The Lazy Genius Podcast - #131 - The Perfect Thanksgiving Turkey

Episode Date: November 11, 2019

Y’all, we’re about to spend an entire episode talking about Thanksgiving turkey. Or just turkey if you periodically cook a ten pound bird when it’s not Thanksgiving. I want to talk through it a little because sometimes we need a voice telling us we’re doing okay, especially when we’re dealing with a giant dead bird and hungry, mildly judgmental family members. Stuff Mentioned I shared my absolute favorite turkey recipe a few years ago, and I still stand by it. Watch the crowd from New Girl defrost a turkey in a dryer. Do you have thoughts or opinions about cooking turkey? Share them with me over on Instagram. I’m @thelazygenius, and I’ll be LIVE on Thursday around noon EST. Download a transcript from this episode. This podcast is hosted by Kendra Adachi and executive produced by Kendra Adachi, Jenna Fischer and Angela Kinsey. To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hi everyone. You're listening to the Lazy Genius podcast. I'm Kendra Adachi and I'm here to help you be a genius about the things that matter and lazy about the things that don't. Y'all were about to spend an entire episode talking about Thanksgiving turkey or just turkey if you, you know, periodically cook a 10-pound bird when it's not Thanksgiving. I shared a recipe years ago on my absolute favorite turkey recipe and I still stand by that recipe. I could just link to it. I mean, I will link to it. but I could just link to it and say goodbye. But I want to talk through the recipe a little bit because sometimes we need a voice telling us we're doing okay, especially when we're dealing with like a giant dead bird and hungry, mildly judgmental family members. Real quick, before we get into Turkey Talk, I wanted to give you a heads up that I'm putting together a gift guide for the holidays. It only has stuff that I actually use in my house.

So because of the makeup of my family and what our interests are, it's not going to cover every age and category, but I personally rather give you tested items than guess on things that I don't like already use. In case you're like ahead of the game in gift buying, but also feel a little stuck on what to get people. You can just look for that gift guide on the lazy genius collective com before the end of November. I'm shooting for before Thanksgiving, but I make no promises. Still, I wanted you to know it was coming in case you'd like a little lazy genius gift help. Let's talk about your turkey. If you live in the U.S., you likely celebrate Thanksgiving, but I know that there are a lot of listeners from the UK and Australia and other countries that

don't celebrate Thanksgiving or Christmas or any of the traditionally turkey-driven holidays. Obviously, this episode is about cooking a big celebration turkey, and you can use any occasion to make it. However, because it is November and we are two weeks away from eating turkey for Thanksgiving, I'm going to likely use that holiday, is my frame of reference. as we talk, just FYI. Okay. So the first question to ask when serving turkey is how big of a bird do you need? You'll see charts and turkey math suggestions on the internet anywhere from one to one and a half pounds per person. Now remember, those suggestions count the bones and everything that comes wrapped up in plastic from the store. I remember once trying to subtract like how much the

bones might weigh to get the turkey math right. So I'm just telling you in case you get stuck on that like I have. The turkey math poundage is based on the entire bird that you buy. I think you want at least a pound per person, for sure at least. And one and a half if you would like some leftovers. Maybe you land somewhere in the middle in the one and a quarter pound per person range. Now if you have kids who don't eat as much, you could count them as a pound and adults as one and a quarter or one and a half. The recipe I'm going to share with you is based on a 10-pound turkey, which is likely a great size for about eight people. Now, what if you're feeding more than eight?

What if you're feeding 16 people? You could cook a 20-pound turkey, which is the right turkey math for one and a quarter pounds per person. And it would work fine. I will say, though, just a heads up, that smaller turkeys tend to not overcook as much just because they have a higher ratio of bone and skin to the meat underneath. they stay juicier in general. Now if you want to cook two smaller turkeys, work that out with your oven and the other foods that need to be cooked. Basically, when it comes to feeding the people,

one and a quarter pounds per person is a really great simple place to land. And then once you know the number of pounds you need, you can decide if you can make that happen with one turkey or if you'll cook too. Your call, either call is great. Trust your gut on that. It's all going to be fine. Next up, You get to decide the source of your turkey. Do you get a butterball, a free range turkey, an organic turkey? You get to choose based on what matters to you. Now, the quick difference in free range and organic, free-range turkeys are allowed to roam free. Their range is free. The way that they're housed and, like, taken care of or whatever, it's generally more humane than turkeys that are like literally cooped up all the time in a coop. organic turkeys aren't necessarily free range.

Sometimes they are, but the certification for organic is different, and it usually means the turkeys were fed organic food. They're not injected with any sort of like hormones or antibiotics, that kind of thing. It's regulated. But for instance, if you have a local farmer who sells turkeys, that turkey could technically be an organic turkey and how it was fed and raised, and could likely be free ranges. as well, but the farmer might not have gone through the certification process to be able to claim that name. So anyway, so with the different kinds, it's not necessarily complicated. It's just things to

consider. So if the treatment of the turkey is important to you, be prepared to pay significantly more for your turkey. I'm talking significantly more. A store bought like butterball turkey could be anywhere from a dollar to $3 a pound. So a 10 pound turkey would cost $10 to $30. An organic turkey probably costs closer to $5 to $8 a pound, which makes a 10-pound turkey cost $50 to $80. So 10 to 30 versus 50 to 80. So it's significant. And that's just enough turkey to feed eight people. You know, if you're feeding more than that, that's a lot. Now, for some of you, it's absolutely worth it. A lot of folks think that organic, free-range turkeys taste better. and I do agree that there is a great depth of flavor in the meat for sure.

Store bought turkeys are generally fattier because the muscles of the actual turkeys weren't used as often, which is sad to think about, but it also might not be as much of a priority for you or something that you just can't fit into your budget. So I think storebought turkeys tend to naturally be a bit juicier just because they have more fat to help that along, but they might not have as deep of an actual flavor. The point is, you can't really go. wrong, just choose what matters to you and pick the right turkey for that. Okay, so you have chosen the size of the bird, what kind you're going to get. Now let's talk about when to buy it.

Now, most people buy a frozen turkey. Don't assume that that turkey will thaw in the fridge overnight like a pack of chicken would because it will not. Remember the episode of New Girl where she cooks a turkey for the guys and she buys a frozen bird on Thanksgiving? They end up putting it in the dryer to get it thaw, right? It's just not the best look. Here is your defrosting math. Every pound of turkey needs eight hours in the fridge. One pound, eight hours. Now, that's not like a sciencey thing, you know, but if you have a 10 pound turkey, it'll likely take around 80 hours or about three days to fully thaw in the fridge. A 20 pound turkey, double that. You're looking at six days for sure. And that's just not something that we really think is real. You know,

like a turkey is going to take a week to thaw. It's really weird. And you definitely, but here's the thing, you definitely want to thaw the turkey in the fridge and not on the counter because it's just too big of a bird. The outside will be exposed to like a warmer temperature in your house. It could easily breed bacteria while the inside is still solid as ice. Like it's actual ice. So thaw the turkey in the fridge for about eight hours per pound of bird. And for my perfect Thanksgiving turkey, recipe, which we're about to go through, you'll need a thawed bird the day before you want to eat your turkey. So if you need to eat a 10-pound bird on a Thursday, on Thanksgiving, it'll need to be thawed on Wednesday, which means it will need to be put in the fridge to thaw on Sunday. Just back it up.

Now, if you buy a fresh turkey, this conversation doesn't matter. But most turkeys are sold frozen. So there you go. Ah, isn't something we need to travel for. It's something waiting for us in everyday life, whether in a city street or a moment with a work of art. I'm Dr. Keltner, host of the Science of Happiness podcast. Join me for Cities of Aw, a special series on how our public spaces can spark awe, wonder, and enhance the quality of public life. You can find us wherever you listen to your podcasts. All right, so here's my tip on thaw on your bird. leave the turkey in the wrapping during the thawing.

It just kind of keeps it cleaner, whatever. And then line a sheet pan that's big enough to hold your turkey. Line it with foil to catch any, you know, potential leaks, gross things. And then put that turkey on the pan. Put it on the pan with the breast side up, which is how it looks when it's like pretty on a platter and ready to be carved, you know. So the turkey and the wrapping on a lined sheet pan. Keep that in the fridge.

And you will not have a messy bird. catastrophe on your hands. So that's how you thawed for however many days. It needs to be in the fridge. Okay. Next up, you have the right size thawed bird. Now we get to the good stuff. It is time to make the turkey taste amazing with very little effort, truly. So we hear a lot about like brining and all kinds of things to keep the turkey moist and tasty. But like finding a tub big enough to fit in a giant turkey submerged in salt water, it feels very intimidating. at least to me. And then like, what do you do with all the salty turkey water after? I don't know. It's just, it's just a lot. So, but here's the thing. The concept of brining is important.

The whole goal of brining is not really the water, but the salt and the seasonings in the water. You're trying to get salt into the flesh of the turkey as deeply and as much as possible. all. The salt, it does make the turkey taste good, 100%. But it also breaks down the muscle tissue and it tenderizes it. That's what salt does. The same is true of chicken. If you can salt your chicken a day ahead, even if it's just like for stir fry or something, do it. The difference is something else. So we are going to get salt into the meat of the bird a solid 12 to 24 hours before it's cooked, just like with a brine. How are we going to do that? We are not going to do that with water. We're going to do it with butter. Yes, ma'am. By the way, in case you miss my saying this before,

this recipe is on my site, and I will put a link in the show notes, so you don't need to, write down amounts or anything. But just listen as we talk about, like, how easy this process is, so you're not intimidated once it's time to make your turkey. Okay. So we need, we need flavor and moisture. The two ways we're going to get that are from a highly seasoned butter that goes on the outside of the turkey and then some like moisture rich foods on the inside first the butter okay so the basic idea is we're going to take like the softest most room temperature butter imaginable and we are going to season it with salt pepper and herbs okay we're going to mix it all together then we're going to rub that seasoned butter all over the turkey now it's not actually going to go on top of the turkey

which would be definitely the easy thing but it's going to go under the skin under the skin that is where the magic happens. That is the hardest part of this whole turkey business is like separating the skin. Really, you just have to run your hand, like up under the skin and the meat. And it separates very easily. But that's the only part that feels like a little trickier than just rubbing it on the outside. But I promise you, that is where the magic happens. The seasoning in the butter, along with the butter itself, start to penetrate the meat without having to go through the skin first. That's why you want it under the skin. The salt breaks down the meat, makes it more tender. The salt and the herbs make the meat taste really great. The butter itself adds flavor, moisture, and it will be a big part of getting

a golden brown turkey at the end of it all. It is a winning situation, and it requires no giant plastic containers of water, right? And if you have any extra butter after you'll like rub it under the skin, you've got all the crevices and stuff, you can put some on the outside. It will not hurt it. But focus on under the skin first. Okay. So the second way we're going to add flavor and moisture is to season the cavity or the inside of the turkey so that salt is coming at the meat from both sides, right? It's coming from the salty butter on the outside and then from salt actually on the

inside. And then we're going to fill the cavity with apples and onions. Both are a little sweet, which is like a nice balance to the earthy herbs that you'll put in the butter. And they're full of water. which means they will break down and keep the inside of the bird from drying out as it cooks. Now, you don't eat the apples and onions. Just throw them away when the turkey's done. Now, I know a lot of you are like super opposed to not putting actual stuffing inside your turkey.

And while I am not opposed to that either, a breaded stuffing inside your bird is likely why your bird tends to be dry or why you have to get the big bucket of salty water to counteract the, drying. Also, you know, some people get weird about like the contamination factor, how the stuffing dries up before the turkey's cooked. Do they reach the right temperature where everything gross is killed? You know, all that kind of stuff. Um, so when I host Thanksgiving, I like a bird on its own and then stuffing or, you know, dressing, as some call it in a, like in a dish in its own dish. And y'all do not sleep on Pepper's Farm. I love that stuff. Maybe more than like your intricate cornbread situations. I grew up on it. My mother-in-law still uses it. Bless her. And I'm not sure I will ever prefer another stuffing to that one, like until my dying day. But moving on. This episode is not about stuffing.

It's about turkey. Okay. So we are adding flavor and moisture by covering the meat of the turkey under the skin with a heavily seasoned butter and then putting more salt along with the apples and onions in the cavity to keep it moist from the inside. Once those things are done, which they take like just a couple of minutes. All that's left to do is cook the turkey. On the site, you'll get actual measurements, obviously of butter and herbs and all that. And I also have the steps divided up by what day to do them. Because of that, we'll just shoot through these last couple of steps and you can read it more in detail on the site. So the day before, you're going to cook the turkey, the day before. So we'll just, we'll talk about Thanksgiving. You're going to cook it on Thursday, Thanksgiving. So the day before,

on Wednesday, Wednesday morning, pull out your butter first thing so that it gets nice and soft. and then later in the day, just sometime between lunch and when you go to bed, you'll stir all the seasonings into the soft butter. On the site, in terms of herbs, I mention half rosemary and halftime. That's what I like to use. You can also use a combination of like fennel, sage, even oregano if you wanted. I love the traditional earthy flavor of rosemary and time, but whatever you choose, I would recommend choosing at least two herbs, not just one, just so you add some complexity, just makes it taste a little more special. Also regarding the herbs, real quick, I typically use dried. That's what's listed in the recipe.

Just because they're easier to find, you need less of them to get all the flavor because dried herbs are more potent than fresh. And since we're adding a lot of stuff to this butter already, adding fresh herbs, because you need more of them, it does like chunk it up a bit. Now that said, this bird will in no way be harmed by using more butter than is called for, truly. So if you just love the flavor of fresh Rosemary, as you should, and you really want to use fresh, double the measurement called for in the written recipe if you're using fresh. So like if it's like a teaspoon of dried, use at least two teaspoons of fresh and chop it really fine. I think that's important. And then just add some more butter.

You know, like it's not going to hurt it. You also probably want to add another good pinch of salt as well. Just think about the ratios of salt and butter. and then as you add your herbs, adjust your salt butter ratios. Okay, so then you will coat the meat under the skin with the seasoned butter. Fill the cavity with salt and apples and onions, you know, and then you're going to cover it with foil and put it back in the fridge overnight. The hours and hours of that salts being able to penetrate the meat is what's important.

It's like a brine without the water. So there is some info on the site about how long to cook the turkey, when to know it's done, all that. But really you're looking at about four hours for a 10-pound turkey. I like to do the first three hours covered in foil. It keeps the moisture in, keeps the skin from browning too quickly. And then I take the foil off the last hour and just let it fly. And again, the ease of cooking this on Thanksgiving itself is so easy, like because you've already covered it in foil. It's already covered in boil. You really just put it in the oven. It's like, that's how Thanksgiving should roll. Now,

in case you think this is too simple, that this turkey cannot possibly be a, you know, as good as I claim, you know, that you need like all these crazy like herb things and compotes and spices and brines and, you know, whatever. I will direct your attention to the dozen comments on the post. And I wish I had the even more dozens of emails that I've gotten over the years of people who have made this turkey. In fact, I posted this recipe on my very first food blog, like over a decade ago, which is now removed from the internet, by the way. But that's how long I've depended on this recipe is the best turkey out there. Listen to this comment from Erica. Erica says, dude, I love any comment that starts with that.

Dude, I made my first turkey this year and followed your recipe to a tea. It was amazingly simple and tasty. My brother-in-law is a phenomenal cook and he said it was perfect. I almost cried. My husband has requested I make this exact recipe every year we host and I have no plans to do otherwise. Thank you for making me look so good. That's so great. Thank you for those words, Erica.

and you guys, I mean, for real, this recipe will not let you down. It just won't. I hope that the breakdown has been helpful. I hope you see how easy this is, how not intimidating this has to be. You've got butter and salt. You can do this. I hope you try to make it this Thanksgiving or for any holiday you choose. And if you do, let me know on Instagram, right? I'm at The Lacey Genius. You can tag me. If you put it in a story, I would really want to see your turkeys. Also, thank you for letting me spend an your podcast episode on How to Make a Turkey. That is true love right there. Thank you so much for listening. Until next time, be a genius about the things that matter and lazy about the things that don't. I'm Kendra, and I'll see you next week. Have you ever felt like you were living just a B or B plus life?

It's so dangerous to live that. More dangerous than a B minus or a C plus life? Because when you're living a B or B plus life, you don't change it. You think it's good enough. Is it? I'm Susie Welch. I host a podcast called Becoming You. People think, okay, an A-plus life is not available to me, but there is a way. We are all in the process of becoming ourselves. Listen to Becoming You wherever you get your podcasts.