The Kristian Harloff Show - REWATCH! The Last World: Jurassic Park (1997)

Episode Date: April 22, 2022

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in our ever-capable lineup of SUVs. Kia, movement that inspires. Call 800-33-34-4-Kia for details. Always drive safely. What's going on, everybody? It's Friday, and we're back with the rewatch. And the rewatchers are going to come in Fast and Furious, not of Fast and Furious, of course, but of Jurassic World, Jurassic Park.

And then we're going to do Doctor Strange. So we get a lot of stuff going on, and it's me, and it's Koi, and it's Winston, and it's really just an excuse for me to make more thumbnails because I'm obsessed right now. And I'll talk about that a little bit, but it's the Lost World. It is the second movie in the Jurassic Park franchise. We are going to talk about it. We've breaking it down, all that stuff. But by the way, do me a favor here and subscribe to the channel, please.

Hit the notification button. All that stuff, the bells, the whistles, all this. There's so much going on. We've got a lot of Dr. Strange stuff as we lead up to the screening coming up. And then Dr. Strange comes out very, very soon. So make sure you're following that. And we'll also be doing Jurassic Park, Jurassic World, all of it. So, all right, guys, let's get into it.

It's me. And it's the whole crew. I already said that. Let's do it. All right. Keep my wife's name. No, it's the wrong one. Oh, I'm going to.

Welcome back, everybody. That was actually a mistake. It was actually a mistake. It worked out. That's me. That was... It worked out, huh? I planned it.

I planned the whole thing. I planned the whole thing. What's up, everybody? Welcome back to the rewatch. So excited to have you back. I'm excited to have Winston and Poy back. And, yeah, guys, I'm obsessed right now. We get them.

Look, we all need hobbies to just, like, not deal with work and life. And if a hobby can actually enhance work at the same time, like, you're winning, bro. Well, it's funny because I was, as I was going, I just was tired of the, because we have a great thumbnail guy that works out of Spain, knows that. And it's just the problem is that I just need, when I need to do things quick, I need them right away. And I'm like, I should also know how to do this, you know? And I, it's just the same like side by side screenshot. I'm like, nah. So Greg Alba had shown me this program.

And he's been, he's been helping me out tremendously. And that's why you're going to see better graphics. I mean, even, let me just look at this. You got a little, like Winston came in this morning. He was so excited when I showed him. Yeah. Little win. There's, low wind has made his return in the most appropriate way that he could return.

That's how you do it. And then Koi, obviously. You're just talking. You're just talking. But we, and we are doing, as I showed you before. and we got the Lost World Jurassic Park, it's the rewatch. Guys, I was hoping that I was going to rewatch this movie and say, you know what, I actually really do like this movie.

It's not great. It's not great. I had fun. I didn't say it didn't have fun. Fun is different than shit. Exactly. I didn't say it didn't have fun. It wasn't like hard to watch.

Okay. It's just not good. It is, I still stand by. I think it's Spielberg's worst movie. Oh, wow. Well, what else? What else is War Horse? I liked Warhorse a lot.

Warhorse had the pacing of it. I liked Wars, but, let me see. Let me look at the Spielberg. And people are going to say Ready Player 1. I like that movie too. Bridges Spies. Maybe 1941, people will, will say. But the reason why is that it just seems like,

it just seems, it didn't seem like a Spielberg movie. It seemed like a, I hate to say this, I love him so much. It seemed like a lazy sequel. The writing's not good in this movie at all. The writing is bad. The writing's pretty bad. The fun comes from the actors,

like, chewing the scenery when they need to. and the amusement parkness of it all, like the T-Rexes add a certain scope because you, you know, multiply. It definitely had the sequel thing. They're like, more T-Rexes, more Raptors and all that. Right. And that was fun, but it never once felt like the awe of Jurassic.

No, no, no, because it was tired. But I do, by the way, I think that I wanted to surprise you because I actually do have Jeff Goldblum today. Oh, do. Yeah, but he told me. Run from New York is my answer. No, no. It's not Sean Pinto. It's Jeff Gobble.

I know exactly. I'm terrified of what's about to happen. that's if he's available. He said he was going to be here. I'm not sure if he is. Mr. Goldblum, is that you? Oh, yes, yes. Hello.

Hello. It's very nice. Sir, I wanted to thank you so much. We're doing a rewatch of Jurassic World. Oh, yes. Oh, gosh. The dinosaur is. Yes.

Right, right. But the sequel, of course, the Lost World that you appeared in. And I just wanted to ask you, like, did you? And I said it. and I feel like this is Spielberg's worst movie. Not your performance. I think your performance was great, but the movie itself, I just feel it's not very well written. How do you feel?

Oh, no, no. It's a wonderful send-up of Godzilla or King Kong, but my daughter is, she's a gymnast, wonderful

actress who does flips and Yeah. Spielberg was ahead of the of the whole equality movement in film because, yeah, really, she's, excuse me,

I burp, she's the star of she's the main centerpiece of the film. Yeah. She's chocolate. She's darker with me. It doesn't make sense, but did I adopt her? Who knows? Maybe she was made in a lab. It's, you know, it's open-ended.

It's wonderful. Yeah. You just don't know, I guess. That's where we're... And how did you like working with Vince Vaughn? Oh, gosh, he's great. He's wonderful, is it? You know, large, large,

hand, surprisingly, up close, like a melon, like some kind of a sweet, juicy melon. Yes, I would touch it all the time. He'd say, you know, very angry, He's very angry, but he's gotten very big. It's larger now. Oh, gosh.

Yeah, metaphorically, I guess, I understood. And the last question before I let you go here, sir, because I know you're very busy with the... Oh, sure, yeah, sure. Yeah. What is... How was it working with raptors? Well, you know,

birds of cranny, large, large claws. They're pretty sweet. They're like a giant, oh, like turkeys. They get a little very, very cranky. But Spielberg, let me ride them. Like horses, very, very sweet, yes. Yes, they, oh, they eat, they eat, pizza. Corn.

And pizza, yes. Yes, pizza, right. Yes, I met pepperoni, yes. But gosh, the new film is, we're going to get a lot of rafters. Ooh, a lot of rapids in that, and blue is a mommy. Oh, dear, it's really, very fun, yes.

Can you give us any spoilers before you leave? Sure, I mean, what's to say? Bigger dinosaurs, even bigger, weirder combination. Yes, they're, maybe, maybe, who knows, maybe a woolly mammoth will appear this time. They're running out of ideas. Oh, God, they're out of ideas here, but who cares? They make money, so. That's true.

Well, listen, sir, I have to thank you so much for giving us your time. I know how busy you are, and anytime you can come by, we would love that. Oh, oh, yes. And I love, I love the show. I love when you do the movie reviews. by yourself, you sit there very early. Oh, you get up so early. I know when I'm working out of my gym,

but can I say, well, I bet, I bet I know he's up at 6 a.m. reviewing a movie by themselves. And there you are. Yes, yes, yes. So you're an early bird. Early bird gets the worm. Yes. So thank you.

Thank you, sir. You're the best. I can't wait. Thank you, Jeff. Thank you. The great Jeff Goldblum, ladies and gentlemen. I'm really, Willie mammoths, we got some scoops.

That's, I got to say, not to break the fourth wall here, that that takes so much stamina. Like, real talk. Like, that takes so much stamina to do that. What was that, a seven-minute call and he was able to hold it the whole time? What do you mean?

It was he's been holding it all of his life. He's almost 60 years. old. 60 years, 56. I'm saying the burps. He held them in the whole time. He's coming through. Speaking of Mr.

Goldblum, it is, I mean, he's, he's the one that takes us through in this movie. He, he starts in,

uh, the first thing you can see is this. This is, this is so dumb. This is, this scene was, this scene was really dumb. This,

basically what's happening. Yeah, what's happening with Ian Malcolm is that he's, you know, the people who are not listening to him, not believing him. They're trying to bury the fact of what happened in the first movie. I like that.

I thought that was great. But then he gets on, I hate scenes like this. When the guy is so cartooning, I know you, you're the guy. And it was so bad in like a different movie. Yeah, I don't understand when there's like a day player or an extra that they're like, that's the way like when the like the dark night like no more dead cops. Like that stands out so much in movies. And it ruins the whole tone of the thing.

And this guy was definitely the no more dead cops of the Jurassic Parking. It was bad. No more dead cops. No more dead cops. It was bad. It was bad. It was gone. It was just not, not.

And when you're bigger than Jeff Goldblum, like how do you get? Like, what's the move? Like, why would they make that choice? But what I will say is, as that happened, I was like, is this whole movie going to be like this? It wasn't. I like this stuff like when Alan is meeting with, oh my God, I always forget Laura Dern's character's name. She's not in it. She is in that scene.

Oh, for half a second. She's in the yard. They want to let you know. Camio. Yeah. And they establish. they established that they're not married. They said, I actually liked the fake out.

The fake out of when he started and he's holding the kid and he's like, oh, they're married, they have kids. And then it's like, no, he didn't get attached. He's still very much obsessed with archaeology. She's kind of, not archaegia, paleontology, trying to move on, do her own thing. But still, she's still got the juice too. Yeah.

Like, I love that scene. I love everything about that. I think it's a movie of good scenes because the first film, it's hard because it's perfect. We all agree. Like that's a five-star film. It's hard to follow. But the first movie feels like there's so many subplots that actually tie to the plot.

There's great over our structure. There's action, adventure. There's the awe. There's the sense of all. This movie is a series of awesome scenes. It's not, right.

You know what I mean? Like there's no awe. Like the T. The T. The T. The baby T. Xx scene. Awesome.

Yeah. I agree with you 100%. But it doesn't feel cohesive. And a great example is the dumb scene you just use that when you have scenes that remove you from the flow, then all of a sudden it's like riding a roller coaster that gets stopped. It just stops. Yeah.

And you're going really fast and it just stops or you go off in a different part of the, like this is not the roller coaster I signed up for. And then you see the animatronics because your pause too long. It's like being on Space Mountain for a while and then out of nowhere you're in, it's a small world. And you're like, wait, wait, that's not what I, that's not what I signed up for. And but there's so many of those moments. But there are, it's like the idea of it.

And it was like I said, we were the lazy writing. It's like, well, why do we need to get them back there? Because we first of all, we see this whole scene that happens, which is, again, a pretty terrifying scene with the little girl that gets attacked by the little dinosaurs. And then they're like, oh yeah, she's okay. Don't worry about it. How do we know?

She's okay. She got attacked by like 50. And mom screamed bloody murder. And her goofy run when she's doing this. I was like, what is this? I don't know. That little girl's dead. But that's my thought.

I feel like little girl's dead. But I think the thing that gets me is like, I am not convinced that the people that are like, well, we got to go back. I mean, I get why you got Malcolm to go because his boo thing is like, screw it. I'm going. I don't care. I'm going. I'm going.

I'm going. I'm going to go study the dinosaurs. Yeah. But I just don't, you have all these people being like, fam, nightmare scenario. Yeah. They're telling me there was no camera footage. There was no evidence, none of that. And they're still like, no, we're just going to do it.

Right. I just, you did not convince me that people had a good of enough reason to go out here. Right. You know, this might be my Batman forever. This might be my, I enjoyed it so much as a kid. And I enjoyed it so much that I can't, I hear your logic. But my brain goes like, I got excuses. And it's not.

And I even know there. excuses. They're not even like smart. They're just like, it's fine. Like I enjoy the like the San Diego stuff so much and it inspired me wanting to like come out to see San Diego for the first time. I enjoyed like the intelligent raptor so much. I enjoyed the more dinosaurs, the compies. It just feels like an emotional letdown but a thrill ride. Like the, the emotions are lower while the action's higher and that's a sequel. But I was a kid. I can't shake that. I get it. I guess that's the thing is that for when the action kicks in, I'm in. But it's like even, even at the point where I'm so pro-animal dance

so I'm gonna take a baby T-Rex with broke leg and bring it into Taylor because that seems like a great fucking place. It's such a stupid. The people in this movie are really dumb. And the friend from West Wing is a nice guy. He's like one of the best guys in the whole entire thing. He's like, I'm going to help my friends

as they're falling for the eighth time. And he goes in and that scene goes on forever. Yeah. There are pacing choices that are really strange in this movie. It's like they sacrifice. Spielberg sacrificed the big spectacle. He got rid of the story and tried to develop the characters as much

because the first one is very developed in first. Story characters, you know each one. This is just spectacle, spectacle, spectacle. And then that big fall. And here he comes. And he's like, I got you. I'm going to do whatever it takes to help you guys out. I've been good.

I've been watching your daughter in the trees. I'm going to help you out here. He's a real one. He's not one time. Is he a bad guy? And then the dinosaur eats him, tears him apart, a brutal, brutal death, which is sad.

We should be sad. They don't even mention this fucker for a while until the one guy makes some crack about it. He was like, oh, yeah, if you're mentioning my friend that I wasn't sad about at all. He helped us out. Hey, he's sacrificing for everything for all laws. Right. And then it's like, all right, who cares? Moving on.

He's like, all right, good point. And then I don't mention the guy. It's like that's brutal death that just happened. And remember, there were only like four deaths in the first Jurassic Park, whatever it was, too. And it was the lawyer. And this was a good guy. When the dude from Fargo eats it in that scene, which is they just torture this guy. Yeah.

I mean, that was amazing. Yeah, because they've led you up to the fact that he's like the, he's the new Newman, where he's just such a jerk. You want him to go because he's a dick to everybody. You don't want a shift to go? No. And Vince Vaughn, who, again, disappears from the movie. You don't understand.

I thought when, and his thing is so confusing, he's like, that's why they sent me. And I'm like, oh, was he like CIA? That's what I thought. No, he's like a CNN journalist or something. Yeah. That also happens to be to. Animal activist. Right.

Him coming in like, I'm Tarzan leaves. Like, you never see him again. I thought, I genuinely thought it was like, this is where we find out he's actually the Punisher.

Right. He's like black ops. He shoots camera stuff, but if he's got to get his hands dirty, I was ready for that. Well, because they said it, because Kobayashi from usual suspects is like the main guy with shorts on.

Right. And he's walking around hunting. He's like, I just want to hunt the T-Rex. And then he turns out to be okay. He's like, yeah, he's like, I found him for you. Because it is, as Mr. Gobbom said on the phone.

It is very much. much like a King Kong. This is, this is like Spielberg got to make King Kong and except the King Kong in this point was the T-Rex, right? But it's like, it just doesn't play that particular way. I think we forgive King Kong more because it goes to an 11. This tried, but then came back, it tried to be grounded and King Kong at the same time. Well, even the San Diego thing, the thing gets loose in San Diego. Yeah. And it eats people on the street and they're like, that's all right. You know, he's just put them back on the ship. And then, and then that whole setup with talking about how you got to get the bag.

The new, the guy who wanted to be John Hammond. Yeah. You got to set that guy up. He's got to get his comeuppance. And at the very end, the, the, the baby dinosaur eats him. And it's like, I just don't think it was earned enough to me. I was like, oh, get him. You know, it's just, it was, this was more spectacle.

It was, he was, he was a funny piece to laugh at, like, remember at one point when they're all taking the break when Dieter dies because he went to go pee or whatever and the little dinosaurs eating. Yeah. He's like, all right, everybody, breaks up. Let's up, up. Okay, come on. Let's go.

Everybody's just like, bitch. And then the minute Vince Vaughn goes, oh, yeah, we should get out of here. They go, all right, dog. And that's like, if they'd had more Vince Vaughn that would have worked. Like, if they've been consistent.

It just doesn't, they didn't build anybody. Like, yeah, they could have, the way that they built Ian Malcolm in the first one, they could have built him.

Right. But it's like you just, and I don't even know at the time, it's like 97 or whenever this movie comes out. Post Swingers pre. Yeah, Vaughn isn't massive yet. Yeah.

This might be his first thing. like swingers is that ride like that way. This is the start of it. Like the real big thing that he's got. And he's, he's good in the role. He just doesn't really do anything. They don't let him do anything.

No. They didn't write enough for him to do it. No. And then the stuff that's going on with Goldblum and his daughter, which is they kind of, they had that one crack that Vince Vaughn says where he's just like, oh, they don't have much of resemblance,

do they? And it's like, well, maybe she's adopted, right? Or maybe. But you could have contextualized some way. And there's nothing that's a little girl. It just had no reason. Why was she there?

Right. It's like, how did she? Oh, she stowed away or whatever she did. It's like, oh, but how did she get there? And it's like, and what was the point of just to have? Because the reason why it's so clear as day, well, we want to have because the kids were in the first one. So I was going to say, why would you bring that storyline back?

But it's literally just to bring that storyline back. Well, but it's just to get kids in the theater. And it's just for kids to feel like, oh, I have someone to relate to. Yes, that's, that's it. But still, you're throwing the random gymnast shit. Oh, it's terrible. Cool set. And it kicked you out?

It's a cool, actually, like it's tense, the glass breaking. Like, I remember that scene forever. Like, that's one of the scenes in cinema that you remember watching young and like, oh, the glass breaking and everything left a mark.

Like, it worked. It just was tough. I mean, remember, I saw this for the first time, like, four to six months ago. So that you must be super dating for you. So I was just like, the fuck.

But the funny thing is, that was my sticking point four to six months ago. Right now, it is still them bringing the baby T. Into the trailer. I'm sorry. I know we already talked about it.

this, but just to prove how bad the writing is, I get, we're trying to save the dinas. If she's such a dinosaur expert, why is her brain, if he's such an animal expert, why are their brains not immediately going if we take a dangerous predator's baby? The parents are going to come. The parents are going to come and be fucking pissed. A hundred percent. Any animal ever. Yeah.

Winston, 100 percent, not only that. Then she gets the baby's blood all over her coat. All over the coat. And this dinosaur expert said, they go, oh, is that your blood? No, it's the baby's dinosaur and it's just, it's not drying. So I'm just gonna keep it on.

It's the stupidest thing about. What are you talking about? The biggest predator on the planet. And she's dripping the blood all over the leaves. It's like she's, Julian Moore is a moron in this movie and she's a, and she's a dinosaur expert. And no one was a moron in the first film that wasn't intentionally a moron.

Right. That's the, like, she's supposed to be the new Laura Dern. Right. She is not. Laura Dern does not make those types of mistakes in the first film. And no one in the first film that's billed as intelligent,

makes any dumb mistakes, which makes the first film so smart, is you feel like you're on a ride of intelligence with the, it feels like a Michael Crichton book. But this one, you're just judging people's stupidity getting killed. Yes, and they didn't really adapt as much

because Michael Cretton did write this sequel as far as the novel went. But they did not take those moments. They just turned it, they went more blockbuster set pieces over the top stuff because at that point, again, 97, you're coming off of one of the biggest movies of all time in Jurassic Park.

Now you just go big or go, go or go home is what they is what they did. I think that's the biggest issue is everything is sequeled up. I mean, you got two T-Rexes instead of one. You got more smart raptors. Three T-Rexes. You got three T-Rexes. Yeah.

And then you've got like you've got to bring it to San Diego to make people. Everything just feels like escalation. They could have just done one of those. You know what the best thing about this movie was? Credits. The classic arcade game that they had at every. Oh, man. And the second Genesis game was awesome too.

I didn't play the Genesis game, but I remember the game in the arcade with the guns. Yeah. I genuinely, as I was watching this movie, was like, I remember this. Not because I've seen the movie, but because I played that arcade game so much. It was, look, it was definitely a fun ride. There's no doubt about it.

Crystal Skull, I think, is Spielberg's worst, because that movie's not even fun. You're talking sense. Right now we're having a good time. It was so removed in my brain, like a memory that was just erasing, and you put it back in there. That's why the word.

I retract my statement. I retract my statement. Because we can spot. Now. We could not smile talking about that film. If you ask me, you can only watch one for the rest of your life. I'm taking this one all day long because I didn't hate watching this movie. And like I tried watching Crystal Skull again recently. It's very hard to what you're your you're I apologize. Apologies. Like this is a B movie in all senses. It is. I have a question for you guys before we move on. Because it's not an A plus. I want to see if you guys know if you guys can guess no one has been able to guess this so far. Koi is the only one I think might be able to for a certain. reason that I'll explain and let me see here. Here is the statement, see if you guys can guess it. You told me your title. Yeah.

One more time? It's not easy. You told me your title. What do you think that person says? Winston, and I'll hear one more time? I do. You told me your pilot. What do you think he says?

You told me. This is my favorite game on this show. One more time. You told me your title. You told me to get the ham. Okay. Kate guessed you told me about the Argyle, which is not, not close. All right, here you go.

Coy. You told me your pals. And so I'll give you the first two. It's you show, you show. Oh. Okay. You told me your title. I love this game so much.

You told me. I just told you it. You show. What? Go again. You told me your pile. What? That definitely sounds like told.

When I told Kate the same thing, when I told Kate the same thing, she said. said that person does not say show. You show me your cows? You told me your is it you show me your cows? No. You show me, you show me, pal. You show me your balls.

It's you show me your title. Listen. You told me your title. Is the man having a strong It's from high on crash street. Oh, it's from my hotel. I know. I might have got it.

But he's not, but he's not. But that guy is not on drugs. He's, he's drunk. Oh, well, there we go.

One more time. That is Lowell. You show me your title. You told me your title. Wow. And it sounds like a total. That's incredible. It's hilarious.

He goes, he goes, he goes, are you, are you? You show me your title. You show me your title. See, if I'd heard the, are you, it would have given me the context

that I would have guessed. You guys know the Christian Bail Dickie thing, right? No. Yeah, you told me. On set, he was walking,

like, Dickie was on set. And he's, speaks very much like that. So Christian Bale was translating because he spoke Dickie so well. He would translate Dickieisms to the cast and crew. So Dickie spoke. So I, I apologize as I went through through that, but I also let you guys know to get you back on track after that. Maybe that guy could have used a little athletic greens. I'll tell you because athletic greens, Corey, you've been trying it yet? I love it, man. I'm a fan. Taste grade. Oh, it's so good.

Winston to try it? I have not tried to. You got it. And for athletic greens, it's been, I've been using it every day. It gives you that kick, man. And I know that you guys have been hearing me talk about it, and I started taking it because, honestly, whether it was just a lack of energy, you know, not sleeping that great. Now I wanted better gut health. I wanted more energy. I wanted an optimized immune system. And I didn't like taking the pills and the vitamins. So I wanted a supplement that actually tasted great.

And as Coy said, it does. It tastes really, really good. And it doesn't taste like it's super healthy. It has like a mild tropical taste that actually you can really look forward to. I take it in a, I put it in a water bottle and I shake it up and drink it that way. I love it because it does. It gives me that kick energy that I need in the morning. And it benefits, it really does give you some really good energy. And I just feel it goes down very easy.

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What's up? Yeah, man. The color of a consenathes. It's pretty great. You show me your dial. You show me a dial. It's addicting. It's addicting.

You show me your title. Garble. That's amazing. This is right up there. He wrote Jurassic Roll, by the way. No, you definitely can tell. Yeah, that guy. You can hear it.

No, I was going to say this, this takes us right back to the, what was it? It's, uh, Daddy, Oh, Patty Boy, it's me. It's me. I'm in trouble. Get some help.

Close. But, you know. It's been a long time. It's been a long time. I don't think Coy knows what we're talking about. I don't know this one. Patty boy, it's me. Daddy's having trouble.

Call an ambulance. There it is. Call an ambulance. Bro. Bro. The fact that Roxy to this day is still like, she can see it. She can see it.

Did she finally? The other day, about two weeks ago on the, she was maybe in person, but it's starting to make a lot more sense what you guys say. So what, I'm sorry everybody for the, who came here for the Jurassic Lost World. We'll do one more thing. Yeah, we'll come back to it. But so again, what do you think is being said here?

This one's a little more easier than the other one. Patty boy, it's me. Daddy's having trouble. Call an ambulance. Patty boy, it's me. Daddy's having trouble calling an ambulance. Yeah, so what do you, what would you imagine in your head is happening right there? Someone is helping someone who's fallen or something.

What do you think the lady's doing on the call right now? Patty boy, it's me. Daddy's having trouble. Call an ambulance. She's calling her son, right? Yeah, son or a brother, like some family member. But she's not saying, no, no, so this is he who's in trouble. Oh, yeah, no.

That's a Rock's, Rok. She said, Patty Boy, it's me, Daddy's having trouble. For years. For two years, Roxy said, this, Roxy said, Patty boy, it's me. Patty boy, it's me. Daddy, boy, it's me. Daddy having trouble.

That's a stretch. stretch. No, that's a weird place to put a comma. It was and she, she looked at it. Finally conceded. She looked at it. Anyway,

so let's get back to this movie. The other, yeah, I know, I know. The other thing I want to, it's better than the third one. But speaking of dumb,

also, this is another one. Oh, man. When, that's the third one. This is the second one. Oh, wait, you're right. This is the third one.

Yeah, we're going to get there. Oh, so funny. So funny. I was like, wait a second. So wait a minute. So wait a minute.

editing that right now. No, you guys also, and I know that the premiere has probably been screaming at me already. The whole scene that I was talking, you're 100% right, Winston. Lord Dern is not in this movie. I was like, neither one of them is. Because you know why? And this is why I can't watch. No.

We were going on about Patty Boy, it's me. And show me your title. And the audience has probably been screaming at me through premiere saying, what are you talking about? There's going to be footage of me and Winston looking at each other like, Lorderton. It's like, I don't think that's a thing. I was like,

I thought the only four returning people were Jeff Goldblum. 100%. Hammond and then the two kids who he speaks to for half a second. You're absolutely right. My brain went maybe there on the, she's in the background of that scene.

No, no, no, no. I was, you know what it was? This is why. Lord and Sasquot to the background just like, no, she's so,

so silly. And that woman, and the woman in the beginning does the run. Yeah. No, but you know what? Here's what happened. When you guys, when you guys, I took that week off to do, we said, well, wait.

And I had watched, I had watched the second one. So you've watched the third one. So I started watching the third one right after it. So I just put it all together in one thing. And that's why. And I actually stopped watching the third one because I didn't want that to happen. So there are two things. There are two things that I realized from this.

The first is the reason why I gave you, there are two reasons that gave you a pass on that. The first is, remember, I said I saw both two and four. for the first time about four to six months ago in that range. I saw them a week apart from each other. So I was like maybe I wasn't paying enough attention. So you're saying you're admitting you're admitting you didn't watch it this time. No, no, no, I watch it.

I didn't finish San Diego. So you can see it because I have it on my album. You watch it on your phone? Yeah, well, I have it on iTunes. I can watch it on my phone or my TV or whatever. But my point is I let it slide because I was like, okay, I watch those back to back. Maybe I'm like messing something up. Yeah.

But then the other... Coy, I said this every week. You got to move that mic. Looks like Winston's penis. I just said... And then the other thing was, this is something I'm working on to therapy. Clearly, my confidence is fine right here. No, you did.

I forgot to tell you he took Joy mode right before he came over. I said it. Gives him a lot of confidence. Give us a lot of gusto. Talk about a T-Rex. I was just... Broken legs. I was just...

How was the vacation, by way? If that's my brain... If that's my brain... broken legs. Jesus Christ. The confidence that when I'm in an argument to be like,

nah, bitch, I know what I'm talking about. I was like, I swear she's not in this. 100% she wasn't in it. Trust me, I can't wait to watch the comments on this.

Because they're going to, for a long day, and we're just going on going, so what do you think he says there? Yeah. Show me your title. And it's the third movie. And that's why,

thank God I brought in, when I brought in that, you're like, The arrow should be on me. Christian, this is for the one guy that's been going off on you. Probably 40 of them. Hey, hey, you fuck. We realized it, okay?

Did you make it this far down? I can't call that guy a fuck. He's trying to. We fucked up, all right? I am. You guys are responsible. To not challenge anything. You're,

you're responsible. You guys are bullshit. You're both responsible. You're both responsible. I challenge it every match. I'm letting it. out, I let out an egg fart and you guys sat in it. Well, we both looked at each other like, I get a little rub with this.

Let's see what this is. Anyway, but either way, they're not in the movie. She's the best part of this movie, Lauren Dern. She's incredible. I loved her work here. 100%. Should have got my dog. It was the best move she made.

It's so funny anyway. So, yeah, they're not in this movie. It's funny as I hear myself thinking about where Ian Malcolm. At one point, it was like, Alan at one point. I was like, Alan at one. He's not. He's not at all. No, because I was like,

I'm like, wait, because in my head, I'm like, why didn't they have Jeff Goldblum and Alan interact with all? It's different movies, asshole face. So, so either, either way. Because now it makes a lot more sense. He's the only one they really lean on. Yeah, the whole time because when they have that, he has that scene with Hammond in the beginning. And Hammond seems more like, again, they just had Richard Attenborough come in like, hey, we just need you to lend some validity into this thing. Yeah.

And you, yeah, you can't really get out of the bed too much. You're not going to be on the island. And he just, you still don't really know. He sends him there to, to thwart the other guys, I guess. That's kind of the mystery behind. He's like supposed to be like, you know, Dumbledore. And he's like, he's not. And I don't know.

It's just, it's the whole movie. There's parts of it that are fine. But for the most part, it's just, it's just really lazy writing. I go, I go D minus plot A action lands at a B minus for me. I think the action seems great. Like when the actions, like when the actions, on, it's great. So it's a B for me.

Sure. Spielberg directed the hell out of the action and I'll give you that, but it's just everything else about this film outside of like Jeff Goldblum's performance is just. And the sequences. Like I'd say Jeff Goldblum's performance and sequence. And then when Chris Pratt comes in at the end is incredible. He's just said when Blue comes in, you're like, this is so ahead of its time. Unbelievable.

Unreal. When they land on the volcano. I pulled a Winston. When he's banging the stick. Now that was a dumb moment. How is it that? God, I almost said Lord Turn. Jesus Christ

Julia or Sarah Her pack is getting eaten by the raptor She breaks me and they run around the car Yeah And this is where you realize Sometimes people aren't great At green screen acting Because they run around the car

And they get so surprised That the same Raptor When they just ran around the car Is staring at them They're like oh shit Not that way What? There's a lot of the

That's what I mean There's a lot of those moments That's why I can't give this movie An A plus on the action Because even some of the action Is it look good? Sure but it's just It's just dumb

And the characters are so dumb in this movie. But like seeing a Stegosaurus for me was so unique and the compies. Like there was so many moments of not again, not all of the spectacle. Like there were so many moments of like, I never thought I'd see that as a kid look so good. And I can't remove that.

This is my Batman. I think this is literally my Batman or chance. I understand that. And it's like I said, I did not hate watching this movie. It's just like there were, and I remember that there were times as I'm watching. I'm like, okay, I'm kind of, the stuff on the island is very much the stuff that you're invested. Once they get to San Diego though, it goes downhill.

I was so obsessed in California because I lived on the East Coast that was like, this is amazing. I want to go there. Yeah, but as far as the story goes, like once a guy, that's a two comes up. That's pretty cool. That little kid,

the flashlight. Sure. I don't know. Maybe. I just, are we going to avoid the fact that this dinosaur drank a gallon of chlorine. Yeah. It's not,

it's not all of a sudden. Like dinosaur kidneys are like cat kidneys. They can drink it over there. I just, you know, it is what it is. But again, did you notice that that that was downtown Burbank?

Yeah, I did this time. I'm so glad we talked about it last time. Which part? No, no, what's supposed to be San Diego, him trouncing through? Like, is it really? That's hilarious. Like, to me, this is a three and a half star film. Like, the first one's a five.

I give this one three and a half. I'm going to go a half star for nostalgia and say maybe it deserves a three. Is it because you're remembering how bad three is? So you're giving this a boost? They made five movies for a reason. Somehow one of them have to be at least a beat. Like, I just feel like there is watchability is a huge factor in movies. So I give it three and a half for watchability.

It's certainly the second best of the franchise. I was going to say it's funny because even though I'm sitting here not really giving this movie a lot of love, in my memory, it was like a one and a half two. Sure. In my memory. But after watching it,

because I've only seen, before this, I've only seen this movie once. Wow. Like I never went back and watched it again. Got it. Okay. I remember,

I mean, maybe it was on and I, because I do, because I do, there's certain scenes that I remember pretty well, like the San Diego stuff and the pool scene.

Yeah. So maybe you have a thing. that a couple different times, but there's other things that seemed like I was watching it for the first time. So after watching it, again, it's probably a two and a half star movie for me, because I don't disagree with anything you're saying as far as the action goes. Like, there are some great action things. I just think that the character choices and the characters in general are just not great. Like, and the only one I realize, as like Ian Malcolm I care about because it's, it's Goldblum, and you've already had a lot of time with him. He's established in the first movie. And, uh, and,

and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, just totally bitched. I think if I saw it now, it'd be three, maybe even as low as two and a half, but I gotta own the fact that I wore out my VHS tape and then I had to rewind her just for Lost World. Like it's a lot like the Batman for everything.

The Stolter's a real deal, especially in the sense that like you said, coming off of that, it was so soon after, like not immediately, but within what, like five years, some like that, that like you're still, like you said, you're riding high.

Yeah. So you'd look past some of the BS. I was also two, young to understand how bad a lot of it was. And now I forgive it because I already have the association. No, for sure. And what this feels like to me is this is the franchise equivalent of

M. Knight-Shama-Lan and how a lot of his films after the Sixth Sense, you're like, there's some promise here. There's whatever. And then you get to the twist and you're like, oh, that was dumb. You guys came to a planet, 70% of water? What was that move? What's that about aliens? You guys are so smart? Yeah, there are those issues. But then you're like, but I got scared when he walked by and that was

cool. Yeah, it's not, it is. And you're still watching dinosaurs running around the place and especially in 97, what three years removed from the first one when this comes out, it's still, it's, it, the blockbuster is very different in 97 than it is today. One a month. Yeah. And at best, you get one giant movie a month. And when you, but when you, but when you get it, when you get the movie, it's, but what

I mean by the difference in blockbuster is that it's, it's very hard to put together a blockbuster now. It's, it's hard. Like Jurassic World because of the, of what it has and the, and the history of it has a chance to be a billion dollar movie again. Yeah. I think it will. It's doing the reunion thing.

It absolutely does. But it's just hard to compete with the D.C.s and the marvels and the Star Wars right now as far as spectacle goes. So building out this way, it's hard. What's the last one that kind of really got built out? The only thing I can think of, but didn't hit a billion, but is up there. Quiet Place is up there? I was going to say John Wick. John Wick has gotten enough of a little.

Franchise, building out a franchise, agreed in Quiet Place. Sure. But I'm talking about, I'm talking about. I'm talking about massive blockbuster type movies. Both those movies are not fast and the furious, but even that, Fast and the Furious comes, yeah,

it comes from like the 90s. Yeah, 20001 is the first one. Everything, DVD, VCR combos. Everything built out now is either from Marvel or DC or Star Wars or... Sonic?

The first one did well, the second one's even better. Picks are movies and things of that nature, sure. I mean, the Toy Story movie is still years. Everyone should go see everything everywhere all at once because that is the best movie I've seen in probably five years.

I need to see that movie. It is so special. It is, I could not fathom it. I sat in the credits and just like, I want to see it. I'm trying to think what, what, maybe spiderverse, but you still are leaning on the same.

It's still a novel. You've got an IP there. So it's still proven character. I think, I think a quiet place for Spielberg S. World Building. And I think as far as franchise, I mean,

John Wick is the closest. Right. Franchise. But, but, but my point of that, all that is that in 97, this is the building of,

of Jurassic Park, because it's only, there's only one movie before this. So now after, and how massive that movie was, and Avatar maybe is another one that's coming on. But that's still, no, Avatar. That's original. Yeah, I think that's fair.

So, but, but that's the thing is that when you're able to do that, and that was the building of this franchise, because say what you want about the movie, whether you think it's lazy writing, or if you love the action, you love the story, you can't deny that this was another piece that even though it sets into the third one, which a lot of people didn't like, it's still allowed the mythology and everything around it

to then eventually create Jurassic World, because we're what, six movies into this thing now, right? And that's like, when you get to six movies, I don't give a crap, like how you feel about the over thing. You still made it six movies. Well, that's true. Yeah. That's a thousand percent true.

And there's something had to have been there. But I guess that's my question. Is it all that we've just been writing this insane high, like are we just chasing the dragon? The first. Well, it's kind of like the Fantastic Beast, which we didn't mention Harry Potter. Harry Potter's one of the more recent franchise.

That was still 20 years, but yes. Yeah, but like that's a new huge franchise. but Fantastic Bees couldn't even chase the dragon. Like, look at the drop off in that box office from one to two to three. I mean, I guess Jurassic Park hasn't had that.

Creed's a great one. I mean, but that's still both, both off a rocky. But I'm saying Fantastic Beaks couldn't do what Jurassic Park did. No, it wasn't able to,

Jurassic World is a spin-off. It turned around. And that's when you could include you put Fast and Furious, by the way, you could include in that because Fast and Furious was on a trajectory to go down.

Right. And then they turned it. Fast five is a Brazilian job. And even, Point Break. Point break was, I mean, the first movie was

pretty much point break. It was a rip off. And the second one was just a complete shift. And then once they got into the fourth and fifth, they just, now it's a carton.

Yeah, they made it a heist. And then they made it a superhero franchise. Yeah, right. They pivoted three times. And that's, and so, and Jurassic World is kind of gone. Now,

back to basics, in this one you think. I am very curious where they're going to go because there are, it seems like, out of all the movies in the franchise, this movie that we're talking about here today

is the most kind of similar to what we've seen in the trailers thus far in Dominion. Because it's going out in the world, dinosaurs out like the San Diego series. And all that stuff. But I think the difference is that in this movie, they do the King Kong transfer them to the island and the thing breaks loose as opposed to

these things have now just migrated into the States. It's more like Planet the Apes instead of King Kong. 100%. This is the Pine of Apes version of it, which I've been excited for. I wanted him to do that last movie. If a dinosaur actually talks at us in this, I am burning down every movie. If they come across the statue of Abraham Lincoln as a velociractor, I will be very upset.

You can't. You can't. You can't do that. But I do think this one's going to be the best of, but I think this is going to be at least lost world good, if not better. This new one. Before we move on, I also want to tell you guys a little bit about Coinbase. If you didn't already know, Coinbase, if you guys are crypto curious, well, here you go. Listen to a little bit about Coinbase.

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That's all like that. Allosaurus. And from what I've heard, Alan Grant and Lauren Dern are in this one. They're in the third movie. So we'll be talking about that more. William H. Macy, not in this one. He's definitely in the third one. Same thing with a Taleyoni.

So unbelievable. Eric, thank you guys so much for joining. Make sure you comment and subscribe. If you haven't done that already, there it is. Hit the subscribe button, hit the like button, do all that. Make sure you follow Koi, follow Winston, A Marshall. Do all of it, everybody. Please, please, please.

And we shall see you on the flip side. Appreciate you. Peace. Thank you.