The Lazy Genius Podcast - #128 - How to Escape the Fall Frenzy

Episode Date: October 21, 2019

Chaos and frenzy pull me under. I feel stressed out, I get headaches, I get mad, my body physically hurts, and I don’t enjoy what’s happening right in front of me. That’s no fun at any point in the year or my life, but it’s a particular bummer around this time of year. None of us want to feel frenzied, but sometimes even with intentional plans, it happens anyway. Today, let’s talk about one small way to keep that frenzy at bay. If you haven’t joined me over Instagram, you can find me @thelazygenius. I’m there live on most Thursdays around noon EST, but I won’t be there this week. If you think you’ve missed out on The Holiday Docket, don’t worry. It’s still available here. To get a jump start on your fall routine, there’s an episode for that -- The Lazy Genius Plan for Fall Routine. Something I believe strongly in is using opening and closing ceremonies during hectic seasons of life (just like the Olympics). Here’s how to Plan Your Opening Ceremony. Take dinner off your stressor list by taking some ideas from my fall dinner queue. Download a transcript of this episode!   This podcast is hosted by Kendra Adachi and executive produced by Kendra Adachi, Jenna Fischer and Angela Kinsey. To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hi everybody. You're listening to the Lazy Genius Podcast. I'm Kendra Adachi and I'm here to help you be a genius about the things that matter and lazy about the things that don't. Today is episode 127, How to Escape the Fall Frenzy. It is the end of October. Halloween is next week. I realize we all know this. I don't need to say how fast time is flying, but it's super is. It feels very fast. So if October has gone by really fast for you and if you live in the West, you're really, about to get hit with the gauntlet of holiday busyness. And we have talked about that a good bit on the podcast and over on Instagram. If you don't follow me, I'm at the lazy genius, by the way. I'm going to put some links in the show notes of other episodes that hold hands really well with this one. I've talked about this topic in various ways a lot. But today, I want to focus in on how to escape that fall frenzy, how to keep ourselves from going from intentional choices. And a commitment to calm all the way to pulling our hair out and wishing for January. What happens in between? None of us want to feel that frenzy, but sometimes even with those intentional plans,

it kind of happens anyway. So today, let's talk about one small way to keep that frenzy at bay. So I personally am very intentional about my choices. I've learned the hard way that too much happening around me causes even more to happen within me. And I do not feel. function well under frenzy. It is my least favorite energy to occupy. Chaos and frenzy, they just pull me under. I feel really stressed out. I get headaches. I get mad. My body physically hurts. And I don't enjoy what's happening right in front of me. That's no fun at any point in the year or in my life, but it is a particular bummer around this time of year. October through early January, it is my favorite. That's true of a lot of people probably, but I always get bummed

that my favorite time of year is complicated by the most frenzied energy of the entire year too. That's where our simple step comes in. Name what matters in the season. Name what matters every single day. And name what matters about who you are. So let's start from the 10,000 feet level and talk about the season. Very briefly. maybe you have started this fall different than years past. You might have even purchased the holiday docket from me, which is the lazy genius guide to celebrating well. It is a short but mighty little PDF that walks you through intentional choices about your fall and winter holiday and all the things, like all the things that happened in that busy season. I think that broad is a really great place to

to start. I think that naming what matters and making plans to do those things, you skip other things. you can pursue a holiday calendar and rhythm that gives you life rather than drains you dry. It's incredibly important. You don't have to use the holiday docket to get there to do it. I will put a link in the show notes, of course, if you're interested, but you can just get a piece of paper and a pen and put some intention to what you want to do and what you want to skip. Naming what matters in the season is really, really important from a big picture standpoint. But even when you do that, you can still feel frenzied on. a random day or a random collection of days. Intention doesn't immediately eliminate stress or overwhelm

or whatever word resonates the most with your own energy. Here's where it's important to name what matters today. When I think about the word frenzy, it's something that escalates, right? It's not like you're calm and serene and then in the blink of an eye you're frenzied. It builds. stress and overwhelm are almost always a consequence of the little things building until you're drowning and you just can't take it anymore. That's why I encourage you to name what matters every day to help you escape the fall frenzy. I do this every morning in the few minutes before my kids get up or when I sit down on my desk to work. I name what matters for that day. Not just what I need to do, but what matters. How I want to feel, what energy I want to embrace.

what energy I want to release, what thoughts I want to leave behind or say for another day. Naming what matters for today helps the frenzy not accumulate. If we can work in a daily practice of naming what matters each and every day, we're creating a buildup of intention, not a buildup of crazy. Now, are you somehow not as great of a person if you skip days, or if you let the frenzy build or you live in it until January? zero percent. There is no morality here. There's no better than or worse than or measuring sticks. This is all for you. Just ask yourself what you want, what you need, and then ask yourself why.

If you want to keep the frenzy away because you think that that's what you should do, even though you don't mind that energy, maybe you even like the thrill of it a little bit. Don't worry about it. It should isn't a good enough reason to do something. But if you're like me and you know that frenzy makes you mad and not fun to be around and distracted from the relationships and connections and moments in front of you, you'll be more willing to take a small step toward escaping the frenzy. And I think a great small step is to name what matters today. So this morning, look at your calendar, breathe, look around at your people, pay attention, what matters today, not tomorrow, not next week, not at Christmas time, that somehow you're even

distracted by, still, even though it's two months away, what matters today? Say it out loud, write it down, share it with another person, name what matters today so that you'll be able to also notice what doesn't make the list. Aw, isn't something we need to travel for. It's something waiting for us in everyday life, whether in a city street or a moment with a work of art. I'm Dacker Keltner, host of the Science of Happiness podcast. Join me for cities of awe. A special series on how our public spaces can spark awe, wonder, and enhance the quality of public life. You can find us wherever you listen to your podcasts. You might have like a long list of things to do that have a certain level of urgency in them.

But if what matters today is that you need to rest and take a break from being productive, you can choose to save that list for tomorrow or next week. What matters today is rest. Now, does your list have anything on it that will cause your family or your work to go up in flames? If that's the case, yes, maybe do that one thing, but leave the rest until later. They don't matter today. The irony is that we're really good actually at recognizing the items on our list that will cause our lives to go up in flames, but not as good at seeing what causes us to go up in flames. We tend to all the other things that feel urgent for getting the layers of frenzy that are building in our souls. So name what matters today.

Do that for as many days as you remember and desire to name and see what happens to your energy because of it. As this fall has started and as I look ahead to what's coming, it's been the busiest of any fall I've ever experienced, at least that I can remember. There's so much going on in my work, my family, my community. It all matters and was all chosen on purpose. but it's still a lot. Despite the season being the busiest, I also feel the calmest I've ever felt around this time of year like I have more direction.

Ironically, my frenzy isn't in direct relation to how much is on my plate, almost exclusively because I've not only named what matters in our season, but I've practiced naming what matters every day. I've taken breaks. I've left things undone until another day. I've been able to notice pitfalls that keep me from being where I am and avoid those because I'm paying attention. Now, don't get me wrong, I have felt overwhelmed and stressed. I had a body shut down just last weekend where I had to go to bed at seven and sleep for 12 hours. The point

isn't perfectly eliminating all stress forever because that's impossible. But there is a lot of power and not letting daily stress accumulate as aggressively as we often let it. So if you're feeling the fall frenzy, and you might even be a little confused by it because you've chosen what matters. You've gone through the holiday docket. You've set intentions. You've been looking forward to these holidays with your people and you feel like a draw for peace more than pressure than you have before. Like you've been really excited about this holiday season. So why are you feeling that fluttering in your chest? Why is your breathing more shallow? Why are your emotions more unpredictable. Your voice is a little louder and faster. Your love of being alone has morphed into

isolation because you're suddenly overwhelmed and you don't understand why. You were coming at this with intention. What happened? Name what matters today. Name what matters today. And even deeper than that, name what matters about who you are. Even saying out loud that you matter to people because of your essence and your humanity, not because of what you accomplish, how you get it all done, what you do for people. No, name what matters about who you are as often as you remember to. And that, along with naming what matters today, will keep the frenzy from building on itself day after day and confuse you when all you want to do in the beginning of December is like hide in a closet until everyone's Christmas decorations are down. You don't want it to be that way.

and it doesn't have to be that way. You can escape fall frenzy one small daily step at a time by naming what matters. I really hope this episode encourages you to take this simple move in a meaningful direction and continue to experience the fun that is this holiday season. If you would like more info on the holiday docket, I'll definitely have a link in the show notes along with, like I said, some other episodes, even a blog post or two that can give you more tools to anchor yourself in the fall frenzy. Also, I wanted to let you know, I will not be on Instagram this week for our weekly live, but I hope that you take that

25 minutes that we usually spend together to check in on yourself and intentionally name what matters for you in that moment. I know it's cheap. I know it sounds cheesy, but I promise it works and it's really important. Thanks so much for listening to this episode and to any others you might have heard. I know that a lot of you binge the show when you discover it, which is so fun to hear. And if you are new to the podcast, 127 episodes is a lot. So if you're wondering where to start, I would actually just encourage you to read the episode titles. They're very specific. Scroll through the list, either on your podcast app or on my website at the lazy geniuscollective.com slash lazy and listen to whatever episodes feel relevant to you. Just listen to what you need.

You don't need to start from the beginning or, you know, listen to every single thing. Just listen to what you need. And the rest will happily wait for you until you need them to. That is all for today. Thanks for listening. And until next time, be a genius about the things that matter and lazy about the things that don't. I'm Kendra, and I'll see you next week.

Have you ever felt like you were living just a B or B plus life? It's so dangerous to live that. More dangerous than a B minus or a C plus life? Because when you're living a B or B plus life, you don't change it. You think it's good enough. Is it? I'm Susie Welch. I host a podcast called Becoming You. People think, okay, an A-plus life is not available to me, but there is a way. We are all in the process of becoming ourselves. Listen to Becoming You wherever you get your podcasts.