The Lazy Genius Podcast - #14: The Lazy Genius Survives a Class Party

Episode Date: March 20, 2017

After you listen... I've collected a few easy party options that won't make you crazy but are still super cute. tiny cookie cutters for cute touches if you have the mental bandwidth stupid easy chocolate-dipped pretzels the Saturday Night Live candle video How to Throw a Little Kid Party Without Requiring Alcohol How to Never Run Out of Food At Your Party Again An Ode to Being Super Mom You Don't Have to Make Your Little Kids' Halloween Costumes Confessions of a Guilty Mom: PTA Edition Follow Kendra on Instagram: @thelazygenius This podcast is hosted by Kendra Adachi and executive produced by Kendra Adachi, Jenna Fischer and Angela Kinsey. To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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But Laura shopped on Amazon and saved on cleaning spray, countertop wipes, and fly traps. Hey, fruit flies, your baby boom ends here. Save the Everyday with Amazon. Hey, lazy geniuses. I am Kendra Adachi and you are listening to the lazy genius podcast. Here I'm going to help you be a genius about the things that matter and lazy about the things that don't. Today's episode, The Lazy Genius Survives. a class party. And I do not need to convince you of today's pitch. Class parties are the worst

because they kind of are. They're the best for the kids. They're kind of the worst for the moms, especially if you don't have an art degree or a million dollars or a million hours. So we're going to talk about how to survive a class party and do it well and look like you care. Here's how we're going to do that. In the playbook today, we're going to talk about three things. Party expectations and how we're not going to let Pinterest eat our lunch people. Food, obviously. and then everything else decor games favors all of that stuff so let's jump in and figure out how to do this without going crazy y'all this is my fifth year of doing preschool class parties i haven't even really hit the elementary school ones yet but those preschool parties are no joke so let's figure out how we're

going to do this all right in the playbook first we're going to talk about party expectations yours the kids, the teachers, and the other parents. Okay? And here's the thing with all of them. We have assumed expectations and then actual real expectations. So you can think about for you, you kind of know what your own expectations are, right? Well, really, you would love to be that mother that you see on the, you would like to be the internet mom, the perfect internet mom, who all the food is in the shape of a butterfly. And, you know, the marshmallows like jump on their own, the little bunny marshmallows actually.

hop because she's like smart enough she has a science degree so there's edible springs made out of spun sugar you know it's like we have all these really really intense expectations that really we think are dumb but on our weekdays they don't really feel dumb they feel gross and we feel ashamed that we can't make sugar sugar springs so so let's let's kind of look at the difference in the assumed expectations and the real ones now the assumed expectations we haven't ourselves are really trying to be a genius about the wrong thing. Does it really matter if those marshmallow bunnies hop? No, it does not. At the end of the day, does it really matter to you

when you come home from that party that those kids were like, look at these wonderfully crafted bunny no one cares. No one cares. So just let that one go. We're going to start off with taking it all away. Just let all of that go. Now the real expectation that we might have is you don't want to look like an idiot. You don't want to make it hard for. for the teacher and you want the kids to have fun. You know, we're not grinches. We're not monsters. Like, we want the kids to enjoy their party, but we also don't want to spend more time

than it's humanly necessary. So, but just remember that. Like, hold onto the real expectations that you want it to be fun and you want it to feel special, but you don't need to go crazy to do it. All right? Now, the kids' expectations, we assume that maybe they want marshmallow bunnies, that they have been spending all this time on Pinterest. and they've been cataloging all these ideas that they expect to be at their party.

You guys, four-year-olds don't know how to wipe their butts. So it's not a big deal. The real expectations of the kid is they want something with sugar in it. Really, that's it. Like, as long as you give them a cookie or a cupcake, you're all set. Now, the teachers, I had my first year of being a preschool mom, I was really worked up because I thought the teacher had these grand expectations of me when it was my turn to do the party. And turns out, and so I was like apologizing because at the time I had like a little

tiny toddler Ben was, I mean like super small. So my brain was super wonky. You know, like if you've got a three year old and a one year old stop the world. Like nothing's getting done. So I just ended up apologizing to her before the party even started. I was like, I'm really sorry. I didn't bring favors. I don't have games. I don't because I was sort of later in the year. So I had seen these other moms like rock it and do really, really amazing crazy things. And basically this one year, the most amazingly creative mom who I, I think she used to be a kindergarten teacher or something. So this was her jam, right? This like gives her life. And she did the first party of the year. And the rest of us were like, woman, what is wrong with because it set up these expectations.

But again, who's going to remember those things? You know, it's really not that big of a deal. But I thought that the teacher was going to be really disappointed with me, that I didn't create all these amazing things for the students. And turns out she was like, it really doesn't matter. Like, we just, it's just nice to not have to take care of them for 30 minutes. Like, it's great. So remember, your teachers really might not be at, have these as high expectations as you think they do.

what they do expect is for you to not make it harder for them that it's not something you know everything that's like covered with glitter that they're going to have to sweep up at the end of the day or this really complicated craft that they just kind of want to sit back and eat their lunch because they never get to eat their lunch because they're always opening up cheese sticks and yogurt and so they want to eat their lunch they don't want to have to make another craft and help you because it's super complicated so um just kind of their expectation really their secret one is that they just want a little bit of time off for just those few minutes so keep it simple and your teachers are going to be super happy. And then finally, this is the expectation

that I think gets in our heads is the other parents, the other moms. Other moms, capital O, capital M make us crazy, right? Especially if you are, um, have just one kid or you're in the throes of like a bunch of little kids and you can't even see straight. It is so hard to look at other moms and not assume immediately that they are doing everything perfectly and that you are garbage. It is, I don't, it's just, it's part of the story. And so I just want to tell you, if you feel like mom garbage, you are not mom garbage. I understand the feeling. I feel it a lot. And I felt it way a lot when I had little kids. It's just part of the game because we're all trying to survive. And it's really, really hard. But I will say that every other mom is feeling that way too. I don't

care how cute their yoga pants are. I don't care how like their hair is actually clean and how their cupcakes are homemade or whatever it is. Like you are not garbage. They are not better than you. It's really going to be okay. And frankly, even the ones that are put together, I really think that the reason that they are so put together is because they're working super hard to be put together because they don't want to come across as a mom that doesn't have it all together because it's really vulnerable and scary. So this is like a service that you could do to other moms. I'm not saying like don't try and don't make it special for the kids and don't give an effort and all of that just because you're going to like show everybody that it's okay to screw up. But a little bit. Like it's okay that

it's not perfect and it gives the other mom's freedom to not be perfect at their party when they throw theirs. You know, it's like, oh, she didn't do like really elaborate favor bags that like, my wedding guests didn't get in my wedding. Cool. Maybe I don't have to do that either. Like, just let's, we're on the same team, everybody. Let's not other it. Let's not other moms this mess. We're all together. So just remember that their expectations are not as lofty and as comparative as you think they are. If we can just start to get into the habit of looking at each other as teammates, rather than competitive strangers, it's going to be so much better. Okay. So party expectations, If we can lower those puppies and just really look at the reality of them, rather than our

assumptions of them, part two and three of this playbook are going to be easy, breezy. So let's get into those. So the second part of our playbook is the food, because this is really the big part of the party, right? At my preschool, we actually provide lunch for the kids as part of the party extravaganza, which is great on days that I'm not doing the party because I don't have to pack a lunch for my kid. But when it's my turn, it's like, oh, good. Here's a tradeoff. I'm going to make lunch for 20 kids, but it's no problem because here's why. We need to remember, point one,

like embed it into your brain, tattoo it on your face. Like, remember this, not just for kid parties, but almost for like any time you're feeding people. Familiar is better than fancy. Familiar is better than fancy. Say it with me. Familiar is better than fancy. Like, I don't care how money Martha Stewart Living's you have in your house. I don't care how accomplished of a hostess your mother is. I don't care that your neighbor, like, used to work for real simple. She was like an editor, and now she lives next door to you and brings you, like, perfect food.

And you're like, seriously, woman? Like, I am just trying to make spaghetti here. Familiar is better than fancy. When you have people over for dinner, bonus here. When you have people over for dinner. When you are taking dinner to like a, you know, a friend who's sick or just had a baby or something, when you are definitely creating food for a preschool class party, especially preschool, they do not want anything fancy. They want to recognize what they're about to eat. Anybody wants to recognize what they're about to eat.

So remember, familiar is better than fancy. So things like for kids, things like pizza and hot dogs and grilled cheese and, you know, like fruit that they know what it is. Stick to the familiar and you'll be just fine. So number one, familiar is better than fancy. Number two, finger foods are your friend. One of the big things is you don't have to bring forks or spoons. Like just make everything that the kids can pick up with their hands. And make them small, right?

Make them none of these full-sized cupcakes. Let's go mini cupcakes, everybody, for the love. You can do like fruit and pizza bagels or sandwiches and cheese and crackers. and just normal things that you would already make your own kid for lunch. Do that for the kids at school because familiar is better than fancy. And anything that they can pick up with their fingers is just going to be so much easier for the whole process. Okay. Now, but you're like, I just don't want to send grilled cheese or whatever.

It's like a Christmas party or whatever. So here's what you do. Number three, make it fun with shapes and colors. If you have a St. Patrick's Day party, like I just did, green, rainbows, end of story. So we had green plates and green napkins. We ordered pizza. Funny story. If you call the pizza place and you say, hey, I want a pepperoni pizza, but this is for a kid's preschool party, can you arrange the pepperoni in the shape of a shamrock?

They're going to say no, or at least my dead. It was more like this. Training Ground has discovered potential in over 20,000 Canadian athletes and counting. Your story could be next. If you've got the drive, they'll help you find your path to the Olympics. Let's see what you've got. Sign up for free at rbc trainingground.ca. Aw, isn't something we need to travel for.

It's something waiting for us in everyday life, whether in a city street or a moment with a work of art. I'm Dacker Keltner, host of the Science of Happiness podcast. join me for Cities of Aw, a special series on how our public spaces can spark awe, wonder, and enhance the quality of public life. You can find us wherever you listen to your podcasts. Um, no. I got shot down by the pizza guy. Um, so maybe, you know, don't depend on that to be your only theme when you order pizza. Pepperoni Shamrock.

But wouldn't that have been so cute? Oh, I'm so mad that that that. guy was not on board but the kids didn't care they got to eat pizza so it was fine but we had green plates and napkins pizza and then we made um another mom and i made um fruit skewers in rainbow colors in order so every kid got on a stick a strawberry a mandarin slice a slice of banana with a peel still on um some kids started to eat the peel please instruct your children to not eat banana peel It was really awkward. Green grape, a couple blueberries, and a purple grape. And it took no time to it was simple. It really didn't cost a whole lot of money. It was like three bananas, a couple of

mandrants. It was really, it was really surprisingly easy and cute as a button, these little rainbow skewers. I mean, it looked like we cared. It was fantastic. So if you can use shapes and colors, So like get little mini cookie cutters in various shapes or just or big ones that are for holidays. And you can cut if you do sandwiches, like you can cut sandwiches into shamrocks. You can cut sandwiches into bunnies for Easter or into pumpkins for Halloween or shapes and colors are your best friends. And that keeps you from having to do a lot of assembly that you see on Pinterest like the marshmallow bunnies and having to layer, you know, make a cookie and then put like a recent. cup on top of it for like a hat and then you have to spray it with edible gold spray and like don't do anything that requires a whole lot of steps um but if you stick to colors and icons and shapes to inspire

those it's going to be so much easier for you okay um one other thing that i want to share about food before we move on is if you can try and make stuff that or buy stuff that you don't mind re-entering your home So, for example, if you're going to spend the time to make a dessert for these kids, make something that you would want to eat because you might have leftovers, right? So for example, on my website, and I will put this in the show notes, along actually with, I have a link there for some tiny cookie cutters that I really, really love that I use for my kids anyway, but I definitely love to use them for things like parties.

In the show notes today, it is the lazy genius collective.com slash lazy. It's always slash lazy. And today's episode is slash class party. So you can get a link to tiny cookie cutters. And also, I'll pop you over to the stupid, easy chocolate-dipped pretzels that I have on my site that are so adorable. Just take little pretzels, dip them in some melted chocolate, wait a minute, and then sprinkle, like, stuff on them. Sprinkles or chocolate syrup or whatever, chocolate syrup, chocolate chips. And they're so adorable.

And kids love them. And I love them. So if I make a bunch of them and it makes the kids happy, but there's still some extra, I am not complaining. So if you're going to spend the time, if you're going to invest the time in something and making something, make something that you like. Don't make something that's dumb. They're like, oh, this was such a waste of time. Just immediately don't make it a waste of time. Make it worth it.

Okay, so for food, familiar is better than fancy. Finger foods are your friend. I did not mean for these to all start with F, but what are you going to do? make it fun with shapes and colors and make sure you don't mind the leftovers. Okay, last section. Let's of the playbook. Let's get into kind of all the other stuff real quick. So the decor, which this depends on the expectations of your teacher.

You know, more than likely the class is already super decked out and whatever the holiday is. So you don't really need to do anything. But if you're thinking about like the plates and the napkins, I encourage you to do solid colors. instead of patterns for the holiday. Like, don't get plates, green plates that have shamrocks on them. Just get green plates. Because if you have leftovers, you can use green plates for something else. You can't really use shamrock plates for anything other than St. Patrick's Day.

So stick with solid colors so that you can reuse things. You know, kind of keep it classic and simple. It's going to be a little bit easier that way for you. It's also cheaper to buy solid colors than the designs generally. So that's always nice. But if you need to do something on the table, table, for example. If you want to make the table look fun, make a balloon bouquet. Blow up a few balloons that are in the appropriate colors. You can tie them to drinking straws, to kebab skewers, to anything

that's straight. Stick them in a mason jar and put them in the middle of the table. And it'd be so, so cute. And you probably have all the items in your house already. So if you want to do something that's a little bit more festive in terms of decor, you can do that. Another quick thing to do is to do party hats. why do kids love party hats so much? But if you are wearing one, if you give one to any of the other parents who are helping if the grownups are wearing silly hats, and then everybody gets a cute little hat to wear during the party, that kind of thing is really fun. It requires no extra work, very little money, and it's so much joy. It's a big bang for your buck. That's a really genius way to make things fun without doing any work. So party hats are a great way to go.

Okay, so that's decor. Keep it simple. and classy and wear hats. Games, please feel free to skip games unless that is just an expectation that you have heard the teacher say, not an assumed expectation, but one that she has, he or she has said to you that they would like to have some sort of holiday game during it. In that case, then do things that don't require any supplies or a whole lot of work. Things like Simon says, please don't play Red Rover. People always. get severely injured. It's terrible. But do Simon says, or one game that has saved many a birthday party in our house when the kids are like, oh, you didn't plan anything cool? I want to go home.

Not really, but close. Get balloons, like one or two balloons and the kids just can't let them hit the ground. And it's so cute. Why do kids love to watch a balloon float through the air? It's adorable. But that just requires a balloon and a tiniest bit of policing. Another game that you could play, is freezing dance party, play some music, and then stop the music. And when the music stops, the kids have to freeze and they're dancing. And then just keep doing that. And it's magical. There are no winners. There's no fighting. It's just dance party, but they have to freeze. And it's so, so cute. So try and come up with, or obviously, this is what Pinterest is made for, or Google games that require no work or games for kids that need no supplies or whatever it is. But

Simon says, freeze or dance party, and keep the balloon in the air, are three of my personal favorites. Okay, so the last thing that we're going to talk about in the everything else category, we've done decor in games, let's hit favors. And I'm just going to say no, can you just not do them? Like, can we just start this where we don't have our kids bring home more crap every day? It drives me nuts. And it's so granted, it's really fun for the kids.

They get their little goody bag, and they open it, and it's so precious and prized for about four seconds and then it all ends up on the floor. But if I try to put it in the garbage, then suddenly it's super important. You know how the cycle goes. So be the change you want to see in the world and don't send favors home for the class party. But if there is such a deep expectation of that or you just really want to, you would feel better about things. I understand that. You don't want to be the only mom who doesn't send favors home for the party. Do something extremely simple and usable. like don't give a bag of lame candy do like a blow pop like one lollipop or tie it to a pencil you know get like a Halloween pencil and tie a lollipop to the pencil or a bracelet kids like to

wear things do something that they can use just do the one thing that they can use you don't have to do a bag of a bunch of little things did you guys see the video it was last Christmas for Saturday Night Live and it was the candle video about giving a candle and how we all have been just regifting the same candle forever. It's hysterical. I'll put it in the show notes slash lazy slash class party. But the thing that is so great about it is there's like a little bridge in the song in this music video about how give the candle. That's all you need. Don't be tempted to pair it with lotion or cream because the idea is if you give a lot of crappy, like a lot of things together, they look crappy. But if you give one thing on purpose, it looks really purposeful.

This same is true for kid party favors. So just give a pencil with a ribbon on it. Give a bracelet, give a lollipop, and be done with it. Amen. Let the test be, if you wouldn't mind it coming back into your house, then it passes, right? Okay, so let's recap our playbook. So you need to consider party expectations. The assumed ones and the real ones stick to the real. When it comes to food, familiar is better than fancy, finger foods are your friend, make it fun with shapes and colors, and make sure it's something that you don't mind the leftovers. And then for everything else, for your decor, keep it simple, keep it classy, party hats are really great. For games, skip the games, or please choose ones that don't require any tools and will not result in injury. And for favors,

definitely, definitely skip them, but if you have to get something, get something that is useful, usable, one thing, and you wouldn't mind it coming back into your own house. Now, what is the payoff as we survive this class party? The kids had so much fun and you are not in the loony bin afterwards. What a victory. So you guys can be a lazy genius and survive a class party. Okay, so if you heard anything on here that you're like, oh, I want to get those cookie cutters, go to the show notes, the lazy genius collective.com

lazy slash class party. I'll have a few other links to some posts I've written about throwing a kid's birthday party and how to never run out of food at a party, just kind of some general party things to get your mind spinning. And then also, if you have not actually subscribed to this podcast, I would love for you to do that. If you're just listening to this one random episode, go subscribe so you don't miss any. They come out every Monday and they will until like for a long time. So if you will go to iTunes and hit subscribe so you never miss any episodes, that would be so, so great for you. And what would be great for new listeners is if you would leave a review because that's how

other people find us. The more reviews a podcast gets, the more people find it. So it's such a kind service to your fellow Lazy Genius listener to leave a review for this podcast. And I am also extremely grateful. All right, before we go, we need the Lazy Genius tip of the week. And that is Frozen Berry. which seems like cool Kendra you're going to put them in smoothies whatever there is something extremely magical about frozen berries especially if you buy them fresh and then just stick that

little clam shell in the freezer they make water so very special they are magical in yogurt um i learned this from the nestor i was at her house for a weekend a couple of years ago and she just pulled out like container of frozen blackberries and blueberries and raspberries and we were all like what is this wizardry? Like there was something about it that they weren't they didn't get mushy. Like they sort of thawed into the yogurt and like I said, you could put them in water. They just sort of make everything feel special with zero work. So freeze some berries and see what happens. Magic. Magic will happen. Okay. Well, that will do it for this episode of the Lazy Genius podcast. I'm so, so glad that you listened. It means the world to me that you spend time with me each week.

If you'd like to spend time with me more often than that, I write at the lazy geniuscollective.com. You can actually get those posts once a week in your inbox. So you can go to the lazy genius collective.com slash join to sign up for that. And I'm also on Instagram at the lazy genius. I would love to see you in both places so very much. Okay, friends, I will see you next week. And until then, be a genius about the things that matter and lazy about the things that don't. I'll see you next week.

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