The Lazy Genius Podcast - #163 - The Magic of Daily Sheets

Episode Date: June 22, 2020

Summer is a season of relaxation, of later bedtimes and loungy days, but we’ve also kind of already been in a weird season of pseudo-relaxation and later bedtimes and loungy days because of COVID-19. It’s safe to say that easing into summer rhythms is a little complicated right now. Helpful Companion Links I first mentioned Daily Sheets in How to Lazy Genius Kid Chores (episode 117) and I misspoke in the episode by calling it The Lazy Genius Plans a Day. It’s really The Lazy Genius Weekly Plan. Preorder your copy of The Lazy Genius Way out August 11, 2020 (and get fun preorder bonuses!). Download a transcript of this episode. This podcast is hosted by Kendra Adachi and executive produced by Kendra Adachi, Jenna Fischer and Angela Kinsey. To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Swarming your fruit and terrorizing your kitchen, these little freaks multiply at a rate that would make a rabbit say, yo, chill. But Laura shopped on Amazon and saved on cleaning spray, countertop wipes, and fly traps. Hey, Fruit Flies, your baby boom ends here. Save the Everyday with Amazon. on. Hey there, you're listening to the lazy genius podcast. I'm Kendra Adachi, and I'm here to help you be a genius about the things that matter and lazy about the things that don't. This is episode 163. When to relax the rules. Summer is a season of relaxation of later bedtimes and loungy days. But we've also like kind of already been in a weird season of pseudo relaxation and later bedtimes and loungy days because of COVID-19. So it's safe to say that I think easing into summer rhythms, it feels a little, a little complicated right now. If you're like me, the general rhythm of summer is to start strong with the chill factor, right?

We're hanging out. We're not having much of a schedule. We're just enjoying being off of school. And then about two weeks in, that gets old. The kids are missing friends. People are starting to whine a little. I'm starting to panic that I didn't start a summer reading sticker chart early enough for it to count. And like, I guess we should probably do like chores and stuff. Around this time, you will find me at the kitchen table with three giant pieces of poster board, like one for each kid, a handful of those massive sharpies that you make yard sale signs with and like elaborate plans. Do I need to tell you what happens not even a week later when I can't even find the poster board?

No, I do not. the thing about that cycle is that we've already kind of gone through it. We've already been chill and then freaked out and then given up. It was called online school. Now it's the middle of June. Things are like kind of opening up, but there's still not a vaccine for COVID-19 and still a lot of closed places, still a lot of anxiety around what the best choices are when it comes to being out in the world with our families. Also, we won't even get into the idea that we don't know what what school will look like when it comes back, if it comes back. That's a whole other cluster we're trying to ignore. Okay, so you already know this. But in more ways than one, this summer is going to be a

weird one. And when things are weird or stressful or unknown, we either get really rigid with lots of plans and contingencies and charts or we give up completely and whatever happens happens. but then a lot of craziness happens and we don't quite know how to get back to a happy medium. So today, let's talk for a second about what that happy medium can look like, specifically how to create a loose structure or rhythm that can serve you in your family well, but also when to relax those rules or that rhythm. It's in the relaxing that we can find some normalcy. It's not in the burning the sticker chart and a fire that you let your toddler light on her own.

There is a gray space that we don't allow ourselves to embrace super well. So that's what we're going to do together today. So first, let's talk about one approach to summer structure that you can adjust to fit your life, whether it's just you or you and young kids or two working parents and bigger kids or whatever the case may be. And that approach is called Daily Sheets. Now, I've talked before about daily sheets, mostly, well, I actually think like completely in the context of kids. But the concept can easily work for adults too. So here is the basic idea that is new

to no one at all. You choose three things that you're going to do that day, that each person is going to do that day. And then that's it. Now, here's the thing about that list. The three things don't have to be three things. It can be one or two things. They don't have to. They don't have to be productive things. They don't have to be rational things. They don't have to be the same things day after day. The idea here is that you are naming what matters, naming what is important or necessary for you or for whoever else one day at a time. Can you still use a planner or a notepad or Google calendar for yourself to keep track of your stuff? Yes, of course. Can you still have big projects and whatever else in this rhythm of daily sheets? Sure. The idea of the daily sheet isn't that it's,

the only container for tasks or projects or rhythms. It's simply a method to help you see and name what matters most. And it is especially helpful with kids. So maybe you use the daily sheet to fall within the loose confines of an existing rhythm. So like for example, maybe you already have a day that works for you and your family. Like, you know, you have brats. You have breakfast, you do a chore, you go to the pool and have lunch, you come home, you rest and do art or read or screen time, you play again, you have dinner, you go to bed or whatever. So even if you already have a rhythm like that, the daily sheet could be where you write the specific chore or the book that the kid can read and a reminder to put away all the pool stuff when they get home.

All right, so let's say you don't have kids. You can still have a daily sheet. I talk about like the cousin idea of the daily sheet, which is basically just naming what matters in the episode, The Lazy Genius Plans a day. I'll put a link in the show notes if you want to listen to that. Because here's the thing. We make things too big and sometimes we look too far ahead. You have enough in front of you today. So keeping your daily sheet a daily sheet helps you be present so that you can see your week and your month and the big projects and whatever else with more settled eyes once it's time to look beyond today. And I love a daily sheet to list out fun and rest too. Again, this is not always about being productive. I talk about daily sheets for kids

in an episode about chores, but sometimes one of their chores is to kiss me. I literally write kiss your mom and they think it's hilarious. It's a connection. It's a connecting thing, right, between me and then. Plus, it's a check that makes them feel like they're doing something. And plus, plus, it makes the do your laundry box less annoying because that's like the only hard thing on the list. Okay. So what is this? What is daily sheets? What does this have to do with relaxing the rules? Usually we feel the need to relax the rules when the rules are too strict. maybe not too strict. Maybe strict is a word that has too many associations attached to it when we process it. But we relax rules when the rules aren't usually broken or when they serve a good

purpose, but we might lose sight of that purpose, especially if the rule is followed day after day. It just kind of becomes rote, right? So it's, it is always nice to relax the rules when you need a shift in the air, when you need a change of scenery, when maybe the rule. The rule, rules that you have set have kind of lost their sparkle a little. You've forgotten what matters why the rules were in place. It's something else here now, something new. From exclusively on Paramount Plus, it's the series Stephen King calls Scarious Hell. Everything here is impossible, but it's also real. Sci-fi vision calls it the best show streaming right now. We're running out of time and we still don't know the rules. Don't miss what the movie blog calls something you need to watch.

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can spark awe, wonder, and enhance the quality of public life. You can find us wherever you listen to your podcasts. Here are two thoughts I want to just wrap this up with about this. So first, the daily sheets, they give you a built-in method of relaxing the rules because the only rule is that you have a daily sheet. What's on it, how many things, whatever is, whatever it is, it's completely up to you. So when you're thinking about what is important to your third grader today and your filling out the daily sheet, what matters might be a day for his introverted heart to relax. So his daily sheet says, one thing, hang out in your room as long as you want. And that's the only

checkbox. Maybe your extroverted third grader is feeling the lack of friends and not being in school for so long. And so her daily sheet could say, make a list of the friends to hang out with this summer and what you could do with them and then let her go do it. So you're seeing the need, you're seeing that like extroverted need and seeing what matters for both kids and writing those things down in a place that they always look. And it could just be that one thing, right? So again, the only rule here is that you have a daily sheet or something like it that works for you. That means that you have the easiest path to relaxing rules because the daily sheet itself, it isn't rigid or consistent in what's on it. just it exists. That's it. It lends itself so very well to relaxing the rules because it already has so much margin built in. Second thought, I want you to remember that rules, much like routines, are a path to get somewhere specific. They are not the destination itself. So for example, your kid's bedtime is what it is because the main idea is to have them rested for the next day

to keep them from getting overtired, you know, to keep them, to give them a sense of like what to expect from one day to the next. Because structure is great. Bed times are great. I'm not saying they're not. Of course they are. But let's say you want to watch a meteor shower or go to a drive-in movie or camp in the backyard or drive to see grandma or watch fireworks. Like all of those things compete with bed times, right? But when you remember your purpose, when you remember what matters, you have better clarity on what rules to relax for the sake of a bigger purpose. Experiencing a meteor shower is so cool and a fun experience for a kid. Honestly, even if you don't even see meteors,

like staying up late or being woken up in the middle of the night, that's like a whole thing in itself. That experience is one that will connect you to your kid and is very likely more important than the kid being rested the next day. The next day they can take a nap or they can go to bed early or be a little grumpy and you'll know why and you'll make a dinner that makes that kid happy to kind of offset their mood and yours as well. So remember that rules are a path to somewhere specific, not the destination. And if you're trying to go somewhere else today, then relax the rule.

Alter the course. Again, that's why I love the daily sheet. It gives you permission to set a new course every single day. Now, if the idea of that makes you crazy, keep the same course until it doesn't work anymore or change one of the three things and leave the other two. You know, you don't have to start from scratch every day. Just give yourself a chance to name what matters every day. That act alone will give you immediate perspective on when to relax the rules and built in permission and a system to actually do it. you can do this for your kids, you could do this for yourself. So that's when to relax the rules.

So I'm going to put links to the other episodes I mentioned in the show notes. But for a quick idea, the daily sheet, it can be a whiteboard, a notepad, a chalkboard, whatever. Just write the person's name and then whatever things go on the sheet. Erase if you want, do it again the next day. It's about as simple as it can get and is super helpful. in starting small in creating a rhythm and knowing when to adjust it. It's just it's about the smallest place that you can start, but it's so very valuable because you're starting with the most important

thing. You're starting with what matters. So I hope it helps. I'd love to hear how it goes. You can join me on Instagram this Thursday and we'll talk live about your daily sheets and how that kind of impacts, how you relax rules and what matters to you in this time and all that kind of stuff. So you can follow me on Instagram at The Lazy Genius. And I usually do a live on Instagram every Thursday around 12 Eastern Time. Okay, thanks so much for listening. I appreciate you all so much. And a very specific, grateful thank you to you all for making The Lazy Genius Way a number one bestseller before it's actually released. Seriously. You all pre-ordered that book like champs and the book that barely anyone has has even seen, it hit number one in two categories.

You guys, it was such a surprise, partly because it's new that Amazon ranks unreleased books. They haven't really ever done that until recently. And I didn't know they did that now. So it really took me by surprise. But then partly because, I mean, obviously, I didn't write a book with the intent that it would be a bestseller. I wrote it to help you. So to see that many of you excited to read it. It was seriously the coolest thing.

And I'm just so, so grateful. So thank you, thank you, thank you. All right, until next time, be a genius about the things that matter and lazy about the things that don't. I'm Kendra, and I'll see you next week. If you ever felt like you were living just a B or B plus life, it's so dangerous to live that. More dangerous than a B minus or a C plus life? Because when you're living a B or B plus life, you don't change it. You think it's good enough.

Is it? I'm Susie Welch. I host a podcast called Becoming You. People think, okay, an A-plus life is not available to me, but there is a way. We are all in the process of becoming ourselves. Listen to Becoming You wherever you get your podcasts.