The Lazy Genius Podcast - #12: The Lazy Genius Buys a Gift

Episode Date: March 6, 2017

In this episode, I share ways to come up with great gift ideas and actually remember them. After you listen and what you heard when you did: I've gathered some of my favorite unique gift ideas for bakers, gardeners, readers, and nerds. Do you keep hearing about the Bullet Journal but have no idea where to start? I've got you covered. Fascinated by the shirt covered in lines from Jane Eyre? Get yours at Litographs. I have the Nancy Drew shirt and love it. My favorite Etsy shops will make you super happy. I love Uncommon Goods for... wait for it... uncommon gifts. This music video about giving somebody a candle is one of my favorite things ever to come out of Saturday Night Live. Get your gift list freebie! Follow Kendra on Instagram @thelazygenius This podcast is hosted by Kendra Adachi and executive produced by Kendra Adachi, Jenna Fischer and Angela Kinsey. To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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But Laura shopped on Amazon and saved on cleaning spray, countertop wipes, and fly traps. Hey, fruit flies, your baby boom ends here. Save the everyday with Amazon. Hey, lazy geniuses. This is Kendra Adachi, and you are listening to the Lazy Genius podcast. Here I am going to help you be a genius about the things that matter and lazy about the things that don't. Today's episode, The Lazy Genius buys a gift. Here's the pitch. Whether or not you like giving gifts or have the money to spend on them,

buying and giving gifts can be such a source of joy for you as well as for the person getting it rather than stress. So today in the playbook, we are going to talk about three things. First, we're going to talk about the myths of the perfect gift. Then we're going to hit three tips to know what people want without asking and then three ways to remember to buy a gift before it's too late. First, let's talk about the myth. of the perfect gift because the perfect gift does not exist people here's the thing if you think about gifts that were memorable for you usually they are marking time it's a new it's a new bike it's your first car it's your first kitchen aid mixer it's your first Barbie doll it's things that

are your first things that mark kind of movements through your life right marking time doesn't really work as much as we get older. And so we put these emotional expectations on ourselves to give kind of bike-level gifts to people for every occasion until we die. And that is so much pressure that we need to release from ourselves, okay? Trying to create and give the perfect gift to each person each time is trying to be a genius about the wrong thing because you're not going to do it. there is no way that you're going to give the perfect gift every single time the gift that that person

says this is the best gift I've ever received that's not a thing and you're going to keep even if they say that one time the miracle that they might say that one time then that means the next time you're going to have to do better or at least that's what we tell ourselves so the first step in being a lazy genius and buying a gift is to release ourselves from the tension and the expectation in this terrible myth of the perfect gift. It doesn't exist, so just have fun. The sooner you let it go, the more fun you're going to have. Okay, so let's move on to three tips for knowing what a person wants without having to ask.

There are three things to pay attention to. Number one, pay attention to what makes them happy. Now, this might seem kind of simple, but let's say that you are hanging out with a coworker. and she gets an email that the luminaires are going to be in y'all's town coming for a concert. And she freaks out, like freaks out. And you think to yourself, man, I had no idea. She loved the lumineers so much. Now, you might, let's pretend that this is a coworker.

This is a relationship that you might get her a gift. Or maybe you draw her for like the white elephant or like a Christmas gift exchange or something. And you think, oh, what does she like? You can remember, oh, man, the luminaires made her so happy when she, You got that email all that time. Now, you're probably not going to go crazy and get her tickets to see the Luminaires in concert, but you might get her a CD or you could find out if she has an actual record player and get her it on vinyl. Or maybe you Google or you don't Google on Etsy, but like you search on Etsy the Luminaires.

And maybe there's like a cute tote bag with the Luminers lyric or something. You know that the Luminers make her extremely happy. So pay attention to that. that to inform your gift. That can be things like favorite restaurants or favorite foods. You could find out what all of your people's favorite cookie is. That could be their favorite TV show or movies or their favorite season of the year. There are so many different things that can make people really, really happy. And you will see them if you pay attention. Okay, so that's number one. Pay attention to what makes them happy. Number two, pay attention to rainy day

dreams. All right. So we've all done this. We're having a conversation with someone and you might hear your best friend say across the table at the coffee shop. You know, I really would love to get back into painting. I just can't do it right now because of X, Y, and Z because I have too many children or because my job doesn't let me have free time or whatever it is. There could be a number of reasons. But you hear that desire to do something. when time allows. Now, most of us are not super honest with ourselves about being able to actually give time to the things that we love. We're always pushing those things aside because we think that they're not very important or they don't matter. And so by paying attention to someone that you love,

to someone to their rainy daydream, what that does is that validates that desire in them. You are validating a desire in them by giving them something that reference. is that rainy daydream. So for that friend, you could give her a sketchbook or a set of watercolors or a book on how to get started. If it's someone who's like, I wish I would love to know how to paint, but I just don't have the time to learn. Pay attention to when you hear people that you care about say those things. Man, I wish that. Man, if I just had more time, pay attention to those things. So that's number two. Number three, pay attention to how they live. Okay, so My sister, one of my sisters is kind of a homesteader.

Like that, they've got chickens and a huge garden and just really love to kind of be as self-sustaining as they can. And so this past Christmas, my mom killed it. Well, my parents gave the gifts, but you know how it goes. Usually the dude and the family does not buy the gifts. Let's be real. But my mom killed it because she gave my sister all of these really cool, like homesteady, garden type things, items that would enhance how my sister lives. So it was like a cool way of storing eggs and this really neat collapsible giant colander that you can use to rinse off vegetables

before you bring them inside. It was just really, really neat because that is already how they live. So the gift was informed by that, but also extremely thoughtful. So you might have family members or friends who are, they might be minimalist. They might be trying to get rid of so much clutter. And so you don't want to give them a lot of things that they have to find a place for or something that doesn't really have a purpose. So you might have a friend or a family member who is, yeah, like into gardening and kind of living off the land or cooks constantly, just loves for everything to be homemade.

They always have music going. They're always reading. Their family likes to go to sporting events. Sports are a huge part of their family. just looking at how people live and what is important can really inform what gifts you buy them when the time comes. So those are the three ways to know what someone wants without asking. Pay attention to what makes them happy. Pay attention to their rainy day dreams and pay attention to how they live.

All right. Now let's talk about the three ways to remember what to get them before it's too late. Now, you've done all this paying attention, right? Well, tell me if you've ever been like in the shower. hour, lying in bed, and you had this great idea for anything, really, but let's be specific for a gift. And you're like, oh, that would be so perfect for my father-in-law. But it's July and Christmas is the first six months.

And you think the idea is so amazing that there's no way you'll ever forget. Yeah, you forgot like two days later. So it is really important. The most important thing, the very first tip, is that you have to record your paying attentions, right? Whenever you notice something, you have to record it because people wait, forget everything. So you have to record it. So let's talk about how you can do that so that you can gather a stockpile of ideas. So when it's time to get a gift, you're ready, man. You can just like open up that list, open up that app, pull out that piece of paper,

and you're like, I have so many choices. So here's how we're going to have a stockpile of ideas, write it down right away and these are the different ways like you could just write it on a piece of paper I mean if that's if that's your deal if you're just out and you've got a pen write it on the back of a receipt and then maybe have like a little folder you know those little coupon um accordion folders you know you could have one like a little name tab for each person in your family and when you have an idea write it on a piece of paper and then eventually when you clean out your purse every four months like me you can stick those pieces of paper into the accordion file. Maybe you have a bullet journal. You can have a page in your bullet journal for things that you notice with friends and family to get them a gift.

You can use the app notes on your iPhone or the equivalent in Android or other phones. Are there other phones? I guess there's so many other phones by now. I don't know. I just have an iPhone. But you can use some sort of note-taking app so that when the idea comes, when that co-worker freaks out about the lumineers when your husband says something about how much he really, really loves grilling and that that is the thing that makes him so excited in the summertime, you know, pay attention to those things and jot them down in your notes app. You can do a voice recording app so you can actually record your own voice and just keep those recordings and you can label them for the person. And so when you need to get a gift for that person, you have a stockpile of your

own voice telling you what to get. It's a little bit. It's a little bit of you. It's a little bit of magical. So the first way, the first tip, the first strategy to remembering before it's too late is to have a stockpile of ideas. And that only happens if you actually write down the ideas when you have them. Number two, allow yourself margin to search for those gifts. It's really hard to take those ideas and try to make them happen when the person's birthday is in two days. So if you have any sort of calendar, however you approach your calendar, whether it's at the beginning of every month, whether it's every week, have something, some sort of alert, some sort of space in your written or virtual calendar where you are given yourself plenty of margin to consider what to get

and to actually get it. So you might could say something like a month before the person's birthday. Let's say you are at somebody's birthday is in in April. And so in March, when you're looking through your month for March, flip ahead to who's coming up in April, which birthdays or which occasions are coming up in April. And then add that to, say, in your bullet journal, add that to your task list for March and say, I need to come up with an idea for Sally's graduation and Joey's birthday and all the things. So think, think ahead and give yourself just a little bit of margin. If you don't do that kind of naturally and intuitively what you can do is if you you probably have people's birthdays plugged in somewhere unless you just rely on Facebook which is fine but you could even

just go through Facebook of your people but if you have this birthdays plugged into say your calendar app on your phone you can set an alert to alert you that that thing is coming that that event is coming and make it as early as you can to alert yourself like oh, my mom's birthday's in a week. It's helpful if you know that you have time to do it. Okay. So give yourself margin however that works with however you keep up with your calendar and what's going on, but give yourself enough margin to do the search. RBC Training Ground has discovered potential in over 20,000 Canadian athletes and counting. Your story could be next. If you've got the drive, they'll help you find your path to the Olympics. Let's see what you've got.

Sign up for free at rbc trainingground.com. Aw isn't something we need to travel for. It's something waiting for us in everyday life, whether in a city street or a moment with a work of art. I'm Dr. Keltner, host of the Science of Happiness podcast. Join me for Cities of Aw, a special series on how our public spaces can spark awe, wonder, and enhance the quality of public life. You can find us wherever you listen to your podcasts. Okay, and number three is don't search blindly. The thing that is so great about having a stockpile of ideas specific to each individual person

is it keeps you from going to Target or home goods or any store that is full of like really reasonably beautiful things. But you could choose any of them and they'd be fine. You know, like you could choose that cute wire basket or that pretty vase or that pretty bowl and they're lovely things. lovely things. But as we are intentional, here's how we can be a genius about gift giving, how we can give really like thoughtful gifts, not the perfect gift, but we can give gifts that make people feel loved and known simply by thinking ahead just a little bit and noticing those three things,

paying attention to those three things and keeping track of them before. So then when it's time to actually get the gift, it's like, oh, I can be super lazy and just check what I've already written down and get the thing like it's done. So don't search blindly. I think that when we have too many options, it just makes this crazy. Have you ever, okay, so I have a little baby, right? When we put her down on the floor to play, if I dump out her whole container of toys, which I have been known to do, she just sort of stares at it like, um, and I think to myself, the reason I'm doing that is so that she doesn't run out of options before she needs me to hold her again. and I need to make dinner people, so come on, Annie.

But instead, what always happens when I just put one toy in front of her is she's so entertained by it for a really long time because she doesn't really have to make a choice. Now, part of it is she has a baby brain and I think there's something about baby's brains and like overstimulation. That's probably pretty important. But the same is true of us when we shop. Okay. Too many choices can be really overwhelming. And then we just kind of end up settling for something that's like, oh, I think she'd probably like that. I think he'd probably like that.

And there's something wrong with getting a gift that someone would probably like. That's great. But you can give something that you know they're going to like because you are speaking into something that you've already noticed about who they are. So don't search blindly. This is why we go back again to how important it is to have a stockpile and to write down those things when you pay attention to them. Okay.

So now, let's talk about really fast what to do if it's too late. Like what if the person's birthday or the occasion has passed, or it's that day and you didn't know and you feel terrible or you really, maybe you don't feel terrible, but you really want to mark it with the person, even if you don't like want to give something elaborate. Let's just run down a couple of things that you can do that are really important to people, that people really value way more than that candle or that bowl. You can write them a note, like a really heartfelt, I don't mean like savvy. You don't have to be sappy unless you want it to be savvy.

But like an actual, this is why you're important to me. Note. You can show up with a cupcake at their door. Go to a bakery, get a really pretty cupcake and just show up and give it to them. Or with a cup of coffee. Or you can, people love snail mail, y'all. Like if you miss an occasion and you feel really badly about it, nope, nope. You know what?

We're not going to feel badly about that. That's such an awesome. automatic way of saying things. I missed it and I feel really bad. Don't waste time on feeling bad. Just send them a package in the mail. Just wrap up a few of their favorite things or just things that everybody really likes like chocolate and beer or whatever and put it in a box and mail it to them. Even if they live in your city, even if they live next door. You can do things after the fact and snail mail is always a winner when it comes to packages. So it's okay if it's too late. There are still things that you can do even if you don't have a gift to show that person

that you care about them. Okay. So there is no perfect gift. Pay attention to your person to find out what makes them tick, what they love, what they're dreaming about. Write down those things. Let that inspire your gifts, your gift ideas, and then allow yourself margin to search and don't search blindly. And I promise you, here's our payoff, guys. I promise you, that you are going to enjoy the entire process of giving gifts to your people. Choosing to take a little time to let someone feel loved unknown is always worth it. It's always worth the time. And even if the gifts aren't practical or expensive or anything, whatever adjective you think

matters most, it really can mean the world to that person for feeling loved and known. An example of this is, okay, so one of my other sisters, you guys, know the sister possibly, Hannah from, we have a podcast together, the Lazy Sisters podcast. And Hannah is obsessed with Jane Eyre. Like super obsessed with Jane Eyre. So I found this website that I was just kind of scrolling through. And it is a company that puts words from books, like passages from books and screenprints them onto T-shirts and tote bags. And it looks like little stripes. Like they're that tiny. Well, they had a Jane Eyre t-shirt. And I was like, purchase, put in cart now. And, you know,

it was like, I don't even know if she's going to wear this, but having it in her drawer, and because it's Jane Eyre written on her shirt, are you kidding me? It's such a no-brainer for me, because I know that that is something that makes her extremely happy. Jane Eyre makes her extremely happy. And so I got her the shirt. She wears it sometimes, but even if she didn't, it doesn't matter. Even if she wears it to bed, turned it in pajamas, it still matters because that made her feel loved and known. And that is the goal. That's the goal. Not expensive, not grand, not perfection. The goal is for the person to feel loved and known. And that is how you buy gifts like a lazy genius. All right. Now before we go, let's do, let me remind you of the show notes,

right? Because I actually have, there are two things I want to tell you about. First, in the show notes, there is our link to a Pinterest board of actually some really cool gifts that are just everybody would probably really like that kind of tap into lots of different sensibilities. So you can go to Pinterest.com slash the lazy genius. That link will be in the show notes for this episode. Also in the show notes of this episode will be a few of my favorite resources of place to get gifts. And this week I have a little free printable for you, a little freebie for you. If you would just like kind of a sheet of paper that is pretty and kind of organized in such a way to help

you jot down those things that you're paying attention to, go to the show notes. You can find all of those things at the lazy genius.com slash lazy slash gifts. And I will email you this print out and you can print it out. You probably don't want to put it on your refrigerator since the people that you might be buying gifts for would see it. But you can put it somewhere secret and you can, that will be kind of your hub for things. If you don't already have a hub, you can get a pretty hub to track of all of your gift ideas. And here's the thing that is so great about that. Someone's rainy day dreams, someone's happiness sources, those aren't going to change from year to year. You know, this sheet would be these things that you're gathering are going to be useful for years

and years. So don't shy away from this. It's not like you have to do this constantly. Like once you start paying attention and you have a few things in your back pocket for these people who are important to you, you're going to have inspiration. for gift inspiration for a really long time. So if you would like that printable, you can go to the website, the lazygeeniouscollective.com slash lazy slash gifts. And you can get all the information from this episode. Okay.

Before we go, we need to talk about the lazy genius tip of the week. This one comes from my friend Barry. She is on Instagram at Barrier photographer. Photography? I can't say photography. Why is that such a hard word to say? She's a photographer. Get out.

But she told me about this idea of how to keep plants alive in your house. Because we all really want beautiful green things in our home. But if some of you are like me, it doesn't work very well. You don't know how to take care of them. There's just too much to remember and everything ends up dying. So here is Barry's tip. Oh, so good. When you are buying plants for your house, whether you're at the farmer's market or the nursery or lows or whatever, ask the person

helping you or find someone to help you and ask them, can you show me some plants that all have the same type of care or the same watering frequency? Okay. So you're going to buy a handful of plants that all need to be watered every once a week, once every two weeks, once a month, whatever it is. I don't know how long, how often you're supposed to water plants. I could be super wrong in those. You guys are like, Kendra, a month? That's why your plants are dead. But, you know, This is not my strength, but that's okay. But it could be my strength if I follow this tip. So you get plants that all have the same watering frequency.

And then you set some sort of alarm on your phone. That's the way to do it. Set up like a, if it's weekly, you can use your actual alarm. You know, set it for every Monday at 12 o'clock or whatever it is. If it's more often than that, you can do it through your like a calendar app and have an alert that goes off every two weeks or whatever it is. This does water plants. and then you just water all your plants.

And then you're done watering all your plants. I mean, that is magical. That is so genius and super lazy because you're doing it one time. So I just love that. So that is, my voice got really high, but I'm really excited about it. Okay, so that's our lazy genius of the week.

Barry, thank you so much for giving us ideas of how to keep plants in our house without them dying. Okay, guys, thank you so much for listening to this episode. You can contact me for anything any ideas, anything you want me to talk about on the show. If you have questions about this episode or any others, you can email me at Kendra at the lazy genius collective.com. I'm on Twitter at lazy, lazy genius,

and I'm mostly on Instagram at the lazy genius. And remember, don't forget to go to the show notes, the lazygegeonyscollective.com slash lazy slash gifts to get your printable, to get to the Pinterest board for this episode, and all the other good things. Okay, guys. Don't forget. Please be a genius about the things that matter and lazy about the things that don't.

I'll see you next time. Have you ever felt like you were living just a B or B plus life? It's so dangerous to live that. More dangerous than a B minus or a C plus life because when you're living a B or B plus life, you don't change it. You think it's good enough. Is it? I'm Susie Welch. I host a podcast called Becoming You. People think, okay, an A plus life is not available to me, but there is a lot. away. We are all in the process of becoming ourselves. Listen to becoming you wherever you get your podcasts.