The Kristian Harloff Show - Shark Movies, Andrew Dice Clay and Kristian is Banned From Which Comedy Club? | The Big Thing

Episode Date: July 19, 2021

Kristian and Mark talk about Shark Movies, their experiences with Andrew Dice Clay at The Comedy Store and what comedy club Kristian was banned from. GET TICKETS TO SEE MARK IN SEATTLE: http://www.markellis.live Follow on Twitter Kristian Harloff https://bit.ly/31PePMD Mark Ellis https://bit.ly/2U1wKPa Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hey there, it's Wayfair here, where delivery and setup are as easy as a few taps on your phone. You're relaxing in an old hammock, scrolling Wayfair's app, when you spot it, a brand new patio set. Next thing you know, Wayfair delivers it right to your patio and sets it up. Oh, you need a new grill, too? All right, Wayfair's got you covered. With Wayfair's room of choice delivery and fast experts set up on qualifying orders, life gets a little easier. Visit Wayfair.com or the Wayfair app. Adjusting to the suburbs. I never thought about space in my cramped apartment,

but in this house, all I see is empty space. The sofa and ottoman look like tiny islands and a sea of hardwood floors. I could get two Ottomans in the living room, but then I'd need another sofa. I could tell people I'm into minimalism. Anyway, when you save with Progressive by mumbling your home at Otto,

that's the easy part of adjusting to the suburbs. Progressive Casualty Insurance Company coverage provided in service by affiliates and third-party insurers. Welcome back, ladies and gentlemen, to the big thing. It is Monday, the year of our Lord. And joining me always. Just a day. Just a day.

Yeah, it's not the whole year. It's not the whole year. Janeing me? He chaining me? Over on the other side. Too late to turn around now. Too late. We're there.

Just keep throwing more coal on this caboose. Mark Ellis is here, ladies and gentlemen. It's Monday. And if you didn't know, Look at this. You see the top there? Not that sparkling, gorgeous head of his. Thank you.

And even there, look at that. Ladies and gentlemen, Captain Morgan, I'm so excited. Hi, I like this. I can't tell you how excited I am because of, you know I'm a Captain Morgan. I'm a big Captain Morgan. You have been for a long time. I'm a big Captain Morgan fan, but I want to let you guys know something that you might not have known before. We are super excited to be partnering up with Captain Morgan.

It is the original spice rum because. On July 31st, get ready for the Schmodeon collision presented by Captain Morgan. What a run of matches we have, Star Wars Championship, Dimilanta versus Kelly, the Inner Geekedom number one contender match, Saul versus Moses, the number one singles contender match, Marisol McKee versus Kevin Smith, and in the main event for the teams championship of the world, the reigning movie trivia Shmodeon teams champions, Shazam, face corruption,

former two-time champions. It is going to air on July 301st, and no matter how you choose to celebrate N to watch the Schmodeown, Captain Morgan is best enjoyed responsibly. It's the captain's orders. That's Captain Morgan, original spiced rum. It's at Captain Morgan, USA. I'm pumped, man.

I'm pumped to be working with Captain Morgan. Got a lot of surprises in there for the kids. It's going to be good. July 31st, yeah. And I know that when you look at that fly, you may say, now wait a minute. There's no way that that young man is of drinking age, but he is. Brendan Meyer, who is just to the right of William Bibiani in the shot.

Don't worry, he's 21. We ID'd the kid. Not 21. He's 28. He's 28. Wow. You know, you look at some people and you're like, how is that? Because this is what I'm going through now, is I'm like, how is that person younger than me? I know.

Do you have certain, I'm not going to name any names, but there's certain people that I have bookmarked as like, you are six years. years young really Jeff Snyder how was he just Snyder's like uh he wasn't the one on my mind yeah he should see what is he is he okay I can see he's got a baby face sort of yeah just Snyder yes yeah there's a few yeah people out there but either I'm I'm certainly not on that that list anymore as as our buddy Sam Levine now you clean up well though yeah but I mean I lost like I said I was the first time ever I'm closed I was 213 in my heaviest now you're looking to get under 200 yeah I'm closing in a 200

Okay. 201 right now. Yeah. But it's like, it doesn't change the fact that, you know, you're getting old, you're getting old.

Yeah, stuff hurts. Yeah. I am exhausted from the week. Yeah. And I told you, I heard my start it yet. I've always joked about how I hurt myself,

my back parallel parking. I got one up. I did it. Oh, like looking this way? I did it breathing, dude. I hurt my back breathing.

You hurt yourself breathing. And oh. I don't know. It's because the exercise I've been doing a lot lately. A lot of the, a lot of the exercise lately. The, uh,

The Oculus exercise. The Oculus exercise every day. What I have noticed as I get older is that I have to be careful. You know when you wake up in the morning and you just want that nice yawn, that just nice stretch? You got to be careful with the stretch. You got to go, because when you're a kid, you just wake up just like, ah, and then you just get everything loose.

If you go too fast with your morning stretch in bed, you may not get out of that bed for the rest of the day. No, you might have to. And trying to rework the stretch, it's so stupid. You've got to move. Yeah. I'll feel something go. And I'm like, okay, now I just got to lean in.

into this and I just have to literally stay in this position until it fades away. Did I tell you, first time in my life, I dealt with carpal tunnel syndrome. How? Okay. So if you tell your friends that in your 20s, they're like, you should stop masturbating so much. If you tell a friend now that I'm in my 40s, hey, I have carpal tunnel syndrome. They're like, no, you really have to stop masturbate. It's like, it's the same. And I'm like, no, that's not it. That's not it. It is from, it's a combination. And it is just as embarrassing as that. Okay. It's a combination of doing a lot of, like,

lifts, like heavy lifts at the gym. But what it's actually the result of is me holding my phone like this. This is my phone. I'm going to show you on my phone grip when I play Desert Golf. Why do you play... It's such a fun game. But this is what I don't understand. You take your finger on the screen and you go back and that's your T-shot

and you try to get it into a little hole. Here's the best part. Yes. 10,000 holes. 10,000 holes. And I keep trying. on my phone, so I play a little mini tournaments, do it on airplanes, do it when I'm watching TV

with the dog. My life is fantastic. You're a predictable animal. And so, but after at the 10,000th hole, you know what happens? You just hit it into the water. You finally found water. You're playing golf in the desert for 10,000 holes. You hit it in there. So what I have to do is I have to delete the app and then reinstall so I can start playing again. But now I can't play the game

anymore because this claw grip has given me such bad carpal tunnel. I couldn't write at my computer for a couple days. I couldn't do list. Now my bicep is all messed up because of it. So this thing, it has such a, you think it just starts in your wrist or your fingers, you get some numbness, some tingling. It is now, it's like a disease, Christian. It is like a, some sort of horror movie where the demon spirit is now going all the way up into my arm. And it's, it's taken over my entire, we might just have to cut off the

right arm. Well, it's not like, what's, what's Riley got the itchy leg syndrome or the shaky legs? Restless leg syndrome. Yeah. Like, that's the same type of thing, right? I think they prefer restless over shaky or it. Shaky has a more. Or itchy. Shaky and itchy have a... In addition to probably being Simpson's characters. Shaky and itchy have more of a negative connotation than restless. Because if you say, hey, I got shaky leg syndrome.

It's like, what are you nervous? If you say I have restless leg syndrome, it's like, wow, you just love working. Everybody gets so fended at everything. It's like, if you fucking shaking your leg, you got shaky leg syndrome. Well, maybe it's just restless. Maybe your leg... It's restless because it's both. You don't know.

You don't know why. You got shaky restless syndrome. You're like could be nervous. Shicky restless. It could be anxious leg syndrome because you like it has anxiety, but maybe it is restless. Maybe Mark Riley's leg is a free spirit that just wants to go travel the world. And Riley's like, no, we got to stay here and root for every NFC West team. See, it's the same thing like when he used to say like, you know, he had stomach problems.

I said, what do you got the shits? That's what it is. That's how you, this is, and I'm glad that now your comeuppance is happening because you always used to say, it doesn't matter what's going on somebody else's life. You can even look at somebody as they walk into a room. You like, what do you got the shits? It's very awkward way to start a conversation with you. When you leave the conversation with Christian and you depart and what do you love saying on somebody's way out?

It's like, oh, wait. How's your rash? Hey, I'm going to go somewhere. I'm going to go to take a dump. You love saying, don't hurt yourself. Don't hurt yourself. And now you've hurt yourself. You hurt yourself breathing.

But it was a couple of days ago. But it didn't, it didn't hold for as long. The pain didn't hold for as long as when the parallel parking part did. So. Now they have cars that will do it automatically. It's true. And as a parallel parking purist, I find it somewhat insulting. And now we have this generation of sub-millennials running around.

Having cars park for them? Back in my day, you had to eyeball it. Hey, you want to talk about parking cars? You want to talk about cars in general? You hit a bumper. You live with it. And you just live with it. It's life experience.

Yes. I am in awe and surprised and in love with the new system at the comedy store, as far as the parking lot goes. Oh, good. Dude. Well, we went up there. We rolled up there. You rolled up there, I should say.

Well, yeah, but you, you, you held my hand there. And it was very nice of you. The way, though you did all of it. No, you started to find your footing. I did. I did. I did. And I'll tell you why.

We put Christian in a little in a, you remember, this is a deep reference. Garfield and Friends was the Saturday morning cartoon. And then the offshoot of Garfield and Friends was a baby carriage was U.S. Acres. And U.S. Acres had all these other fun characters. It was like a bunch of fire. animals and one of them was a very nervous. You're laughing at what you got? Spit it out with you.

One of them was a very nervous. I want to say duck. It was a duck. His name was Wade Duck. Yeah. And Wade was a duck, but he was very nervous about swimming. So it's a duck who's got one of those inner tube wraps around his waist the

whole time. Even out of the water. Simple things I get you. Even out of the water, Wade Doug is just walking around. That's who you were. You got out of the car. You had your little floaties just in case. But we took off the waterway.

It's true. But I will say, like when I was living in like 2007, 2007, 2008 at the comedy store. When I talked to you and I'm like, yeah, because Mark, we were shooting something and Mark said, was you able to drop me off at the store? That's not how it went. Kind of. You said you wanted to go to the comedy store. Absolutely.

And I said, I have a parking spot that I'm willing to donate to you. At the time, though, I said, I don't know if I want to go. And he said, well, if you want to come back to my place, then if you want to drop me off, great. If not, don't worry about it. He went back to my place and he sat. And he stared at the wall. He thought. Yeah, I thought about it.

But then I said, yeah, absolutely. So we drove over there. And the way that the comedy store parking lot used to work was that you would just, whether you had a spot or not, if you were a paid regular, you pulled into that lot. You pulled into that lot. You're lucky you get there like eight, nine o'clock. You pull into that spot. And then when it's time to leave.

you better have a good 45 minutes to spare because they're going to have to move. I'm the guy Tetrising your car out. Because they're going to have to move all the cars out of the way in order to get your car out if you want to leave. So you got to be prepared for that. So when I told Mark, I'm like, I don't know if I'm going to park there because it's going to take me forever to get out. He goes, it doesn't work like that anymore. And yeah, they got good, good crop of employees there right now. And that's the other part as far as the comfortability in why the duck thing went away.

Because the first, because you always go. Because look, the other part of it is when you. You're when you, whether you're regular or not, like the one thing I will say about the comedy store that you, you're in your, you're in your stripes, you're in your stripes, right? And it's like, and they honor it for as long as you're around. And until you do, it can be a very intimidating place. It is. And so the thing is, it still doesn't take away from the fact that, and I told you, I don't want to be. And I told you that was my biggest concern.

I didn't want to go there and, like, walk up to somebody at one of the employees and go without Mark and go, yeah, I'm a regular. Yeah. It just feels dushy. You don't want to be a wild hog. It just feels douche. You don't want to be getting back on the bike after so long. Right. And so the second Mark, you know, Mark went in and it was really cool about it.

And he introduced me to the new door guy. And who's the guy with the ponytail? The guy, the shaved head ponytail that was sitting up. Guam Felix. That's cool, man. Great, great sports enthusiasts as well. Big fan of that dude. Yeah.

He runs a good ship. Big fan of that dude. Because in the second you said, like, you know, every time went by, fist bump, how's it going? Like, there have been a lot of people, even in the past, that are just dushy sitting on the back. Yeah. This guy was cool.

I dug this guy. Yeah. So then I started to see people that I knew. Right. So we parked and then we got out. So you took my spot because I was going to, you know, you gave me a ride. I was going to Uber home eventually.

Yeah. And then we had a bunch of commiserating folks of bars that were out on the patio. On the bar. So walk out, do our greets, which I don't usually like doing before I go up. But, you know, I said hi. I'm like, okay, I'm going to go back. I'm going to take Christian back. Yeah.

Because Christian has authority back there. And so you and I went back, said hi, exchanged pleasantries with a couple comedians, said hi to Mark Marin, who was bringing me up later that night. We go into the main room and Tom Papa was on. Tom Papa was on stage. And then we went back and then we were the, then we were hanging out in the green room for a little bit before I went up. Yes.

And then you wanted to go out and watch Marin's set, the second half of it. And I watched the end of Papa, by the way. who was you've seen him before many times many times but have you seen his bit that he did about his wife talking about just being miserable in bed I mean not not miserable sexually yeah miserable like when he's

when he's talking about like just trying to read and she just goes off on like a Debbie Downer like no it's funny dude real funny the way it's just his presentation and everything because I was I don't remember I think I was talking to Kate about this but after watching I watched you I watched Ingram, I watched Mark Merrin. Yeah, yeah, Martin Dale.

And I watched everybody that was up there. But to me, to where I'm at right now, my life. Right. Papa, like, that's the kind of stuff that, like, I, A, related to him, B, saw myself. He's got a lot of fatherhood stuff going on. Yeah, but it's just a way in presentation and stuff, too, where he, and I was, as I was watching, as I was watching, you know, like, because Mark Marion has such a unique, like, thing about him. Can get dark. And dark and get away with it.

But that bit he closed on. I missed it. Was killing me. I saw it. Did you see the thing he did about Bezos and Branson? No. Oh, he called them two. He called them two rich cunts.

He's what I called him? Just the way. But he does it in such a way. I felt like I was watching an episode of Glow when he did it, you know? And it's like the way that it was so funny, the way he did it. He's very comfortable in his own skin. Yes. And then Ingram is just, you know, a samurai.

like master when it comes to the way the stuff he's talking about. He was talking about what was the cause of COVID? Like, and it's just incredible. Just, I mean, just watch it. There's like certain edgy things that like that he was doing. And watch, obviously you have your unique style of the references and the stuff. Did I ever tell you? I don't know.

I'm sure over our years, but what really impressed me about the first time I remember actually watching you to stand up? Oh, boy. That I carried my weight well. Yeah, it was absolutely. It was to look at this small. You carry it in your face and your boobs well. It looked like you just ate a big piece of cake and I can't tell. And it was delicious.

No, no, no. It was at the comedy store. It was in the O-R. And I think we had shot, maybe shot straws or we definitely kind of hung out a couple times before. But I was like, I was still going to the store a bit. But it was like when you were working there, I'm pretty sure. And you did it. I was there until the end of probably 2008 or nine.

Yeah. So you were, and this was like 2007. I'm probably still clocked in, to be honest. I'd probably still have checks there. But you were up there and you were, and the references were coming, and they were improv, and they were quick. And that was the first time I remember going, this motherfucker's quick.

And it was something you were doing about Return of the Jedi. And it wasn't like a bit. Sounds on brand. But it wasn't a bit that you, and it's a bummer because I've never heard you do it since. And it was, it was definitely improv because someone had thrown it out. It might have been, God, Bylick. Bylick? Maybe.

Dan Bylack? Yeah, I think it was Dan. And he threw something at you. And then you started on this whole tangent about return of the jet. And I was like, okay, well, we're going to be friends. I could tell that. But it was the quickness of it that I would, was when I first realized, okay. And that's when, then I started.

Then I said, well, you should come to Luna Park Room 5 and this one. Right, right. She's your Franco and all that shit. But, uh, but. but anyway um so just just different styles but as i'm writing all this new stuff i'm like yeah like to more into the family life stuff and and it's just sort of the mundane things about a family existence is one of the things that papa excels that because he comes from the the Seinfeld mold because he opened for Seinfeld for a long time and you can actually see him briefly in the documentary

comedian that Seinfeld did in 2000 or 2001 whenever he did it but um yeah he's just around in the green room hanging out a couple times and that's like he can't And I always busted chops about it when we're talking is that I saw him. He was the first, like, comedian that I saw live in a comedy club. Oh, really? I saw him at Dangerfields in New York when I went up there for like a three-day spring break sort of situation when I was in college. And I saw, and I wanted to go to a comedy club.

This is kind of, you know, you start to think about it. Let's see how this feels. And nobody else up there that night was particularly memorable in a good way. Who you remember him? But Papa went up in the middle of the show and just, crush he had the suit on and he's just got such a polish about him he's clean and he just does everything well his timing was just insane yeah the way it was you can just tell how seasoned he was when he was doing it was the jokes it was the timing of it was the faces he was making it was right

it was all of that and it just like it just like reminded me as i've been prepping more of the the the movements that everything counts and as i was walking practicing out of the thing last week i was but i was i was going to my head that's how he was just With the Oculus on? Not with the Oculus on yet, but you better bet your ass. I have a bit about it. You can tell your family that you're exercising, you know. If you're working out bits, if you have the Oculus, just tell them your exercise.

I know. But I was, but I just realized how people don't understand that like every little thing, that's the good prep that goes into it, whether it's a movement, facial tick, a look, a look, how much that goes into it that looks like it's organic happening in the moment. That has been, like, the moves that Sebastian does. Those are planned, timed out, move, but they look so natural and flow because that's who he is. And even when he goes, that's like every moment inside of his face is timed out to further out that joke that he's working on. To make that joke that much stronger, make that moment that much funnier because you get that leap of a, that leap of a laugh that you're like, if you do that little face,

the meat is in the actual crafting of the joke and the punchline of the joke. But if you do that little face or you do something to that just gives him that little hump of, oh, that's funny, that they're already. in this mode. You're setting them up to get the laugh now as opposed to, you know, just having them sit there with the joke. You don't do anything. It's not prepared. Just the line comes out without any other delivery and then it doesn't hit as hard as opposed to certain things you do.

Movements, faces. They know the magic trick is good. But then when you actually show them the rabbit, they're like, oh, that's great. You can tell a guy like Sebastian too has just been doing big, big houses, doing theaters and doing stadiums sometimes

for a while because the movement get bigger, the bigger the houses. Right. And so he now has all these giant movements and it works a lot better with a lot of people. Right. Then it does like back in the day when it was like maybe six people in the O.R. And it's like you have to make a personal connection with them. You can't connect to a room. You just have to make a connection with these five tourists.

Right. From Omaha. Right. Well, because you feel it that that energy, that energy is steering you. You're not steering the energy. The energy is steering you because it's the force. It really is. Arounds us, it penetrates us.

It's weird because I don't think a lot of people understand. I mean, I assume that you have the same thing. I think most comedians do, but isn't it bizarre? And this only happens to me on stage. It doesn't happen anywhere else in life. Where you just feel calm? 100%. You're like, oh, thank God.

100%. And it's one of the reasons I think that I need to go back there because it's the most, like the last year and a half for a lot of different people, but for me in general, like I've been the, like I'm just not as happy as I was. before the freaking pandemic. You're a, many people, many people. A lot of people are now more of a raw nerve.

Yeah, and it's, and I think that I need it back in my life. But the thing that I always knew, it was a weird, like, Progressive Presents, adjusting to the suburbs. I never thought about space in my cramped apartment, but in this house, all I see is empty space. The sofa and ottoman look like tiny islands in a sea of hardwood floors. I could get two Ottomans in the living room, but then I'd need another sofa.

I could tell people I'm into minimalism. Anyway, when you save with Progressive by mumbling your home at auto, that's the easy part of adjusting to the suburbs. Progressive casualty insurance company coverage provided in service by affiliates and third-party insurers. I don't know what it is. Gift? I don't know. Curse?

For some reason on stage, I can, you know, and right now we're talking, but you can't, like, hear your thoughts on what's coming next. I just hear one loud voice. Right. You know what you're going to say beforehand, but like as you're talking, when I'm talking on stage, I can talk and think clearly at the same time. Like, meaning it's like not, I guess it's harder to explain, but I mean, where it's when you're actually, I'm in middle conversation and I can, I can clearly read. It's like a computer going on the other side of, I remember to say this, this is, this is coming up as I'm talking. Like it's like Robocop's screen.

Yes. Where Robocop's walking and you can see what's in front of him and he knows I got to get. at Clarence Botaker, but he also has all these stats coming up, and he's got all these other factors that are going into his head. A hundred percent, it's Terminator. And like, when it was like, fuck you, asshole, when you choose the one that's coming up. And it's, it's weird.

Like, I'll be in the middle. I'll be having a full-on conversation and talking with the audience, and it's like a whole bunch of things that are coming in. And at the right moment clicks, oh, yeah, say that. As I'm talking. And it's like, I can't do that in life. I can't do that right now. Like, right now I have to, like, okay, stop.

A couple of things kind of come in. But like, full-on, two conversations happens. at the same time clearly and not, I'm definitely sure that I'd never been diagnosed for ADHD. I'm sure I have it. But I don't have it on stage, if that makes sense. Yeah, I noticed that the first time I ever set on stage to tell a joke in Atlanta at that comedy club is as soon as I planted my foot, the big white light was, oh, I can still think. Right.

And I can still improvise. I can still, like shift what I was going to say. Like, it's not like I have to stick to this script. I have total freedom to do whatever I want to, but I'm still within my. I'm not like my brain isn't freaking out. And so now I'm at the point now where like sometimes I'll talk shit to myself on stage too. Like if I'm doing an hour somewhere and I put a piece that I wanted to close with in the middle

and now I can't bail out. I have to finish the bit. But in my head, I'm like, you dumb motherfucker. Yeah. You idiot. Now what are you going to close with? Right. And so you can.

But you hear yourself. But it's funny. Like you everything that you just said as you're talking. Yeah. Yeah. As you're talking. And you just trust yourself. Yeah.

To be able to reshuff. from the deck. It's really just, it's comedians and pilots. Because when you're on a plane and it takes off and then you get to cruising altitude, the pilot comes on the mic to talk to. He's like, hey, if you look over there, you see the Grand Canyon. Yeah, he's talking to us and you believe he's having a conversation with us. He's also doing something else. He's doing something else. He also has another task. He is steering the ship and making sure we don't crash. That's the job of a comment. It is. And it's weird because you mentioned that thing about the doing the closing bit and what are you going to work with now. It's like you, every comedian is always working.

working with that because even going back into this and revisiting all of it as I'm writing this new stuff like I have I have this one thing that probably that I'm working on the hardest right and I'm pretty confident that it's will do well but am I confident enough that I can close with it no I got to try it a couple times right it's like I'm confident that it'll work I'm confident that the timing of it I already have I'm excited about that I've if I hit it the right way I'm I'm I'm pretty excited about it because I've been this is the one I've I've worked on the most maybe than any other thing I've ever worked on. But those are the ones that burn that burn me when I put them earlier is when I know that I want

to close on something because it's either going to reference something earlier in the set or you just know that you have like boom, boom, boom, and then thank you good night. So I personally, I've just been with this new hour, I've just been, I have like five different things that I have just sort of rotated in the barrel. When I, when I end like what the last joke is, I don't even remember the one I did that night, but it was like, it was one of the ones in contention, but they all just like, I just. The other night. Yeah, I just have to settle on one and then just chisel it to make sure it has like the sort of ending that I would want.

And it was, but I mean, that's the beauty of a place like the store is that you just get to go. Keep working it out. It's the X-Bend danger room. You get to go in and either sometimes it's dialed up to 10. Sometimes it's at a two. Right. And you just get to figure out the pulse of the room, the pace of it. And you go up and you get your work up.

Is there any other better feeling, though, when you have like three spots at the store and you come up with a new. bit you try it the first time it gets the laughs you wanted to be like oh what if i would have tried that then you can jump up 15 minutes later in the other room try it again oh and then and then it worked like just be able to work out the same the same joke in the same night the best feeling for me is when it doesn't really matter which one you do first is because they're close enough together where you can walk to one and the other is the laugh factory in the comedy store is if you do something if you're working out something to the comedy store and then you have a set at the laugh factory later that night.

Right. You do it at the comedy store and then you walk down and you're like, I know this is going to literally blow the roof off the stage. It's the same thing. When you do to the laugh factory, then you walk down to the comedy store, it worked great and you're like, okay, but I know I was a little loose. I need to tighten that bolt. I need to put a little more elbow grease into that because you may not be able to

get away with the same thing. Right. Well, I can speak more on the improv because I told you. I've never gone up to the Lafactory before. Wacky to me. And that was a stupid choice as a young fool. You're an old. fool.

No, I'm an old fool. Who injures himself breathing. Right. So maybe I can do that on the laugh factory stage. But I can't wait to throw out your back with, is that why you don't laugh in my jokes anymore? That's it. You're afraid to laugh. I'm laughing inside really, but I'm just very cautious.

You're like, hmm, no. Right. Now, I can't do it. Already cracked a red. Oh, man, I'm crying. That's it. It's over. It's a good joke, Mark.

All the king's horses and all the king's man. That's it. Could put happy Harloff back together again. So, we don't have a king. our horses, but we got some duct tape. We'll do what we can. That's it. But I was, yeah, I would do the improv and it was the same thing. It was, you, the improv is if you have a joke that you're doing it at the improv, you work it out at the store. Yeah, then you get on the improv stage and you're like, oh, this is what, oh, our man. What I tell people all the time is the

store is great, but you have got to get out of that place occasionally. Just because you can't get stuck in one rut too long because the comedy store has that darkness to it where if that's the only place you're going up, you just start to, it starts to get in. It starts to get you a little bit. You think this is all comedy is. Like every room is going to be like me. You need to go on the road. You need to do other clubs.

Just to remind yourself that you're funny. Right. Because you may not get that reminder for a while at the comedy store, which is how it's designed. Yes. And also because the comedy store now has become a place where people, patrons have come to hang out and come to watch comedy and come to be. They're like, you know, returning customers coming back and just and they become that experience crowd that it's like, you know, I just saw so and so and. I just saw so-and-so here. And it's not like going to, you know, a place in like Ohio that's just,

they're out for, tonight's their big night. Right. Who's going on a date night tonight? Who's going to go up? Does anybody have the nerves? Right. They decided to do a comedy club. It's, it's dad's birthday and he wants to go to the comedy club, you know?

Like, that's, those people are going to be a lot easier than the reoccurring Los Angeles Comedy Club. Jaded, vampires, soulless. Not to mention that they might be agents or actors or producers or, or, or whatever, who just like, yeah, go ahead, make me laugh. Right. There's shit in there. I mean, it's, the crowd on, on Saturday night was fantastic.

In the main, they've been great. They were fun. They were really fun. But, like, just watching everybody, and I thought everybody had a really, had said, everyone moved the room very well. I don't know who opened. When I got there, Papa was on, so I don't know who, who was the first. Oh, that's a great, great.

Who opened the room? I have no idea. It's a big thing, no pun intended, being able to open that room. and set the mood. You got to set the pace. Set the mood. It's the beauty of, you never, you never master it. There's always different spots.

There's always different ways. Like following Marin is a lot different than if you go up cold. Or if you're going up second or if Argus is bringing you up, it's just it's always a different temperature. And that's the fun of it. The big thing about that is when you. Okay, we know the name of the show. I know, I said it twice than I heard myself.

But it's also like anything else, Like, Steph and I were talking about, like, dating. And it's a confidence. I didn't know you. That's awesome. Yes, my wife doesn't. Good for you, too. But we were, but we were talking about the confidence of men or women.

You just feel it right away. The audience smells it in a second. Right. You're not confident. They're really going to make you. They'll eat you alive. They eat you alive. So if you're following someone like Mark Marin, you've got to pretend when you go up.

But you've been on all these different shows, and you've had this podcast. You've got to have the energy that, like, yeah, I'm, I'm a regular at this place, and I'm going to be here as much as anybody else, too, and you got to have that confidence of this that. And you did. So you came out of like, oh, this is Marr. But you did. You made me not inside.

Oh, no, no, no, I did. But it takes years to just get that. It takes years. It takes years. The near off of, like, I can't believe I'm on this stage. Or it's like this guy that I've looked up to. It's like at some point, and it's no disrespect to any of the other comics. But at some point, just in your head, or at least the way I'm wired,

I don't care who's bringing me up when they're bringing me up. Right. It's like that's my, that stage is mine. Yeah. As you should. I own that stage now. Off you go. The one that, and I had a good set still after he brought me up that I, I've told you

about the time Dice brought me up, right? Because you know, I was a massive Dice fan growing up as a kid. And did I ever tell you about what he said when he brought me up? I just got made it. It's one of my favorite stories ever. ever so he he he brings he goes up and he to his credit too he just he didn't because Eddie Griffin everybody was due to June three for dice did like I don't know half an hour dice would stick to his time stick to his time and and he and he had like two spots and he did

and he did it was like back to back they would do that sometimes and he and he did the 30 minutes and he and he was like all right who's up next right and then they I will say and I'll go back to the story in a second I forgot to tell you this um I did get very very sad Missing Jeff? Yeah. Yeah. When I walked into the OR, it was the first time I'd walked in since he passed. And I walked in and I looked over and he wasn't there.

And he wasn't there. I'd never seen that before. I love that his name is up there, though. Me too. His name is up there. The name Jeff Scott is up there. But he's the guy who would be tickling the Iries, but also if the comic didn't know who's next or if somebody didn't show up for your spot.

That's why I bring him up. Yeah. Wait, like, because I even brought that up when one of the times I was, you know, eulogizing him is just like, that's what I missed. That's what I was telling myself. That's how you get through the pandemic. You cannot wait to get back on the R stage. Have a good set and then say, who's our next comic, Jeff?

Right. And so Dice asked him that. So Dice asked him, Jeff, who's our next comic? And he goes, it's Christian Orlov. Yeah, and you just hope that. Because Jeff and I were very close. Yeah. And he was very encouraging to me and everything, too.

It's not the easiest name to hear if you haven't heard it before to nail it. Dice had no idea. And Dice goes, yeah, this guy. You've seen this guy on fucking Saturday Night Live. Yeah, right. You've seen him all. over the place. He's been on every television set known to

man, the big star fucking Christian Harloff. He got the name. And I was like, that and I probably said it just like this. That was awesome. Yeah. Yeah. It's like, thank you, Dice. And yeah, it walked off.

Dice thinks you're on Saturday Night Live. Pretty cool. It was. I'd never forget it. It was a great, that was a great moment. I laughed uncontrollably about it. And I, because I, Do you remember Christy Miller? Do you ever meet Christy Miller? So Christy Miller.

Leatherpants, Christy. Yes. So Christy Miller, I had met at Luna Park back in the day. And she was very close with Dice. Yeah. She was very cool. I liked her a lot. She was a sweetheart.

An absolute sweetheart. And she introduced me to Dice in the back area right before you, you know, the bar. You go around the side, the little area before you go to the outside and right there. They still have the two little black couches right there. Like, you know. So this is the bar dock here and then you go. No. No, they go over those little two black couches.

Yeah, and go up the stairs. And the cocaine table next to it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, it's gone. Okay. So, so Dice was there and I was, and she, it was the first time I ever met him. I started talking and I started telling him about like the things and I told him about this, this bit that he did. There was, that I really loved that was the, um, when he talked about, dating a girl after a little bit. And then he, and he's trying to break over there, he doesn't know how.

And he goes and he, he's, oh, look at that. He goes, oh, look at that. He's going on a nice, you know, a nice date. with the parents and oh look at that my balls they're out of my pants they're in the marineros look at my fucking bulls he does this whole thing 13 year old kid loves it so I started telling him and he goes oh yeah yeah I remember that bad it's a good bit I love that bit

tell me the rest of that bit and I'm giving him his bits and he's laughing it was it was great well was at that same spot where Chris Rock had gotten off stage and this is like 94 90 or maybe early 95 probably 94 and dice was around and he was hanging out back there. Chris gets off stage and he goes back and him and Dice are talking for a little bit at those two black couches.

And Dice asked him, you know, well, you're not on SNL anymore, what's going on? And he said, well, yeah, now I got them taping this HBO thing. Oh, right. Is that the one the big one? Bring the pain, yeah. And his first HBO special, which still might be the most perfect hour of comedy I've ever seen. And he's about to tape. And he just like didn't, I guess, seen that enthused.

And Dice just looks at him. He's like, you've got to train for this, like, you're rocky. Like you just gave him this like big emotional pep talk. Yeah. To just get as ready as possible for this moment that is going to be, could be huge for you. That's awesome. And then we get, bring the pain, the best special ever.

And that was the thing. You know, I still don't think he gets, I mean, I know from like people the story does, but I don't think he gets the credit that he deserves because of his, because of his personality. Right. When people try to chalk him up as like a, like a flash in the pan or like a chauvinist and all that stuff, like there's definitely element. And his character they did would never fly today. To that character and to those jokes.

But when you just watch him do stand up, he did this bit about being at Staples and just trying to figure out how to buy office supplies at Staples that was killing me. It's that stuff. I remember, it's funny you say that because I remember. And it had nothing to do with sex or anything. That's what I was about to say.

When I went to the OR, the first time I, because I had Dice when I was younger, when I was like 13. I saw him at Radio City Music Hall. My dad got me to go see him, go see that. go see that. I saw him a radio see musical. Were you yelling out nursery rhymes?

No, I was too in awe of him, right? So, like, I was... I didn't want to get grounded. Right. I had seen him, I had seen him there. You know, I was a big fan of him. Like, so much so, we took a limo to go see him, like a bunch of friends and I...

That would do it. The whole shabang. It was the first time I ever smoked pot ever in my life. Was in that limo to see dice. Transformative of the evening. Yes. So, but anyway, so when I first got to the store and just working out before you,

before I got passed, he was going up. And I would, I'm like, oh, Dicey, I got to watch. And I remember thinking, and I had seen all of his specials on HBO. I'd seen everything. And I remember, like, towards the end when he started to go down a bit, you know, because it's anytime you hit that plateau. Only one way to go. And he, and it was right when that shift came in, like, from the, like, the late 80s

to the 90s of the shift in just culture in general, what was acceptable, what was not. And some of the bottom started, the comedy boom of the 80s itself was starting to. People were realizing, oh, we just can't put up a comedy club like it's a Starbucks and have it succeed. And so a lot of clubs were closing down in the early mid-90s. And it didn't really have a resurgence until the 2000s with your boy, Dane Cook. And also the internet. The internet completely changed comedy. Dane was one of the first ones to have like, oh, this is a professional cool website.

This is like a fun place to hang out on the information super highway. And he was doing that like in like 2000. He started his website and stuff. I remember that when he was, that's how he would get. get people to. But with Dice, knowing that, you know, he, I'd seen him kind of going on that downwards, not spiral, but it was just, it was different. And he was relying on a lot of the sex stuff because that's what the brand was.

And I always remember thinking myself, I wonder what he would be like if he wasn't just focused on the sex stuff. And then I saw him and the O.R. one night, I was like, oh, we got to watch Dice. It's the first time I, since Radio City musical, seeing him. And he did, it must have been an hour. It must have been close to it. I don't know how long he was up there. but he was up there for a while,

and he wasn't doing a lot of sex jokes at all. And it was just talking about these things, talking to the crowd, talking about similar to what you were talking about, just things that he had been doing in his life. And it was a riot. It was so funny. And I'm like, where's that?

But that's what I mean. He doesn't get enough credit because he's still, whether it's going to Vegas and ruling Vegas for as long as he did, you know, after the boom of his career. being on entourage and having his own show and being in an Oscar winning movies and whether it's Star is born or what's the one with Cape Lanchette that blue Jasmine Blue Jasmine was great in that the guys had a great career it's been a very it's it's been a much more eclectic career than you would expect for somebody who came to the comedy store is Andrew Silverstein

and then started going by Andy Clay and then the dice thing happened and then it exploded like okay well that's you for the rest of your life and he's been able to somewhat maintain that image, but also be able to veer in different directions. And despite the puppet line, you know, we got mad at me. Have you ever talked about that on? Many times. Oh, you've talked about it on air? No, with him.

With afterwards? Yeah. Oh, you've never told me that? We've always, Dice and I have always been very cool. I know. Can we tell the story of what happened or no? I don't care. And correct me if I'm wrong.

Yeah. What had, he was on, he was on Rogan. I'll tell the story. Okay, so Rogan was doing his show, um, taping out of the Ice House. Yes. at that time. And so whoever had spots at the Ice House,

we just kind of pop in and hang out with Joe and just kind of shoot the breeze for a little bit. So I can't remember who was on the show. I think it was me. It might have been Greg Fitzsimmons. It was his son, right? It was in Dice's son. And, yeah, and Dice's son, Max,

who is a hell of a drummer. They're both great musicians, his kids. And Max and I had seen each other, like, we always saw each other at the stories. We just always, like, you know, kind of shot the shit. And so we were making, I think I was, I think I was telling him, like, why didn't you play lead guitar instead of, like,

bass or drums or whatever because lead guitars like are, you know, the sexier. Those are the ones that get all the groupies. And Dice took offense. I guess Dice thought I was rat. So I knew Dice and knew Max. I guess Dice didn't put it together. You thought you were ragged on his kid. Then I was ragged, which I probably came off as.

I have no idea. But Max not were cool. And so then Dice. You're busting his balls. You'd bust mine. Right. And then Dice went on Rogen and was mad. And then Rowe.

And to Joe's credit, Joe's like, no, he was just. Yeah. He's like, he's a good guy. Yeah. No, he was just breaking up. You're fucking poop and screaming. So you've talked to him about it afterwards. Yeah.

So what did you say? That you never told me about it. No, no. It was so, it was just so like, you know, innocuous. We're at the comedy store. You know, see each other. Talk. And I guess I told him at some point, like I wasn't offending.

Like, Max and I are cool. And I'm sure he doesn't care. Right. He was just doing it for the bit anyway. Probably. Yeah. Yeah. That's fun.

I mean, that's the other thing. But no, we see each other all. You know. Yeah. Does he go up a lot of the store still? I haven't, I don't know if I've seen him at the store since. since stuff's back, but he's been hitting the road, I think. Yeah.

Well, because Eleanor and him are still. Eleanor and him are great. Yeah, and I think... So good seeing her, by the way. Yeah. Yeah, she's just one of the bright lights at that place. Yeah. She's great.

Yeah, so, I mean, Eleanor Harrigan, who I've... She was a waitress at the time. She was a waitress at the story, yeah. Yeah, and then we were just goofing. It was great because the... And I told this story to Kate the other day, and for those people who have to hear it again, but you didn't hear... I don't think you heard this.

Oh, you did because it was me. No, no, no, it was me, Ingram and Eleanor, you haven't heard this yet. So the bartender at the front, what was her name? Jenny. She's great. So Jenny Comedy Club carded me. Did I tell you this? No.

So we were, so Andrew Guy was in the front and he's like, let me buy you drink, man. He's a shit house story, right? So I'm like, no problem. So he goes, so he tells Jenny, he goes, he's like, this guy used to do comedy here. And in my head, I'm like, when you say that, she could just think that I was at a, the belly room in 2006. Yeah, because Jenny knows she's been there and she's heard all the BS stories.

Right. So I was like, I'm a regular at the club. I just said, she's like, and real quick, she goes, where's your name?

And within seconds, I go, it's in the back wall before the engines right next to Ari, near James Painter, right by Brody. And she's, you're regular. She goes,

regular's know how to spot their names out quick. And then I was, talking to Eleanor and Ingram in the back. We're just laughing in the back. And she comes up, she's like, all right, he's so he's legit. He's legit. So she was cool. I got to tell you.

So I felt very welcome by the staff and in general, the atmosphere there was pretty. It was more welcoming that I remember even back in the day when I was. As you should have. We had a bunch of us, a bunch of our community folk show up there by the end of the night. I didn't tell you, maybe I did text you this. Just because you know me and you know what a fan I am of certain numbers. Yeah. And I, you know, I buy everybody's drinks up there because I got it's super cheap.

And the total, I won't say how many drinks I bought or how many people I was buying drinks for. On your tab. You're the, kind of guess it? That's what the number was. Your tab. Yeah. And this is not, I'm not trying to get you to be like, oh, it was this exorbitant number. It's a special number.

Yeah. $51. $0.50. Was it? It's $51. And I looked at it. And I'm like, because. Huh?

Did you save it? No. I might have taken a picture of it. Save that. But it was also funny because that boom box, like, the last hour they had been playing nothing but Van Halen that she gives me the bill. And so I tip a lot there. And it was like 51.50. I'm like, this is so

perfect. Yeah. Well, especially when you've had this, you just had this miraculous season where we've had two matches so far. 5150. That are 5150. And they've been legendary. Yeah. So you get Dimalanta you got Dimalanta and Damon and then the odd couple versus Shazette. And the odd couple

versus should, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So it's, it's, what was the final score of Napsock Whitworth? That was like 52. That was probably something. It was, I remember it was close.

It was a big score. It was just, it was just specifically hitting 5150 twice in the season is, and then you're getting a receipt that's 5150. Yeah, that's, that's, take your luck to Vegas. You know what is also nuts that we're, we're pretty excited about ladies and gentlemen. I talked to you about that already, but no, not that one.

And not the little dog. Oh, and not the spectacular. But ladies and gentlemen, you know what I'm just tell you. I shudder to see what pick is next. I can't even tell you anymore. Oh, it's me. Like, yeah, it's just you. Ladies and gentlemen, we're excited.

Mark's actually excited about this too because he's worked with this company before, but this is, have you heard of cuts? Oh, I love cuts clothing. Great. I got a bunch of shirts from them. I was wearing a cuts shirt at the comedy store that night. Cuts, they're very comfortable and want to let you guys know that the sport of business means demanding excellence from your craft and your wardrobe

and your frits have to be versatile. Blending timeless style and comfort so that you look as good as you feel, and for that, there are cuts clothing. They've taken a classic men's fashion staple, the plaintee, and they refined it, combining premium quality with a minimalist aesthetic, built for performance in the boardroom, the bar, gym, cuts clothing, keep you sharp wherever the game takes you. You take a plain tea, but you can make it Tony Stark.

That's right, the bleeding edge of fabric technology meets the man confident enough to wear it. Thank you. They sent me some very comfortable. I got, and I got a hoodie, which I love the quality. The fit is great, but what I love about this shirt the most is how it combats my, one of my many personal issues, which is, which is the armpit sweat. Oh, yeah, no, no, no. It masks it better than I have ever worn in a shirt before because I was wearing, I'm like,

it's hot in L.A. right now. I can put these things on. I can go walk the dog. I can just, and I look down and I just, knowing me and knowing the colors, because my color palette, I could only wear, like, black shirts. Right. And now I have like a cool, like an Army green one. Yeah, the color's great, too, yeah.

And it's, and nothing's bleeding through. It's amazing. Well, so this is a little bit about the company, if you didn't know. In 2016, Cuts founder, Steve Burrell, set out to create clothes ready for every occasion the modern man faces. He started by reinventing the T-shirt, and he really has. The end result, GQ Magazine calls it the only shirt worth wearing. Is it the perfect T-shirt? It's accomplished.

Next cuts set out to create fabric uniquely engineered for each clothing style. Consider the new Cuts hoodie, which is what I have, and I love it, where they developed. I got to get one of those. I got to show you it's super comfortable. They developed the Hyperloop French terry fabric, a textile that is, that's temperature controlled. And it's ageless. So you'll never need to take it off, and you certainly won't want to. They also have wrinkle free.

The polo, I also have the polo. Look at you. Yeah, man, they send me a bunch of this. I love it. I've been wearing them. I think I've wore it on this show already once before. I just didn't talk about it. but now I'm talking about it, and each piece of clothing is designed with custom engineered fabric,

expertly graded for the perfect fit. It arms you for every challenge and opportunity. It's not just a lifestyle, guys. It's not just clothing. It's office leisure apparel for the sport of business. You get 15% off of your first order, and it is worth it. I'm telling you, 15% off your first order by going to cutsclothing.com slash S-E-N-Live. That is cutsclothing.com slash S-E-N-Live.

Get 15% off the only shirt worth wearing. I will be wearing a cut shirt probably on stage. In Seattle, July 24th, you can get tickets at Mark Ellis. Dot Live. Can we put a link in the description here? Yes, you got to send it to me. Otherwise, I'll forget. I will send it to you, and we'll put it in the link because it is.

Tickets are going well. I'm actually very enthused with that. That's a great question. You should probably know that. It's the, there's two rooms there. Yeah. And so one room is, I think, like, 100 and the other one is like 300 or maybe 250, something like that. So you're doing both?

I'm in the big room. You're in the big room? So 250. So, yeah. How many we got left? I have no idea. All right. So I hear tickets are selling well.

So yeah, sell it out. Let's get there. Sell it out. Let's go Seattle. Me. Ken Absock. Who else? Daniel Bridge, Gad.

Got a couple of locals going up. Good. Should be a fun time. Yeah. See, that's what I'm looking forward to. Special guests in the crowd. Yeah, October night. Very special guest.

October 9th, New York. Mm-hmm. I haven't put them on sale yet. I'm patiently waiting. But we should be putting on sale. You look patient. We're putting them on sale. We're just a matter of win.

You don't have shaky leg at all. No, getting these tickets on sale. I'm literally shaking my leg right now thinking about it. But the October 8th looks like we're going to be doing a show, yeah? Yeah. Yeah. We got, we got, there's opportunity there's opportunity. So that's something that we could be doing also.

You've been watching anything worth a one? No. Just TV, sports? I watched a lot of shark movies. doing research for verses. Okay. What's shark movies did you? I'll give you some trivia, some shark movie trivia.

Okay. Between the shallows, deep blue sea, and the Meg. Yeah. Which movie did the best at the domestic box office? Give me one more time. Try to rank them in order. Meg, Deep Blue C, and what was the third? The shallows.

Hmm. It's hard because of inflation, but I would say... We adjust for inflation. Okay. Yeah. It's our expert. research. I know I'm going to regret this. This is, this is the list I was going to go with, and then I'll give you my official list. The list I was going to go with was the shallows,

um, deep blue sea and then the meg. Okay. I'm going to switch it up and I'm going to say, I'm going to say the deep blue sea, um, Meg and then the shallows. All right. You had your initial instinct. Yes. Was so dead wrong. Okay, good. This is how about the second? You reverse it. The Meg did the best. Meg did the best. And then Deep Blue C. And then the shallows. Okay. They all did over $100 million globally.

Interesting. Okay. But here in the States, Deep Blue C. The Meg. Then Deep Blue C. Right. Yeah.

It was a pretty tight. I think the, I think the Meg did like 14 million more than Deep Blue C. I remember the Meg doing, I remember it being not good. I didn't really care for it that much. It's not that good. I really did like,

I appreciated the shallows. And Deep Blue C, I had watched it, like I rented it when it came out from Hollywood video or whatever. Right, right. And I was surprised that. at that moment, when that moment happens, which is great. But the movie's really fun.

It's fun. I remember it being fun. But it's also just like, because you can't remake- I didn't like the shallows. You can't remake Jaws. You cannot remake Jaws. So what Deep Blue Seated is like, well, we're not trying to remake Jaws. We're going to make a horror movie that happens to have sharks that are genetically modified. And they give a good enough reason where we're doing, we're trying to experiment on

these sharks so we can help humans. Right. But we're still in an isolated area because you're in this research facility in the middle of nowhere. and so you have a very limited amount of people. You have sharks swimming around that are genetically modified so they know how to turn off security cameras. And that was... It's cool.

It is. And it's way more... You can explain it better than Jaws 4 that the shark is just pissed off. Poor Jaws 4. Jaws the Revenge. So between Jaws the Revenge and Deep Blue C, which... Sorry, Jaws the Revenge and Deep Blue C2... I know there was one.

Which movie is higher rated on the tomato meter? It has to be Deep Blue C2. The answer is a trick question. They're both in zero percent. Zero. It's bad. Now, Jaws the Revenge does rebound with the audience score. Okay.

It's all the way up to 15%. I saw that movie in the theater with my grandfather. Jaws the Revenge? It's a bad movie. There's two versions of that movie, by the way. You know that, right? There's a version where Mario Peoples doesn't die. Oh, I heard that.

No, no, no. Then I saw the version where he doesn't die. You saw the version, and that was like on TV. Yes, it was taped from TV. Because I remember we were so excited. The kids were so excited. We were maybe like, I don't know, five years old when it was going to debut on TV. Maybe I was, no, I must have been a little bit older.

But it came on, I was seven or eight. Yeah. Yeah, we were still living in Fairfield, California. And I remember my sister was sitting in the chair. I wanted to sit in to watch it. I was pissed. You born in California? No, I was born in North Carolina.

Okay. And so we were stationed in North California by this time. She's sitting in the chair. I want to sit in, and I'm mad about it. But I, I guess I had seen Jaws a Revenge of, before she did. And so I knew what was coming. And early in the movie, Sean, the youngest of the Brodies, eats it. Eats it. And the shark popping out of the water is awesome. And so I timed it. I snuck up behind her and the shark popping out of the water and I scared her. Popcorn went, I got so much trouble.

I had to vacuum all that stuff. But you thought was the funny thing. Oh, I was totally weird. That's a very early comedian knowing when something is going to work. A hundred percent. Damn the torpedoes. Don't worry about the consequences. You can ground me for a month. I am taking this shot. It was like when I got banned from that comedy club in Minnesota. It was a little different. Not really. I knew it was going to work. You ran the light.

You ran the light by a mile. Seven minutes. Yes. I did not run the light. No. I would never do that a million years now. But like that all, I just couldn't believe it.

Three minutes that guy gave me. I was a regular at the store. You're surfing. And you were having a great set. Yeah. And you just then, you just don't want to get off the way. And I still kept going.

I would have done the same thing. You and I have done the same thing. Tommy Savitt was not happy with me. Savit. Yeah. I know Tommy. You just had to do your fucking jokes. You had to do your samurai bit.

You just had to do your fucking jokes. That's what he did. And to that, never did anything. I was, I was in a almost like depression from doing that for like, it was, that was when you cross a, a comedian no-no. When you do like. Then you think you're never going to get booked anywhere again. Right. When you're part of the, when you, we become part of the club and yet it's like, it's like,

It's like that I'm watching so much as Sopranos. It's like when the two kids who were trying to come up the ranks, they mentioned to Tony in the bathroom. Like, hey, you know, you want to get caught? He's like, you know, you want to get caught? He's like, you don't do that. And like, there's things that you do when you're in the club. Right.

And you're part of it that you don't do. And it's like, and I'm not and I, and I, and nor have earned it. Even though Eddie Griffin shouldn't have been doing an hour, two hour, three hours. He shouldn't have ever been doing that. Yeah. He never should have been doing it. Let's use a better example. Like when, whether Rogan or whoever it was is up there doing an hour or whatever it is to us,

from the comedy store and stuff, they have earned that spot. They've earned certain things that they've done. And they're not necessarily blowing it because they've established with the club that that's what they were going to be doing. Especially, I mean, if you put your name on the marquee and you're the reason why everybody's there. And you do a couple extra minutes. I can live with it. Yes. Like, so when it was this room in Minnesota, it was like all of these comics, it was me, Tommy Sassie.

I have a bunch of other comedians, but there was just one, Daniel, I can't remember the guy. Shit, what was his name? Minnesota's a nice little hotbed of stand-up. It was good. It was a good club. It was a really good club. And I just remember seeing it. Danny Hassami was the guy's name.

He doesn't do comedy anymore, but like Danny Hassami was the guy's name. And Danny Hassami, I had been a regular at the comedy store now for maybe like a year, right? Yeah. And going back to what you said, you speak just, and I was there every night, performing there every night. but nowhere else at that point. I wasn't doing room five. And so I was, and Tommy was the one,

we did the treble run or whatever that. You know, and then like the full. All up through the Pacific Northwest? Everywhere. If you like meth. Yeah, we just, we went everywhere. We just drove everywhere. And we went, we went to Colorado, though.

We went, so we went everywhere. And it was, it was really crash course comedy stuff. Because the majority, minus that show, I was very happy with all the stuff that I was doing. Like, as I was learning and I was trying new things and on the road, new crowds. Like, it was, it was very eye-opening and new for me. No, I had a girlfriend, but no, no kids. No, no consequences and that type of thing where it was just, just, you wake up when you do.

You wake up at three in the afternoon. You do a set, you go sleep. But I remember being there going, okay, well, Tommy's been doing this for a bit. He's going to, Tommy did, like, had like eight or ten minutes or something, right? Danny Hassami, who had just started doing comedy, had like six or seven minutes. I had three. Oh, and you felt short chance. I felt short change.

You had a chip on your shoulder. I had a chip on my shoulder like an asshole at 24, 25 years or whatever I was at the time. And I'm like, I can do a couple extra minutes. And then as I'm doing it, the crowd was losing it. And they were loving it. And I'm like, he's not going to mind the guys. If I push in a little time, he sees that I'm doing really well. He's going to let me go.

Right. You think it's all about the art. That's what I thought. And I learned quick, lights flashing. And I was like, I think it was the last one, one of the last ones. lights flashing violently now. And then Mike goes off. And I'm like, oh.

So like, okay, clearly he's going to get off. So I'm finishing my bed. And I went another two minutes like Robin Williams in the main room with no microphone. I just, I would love to. No way. I would love to play that bit just like now on YouTube. I would be able to watch it. And I know, but it's like, just because the memories of it and just the way that it

gestates in your brain for so long with an experience like that. It was, it was, I would, and mortified though for it because like, Tommy really, as he should have, really let me have it. As he should have. As he should have. I would have done the same thing. As you should have. I was barred from, I was the only comedy club in my life. I never. And for as long as you did comedy, because you knew me, you didn't know me that. For as long as you knew me and come, did you ever see me blow the light?

No, no, no, no. Never. No. You were trained. I was trained. You had the newspaper hit you in the nose. Like a dog that pissed in the living room. We have any fans up there.

I would love to get back to Acme. I just don't have a beat on it. I have a. another comedy club in Minneapolis that I have an offer from. I kind of love to go back to that. I think I'm still banned there? The guy told me lifelong. Yeah, I can't imagine it's the same guy.

Management at a comedy club. Just wait, no way they remember me. No. And if they do, it'll be an even better story. He escorted me out of the club. He waited for me to go off.

We go up there. I want you to go up. I want you to have a great set, and I'm cutting your mic off just for the goof. You 100% shit. Just for the goof. Dude, he absolutely, this guy was hot. And he was, I think he was like, I think he was a Filipino dude.

And he was like just like out, like just walked me from and threw me out. I remember at the time thinking, because the crowd was, well, yeah, it's like I'm a rebel. It's like I'm Sid vicious. I felt like a wrestler. Yeah. And I was, that's when I was like, you know, into wrestling and the crowd's losing. I felt like Stone Cold Steve Austin. And then when Tommy quickly was like, I got us in here because of my name.

Yeah, right. So that doesn't just affect you, motherfucker. Yeah. That affects me. I've had to have those conversations with people. And I was like, you know, young stupid kid going, what did I just do? And like, again, they both, him and Danny was less breaking my chops about it as he was. Like, but in like, can he continue to even after he was not mad anymore?

He continued to like rib me on it. Again, he should. But like every other show after that, I might have finished a minute before I was supposed to go off the stage. The thing that people don't realize is like, yeah, it's like this cool rock and roll moment, you know, because like you grow up and you're like, if it's too loud, you're too old. And then you have a house or an apartment and you have loud neighbors and you're like, oh, it is too loud. I don't know if I'm too old, but it is too loud and you need to do something about this. It's like the conundrum that every comedian faces with Andy Kaufman. Yeah.

Because we all want to look up to Andy Kaufman as this comic genius, which he was as this legend. But it's also this guy's going on stage and he's running the light. and he's playing bongos and he's reading books and he's walking half the room. Right. And I got to go up next. Right. Like at some point, the cast of Taxi, I'm sure it's like you look back on it and you're like, oh, what a genius he was.

But when you're there for those long days on set. Well, I think he ever wanted to fight him. Yeah. Yeah. Of course. That's why he just started wrestling everybody. That's why. Because that was, I mean, that was his brand of humor, which was so crazy about him.

But like, yeah, it was not, not all of people like Andy Coffin. I was thinking him on the way. over here because I heard that that REM song man on the moon. Oh, it's such a good song. It's such a good song. Great movie. Yeah. So all, I mean, all of that, I just remember like that was just, yeah, that was a crash course.

Yeah. That was a crash course. And it was like, it was, it was definitely one of the more. I mean, but like I said that you're still stinging from. I, I, I, I don't, that's not, I don't, that's not me. Don't worry, honey. When you go back on stage, I'll make sure you see the light. But I feel like I'll get a little hook.

It helps, dude. It helped though, because because I never blew the light. at the comedy store and I was already regular there. Never blew it. I saw the light come from at the sign. I was off when I was supposed to be off because I didn't want to because I didn't want to, you know, shit where I eat. It's like Black Widow. The training kicks in. Even if you haven't done it in a minute, you know when you're on a stage and you see a light,

you're like, oh, okay, that's my cue. Yeah, but I was aware that I earned it, that I hadn't earned it there. You know, I was aware that and it's, and I think the cockiness of a stupid kid at that time going, well, I should have got more time. Like, I earned my stripes at the comedy store. You should at least give me five, right? And it was a, it was, and quickly, nosepaper, uh, nosepaper.

Oh, you just combined the nose. Yeah, nosepaper. It was, I got a nosepaper. Hey, look, and I should have. All flying with wax wings and a case you're going to get too close to the sun. And we're going to fall to earth. And we just put on the next set of wax wings and we hope we don't make them as hot. It's 100%.

And I'll tell you though, man. Like I never, never did that ever again. after that. And for the rest of the trip, like, learned, learned a lot from that trip. Set in the trunk the rest of the trip. I didn't, I don't think I said a word for the rest of the time. They just drive you to Canada and they're like, all right, good luck, getting back. I didn't say, we went out to eat that night somewhere and I remember just sitting. Like, I've seen the same look from my daughter, like, after we have, like, told her, like, she said the wrong thing to my wife. And you just sit there.

Yeah. Sit there. Like, sit there in your own filth. I just sat there. And, like, it was like that guilty thing of, like, here, eat your food. no, I don't deserve to eat. I'm going to be banned on chucklemonkey.com. This is nothing's ever going to work out for me. No, you got to respect the badge. I didn't respect the badge that night.

And meaning... You know what I mean? Like, the fact is, I don't give a shit if that audience loved what I was doing. It doesn't matter. The dude who books it, who's going to determine whether or not more crowds love what I'm doing.

That was one crowd of, let's say, I think it was 400 people, and there was a lot of people in that room. Like, however big it was, it was packed. It was packed. However many people that room sat, it was maxed out. So if it was 200, it was 400, it was 400. I remember it being big.

And just like, yeah, there would have been more crowds that I could have potentially done and come back to ahead and I. So don't do that ever if you're a comedian. Yeah. For more of the Christian Harlow comedy class, make sure you order his book the Comedy Bible. Judy, what's her? 2999, Judy Carter. Judy Carter.

God. All right. I took her class. You did, I know. Sebastian took her class. I know. What more do you need? You said why?

You want me to do the same material. To do it again. For the same audience. The same and not more. The class? What class? I got to meet one of you for coffee? Here's not one of you.

Even you, Judy. gonna be Addis Corsese film He's in the Irish Dude that guy is in every academy You put him in a movie You're guaranteed a nomination

It's gonna get a nominated Green Book That Yeah What's he doing? He's doing something else coming up soon Doesn't he? Probably something good, yeah

Fucker He's the best Talent All right look This is fun Talent and not running the light No Gets you far in the light

We ran the light today But I like that we ran the light You're in the light on that story a little bit. Yeah, I know. I know. I just haven't lived it. I haven't lived it in so long. I haven't lived it in so long.

All right. Thank you guys so much. Thank you to Mark Ellis. Thank you to our friends over at Captain Morgan. You guys are the best. We appreciate you. We'll see you very soon. Make sure you subscribe to this podcast feed.

Apple Podcasts, Google Podcast, Spotify. Leave a comment on this channel. But make sure you subscribe and, you know, do the whole thing. Download the episodes. It helps tremendously. Thank you, guys. Peace.