. I love your optimism. I try and model my optimism after yours. I think you gotta just be really real about this, bro. You're not really real. This is what I did this morning. I had had my coffee. So I did a reaction to the trailer of the new Jurassic world. And I said, look, this movie just looks like a fun action movie.

It just looks like a fun summer popcorn movie. There's really nothing else to it. That's what it looks like. And some guy writes on the comments and he goes, he quoted what I said. And he goes, well, why? He's like, well, what do you expect it to be some high, highfalutin, think piece? He goes, what a stupid statement. And I, and I, my first instinct was to write back, how about you eat my balls?

You guys, why didn't you? I deleted. I did. I wrote it. I wrote it and then I deleted it. And but I laughed and I deleted his, I think I'd just hit him off the channel in general. But like I just, because it's like, I don't mind if someone then will, will write and say, what do you mean by that? Because is like, if someone were like, well, what do you mean by that?

Isn't it supposed to be like a fun summer action? And I think it goes off the point of what, not just like stupid. it just exactly what koi just said and that was the kind of the point is that there's something more to Jurassic park the first one than just a big summer blockbuster movie it certainly is that but there's more to it this doesn't seem like there's any more to it except just go grab popcorn and have fun and that's well that the flip side of that i'm not saying that those movies aren't important and they don't exist but like what i what we're about to potentially see at a doctor strange what we've seen of a number of Marvel movies. Some of them are on a, they're just blockbuster tip, but most of

them are actually trying to hint at something. You know what I mean? Like, I don't think I've cried more at a movie than probably Black Panther in Infinity War because they're hitting you on emotional strings with real storylines. You're attached to what's going on. You're attached a lot of characters. Well, by the way, and I know this is Jurassic Park, talk about emotionally attached, and I've been talking about this for a while, Moon Night, last episode? Dude, so many years. I've said it so behind. And I don't like, it's so funny.

I said that to me, it is the best episode of Marvel television that I've seen so far. And I'm not asking people to agree with me, but some people who we know said, well, that's not true. To you. Yeah. It's so weird how my opinion of my experience is my opinion. Well, Mike was talking about it. And it's like, you know, Christian thought that it was best. And a few people were like, no, it's, no, that's not true.

It's like, yeah, it is to me. Yeah, I think Christian's favorite episode is in fact the fifth of Moon Night. To me, it's the best episode of Marvel. Because of what you're talking about, Coy, it's that emotional attachment to, Winston, excuse me, to the characters and the understanding of it and being that invested. And that's what you want from any movie that you see. But I don't think, I don't think you're going to get there with this franchise. I think this franchise.

I've always said the best way to have an action franchise is to the punches land twice. and that means you care about both sides of it, right? Like the reason Daredevil is good is because you get Vincent Donofrio. So when Daredevil's choking them out, the punches land twice. The problem I have at Jurassic Park is it's almost like diminishing returns

of the experience. Remember when did The Matrix one of these, like the very beginning of the rewatches? What I love about the Matrix is how much it reflects our life and the whole thing about the Matrix is the cave allegory. And the part of the cave allegory is that when you keep replicating something, the actual visions of purity get more and more distorted.

I feel like Jurassic Park, is very much that allegory coming to play of like, yeah, we keep just making them, and I really hope I'm wrong, but it came worse than the second Jurassic world. No, but you know what it is? It's the thing is you want to make sure. Like, that's why this movie, the third movie, and I think the third movie can compare to the second Jurassic world to a lot of people, and I understand that. I think that there's just, I want to feel in any movie that I see, whether it's a

blockbuster or not, I still want to be able to connect to it and feel like, oh, man, what do I do if I was in a scenario like that. Like even if it's on a, even if it was on the planet. It's like if you put like, like Dune, right? Like Dune is a movie that it's in a different universe,

but I feel like the characters are real. I feel like they're real. And it's like there's no one in Jurassic Park three that felt real. It just felt like movie characters running around from, from big monsters. And as long as I feel I'm happy, as long as those feelings are what I saw out, right?

So like I'd rather be surprised and have more depth. But if I'm going to a Jurassic Park movie, my expectations, which are usually wrong, are I'm going to feel connected as well as a moat at this experience of humanity with dinosaurs. You know what I mean? Like, I do. But like this movie, though, too, like here's a perfect example of how, and I think Winston said it before, where you weren't really attached to anybody, even though I found myself like, Billy, I thought Billy was the one that I was probably the one I care. Like, if I knew Billy didn't die, not because I'd seen the movie before, because I didn't remember, even, because I didn't remember.

I didn't see this movie in a while. But I was like, He didn't die because of the way they shot it. It was shot that he didn't eat. He's not dead. So that was that was clear his day. But everybody else, I didn't care if they got eaten. Like when William H. Macy, who I like is hanging from that thing, I'm like, let him get a snack. Who cares?

Yeah. That's not. That's not. Oh, Jesus. Come on. At this point, it's like, yeah, I don't. Whatever. T. Leone, I love.

Okay. Well, she's, she's doing nothing to help anybody. She could. She's less than a damsel in distress because she's actually a detainst. because she's actually a deterrent in this film. 100%. Stop screaming. They've told you many times. Stop calling the kid's name out.

And she keeps doing it. And like she's not, it's not fair for her to have a character to bat dumb to try to be likable. She's just not likable. Right. She's not. I guess that's that is the issue. There's no hero here and there's no villain because at least in the very,

hero. Is he? He's so, I mean, I guess, really who we like. Right. But,

but, but not. some kind of a, you know what I mean, like an off-putting Crouchy old man. Yeah, but you said it before. He was allowed to have a story arc in the first one and did. And so that to us is its own version of a hero's journey while running from dry monster.

He doesn't go anywhere. He learns nothing. He was saying it from the beginning. You wouldn't like him in here. That's true. Because he doesn't go. And it's like even and it's still it's, it's Ellie who's able to say, oh, oh, you guys need help?

Sure, let me call the Marines. You'll be good in two seconds. Like Winston, you hadn't grown up with the. movies if you remove Alan Grant's arc from Jurassic Park and you don't have any nostalgia for it I don't think you would have enjoyed Alan Grant's dress park three no no I agree with that 100% I agree with he does he gives you nothing to where so confined to the movie there's no hero yeah I think that he's the but but it is but that the only argument or counter argument to that is that this movie is relying on the fact that you've seen the other ones oh 100% which isn't necessarily like we're not

at MCU level here with these movies. It's an unreliable. Yeah, but what I mean, though, is that Alan Grant is the hero because of his past actions from part one. Yeah. Do come into play because they ask you to. They ask you to because of the things that he's saying in the beginning and the

stuff that he's trying to do. So it's kind of, it all matters, right? Right. If it's the first movie you ever saw and you didn't watch one and two and you were like, oh, I don't care about this guy. He doesn't. Well, yeah, but if you got to watch the first one, I don't want to.

He's not, he's not fun. Yeah, say you were born in 95, you know what I mean? You're six or seven years old and wanting to see a dinosaur movie. You're not going to love the grumpy old guy with the hat. No,

that's true. And so that's what I'm curious about with like, you know, this Chris Pratt version, this Dress of World, which we're about to get into is whether or not the nostalgia of those characters meshes with our new wave of these characters. Like,

I'm sure this third one is going to be my favorite of the Dress of Worlds because of my nostalgia, but whether or not, you know, the next generation, going to have that same reverence. I don't know. Because if it made a billion nine,

clearly there's a brand new audience. So I'm just curious how much they care about Alan Grant. But if it made a billion nine, I don't agree with you that it made a brand new audience. I believe that that's every parent going, yo, because look at, look at Force Awakens,

which I think we have acknowledged has aged definitely better over time and whatnot. Like people loved it when it was there, but they're having a little more reverence for it now when you look at all of the sequence. trilogy and you kind of go. You see. Yeah, right, right, right. It's, for the way that came out initially, people who were losing their minds and there's people who still love it, but yes, perfect.

I didn't like it. I was actually one of the few people that I was like, this is dope, but I immediately was like, so you're just going to give me the exact same beat for beat? You're not even going to attempt to do something new. See, I cared about that less because I thought that eight and nine would deliver so much that it would play off of what we saw and go differently. And it did go differently, but it's a different conversation. Anyway, look, we've got, we've got this that just came out. This is Jurassic Park 3.

Next week will be Jurassic World. On Monday, you're going to get another dose of us because on Big Thing, we are going to be doing our, every big movie that we do, whether it's Spider-Man, the Batman, and now we're doing Dr. Strange. We have a full spoiler episode that will be myself, Winston, and Coy, that will be this Monday and then on Friday you get the rewatch episode of the three of us talking about Jurassic World. So make

sure if you haven't already, you got to do one thing just for your whole life. You've got to subscribe and show a little class. Will you show just a little ounce, one ounce of class and hit that notification button, do everything, share these episodes let people know about it. And for myself, Winston and Koi, it is the big thing. Thank you guys. Make sure you check out Winston on

the Blurds in the Hood. Make sure you follow him at the Swaggy Blurd. Koi, Jandrew, you can follow him on his YouTube channel, the TikToks, all that stuff, and real rejects, taking pictures of celebrities wherever you can go. I got to boost that riot, man. I got to get that riot. The big thing, we'll see you guys.