The Lazy Genius Podcast - #159 - The Magic of Closing Ceremonies

Episode Date: May 25, 2020

It can feel like our closing ceremonies are shot because of how things are within the setting of a pandemic, and that’s a very real thing. I’ve said it several times in episodes about a variety of topics, but there’s a lot to grieve right now. But here’s an important thing to remember: the magic of a closing ceremony isn’t really about what you do but that you just do something. Stuff Mentioned Want a refresher on opening and closing ceremonies? Start here: Plan Your Opening Ceremony (119), The Lazy Genius Welcomes Fall (70), and The Lazy Genius Conquers Holiday Overwhelm (36). Sarah MacKenzie at Read Aloud Revival can help you incorporate a read-aloud rhythm in your family. Download a transcript of this episode. This podcast is hosted by Kendra Adachi and executive produced by Kendra Adachi, Jenna Fischer and Angela Kinsey. To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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genius about the things that matter and lazy about the things that don't. Today is episode 159, closing ceremony magic. I've talked about opening and closing ceremonies a couple of times now on the podcast and we'll definitely put some links in the show notes to those episodes if you're interested in deep diving the idea. But today we're going to talk about the magic of closing ceremonies in particular. The idea here is to simply mark the end of something with intention. This idea initially came to me a few years ago after a busy holiday season, which I suppose they all kind of are. And when I looked back over those holiday weeks, everything was amoebic and like smushed together. There was no distinction in my brain between Halloween and Thanksgiving and Christmas. It was

just one big blur of busy. So I started marking the endings and beginning. beginnings of the actual holidays, not just the bigger holiday season. When I realized how valuable that practice was for me and my family, we started having closing ceremonies for the end of school, and then the end of summer, and then things unrelated to holidays and seasons, like finishing, writing my book. So we are in a time now where we're ready to close something out. It's time, right? Closing ceremonies, they're more or less part of the vocabulary around here in lazy genius land, which is probably why I have gotten several slightly panicked requests over the last couple of weeks about how to have closing ceremonies

when what you normally do won't work because of the pandemic. Or how do you even close a school year that barely felt like a school year? I get it. It's really tricky, especially if you already have a closing ceremony for this time of year that you love but you can't do. Like for us, we go to our favorite burger place for dinner, the last day of school, but it's been closed for two months. It's not even open for takeout. So, you know, yeah, like now what do we do? What do we do when the restaurant we get food from or the park that we eat at or the movie

theater we go to or all closed? Maybe you close out the school year by going to a friend's party that, you know, probably won't happen because of gathering restrictions. Maybe you celebrate by going to your pool opening, but you're not sure if it's going to open at all. And then how weird is it to socially distance at a pool? Maybe. Ironically, the thing that you do for your closing ceremonies is to have a movie night at home because the school year is so busy and frantic.

And it's nice to finally not have anywhere to be, but home. The irony of that is kind of nasty. It can feel like our closing ceremonies are shot. because of how things are. And that's a very real thing. I've said it several times in episodes about a variety of topics, but there's a lot to grieve right now. But here's an important thing to remember. The magic of a closing ceremony isn't really about what you do, but that you just do something. It really is. You can be disappointed about not being able to do what you normally do and still have a magical closing ceremony. The magic isn't in what you. You're

you do, but that you do something. And in a lot of ways, I think of all the school years to have a closing ceremony for, it's this one. So let's, let's end the episode. We're going to get to some ideas of like what you can actually do. But before we do that, let's start with a couple of questions that can help you name what you and your family need to wrap up this school year. And then I'll hit you with some rapid fire ideas at the end. first though a very important reminder just because closing ceremony has the word ceremony in it doesn't mean it has to be elaborate you'll get that from the list of ideas but the scale of this much like what you actually do is not the important thing marking it is really what makes that magical difference in your mentality

sometimes i have opening or closing ceremonies for different life transitions in my head only i just breathe and mark the end of something and step into something else. And that still makes a difference. We're simply paying attention. And you can do that however grandly or simply you want to. Okay, a couple of questions to help you figure out what to do. First, what does everybody need? What does everybody need in this transition from weird online school year at home to summer still at home? only you can know the answer because of how different we all are. Is it about noticing and naming some beautiful parts of how you've been living? Is it about celebrating that you got through this really, really hard thing?

Is it about kicking this school year out the door on its butt? It could be a bit of all of it, really. You're a closing ceremony. It might need to almost be like a wake for all the things that you've lost these last few months. Maybe you or your kid didn't get to actually graduate in the traditional way. Maybe your daughter didn't get to go to her first high school dance that she was really excited about. I know that the last year of elementary school can be a really big deal because as a kid, you're leaving a place you've been for, you know, six years or something. And now it's just over.

And then you or, you know, more likely your kid is like you're just going to start middle school. and you're freaking out about that? It's just, how do we do this? We can spin out really fast, you know, if we start thinking about it and spiral. We don't want to spiral. The point of these ceremonies is to ease the transition from one thing to the next, not spin out and spiral in the what ifs and the grief. And maybe, and this is the second question, the transition isn't from one thing to another thing. Often we move in our transitions from like school to summer, right, from thing to thing, from experience to the next experience, from life stage to life stage. But since our experiences are likely going to be kind of similar right now, just without online

school, praise the actual Lord, ask yourself what mindset you want to transition out of. and maybe even what mindset you're transitioning into. Aw isn't something we need to travel for. It's something waiting for us in everyday life, whether in a city street or a moment with a work of art. I'm Dr. Keltner, host of the Science of Happiness podcast. Join me for Cities of Aw, a special series on how our public spaces can spark awe, wonder,

and enhance the quality of public life. You can find us wherever you listen to your podcasts. you could have closing ceremonies for the daily stress of trying to get it all done. Now that school is over, that's for the birds. Summer mom is not a stress mom. I mean, ideally, anyway. The point is this is a chance to name what's been good and say thank you. To name what's been hard and say goodbye.

To name the feeling that we're ready to be free of because of these strange circumstances and welcome in something new. So the questions are simple, but the answers are vast. What do you or your family need from this closing ceremony and what mindset are you needing to transition out of? Marking moments with closing ceremonies is just about paying attention to the moment, to your people, and acknowledging whatever you're experiencing together in a tangible way. Even if your tangible ways from the past won't work, you can still pay attention to the moment and acknowledge the experience, whatever that is for you.

So here's some ideas of closing ceremonies. Obviously, different locations have different rules. Different people have different comfort levels of social interaction and leaving home. None of these are endorsements. None of these ideas are just ideas to spark your own thinking and what to do for you and your people. I'll just run through these without much elaboration. Again, sparks, just sparks.

ceremonially uninstall Zoom. Now sure, you might need to use it over the summer for keeping in touch with people, but you can reinstall summer Zoom. Ceremonially uninstall Zoom. Bake treats for friends and deliver them. Clear off the area of the house that was used for school and declare it a fun zone. Like have a meal on the table. Put together a puzzle there.

Dance on the surface like a victor claiming your spoils. You have this space back and it is not for school. Get one of those giant Lego sets and put it together as a family. Have a backyard socially distant movie night with your friends. The internet is full of really great projection ideas. Make a list or just talk about everyone's favorite thing from this weird time. Something you learned, something that surprised you. That kind of thing.

Any kind of reflection, really. do a movie marathon but on purpose okay so you could spend the day after school is over where everyone watches their movie of choice like in a row not everybody has to watch every movie but it's kind of like a marathon to celebrate no more school another take on the marathon is to do a closing ceremony for the whole week and binge a longer story like lord of the rings or star wars or harry potter or something another way to to make the whole week a closing ceremony is, and that can actually kind of, this can actually morph into summer opening ceremonies if you want to get technical, is to let every single person

in the house, if you live with other people, each get like a celebration day. Okay. They pick what to eat. They choose a movie to watch or game to play or person to try and go see from a distance. The point is everybody gets a day and the whole group is game for that person's day. for you personally if you're a mom coming off of being an accidental homeschool parent do a yard sit with other school moms you know bring your chairs bring a margarita and cheers in the air to a job well done move around a kid's bedroom furniture kind of like a summer room if there's a desk in there move it to a very different space and let the kid have some some space away from at-home desks start a family read aloud book. Sarah McKenzie at Read Aloud Revival should be your guru for that,

for sure. And finally, create a little time capsule. Buried in the yard if you want, or better yet, like tuck it into a place where things go to die in your house where it won't be discovered for years and years, like an attic or a garage or something. And that way it will go with you when you move, even if you forget about it. Whereas if you bury something in the yard, you might forget about it. And those are my sparks for you to come up with your own idea for a closing ceremony for this crazy town kind of life. And for those of you who have finished school already or are just really super close like we are here in North Carolina, a big fat high five because we did it. You did it. This junk is hard. It's rewarding and awful and sweet and interesting and stupid and all the things.

and you did it. You made it. So good job if that was your reality. If you're a teacher, thank you from the bottom of our very tired, very, very grateful hearts. Your job is ridiculously hard and we're so, so thankful for you and air-chairsing that margarita in your honor. And if you don't have kids or you aren't a teacher, but you still feel like you're transitioning into a newer time, which is true for a lot of us throughout the United States because of how things are lifting right around now, you should have a closing ceremony too. Close out whatever you want, whether or not school is in the picture. We all get to celebrate. We all need to mark this time. So do what makes sense for you, for your life, your needs, your people, your state, your health, your convictions,

your desperation, your dreams, it all counts. And that is it for today. I hope you. I hope you you enjoy some magical closing ceremonies in these next days and weeks. Thank you so much for listening. Don't forget to check the show notes for links to anything I mentioned in this episode, including a link to pre-order All Things Reconsidered by Knox McCoy. Seriously, y'all, it is such a great book. This isn't the ad talking. This is Kendra talking. Go buy his book. And until next time, be a genius about the things that matter and lazy about the things that don't. I'm Kendra, and I'll see you next week. just a B or B plus life, it's so dangerous to live that.

More dangerous than a B minus or a C plus life, because when you're living a B or B plus life, you don't change it. You think it's good enough. Is it? I'm Susie Welch. I host a podcast called Becoming You. People think, okay, an A plus life is not available to me, but there is a way. We are all in the process of becoming ourselves.

Listen to Becoming You wherever you get your podcasts.